Suit of the Week: Escada

93 Comments

1. I will be the first to say that I love this suit. Just saw it pop up when I came back from a meeting, and my first response was basically, “omg” What a beautiful color! Not sure about the suit. The sleeves look sloppy to me (a fitted cap sleeve would be prettier, I think) and the seam detail is odd. Sadly, it is so far out of my price range, at least I can use it as a benchmark. There are definitely details and fit characteristics that are worth emulating.

   1. My first thought too. LOVE the color. Just stunning. Not sure I would wear the entire suit but I’d definitely wear the dress.

      1. My thoughts exactly. I love the color.

   2. It’s a great color. But it’s a whole lot of look, as Tim Gunn would say. I might wear the full suit if I were a T-Mobile executive.

      1. It’s a whole lot of look. But if I am ever on my sorority’s executive board, I am wearing this to the convention, but with a bright white shell and some sort of metallic pumps.

         [FWIW, our color is a much lighter pink, which I hate, but this sort of pink I adore, especially with some Nancy Pelosi-style pearls.]

         [And before you laugh too much, I learned a ton of management and people skills serving in various jobs in my sorority at a public-ivy-type undergrad. And my sorority foundation gave me a much-appreciated scholarship for law school. I think of it as much older girl scouts.]

         1. “Public ivy” = not a real thing. But nice try.

            1. Cornell = public ivy. Because it actually is a public ivy (Ag school, for example). So yeah, nice try.

            2. Cornell is an Ivy. It’s not public at all. Public Ivy refers to public schools that offer an Ivy League quality education and sometimes an Ivy League look and feel to the campus. So yeah, nice try.

            3. “Public ivy” is a widely accepted term for a number of competitive, rigorous public institutions. Even if you don’t agree with the characterization of those schools, it’s very much “real” — no need to jerk around the OP for invoking the concept as part of a larger picture.

            4. Thanks ACD – I didn’t know that term. I truly thought the OP was just talking about Cornell.

               @Law Firm Recruiter: Cornell is an Ivy. It is also a publicly-funded university that provides reduced tuition to New York residents who attend its ag school. I went there. It catches a lot of s**t from other Ivies who like to mock it for its “public” status. It also has a very robust Greek system. Based on OP’s comment, I assumed she was referring to Cornell.

            5. I assume OP is AKA at Cal or Michigan. Either way, Cornell is part public school, contracted by the state. Their law school is not public which is why the recruiter is confused.

            6. Unnecessary b*itchery = real thing.

            7. What a snot potato you are!

   3. whoops. I dropped the ball on the edit function. By “not sure about the suit” I mean not sure about the dress. The separates are lovely. And the suit jacket & skirt fit the model impeccably.

   4. This suit is a bit too Elle Woods for me but here is a cheaper alternative: http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/evan-picone-three-button-textured-skirt-suit?ID=1410166&PartnerID=LINKSHARE&cm_mmc=LINKSHARE-_-4-_-35-_-MP435&LinkshareID=J84DHJLQkR4-t0esAoqlVnTqPVSfcR3UfA

   5. I *love* that dress.

      Thankfully the color – while beautiful – does not look good on me, so I can safely keep my $1,250. lol.

2. White Jeans – an acceptable summer look for a casual friday where jeans are permitted, or too “I’m just swinging by the office on my way to the boat” ?

   1. I think they’re totally acceptable as long as you dress them up i.e. white jeans + a work blouse (or blazer) + nice shoes (not boat shoes) and you will look office appropriate and summery!

   2. I think they’re dressier than all but the darkest trouser-cut jeans, so I vote yes, assuming you’re in a jeans-appropriate office.

      1. Yes, I’m in a jeans-appropriate office, and was planning to pair them with either a collared or collarless blouse and ballet flats.

         1. Totally appropriate when jeans are acceptable.

      2. Not sure I’d go that far, but I agree they’re dressier than other non-blue denim and are normally an acceptable casual Friday look.

   3. No. 1: Just make sure they are substantial enough to not reveal panties (and wear nude-for-you only) and No. 2, fit well. If they are too tight, well, the camel toe is much more obvious than on any other color. Here a boyfriend or classic straight leg cut is your friend unless you aren’t curvy, in which case, refer back to No. 1 above.

3. My hairdryer is starting to call it quits (it occasionally stops working for a split second, but then starts up again). But I use it daily and would like to look into a new one. Do you have one that you would recommend? I would prefer something that’s not too loud. I have fine hair so I don’t need a diffuser or any special bells and whistles. Thanks.

   1. I was just in the same boat, and just purchased the BaByliss Pro BABP2800 Porcelain Ceramic one from Amazon. I believe it was about $50? I don’t use it daily, but it is relatively quiet, the controls are in a comfortable position, and it dries my hair quickly and smoothly. I can’t speak to the durability as I have had it only a few months, but I have been pretty happy with it.

      1. +1 to that hair dryer. It does a fast job of blowing my long hair. I’m very impatient waiting for my hair to dry.

   2. My stylist uses this one, so I bought the same. I got it 20% off, and I think they have the same sale on right now, too. I have fine hair, and it works great.

      http://www.folica.com/tools/hair-dryers/solia-1875w-thermal-ionic-hair-dryer

4. I just got a text from an ex to ask if I want to get coffee while he visits my city. I haven’t seen him in several years and am now in a long-term relationship (the last time I saw him, I was single, and I don’t think he knows I’ve been in a relationship for the past three years).

   So, my threadjack is this – have any of you successfully rekindled friendships with exes? How did your SO feel about it? I predict the answers will tend towards steering clear, but would love to read any juicy stories.

   1. For me, it depends on the nature of the ex and how the relationship ended. If he had made by life terrible and had an ugly breakup, then I would never have any communication with that person ever. If the person was good natured and the break up was a mutual decision (where we both had respect to each other but couldn’t make it work for some reason, but still can be good friends), I would meet with full disclosure to my husband.

   2. My ex-husband is one of my best friends. It took several years of not-much-contact but we are close again. Really we should never have tried to be a couple, this works much better. But that’s what happens when you’re young.

      My BF of three years is fine with it; he knows full well I am never going back there. Ex has visited my city and we’ve all gone out to dinner, hung out, etc.

      1. This. I am good friends with my ex-husband. My current, very long term boyfriend is okay with it. I am always honest about when we meet. I let my boyfriend know in advance so that he never feels like I am trying to sneak it by him or something.

   3. Agree with Anon #1. I met with an ex a year after we broke up, and a few months after I was in a serious relationship with my now DH. It was a reasonably healthy breakup – he initiated it, but he didn’t do anything jerky – and I had no real feelings of ill will (as opposed to my prior breakup which left me plotting elaborate revenge scenarios). It was a perfectly pleasant coffee, we left on pleasant terms, and while I wouldn’t say we’re friends — he lives 1000 miles away — I wish him nothing but the best.

      Oh and then-BF / now-DH was totally fine with coffee. Would probably be fine also if we were remote FB friends or something.

   4. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having coffee with an ex while you’re in a relationship, but from the tone of your comment I get the feeling that you feel like this is something you should avoid, and if you feel that way, you probably should avoid it. There’s nothing wrong with saying no.
      Personally, I would not see an ex without telling my husband about it. First, because if it makes him uncomfortable at all, I wouldn’t want to do it – I care about my husband’s feelings a lot and don’t particularly care about seeing an ex. Second, I think being open about it from the beginning removes any sort of feeling that you’re doing something illicit or secretive, which makes it more likely your SO will be fine with it.
      I would also not see an ex who I had any sort of lingering or unresolved feelings for.
      I also think you should make it clear that you have a long-term SO before you see him, if nothing else, just so he knows it is a friendly coffee and nothing more. He may lose interest in reconnecting when he realizes you’re not single.

      1. I agree with ANON, whatever her real name is. YAY!! She make’s alot of sense. If you are NOT married (like me), I think that with ex boyfreind’s, you have to keep in mind that if you are still single, they may still make a move on you, even if they ARE in another releationship, and even if you are in another releationship. Why? Because when you were boyfreind and girlfreind, you did alot of stuff together (includeing romantic stuff), and he still remembers that stuff and want’s to do it again (especialy if he is ONLEY in town for a few days). This way, he can see if what he NOW has is better. But WE as ladie’s, must resist the temtation of haveing causal sex b/c while it is easy for MEN to have sex and walk away, it mean’s more to us. I am sure we all remember intimate detail’s about what we did with our ex’s and what they did to us, and even tho it may have been fun (or not), the LAST thing we need is for that guy to just come, and wham bam, thank you mam and then go back to his girlfreind. Also, since we do NOT know what he has been up to, or where that thing has been, we should NOT do anything on the spurr of the moment b/c we could catch something that we do NOT (or can NOT) get rid of. How embarasing it would be to have to explain how it is that we got something from an ex who just came in from out of town. FOOEY on that! I say we deserve MUCH more then to be a sexueal object for him if he come’s into town, and it all start’s with coffee, then drink’s then dinner, then back to his hotel room. DOUBEL FOOEY!

   5. What kind of ex is this? I’m friendly with a couple of my exes… I don’t go out of my way, but if one of us happens to be in the other’s city, we drop a note and see if it would be easy to meet up. We parted on decent terms, and we’ve moved on and are happily married to other people. I tell my husband where’ I’m going and with whom, and invite him to stop by if he’s curious to meet the guy (he always declines, but I know it makes him more comfortable that he’s invited).

      Then there’s this one: Bad ex and I had a decade-long on-again off-again history and the sort of volitile relationship that swings wildly from love to hate. It’s fair to say both of us were still holding a candle, despite being involved with other people, and we both knew it. Having not spoken to each other for more than a year after the most recent blowout fight, we temporarily ended up in the same city for work, and met up out of necessity. Nothing terrible happened, and we remembered how much we have in common and how fun it is to hang out together when we’re both on our better behavior, so we kept spending time together for the month or two we were there, both without our SOs. There was certainly some of what one might call “emotional cheating” going on. I was upfront with my boyfriend that I was spending time with the ex (bf was not happy about that, but I was not receptive to him telling me how I could spend my time), but ex didn’t tell his current girlfriend. She found out anyway, and everything spiraled from there. Both SOs had prior knowledge of the trainwreck that was our previous relationship, and were not sympathetic when things got messy. Lots of feelings were hurt, both of our relationships with our respective SO suffered, and ultimately we parted on bad terms and haven’t spoken to eachother in years.

      So if anything about that sounds familiar to you, I’d say thanks but no thanks to coffee.

   6. I got the the same request when I was in the same position as you, and I declined the invitation. I am not friends with any ex- and I didn’t feel I had anything I wanted to talk about with this person. More than that, I assumed that ex- wanted to get back together again and I *definitely* did not and was happy in my new relationship. The assumption turned out to be correct because after I declined, he sent me flowers to my office, which is something he never did before.

   7. I met up with my ex for lunch. We had a really dramatic relationship and break up and he called me out of nowhere a couple years later and asked if I wanted to grab lunch. He was dating his now wife at the time and I was in a relationship with a guy who ended up being a huge jerk. I told my boyfriend at the time that I was going and he said he was fine with it. Admittedly I was going because I still had feelings for the ex (I didn’t tell my boyfriend at the time that part – I was 22 and immature). The conversation during lunch was basically how much he hated his life (he was working his ass off to support his gf and deadbeat brother) and how successful my life was. He also apologized for how he treated me. When we were leaving some woman came up to me and told me (in front of him) that I had the most beautiful hair she had ever seen in her entire life, so that was pretty awesome too. That was the last time I talked to him. He is now married with two kids and lives across the country and I am happily married. It was nice to have some closure, though, and I personally appreciated the apology. It really changed my perception of him as a person because I realized we were both just young and mature when we were together and he wasn’t actually a bad person. That being said, if I got a similar request now that I am happily married, I would probably decline it. For me it’s not worth playing with fire.

   8. I received the same invitation from “The Ex” 3 years after we had broken up. The Ex was the one who did the breaking up, and in a pretty devastating way, so I was hesitant to speak with/see him (we had not spoken at all since the break up, though had emailed from time to time). The Ex knew I was in a new, serious relationship at that time, and I told my then-BF (now-DH) about the invitation and he was fine with it. So, I accepted, and the Ex said he would email the week of with details for time/place.

      But then The Ex didn’t confirm details, and I wondered what was going on…. and then the day before we were supposed to meet up he emailed me and said, “This is gonna sound weird. But I know how horrible I was to you when we broke up and I still feel awful about it. I’m really sorry for how I acted, I should have apologized long ago. But in light of this all, I don’t know that I really am fully comfortable seeing you in person. What do you think?” As soon as I saw that email I let out the biggest sigh of relief and literally almost started crying. He was right. I didn’t need to see him in person, I just needed an apology, and we both needed a sense of closure. The email did the trick, and I wrote him back, “You’re right. Thanks for being honest. And thank you for the apology.” We have not emailed (or communicated otherwise) since (this was 3 years ago).

      I agree with some of the comments above–it depends on what kind of ex it is and why you’re going. My reason for meeting up with The Ex would have been to get closure, not to add another friend–I already have plenty of friends. As it turns out, there was a way to get closure that didn’t require the emotional in-person meeting. Also think about his reasons–if they are selfish and do not also benefit you, don’t go unless you are 100% comfortable with it.

   9. One of my & my husband’s best friends is an ex. We dated in high school and through early college. It was actually a really bad relationship at the end, but it was more due to us being “young and in love”, i.e., insane with hormones & in our first serious relationship. So, I think it only works because it’s ancient history, there are no lingering feelings, and it’s almost like he’s a cousin at this point. If it was a more recent ex with any unresolved issues or if I had a jealous husband, I don’t think it would work so well.

5. Real-time advice needed: Would you say anything if you thought your assistant might have just been crying, but you’re not sure? Her eyes are red and I thought I just heard her sniffle. But then she just came into my office to drop off documents and didn’t seem like she was averting her gaze or anything. It could be allergies, and if I were actually crying at work the absolute last thing I would want would be for someone to say something about it; the kindest thing anyone could do would be to ignore me. On the other hand, I’m kind of standoffish when it comes to emotions, and I recognize not everyone is, and I don’t want to be callous toward her if there’s something wrong. In case it matters, we have a good working relationship but are not personally close.

   1. You could swing by her desk on your way to the break room and say, “I’m getting some coffee, can I get you anything?” She will have to answer in some way, and you should be able to discern what’s going on. If it appears that she has been crying, I’d follow up with an empathetic/sympathetic/nurturing-sounding “Are you ok?” after she responds.

   2. Personally I would never say anything unless she gave me some reason to think she wanted to talk about it. I’ve cried in my office before, and one of the partners came in shortly after. It was definitely clear I’d been crying, and I would have been mortified if he’d said anything.

      1. +1

      2. +a million. I would DIE.

      3. Was once caught crying by a partner. I died.

   3. I would ignore it, but I’m like you – I would hate to discuss my crying/anything that made me cry with coworkers. If this becomes a pattern where she is regularly crying, I’d ask her if she was okay and if there was something going on in her life. But not if this seems to be a one-time thing.

      1. I’d ignore it, unless you have a close relationship with her or she indicates that she’d like to discuss it. I’m a crier (I tend to tear up when I’m frustrated or tired, rather than get upset or cranky) and as much as I try to hide it or prevent it from happening, I’m mortified when people notice.

   4. Don’t ask. She is probably trying very hard to stop crying about whatever it is, and having to revisit it to explain it to you will probably make her start again, and she’ll be embarrassed.

   5. Many thanks for all the responses! I actually was going out to get coffee, so I asked her if she wanted one. She answered with a big smile, which made me think if she was upset she was trying not to let me notice. I left her alone after that, and now she seems fine.

6. Any advice on dealing with negative feedback from a client?

   I’m in a client-facing role and I had a new client complain to my boss that I emailed him when he’d prefer to be contacted via phone (except the client has never once communicated that preference to me – via phone or email). I know it’s a bit ridiculous, but this is the first less-than-positive feedback I’ve ever received from a client and I had to sit in while my boss called the client to apologize. Being the Type A perfectionist that I am, I’m beating myself up over it, even though it’s something relatively silly. Any advice on how to shake it off and move on? Because right now I honestly just want to cry at my desk.

   1. The client doesn’t tell you that they prefer phone, the client goes directly to your boss to voice their preference, and then your boss called the client with you sitting there? I would develop some thicker skin if you are going to be dealing with this client more. You should not beat yourself up for failing to meet an expectation that you didn’t know about (and there was no reason that you should have known about).

   2. I hate this feeling! I always feel better after doing two things: make a positive change to avoid the complaint in the future, and then move on to a “quick-win” project that will remind me I’m fully capable of doing my job.

      I also feel better after getting home, putting on my favorite relaxing clothes, drinking a gin and tonic and taking a long shower. A good night’s sleep will do wonders!

   3. It’s not personal, it’s them. You didn’t know because they didn’t say anything to you. All you can do it consider asking clients’ preferences for communication moving forward. Hard in the moment, but have a moment to wallow, then enjoy the long weekend!!!!

7. Love the color. Wouldn’t probably wear it to work but maybe to a conference.

8. Just wanted to say thanks for all of the great advice in this morning’s thread about taking my first deposition! You all are the best.

   1. The mistake I made in my first few was saying “okay” after each question was asked.
      What’s your full name?
      Bob John Joe
      Okay. What’s your date of birth?
      July 2, 2014
      Okay. And what’s your current address?
      etc. you get it.

      1. I did that too! Reading through that whole column of “okay” was awful.

         Newbie, you will do great! Best of luck.

9. PSA: Neiman Marcus is having a one-day sale of Michael Kors items, including quite a few classic totes and laptop bags http://www.neimanmarcus.com/Sale/Michael-Michael-Kors-Sale/cat51270755_cat980731_cat000000/c.cat?ecid=NMEC070214_ESL_FH&ncx=n&uEm=7fRNfw0Sfafl0B0Ng6vfQggalg7&cs_rid=NskM38&cs_mid=_BTtEi3B86-G-Z2

10. This is going to sound really weird, but hear me out.

    Do you ever get anxiety about holidays that aren’t explicitly family time holidays (like Thanksgiving)? For some reason, holidays like the 4th of July or Halloween make me really anxious because whatever I do doesn’t feel right or like it’s enough or with the right group of people… ugh, this sounds stupid once I type it out. It’s kind of like New Year’s. I always end up feeling like my NYE sums up exactly who I am and where I am in life, and no matter who I’m with or what I’m doing, I get stressed out. Then I want to hole up and do nothing, but that wouldn’t make me happy, either.

    Anyway, I’m feeling this way about the 4th. There are picnics and barbecues going on, but some of my closest friends are out of town visiting family. My family is local, so I see them all the time and don’t have specific plans to see them this weekend.

    I should add that I am totally fine doing nothing/reading/writing/etc. for days on end… as long as it’s not a holiday when I feel like I SHOULD be doing something else and everyone else has fabulous, better lives.

    Yes, I know I have issues. But does anyone else ever feel like this?

    1. Yes, I’m essentially in the exact same situation this year and feel anxiety about it, especially when my siblings say things like “you’re young and live in the city, do something!” but I have no one to do it with but them since everyone else is gone.

       No advice, but I feel ya.

    2. I am absolutely in that boat! I feel like especially in this age of Instagram/Facebook we all feel the ‘Fear of Missing Out’ and not seeming to measure up to everyone else. I can’t say I am always able to forget about it but the last few years of NYE and related holidays I try to figure out what I want to do and just own it.

    3. Yep. I have mild social anxiety, and so holidays for which there isn’t a script are tough on me. Holidays that are normally social occasions (as opposed to family occasions) are the worst, because if I don’t do anything I feel like a loser, and if I do something I feel like I’m doing it wrong.

       Signed,
       Introvert with Social Anxiety whose dream is to be a Socially Adept Extrovert

       1. That is such a good way of putting it! That’s exactly how I feel. It’s the lack of social script that does me in. Once I know what I’m “supposed” to be doing, things are fine. Glad to know I’m not alone in this.

       2. YES! I actually reached a point in my mid or late 20’s when I intentionally stopped doing anything on July 4th or NYE because the process of making (or failing to make) plans was just so miserable.

          Honestly, this has been one of the best things about getting married and having kids. I feel like “my family is going to eat ice cream and watch a movie at home” has more umph than “I’m going to eat ice cream and watch a movie at home”.

       3. Yes yes yes, this.

    4. Occasionally, though less as I’ve been getting older. I’m an introvert and have always been the 1-2 close friends (now + husband) type. So flipping through more popular/extroverted facebook friend posts, for example, used to make me think I wasn’t interesting or fun because I rarely was in the photos of an OMG awesome night / group Spring Break / Sunday Funday / what have you. However, I’ve been trying to keep in mind the good old “comparison is the thief of joy” in mind – if I’m happy and content doing my thing, who cares if I don’t have a super full social calendar?

    5. I think everyone feels that way sometimes, especially with The Facebook shoving everyone else’s amazingly perfect holiday barbecues/boat trips/etc. in our faces. If you’re concerned about not having plans for the 4th, could you get in touch with someone of your not-closest friends and see what they’re doing? Or have your own picnic or BBQ with your fam? Last 4th I tagged along with some fairly random not-my-best-friends to hang out at a lake (a lake at a public park with $3 entry, not some schmancy lake) all day drinking beer, playing cornhole, and grilling–it was not the Best Day Ever OMG, but it was pleasant, and I now consider myself better friends with the people in question. The overall stress and planning levels were around 0. (And it ended up being super-Instagrammable, if you care ;)

       So, IDK. Find some plans if you want to find plans. If you want to hole up, hole up. If you know from experience that you will want to hole up, but that you’ll feel blergh after holing up, make some plans, even if they are not the plans to rule all plans. You are not crazy. You are not weird.

       1. Where do you live that a lake at a public park has an entry fee? This is unheard of to me (I’m in the PNW).

          1. FWIW, I’m in PDX and Blue Lake and Lewis and Clark (Sandy river) parks have a day use fee. That’s just off the top of my head.

             1. Oh yeah. I guess I forget about day use fees because they’re inconvenient (and rarely enforced) so I risk it and don’t pay them. If there was an app to pay the Sauvie Island fee, I’d always do it.

             2. I could lecture you, but I assume you already know the reasons for the fees and understand why users of the amenities should pay their share. So instead I’m just going to say that I’m very disappointed that you’re too lazy to pay your fair share and feel that’s acceptable.

             3. *eye roll* Oh my, I bet you love that feeling of superiority. I’m sure one day I’ll get a nice big ticket and that’ll just knock your socks off.

             4. Seriously, not cool anon @ 6:42. If you’re reading this blog, I highly doubt a $3 daily use fee is a financial burden. Those little fees aren’t much to you, but when everyone skips them it has a big impact.

    6. I felt the same way about NYE until a couple of years ago. I felt so much pressure to do something awesome and never have as much fun as I think I’m supposed to. Luckily my fiancé felt the same way so starting 2 years ago we started our own tradition of doing exactly what we wanted to do. In our case that means lounging around all day, I like to review the previous year and make goals for the new one, then have a fancy meal at home and watch the ball drop. Stopping the pressure I was putting on myself and admitting what I really wanted to do deep down seriously made the holiday so much more enjoyable.

    7. I used to feel like this when I was younger, and sort of grew out of it after a while. There are no rules that insist you have THE BEST Fourth of July. I’ve spent several watching fireworks on TV on my couch alone, and looking back, there was no connection to what that meant about my life at the time. That said, you can also participate in community activities without friends or family, if that’s what you want to do, and you can do it alone.

       I think the best I can say is that it is a holiday. Take a break from being the overachieving chick and just find something you enjoy doing, and don’t worry about how it stacks up to what everyone else is doing. As someone generally riddled with anxiety, I know its hard to let go of that feeling, and I hope this helps.

    8. Yes, I definitely feel this way from time to time and I think social media makes it a lot worse because you only see posts about the parties and BBQs and not about the people that are just staying home and hanging out. And people tend to exaggerate how great everything is, so even if someone goes to a party that is boring, with bad food, etc, they’ll only post the good parts and make it seem like they had an amazing time. My #1 tip is to stay off social media around these holidays. We all spend so much time on the computer anyway, the way I see it a holiday is a chance to turn off the computer, go outside, read a book, etc. Also I’m not sure how old you are, but my NYE sads have definitely waned as I get older. I much, much prefer to stay home, bake cookies and watch the ball drop with my husband but in my early 20s I felt a lot of pressure to go out and definitely felt a little bummed staying home even though it was what I actually wanted to do. That feeling has totally dissipated as I get into my late 20s and the party pictures on Facebook don’t look glamorous or exciting, they just look exhausting. This was confirmed when we actually went to a party last year and could barely stay up til midnight.

    9. I get anxiety this all the time around holidays. I feel like I’m supposed to have a cute little trip planned and have an amazing social life. Most of the time I end up eating take out and sleeping in. Or cleaning.

       Nice to know I’m not the only one.

    10. I’m going to a fabulous weekend away with all my friends that will look picture perfect on Facebook. But actually I’m heartbroken because all I wanted to do was sit quietly with someone who just decided not to love me any more. Appearances aren’t always what they seem.

        1. I’m so sorry. Hugs.

        2. I’m sorry. I’ve been there, and that is an awful feeling. Here’s hoping your fabulous plans will help take your mind off, and that next year you’ll be able to enjoy them wholeheartedly.

    11. This sounds like the perfect opportunity to plan a “you” day. Maybe visit a museum you’ve been wanting to go to or get a massage or go shopping in a normally not convenient place or go on a hike or take a road trip to a special spot or cafe you’ve read about. You can make these types of days really great all by yourself!

    12. I’m a non-socially awkward introvert. I enjoy social situations and don’t feel uncomfortable at them, but at a certain point I have to go home and be by myself or I will freaking DIE of people overdose.

        I think it all comes down to two things– managing your expectations and figuring out what you want.

        I have less a problem on Halloween (never been into it) and 4th of July (have longstanding annual plans), but had a big problem with it about NYE for years, probably because it always looks so glamorous on TV shows. What finally solved it for me was to figure out what I truly wanted out of those holidays, and then made it happen for myself. For instance, I always felt like I *should* go out and be all glamorous and stuff on NYE, but the real truth about myself is that I hate cold weather, I hate staying up late, and I hate crowded and noisy bars. So now, if I do anything on NYE, it’s having people over to my house. If I’m not feeling social, I put on a cocktail dress with sweatpants under it, drink champagne, and happily sit on my couch with my cat and husband until whenever I want to go to bed.

        There’s a lot of comfort in actually deciding what YOU want and then making it happen, and in adjusting your expectations. If you expect your life to look like an episode of some fancy show, you’re much more likely to feel bad about it, I think.

        I actually have more anxiety surrounding family holidays than ones I can be on my own to do what I want. My husband and I also completely skip valentines day. Speaking of out of control anxiety and expectations of doom.

    13. Stay home and read Susan Cain’s “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” and enjoy!

    14. YES. Pretty much every holiday I feel like I should have plans to at least go to a BBQ or something, but usually don’t, or it’s like a last minute thing that we end up going to since we didn’t bother to make other plans.

        Family holidays are actually worse, though, because I am not on speaking terms with my mother and it makes me even more sad that I don’t feel like I have much of a family. At least you get to pick who your friends are!

11. Do any of you have any recommendations for books/other resources for generally increasing computer literacy? I’m in my 20s so I’ve grown up using computers. Most books I’ve seen on Amazon are either too simple (I know how to create a Word document) or are a few years old, which could be a problem given how rapidly technology evolves. I recognize that I need to have a better understanding of personal computer tech instead of being so reliant on IT/my SO for simple problems, but I’m not very interested in it and I would love to have a single resource instead of looking up each element individually. Thanks in advance!

    1. I would forgo the books and do a couple of sessions with a private computer tutor – not the people from a big box store but an individual. They can tailor your sessions to exactly what you want/need to know and it would not be so dry as a book or website.

    2. Do you google search your issues first? This probably seems super obvious, but I am one of those people who is always helping family and friends with simple computer problems and it is something they do not do. You can typically find a step-by-step video or tutorial on how to solve a computer issue. I can see a book becoming outdated as software changes so I would not recommend that.

    3. Lynda.com is a great resource for learning how to use new software. They have excellent tutorials.

12. Sorry – this was in response to holiday weekend anxiety.

    I think I understand what you’re saying. In the past, I used to get depressed around New Years. I felt like I should be going to a glitzy party, dressed to the nines when my real plans involved having a low key get together at home with friends and family.

    Relax and do some activity that you find fun or relaxing. Try not to feel pressured into having the perfect holiday plans based on what you see on Pinterest, blogs, tv. People may post pictures of their super-fun weekend on Facebook, but that is just a small snippet for their life.

    Perhaps part of it is age. I remember feeling like this more when I was in college and my early 20s. I’m 36 now and making drinks at home and hanging with family/close friends is much more preferable to me than going out to some bar on NYE.

    Anyway, hope you have a good weekend and try not to get too stressed!

13. This suit is beautiful!

    Does anyone have a proofreading checklist they are willing to share? I need some type of system for reviewing docs/catching errors before I file them with the court. Thanks!

    1. I just came across this one and thought it was pretty good: http://www.illinoistrialpractice.com/2008/03/self-editing-ti.html

14. Our law school Assistant Dean/ Fed Tax instructor rocked a suit like this. I always thought it was the ultimate “I am a confident woman” suit. Love it.

15. I love the cut, and the blazer I would wear with a navy or black dress Maybe, but I couldn’t do the whole suit.

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