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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This week of TPS reports comes to you from Stephanie Rahlfs of Adventures in the Stiletto Jungle, who also shared a week of her picks back in 2011.
This Calvin Klein cap-sleeve sheath dress is an amazing plus size option for a chic summer in the office. The neckline is fashion-forward, yet still 100% professional, and the ruched waistline is crazy flattering. It can easily go from day to night with a change of accessories, plus it’s fully lined, which is a rare detail at this price point. No need to just take my word for it — this dress has seven perfect 5-star reviews at Macys.com! Of course I love the sleek black option, but it’s also available in a very pretty lagoon blue. The dress is available at Macy's in sizes 14W to 22W for $99.98. Calvin Klein Plus Size Cap-Sleeve Cutout-Neckline Sheath
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
2016 Update: This dress is now in our Workwear Hall of Fame! It's been around for eons in regular, petite and plus sizes, comes in multiple colors and prints, is consistently less than $99 (sometimes as low as $35, sometimes as high as $135 if it's a print), and wins rave reviews everywhere. Macy's carries it pretty consistently; it's also sometimes available at other shops like Amazon or Dillards.
(L-all)
WSJ
Can we please discuss this morning’s Nina McLemore article? I’ve never heard of her (but knew of Akris first through the WSJ (not W, not Vogue, not female lawyers at my firm or that I know). But I think I need to scope her out now.
Ellen
Yay! Fruegel Thursday’s–I love Fruegel Thursday b/c there is no work on Fruegel Friday! This is a great selection, though these are PLUS sizes being sold which hopefully I will never have to shop for, but great for the HIVE who do. Thank’s to Stephenie! YAY!
I even have the day off tomorow b/c the manageing partner says I do NOT have to do anything but come to the Hamton’s and stay over. His brother will be there, so I will have to bring my own clothe’s this time. I told him about Willem calleing me about the World Cup (Soccer) and he is goeing to Brazil to see Belgum play Saturday. He said his family would be there and he would let me come if I told him we were engaged, but I have NO interest in Willem, Belgum or Soccer, so I said no. The manageing partner’s brother thought that was a good idea, b/c he want’s to see me in the Hamton’s. I am still on the fence with him b/c he is old enough to be my dad, and his son (Harold) even wanted to date me. I do NOT want to be acused of robbeing the cradel, but on the other hand, I do not want his dad haveing me as his play toy and haveing to sleep with him every night is NOT something I can stomack. FOOEY!
Speakeing of
As for the OP! She is a designer of clothe’s for famous peeople! Hillary get’s dressed by her and other famous peeople my mom’s age (like Janice Yellen) and mabye head’s of state also get her clotheing. I think in 30 year’s I will have to also, unless I just retire to a life in the Hamton’s, pool side. YAY!!!! I hope the rest of the HIVE chime’s in on this b/c I am NOT the best expert to help the OP here. DOUBEL YAY for the 4th of July!
BB
Umm…where has this brand been all my life?! Totally going to check it out when I go to SF next month. It’s actually cheaper than the Paul Stuart suiting I’ve been relying on. Thanks for pointing out the article!
AnonInfinity
I loved this! I just hope I’m successful enough one of these days to shop there…
k-padi
I love that the clothing is designed to travel well and comes in sizes larger than 10/12.
I found the article via Jezebel. Ugh. A significant portion of those commenters must not be expected to dress professionally…”too boring” “too grandma” “too dowdy.” Yes! Exactly! Hillary, Kagan, etc. do not need to dress like other women! They need clothing that is the female equivalent of the navy blue suit, white shirt, and boring tie that powerful men get to wear…
BB
Haha, I thought the exact same thing of the Jezebel post. I hate read that s1te so much… :)
anon
I really like some of her pieces – some of the pieces featured in the article do feel a bit older to me (but not dowdy – in my mind there’s a difference between dowdy and age-appropriate) but I can see from her site that there’s really a whole range. And, I love that her price point is significantly lower than Akris (which I covet and which my boss wears and the suits are just so beautiful but not in my price point).
RR
This is gorgeous. And thanks for featuring a plus size pick. This really brightened my day!
Anon Worker Bee
Yes, it’s awesome to see a plus size pick! The picks on this site tend to ignore those of us who are plus size, petite, or tall.
Also, not sure what word in this comment sent it to moderation? Maybe s1te?
Anne Shirley
Lovely!
Sydney Bristow
Thanks for choosing a plus size item, Stephanie! This dress looks great.
SAlit-a-gator
Agreed. Love everything about this dress. Great choice Stephanie.
Medic Maggie
This is a beautiful dress! I love the neckline. Really, I love everything about it.
2 Cents
THANK YOU for featuring something that’s plus size!!!! It’s gorgeous and totally affordable to boot!
I’m debating it, especially since I own a similar dress with cap sleeves from Ralph Lauren, but that one’s too c**ktail-y for the office. And *love* the blue. Goodness knows I have enough black in my wardrobe.
AIMS
This is a very pretty dress. I love the detailing.
I’m a little depressed this morning because a friend of mine is probably getting a divorce and I think it’s a huge mistake (even if I know it’s not my life and not my place to say anything). I am curious though – what do you all say when you really disagree with what a friend is doing but need to be there for them? As an example, we were talking last night and she kept saying things I know to not be true that sound like they were taken directly from her mother’s talking points memo and it was so hard not to say something like, “honey, who is actually saying these things?” Or, she was telling me about something that happened where she really is the one to blame and deflected all responsibility by saying that she would never have done the X bad thing if he wasn’t horrible to begin with. Or she kept saying he was violent and I got very concerned and asked her if he had gotten physical and she said, “No, but he yells and slams things so I feel like he is unhinged and that is abusive” — obviously I take these kinds of things very seriously and I told my friend to leave immediately if she actually felt threatened but I also think it’s a bit absurd to call him violent because he slammed some doors and yelled when his wife cheated on him and then said she wanted a divorce because it was all his fault. I know I need to be supportive and I am trying not to judge but I’m just finding myself not knowing what to say. I also feel pretty guilty because I am finding myself on his side in all this and I know my friend would feel betrayed if she ever found out what I really think.
WSJ
Agree: this is a lovely dress.
Also:
This may be a situation where you have a significant knowledge deficit. That said, if she says that the marriage isn’t working for her, then it isn’t working for her and that’s that. Maybe it should be working for her,maybe it could be working for her, but it’s just not. Look at it this way: if her husband is that nice of a guy that you’re on Team Husband in this, being relieved of this wife will free him to go on to someone who is better for him. In the long run, they will be better off.
TL;DR: I’d stay quiet. Time will tell.
anon
I agree–despite what you may think, people often do the right thing. Really, you should just be there to support her through this (and her hubs, if he’s in your circle of friends, too), and be there to pick up the pieces if it gets ugly, or help her through the transition if they try to move forward, or whatever it means to you to be a good friend to her. I think Sydney’s idea about bringing it up once, in a constructive, care-for-you kind of way is also a decent choice.
Whatever you decide, hugs to you, and to her for going through this.
Sydney Bristow
My method for dealing with something like this is to express my concerns once and make it clear that I’ll never bring it up again and will be there for support regardless. I think the key is to only do it once though and then drop it so you don’t push her away.
I did this when my sister started dating a guy that concerned pretty much everyone around her. I held my tongue until I finally met him and then did tell her what my concerns were but then continued to be there for her for everything, including talking about the relationship without bringing up my concerns again. I know she went through a rough period and felt alienated by other people who kept harping on it. She’d call me and we’d talk it through. I think she appreciated the fact I was supportive even though she knew I was concerned.
MaggieLizer
This is my rule too – say what you think ONCE and then be supportive.
A couple of other thoughts:
1. The abuse. If you already think friend is being a bit unreasonable and dramatic, it can be tempting to think that she’s exaggerating the abuse allegations. But friend is in the best position to tell the difference between Mad versus Violent, even if that difference is really tough to articulate. You were absolutely right to tell her to leave immediately if she feels threatened, and try to her the benefit of the doubt if she reports any other violent or abusive behavior.
2. The affair. If friend wants to leave the relationship anyway, I’m not sure it does much good to remind her (more than once, which is fair) that she has some ownership in the relationship failing too. If anything, it seems like the right decision for her to leave if she was so unhappy she resorted to having an affair and now can’t see past his faults to accept responsibility for her own.
3. The divorce. It sounds like you feel bad for the husband, or maybe think that friend is making a big mistake for giving up on a great guy. Two people can be great individually and just not great together. It sounds like this couple is not great together. After the divorce, they will each have the opportunity to find someone that WILL be great for them. Looking at the positives might make it easier to support friend in what sounds like a very difficult process.
Anonymous
I just think you have absolutely no idea what is going on behind closed doors. But besides for that- the facts are she may be getting a divorce. Whether its her fault or his, it doesnt really matter now. It is going to be hard regardless. You can give your opinion in ways like asking if they have tried counseling, etc, but I certainly would not say something like “that doesn’t seem violent to me”
Anon in NYC
That is a hard situation to find yourself in. I think it’s okay to question some of the things she says (like, “who is saying that? Because I’ve never seen him do something like that” and questioning whether he was actually physically violent), but I think you have to draw the line at openly challenging her (i.e., disputing whether he’s abusive or not). I also think it’s fair to suggest individual or couples counseling.
You shouldn’t feel guilty about judging. But also recognize that regardless of who is right and who is wrong, your friend is unhappy in her marriage. Whether she will be happier after getting divorced is something she will have to figure out on her own.
greenie
Please trust her when she says he’s violent. This isn’t coming out of left field. He doesn’t need to hit or be physical to create a hostile environment where she’s afraid to speak her mind and is walking on eggshells all the time. Things look a lot different from the outside than they really are on the inside. Having gone through a situation like this I knew friends and family would find it hard to believe the nightmare it is to live with someone with no fuse. I was never hit, but the fear created every day that you said something wrong or made a wrong move is so isolating and confusing (especially when there are children involved as well). You lose yourself. Being able to say and understand that you are in an abusive relationship without ever being physically hit brings some clarity and peace… admitting that helps you realize that this is not okay, or normal and that you do have the right to leave/ stand up for yourself/ set a boundary and expectations.
I know that every situation is different, and in my opinion cheating is never an option or way out. But please just trust her statement that he is violent and be there as a friend.
anon for this
I agree so wholeheartedly with greenie’s comment. I, too, was in a relationship that was terribly abusive in which I was, over a period of years, brought to the point where I lived in constant fear of my significant other…yet felt so confused, and yes – so isolated because husband seemed to the rest of the world like “such a nice guy’ and never, ever acted in public the way he did in private.
Also, while I didn’t have an affair, I can’t say I wouldn’t have. I was punished by the witholding of any affection or positive comments, and it really f-ed me up…if someone had been there with the right words and affection, I can’t say I wouldn’t have because I was just so starved for affection, and had this concept that I was so unloveable, that the need to overcome those things would have been greater than the moral standards.
When I finally left him everyone thought I was selfish and crazy. They couldn’t/wouldn’t believe that great guy was the same guy that I had to put furniture in front of a locked door because he would try to kick it in (succeeded once) so he could hold me down and scream 2 inches from my face for 20 minutes.
There can sometimes be a lot more to a divorce than anyone realizes.
Anon
This.
AnotherAnon
Another agreement from me.
Another Lawyer
+1,000,000.
AN
I recall another poster saying this kind of thing long ago…abusive husband, screaming, etc and she also had a small baby. If that was you, I hope you are doing ok now….
Anon in NYC
This is a good point. I too was in a relationship that from the outside looked perfect, but his insecurity, paranoia and jealousy created this dynamic where I closed myself off from friends and other experiences just to keep the peace. He was not physically abusive at all, but the amount of emotional manipulation and control was very unhealthy.
al-anon
This. My husband was an alcoholic, and the most charismatic person you’d ever meet. Everyone loved Drunk Husband. He was the life of the party, but at home, while he was never physical with me, the emotional turmoil of never being able to say anything for utter gripping fear of starting a WWIII type argument was enough to drive me to the brink of divorce. I was ashamed to talk about it with any of my friends, except my very bestie whom I found out had been married to an alcoholic too, and she and I were able to wade through my feelings when I had nowhere else to turn. They were a very dark 5 years. There were a lot of times when I wished he would hit me so that I would have an “excuse” to leave (as though leaving an alcoholic wasn’t enough of a reason). He told me later, in counseling that he thought, time and time again about just shooting himself. Our marriage was anything but happy. I was scared all the time, resentful and angry. He was resentful and angry and trying to escape my depression (with a newborn, at the time), and it was just ugly.
I am happy to report that he is sober, for now 4.5 years, and there is a lot of happiness in our marriage. We still struggle daily to learn how to be adults together (he got sober when I was pregnant with our youngest/second child), so we had never really had a relationship where there wasn’t a third party (alcohol). And now we had 2 kids to raise on top of figuring out our own issues. It has been hard. I wish your friend good luck with her situation.
anon1
Sorry – I don’t know why she should unilaterally trust her friend regarding the “abuse.” I agree that none of us really know what goes on behind closed doors but to suggest that the OP should disregard any contradicting evidence is a little over the top. Obviously, the relationship doesn’t sound sustainable but there’s no reason for OP to check her common sense at the door just because her friend is saying that her husband is abusive. And for her friend’s sake, I really hope that she’s not exaggerating this alleged abuse because I think it’s absolutely deplorable for women to allege abuse without regard for the consequences of such an allegation. It’s a serious allegation and it should not be done flippantly.
Anon
I don’t think anyone can really know what someone else’s marriage is like from the outside. If she’s your friend I’d try listening more and judging less. She may be absolutely right that he’s awful. Slamming things is pretty outrageous in my view. That creates an environment of fear and can be very hard to leave.
L
I don’t mean this as a slam to you, but to use your word, I find it absurd that you are minimizing your friend’s feelings. A lot of people who are violence or abusive come off as the nicest people to others. My mom fits the definitions of the situations you describe. Sure on paper it doesn’t sound that bad. She slams doors, no big deal. In reality, it is terrifying.
And yes, your friend could be trying to justify her actions. But honestly, either be there for her or don’t be her friend anymore. You can’t have it both ways.
Anon
+1
ITDS
Yes, this.
Spirograph
Be there for your friend. I had a friend in a quasi-similar situation. She cheated, the divorce was messy, her husband and his friends did some terrible retaliatory things, she went through some really rough times financially, etc etc. Do I think she brought a lot of it on herself? Yes. Would it do any good to tell her that? No. She was hurting too, and she just needed to talk/cry/complain, whatever. Listening is probably the most important thing. You don’t need to say much, just be sympathetic to what she is feeling — whether she’s justified in feeling it is not your call. I would also encourage her to talk to a counselor or therapist, who can help her sort through all her feelings constructively.
AIMS
Thanks all. You raise some very good points. Of course, you are right – I don’t know her marriage. And I don’t mean to dismiss the abuse talk. The backstory to all this is her mother has always been anti-husband and so a lot of what my friend is saying now sounds like words her mother has said before, verbatim. I certainly don’t mean to diminish how my friend feels and I am very aware that things aren’t always as they seem on the outside. Her mom just has a very particular way of talking and I can hear her words coming from my friend – it’s almost creepy. I know it’s her life and not mine so I will just be supportive. I think Sydney’ say it once and move on idea is a good one. I may try it next time I see her. And I will keep reminding myself that outside isn’t reality and I could be very wrong, and either way she clearly wants out.
anon
Maybe her Mom saw something the rest of you missed?
LT IT
+1. I am skimming thru this so may be missing some details, but from what I saw I was once your friend or someone like her and it would have done no good to try to change my mind about a divorce. My ex was abusive, not physically but psychologically very much so. But also I just did not want to be married any more. A friend who had been my maid of honor encouraged me to try to keep the marriage going but I had already checked out.
When you get a divorce (in my state anyway) you have to swear to the judge that the marriage is not salvageable. Of course it’s probably almost always salvageable but we choose not to do so.
Bonnie
What a tough situation AIMS. I wouldn’t say anything because even if your friend is completely misrepresenting the facts, she still wants to be out of the marriage so nothing you can say will save it.
AIMS
Thanks, Bonnie. This is also a concern. And I don’t want to lose a friend or have her feel like she can’t lean on me just because I think she should be acting differently.
Killer Kitten Heels
Try re-framing this: You say you think she’s doing “the wrong thing,” but realistically, if she’s cheating on him, blaming him for it, and it’s just generally gotten to the point where both of them are unhappy, doesn’t that mean the relationship *should* end? So she’s actually doing the right thing, for her, with regard to the status of the relationship, you know? Maybe she’s not going about it in the ideal, most honorable way, but at the end of the day, I think it’s helpful to keep in mind what she’s doing, at core, which is basically just ending a relationship that doesn’t work for her anymore. You can be supportive of her decision to end what is – for her – a bad relationship without necessarily signing off morally on each and every specific thing she says or does.
Also, I do want to take issue with your saying that “slamming some doors and yelling” isn’t “violent” – I grew up in a home where this went on, and while it may not “count,” to you, as “real physical violence,” I can tell you that I absolutely experienced it as a frightening, threatening, physically dangerous, abusive environment. You seem to be saying your friend “drove him” to those behaviors, which – no. Every abuser in the world (and every abuse apologist) will be happy to tell you how their victim “made them” do terrible things to the victim (“I wouldn’t have to hit Victim if Victim just made the bed/didn’t talk back/didn’t contradict me/cleaned the house better/whatever” is a pretty common refrain). It doesn’t matter how badly your friend has behaved – slamming doors, yelling, throwing things, doing things to make the other person feel physically unsafe, is NOT okay, and is abusive. So try to have some sympathy/empathy for your friend, instead of blaming her for her husband’s behavior just because you’re uncool with the cheating part of it.
National_Anthem
A lot of people have given good advice, but I just wanted to chime in re: him being violent.
My ex-boyfriend had similar behavior – yelling, slamming doors, occasionally throwing things – and it was really scary. He never physically hurt me, but the rage that he exhibited during those outbursts was frightening to me… and the longer we were together, the worse it got (although still not physical, just more intense and more frequent).. When I broke up with him, it got out of control – we had lived together prior to the breakup , and I ended up having to call the cops when he came to get his stuff. All of the rage-y behavior that was concerning but not physical really escalated when he realized I was serious about breaking up, and I called the cops because it became clear that if he and I were alone, I was going to experience physical violence. The whole thing went very badly, and I ended up having to change the locks and then eventually move.
Yelling can be normal when two people are fighting.. Yelling can also be the first step down an ugly unfortunate road. Trust that your friend understands which she is experiencing.
Another Lawyer
Just wanted to tell you that I’m so glad you found the courage to move on from this guy.
anon1
Sheesh, just read through the comments. I guess I really am in the minority about the abuse allegations. So she says that he yells and slams things and boom, I guess he’s a monster. We have absolutely no information regarding the context of these incidents – don’t know if the yelling and the slamming things was in response to when he found out that she cheated on him but we’re just supposed to jump right on the “he must be a monster” bandwagon? If these violent outbursts were a regular occurrence, I could understand but it seems that we’re just automatically assuming that they are. She’s the one that cheated and is deflecting responsibility for her actions but I don’t see anyone calling her out for that. Not saying that she needs to stay in the marriage – if she wants out, she should get out, but just not understanding this overwhelming knee-jerk support for her.
Anonattorney
I kind of agree with you, with caveats. It’s hard to tell from the OP’s comments what’s exactly going on here. Reading between the lines (maybe a little too much), I got the impression that the friend made a mistake and won’t acknowledge that, and instead is trying to make herself into the victim and cast all the blame on her husband for a failed/ing relationship. That can be hard to handle when you’re close to someone and you don’t think they’re acknowledging their own role in things.
I get the feeling that the friend lacks credibility, which makes it hard for OP to take the accusations of violence 100% seriously. I think you should always err on the side of assuming that your friend is telling you the truth when they are claiming to feel unsafe or abused, but also to use common sense if warning bells are ringing indicating that your friend is lying or distorting the truth.
There is also a BIG range of what is considered “yelling” and “slamming doors.” Some of that behavior can certainly be violent and abusive. Some is just a raised voice and a frustrated and angry way to leave the house (and to therefore take yourself out of a heated situation).
Karine
Oh, what a lovely dress. Any other similar models available online?
Anonymous
What are you looking for? Something similar but not plus-sized? Your size isn’t available? Something cheaper? Different somehow? Sorry – I’m confused by your question since this dress is available online.
Karine
Thanks for the reply. I meant other stores and sizes, actually, since I’m in Europe and we don’t have Macy’s. It does look shorter in the petite size though (and not as elegant, as mentioned). I would love to see a knee-length cap-sleeve model.
S in Chicago
It comes in not plus-sized sizing as well. Not sure if it’s just the length on that particular model (sometimes I think their dresses look shorter than they are because the model is so tall), but I don’t find it nearly as lovely.
http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-cap-sleeve-cutout-neckline-sheath?ID=1059502&pla_country=US&cm_mmc=Google_Womens_PLA-_-Ready+to+Wear+-+Dresses+-+Dresses+-+1+-+PLA-_-36390099661_adc_pg_305_11057_53042ff9e4b021b76fca1432_36390099661_c-_-_mkwid_887345055403USA|dc_36390099661%7C-%7C887345055403USA
Parfait
Also available in petite, but only in one color.
http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-petite-cap-sleeve-cutout-neckline-sheath?ID=1294847&CategoryID=55596
Anon
Any advice on what to do when you feel like you no longer get along with your family members? My sister is 3 years younger than me and we’ve always had our differences. We do get along and care about each other a lot but we have huge personality conflicts and truth to told, I’m not sure I agree with her life choices and philosophy. I’m just not really sure what to do – I don’t want to cut ties but also don’t really see the point in continuing to talk to her on a regular basis when it only infuriates me.
TIA!
Carrie
How often are you talking to her? How old is she?
It’s very easy to simply add a little distance. Maybe with time, and age/growth, both of you will be more accepting of each other.
People who are different can still be “friends”. And many of us are quite different from our family members. I tend to favor preserving family relationships unless cruel/evil/damaging variables are at play.
We are all flawed… who are we to judge, you know?
I’m an atheist.
Lyssa
When you say talk on a regular basis, do you mean just calling to chat or that sort of thing? I don’t think that that’s really necessary for a relationship. Personally, I get along great with my sister, but we really only talk occasionally – when there’s big news to share (she’s recently pregnant, BTW!), one of us has a question that the other could answer, or at family get-togethers. It’s different because the age gap is larger for us and she lives far away, though. Is it possible to limit interactions to just that, and maybe give her a little bit of the brush-off (that is, be busy) if she calls or reaches out?
If she’s toxic or abusive, sure, I agree with cutting her out (though, of course, that makes it difficult if you both interact with other family members). But if she’s just frustrating and irritating, that seems extreme.
Anon
Learn to change the subject to other things. There has to be something you can both have a pleasant conversation about.
Spotify Users
If you can listen to speakin while you work, there is a great “Word” section which has poetry, stories, language classes etc . . Listening to this at work keeps me focused and makes my inner bookworm very happy!
Parfait
Oh good to know! I was surprised to find out recently that I was able to concentrate on my own writing while listening to Ted talks on YouTube in another window.
Salary questions for young consultants
I just ended negotiations with a candidate and I’m looking for a gut-check. For anyone that worked in consulting and then moved out of consulting without an MBA, what were your salary and “level” expectations?
I had a candidate coming in from a non-big 4 consulting role (think: Dell’s consulting wing) with 4 years experience in this one nieche industry. Candidate applied for a role that asked for 3-5 years direct experience and while the experience is in the same industry, I would have had to do serious mentoring to get the candidate ready to go. Think: did a ton of EMR installations but would now be working in corporate partnerships.
Role is in a low COLA area (think: Atlanta or Phoenix).
Candidate was offered 90k with a 10k bonus.
Candidate ended up the offer because is a little less than the current employer’s comp. Couldn’t get past the “moving in house is not the same pay as consulting”
So…., is the offer insanely low? Or was there just some disconnect between the candidate and the recruiter in terms of salary expectations?
FWIW I’ve had 4 internal candidates, none as strong but all in the same ballpark, and they’ve been in the 70-90k range in terms of ask. The one that wanted 90k has 6 years of really useful experience.
Flying Squirrel
Considering that most tech consulting positions I’m aware of in higher COL areas pay somewhere in the $120-140K range for people with advanced degrees (e.g. PhDs), I think the salary you described is reasonable.
BB
Agree. 100K is reasonable. For comparison, a pre-MBA 3 years of experience, Big 4 job pays about 110K (it goes up significantly in the post-MBA role). In-house, post MBA roles vary a lot, but I have seen offers for a low COL area that were also around 110K (no big 4 experience needed).
EB0220
Was this person going from a travel to a non-travel role? With that experience and no advanced degree in a low COLA I think it’s very reasonable.
Anon Worker Bee
I agree that if the in-house role has little/no travel, it’s worth considering taking a lower salary if travel is one of the reasons you want to leave consulting. But if the new role also has a lot of travel, I can’t see taking a pay cut unless there were other major benefits like less hours.
Salary questions for young consultants
Ok, good. My husband went through a top 20 (but not top 10) MBA program fairly recently and I bounced the salary question of some his friends that came in from consulting as well.
I was just a little surprised that there was an expectation of a direct apples-to-apples salary (eg she wanted to make the move over and see a pay increase in line what what she would be getting if she stayed on the consulting track). We offered slightly below what the “all in” (but mostly bonus) salary is now at her current firm, and the role “in house” is low travel (some corporate related travel but unlike consulting not an “on the road” role) and would get her a lot of exposure to areas she’d never done before and wanted to grow into.
I’ve now moved on; this was one of those things where my gut was saying “not worth it” all along, and this was just confirmation. Thanks, all!
BB
Not travelling and being able to come home before 7 most nights is the reason pretty much ALL ex-consultants I know went in house. Sounds like this person wasn’t ready to make the move.
EB0220
No, people should expect a significant pay cut for a lateral move (or even a promotion) going from travel to non-travel. My husband is in a travel role and we’ve budgeted about 20% salary reduction if/when he moves to a non-travel role. The only time that may not hold true is for an in-company move or a more experienced consultant takes on a high-level management role.
Anon
I’m in technology (a technical person, not a lawyer and not in business) and I would not expect to go down in salary by moving from a consulting company to work for a company directly. The salary you are offering is not bad, but it’s not unrealistic for the applicant to get what they’re asking for with more searching. I work in a similar, maybe slightly higher COL area and received an offer from a consulting company that was about what you are offering, but I refused it because my company decided they would pay more. I honestly don’t know that any of my peers would be willing to go down in salary unless there were other circumstances in play, like they have a new baby and wanted to travel less.
anon
A thought – the rejection of the offer probably had nothing to do with whether it was market or not; it probably just wasn’t enough to make that person move. I’ve rejected offers that were perfectly fine from a market perspective, but they weren’t good enough to pull me away from a good situation.
Salary questions for young consultants
What’s weird is that she came to us proactively, not as a recruit. And she and HR SUPPOSEDLY had the discussion of salary. Who knows.
MJ
I second this–people test the waters all the time. This person dipped her toe in, thought about swimming, talked about swimming and then ultimately decided not to go for a dip. Might not have been the salary at all….
Sydney Bristow
I’m reading this horrifying yet interesting book called The Game by Neil Strauss about how he became a pickup artist. At one point he listed a bunch of movies that he studied to learn the alpha male body language (Rebel Without A Cause, Streetcar Named Desire, The Thomas Crown Affair with Pierce Brosnan, etc). That got me thinking. What movies or tv shows have a strong, respected woman who could be studied to learn powerful body language or style? Any ideas?
Em
Hmm – off the top of my head – CJ on the West Wing? Laura Roslin on BSG?
WSJ
I gravitate to police procedurals and the Lady Detective is a fairly stock character. Vintage Law & Order or L&O SVU, NYPD Blue, etc. Also, JAGC reruns if you can find them on cable.
Brit
I would agree with West Wing, especially in the later seasons.
Samantha
If we’re talking BSG, then why not Admiral Helena Cain? Strong powerful female figure (though she made some bad decisions).
Seattle Freeze
Also, Captain Janeway on Star Trek: Voyager.
JJ
I always default to Jessica Pearson in Suits. I love everything about her – style, body language, everything.
here, here
She is definitely my power-female role model.
Awful Lawful
Absolutely agree. And she always has the most beautiful dresses with subtle but interesting details. See also, Diane Lockhart from The Good Wife.
TXLawyer
I would definitely agree with Diane Lockhart from The Good Wife and would suggest Alicia Florrick from the same show as well.
Killer Kitten Heels
I want to be Diane Lockhart when I grow up.
Also would add Claire Underwood on House of Cards to the list.
Hildegarde
Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate isn’t really a strong or respected woman, but I do think her body language and particularly the way she speaks are assertive. I love the way she orders a martini the first time she and Benjamin meet at the hotel.
L
I like Claire from house of cards. She’s always in charge, even when she’s defaulting to someone else.
Kathryn
Oh god, reading a book on that topic would make my skin crawl. I just might have to!
Off the top of my head: Claire Underwood from House of Cards, Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. Samantha from S** in the City. I think Sloane in Ferris Beuller’s Day Off is awesome. I feel like Tyra Banks always seems really confident as well (sorry if these are perfunctory, I am so not good with movie media knowledge).
Sydney Bristow
It completely freaks me out but I got sucked into it. I heard Neil Strauss on a podcast and this was the first book of his available at the library. It is really intriguing but completely creepy at the same time.
These are great suggestions so far! I miss out on some of the shows since I don’t have cable. I especially love the CJ Craig and Rene Russo suggestions
Blonde Lawyer
I find it interesting because if you know the techniques you can recognize them in action and not get played. I haven’t read the book just some other blog posts that were totally unnerving but good to know.
cbackson
Actually, I think that Renee Russo in The Thomas Crown Affair is the awesomest alpha female ever. She’s the one I really remember from that movie (not Pierce Brosnan).
Good hair movie
I demanded that my stylist give me her haircut, despite a several-decades age gap. Unfortunately, she has way better hair than I do (but it’s nice to have something to aspire to). I have the movie. I have the Nina Simone song. LOVE TCA!
Hildegarde
I agree, and I also think she’s a good example of a woman who manages to pull off some fashiony looks in a work context without looking odd or unprofessional.
Anonymous
I was going to list her too! Leaving aside the sleeping-with-her-target, she’s in control.
Lynnet
Diane Lockhart on The Good Wife
Brunette Elle Woods
I just got into watching The Good Wife on Hulu and I love both Diane and Alicia! I’m very different from both of them, but they’re interesting to watch!
Anon
Kate Beckett – Castle.
M
Olivia Pope! It’s handled!
January
Probably only early Olivia Pope, though. The most recent season seemed to involve a lot of yelling and crying.
Wildkitten
Slate had a great article about the weird whisper yelling that consumed scandal.
Bug
Can you post a link? I cant find the article.
Anonymous
Eva Green in almost anything haha
Jenny
Both Rose McGowan and Glenn Close on Damages.
Also, I cannot think of another television show or movie that so completely passes the Bechdel test. It’s an incredible show about powerful, layered women lawyers.
Philanthropy Girl
I’m a sucker for the classics, and I think just about anything you’d find Katherine Hepburn in displays a pretty strong female character. She was a strong female in real life, and generally chose that type of character to portray in film.
Lynnet
Are there any special considerations I should take into account when applying to a position with a client? This isn’t a client that I do much work for (although I’ve assisted on a couple of their projects) or have any contact with. The job posting basically describes me, the position matches my career goals perfectly, and I know they’ve hired from our (small, very specialized) firm in the past. I’ve been very light at work for the last month, and for the last week I haven’t had more than 2-3 hours of billable work a day, so I don’t imagine my firm would be upset to find out I’m looking. I’d just like to know if there’s any etiquette I should follow in this situation.
Anon Worker Bee
Can you casually reach out to some of the other previous employees from your firm that made the switch and see how they approached it? This would be especially helpful if your firm has a non-complete clause that they had to work around. Or maybe there is someone currently at your firm that is familiar with the path those other employees took?
Lynnet
Unfortunately, those employees are now on the other side of the country, and my impression is that they may have left the company involuntarily during the worst of the recession. It was long enough ago that the only people currently at the firm who knew them are now partners. And I don’t trust any of the senior associates enough to ask them for more details. We don’t have a non-compete clause, so I’m not worried about that.
lawsuited
Even if they are on the other side of the country, I’d still contact them via email. They can ignore it if they want to, but in my experience people are often pretty happy to help with these kind of things. This is definitely a KYO situation, and those employees will be know your office and the office of the company you’re planning to apply to. The advice they can give you is much more valuable than the advice of anyone here will be.
Another Lawyer
I would think that the fact that they already hire your firm on matters means that you will likely have an advantage. However, there have been many, many jobs that I would have been perfect for, but I was not selected for an interview, so I think you should just apply to a bunch of places. In this economy, it is really hard for people to find in-house jobs as every posting is met with a flood of resumes.
locomotive
Despite some annoying characteristics, Kyra Sedgwick in the Closer is very assertive.
Anon
May be it is too late for this post of some one has posted it already. Indra Nooyi also says that women cannot have it all. Here is the link.
http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/07/why-pepsico-ceo-indra-k-nooyi-cant-have-it-all/373750/
From last few months I am feeling the heat (well..just beginning to feel the heat) where I am extremely conflicted about trying to start a family or pushing it one more year hoping to get a promotion (which I may not get if I take maternity leave for 4 months).
Another Lawyer
Then why wait? Seriously, it may take longer for you to conceive, especially if you are in your 30s, and I’m glad I didn’t wait a second longer before having my kids, even though they didn’t show up at the most opportune time (both times, I was less than a year into a new job so I wasn’t eligible for FMLA leave). Fine, I only took 12 weeks of leave each time, but I can’t say that the newly-minted partners who have their 1st child after making partner had any easier a go with it, especially since a) you are older and man, those night wakings are painful, and b) being a partner means more pressure, not less, and c) if taking your leave means you will be penalized for it, then better to know now who you are toiling and sweating for, right?
Anonattorney
I hate the “have it all” discussion. No one can have it all, either men or women. You can’t be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and also have time for your partner or family. You can, however, have a fulfilling successful career with a less prestigious company or field and still come home to your kids and husband every night. People just have to choose between having the MOST PRESTIGIOUS CAREER EVER or having a personal life.
Also, the “have it all” label is so stupid. I think plenty of women who are in less demanding careers would say that they have it all because they are stimulated and fulfilled by their job, and are able to spend time with their kids. What’s the point in (lots and lots of) money and prestige if you never have time to stop and enjoy it?
Two Cents
Just wanted to say that I am not plus size and LOVED this pick. Such a nice change to see a plus side model (who is gorgeous).
Shopping's My Cardio
Ooh, absolutely love this pick!! There aren’t nearly enough chic, figure-enhancing dresses for plus-size women, and this one is a dream. Well done :)
Anonymous
Word of warning : I own this dress in the non-plus size blue option, and the neckline becomes very very very not-work appropriate when you have a 34DD.