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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Readers have extolled the virtues of Talbots' Audrey sweaters — they're made from soft cashmere, hold up fantastically, are flattering, rarely have any pilling, etc., etc. Nice. They have a ton of solid colors, as well as a few limited sizes in a variety of prints. (OH, and: It comes in misses, petites, woman, and woman petites sizes.) It was $149, but is now available for $78 at Talbots. Talbots Cashmere Audrey Sweater
Seen a great piece youd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
(L-3)
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
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CPA Lady
I am such a Talbots sweater fan-girl. I’ve never tried their cashmere, but I have about 10 of their “charming cardigans”, and they are my favorites. I wear cardigans almost every day and they hold up far better than any other cardigans I’ve bought in recent years.
lucy stone
Charming cardigans are the best! I like them better than Lands’ End because the buttons on charming cardigan match in tone, whereas the LE ones are all white.
Their cashmere is pretty great, I have a few sweaters that are 5 years old and still look new.
hoola hoopa
Good to know!
Mavatx - Reweaving?
Reposting from the C. Wonder Thread – Does anyone out there have experience with re-weaving? I have a couple of loved sweaters with holes and wonder if it’s worth it. From the research I’ve done, it can be expensive but the result looks like new. I have such a hard time finding clothes that fit that I am tempted to save them even if it is $50 to save a sweater that cost me $75 four years ago.
If anyone has recs in the Boston area, I’d love them! I can only find one in the North End, and there is not much info online. It appears dry cleaning chains like Dependable offer the service but I wonder if it’s as detailed as a specialist. TIA!
SmartCasual
No help for Boston but every time I’ve done reweaving I’ve been pleased.
BB
No specific help from me, but I would stay away from dry cleaning chains for any tailoring/reweaving. You want someone who is exclusively a tailor/reweaver. Dry cleaners may hire whomever to be their “tailor,” whereas a tailor better be good if he/she wants to maintain their own tailoring business. I made that mistake once and went with a dry cleaners to get some jeans hemmed because hey, 10 bucks! Ended up ruining a pair of jeans. :(
TCFKAG
You could call Best Fit tailoring on Newbury Street to find out if they do this. They did some complicated alterations for me on a bridesmaid dress once and their work was excellent…though hecka expensive. Worth checking out though.
Bonnie
No recs but be careful if the hole is from a moth because there may be other holes that form.
Julia
I had a moth hole in a jacket re-woven. I looked online and went with withoutatrace.com. ( this was after I looked for someone in my medium sized city…to no avail.). They did a fabulous job, and it cost about $50. ( this was a year or two ago.). It seems it might be easier to do a sweater; maybe someone who was a good knitter could fix it? They recommend that you dry clean the garment before the work is done because there may still be larvae that could cause future damage.
Anon2
Beague’s Tailoring in the Court Street/BNY building basement.. Beague (“bo-jay”) is excellent. I don’t know if he reweaves, but he might…. he does everything else, and does it very, very well.
YouSaucyMinx
LOVE Talbots cashmere. I have a sweater I bought years ago that still looks brand new, and they have such a great selection of colord
Hong Kong? Tailoring?
I will be having a three-day postsailing time in Hong Kong at the end of March.
Does anyone have information on how the “personal tailoring” works there?
Recommendations for actual places? I only saw men’s tailoring in fodors.
How does the process work?
What should I expect for pricing?
Also, what about pearls? As a 30th anniv. gift, we’d be looking … I’d like the grey or black/blue ones, or maybe a ring?
We will be staying in the Kowloon area, if that helps.
Any other suggestions, advice, cautions would be helpful.
All the other days and locations will be ship-sponsored guided tours in Japan, Taiwan, and Shanghai, so I have fewer questions, I guess. Although weather ideas would be great. I know to pack along WC supplies all.the.time as we did in our Middle East adventures. Antarctica was another thing altogether; no WC ashore of course, but it was the best place I’ve ever been … including all 7 continents.
Many, many thanks. A new world for us!
2 Cents
(This is not meant to be snarky!) I know fodors or frommers also has a forum for questions and cruise critic does as well, and some of those people on those forums may have good suggestions too.
lucy stone
Definitely check out cruisecritic, a few people are a bit fussy but I’ve gotten excellent trip-planning ideas there.
Senior Attorney
+1 for Cruise Critic
They have forums for each port
Trixie
The fodors forums were always good for stuff like this, as are the destination boards on Flyertalk. And I picked up lovely pearls in Shanghai for a much better price than HK. You may do OK there, even if it’s a guided thing.
AMB
I was in Hong Kong for three days in October. I also considered getting a suit tailored but ended up not as to get it done in the time you have you’ll likely need to go back to the tailor every day, which could cut into your exploring time. However, Kowloon has the highest concentration of tailors so it may be more convenient for you than it was for me.
I bought pearls from both Stanley Market (south on the island) and in the Jade Market in Kowloon. I found Stanley a more pleasant experience as the Jade Market is a lot more aggressive (people will grab your elbow, if you pause at all to look at something you can anticipate the sell will start fast). However, I really like the necklace I got from the Jade market. I saw lots of grey pearls in both places, not so much black.
West Coast
I would recommend against the custom tailoring. From multiple experiences, it is just not great for women’s clothing. Men I know who had done it have had generally good results, with occasional bad experiences with quality of fabrication.
Any piece I had done:
-required multiple fittings after the initial measurement, at least 2. (implication: never a 3 day process) As mentioned above, it also meant that I had to structure my day to go to the tailor everyday, which was a pain.
-never looked ‘right’-there is a certain flow (?) that makes a good womens’ suit that they never quite got right. Best results came when I brought in pants that I wanted them to duplicate.
-the fabric was generally nice, but the construction / details are cheap. e.g. waistbands not well constructed, sleeve buttons were simply 3 buttons sewn on (not even faux holes to make it look real), lapels poorly fused and bubble easily.
-Never really ended up being something that I would want to wear regularly.
For what it’s worth, tailor make their margin on fabric, so they try to use as little as possible.
BB
+1 I lived in HK for 2 years and never got a fully-tailored suit. It’s not worth it (for women’s suits) unless you can spend a lot of time and money and basically have a couture suit. You will get much better results with a well-made off the rack suit and a great tailor to do alterations.
Jordan
I did custom tailoring with some girlfriends in Shanghai. My advice is don’t limit yourself to suits and barter. Also, make sure that you are okay to walk away if they will not reduce the price because the quality is just barely better than the Limited or JCrew.
I got a long cashmere black wool coat with a belt. All of the buttons have fallen off but I still love it. I love that it doesn’t have a tag. It’s lasted longer than my JCrew coats with respect to pockets, stitching etc. I have broad shoulders so I thought it would be nice to get something without having to buy up a size and take it in. It was about $25 I think? Initially I went to get a few suits and ended up getting a $10 dress (that fell apart but was great for the 3 times I wore it) and that coat.
My two girlfriends both got several suits and said ultimately it was not worth it. They are both pretty curvy but in different ways/areas so that was the appeal for them. I didn’t like the colors or material so I opted out of the suits.
That is the only nice experience that I have had with custom clothing. I had a few custom button downs made several years ago after receiving a gift card (with a U.S. company). I hate button downs but I thought maybe it was a fit issue. The shirts look great on my male colleagues. Not so much on me, even when tailored. Plus they were like $120+ a pop.
Field X and only X
Yesterday my boss, who has a history of lying, not showing up to meetings, picking fights with co-workers, etc., took me on a lunch meeting with a department head at another organization. Essentially my boss’s boss’s counterpart. When she introduced me, she introduced me as the X and Y girl. I only have knowledge and work in X field. Y field is growing exponentially in our market, and is the ‘new person/skill to have’. Y field however is very technical and deals with mathematical models that require skills that I do not possess, and cannot even really talk about intelligently. I do X well, and the fields are related, but I do not have Y field in my job title for a reason. She just sat there while I struggled to explain that I do not in fact work in Y to this fairly important person who got very very excited when he learned I worked in Y. I am new in my field, and would like to eventually transfer to Y field, as I have an underlying understanding of the math and statistics needed.
I am so angry and enraged to have been put in this position. I can’t even come up with words to describe how thrown under the bus I feel. Does anyone have suggestions for what to do? Am I wrong to feel this way?My mother said I should take offense at being called the ‘girl’ because I am young and new to the workforce, but I can’t even get over the first part to think about those implications. Comments/feedback of all variety are appreciated.
Idea
I think you are the Y person. You need to get trained in it. You’ve demonstrated the passion. You’re now the Y person.
Should you have been introduced as the Y person and asked to speak about your expertise? No, obviously. But now you’re the Y person. Do it. Own it.
Was everyone at this table a woman? It sounds like your boss is. Seems like the superior is a man? Just wondering, because it’s been studied that men and women have very different perspectives on stepping into positions that require experience – men think they will gain that experience on the job, no problem, hire me now, and women think they need the experience first, can’t apply, hire me later if ever. Think like a man with this one, not a girl.
roses
Ugh, sorry, but I think you are off-base all around here. I totally relate to OP; I also work in a field in which I deal with some aspects of a very highly technical skill, and have some knowledge of it, but I don’t have all of the knowledge of Y because it takes YEARS to develop. Not all skills can be mastered just by “owning it” and “faking it.” E.g., if you’re a cardiologist, you can’t just decide one day that you are going to wander into the OR and pick up some cardiac surgery skills.
As for OP, I’m sorry this happened to you, but are there any lasting consequences besides having a strained relationship with your boss/residual embarrassment? If not, I think you have to let it go, and hopefully you made your point clear to your boss that you are not Y. If you really wanted, you could use this opportunity though to go to your boss and say that you were taken aback that she called you the Y girl, but you’d like to learn more about it and was wondering if she knew of opportunities to improve your skills.
Senior Attorney
I agree with Idea. I can’t help but think that a man would have said something like “I’ve worked mainly in X so far but I am dying to get into Y. Do you have any ideas about the best way to get up to speed in Y quickly?”
Anon2
Yea, why would you sit and take that and not correct the statement? Your anger is misplaced.
anon
I dont see this as throwing you under the bus at all. She took you to a very important meeting and misspoke. You should just calmly say- “well not quite yet. But I am very interested in Y because A, B, and C, and am excited to start building my skill set in the area. Currently my work is focused on a,b, and c in area X”
Getting called girl is certaintly not great, but in context I don’t think was completely horrid or offensive. Really I see this as a huge overreaction on your part.
Anonymous
I agree with this sentiment, and in hindsight this is definitely the best reaction. But I can also see that her boss’s untruthful history would color the experience.
That said, it sounds like there’s no point in saying something. If you had an open relationship with your boss, that would be one thing. But because this person’s an a*hole, just chalk it up to another instance of having to deal with their a*holiness.
Anonymous
Yeah I think you’re wrong to feel enraged by your boss demonstrating confidence in you and talking you up to someone. You’re interested in y, you have the underlying skills to do y; just say “I’m mainly focused on x at the moment but have a great background for y and am really interested in taking on more of that role.”
mascot
smile “Boss perhaps overstates my expertise in Y. However, it’s a field that I am very interested in and I look forward to growing my skill set as the market expands, etc” It sounds like you have the skills and interest to become proficient in Y. Now you just have to project confidence as you build the experience. You may not be the top of the field in Y nationally. But, if you are the only one on a team that knows anything about Y, then you are the Y expert for that group.
Apples
I don’t understand why, when your boss said you are the “X and Y girl,” you didn’t just smile and say “Oh, only X actually” and move on?
snowy
I can relate to this. Especially if your boss does not at all understand technical field Y (which is the case with my boss). You definitely can’t fake knowledge of a technical field, especially if it’s something you’d need an additional degree in to be remotely competent. I wouldn’t agree with earlier posters that you should “own it” or “fake it til you make it”.
But I agree with others that this doesn’t quite constitute being thrown under the bus. Unless the other person simply wouldn’t let it drop and kept asking you all sorts of technical questions you couldn’t answer, and boss sat there going, “Yeah, OP, won’t you explain why hidden Markov models would be appropriate here?”
Lola
If you’re angry and enraged, you need to calm down! It was a miscommunication and is in no way throwing you under the bus – it actually gave you a venue to talk about yourself, explain your interests, and ask for support in achieving them. Your boss’s boss is still just a person who you can have a regular old conversation with, even if you are intimidated by their importance. Rather than looking for offense, you should take advantage of these opportunities. Being angry over things like this is only going to hurt you.
Lyssa
Those are really pretty. I haven’t been to Talbots in a while, but I know that they have the rep for being oversized/boxy, and I’m very small up top – is an XS likely to fit? (I’m usually XS or S in BR, AT, etc. sweaters, but I’ve encountered a few places where I’m just plain sized out).
Got a birthday coming up; would love to drop a hint to my husband.
Cat
Possibly – for reference I wear a S in the Audrey and wear a 34C or 36B. The sweater is snug across the chest but not so snug that it creates the dreaded ripples.
Anon
34C and love the way medium fits- kind of skims but not tight- so it probably just depends – i think it’s very flattering compared to some of my very boxy LE and pendleton sweaters
Anonymous
I tried this sweater. I normally find Talbots runs boxy but this is very fitted. Order a size up because this sweater will shrink after washing/dry cleaning. They are lovely so I did just order one.
tesyaa
I found a listing for a new Audrey size PP (the smallest size, I think) on eBay which gives the measurements as follows (I love measurements):
Measurements, taken flat across: armpit to armpit – 16″, length -22″, sleeve – 16.5″
anonymous
I just bought this sweater in the XS petite, and I found it a bit big cor me. I did not find advice about sizing up to be warranted, as I think it still runs big (although perhaps not as big as some talbots stuff) I’m always an XS petite/ 0, though, so I find myself sized out of many things. If you’re at least sometimes a small in some brands, I think their XS will probably be ok.
jwalk
For reference, I am 5’4”, 125 lbs, 32C, and I like my sweaters fitted but not tight-tight. I wear a P (petite) in this sweater, or I could do the XS in regular sizing, though it fits slightly larger. Talbot’s is (from my point of view, at least) RIDICULOUS with their vanity sizing, as are so many other mid- to high-range stores- it took me forever in that store to find something that would fit properly, because everything is cut so large that for it to fit me properly I would have to size down even further, but they don’t carry XXS or anything like that. The point of that rant is that you should really try it on in store before dropping hints, especially because, as I discovered after I had bought these sweaters, the sleeve is too short on me. I’m trying to stretch them out a bit with every wash, but just something to watch out for.
lawsuited
It’s -24 outside and as a result also pretty cold in our office, so I’m wearing a grey merino wool crew-neck cardigan and a black cashmere wrap while sitting at my desk. A partner walks into my office and says (angrily): “Good grief, do you need a blanket? Is everyone a baby around here?” I laughed it off, but good lord, I’m wearing professional but warm clothing because my productivity decreases when my teeth are chattering. Don’t you have some work to do?
TCFKAG
I’d reply – “Good grief, can we not afford to heat our office? Are you not generating enough business to pay the heating bills?”
Or well, I’d reply with that in my head. In real life, I’d smile politely and then roll my eyes when he leaves my office.
Bonnie
I like TCFKAG’s reply.
Miss Take
I really, really wouldn’t do this unless you want to piss that partner off.
TCFKAG
Well yes. This is why my snarkiness remains in my brain.
Monday
Men generally feel warmer than women, so he might just have seen a row of women in their offices bundled up but feel comfortable himself in his regular clothes. Bosses that willing to be rude often overlap with people who don’t think about anyone else’s needs. I’m sorry he started your morning this way.
TO Lawyer
I feel you. Not only is it freezing but I also run cold throughout the year. As a result, I get tons of comments about wearing long shawl cardigans (only when I have a day sitting and drafting and I want to be warm and cozy) or having my space heater on and my response is generally along the lines of I’d rather be warm and productive than cold and unproductive or at least I’m productive or something like that and it shuts them up.
LilyStudent
I find a layer over my legs and knees means I can have one fewer layer up top – and of course isn’t visible to anyone else. Could you try putting your wrap over your lap, so that you don’t ‘look’ as bundled up?
lawsuited
I hear ya, but my neck is so very cold! I don’t wear my shawl all wrapped around my shoulders and arms, I wear it as a scarf to keep my neck warm, because then, as if by magic, I am warm.
Blonde Lawyer
I was just having the same conversation with someone. If I keep my neck warm, I stay warm. Scarves FTW.
LilyStudent
Oh, I see! When you said ‘wrap’ I was picturing it around your shoulders and arms. Might it be worth getting a narrower one that’s more of a scarf, then? If you’re trying to avoid looking like you’re wearing a blanket, I mean.
Anon
Clearly your boss is rude and at -24, you do whatever you need to do to not freeze to death — especially in your own desk. But I find myself sartorially sided with men on wraps in the office. Just because it’s cashmere doesn’t mean it doesn’t look like a (very nice) blanket. Several women in my office bring wraps to meetings (which are in cold rooms) and no matter how nice the wrap, none that I’ve seen say “professional” to me. Unless it has sleeves, it looks like a blanket.
BC
I just pictured snuggies !?! Ha!
Ellen
Yay! I love Talbot Sweater’s and I love Cashemere, so I will look into getting a few, especialy b/c this time of year, turtelneck’s are the ONLEY way to go when you walk outside!
As for the OP, yes, women are often colder then men, b/c men have alot more meat on their bone’s and we are suposed to be svelte, but men do not care how big their tuchuses and beer gut’s are. It is in the winter that this doubel standard comes back to bite us in the tuchus, b/c we are cold and the guy’s with the big beer gut’s and tuchuses just say “what’s the probelem?”
If we lived in an equal society, men would have to get rid of their beer gut’s and tuchuses so that it is not our fault for everything. It is their big beer gut’s that often get in the way of a good personal experience that we all know so much about. FOOEY! Perhaps my Alan would have been more effective downstair’s even tho he was also drunk half the time. It is so unfair that we ladies have had to take the blame for their shortcomeings in that department. DOUBEL FOOEY!
lawsuited
I hate to disillusion you, Ellen, but there is plenty of meat on these bones :P
Apples
No advice, just an anecdote: I had a boss (attorney) fire a paralegal on the spot because she was wearing a “blanket” at the office and “didn’t look professional.” She was actually wearing a very stylish (at the time) poncho, in an office where yoga pants were acceptable on paralegals. Yikes!
Senior Attorney
Two words: Space heater. I couldn’t live without mine.
SuziStockbroker
Mine, and my humidifier, are both blasting away.
My husband bought both for me as Christmas gifts over a couple of years.
Inexpensive gifts, but sooooo practical and appreciated.
kellyandthen
I took the advice here to get a heating pad instead and today, I sat on it for 3 hours–BEST THREE HOURS EVER. Warmer, quieter (silent, actually), and safer than a space heater.
Senior Attorney
That? Is genius!
Jordan
“It’s only temporary. I am waiting on a reply from HR on the indoor campfire policy around here.”
“It’s either look at this blanket or hear teeth chattering and frankly our dental plan isn’t that great.”
Or take the kiss butt approach: “You are lucky to be so warm-blooded!”
and F him! You aren’t complaining. You have a blanket and are at work. STFU doosh
Meg Murry
This is really pretty, and I’d like to put it on my list of things to upgrade to, once I clean out my closet a little bit. Especially today when I realized I didn’t have any wool/cashmere sweaters that fit or were in good shape and its a windchill of -20 out. But its only 3/4 sleeves. Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a warm sweater? And isn’t that one of the reasons to buy cashmere – warmth as well as softness? Or is this more of an early season sweater?
I’ve gotten used to 3/4 sleeves in my spring/fall clothes – but in winter, I need long sleeves. Usually 2-3 layers of them.
Anon
Agree, I love the fit but to me it is not something to wear on a very cold day. The 3/4 sleeves are kind of short on me and the weave was a little thin. I love mine but wish they also had a long sleeve, also that someone made a thicker version that fits as well!
Lyssa
I went to the s!te and it looks like they have some long-sleeved options as well (and let you search by sleeve-length, which I love). I agree, 3/4 sleeve defeats the purpose of a nice sweater, IMO.
anne-on
Shopping help! I need an interview suit, grey or navy is my preference, and preferably a skirt suit, or a sheath with a blazer but I’m finding most places are either sold out, or totally picked over. I’m about a size 2/4 in Brooks Brothers, 2 in Jcrew though I haven’t loved JCrew quality for suiting lately. I’d prefer not to go with Theory as I’d like something lined, and Talbots has been a bit too boxy for me in the past. Willing to spend on Boss, but can’t seem to find any matching suiting pieces in sedate colors. Thank you all!
First Year Anon
Check out Elie Tahari
TCFKAG
Have you checked out Classiques Entier at Nordstroms? I recently helped a friend shop for an interview suit and was really impressed with Classiques suits and the sale suits weren’t wildly expensive. Worth checking out.
Lola
Reiss has a couple grey/tan skirt suits that I’ve been eyeing. I really like how their clothing is cut. Not sure about their sizing, though – they’re having a big sale, though Bloomingdales also carries them if you like something and it’s sold out.
Bonnie
Boss has a grey suit at Nordstrom in your size.
anne-on
Thanks all – checking these out!
Jen
The Limited! I have their suiting collection suits in the sheath+blazer combination in multiple colors. The navy looks very polished and I get compliments every time I wear them.
Framing Posters Question
Does anyone know of an online company that can print and frame an image I have as a poster for me? I want to send this to a friend. I’ve tried Etsy but I couldn’t find anything (I find that site confusing so maybe it’s there and I didn’t find it).
TCFKAG
If you search “custom poster” on Etsy you’ll find some options and I think some of them will print for you. My suggestion though would be to take the photo to Kinkos or one of the other printing places and get an enlarged poster printed (your image will have to be high enough quality to be enlarged) and then either get it professionally framed or go to an art store or somewhere to buy a frame. That’s probably going to be by far your most cost effective option.
Framing Posters Question
Thanks for the advice!
I would do that, but I live in a foreign country so shipping might make it more expensive. I guess I will have to weigh my options!
Cat
A friend just posted on fb yesterday about Framebridge – https://www.framebridge.com/startframing?nan_pid=1816056133
Framing Posters Question
Wonderful thank you!
nutella
i think art dot come has this service
Senior Attorney
Walgreen’s, of all places, does a good job with this. And make sure you google around for a discount code because they are always running specials.
Framing Posters Question
I will definitely check them out thanks!
Bonnie
You could also send the image to one of the many places that will enlarge it and turn it into a canvas. Living social dot com always has discount deals for this if you search for canvas.
Manageress
For a number of personal reasons (e.g., exhaustion, burnout, suspected depression, low s**ual motivation and drive), I’m thinking of going to a therapist for the first time. Been married for 7 years with a toddler, working full-time as a consultant. Work is crazy all the time and marriage, while generally solid, has been somewhat blah recently. Am resolved to invest in myself this year…starting with therapy.
I scoured the this-site archives and found the following recommendations in the DC-NOVA area. Would you guys in the area recommend any one of these therapists? Anyone else I should consider? Other advice you would give on seeking therapy for the first time?
XOXO Therapy in Dupont
Ashley Seeger
Elizabeth in Caring Couples in McLean
Thank you!
Senior Attorney
I’m not in DC so can’t help there, but I just want to give you a big ol’ high five for getting the help you need! My best advice is to keep looking until you find somebody with whom you really click. If the first person doesn’t seem like a good fit after a few sessions, keep looking. It’s worth the work to find the right person. Also, although a lot of women like to see a woman therapist, my beloved Dr. Shrink is a man and I’ve found it really helpful over the years to have a male perspective on things. So I wouldn’t dismiss male therapists out of hand.
roses
I have seen Ashley Seeger for premarital counseling, and she is lovely. Highly recommend her.
2 Cents
Psychology Today allows providers to place ads talking about their practice. It might help you decide. I’ve used it to choose my last couple of therapists (I changed because I moved).
Anonymous
I saw elizabeth for two years before i moved. I really, really, really like her and would recommend her. It is steep pricing but for me was worth it. I usually maxed out my FSA and used that.
Moving to DC
I know there are a lot of y’all in DC – I’m wondering if anyone has any advice/experience apartment hunting from a distance in DC? I’m moving in late April/early May for a two year position, I know the rental market can be extremely competitive, and I have very little flexibility to take off time to apartment hunt ahead of time. I’ve looked a little at craigslist to get a sense of what I need to be budgeting for, and I’m a little worried at how everything seems to be furnished, short-term, and inhabited by students. My specific questions: (1) Did anyone use a service/broker, or can you recommend one; (2) Is it unrealistic to expect to be able to sign a 2 year lease; and (3) how far in advance were you able to get a place; and (4) does anyone have success stories to share about leasing from smaller landlords from a distance.
Also, I lived in DC for a few months 6-7 years ago so I have an outdated sense of which neighborhoods are fun/busy/safe. What are your favorite neighborhoods? I’m single and late twenty-something and thinking Woodley Park, Columbia Heights, or Eastern Market areas. Work will be downtown so something on the Blue/Orange/Red lines would be ideal.
Thank you!
anon a mouse
Will you be able to come for a short visit to look at things? It’s very much an in-person market. The rental market is still tight – you will have a harder time with small landlords from a distance. You will have better luck with a large apartment company but you may pay more (though a few are starting to offer concessions).
You may also want to try to get a short-term place for a few months rather than be locked into somewhere you don’t like for 2 years. Most buildings will let you go month-to-month (for a fee) after a lease expires, so you wouldn’t be stuck for the last few months of your job. Some larger companies will do nonstandard lease terms like an 18-month lease. It’s not really a broker market that I can tell.
The single 20-somethings in my office are all flocking to Shaw, Bloomingdale, and Columbia Heights, FWIW. And if they don’t want to be in DC proper, Clarendon/Ballston.
A Nonny Moose
I’m surprised that is all you are finding. Are you just looking on craigslist? Try apartments dot com and look into a large, professionally managed building. I don’t think a two year lease is unreasonable and in fact you’re more likely to get rent specials by wanting to sign longer. If you’re late 20-something I would add northern VA to your list (the first few stops out from DC on blue and orange), as it is less expensive, there are fewer students, and honestly the commute to downtown is much faster than it is from Shaw/Columbia heights, especially if your office isn’t on yellow/green line. If you’re going to work downtown, I think it’s less important to also live right in the city, because you can easily hit up HH and such right after work.
kellyandthen
Agreed on the professionally managed building–I was searching from afar this time last year and we ended up with one of the large management companies, just over the line in MD (but they have plenty within your criteria). It was practically painless.
We found our specific building through Zillow’s rentals search and friends who did walk-bys for us.
roses
Try looking at the Rental section on PoPVille. You’ll see a lot of longer-term places there, and the forums are helpful too. But I don’t think you want to sign a two year lease, even if you can find someone willing to sign one for that long – you just never know if there are going to be significant changes either to the building, neighborhood, or in your life that could change your plans.
Columbia Heights is the only area on your list I’d recommend for a single late twenty-something person. I’d consider U St (if you can afford it), Shaw, and NoMa if you want to be near a metro.
Moving to DC
Thanks! I hadn’t heard about PoPVille. And good point about leases. I’ve just been a condo owner for 3 years and moving is my personal nightmare. But I live in a fairly staid Midwestern city where neighborhoods don’t shift like they do in DC.
anon
I am very surprised by what you are finding- I live in DC and am apartment hunting too and that’s not what I am seeing at all. I think you will have a much easier time apartment hunting from a distance with a big building- you get to see the floor plans, pictures, and read reviews. Unless you have someone who can visit places for you, I just don’t see you being able to compete with the smaller places- they go fast. Woodley is nice but quiet (which I like) Shaw is the it new place but hard to get to. Woodley, Cleveland Park, and Van Ness Tenleytown are all much quieter but easy access to redline. Whats your budget and what are you looking for in a place? Also you can sign a two year lease with a building but only do that if they give you a rent discount- they have to give you the option of resigning/going month to month after a year anyway. I think in DC a shorter lease is usually better
Moving to DC
Thanks! This is exactly the info I’m looking for. My wish list is pretty small – at least 450 sq. ft., unfurnished, and a little bit of counter space in the kitchen. I’m flexible on a studio or 1-bedroom. Budget is around $1450-1800, depending on how utilities inclusive a place is. How quiet is VanNess/Tenleytown? I like relatively quiet, but I’d like to be within walking distance of a few restaurants, bars, etc.
anon
If you are near the metro/ Conneticut I think youll be fine- there is def a few bars and restaurants in Van Ness. Tenley town is more quiet I think- but there is a Mexican food place, a whole foods, and a bar I like there.
Here are two near me- Keener Management has a pretty good reputation and Ive always liked this building
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/apa/4836277658.html
This one is small but in a beautiful building. http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/apa/4836342456.html
kellyandthen
Oh, the Kennedy Warren is so gorgeous. Whenever I walk/drive by…drool.
kellyandthen
I think you’d be able to find this, easily, in Tenley and Van Ness, or Cleveland Park (just down Connecticut, but with more do to/walk to).
BellaDC
I live in a wonderful condo building in SW DC in walking distance of all the metro lines but red. There is generally a studio being rented out in the building every month or so in your budget. The building has a gym, doorman, small pool, and a community room.
I found mine through craigslist. I can help with my building, if you’re interested. Good luck!
Em
I think it depends on the vibe you want. I live in Mt. Pleasant on the edge of Columbia Heights and love it. It feels like a real neighborhood rather than just big apartment buildings with 20 somethings. (Also, I take the bus in, which is quick and easy and I always get a seat – every time I take Metro in the morning I thank God I don’t have to do so every day.)
I have a lot of friends who live in NoVa and they love it but it’s not for me. But if you want big, professionally managed buildings and like the character of the area, it could work for you. Ditto NoMa.
Eastern Market, on the other hand, is another place that feels more neighborhood-y to me. I’m a fan.
anon
Nothing is in NoMa yet- I would def not recommend it.
Em
Eh, but if what you want it a swanky, brand new apartment close to work, it is fine.
kc
I worked with a smaller landlord by finding a place on craigslist, but I was able to see the apartment the next day and gave him a check on the spot. We have a landlord who owns 2 units right now but works through a realtor since he’s overseas, and we found that apartment on trulia (try trulia or zillow and just choose the rent option). 2 weeks before your visit, I would arrange a bunch of showings. You usually start looking 6 weeks out from your move date around here for smaller landlords, farther out if you are using a big apartment complex that knows what units will be vacant in the future. A 2 year lease is not unreasonable at all, just depends on the company/landlord. Could you move here and get a short term place (like 1-2 months) and then look in person?
Moving to DC
Thanks for the timeline info. And yes, that might be an option. I’m trying to rent out my condo in my home state as well and the longer it serves as a personal storage unit, the more double housing payments I make, ha.
BigMac
+1 to NOVA. In regards to NOVA, the Ballston/Clarendon area has a strong”frat daddy” feel to it, IMHO. The majority of the late 20s, single, professionals that I know live in the Crystal City/Pentagon City area. Commuting from this area to downtown is a breeze, and much quicker than commuting from many areas of DC. Personally, I love the Old town area but it can be pricey and metro accessibility could be lacking, depending on where you are. If you are set on DC, along the 14th street corridor seems to be a popular place. Craigslist and Padmapper are two great resources, but I think it is critical to see a place in person before renting.
Moving to DC
Good to know re: Ballston/Clarendon. Has the Crystal City area developed any local character? 6-7 years ago the area around the mall felt very corporate/characterless rather than like a neighborhood.
Lola
Crystal City still kind of shuts down after the workday, in my experience. Though maybe I’m just not in the right parts.
BigMac
It is my understanding that Crystal City has become a lot more residential in the recent years–there was an article about it today in the Post, although I can’t find the link to it from my phone. I’ll look for it when I return to my computer. In my experience, the south end of Crystal Drive has a good amount of activity after work hours, although it wanes in the winter months. The pentagon city area, particularly pentagon row, has a lot of activity year around. I live on the northern end of Crystal city and love it. It’s relatively quiet and close to a great park, but I’m still within walking distance of restaurants, shopping, and pentagon row.
A Nonny Moose
I think it is an up and coming area. The Business improvement district has poured money into crystal city and they have a lot of events during the week to try to get the people who work in the neighborhood to stick around. Think weekly outdoor movies, farmers markers, and lots of drinking events (wine in the park with live music, “pups and pilsners” (drink beer with dogs!), and such. Several non-chain restaurants have opened and more are lined up for the near future. Several new apartment buildings are doing up in Pentagon City, and one will have a whole foods.
BigMac
A Whole Foods in Pentagon City?! I had not heard this. Thanks for making my day!!
L
Whole Foods is going up in 2016; it’s going to be a block from Costco. Oh, the traffic to come….
Moving to DC
This sounds awesome. Pups and pilsners is basically my dream weekend afternoon.
Anonymous
Pentagon City is lovely (though I’m biased) I’ve lived there for 6+ years now. The largest downside is now with the Silver line, Blue trains are scarce. So if you can commute via yellow you’re good to go.
In terms of going out, plenty of bars/restaurants but they tend towards more chains though this is changing. Personally, I like it because I’m not far from the city, so I can go ‘out’ when I want, but I don’t have bar goers crawling all over my doorstep.
lurkyloo
I lived in Crystal City last year (moved in August to be closer to work) and liked the vibe – it’s a small area, but the local development is working hard on making it feel like a neighborhood (i.e. the beer fests, wine fests – there’s a bi-annual 1k wine walk in the underground shops – farmer’s markets, and so on). The bar and restaurant scene is pretty good, too, especially down by 23rd Street. The building I was in was full of young professionals, as well as some families. I will say that most of the apartment buildings along Crystal Drive are a bit older, which is fantastic in terms of construction (I never heard my neighbors) but they do feel a lot less up-to-date.
Anonymous
Reported by accident, sorry.
LilyB86
Guys, I need some help figuring out what to take with me to an upcoming weekend trip to Miami. Here is the itinerary:
Friday night: dinner and bars (Brickell)
Saturday: beach
Saturday night: dinner and club(s) (South Beach)
Sunday: brunch and beach
I’m 28. I have an okay figure but cannot get away with extreme cut-outs or crop-tops. My best asset are my b**bs and legs, probably. I’m a fairly conservative dresser but my main concern is fitting in in Miami and not feeling like I’m too covered up. I’m going with my bf so obviously I want to look good. What do I wear?
I recently bought a Rebecca Minkoff dress that I feared I would have no where to wear but it might be perfect. Link to follow (but mine is black and white, and a little above my knee). Is this appropriate for Saturday night clubbing? What shoes?
And what about Friday night when we go out to bars? A friend here in the northeast told me to wear shorts, wedge heels and top but that sounds off to me. Thoughts? Any specific suggestions would be most welcome.
Lastly, what to wear to the beach over my bathing suit?
LilyB86
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/rebecca-minkoff-clarissa-colorblock-bustier-dress/3449532
Anon
I go to FL/Miami often. I would wear shorts (black shorts would be cute), a cute tank/going out top, and your heels or wedges of choice.
That dress could be cool for Miami! I would wear it to dinner.
What to wear over your bathing suit? I guess it depends on how cute you want it to be. I usually just throw a casual tshirt over my suit but maybe a cute sundress (cotton so it’s easy to wash) would be good.
snowy
You can get away with a lot in Miami, fashion-wise. I think that dress would definitely be fine for a club; for bars, you certainly could wear the shorts and dressy top as suggested. A cute jumpsuit or romper would also be fun.
I also bring tons of maxi dresses on beach trips because they’re great for lounging and brunch.
LilyStudent
For over my bathing suit I generally wear a loose top (try H&M) and chino shorts.
frustrated
A few months ago, I had a bilateral mastectomy and I have not been without complications. Last week, an infection led to me losing what reconstruction had been done on the right side. I had surgery Monday, worked from hospital/home on Tuesday and was back in the office yesterday because it feels good to be busy and it keeps my mind off how sad and depressed I’m really becoming over this. I feel like a shell of the person I was before this infection.
My team is small and most know what’s been going on and I know they’re trying to be kind, but they keep telling me that “b**bs are overrated” and the like. Which I get, but as an unmarried, late-20s woman, I’m really struggling with this.
Maybe it’s my fault for letting these conversations happen, but how do I politely shut these conversations down now, especially when it’s coming from people who are higher ranking than I am?
Senior Attorney
Gah. I’m so sorry. How about “I’m appreciate your support but I just can’t talk about it right now.”
Diana Barry
+1. So sorry!
SuziStockbroker
This is what I would suggest too.
Sorry you are going through this.
Toffee
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Depends on your personality. Either directly say “they mean a lot to me” or indirectly send out an email requesting some space and understanding at this time. Explain you’re there to keep your mind off things and would prefer no further comments, although you do understand their intentions to be supportive.
Miss Take
While I think it’s tasteless and insensitive, at best, of them to make your struggle all about boobs, I think they’re attempting (and I mean attempting, because it’s not funny) humor because they’re uncomfortable and/or don’t know what to say, and are trying to lighten the mood.
None of that changes the fact that boobs or not, you’ve had major surgery, which is a b!tch. None of that changes the fact that post-surgery infection is also a b!tch. What you’re going through is about more than just a body part. Hugs.
Apples
I think I’d pull a Miss Manners here and just give these comments a surprised/skeptical raised eyebrow and change the subject. Best wishes for your recovery.
Wildkitten
Except that, to me, it genuinely sounds like they are trying to be nice and positive and are just saying all the wrong things. The Miss Manners eyebrow seems punitive to people who are actively trying to be supportive.
I don’t have the answer, I just feel for everyone in this situation.
Miss Take
But their attempts are failures. They’re actually being reductive and dismissive, which is hurtful. It’s not punitive to let them know they’re being hurtful.
snowy
That’s awful. I really hope that’s not MEN saying that to you. If it’s women, I agree with an earlier poster that I guess they’re trying to be funny/supportive in their own way. I also understand how it’s hard in the moment (or even at all) to respond to someone’s face when they say something hurtful. If you feel comfortable saying anything at all, an email is probably best – “Hi team, I am really happy to be back at work to take my mind off things, but do know that it’s still a struggle every day to come to terms with my surgery and this infection setback is not helping! Thanks for your understanding during this time.”
I’ve had friends who’ve had reconstruction and it is just awful even without infections. Hang in there!!
Another anon
That sucks. I’m four weeks post-reconstruction after an Aug mastectomy, and can only imagine what you’re going through. I don’t have any really good advice the other posters haven’t already hit, just a lot of sympathy. One random thought: Could you pull aside one trusted team member who has good interpersonal skills and tell them that while you really appreciate the support, it’s a tough time right now and it would be most helpful if folks just didn’t mention it at all for awhile – you need to mentally adjust to the change in expected outcome and would prefer to just focus on work at the moment – and ask that person to pass the word as nicely as possible?
Carrie...
I’m so sorry to hear about what you have been going through.
Do you have a good source of support outside of work? Then I would strongly recommend venting primarily to this safe support, and try to have work become an “escape” where you don’t bring up your surgeries. I know… easier said then done.
And I strongly recommend looking around for a peer support group. It is huge to even be able to speak with one person who truly understands.
But in scenarios that you describe at work, where you get a response that is trying to be “helpful”, I’ve found that sometimes a simple short response like…. “Ouch…” can be quite effective. And then if you can, say “excuse me…” and walk away to give yourself some space. If people try to explain, keep talking, just wave your hand gently, and add “thank you for your support”.
Honestly, most people do mean well, and do not have any idea how powerful their words can be.
I’m so sorry.
L-girl
Hi everyone. I’m a first year associate in Biglaw heading to my first trial. I’ll be in Florida for 2 to 3 months. I’m from the (currently frigid) Midwest and have never been to Florida or stayed in a hotel for more than two weeks. Any advice on packing for the trip? I can ship as much stuff down as I need. I’m pretty sure I sent half my closet down already but I just want to make sure that I’m not forgetting any special items that would make living in a hotel or being at trial for that long a bit more comfortable.
Any packing advice? Thanks!
Senior Attorney
If you can really ship as much stuff as you want, how about taking the pillow from your bed? That would make it feel a lot more like home.
Long trials
I just got back from a trial that lasted 2 months in a city far from home.
A few things. A Jawbone Jambox (blue tooth speakers for my iphone) so I could listen to music in my room sometimes. This made my room feel more homey. Some clothes you can wear to a nice-ish restaurant that are not the same clothes you’re wearing to trial constantly. This was a huge gap in my wardrobe. I had several pretty casual outfits and plenty of trial outfits, but I had to recycle the same shirt every week if we went to a nicer restaurant. Also, if you’re going to be in the courtroom but not in a comfortable chair, get some sort of cushion. Those wooden pews get super uncomfortable after about 30 minutes. Then you start to dread sitting there day after day…
Also congratulations! What a fun experience!
Gail the Goldfish
This is going to be completely counter-intuitive, but pack some warm clothes. Most of our trials are in Florida, and they really, really love their air conditioning. The offices and court rooms are always freezing.
Anon
Can’t speak to trial specifically, only extended hotel stays.
I hope you’re in an extended stay hotel (ie with a kitchen/kitchenette)- if you are, and you have a favorite coffeepot/teapot/wine opener, bring it. Slippers/bathrobe, all specialty toiletries, photos from home (may be overkill, depends on your personality and who you are leaving behind), If you’ll be working a lot from the hotel on a computer and your company doesn’t do it automatically, you might want to ship a monitor down to have–or buy one. If you don’t already travel with your own hairdryer you’ll want one- I lose patience with hotel hairdryers after a few days.
Apples
Bathrobe and slippers, your favorite coffee mug, travel coffee mug, a door mat (for inside your hotel room door) so you aren’t constantly tracking in dirt (who knows how well the carpet is cleaned), lysol wipes, your favorite throw blanket for relaxing on the couch, framed picture of your family/so/cat/whomever
Blonde Lawyer
I wouldn’t do this as a First Year but I was recently talking to a very senior lawyer from a big firm who spends most of her time traveling. She brings her cat if she is going to be gone more than a week! Apparently a lot of the major hotel chains are pet friendly, her cat is her carry on and he’s cool w/ the travel. I thought it was kind of genius. I wouldn’t want to leave a dog in a hotel room all day but a cat wouldn’t care one bit. Probably works out to the same added cost as a petsitter / boarding. In her job I probably would have just thought “oh, I can never have a pet.”
LilyStudent
I was in a different city for three months this summer, of which the last week was a hotel (with no cooking facilities). For me, my ‘must haves’ were my favourite brand of peanut butter and hot chocolate sachets, especially if you’ve no cooking facilities. I would buy a cheap-ish hairdryer while there and donate it to a shelter before returning home.
I also made sure to check I had three months’ life of my ‘standard face’ of makeup before I left, so that I wouldn’t be dealing with empties etc.
anon a mouse
Take a Chromecast to be able to broadcast stuff from your computer to the television and not have to watch stuff on a computer. (Assuming you will have any short periods to zone out.)
Been There
If you bring a Chromecast and plan on using most major chain hotel’s wifi, you will probably end up needed a hotspot or your own router – you can just buy a travel router at Best Buy once you get there. There are other things you can do like sharing a MAC address, but it’s easier to have your own router if you aren’t tech-savvy.
Also, a lot of hotels disable the HDMI ports on their TVs – there are a few ways to re-enable it, one is to look for a phone jack-like thing on the tv and unplug it (sometimes you can call someone from hotel maintenance to do this if it is inaccessible, other times they will tell you to go fly a kite). Some hotels even epoxy the ports so you can’t use them. Sometimes, there is no way to switch the input source on your tv, so you will have to go to Best Buy and get a universal remote (or attempt to borrow one from the lobby or fitness room or somewhere else in the hotel).
but of course, sometimes it just works.
Lola
Bring your pillow and don’t forget your workout clothes. Also helpful: extra socks, because walking around your hotel room barefoot is kind of gross, and if you are picky about coffee bring your own and an aeropress. If you are at an extended stay, they will buy groceries for you / provide everything kitchen-wise. I think you will be surprised how easy it is to live in a hotel and how few things you actually need.
L-girl
Thank you all so much for the great advice! I missed a lot of these things and will desperately be packing another box tonight. I was so focused on packing my clothes that I didn’t think too much about electronics beyond my Ipad, Kindle, and laptop.
It’s not an extended stay hotel so I don’t think there’s much of a kitchen area.
And for the person who mentioned bringing a cat–I love that story! I wish I could bring by 60 pound dog but I doubt he’ll enjoy staying in the hotel all day long. I’ll probably miss my fur baby even more than my husband. Or at least it will be a tie!
L
If you want to be totally nuts (which I myself am) you can see if you can get a mini fridge and a microwave put in your room. You can do a ton with that. Pack a few microwavable bowls and get some soup, egg beaters (easy to microwave into an omelet wo giving yourself food poisoning), yogurt, fresh fruit/veg and sandwich stuff. Also, I’d pack an emergency ‘stomach’ kit because eating out for months on end can wreak havoc and you don’t want to need meds and have to run out in the middle of the night in a strange area.
Senior Attorney
I would totally do that.
Bossy Anon
Any tips for dealing with people at work who are “thinkers” and not “doers”? Or unofficially managing coworkers at the same level as you? I’m on a project team with two coworkers and whenever we discuss the project we have great brainstorm sessions but nothing gets accomplished. I’ve attempted to take the lead and give clear directives after each meeting and recap what everyone’s action list is but progress is slow. Also heard indirectly of complaints from one of these coworkers on how bossy I am. There is no clear team leader, as each of us are from a different department and only collaborate on this. I’m hesitant to go to my boss who is a SVP for advice and would prefer to handle it myself to prove my leadership skills. Maybe I’m just venting but any advice is appreciated!!!!
Miss Take
Most men I’ve known consider themselves “the Idea Man.” #YesAllMen
If you need to put on the bossy pants and give them assignments because that’s the only way to get stuff done, I suggest you (1) keep doing that, (2) cultivate a deeper ability to laugh at them behind their backs because they clearly have inflated opinions of themselves and deserve to be laughed at for it.
Gob Bluth
“I’m an ideas man, Michael!”
Apples
How do you know the coworkers are men?
Clementine
What I’ve done with this is make an ‘Action List’ or ‘Next Steps’ list in the brainstorming meeting. I’ve worked with coworkers to frame it in a brainstorming session as ‘what are our next steps’ and then make a list and assign different team members specific tasks and deadlines.
Moonstone
When everyone is equal and from different departments, I recommend phrasing like “OK, so we agree we need to do (Step 2). Who is the right person to take care of this ? (Wait for response.) And when do you think that will be complete? (Let him assign himself a deadline.) OK, so I’ll make a note that we’ll get an update on Step 2 at the meeting after that deadline.” If you are not the team leader, you have to make it sound like a collaboration because you don’t have the authority to assign. If you can take on the first action item yourself and say, “Well, Step 1 is clearly on my plate. I’ll take care of it by Jan. 29” you are modeling what you need from the others.
Wildkitten
And make sure they don’t always respond “Oh Bossy you should do that one.”
Meg Murry
Yes. Don’t leave the meeting until these have been established. Also, do these meetings have agendas, or are they just brainstorming sessions? I’d start with making a basic agenda, like:
1) What has been accomplished since last meeting?
2) What is still in process since last meeting, and any roadblocks
3) Brainstorming
4) Prioritize ideas developed during brainstorming
5) Compile action items for next meeting.
And if necessary, assign times to it – such as, “ok, we have to stop brainstorming with 20 minutes left in the meeting so we can make sure we get to the action items.”
lawsuited
Read the 5 Dysfunctions of a Team, and get the fieldwork book. It has great, great ideas that are easy to implement. We did a workshop using the fieldwork book because my group was having major issues ranging from communication to productivity, and it completely transformed the group. It was either those books or divine intervention, but it felt like a miracle.
snowy
Gantt charts with people’s names assigned as resources to specific tasks and timelines. Only way things get done.
I wouldn’t bring it up to your boss, since you’re all equals, he/she would likely say, I don’t care what the problems are, finish this project by X date. You guys figure it out.
In the end someone has to step up and manage the project. This has been my experience for years.
Lola
After meetings like that I email out a list of actions and ask for input on what they think the deadlines/schedule should be like (which I provide my guesstimate of in the email). No one usually provides deadline input, so we use mine. I will also sometimes say, during the meetings, that I’m putting together notes and will send them out, unless someone else wants to take point on it. Nobody ever does. I’m bossy, but they have their opportunities to step up if they really want.
It might also help to establish hard deadlines that you have to meet. I think a challenge in these situations is when there isn’t anyone to answer to, there are no important milestones or hard deadlines, and everyone has more important work, so it’s easy to get pushed off. Sometimes it makes sense for things to take forever, depending on your org.
Review Q
Question for the Hive:
I have my first review today. I’m an associate at a small firm and have been here only for 5 months. Based on the feedback I’ve received so far, I expect my review will go well. In another five months, I’ll be leaving the firm to take a different, temporary position, with the plan being to return to the firm afterwards. This temporary position has already been approved by the firm–they know I’m going, and they know I’m planning on coming back. The temporary position will result in a substantial pay bump, and I do not want to take a pay decrease when I eventually return to the firm. My q is this: is today’s review a good time to raise that issue? Or should I just wait to negotiate until it’s time for me to come back? This is my first review ever, so I don’t really know what to expect, and I’ve never negotiated pay before. Thanks in advance!
Apples
Why you would expect your firm to be flexible enough to “loan” you to another job, and in return have to pay you more when you get back? Sorry but this is unreasonable. You can negotiate a raise (based on your current salary) but not based on your salary at another job.
Review Q
I would expect them to pay me more than they are paying me now based on the experience that I will gain at the two-year temporary position (which is relatively presitigious). I’m not asking to be paid more right now based on this future salary; just wondering when a good time to start negotiating is in order to be paid more when I return. Sounds like you think it’s after I actually have gained the additional experience, which makes sense.
Apples
I think it makes more sense to ask for a raise at your review which would be in effect for the next five months. Then when you return, you can renegotiate based on the experience you’ve gained — not based on the higher salary you had while you were gone. Seems to me you are quite lucky to have a firm hold a position for your for two years (I would not be surprised they would do this if you were leaving for a clerkship, but it is hard to imagine a clerkship paying you significantly more than a firm so it sounds like this is not the case).
Review Q
Yes, I do feel quite lucky. It is a clerkship. I’m at a small firm in a small town, so a federal clerkship will provide a significant pay bump. My firm does not pay as well as others in town, but there are tradeoffs (some semblance of work/life balance, for one.) Thanks for your responses.
Diana Barry
+1, but I wouldn’t be too aggressive about it since it is INCREDIBLY GREAT to have them hold the job for you for TWO YEARS from now.
Anonymous
I would wait to negotiate until you discuss coming back with the firm, especially since I’m not really sure what your argument for a substantial pay raise would be today.
anon
Do you have only five months of experience in the practice of law, or just at this firm? Is the temporary position a clerkship or another type of position that adds value to your practice?
Cat
This sounds like a clerkship. So you’ll be making high 5 figures rather than, presumably, mid 5 figures starting out at a small firm?
I would wait to negotiate when it’s time to return – you may have better options at that point anyway (with clerkship under your belt) to go to a higher paying firm. FWIW, in biglaw you don’t get any base salary increase as a result of a clerkship (although the clerkship years do “count” in terms of your class year), but you’d get some size of bonus depending on how prestigious the clerkship. I’d guess you’d be making a similar case for yourself at your firm – you would deserve the benefit of the two years’ worth of experience in your salary, and then negotiate for something extra as a result of the extra clerkship experience.
Dulcinea
I don’t have any direct experience w this but it sounds like you’re off to a fed erkship, possibly appellate? Regardless of what it is, if it is the kind of thing that they will brag about on their website / use to bump the firms prestige, then that ought to get you considered for a pay bump . When I was researching jobs I noticed that done of the really big firms publish their clerkship bonus amounts on their web page. Fried frank was one. You also might be able to find put so e average big law clerkship bonuses from above the law dot com. Then you can pro-rate those/scale it back/ translAte to salary for your smaller firm. It they approved you going and expect you back they must value whatever experience it is you will be getting. I think it’s fair to ask how much. But no advantage in doing it now vs when u are closer to coming back.
rosie
“I do not want to take a pay decrease when I eventually return to the firm”
It’s not reasonable to expect that they will pay you the salary your federal clerkship will pay you when you return to the firm. I would expect to get credit for the time (so, assuming this is your first law job, you won’t come back to the firm and still be a first year), but negotiate that and salary when you’re closer to coming back. I would not expect a clerkship bonus anywhere near the scale of biglaw, if you even get one. You’re probably better off asking for a salary raise based on your experience rather than a one time bonus for coming back, since I would guess whatever bonus they gave would be pretty modest.
Anonymous
I wouldn’t lock yourself in to a post clerkship plan. I learned a ton and networked a ton while clerking, which opened up a ton of post clerkship options. I’m glad that I was able to shop around.
Also, at my court all the clerks were very upfront about their offers so we all knew the going market rate for clerks. This allowed us to negotiate with confidence. Moreover, the market can always change. For instance, the going clerk bonus for my court went up about $25k during my time clerking. I would wait until you’re ready to return to have that conversation with your firm.
Blonde Lawyer
Woah. $25k. Mind blown.
Torrance
Reposting from yesterday, since I posted this late in the day. I’m heading to Mexico City for work in a few weeks. Any suggestions for where to stay, restaurants, tourist attractions if I get some free time?
Anonymous
I went to Mexico City about 7 years ago. Stayed in he Four Seasons near Chapultapec Park, and enjoyed the hotel and the park. I also enjoyed the archaeology museum and the trip to see the pyramids outside of town. I preferred the food at cheap restaurants to the food at the fancy places recommended by the hotel.
Anna
I visited a few months ago and absolutely loved the district. Agreed that many of the hotels near Chapultepec Park are nice and well-located: Four Seasons, Grand Hyatt, Intercontinental, etc. Plan to spend at least an afternoon wandering through the park, too. It’s massive, beautiful, and filled with attractions.
If you have time for just one museum, I recommend the National Museum of Anthropology for its extensive history and artifact collection. If you have time for two, I loved the Museum of Tequila and Mezcal. It’s small but informative, and your ticket includes tastes of tequila and mezcal. It’s also right on the Plaza Garibaldi, where the mariachi bands gather and play in the evenings.
Wander through as many markets as you can handle. Merced is the largest, but I liked the one in Coyoacan the best. For food, yes, skip the fancy places and eat at the inexpensive spots. There’s plenty of inexpensive food at or near all of the markets. Most places prominently advertise their prices outside and prepare food as you walk by, so you can size up exactly what you’re getting.
SoCalAtty
Just a reminder – the DTLA ‘ r e t t e meet-up will be this Sunday, January 11th at 11am! We are meeting at Perch in DTLA. Send me an email at dtlarette at g m a i l if you would like to attend, and you aren’t already on my list.
We hope to see you there!
christineispink
Will try again tmrw morning. I’m turning 30 this year and had originally planned on running a triathlon relay in Hawaii with 2 of my best friends from college. (Un)fortunately, we’re all pretty high-achieving, so my swimmer friend will be on a can’t-take-days-away-off rotation of her medical internship and my biker friend has little (but a little more) control over her biglaw schedule. Swimmer friend is in Phoenix, so I’m thinking of a yoga/spa retreat somewhere in Arizona for a long weekend in mid/late May (when she’s on a slightly more forgiving rotation) even though my actual birthday is in April. Biglaw friend is in DC and I’m in-house in NYC.
Google has been a little overwhelming and Yowunga seems a bit gimmicky to me (like I’m only seeing paid advertisements and not getting a full sampling of what’s out there).
Has anyone done anything like this (or fantasy-planned) and/or have recs? I’m looking for something like Shoshoni Y0ga Ashram in Colorado. Would prefer slightly lux on the scale to barebones ashram.
anon
Kat! I really wish there wasn’t such a lag after the topic-specific posts so I could post this on an afternoon thread. I may repost later if a thread pops up.
Anyway, I have a friend problem. I hardly ever see two friends of mine. I can count on one hand the times I have seen them in the past two years since moving to the same city. Both live and work close to me, but are always hanging out with their now fiances. This was a problem before they got engaged, but I struggled to bring it up mostly because there was/is never an opportunity (i.e. I ask to hang out and don’t hear back for days, text or call and don’t get a call back, so it seemed hard to cuss someone out over text or during a 5 minute phone call while the other is running errands and talking to sales clerks.)
Now both have asked me to be bridesmaids. I say “asked,” but there wasn’t really much choice in it. One wrote a letter (when I called upon receiving it, got her voicemail and no call back). The other caught me by surprise by asking another friend and I at the same time, when I thought we were just casually meeting for drinks (which I was excited about because, as I said, I never see them).
It feels weird to be asked to be such a big part of someone’s wedding when I feel like we aren’t even part of each other’s lives anymore. It is also minorly annoying to me to now be expected to attend several other wedding-related events, travel, take time off (I work in biglaw, too), and to fork over the costs associated with these.
I probably should have said something before they got engaged, but never found a good opportunity. I know weddings often bring people close together, but I feel that now where our lives are still somewhat similar (I live and work very close to both of them) and already never see them/talk to them, how much better is it going to get when they are living with their husbands and having kids, etc. (I am still single.)
What do I do?
Pink
Either decide to do it as a way to spend time with them, or if you’re done with them (as friends), politely decline because of other things on your plate.
Wildkitten
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/weddings/2013/06/wedding_guest_goodbyes_friendships_that_end_after_your_wedding.html