Thursday’s Workwear Report: Textured Sweater Jacket
This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
We had a great roundup of sweater jackets last week that reminded me I need to add another to my collection. This textured version from Loft caught my eye. The color would be super versatile, and although this doesn’t have as much structure as some of the others we’ve featured, I think it would still do the job.
The length would pair beautifully with pants or dresses, and the texture makes it look a little fancier than some of the other knits I’ve seen.
The sweater is on sale for $36 (originally $98) at Loft and comes in sizes XXS-XXL.
For something in a wider range of sizes, check out this Talbots style — it's on sale for $129.99 and is available in misses, petite, plus, and plus petite.
Some of our favorite sweater jackets for the office as of 2025 include M.M.LaFleur (the OG, the jardigan!), L'Agence, Summersalt, J.Crew, and Jenni Kayne. For budget options check J.Crew Factory and Quince.
Sales of note for 2/14/25 (Happy Valentine's Day!):
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase — and extra 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + 15% off (readers love their suiting as well as their silky shirts like this one)
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 300+ styles $25 and up
- J.Crew – 40% of your purchase – prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site and storewide + extra 50% off clearance
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Flash sale ending soon – markdowns starting from $15, extra 70% off all other markdowns (final sale)
Anyone had a spouse experience ED? My husband is 45 and dealing with a terminally ill parent, work/parenting stress, not being able to exercise as much due to an injury. After reading about ED, seems like this factors could be having a big impact, but could it also be just drop in libido? He claims he’s still attracted to me, and I definitely don’t want to have my feelings add to the issue if it is somewhat out of his control right now.
Does he use p0rn? ED is on the rise among younger men who can’t get it up without increasingly violent and extreme imagery. 45 seems young to me.
I think he occasionally looks at porn, but definitely not excessively.
45 is not at all too young for it. These kinds of issues are common after 40. When they talk about ED and “young men,” they mean like 20-somethings.
45 is not too young for occasional ED. Obviously stress could also be contributing.
Yep, this.
I forget where but I read somewhere that every man suffers from it at some point. Sounds like he has a lot of stress right now.
In my 15 year relationship it’s happened a handful of times to my under 40 husband. If it’s a one off, it’s not a big deal because of the factors that you mentioned. Of course the trick is not to read too much into it and make it a big deal this way.
I wish women talked about this more. In general we get such a bad rap for being the ‘sexless shrews’ who don’t want to be touched, but my husband is HIGHLY sensitive to stress in life and work and his libido/etc plummets. I have to work really hard to not internalize it.
It gets easier! I learned in college that I had a higher sex drive than my bf at the time. Society tells us that all men always want sex all the time, and if they don’t, then something is wrong with the woman, so I took it kinda personally. This is one of those cases where sexism also harms men, by creating pressure from ridiculous stereotypes. Anyway, focusing on your partner as an individual who is simply human, helps a lot. If your roles were reversed, you wouldn’t want your partner to be hurt by your libido issues.
Would you be in the mood if your parent was dying, you were injured, and you were stressed out on top of that? I sure wouldn’t be! And if my husband made a big deal about it, it would only make things worse.
OP did not say she was trying to force her husband to have sex. Maybe he wants to, but can’t.
Right, but those things take a toll. She says she knows that stress is linked to ED and then goes on to say that she’s taking it personally. Of course it’s related!
Fair point, but he has been the one initiating and then not being able to sustain.
Sorry, I’m not trying to be mean, I’ve just been in the position of having a medical issue that temporarily affected my physical abilities. My boyfriend at the time took it personally, despite the fact that my interest in him hadn’t changed and it ended up destroying the relationship. It wasn’t about him at all and by taking it as a rejection, it just blew everything out of proportion and made things worse and worse to the point where I really did lose interest in him.
If he’s initiating seems pretty obvious he’s into you. This isn’t about you.
If he’s initiating and not able to sustain, then his horny brain is still working, which is good.
1) it could be a physical, issue, which means a work up with a urologist.
2) it could be psychological, intrusive thoughts like “uh oh, what if I can’t get it up or keep it up?” which is a boner killer for sure.
Viagra or Cialis can treat some parts of both. For men who suffer from the second, it can be confidence-boosting that the medicine is going to “guarantee” an erection.
It will be important for you not to shame him about this or to make it about “you must not be attracted to me” since you need the pills. Just be supportive and appreciative.
This. I realize I’m a woman, but her DH’s situation sounds like my situation right now. I am the one with libido troubles due to lots of life stressors. It sucks, and I feel guilty all the time for having very little interest in s3x right now.
Sleep apnea or other poor sleep issues, blood pressure and other health issues can contribute as well. His body may have been coping with something chronic lower-level but together with the recent high stress it’s just too much.
Stupid question and maybe not the forum, but does not being able to finish qualify as ED? Or is the E truly literal? Bc my 53 yo DH has experienced that occasionally over the years.
I don’t know, but my own spouse of similar age has also experienced occasional inability to finish. My observation is that it happens most when he is stressed about something and won’t acknowledge it to himself or address it, and conversely, when he is so eager to have a good session that he seems to overly fixate on making it happen.
My 45 year old husband has this happen somewhat regularly. We think it is due to a lot of things (he was on an anti-depressant for awhile that undoubtedly contributed), but it is also stress related. Just like sometimes I can’t finish, he also has difficulty sometimes. I think it is a bad stereotype that all men finish all of the time. He swears it is still enjoyable even if he doesn’t finish. Just like I still enjoy it if I don’t finish. We have noticed that, for both of us, it is sometimes harder to finish if it’s been awhile since we’ve had a session.
Alcohol can cause this issue for my H (age 48). Doesn’t really even need to be that much alcohol.
This is a known side effect of SSRIs.
As a follow-up, if you have a spouse who’s dealt with this, what has helped?
Viagra or Cialis. Extremely common treatments.
I’m surprised at how few people seem to think this is normal. In my relationship it certainly has been. My husband is now 55, and we have been together almost 18 years. It was an occasional issue even early on, when we were super sexually active, probably partly because he was on antidepressants. What helps? Patience, time, exploring other kinds of sexual intimacy. Make out in an open-ended way. Find other ways to give each other pleasure. I mean, I personally have trouble having an orgasm with some regularity, so it isn’t that weird to me that my husband’s physical arousal can be unpredictable.
PS – I think my husband had tried viagra before we met but didn’t like the way it felt or something, so we didn’t really use it together.
It’s normal on antidepressants, but that doesn’t make it normal in general.
Have you never watched TV sports or seen the sports pages of a newspaper? Do you not get junk email? Half of those ads are about ED treatments. It’s extremely common.
No, occasional ED is very normal, especially as you get older. https://www.clevelandclinicmeded.com/medicalpubs/diseasemanagement/endocrinology/erectile-dysfunction/
Common is also not the same as normal. Type 2 diabetes is common, but I wouldn’t want to normalize it?
Anon, you sound like an unsympathetic asshole. This is a very common and distressing problem for men.
Okay. Personally when I experience something common but distressing, I’d rather have it addressed than be told it’s normal in the sense of okay or fine; that is not the kind of sympathy I am looking for. It’s common to be depressed in the first place, but I wouldn’t say it’s normal to be depressed either.
Your position is not backed by data – whatever the cause, it’s very widespread at relatively young ages.
The Massachusetts Male Aging Study reported a prevalence of 52%.2 The study demonstrated that ED is increasingly prevalent with age: approximately 40% of men are affected at age 40 and nearly 70% of men are affected at age 70. The prevalence of complete ED increased from 5% at age 40 to 15% at age 70.2 Age was the variable most strongly associated with ED.
I understand that it’s normal in the sense of expected if there are underlying conditions like depression, obesity, cardiovascular disease, sleep apnea, etc., and that these conditions are common. But if those are factors, I still think they need to be identified and addressed.
I don’t think you mean it like that, but you sure sound like you think a man should perform in the bedroom at any and all time, no matter his dying parent.
I’m a big believer that sometimes we need medical support through stressful times. There’s a cultural tendency to support patients through “eustress” but abandon them with “stress.” It’s understandable because, psychologically, negative sources of stress feel much worse than positive ones, and it’s easy to cast blame on something difficult and sad. But if the source of stress is something like qualifying for an athletic tournament and needing to train and travel to compete, it’s more normalized to get support with sleep, vitamins, or whatever our body needs to deal with the extra demands we’re placing on it. When going through something stressful, I want that same level of medical support (am I sleeping well? do I have any deficiencies? are my labs okay? etc.). When we stopped blaming symptoms on stress and started getting legit medical work up, things got much better (new CPAP, some vitamin supplements, and eventually a new medical diagnosis that explained the vitamin deficiencies as well as low testosterone levels).
It happened to my husband just in time for his 50th birthday this year. He’s had a full workup, there are some things that he is still tracking down, but in the meantime, the little blue pills do work. He did say it was the most uncomfortable email he’s ever sent, but he was glad to have the option to e mail his doctor rather than call the office to set up an appointment! Having to plan when to take the meds has been a bit of a bummer, but we are both having more fun than we’ve had in a while.
Dan Savage has answered lots of different questions about ED, with good advice from both medical and psychological issues, and to both partner and ED person, so looking at the Savage Love archives could give some good imput.
If he’s initiating but can’t sustain, I wouldn’t take it personally. Is he willing to do other things to help you finish? Given all the factors you mention and the fact that he’s still initiating, this definitely doesn’t seem like it’s about being attracted to you, feeling loved in a healthy relationship, etc.
My DH sometimes has the opposite issue if he’s stressed, overwhelmed, etc., where he finishes too soon. Then he gets embarrassed about it, which just makes it worse. But he’s willing to make sure I finish, and it’s a pretty clear correlation between life factors and gardening issues vs. relationship or attraction issues, so I don’t take it personally or assume he’s intentionally being selfish.
Please encourage him to get a full health workup. ED can be a symptom of other, serious health problems. And getting a general checkup gives him cover to talk to a doctor about ED too.
OP, I’m here to commiserate with being in the position where you are asking these questions. You’ve mentioned your husband’s sources of stress, but I suspect it would be fair to say that to some extend most or all of them also affect you, and then you might have your own separate from his. If your relationship and gardening life are generally part of your support system, I imagine the issues you are describing might add to your stress, too.
While we don’t know (and you may not know for a while) what is causing these issues, there’s an immediate impact on him, on you, and your relationship that I hope you will find ways to address, separately and perhaps together… Sending hugs!
Perfume recommendations that most feature a lemon/citrus note? Not a sweet gourmand. Thanks!
I love this one.
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/hesperides-grapefruit-eau-de-parfum/7545643?color=NO+COLOR&size=0.3+oz&utm_content=61786981803&utm_term=pla-297414535588&utm_channel=low_nd_shopping_standard&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=745687890&adpos=&creative=312380913491&device=m&matchtype=&network=g&acctid=21700000001689570&dskeywordid=92700049880928210&lid=92700049880928210&ds_s_kwgid=58700005468312114&ds_s_inventory_feed_id=97700000007631122&dsproductgroupid=297414535588&product_id=A2087347&merchid=1243147&prodctry=US&prodlang=en&channel=online&storeid=&locationid=9032058&targetid=pla-297414535588&campaignid=745687890&adgroupid=61786981803&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA-aK8BhCDARIsAL_-H9k5xKInmuDBoKm1-UDzZBCx3fPPWtFHbw_WX2qrh8nYpgp9-LM1LTkaAncjEALw_wcB
Jo Malone Grapefruit, or any of the other citrus scents from there.
Eau d’Hadrien by Annick Goutal is my favorite citrus summer scent.
I came here to recommend this one. I recommend getting it directly from Goutal Paris online, because I am convinced there is a difference.
Fresh Sugar Lemon, available at Bluemercury or I think Ulta, if you want your citrus straight up, which I do.
Aqua de Parma, Colonia
Guerlain Aqua Allegoria Pampelune is a classic for a reason! It’s hard for me not to wear this one every day despite my vast collection. (I’m a fraghead.)
You can get Pampelune pretty cheaply on the gray market (fragrancex and fragrance net are legit) because it has been around for a long time at this point.
Use one of their coupons
https://www.fragrancenet.com/perfume/guerlain/aqua-allegoria-pamplelune/edt
I love that one as well!
Any recommendations for a fragrance sampler? I have never worn perfume (apart from perfumed lotions) and would like to dip into this world, but really not sure what to order. I ordered a sample of Santal 33 years ago and they sent me a couple of vials of other scents. I honestly don’t even know what kinds of scents I like, so would need a few across the spectrum. Recommendation?
At the recommendation of other posters, I got a sampler set from penhaligon’s and aerin. I didn’t really care for either. I am, however, obsessed with all of my samples from Santa Maria Novella.
You can try a subscription service like Scent Bird where they send you a vial every month or so. You do a quiz to set your preferences.
Lucky Scent is a seller of indie fragrances and they do sample packs. Expect full bottles to be expensive. I think it’s worth it for fine fragrance, but YMMV.
Annick Goutal has a $38 sampler that includes Eau d’Hadrien.
x100! I came here to say Pamplelune and I’m happy to see fellow fans!
I love it so much!
Phlur does samplers. I got a couple of sets a few years ago and found my perfect, forever, signature scent – which it promptly discontinued. :(
I would still recommend the company.
We use stainless steel cookware and the lids get too hot to handle without oven mitts. We want some kind of little silicone gripper that can live permanently on the lid, but it seems hard to find anything that meets that description. We don’t want a separate silicon pot holder that doesn’t stay on the lid. ideas?
Look on Amazon for “silicone pot lid holder handle cover” – even if you want more than handle covered it will get you to the right sellers.
Oh or “silicone lid lifts”
That’s what I’ve been trying and I’m not finding anything that looks good for lids (versus the carrying handles). “Lid lifts” results in little doo-dads to lift the edge of the lid to let steam out, which we don’t need.
That is my least liked feature of AllClad,
and no quart size on the bottom of the pans.
End of rant.
You’re looking for “hot handle holder” I think. Lodge makes them for their pans.
But they aren’t meant to live permanently on the lid! You risk moisture leading to mold and corrosion problems. Take them off for cleaning, then put them back on once the pan and the silicone are dry.
Those are for handles, not lids. Idk why it’s so hard to find something for lids!
Tie a dishcloth around the handle?
Interim solution: Try wedging a wine cork under the lid handle then you can hold on to the ends of the cork. Some of my lid handles are too high (too much of a gap) but a champagne cork works.
I do this! Tt works.
Why can’t you just use oven mitts or a hot pad?
Is Huberman a good/trustworthy source? I’m not a regular podcast listener but occasionally wonder about something so I look up his podcast on point. I know he’s associated with bro science but… he seems solid? Is there a better source or one more focused on how women are affected? I’ve listened to his podcasts with Stacy Sims, on adhd, on sleep, etc.
Read the New York Magazine article
Can you tldr it for me? From quick excerpts it looks like they found ex girlfriends who say he’s an AH but that doesn’t mean his work is necessarily bad
It’s not a novel. Just read it.
He has a history of abuse and of lying to get ahead. He’s also been known to dumb down real science to the point of being inaccurate. I’m sure he’s right on a lot of points, but I would double check anything he says with more credible sources.
That article addresses his personal life more than his professional life.
Abuse was alluded to heavily but never substantiated at all. At least my read. He was just a bad boyfriend.
You will find no support here, but my husband has found his adhd recommendations quite helpful. I don’t throw babies out with the bathwater.
Honestly my ex was into his podcast and that is enough to turn me off to him!
Like most podcasters, he’s entertainment first, science second. The science is better than most, but a lot is cherry picked to make his points and fit in with his persona (which is pretty gross, as the post above mentions). So just take it with a grain of salt and remember he’s doing this as a business to entertain you and to get you to buy the stuff he advertises, not as an impartial academic researcher that actually looks at all of the research on a topic.
It’s kind of the worst (IMO) because it’s a jumbled mess of valid points mixed in with junk science and the use of big words and concepts such that it’s hard, if not impossible, to tease out what’s true versus what’s as yet unproven versus what’s just pure fiction.
I see your point but at the same time, he’s very, VERY far from the worst in terms of how much trouble someone could get into by believing or acting on the claims. There’s way junkier science and pseudoscience out there that’s also popular
+1. He is definitely not “the worst.” Like all podcasts, his are done for listener entertainment, but realistically, his science is better than most.
I agree with your point in that it’s dangerous how easy it is to get confused on what’s right and wrong because he’s always throwing around science words in a convincing way (though as an actual scientist, this is one reason why I can’t listen to him, it’s not at all how scientists really talk, though you wouldn’t want to listen to that podcast). But you’d probably be better off following his advice than a lot of people’s or the standard American diet and lifestyle, even if he’s definitely not right about everything.
He’s fine. He suffers from the same defects all podcasters do — makes research sound more exciting than it is, likes to hear himself talk, does long episodes basically solely so he can jam more ads in— but his podcasts are at least based on research, and he communicates complex ideas well.
Listen to a couple episodes. Don’t worship him. If a tip sounds like it’d be a good fit for your lifestyle, try it out.
Nope.
As an alternative to consider, I like The Psychology Podcast with Scott Barry Kaufman. He interviews people in the field and seems more accurate and less salesy.
Seems like Athleta isn’t selling swimwear anymore? So bummed. Any suggestions where else to look?
Carve Designs has a similar sporty aesthetic.
title nine
It looks like they still have a few new options? Maybe they’re just in betwee seasons? But agree with the Carve Designs. REI usually has a handful of their suits in stores (though maybe not this time of year) if you want to try on in person. I like their rashguards, too. Title IX usually has some that look promising, though I’ve never actually ordered from them.
It’s early, I’ve noticed that Athleta waits longer than most brands to release its swimwear for the season. In the meantime, look at Carve, T9, Next, and Prana.
Athleta does have a few styles out under New > Swim.
Ooh thank you! I hadn’t caught that.
Title 9
They’re pretty seasonal in their selection generally, though I wasn’t that impressed with their swimsuit selection last year. I like the cupshe brand on Amazon. It’s cheaper (in both price and quality) but it’s cute and fits well. It provides decent coverage without being matronly. I wouldnt wear it as sportswear though, I stick with my older athleta stuff for diving or real swimming (vs hanging out in the pool “swimming”).
Swim Outlet has a bunch of brands.
Ughhhhhhh my 17 yo DD suffers from m!gra!nes (not sure if that word is still m o d fodder) – she had 2 in Dec, then one the first Sun/Mon of school, then was sick earlier this week and now has another one. She is in 11th grade and I am worried about her missing so much school with college apps coming up. She has a triptan, but it doesn’t seem to do anything to make her headaches shorter! Her neuro has told her to exercise which she doesn’t, but she does drink all her water and there’s only so much I can do to make her sleep not too much (she would sleep forever if given the chance, and goes to bed at 8:30, has to get up for school at 6:35), and then if she has to play in a concert or has a school event and stays up late, then like clockwork 2-3 days later she will get one. Just venting but if you have experience, would love to hear if anything worked or if this is just the way it will be? :-0
Go back to the doctor and get different medications to try. There are tons out there. There are also medications you can take preemptively to prevent migraines, like beta blockers.
Don’t start on preventive medications for so few migraines (2 or 3 per month per my read)
There are better preventives now – some of the CGRP meds are preventives, and there are CGRP abortives that work better than triptans for many. It’s very very worth it to treat episodic migraines with effective preventives – this can help keep her from progressing to chronic migraine and a lifetime of pain (source: 30+ years of constant pain).
I also wonder if her doctor would recommend oral contraceptives could be helpful-migraines can be related to menstrual cycles and hormonal changes.
I’m kind of surprised the neurologist didn’t have other suggestions and frankly triptans aren’t a great med for tons of people (you usually do have to ‘fail’ them to get to the better meds though). I’d start with a trigger diary – mine are solidly hormonal and barometric pressure related so hormonal BC cut my migraine days in half – that could be a game changer if she’s similar. Water will help, as will sleep. I’d encourage you to get her eyes checked in case eye strain is contributing to migraines. I’d also advocate with her doctor for her to try a new migraine med.
Yes have done that – it appears related to sleep/stress esp when she has to stay up late on a Fri or Sat and then get up early on the Mon after. She has an IUD (kyleena) because at the beginning it appeared to be hormone/PMS related.
IME, the Pill and an IUD made headaches much, much worse.
Eh, different strokes. The only thing that controlled my migraines was going on a continuous use BCP (the no periods or four per year kind).
Not true. It is different for different people.
Would it be possible to let her sleep in and miss her first 1-2 classes the days after late events? Might be a bit better than having her miss an entire day of school 2-3 days later. And I’m sorry, migraines suck!
If she’s getting them often enough to significantly interfere with her life, she should take preventative drugs. But not sleeping enough and not eating regularly are two of my biggest triggers, so I do all can to keep those on track.
Ask her neuro to order a sleep study. When my sleep disorder was diagnosed and treated along with my m graines, it made a huge difference. (I have hypersomnia.) Many fewer m graines, many more regular life days. The sleep disorder symptoms were lumped into m graine symptoms for years by many specialists until my 40s when I changed to a new neuro practice which picked apart each symptom and suggested the sleep study. The untreated sleep disorder was running me ragged and if not affirmatively triggering m graines, it was depleating my ability to effectively manage them by keeping me so exhausted (physically, mentally, emotionally).
Oh interesting! She isn’t really sleepy during the day but she can always sleep more!
Interesting! Never heard of this but I think it sounds like my partner.
How was it diagnosed and treated?
My hypersomnia doesn’t present as “sleepiness”, I don’t fall asleep while people are talking to me or at the movie theater. It presents as a constant feeling of lack of rest, lack of energy, lack of stamina for the day’s activities. Like I’ve had sleep that is not restorative and I’m waking up exhausted, or waking up rested but then being super tired by mid-afternoon. I was addressing the symptoms by drinking too much coffee (really really too much) which only compounded the m graine sleep problems. It was when the new neuro put me on a clean sleep program (go to bed and rise every day at the same time, cut back hard on all caffiene, bed for bed activities only, etc.) and we replaced afternoon coffee with a short walk and a good snack (yoghurt, apple and almonds, etc.) that we realized that something else was going on. That’s when she ordered the sleep study(ies). The treatment is lifestyle modification (good sleep schedule, exercise, diet) and a medication.
So OP – just take away from this that your daughter has to learn that as a migraineur she has to eat/sleep/exercise with a regular normal pattern. Sleep hygiene is key. Tapering off screens in the evening and more. She does not need a sleep study necessarily.
She needs an experienced migraine neurologist helping her – not just a PCP.
Return to the neurologist or get another one. If your daughter really is getting sleep from 8:30 pm -6:30 am, she’s getting more than enough sleep. Exercise will likely help some, but if she’s getting several, she should be doing preventative meds, maybe Botox.
They will not approve Botox until you have 15 or more migraines a month!
I had a few migraines in my teens and 20s but they really got bad in my 30s, especially when pregnant then now it seems I’m stuck with them.
Magnesium has been a game changer for me, I have a Ubrelvy prescription and it’s okay but rubbing magnesium oil on my body nightly for a few weeks prevented a migraine the next time I hit that point in my cycle so I’ve continued doing it. Magnesium supplement pills didn’t work fyi, only the oils or epsom salt baths. I know magnesium deficiency is a cause of some migraines so it may not work for her but is low effort and worth a try.
Also over time she’ll identify her triggers – staying up late, loud music, alcohol, any of those do it for me.
Magnesium was a game changer for my daughter, who is quite a bit younger than the OP’s. She takes magnesium and b12 supplements before bed, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how much her situation improved.
Magnesium also helped me tremendously.
Magnesium and B2 reduce mine a lot, but the biggest game changer was finding my dietary allergies. I had to do an elimination diet, but a diet diary may be helpful.
When she turns 18, she should be able to see migraine specialist neurologists who see adults. My experience was that a lot of pediatric specialists are subpar compared to the specialists who see adults, and my healthcare got worlds better when I turned 18. There are tons of other migraine meds out there beyond triptans.
Is Long Covid a possibility in your daughter’s case?
It’s now been fairly established that Covid-19 causes issues with blood flow and nerve activity in the brain, which would appear to have links to migraine disorders. So if this is somewhat new, might be worth discussing with the specialists you’re seeing. There are some Long Covid workups (e.g. testing for microclots) that can be done, and some supplements/medications that help some Long Covid sufferers.
Low potassium used to trigger mine. I’d make sure she’s on a good multivitamin and not low iron, potassium or magnesium.
I’ll look into this too. Thanks!
she sounds similar to me, and first – thank you for advocating for her. (I realize there are also more meds now than when I was younger, but I suffered way longer than I should have by not getting more serious treatment). My #1 trigger is big events – things I’m stressed about or excited for, I’d frequently get a migraine the day or two after. Even if I was sleeping well, eating healthy, etc. Getting a daily preventative (for me it’s the right dose of propanolol ) and a stronger triptan or other option to take when I feel one starting has drastically improved my life.
This does sound very similar! Will ask the neuro re preventatives.
Does “pre-gaming” the migraine seem to help? When I can feel one coming on, taking OTC medication and having a Coke will sometimes work or at least shorten the experience.
I don’t know if she can tell. She will tell me when I wake her up in the am at 635 that she has a migraine, then I give her the triptan and her advil etc.
My migraines went from one or two per month to one or two per year when I cut out dairy. Obviously this isn’t everyone’s migraine trigger, but you asked about people’s experience, and that’s mine. Maybe not helpful with a 17 yo. But I would keep a trigger diary as someone mentioned.
First, find a neurologist familiar with migraines – not all of them are. I have seen many. You want to track her triggers: weather, stress, food, fragrance, hormones, etc. Knowing her hormones will help avoid some of them. I am on a beta blocker, a monthly CGRP injection, and ubrelvy. I have migraine with aura so no bc. I will tell you unfortunately I failed through almost every triptan which was required before I could start the CGRPs. I don’t know how many they require now but be prepared for that and be insistent the doctor move on to something else.
The other thing about knowing her triggers is that when everyone has an opinion about foods you should eat or something you should do, it lets you ignore what isn’t helpful. We all are very different and the disease changes as you age. But I learned to ignore say food trigger advice because I don’t have food triggers. She might want to connect to some of the migraine orgs to see what the latest apps and research.
Who has made the leap to RedNote? Thoughts?
Absolutely not. Such a terrible idea.
I wasn’t on TikTok either, though. I’m 30 and definitely get fomo, but it’s not worth the risk.
Genuinely, the risk of what?
What upside is there to spending more time on your phone? The downsides are obvious.
But why would I spend more time on my phone and not just spend time on this app instead of some other app?
And I really don’t know what the downsides are supposed to be.
Tiktok is very good at learning what you want to read and sucks me in for way too long. It is an addiction for sure. I stick to IG and facebook. I turned tiktok off.
I can’t believe the Gen Zs are a) so sympathetic to China and b) see banning TikTok as censorship and oppression.
Clearly they need to go back to history class.
It’s pretty common knowledge in nat sec circles that war with China is a when, not an if (which is terrifying in so many ways). China is 100% winning the propaganda war with the Gen Z and I presume Gen Alpha.
It does make me laugh that they’re so hot on China yet see the US government (especially the current administration) as oppressive and limiting free speech. Do they not know what happens in China?!
I don’t think it’s lack of understanding of history. It’s influencer culture. Influencers are desperate to keep their income stream, whatever the cost. They make it seem cool. And others come flocking.
People of all ages use TikTok, not just Gen Z. And yes, the US banning any method of expression is limiting free speech.
Omfg banning a foreign app that has security risks is not a first amendment violation. No one is censoring the speech itself.
If they cared about security risks they could legislate about security risks. But they want to give Meta et al. a pass. Seems like Gen Z understands the hypocrisy there.
It may be hypocritical but politicians are hypocritical all the time. It’s not censorship or a violation of the first amendment.
I think it’s censorship to ban the app and its contents instead of imposing security requirements that the app could meet or fail to meet.
Thats what happened though. There were security concerns, TikTok was given time to be sold, TikTok did not remedy the situation to fix those concerns and so therefore it’d being banned.
It’s been a lengthy, thought out process. It didn’t happen overnight
are “security risks” on TikTok due to the Chinese owners affecting content? Or is installation of the app doing something to our phones, or our data?
If it’s the first it seems like there are a lot of really f’ing sketchy social media owners right now.
It’s interesting right, because the user is trying to freely express speech, but the algorithm is limiting what reaches the listener’s ears. So isn’t China by controlling the algorithm limiting free speech?
Yes
A) yes all generations use it, but it’s definitely most popular with Gen Z and B) I’ve only seen complaints about “censorship” from Gen Z
It’s funny because TT had a lot of content censorship that was apparently fine, but something gets banned for a very real security risk and people lose their minds. Also, any platform’s choice to censor or not censor is its prerogative – they’re private companies (I disagree with Meta changing it’s fact checking and think it’s dangerous, but it’s not illegal).
Any Chinese software or hardware should be banned here, IMO. Same with any major adversary (Russia, Iran). It’s basic national security and counter espionage.
This isn’t censorship. You can go on any American platform and share your videos or whatnot.
Why would you leap from one destructively addictive product to another. Take the opportunity to quit short form video while it’s in front of you.
Right? Security risks aside (which are real!), it’s a very unhealthy habit and I’m glad it’s being banned.
This is actually what I am doing. I have realized I am using TikTok more and more and I am having trouble quitting. I am looking forward to it being gone
Amen!
I have friends who are actual Chinese nationals who won’t Red Note because of the risk of government involvement. So… no. But I was never on TikTok and only saw short clips that were reshared to Insta or other platforms.
You know how people had a cow when the FBI subpoenaed audio data from Alexa because people thought it was a privacy violation? Just assume anything done on Chinese software is being easily and freely shown with the CCP.
The CCP is an adversary and has an extensive espionage operation against the US. It also has a horrible human rights record and does terrible things. I don’t want the CCP being able to leverage my info for anything – either as intelligence file it’s espionage operations nor do I want anything I do to support a regime that violates human rights.
Finally, Red Note is a massive soft power and propagation opportunity for the CCP.
I’m not someone who is super gung ho pro America, but I recognize that there’s a world of difference between my complaints against my government and very terrible situations happening elsewhere. We’re overall a free country where I have lots of rights – I don’t agree with a lot of what we’ve done and what we will continue to do, but it’s much, much better than many alternatives. I don’t want to make it easier for the enemy.
I don’t have any state secrets, so I still don’t really understand what’s the worst case scenario here.
Surely I’m at much greater risk from spying done by my own government than one a world away?
Ok so presuming you’re American, no you’re not at a high risk of being spied on by your government. There are protections for American citizens and our privacy. The USG cannot conduct surveillance on you without probable cause, a warrant, etc. It takes a lot to get that approved. To the point that we probably miss crimes and other dangerous activity because we take an abundance of caution when conducting surveillance.
But what’s China going to do to me personally?
Meanwhile USA could change its laws at any time?
Sure, China wont do anything to your personally. China can, and eventually will, become more aggressive to be the world super power. It’s going to be a major destabilizing force. It might be economically, it might be disinformation, it might be another pandemic, it might be a war. But in your lifetime China is likely going to do something big and bad.
Sure your government can change its laws at anytime. I know a lot of us don’t have great trust in the checks and balances of government. But, changing surveillance laws would be massive and wouldn’t be quick and easy.
I’m less worried about the actual surveillance laws changing than about the definitions of what’s a security threat changing. If people who criticize DJT too vocally start being treated like domestic terrorists, surely there are some loopholes to worry about? Or hopefully not. But there were a lot of things I thought were meaningfully illegal in the USA that I’ve had to reassess.
China is probably not going to do anything to you “personally” (assuming you do not work for the government, or in any sensitive industry, or for any industry where they might want to steal your secrets for economic advantage, etc.) But my company’s IT department would not allow TT on our company devices or any device from which you access company information because you can safely assume that the Chinese government can and will use the app to hack your device. And the head of that department is a liberal Democrat and very far from an alarmist.
And we sell insurance. Not exactly state secrets here,
I may be naive, but I have faith that the vast, vast majority of public servants are professionals, ethical, and acting in good faith. If they get an illegal order, they won’t follow it. Without changes to the laws, what you mention would be an illegal order.
And to answer part two, without having state secrets there is still lots of useful information for intelligence purposes to be gained from seemingly mundane posts from random Americans.
I guess. Alphabet/Meta/Amazon/X.com know it all too. Heck even Uber was using spyware on people’s phones.
Yeah but those companies aren’t based in adversarial countries that are authoritarian and have no privacy protections.
I am under no illusion. I know every service, website, subscription and app is collecting data on me. I don’t like it but that’s life.
However, most are using it two ways: business intelligence (how to get me to spend more money with them) and selling info to advertisers (and making lots of money).
They’re using the information to inform targeted algorithms to spread disinformation to get their preferred candidate elected head of state.
It’s not just about spying on Americans or gaining our data (yours individually has low value, but yours combined with millions of others’ data is high value). It’s also about propaganda and misinformation.
This.
Your data is meaningless, data from millions is valuable.
You’re also a great audience for their propaganda and disinformation
I take propaganda and misinformation seriously. The algorithms have turned some close family members of mine into antivaxx QAnon conspiracy theorists who want to fight FEMA, and I’m certain that some of that propaganda is foreign.
I don’t think it’s going anywhere though; it’s all on FB, YT, and X.
Bingo.
It’s not about whether you individually have anything to say that is important to the CCP. It’s that the CCP is aggregating all of the information and using it for the purposes of propaganda, misinformation/disinformation/malinformation, and subverting American society.
That makes it sound like the US companies doing the exact same thing don’t want the competition.
You realize the CCP doesn’t allow Facebook, Instagram, etc. in China? I fervently believe that we should apply the same rules to other countries that they do to us. Is so stupid and naive not to.
Lolol
Seriously. This whole thread is the craziest psyop.
I’m not delusional conspiracy theorist but you all are wildly naive to trust any big tech and especially a Chinese government one.
Heading to Tokyo for four days! What are your recommendations for jazz, other music or shows, museums, and other activities for a couple of adults?
Was in Tokyo in May.
Museums:
– In Ueno area, Tokyo National Museum. There are several different galleries, we went to the central one harboring art and antiques. The exhibition is well done and not overwhelming. There is a nice park surrounding the museum and a tea house.
– People seem to like TeamLab, an immerse art experience, different locations across the city. Haven’t personally been but seems to be Insta-pic worthy.
– Mori Art Museum has a lot of cool modern art installations.
– Watarium Art Museum near Omote-Sando and National Stadium
– Yushukan War Museum near the controversial Yasukuni-jinja Shrine, if a glimpse into how Japan deals with its history is something you’re interested in (not for the faint of heart, though)
Activities:
– Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building has two observatory towers with the best views over Tokyo. It’s free. Opening times for the two towers vary, so check: https://www.yokoso.metro.tokyo.lg.jp/en/tenbou/#h2-01
– Ueno area: The zoo was very crowded, and honestly a bit depressing (IME, Asian zoos often are behind Euro/US-zoos when it comes to habitat design and animal welfare). They do have pandas, though! The lake (Shinobazuno Pond) near the zoo has swan-shaped pedal boats and row boats, the ride was a lot of fun.
– For a different part of town, explore Odaiba and Tokyo’s city beach. A few cool pieces of architecture like the Fuji TV building, and a Statue of Liberty. There are a couple of fun-themed museums there (miniature world, games, TeamLab), but I haven’t been to any of those personally.
– If that’s your jam and you’re not planning on a Japanese bath experience elsewhere, consider going to an onsen. TimeOut should have a good list.
– If you’re interested in exploring Japanese culture, traditional dance and theater performances like Noh, Kabuki or Bunraku (shadow theater with puppets) could be amazing.
I did TeamLabs in Tokyo in Feb 24 and loved it. My husband and I usually aren’t “art people” but the immersive experience was beautiful. I’d do it again for sure.
What are the best ways to find cheap/low cost flights domestically and internationally from the US? I’d like to prioritize travel this year and I’m always hearing about how people got some amazing deal on flights, but I have no idea how to do that. Is there an app you use? Is paying for a subscription to something like Going actually worth it? I’m usually looking for specific dates because I have kids in school and summer camp and don’t have a lot of flexibility. I don’t really want to sign up for a credit card if I don’t have to. TIA!
Google flights – you can sign up for alerts for specific flights. It’ll tell you when the price goes up or down.
Going and things like that won’t have much value if you’re locked into specific dates. I think your best bet is just using Google Flights “Explore” feature to see which destinations are cheaper on your chosen dates.
But honestly a lot of the people talking about amazing deals don’t have kids in K-12 school. The prices are high all summer and on other school breaks because airlines know when people want to travel. Unless you pull your kids out of school, inflated travel costs is a price of having school age kids. I’ve paid literally 5 times more for the Christmas-New Years week than the same resort would cost two weeks later.
Yup, as someone who used to get those amazing deals, but now has kids, I completely agree. I used to be flexible on dates, layovers, and even airport, but now I’m not. I still get decent deals occasionally, if I’m flexible about destination, but that’s about it.
+1 – I get Going’s free emails and have never found a deal that was useful. This week they are giving free subscribers sneak peeks of their premium deals and, again, all have been completely useless for my K-12 schedule. My husband is a teacher so we really have no flexibility.
I do use Google flights to search and set up alerts for when a price drops on a specific route and dates I am interested in, but even that isn’t super helpful because a lot of the price drops are for 3rd party travel sites that I am not willing to risk buying from.
I generally have specific date/time considerations for flights, and while I’m inherently cheap, I’ve learned over time that the best deals are rarely ones that I want to take advantage of. The dates don’t work, or I’m not willing to fly as early/late in the day as they require me to.
I start with kayak . com or google flights, and then go from there.
There are also alerts/newsletters you can sign up for – for a while I was getting Scott’s Cheap Flights (now called Going, I think)
But 99% of getting cheap flights is:
1- flying off peak
2- flexibility on timing
3- flexibility on destination
If you try Going, I’d start with the free version first – you have to figure out “Am I the kind of traveler who is going to “decide to go to Greece 6 months from now on the spur of the moment” and then enjoy that trip? It’s not going to work for you if you need to eg. spend a couple weeks deciding if Greece is really where you want to go, figuring out if you can take those dates off, etc
the ways we get amazing deals are through flexibility, mostly. If you have a particular destination and dates in mind, then set an alert in Google Flights.
I follow the RSS feeds for The Flight Deal and Secret Flying – both of them share flight deals/discounts. Typically it’s things like flying off season but there are times where the deals are errors or really good, might be worth subscribing just to get the alerts regularly.
If you’re not flying out of a major centre it can be useful to set an alert for deals from the major airport with direct flights to your destinations, and then call the airline to get a quote for adding a connection to your airport (or consider making the drive and overnighting).
About 50% of the flights I booked are valid Star Alliance connections bookable as one ticket but they are not available on the airline websites. I always have to call the airline or book via travel agent. Eg. flights July – Oct only via Star Alliance partner vacation discount airline via closer major airport vs. year round flights on mainline airline Star Alliance partner airline from further away airport.
Also, consider alternative landing spots. Like Paris and Zurich are only 4 hours apart by train and the train station is directly in the Zurich airport. So an inexpensive direct flight to Zurich and a train to Paris might be cheaper than an connecting flight to Paris.
I could use some help prioritizing today, as I’m feeling overwhelmed and on the verge of tears.
I have a professional exam on the 27th (CPA) that is stressing me out to the point that I’m struggling to set aside my anxiety during the work day. I have a few not-urgent but important work projects that I am getting behind on because I can’t seem to focus. I feel like I’m letting people down in the office, but I also fear that my inattentiveness is blending into my studying as well.
Some triage ideas:
– Taking sick leave next week to alleviate my guilt about being unproductive.
– Letting colleagues know what is going on.
– Mentally setting aside projects until after the exam.
Any advice?
All three.
Anxiety meds? Hydroxyzine works wonders for me although I have to take it at night since it makes very drowsy.
I don’t think I would want to take new meds with the possibility of drowsiness and impaired judgment right before a major exam.
It completely leaves your body in like 48 hours so I don’t think it’s a big risk to try it now since the exam is almost two weeks away. Definitely wouldn’t try a new med the day before the exam, but she has a lot of time. (And fwiw I function fine the following day if I take it at night, and I know plenty of people who can take it in the morning – I think I have a stronger reaction to it in terms of drowsiness than average).
Your current company wants you to pass, right? If that’s the case, and you have a supportive manager, is there any chance of some of the work being taken off your plate for the next two weeks?
This is a big deal and failing will only make life harder later– i would have taken at least this week off… not sure if it’s exactly the same but i’m a lawyer and back in the day periodically worked with people who had failed the bar and so were retaking while working and they all took a week or two off before. you’re saying sick leave, i dont know how your office works but yes! take time! also how do your colleagues not know? how is this a secret? and yes set it aside… all of these sound reasonable other than pretending you are sick.
I should have included that I’m a federal employee and on a short-term detail with another agency, hence the need to take formal leave.
The exam is related, but not required for my current job so I feel a bit conflicted using on the clock time for preparation.
Absolutely take leave. Incoming leadership wants to fire 90% of Feds and make employees feel like villains. Go to your doctor to get a note for anxiety if you need it for more than 3 days out.
All three. Think of the time off as investment in yourself. If the next administration does lay off 90% of feds, then passing this exam gives you more opportunities in the private sector. Make yourself your top priortity.
Do all three, guilt-free.
CPA exams are a big deal and, I say this kindly, being stressed out is a VERY NORMAL reaction. Talk to your colleagues to let them know that you have the exam coming up and ask for some time off to focus on studying. Everyone will understand. And, order yourself a half dozen cookies from a local delivery service. Don’t ask me how, but the world will seem a lot better indulgently eating some cookies.
I know the feeling! And it will get much, much better if you know you have adequate time to do those non-exam projects later. So: do whatever’s necessary to buy a few more weeks on those. Go to your coworkers, go to your boss, talk with the client if that’s appropriate. If I were any of those three, I’d be happy to get you the extensions you need.
And good luck! Keep us updated.
Any recommendations for a weekend in Nashville next month? It will just be DH and me, and neither of us have been before.
DH &I went in February years ago (great time of year to go – the weather is cool but mild). The food was the highlight for me, it’s really a great food city (up there with Charleston imo). I had one of the best meals of my life at The Farm House; I legit still think about it all the time. Other places we really enjoyed: Hattie B’s, Biscuit Love, Southern Steak & Oyster, Monell’s, Frothy Monkey for coffee.
We also saw a show at the Grand Ole Opry, which is a lot of fun even if you’re not a country music superfan.
Where do you intend to stay and what kind of interests do you have?
See if there is anyone playing at the Ryman that you like. Note that some seats are obstructed, and the best sound in the house is on the balcony right in front of the sound booth. These seats also have the advantage that with the booth directly at your back you can stand up when you like without annoying anyone. This is key because the pew seating is heinously uncomfortable.
We’re staying in the downtown area (but not too close to Broadway). We tend to prioritize good food and also enjoy country music, so want to go to some live music venues.
In addition to the other excellent recommendations you’ve received, I’d add Bourbon Steak restaurant and The Listening Room. Bourbon Steak may have the best views in town and the menu encompasses much more than steak.
There is a Facebook group Foodies of Nashville that has great info.
Forgot one of my favorite recommendations – Jack Black’s Third Man Records. Music store, bar, album pressing and tours thereof, a shop, all rolled into one. They have a 1947 Voice-O-Graph recording booth where you can record two minutes of audio and get a 6″ disc of it. Call for availability on that part.
The Local, near Centennial Park, is a dive bar that is not the Broadway chaos if you want to hear country music sans Bachelorettes.
12 South is a great shopping district if you want to walk around and see a little of the city and eat in local places. Epice is a fantastic Lebanese restaurant, The Henry is new and sort of French, Fonda is a NYC tex Mex restaurant, there is a new wine bar across the street.
East Nashville is the best place for cool cocktails, but bars/restaurants aren’t close together. Just plan to uber. Tiger Bar is fun for drinks. Fancy Pants is great for a super interesting, well curated dinner. Lyra is fantastic middle Eastern Food.
Chauhan Ale and Masala House, Choy and Mockingbird are all Maneet Chauhan restaurants if you like food network and they are in the same building.
The Bobby Hotel, the Noel and the Dream Hotels are all downtown with fun bars that aren’t super whoo-hoo girl filled if you want a creative cocktail.
The Country Music Hall of Fame is good if you like campy music history. The African American Music Museum is incredibly cool if you want something to do indoors. It’s underneath 5th and Broad, which is kind of a downtown food court of only local vendors, also a fun place.
Broadway is an experience. It’s loud, dirty and chaotic, sort of honky tonk New Orleans, if you’re down for a party crowd.
I love my city — welcome and have a great time!
Station inn for a lovely old school bluegrass experience
Station Inn is absolutely fantastic
Go to a singer-songwriter show at the Bluebird Cafe! You have to get tickets right as they’re released on the website, but it’s a lot of fun.
These are all so helpful- thank you!!
Planning to throw a scavenger hunt party for DD’s 10th birthday. She wants to invite 12 girls, so likely teams of 4. And we’re doing photo and video challenges around the neighborhood (there will be driving). Has anyone thrown a scavenger hunt party before? Any tips? We’re going to end at our house and give awards and have pizza and cake. I’m thinking it’s a three hour party. This is a higher degree of difficulty than I’m used to so would love any wisdom!
I did one for my daughter’s birthday many years ago. It sounds simpler than yours—kids were in first grade, so just simple, written clues—and what they “found” at the end of the hunt was their take home (retro jacks sets). It was a huge hit.
If it’s four teams, who will be driving the girls around? My kids are a little younger, but I wouldn’t be cool with someone I didn’t know driving them around. Can you change the game so that you are staying within walking distance of your house?
If it’s only 12 girls I’m guessing she knows the parents. I’d be fine with my daughter’s friends’ parents driving her, and I think most people would be fine with that.
Me, my husband and my sister whom they all know. They’ve been in school together for six years so I’m not worried about that for this group. Everyone knows each other and this is a pretty chill group of parents. Also going to try to minimize driving since that’s the least fun part. I’m thinking a park, thrift store, kids’ school, and maybe that’s it. Want to leave some space for creativity too though.
But four teams probably requires four drivers. I’m fine with the parents of my kid’s friends driving my kids, I know them. I wouldn’t be cool with one of the parent’s friends – who i don’t know – driving around a group of kids.
Here, it sounds like it won’t be an issue because the girls’ parents all know the people who will be driving
Three teams! We have three three row SUVs to use! We have four kids and have two cars that can fit them all and I’m borrowing one! It’s funny I didn’t even think about how that would sound crazy ha!
Yeah, another girl in this group did a party recently where they drove around and danced on a party bus, which sounded a lot crazier. Didn’t really realize that was the plan until pickup, but girls all had a blast. This plan is actually pretty tame comparatively I think. The girls all know my sister by name and call her Aunt, so it should be a good division of teams!
So much fun! Do a search on “road rally scavenger hunt” for some ideas on clues, etc.
My sister did a scavenger hunt for my 10 yr old niece and it was at the mall. So everything revolved around her favorite stores, including a fun candy place. I’m not sure of all the details, but they had a blast. She only had a few friends so it may not be affordable for a bigger group. But at least they could run around and not worry about driving.
Lately, my 10-year-old daughter has been watching me put on makeup. It’s sweet, and yet I feel a little bit bad that I’m setting an example of makeup being a daily thing. I go for an overall natural look, but I do put on a full face. It’s what I feel most comfortable with, and I’m efficient enough that it takes only 5-10 minutes at most. When she asks questions, I try to keep it positive, like, “oh, I like that this eyeliner shows off my eyes!” or, “I find it fun to put on eyeshadow, it’s like painting!” Both are true. I’m not saying things like, “I wear foundation because my complexion is ruddy no matter how on-point my skin care is. And I wear concealer because I hate my undereye shadows and how tired they make me look.” Still. I realize I’m probably reinforcing beauty standards and feeling kinda crappy about it.
Every day? Even on a Sunday for hanging out at home and going to target? For going on a hike? If you’re worried about the message spending 10 minutes doing a full face of makeup everyday sends, stop doing it. Because you’re right to be worried and sounds like deep down you aren’t doing it just cause it’s fun. Try a tinted SPF moisturizer, mascara, and a lip gloss from time to time. Get used to how your face looks naturally.
Nah, I wouldn’t wear makeup to go hiking or whatever. But for work? Yes, always.
Haha I grew up seeing my Mom put on makeup every day for work. Also, Christmas morning. She’d tell me to put on lip gloss in high school.
Yet she managed to raise a scientist who only wears makeup for pictures and special events. As long as you’re not lecturing your daughter about how women have to wear makeup to succeed in life, I think it’ll be ok.
Oh my god she’s spending ten minutes doing a basic look, she isn’t applying false lashes and a smokey eye daily. There’s nothing wrong with OP. Her daughter isn’t going to develop crippling insecurities just because she wears eyeliner.
No, but she may well develop insecurities – like it sounds like her mom has.
There are MANY women in professional settings who spent a couple minutes on makeup and still get ahead and are very successful. I’m one of them. Let’s model that.
This is obnoxious and rude.
It’s pretty funny that you think your two minutes is so far superior to 10 minutes.
Leave OP alone. She wears makeup. She likes makeup.
LOL, I’m not sure what makes us so different. You’re still wearing makeup, yes?
Yea, pretty judge-y for someone who may only take 2 minutes to do make-up because they were born with good genetics and perfect skin.
Wear what you want to wear and tell your daughter you like how it makes you look.
I promise that your daughter is going to absorb “beauty standards” no matter what you do. All you can do is model reasonable and realistic. Wearing makeup when you want is not something you need to forgo in an effort to be a perfect parent.
Also, she is not too young to start talking about self-presentation and to understand that while it might be arbitrary there are societal standards around what people wear in terms of both clothing and make-up for different settings. You wear make-up and more formal clothing at work than you do when you are out hiking. (It is also worth pointing out that her dad shaves assuming that is true.) What you wear to a wedding is not what you wear to a funeral, which is not what you wear when you are hanging out with friends. Humans are social animals and how we look and the messages we send are important.
Whether men shave or not, they do get regular haircuts and a guy with super unkempt hair is not gonna be regarded well in the workplace, so maybe that’s another message about basic grooming.
Makeup doesn’t have to be part of anyone’s basic grooming, but if you like it, OP, that’s the message for your daughter.
You like it. You like how it makes you look. You know it’s optional, she doesn’t have to do it, but you choose to do it for yourself.
I guess I’d steer clear of “I hate my under eye circles” or talking with distain about your complexion. Just cast it in a more positive light, like I like how this BB cream smooths out my complexion. More neutrality.
Bernie Sanders regularly looks like he just rolled out of bed and it annoys me to no end that he can get away with that without any criticism of his disheveled appearance.
People make fun of his appearance all the time. The difference is he has the confidence to own it and not care. I take a similar approach and it’s fine.
Agree with this. My working mother wore (still wears, most days, in her mid-70s) makeup every day, spritzed perfume, always fixed her hair and wore beautiful outfits. I loved watching her routine, and have fond memories of the conversations we had during those times. Today, I’m a successful, senior-level lawyer, wear minimal makeup, haven’t had a hair cut in a year, and never wear perfume. Your daughter is fine, OP, enjoy the time you spend together.
If you can, I would just give yourself permission not to worry about this. Your daughter will eventually make up her own mind about whether she wants to wear makeup or not. In the absolute worst-case scenario, she internalizes that she should wear makeup on work days. So what? That’s what you do, and I bet it doesn’t cause you much grief. You’re not teaching her it’s wrong to skip make-up or that she has to wear it. As my kids have gotten older, there have been several things that I have just affirmatively decided “I will not care about this. I don’t have to be a perfect parent. I don’t have to optimize every thing I do.” So far, so good.
Thank you for this. I’m being truthful when I say there are parts I really enjoy about wearing makeup, and yes, I also use it to cover things I’m less wild about. I actually DON’T feel bad about presenting myself a certain way at work, which involves wearing makeup. That’s highly unlikely to change. I would hope that she knows makeup isn’t a requirement for anyone, and that’s a message I can continue to reinforce. There are plenty of times she sees me without makeup, she knows what my face looks like, lol!
Yeah. My mom would put on a full face every day and when I was young I thought it was very silly of her. I’m in my 40s and don’t put anything on my face now except moisturizer, and occasionally the Jones Road Miracle Balm. Most people are going to be who they’re meant to be. Don’t worry about it.
+1 and my mom never wore makeup a day in her life, but I do a 10 minute routine for workdays as well.
I honestly wish my mom had normalized this more and involved me more. She was so accepting of me as I was, and kept her own routines so private, that sometimes I feel like I was raised like a feral hippie? I think there’s just no right way! I like how you are handling it though by keeping it positive and emphasizing agency and choice.
Yes, there’s that, too! I’ve seen many commenters on this site lament that their moms didn’t teach them beauty stuff. So we really can’t win; might as well do what we feel is best for us.
Right? My mom NEVER wore makeup, so I learned from my fellow middle schoolers. There was an unfortunate amount of silver glitter eyeshadow.
To be fair, as a middle schooler you probably would have still used glitter even if your mom was a makeup pro. It’s a fun part of growing up! There’s no need to discourage it.
My mom wore a full face of makeup every day when I was growing up. At the same time, she was weirdly resistant to tweenage me wearing anything beyond chap stick. Her horrified reaction scared me off it for years. I internalized the idea that wanting to wear makeup meant I was one step from the wh0rehouse, and never learned how to do even the most basic looks. In my mid 40s, I don’t wear much makeup and don’t do it often, but I am starting to learn because there are some occasions where I just want a little something beyond my natural face.
I watched my mom do her make up every day (including weekends) for literally years and yet I wear make up very sporadically and never a full face. What I learned from watching her is that I don’t have the interest/attention to detail/ whatever to do that and I’m willing to look less than my best. I do have a senior level job, but I’m a chemist, so expectations are low!
FWIW, I never wear makeup (except chapstick and sometimes lotion), and my 3yo daughter loooooooves “putting makeup on”, i.e., using makeup brushes all over her face. Just remember that you can model whatever behavior you want but you can’t control what your kid will be interested in.
are you sure it’s not just cause she wants to hang out with you and learn more about you? My son loves sitting with my while I do my 5-10 minute routine in the morning, he likes when he’s right about selecting the right product/tool. It’s our little morning routine!
Kids are excellent mirrors to show us the things we didn’t realize that we don’t like about ourselves. Sounds like you’re more insecure about your appearance than you’d like to admit. But aren’t we all?
Kids will pick up negative societal messaging no matter what we do, and they’ll pick up plenty of our (the parents) bad habits. In the grand scheme of things, daily full face makeup isn’t one of the worst bad habits. And if it really bothers you, you can change it! Just pick your battles, since you’ll never be perfect, much as we’d like to set a perfect example for our children.
I think it’s better for your daughter to get her examples and messaging from you than from the rest of the world.
Why do you think this? I guess I’m comparing it to getting a parent’s opinion about world events as opposed to an avenue like a newspaper. Why is a parent’s messaging better? She should be reading magazines and articles about her areas of interest (fashion, make up, world events) so she has the benefit of many many perspectives and start to form her separate identity.
Her daughter is 10 years old. This is a basic part of parenting. OP seems like a thoughtful person, and it’s better for her daughter to receive nuanced, balanced messaging from her mother than it is for her to receive all kinds of unfiltered toxic messaging from a wide world that has created impossible beauty standards for women.
A parent’s job is to teach her children to discern which information is correct and which messages are positive. When my daughter was that age I talked with her about makeup and beauty and fashion, why I made the choices I made in these areas, and what messages she was getting from peers and other sources. The goal wasn’t to tell her what to think, but to teach her to think for herself and to avoid being used for others’ gain.
I tell my daughter that we’re primates, that all primates have grooming and social rituals, and that this is one of them. It’s what I honestly believe.
I love that you brought up primates, because I bring up mammals a lot. We are mammals. Having been through pregnancy childbirth myself just reminded me that we are very much animals and not as far removed from the greater animal Kingdom as we tend to think we are.
So much this! Every culture has customs and standards for what it beautiful, even if we change our bodies. Those who act like they are above it all would likely learn that they do, in fact, judge people on their looks if they were given a social-psychologist test where they were forced to rate competence in a split second.
I would let go of the guilt – you aren’t criticizing yourself (or even worse, her) just by putting on makeup. We live in the world. There are beauty standards that we can follow, or choose not to follow.
Yes, you’re reinforcing beauty standards. Why not talk to her about those standards? The problem here really isn’t that you use or like makeup – it’s that you’re BSing your daughter about all the reasons you wear makeup. You’re not giving her the tools to deal with pressure to conform to beauty standards, or to consider whether to wear makeup (and how much) when she grows up.
I disagree. I tell my daughter that I wear eyeliner and mascara because it draws focus to my eyes, which is true! There’s nothing wrong with wanting people to look at my eyes when I’m talking to them. I tell her that I wear high heels because I feel tall inside even though I’m of middling height. This is also true and not some sort of moral failing. I tell her that I wear a suit to court to show everyone there that I am taking my job very seriously. Again, true.
If you wear makeup every day, obviously it’s consistent with your values. Why would you be worried about passing those values along to your daughter? 10 years old is old enough to explain nuance like, it’s a shame that women have to wear makeup and men don’t, but that’s just the reality of the professional world, so I adhere to those standards even though sometimes I wish I didn’t have to. Or whatever your personal reasoning is.
If I was the daughter I would hardcore judge her for adhering to nonsense standards. I’d have far more respect for someone who just owned it and said “my face looks prettier this way and I prefer it.”
Any recommendations for wide-legged jeans or wide-legged work pants that have a medium rise (or probably what is called a low-rise today)? I find high-waisted pants SO uncomfortable for some reason. It just doesn’t work well for my body.
Kut from the Kloth Meg jeans. Any of the blue denim washes run huge, so size down at least one. Other washes and fabrics are still large but more TTS.
They look great but are described as high rise
They aren’t actually high rise. They are more like a 10″ rise, which these days counts as a mid rise.
Ugh, this is why being short-waisted right now is such a PITA. That would hit at or above my belly button. But thank you for clarifying – that is helpful info!
There’s no world in which 10″ is mid-rise. That’s high rise.
Mid-rise used to be 7.5 – 8.5 inches. Now it seems to be more like 9.5 – 10.5 inches.
I bought the Giacomo pants from Sezane — they are more expensive than I typically spend, but they’re comfortable, slightly low-rise, and wear well:
https://www.sezane.com/us/product/giacomo-trousers/black
The Collette pants from Anthropologie.
The Colette pants almost come up to my bra line. I wish they worked for me, but the rise is way too high on me. I’d love something similar with a lower rise.
Don’t the colette pants come in petite?
JCrew has wide-leg trouser jeans in medium and low rises.
I recently bought a pair of rolled-hem wide leg jeans from the brand Risen on Social Threads, and I like them. When I’ve tried wide leg pants in the current trend cycle, they somehow made me look and feel…. wider? bulkier? This pair is well-cut around the waist and hips, and the fabric is stiff enough to be cool, but not too stiff.
What’s your relationship with your college alma mater like? Do you feel a strong connection to it? Has it changed over time?
I was thinking about this today because I received a letter from my alma mater recently and it kind of felt like it was from another universe. I felt like I fit in there at the time, but increasingly I feel distant from the communications it puts out. The cultural undertones, types of events and speakers they highlight, and sense of superiority all just rub me the wrong way!
No, and I’m someone who has served on the alumni chapter board and various alumni committees. No connection whatsoever, except that we exist in the same universe.
My college alma mater changed my life and I still feel highly connected. It’s definitely changed/evolved a ton since I was there, but it’s an important part of my story and remains a big piece of my identity even now, in my 40’s.
Very strong connection to my Ivy undergrad. Closest friends are from there, my family visits campus when in the area or for reunions, I attend local alumni events. A couple neighbors and coworkers went there also, from a range of years, so it comes up in conversation every few months. Very weak connection to my Ivy business school. Only two people I’d consider close friends, a number of people that I run into professionally and socially and am happy to see but don’t otherwise foster a relationship with, similar feeling as you when I see something from the school or alumni org itself.
I don’t give to my college or my law/grad school. I have a lot of animosity towards my law school for jacking up tuition without raising scholarships, resulting in my taking on quite a bit of unplanned debt that limited our choices for the next decade. I chose a lower-ranked school that offered merit aid partly to avoid debt, and ended up with a less valuable degree at a much more significant cost than I anticipated. I will never give that institution a dime.
I also have some regrets about my choice of college and the choices I made while I was there. These choices were mostly based on the facts that 1) my parents could not afford to pay anything (my EFC was literally $0) and 2) I had no support or guidance to steer me towards some alternative paths that were actually feasible even given #1. Some of my bad feelings also stem from the major I chose, my approach to it, and a lack of mentoring and guidance in the program. I did not pursue a career in the field and laid it aside for more two decades after graduation, then returned to the field in an amateur capacity a few years ago. My alma mater is a powerhouse in the field, and I now feel some pride in having made it through the program. But I still won’t donate any money to the university. My giving is prioritized for organizations with which I’m currently involved.
I do feel connected. It was a formative experience for me in many ways, and the place I met some of the people who are still my closest friends more than 20 years later. Also, my now-spouse went to a graduate program at the same university many years later, and as a result we lived nearby for a while, so I was still plugged into the neighborhood and local issues as an adult at times. I do think it’s changed in some ways, but that doesn’t mean I’m less connected to it – even when I was there, I felt like a big part of the school’s vibe was that it embraces constant change. I don’t necessarily agree with all the changes, but that doesn’t really rub me the wrong way; there were things I didn’t agree with when I was there too, but it still was overall a really positive experience for me.
I went to a UC school, but now live on the east coast where there are comparatively very few UC alumni. I feel moderately connected, at best. I am almost 20 years out at this point, and most of my closest friends are people I met after college or people I knew from growing up. I will still cheer for the football team and basketball team if they are playing (but rarely / never seek out a game to watch), but beyond that, I do not feel a strong connection.
I have more closer friends from law school, but I also do not feel a super strong connection to my law school.
I am a UC alumna in the SEUS, and agree that it’s difficult to feel connected to a school that’s on the other side of the country and that no one around here has attended. I have kept up with one friend from school, but that’s it. I’ve also noticed that large public schools don’t have the same kind of alumni engagement infrastructure that small private schools do.
it depends, i’m from the northeast and now live in Texas and UT and A&M have some of the strongest alumni networks in the country with robust alumni engagement infrastructure. the sports aspect also helps.
But it’s not high per capita. Small schools have light higher per capita engagement, even if it is meh.
My dad is an A&M alum for undergrad (UT for med school, but I don’t think he cares about UT at all) and judging by the amount of Aggies stuff he’s gifted my kids, he still feels very connected. He cried when the bonfire collapsed, and A&M is also part of his estate planning.
I feel no connection to my undergrad schools, I didn’t graduate from either of the ones I attended in person, and have not kept in touch with any of my fellow students there. My “alumni network” is from my time in the military, but obviously I don’t donate any money to them unless you count taxes.
No connection at all. I don’t live in the same city anymore and most of my close friends from that city I met after college anyway. I don’t resent it or anything and I’m very happy with the education I got there, but that was almost 20 years ago.
I’m decades out of college, but I paid loans until I was 35 and I felt like they got enough of my money. They don’t want anything else from me, really.
That said, I did go back to the department I majored in a few times to talk about my career in that field, because I thought that would be helpful to students. I remember feeling very confused about what my career might be when I was doing the major, so that was my motivation. But in terms of giving them any money, I’m an absolute no.
At best, my alma mater makes me feel annoyed.
There were only a handful of students with my major, all of us in different years. I had to fight to force the school to offer all 300-level and up classes required for my major. The school canceled them every semester due to “low enrollment” numbers in the class. During the junior year career fair, they assigned me to a completely unrelated sector’s cohort because it was close to my major in the alphabet (think finance majors being assigned to the film majors cohort). They didn’t tell me about this; I only discovered it when doing speed dating interviews with very confused industry recruiters (from a different industry). Turns out the school didn’t invite any reps from my sector, again, because of low numbers. During my time there, they wanted to drum up interest in their new satellite campus. They forced this by moving certain gen ed classes to the satellite campus 15 miles away, refused to provide transportation to on-campus students, and stopped offering those required gen eds at the main campus. And they scheduled the gen eds for mid-day, smack between all the other required classes only offered back on the main campus.
For context, I went to a large state U with a nationally popular football program, not a podunk no-name place. The only interaction I have two decades out is to throw away their glossy annual magazine and block their solicitation call phone numbers.
I used to feel a VERY strong connection to my colleague alma mater, which is an ivy league where i met DH and made many of my lifelong best friends, who i talk to weekly, though unfortunately dont live near any of them anymore. however, i am Jewish and my school spent a lot of time in the news post October 7th, which completely changed how i feel about the institution. I used to always want my kids to go there (if it’s the right place for them), but now I do not know (my kids are little and have plenty of time until college so i’m not really thinking so much about this right now). I feel a much stronger connection to my undergraduate institution rather than my graduate institution (which also spent a lot of time making headlines post-October 7, unfortunately).
As a Jewish person I was relieved to see that my alma mater cracked down on violent, destructive, overly disruptive, and hateful protests. If I had teenagers right now I wouldn’t want them at one of those colleges where campus life was completely taken over.
I feel an immense connection to the school I attended and the friends I made there, but that school morphed to where I no longer recognize it.
I went to State U but as an OOS student for 1/3 more than in-state people paid. Now, OOS tuition is over 3x the in-state rate. And it so fun, in a free-wheeling sense of fun (sort of like Animal House Very Very Lite). Now, it seems that the admins are all dour people who seek to crush the sense that someone is having fun somewhere. Anything remotely fun on-campus is banned (which IMO is horrible and much less safe for everyone, including townsfolk having to deal with that in their midst and anyone driving on the roads or trying not to hit drunk kids walking alone in the dark). I do not get it. The campus is academically stellar and sterile AF.
My school was fairly strict about alcohol on-campus (I’m a young GenX so late 90s) which meant that the big drinking got pushed off campus. This was probably great liability-wise for the school, but probably increased the actual number of Very Bad Things that happened to students. It’s apparently even stricter now, which I think is a mistake, but I don’t know how they go about changing that norm given the legal landscape.
My stepkid went to an SEC school. Fraternity houses are beautiful and seemed like a little Potemkin village. Also, freshman housing was 2-person apartments (1 kid to a room, 1 bathroom and kitchen), some of which are in the city and not on campus, which IMO is really rotten for them. Especially for freshman, things should be as close and as communal as possible vs kids who spent too much time on screen during COVID will have a solo room to retreat to and never really mesh with the college experience. The point of college is the community along side the academics and this just really shortchanges them if it’s a big school with an otherwise on-campus underclassman vibe.
I got this vibe from a lot of colleges during my daughter’s college search. The strident self-righteousness was there on the part of students when I was in college, but now instead of students v. “the man” as symbolized by the university, it’s now the university v. society, with the university taking the lead and egging the students on.
Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s.
OP specifically said she felt disconnected because of changes in the school’s attitude.
OP specifically said she felt disconnected because of changes in the school’s attitude.
Self righteousness is an interesting description. I feel like you’re talking about student-led progressive social justice movements. Certainly the proponents of those can be self righteous but so are the opponents, in my experience. It’s self righteous to correct a well meaning person who inadvertently misgenders someone; it’s also self righteous to declare that respecting someone’s preferred pronouns is somehow an affront to your religious liberty.
I trust that you know the institution you’re speaking to f better than I do. However, if I read its newspaper, I’d think my college’s students body skews further left than when I was there, even while the rest of the country lurches to the right. Maybe it does. Certainly the paper does. But the right wing manosphere, neo trad wife, anti vax, pro life, Christian nationalist movements are thriving and i have a very difficult time believing the prep school, frat legacy, county club kids I went to to school with and mostly socialized with are not subscribing to those ideologies. This can happen even while the student government issues some statement that induces eye rolls from even politically moderate alums. They don’t let the kappa social chair be a tour guide.
I attended Ivies and while I was happy with my experience and the doors it opened for me, I don’t feel particularly connected as an alum.
My parents (and then I) paid full tuition and the schools started hitting me up for donations before I even graduated, like gee I think I’ve contributed enough to your endowment at this time…
I feel moderately connected, more connected to my friends from college tbh. Some of this is probably self-protection – my kid is of college age and she may apply (admission is competitive and she may not get in).
The college definitely has focuses and interests that are different from the ones it had when I was there, but the world changes. There probably are things they could choose to do that would make me feel less connected and/or disconnect, but I don’t get the sense that they feel a sense of superiority over older alums. If anything, they are quite gracious and kind to us.
As for my law school, I didn’t feel particularly connected to it when I was there and I don’t feel connected 20-odd years after the experience. It has a strong reputation in my city, which is great career-wise and as a conversation starter, but I’m just not a true believer.
Undergrad, yes. Most of my close friends are friends from college, and we now live one town over from our college town, so we’re close by and still go to events on a fairly regular basis. It’s also a school with a bit of a cult following for one of it’s sports teams, which helps. My law school, on the other hand, absolutely not and they’ll never get a dime of my money. I went to law school in a major city and just wasn’t that close to my law school classmates for some reason, I think because many of us had other friends in the city.
I paid through the nose and had very little support in my undergrad. I later worked for the university and did go onto grad school. I keep in touch with individuals, but the institution will never get a cent from me.
State government is getting higher ed, and while my school has mostly been unscathed so far, eventually even it (pretty conservative Southern flagship R1) will either be targeted as woke or acquiesce in advance. Either way, it’ll further alienate people like me (non traditional student in a male dominated field)
Mixed. I went to a liberal arts college. Greatest years of my life. A pretty place in the middle of nowhere it was really amazing for 18 year old me. It was super old and the atmosphere was really neat. They taught me how to think; the professors were amazing. There was no such thing as a TA. Im still close to my college friends. We’re scattered but get together every year. Went to my 20th reunion and had a blast. I literally talk to my long distance bestie every week. Just the best memories. But I do think it kind of stinks to have gone to a college that almost no one has heard of and I think it’s crazy that I spent so much money to go full freight there. My parents had this attitude like college? Sure, please go to one, here is the money please don’t fail out. To be fair, my dad also went to a college no one has heard of and my mom didn’t go. I want so much more for my kids in college and in life and I’m constantly telling them they need to go to a college that people have at least heard of. So I really struggle with it and feel somewhat resentful and embarrassed to have not gone somewhere better. I literally dread people asking about it. People know my law school and its a reasonable place to have gone and it doesn’t shut down a conversation like talking about my undergrad does. I think even a local school as easy or easier to get into would have been better for me in the long run.
Careful what you wish for; my SLAC has name recognition but that comes with a lot of baggage and assumptions too. I had the same kind of experience there that you had at the place you went, but naming it shuts down conversations in its own way!
OP here. I echo the person above me re: careful what you wish for! My college has huge name recognition, but even though it’s top 20 academically, the first thing people always talk about is the football team. It’s very annoying and I don’t think I realized just how annoying until I became an alum. It means that every time someone asks where I went to school and I answer, I immediately have to have some discussion of the football team, which at this point I do not really care about.
Curious if you’d be willing to share what the college was. I have a child who would thrive in that kind of environment, but is dying for big name recognition. We’re currently trying to strike a balance with a school with that type of environment, but that has some name recognition.
I attended a very well-regarded state university that has a cult-like following by many alumni. I was lucky to live in-state and be accepted, but it was not the right school for me. I am grateful for the education and growth that I obtained from the school, but I do not feel particularly close to the school. Most of my college-friends remained in the immediate vicinity whereas I moved far away for law school. I struggle with supporting the university, even beyond monetarily, because I still see it mired in classism, racism, and misogyny.
I went to an HYPSM. I feel medium connected to it, I guess. Socially it was a great experience and I had made many close friends I’m still good friends with today. Academically it was not such a good experience. At the time I blamed the school for lack of support for undergrads in general and lack of interest in any kids not in the top 10%, which I thought and still think is absurd because at those kinds of schools every student is capable of having a great career. And I still feel that way. But in hindsight it wasn’t all the school’s fault. I was really really burned out after being incredibly accelerated (self-driven, not pushed by my parents) and I just needed a break. I think I probably would have had a better academic experience at a SLAC, but the truth is I was really burned out after high school and just ready to step off the intense academic/career track.
I don’t donate to the school and don’t really go to alumni events. I did briefly do admissions interviews and enjoyed it, but stopped when I had a baby and there were too many other demands on my time. I won’t push my kid to aim for those kind of schools (and doubt she could get in, since admission is so competitive now) but we’ll support her going there if she wants to and can get in.
I’m going to be launching my own consulting firm in 2025 — I have a few clients now and am as busy as I want to be, but want to figure out a way to make this work sustainable. All of my current clients are orgs that have approached me (I am on a work sabbatical after leaving a toxic job this summer) and that’s definitely a different vibe than “Here I am! Hire me!”
I’m going away to a friend’s cabin at the end of this month for two nights, with the goal of doing some reflecting and goal-setting around this professional work. Does anyone have any resources or suggestions, prompts, etc. that I should use/leverage/consider in advance as I go on this self-imposed retreat?
Lots of commenters think LinkedIn is cringe, but I love it and there’s lots of people talking about this exact subject on LinkedIn. Depending on what kind of consulting you’re doing, there’s lots of potential clients spending time there as well.
You might like reviewing work by Erica Schneider (41k followers, you might include “content sparring partner” if you Google her), she has a community for solopreneurs and talks a lot of about defining your offer, messaging, etc.
Some practical advice:
Figure out how you want to structure your offer vs. saying you can do anything. Retainer! Project-based! Hourly! Strategy! Execution! Deliverables! What, specifically, do you actually want to do? If you want to be a fractional role where you set up the systems and help them hire a team, and then step out after 6-8 months, that’s very different than working 10 hours per week as more of a contractor/extra set of capable hands to do a specialist set of tasks.
Which areas of your expertise do you really want to lean into? Again, too many people say they can do everything, and just position themselves for “marketing” (my field). Ok, but is that running a CRM? Is that writing long-form content? Is that managing ads? Is that running messaging and positioning workshops? You can always expand, but it’s easier to pick a niche when you’re first starting out.
Some of you have asked about how to support recovery from the Eaton Fire out here in Altadena. The Pasadena Community Foundation has been around for a very long time and is doing boots-on-the-ground work for fire victims. They started with $100,000 seed money and as of yesterday the fund had grown to more than $3 million. I promise they would really put any donations to very good use: https://pasadenacf.org/supporting-our-community-eaton-canyon-fire-relief-recovery-fund/
More info here: https://pasadenanow.com/main/community-led-wildfire-recovery-strengthened-by-local-leaders-and-key-partnerships
As a fellow Californian, I just want to point out for people who may not know, Altadena and Pasadena are neighboring communities.
Thanks, Anon. I was at a meeting yesterday and we were saying “We’re all ‘Denas!” (Also looking at you, South Pasadena!)
Where do you buy s*xy lingerie not intended for daily use? i am looking to spice things up.
Intimissimi
https://www.thistleandspire.com/