Corporette.com

Updated: Jan 19, 2021 478 Comments · by

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: The Coverup Turtleneck Bodysuit

The Personal Shopper (TPS) | ·

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Good American is one of my favorite size-inclusive brands on the market today.

I’ll admit I was initially dubious about Khloe Kardashian’s foray into the fashion world (nothing against Khloe, I’m just always hesitant about any actor/singer/reality star who decides to start making clothes), but the Good Legs Jeans have made me a true believer.

This black turtleneck bodysuit looks like it could be a wardrobe workhorse. It’s made of a stretchy, slightly compressive material, so you’ll get a nice smooth look without adding shapewear. I would wear this with high-waisted pants and a blazer, or an A-line skirt.

The bodysuit is $115 and available in sizes L–2XL. The Coverup Turtleneck Bodysuit

An option in straight sizes is from Bayse for $63 at Nordstrom. 

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Clementine

    I come on here all the time to ask for advice and get such awesome tidbits. For today: what’s something you asked for advice/input on, did you take that advice, and how did it turn out.

    For me: I had a (fine) master bathroom which was where beige went to die. Shower was that beige colored unglazed tile that was so popular about 10-15 years ago when we all wanted things to look ‘Tuscan’ and the walls were the beigest of beiges, with a (shockingly) beige floor.

    They were good quality materials so I asked for some suggestions of how to change it up. I took the advice and we ended up painting the walls with SW Sea Salt which made it look beachy and modern. We also swapped out the vanity for one we bought on super sale (another suggestion from here!) which is white and light rather than the weird dark ‘supposed to look like heavy ornate furniture’ one that was there before and the mirror for a great one from West Elm.

    We’re thrilled and did an awesome cosmetic re-do for not that much money and basically in a weekend.

    • Ellen

      I came to this websight a few years ago getting help from the hive trying to figure out why I, as a legal graduate and JD admitted to the bar, had so many difficulties trying to get a real legal job. Through careful listening to the hivettes of the day, some of whom have since retired, I learned about how to navigate the law and the practice, and my personal life; and with the help of this hive, did so, moving from one job to another, leaving my then boyfreind, and establishing myself as a force in WC law, which I never learned about in law school. I thank Kat, Kate, Elizabeth and the hivettes who have been at my side all along. So as we move to our 3rd president (from OBama, Trump and now Biden), I look forward to continued freindship with the hive. We all work so well together! YAY!!!!!

    • anon

      Woo hoo! I was one of the posters who suggested Sea Salt. I’m glad you love it! It’s amazing what a good paint job can do to liven up and modernize a space. I need to get cracking on my master bedroom, which is sort of a dull tan color that I’m itching to brighten up.

    • Anon for this

      I asked what to do about my QAnon father and his increasingly paranoid management of his and my mother’s finances. I was patted on the head and told I can’t do much, but maybe ask him for advice because parents like that. Luckily my mom has taken it into her own hands and is in the process of splitting their finances. I guess people just didn’t understand how awful Q is a year ago.

      • Anonymous

        Patted on the head? I cannot. You couldn’t do much turns out. But your mom could.

        • Anon for this

          :) okay, it was inflammatory language. But I wasn’t powerless, and I didn’t appreciate being told I was. In fact, it was the support I provided my mom to understand QAnon that helped her to crystallize the threat and take action. Deliberately acting as counter propaganda was critical. In fact, that’s backed up by the Reddit subs for family of Q cultists. If someone could have pointed me there earlier (I actually found the resources through this s!te later, so eventual win!), it would have accelerated my ability to help.

    • Curious

      I think I mostly reply to things but I get all my reading recommendations here.

    • Anon

      Years ago, a good friend with a consistent matchmaking winning streak had set me up with a very close friend of his who was recently divorced. My friend genuinely thought the friend was ready to move on. Turns out friend had SERIOUS baggage and I was all caught up trying to figure out what was wrong with me, why he hadn’t said I love you, and how I could help him work through his baggage, etc. The posters here were so caring and told me that it wasn’t about me, it was all about him, and he needed to do his own work. It sounds so obvious now, but I had never dated a divorced guy and I was too close to the situation and had been set up by my great friend with the matchmaking record so I had stars in my eyes, and I couldn’t see it.

      Six years later, I’m happily married, and that guy is still single. I’m so thankful for all the wise BTDT women who guided me that day.

    • Anon

      I asked for advice about voting in-person vs. by mail. The responses were very helpful. Thanks again!

    • Senior Attorney

      About seven years ago I asked (anonymously) about whether to leave my marriage, and you all said “hell, yes.” And I did.

      And then about five years ago I asked (anonymously) about whether to raise the issue of marriage with my then-Gentleman Friend, and you all said “hell, yes.” And I did.

      Great advice, ladies!

    • Anon

      This may be the true Happy New Year! Knowing I will (hopefully) never have to hear Trump speak on behalf of this nation ever again really does feel like fresh start in the best way possible.

    • Anon

      You sound classy. Would you be okay with a Republican saying that after the Obamas left?

      • Anon

        Trump earned his reputation as a dirty man. We are allowed to single out exceptionally bad people. Save the finger wagging for the men who put babies in cages.

          • Anon

            Lol, ok. I’ll clarify – instituting a formal policy of separating families at the border.

            I know you’re reaching to disparage our first Black president and do a faux intellectual “both sides” approach, but today is not the day.

          • Anon

            So I’m just gonna say this now: you know if you keep it up with these comments, you’re just going to get wrecked in responses by people who are far wittier and smarter than you, yes? Are you sure you’re up for that today? Maybe your time would be better spent over-applying your eye makeup, which seems to be a popular look among the pro-Trump women I’ve seen on Instagram.

          • Anony-mouse

            To Anon at 9:55 AM…as a fellow Democrat, your response is honestly one of the most obnoxious replies I’ve ever seen on this site.

          • Anon

            Anon at 12:32 – aw, thanks! I take that as a compliment. I understand that’s not how you meant it. :-)

      • Hazel

        Since the White House has in recent months been the site of several superspreader events, it’s a reasonable precaution, not a political jab.

      • Anon

        Hey Salty McSalto, it’s well-known that Trump discouraged people from wearing masks anywhere around him. People in and around the White House kept getting Covid because the staff was actively discouraged from taking basic precautions like wearing masks and using hand sanitizer. I wouldn’t walk into that place without a hazmat suit; there are probably active mutations in there the scientists haven’t even isolated yet. That’s all the comment meant. But I am glad you are here because Inauguration Day wouldn’t be half as enjoyable for me without some sad Trumpers here moaning and groaning about the demise of their Dear Leader. Stick around, I can use the entertainment today.

        • Anon

          Yes, because Trump and his followers are definitely paragons of self-control and shining examples of elegant rhetoric and reasonable dialogue. Give me a break.

      • Anon

        I wasn’t going for classy. I may be trashy, but I’m not the one putting racist dog-whistles out there. Good riddance to bad, COVID-spreading rubbish.

      • LaurenB

        They need to fumigate because there’s a global pandemic and many in the WH caught Covid. I realize you Trump supporters may not have heard the news.

        Don’t EVEN with any comparisons between how classy Obama was when he turned over the reins to Trump vs how much of a pathetic sore loser Trump has been in turning over to Biden.

      • Anon

        Hey, just FYI. The stock market did better under both Obama’s and Clinton’s first terms than it did under Trump’s. Enjoy your portfolio!

    • Anon

      CNN said a deep-cleaning crew had been contracted to come in and start sanitizing everything as soon as the Trumps left for the helicopter. God bless that crew, they have their work cut out for them.

      • Anon

        Yeah, I read it more about the COVID outbreak they had there and less about him as a person.

        • anon

          Yeah, I read it more about the COVID outbreak they had there and less about him as a person.

  5. anon

    I am so ready for Biden and Harris to be sworn in and Trump to be officially out. I hope this historic day goes smoothly.

  7. Anonymous

    Is anyone else bothered by the frequent use of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” in the context of memorial services and, even worse, as a Christmas song? It is a gorgeous, amazing piece of music with many layers of meaning, but at its core it is about $ex and power. As much as I love the song, it just seemed out of place last night. Maybe no one really listens to the lyrics?

    • Anon

      People misusing music is nothing new. Consider The Police song about stalking being used as a wedding dance, every politician ever using “Born in the USA”, Paul Ryan proclaiming his love for Rage Against the Machine.

      Unless you’re beating people over the head with obvious meaning, you’re wasting your time. The general public no longer understands irony or subtext. People try to ban Mark Twain’s work for racism, FFS.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t think the general public has ever understood more subtle forms communication, forget irony and subtext, I always see satire going right over peoples heads or even worse people believing it’s real.

      • Anon

        OTOH, playing My Heart Belongs to Daddy for father-daughter dances is so overtly creepy that I am comforted only by the fact that no one actually listens to the lyrics. But it’s not like they are poorly enunciated or it’s too subtle. Cole Porter hits you over the head with this.

        • Anon

          LOL I used “Unforgettable” for the father-daughter dance, and I did not mean it as a compliment. I played nice for the day, but I was not about to dance to a flowery ballad.

      • Seventh Sister

        The number of times I’ve tried to explain to people that “Losing My Religion” is not about actually losing one’s faith…

    • Lilau

      This should be taken with a giant grain of salt because I’m not a religious person, but while I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said, I think at least part of the genius of the song is that it takes the biblical elements (which, to your point, are stories about s€x and power) and makes them feel really accessible and modern. For example, “you don’t really care for music do you?” always feels to me like the kind of line you’d find in a piece of pop from a young male songwriter. So while, yes I agree there are elementsof faith s€X and power, it seems that as every turn we find this male figure sort of mistifyed and taken aback by female power over him. Thus, the divine (the biblical text) is recast with the common (“she broke my heart” sort of love song). I’d argue that the first heartbreak for a young man (at least in pop culture cliche )is a sort or reckoning with powerlessness and mortality.

      The lyrical rhetoric is reflected in the melody. I’m listening to modern American music that sounds, again to my not at all religious ears, like a solemn hymn that moves almost like a waltz. The lyrics are chaotic and sometimes alarming but the chorus always returns , steadily and faithfully. What’s more it declares “hallelujah”not in a moment of joy (as my non religious ears are accustomed to hearing it) but, reassuringly, in moments of heartbreak and anguish.

      Thus, from my perspective the song offers a reassurance of goodness, of perhaps faith during times or heartbreak, to those who do not identify with the religious elements, but experience the commons ones. I don’t need to know the story of David or Sampson to identify with the message, I can use human experience to identify with them and still be comforted in the chorus’s constant, defiant praise despite the solemn sadness with which it’s sung.

      I hate it when people misuse “born in the USA” though.

      • mascot

        Music is deeply personal so I can see how this song can be comforting to people even if if the lyrics aren’t exactly matching up. Similarly, I’m not going to get upset about people wanting to use “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan in memorials even though the song was written about heroin addiction. Maybe the memories and not drugs are the escape for that person. Not sure how it applies to animal shelters though…

    • Anon

      Yes, I’m very religious and it bothers me when it’s used in religious contexts. Great piece of music as art though.

    • Anonymous

      I’m more bothered by the (thankfully leaving!) leader of the free world exiting to YMCA.

    • Anon

      Most of the time, I think appropriation is an unhelpful concept, but I think it applies here. Christians appropriating a Jewish song and making all about them is tacky and typical.

      • Anonymous

        What even? It’s a brilliant pop song about human relationships that contains biblical references, not a Jewish religious song.

        • Anon

          It’s not a religious song, but Christians read the same Biblical passages VERY differently and project their own readings as if the Bible belonged to them.

          • Anon

            I guess my perspective is shaped in part by the Christians I know who are evangelical and extremely into purity culture, censorship, etc., who would be very scandalized by the song if they weren’t busy willfully imagining that it’s a Christian religious hymn (yes, this is really what they think it is).

          • LaurenB

            Well, then, you need to hang around better Christians than the evangelical purity type.

  9. Cb

    I feel like I should be cheerful, but I listened to The Daily’s interview with Trump supporters yesterday and my goodness, the US is well and truly broken. How do you fix this when trust in the government is so, so low.

    • Anonymous

      I’m choosing not to focus on that today. Whatever problems we face, we are more likely to tackle them well with a competent leader at the helm. No healing or good can come of being led by a racist rapist wannabe dictator with dementia.

    • Anon

      By denying Trump his opportunities to spread misinformation while simultaneously acting as the highest authority in the United States. It will take time but every day that goes by that the promised conspiracy theories don’t come to fruition, there’s more case to be made that Trump was wrong. His ban from social media has already curbed the spread of a lot of misinformation and fomenting of conspiracies. Facebook and Instagram need to ban him permanently, as Twitter did. There can’t be any more question that Trump is dangerous and is a danger to the country. Deplatforming him entirely won’t fix everything but it’s a start.

      • Lilau

        +1 I’m also optimistic that a Biden administration will work to stop white nationalist terrorist groups, which is something the trump administration refused to do.

    • anonnnn

      My perspective is that the US has been broken from the very beginning. As a woman, albeit a white one who benefits very much from a variety of privileges, a country that was built on stolen land and on a foundation of white supremacy, was never not broken IMO. I don’t know how we fix it, but I think it’s delusional to think the U.S. was doing a-okay before Trump was elected.

      • Anon

        I mostly feel this way, except I’m not sure we should identify “the US” with the supremacists and not with the people who actually built the country.

        • anonnnn

          I think I understand where you are coming from, but to me, the founders were white supremacists. It may have looked different then, but for sure they believed that white men were the superior population. I am happy to be furthered educated though!

          • Anon

            I guess I just don’t want to give them the victory of saying that this country is all about what they wanted! They aren’t the ones who did the work. Where would the US be without the people that white supremacists denigrated, enslaved, and oppressed?

      • Anonymous

        If you hate the US so much, and feel it’s irretrievably broken, why don’t you leave? We need people to step up and join the path to unity, as our new President has articulated. We don’t need people mired in self gratifying “isn’t it awful.” Just move to some perfect place and let the true Americans get on with it.

        • anonnnn

          I am not clear on where in my post I said it was irretrievably broken or that I hate the U.S.? I am staying/stay because I believe in change and believe that the country does need people to further that change. I participate locally and do my part to the extent I can with my career, not that I have any need to justify this to you. My point is that thinking everything was perfect before Trump is delusional. The problems have always been there, they are just more front and center now. \

      • Anon

        Yeah, I agree. I am doing my part to fix this and I am hopeful that the country is finally being steered in the correct direction, but I think pretending it’s not part of the story is not helpful.

    • Anon

      The rough neck at the end was reasonable, but yeah, the women interviewed by the Daily were frightening. I hope they were picking the craziest just to ease my mind, but I don’t think so.

      • Monday

        I actually didn’t make it through the episode. I do a lot to learn about people who think differently than I do, but I realized I wasn’t learning anything because the interviewees were saying only things I expected them to say. I was only getting scared and upset. So there wasn’t any value in making myself finish it.

    • anon

      I haven’t listened to that interview, but here’s my take as an American: we’re teenagers. I don’t know that Americans have ever had a lot of trust in the government, we always disparage it regardless of who is in charge or what they are doing. But like a teenager who ignores their parents, our general direction is guided by the government, and we expand on the both the good and the bad coming out of it.

      • Bonnie Kate

        AGREED! And we’re toddlers when it comes what it means to live life with the internet.

    • Anon

      I’m over bridging the gap with die hard trump supporters. After the insurrection and all the whataboutism following it, they’re a lost cause. Onward!

  10. clean freak

    Never thought I’d need to crowd source something so simple, but here we go…. best scrub brush to clean the shower? The cleaning brush I’d been using got lost in my recent move and the two replacements I’ve tried so far suck. The handle broke the first time I used the first one I tried and the second had soft bristles, not stiff ones that would actually scrub.

    • Anon

      I have two OXO ones, one regular and one designed for corners. They’ve lasted years so far and still look pretty good.

      • anne-on

        OXO and using a daily shower spray have made a HUGE difference for me. I have scent sensitivity and the Method Daily shower spray works really well.

    • Anon

      Agree with OXO, I’ve never been disappointed with any of their cleaning utensils.

      I’ve also been eyeing brush sets online that attach to a cordless drill or impact wrench. I love the idea of power cleaning my shower.

      • AnonATL

        I have one of the sets that attach to the drill. It’s satisfying but I think it misses a lot.
        To OP, we have a long rectangular one from Home Depot’s house brand that has a hole in the front for you to loop your finger through and really scrub. I don’t see it on their website anymore though..

    • Anon

      This sounds nuts, but our store was out of them, and my husband ended up grabbing a long-handled dish scrubbing brush from the kitchen section and I really like the leverage you get from the longer handle ha.

      • pugsnbourbon

        Yes – I use a long-handled brush to scrub the toiliet! I think it’s angled better to get under the lid.

    • Pompom

      My husband does the cleaning and last week, when he got into the shower to clean it…he brought the drill! He got a scrub attachment for his (battery, not corded) power drill for our circa 2002 beige textured shower tile surround.

      It’s super clean and takes no time…but it’s a bit overkill (insert cry laugh emoji here).

  11. BeenThatGuy

    For anyone interested, I have this bodysuit and it’s perfect. It’s very well made, the fabric wears and washes well and it looks great.

  12. Anon

    I’m about to accept a fed govt job and am trying to figure out the new maternity leave policy post FEPLA. My main concern is that the 12 week paid leave is only eligible if you’ve been at the government in a qualifying position for a year or more. I’m currently TTC, so I’m trying to figure out what my leave would look like if I get pregnant now and need to go on leave before the year mark. I wouldn’t have much leave accrued then, so I’m thinking it would be unpaid until I hit the year mark and then I could take the 12 weeks later. Has anyone encountered this yet? Also, is this something I could negotiate on? My gut is telling me it’s a bad look, but talks thus far have been willing to negotiate on everything (to my surprise), and the discussions would be with a totally separate office than the one I’m joining. TIA!

    • Anon

      I would not raise the subject. Also, you did not mention this, but if you take leave before the FEPLA kicks in, you will not have any FEPLA job protections. Unless you have fertility concerns, I would put TTC on the back burner for 3 months. Your first few months of pregnancy are also not likely the best time to be making a first impression in a new job.

    • Cat

      Is there a general HR type representative you have been working with (as opposed to just your manager-to-be)? I would ask them to clarify the policy very matter-of-fact. But ultimately I think you’ll want to put off TTC for a few months to avail yourself of the full paid leave.

      I would be very surprised if the “eligible for 12 weeks” is “the later of (1) giving birth or (2) being there a year,” vs. “if you give birth after being there a year.”

    • nuqotw

      The feds are able to negotiate some things and others they are constrained by law and/or institutional precedent. My guess is that the latter will kick in around parental leave. Try to find out the precedent if any for having a baby <1 year into the job.

      I had a kid pre-FEPLA and had more than 1 year at the job. I took all of my accrued paid leave concurrent with FMLA. There came a point when I was ready to work part time but not ready to go back to the office at all. My boss was super flexible about WFH so I could make my leave last longer – this flexibility was part of department precedent.

    • Anonymous

      If you want the paid leave take three months off from trying. No. You can’t take unpaid leave and follow on with 12 weeks paid and no you won’t be able to negotiate this.

    • Anon

      Either have the kid at your current job or put off TTC until you’ve been in a new job a little bit. This happens in state employment all the time, where folks get a job thinking cushy govt bennies, get knocked up, and then have to hobble along on FMLA unpaid leave for less time than they’d like.

      • Anon

        Technically, she wouldn’t even be FMLA eligible. Unless her state has pregnancy protection (mine does) her job would not be guaranteed. OP – wait 3 months to TTC.

        • Anon

          Federal employees are not covered by state employment laws. So, even if her state has a higher protection, it wouldn’t help her.

    • anon

      I’m a fed employee. I copied this straight from our HR FAQ page:

      (1) Does an employee need to invoke FMLA leave before using PPL (Paid Parental Leave)?

      Yes. Because PPL is used to substitute unpaid leave under FMLA for the birth of a child or placement of a child with the employee for adoption or foster care, the eligible employee must invoke FMLA before using PPL.

      (2) What happens if the employee has not completed the 12-month Federal service FMLA requirement at the time of the qualifying birth or placement event?

      An employee who is ineligible for FMLA leave at the time of a qualifying birth or placement event may establish FMLA leave eligibility during the 12-month period following the qualifying birth or placement event and use PPL during that period.

      FMLA, and subsequently PPL, cannot be invoked retroactively. Once FMLA leave eligibility is established and FMLA leave is invoked, an employee may then be able to substitute PPL in connection with a qualifying birth or placement.

      (3) What happens if an employee has invoked FMLA unpaid leave for other qualifying reasons during a 12-month period prior to the birth or placement of the employee’s child?

      Use of FMLA leave for purposes other than birth or placement of a child (e.g., leave based on a serious health condition) during a 12-month period may reduce the FMLA leave available for birth or placement purposes. Therefore, the amount of available PPL may also be reduced.

      (4) Does an employee need to use annual leave or sick leave before requesting PPL?

      No. Employees are not required to use annual leave or sick leave before requesting PPL.

      (5) When can PPL be used?

      An employee is entitled to substitute periods of unpaid leave under FMLA with PPL only during the 12-month period following the birth or placement of a child with the employee for adoption or foster care.

      (6) Can PPL be used intermittently?

      Yes. An employee may request to use FMLA leave intermittently for the birth or placement of a child and, therefore, may use PPL intermittently.

  13. Anon

    Those of you who research and think about these kinds of things, are there any clothing companies that you are entirely ethically comfortable with, from an environmental, labor AND corporate policy perspective?

    It seems like every company I look into has at least a few things wrong with it. I mostly default to using what I have or buying used, but sometimes you need to buy new (like underwear!) and I wonder if there’s really no way to avoid compromising on something.

    • Anonymous

      This is a very item-specific question. Most small truly ethical companies only produce a few categories of items. By keeping a small specialized stock list they can really oversee their supply chains, staff etc. Personally, I’m a big fan of Elizabeth Suzanne and the COB shop. But mostly I tend to stick to thrifting/consignment and sewing my own garments. Being a good person often means forgoing the instant gratification of capitalism and learning to sit with those feelings and reassessing needs vs wants.

      • Anon

        Thanks to WFH, I’m sitting here wearing 8 year old leggings with holes, a tank top I’ve had since college, and a sweater my grandmother knit for me when I was in HS. I haven’t bought a non-thrifted item of clothing since 2018 (almost nothing in 2020 because I don’t love online shopping). But the Time Has Come for new underwear and I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the (lack of) ethical options. I’ll look at Elizabeth Suzanne and COB and welcome any other suggestions you have!

      • Anon

        “Being a good person often means forgoing the instant gratification of capitalism and learning to sit with those feelings and reassessing needs vs wants.”

        Be careful, lest you suffer vertigo from the dizzying heights of your moral ground!

        This is how I know a number of people on this board do not actually have jobs, or at least not demanding ones: they have time to sit around and ponder how not buying new underwear makes them a better person than other people, and feel smug about it.

        • Monday

          No. You can’t just call anyone who wants to talk about consumer ethics a sanctimonious, non-working snob. We are allowed to talk about ambivalence in shopping on a shopping blog. Also, some of the hardest-working people I know (in social services and non-profits, like myself) spend the most time thinking about these issues.

          To answer the OP: no, I don’t have a particular brand that I always feel great about buying new. My only solution is to limit new purchases and try to make them all last.

        • Anonymous

          Oh f*ck off I literally write environmental policy for a living. The binary isn’t being a good person VS being successful, you can have both.

          • Anon

            So your job is thinking about this stuff. Other people who have other jobs don’t have the time to learn your job, too.

        • No Face

          I’m pretty sure people can think about their underwear choices and work in the same day.

          • anon

            The amount of thinking / research demanded by some on this board would be almost a full time job. Plus all the time to not outsource things (no Amazon, no housekeeper during covid, no meal kits because waste, no online shopping, no nanny unless you are paying on the books, top dollar, offering healthcare and vacation days (so also have backup care for all those days) Women with big jobs don’t have time for that

          • Monday

            “Women with big jobs” is haughty and rude. Everyone prioritizes their own time as they see fit.

          • anonshmanon

            What I’m hearing is: I work harder than literally everyone else (including 13 million Americans with 2 or more jobs) and I deserve everything I have and don’t question my choices because I work so much harder than all of you. I don’t think you get to use moral high ground accusations here. This thread was literally asking whether brands exist that have entirely ethical business practices. Like, the whole discussion is literally about finding the highest moral ground. If you can’t bear to think about the fact that a high-income-maximum-outsourcing lifestyle is not compatible with this question, then skip the bloody thread.

          • Anon

            Hey anon @11:24, if you have time to read and comment here, you have time to think about this stuff. If you don’t want to, just move on to the next thread.

          • Anonymous

            You are not so important that you can live your life at the expense of the people who manufacturer your goods and the environments in which they live. I’m sorry, but the lives and locations of others are important.

          • Anon

            Big job is a term frequently used on women’s boards (or at least mom boards) to short hand jobs that were traditionally done by men with stay at home wives to manage their non-work lives – it’s not meant to be a high and mighty, just a descriptor of the type of jobs many women have on this board that describe a job that takes up a lot of time and mental energy contrasted with a part time or job that doesn’t often require time outside 9-5. I don’t think there’s anything haughty or rude in that description particularly on a board that is self-described as for overachieving chicks

          • anon

            Of course other people and locations matter! But there are only so many hours in the day – this is in response to a post about the difficulty of finding a company that checks all of the boxes. My point wasn’t that people shouldn’t care about other people or locations just that there seems to be an undertone on this board that if you aren’t doing everything perfectly you are a terrible person. And that’s just not true. We all (hopefully) can do good in our own ways and minimize the negative impact our choices have on others but striving for perfection is impossible, especially if you also work full time/full time plus. This attitude drives a lot of women to leave the workforce entirely or leave certain jobs for less demanding ones. Of course women can make those choices but if we drive all the women to leave because they feel like they can’t do it all, then we’re left with only men in charge in government and major corporations and other influential institutions.

    • ThirdJen

      I am comfortable buying new from Patagonia, Darn Tough, and the REI house brands. I have done a dive on Patagonia in particular and I’m comfortable with their policies. (I was researching down coats in particular) Darn Tough gets my vote because of their excellent warranty, and I trust REI’s corporate policy enough to extend that trust to their vetting for their house brands. Patagonia does have underwear as long as you’re OK with activewear styles (their wireless bras are pretty great for my IBTC). I also started making some of my own clothing, although then you have to think about ethical fabric…

      • Anonymous

        I also mostly trust Patagonia, but one area that’s become an issue for me is that they don’t offer inclusive sizes. Most of their items are cut very narrow and only go up to XL at the most. I see plus-size women in the outdoors all the time (and I am one!) and we need high-quality, ethical clothes as much as anyone else does. I still have several items of Patagonia clothing that I love and wear all the time, but I can’t get everything there and it’s really too bad.

        • OP

          This is exactly the kind of thing I mean — a company could be great on 3 fronts but still fail on another, and it’s frustrating. I have close friends who I adore who could not wear Patagonia and I would love to NOT support a brand that isn’t inclusive of them… but then I’m back to nothing.

          • anon

            You are demanding a level of perfection that realistically does not exist. We live in an interconnected world, there are trade offs to everything – it is impossible to make a perfect choice. I’m reminded of the good place episode describing this problem – basically any good thing someone can do has a million potential downstream effects so everyone ends up in the bad place, even the good people

          • anonshmanon

            It’s frustrating, but it’s also not surprising, given that there are no flawless people, and the economy is built by people. I think it’s great to support the brands that you determine are closest to this unattainable ideal, while keeping your eyes open for better options or pushing corporations to keep improving. I think if your goal is that level of perfection then the journey will become your destination.

    • Anonymous

      Patagonia, People Tree, any textiles wholly produced in the Nordic Countries (strict labour and environmental laws and rights, high social security). Allbirds and Wildling shoes.

      Comfortable with both M&S and H&M for underwear.

    • Anonymous

      I think the only solution that meets OP’s requirements is to go commando.

  14. Anon

    I purchased a suit for myself from Suit Supply/SuiStudio and need help evaluating the fit. I ordered my normal size, and I can button and zip both the jacket and pants but there isn’t any room to spare. I like the cut and the suit fills a gap in my wardrobe. If the fabric had some stretch I think I’d keep the pieces but this suit is made of 100% wool and does not stretch. I can’t recall ever having tailored clothes in such a stiff fabric. Help me decide between keeping (and getting used to the tight feeling), exchanging for the next size up (and losing the fits like a glove fit) or returning and looking for a different fabric altogether.

    • Anonymous

      How does the jacket fit across the shoulders? Do the pants “smile”?

      • Op

        There’s no smile or other apparent fit issues when standing. I can’t tell if the constricted feeling just comes with the territory (and is maybe heightened because I’ve been dressing more comfortably these days) or is unaccrptable.

        • Anonymous

          When you put on one of your old suits, do you feel the same way?

          If in doubt, return.

    • Anon

      You will never be comfortable or happy wearing this suit. I also doubt you will be satisfied with the fit of the larger size. You deserve clothes that make you feel good physically and psychologically. Return the suit and look for something that is just right.

      • Senior Attorney

        This. The fact that you are asking all these questions, to me, is a sign that you’re not comfortable with it and it should go back.

    • NYNY

      Do you live in a place where they have a brick & mortar store? I’ve had really good alterations from them, so that could be an option, either to add some ease to the size you have or to tailor the larger size down.

  15. Anonymous

    Can we talk about relocating and salary adjustments? I have seen some back-and-forth on this issue in regards to people using the pandemic to relocate from expensive areas while still keeping their same jobs. It seems weird to me that some employers want to adjust the salary downward when the job is the same and the responsibilities are the same. It’s not like the employer will give you a raise when your rent goes up locally, so why should they dock your pay when you have moved to another state and your rent has gone down? Shouldn’t they be paying you based on the value you bring to the company? It seems to me like you should get paid the full amount if you can provide the full value remotely. Maybe it’s different for jobs with a strong in-person component, but for jobs that can be done fully remotely like mine (and that perhaps be done even better because individuals who like and do well with remote work might be more productive), why can’t the employers just pay the same amount for the same job? I’m having trouble understanding why so many employers reduce the salary when they don’t pay you based on your expenses when you live locally. It seems like it would not be worth the morale damage for trusted employees.

    And yes, I’m asking because I hope to relocate – would welcome tips on negotiating the process. I’m a top performer at my small company, but have only been there a few years. Our jobs can be done 100% remotely, although it’s only recently that permanent remote work was put on the table.

    • Anonymous

      The cost of the company finding a worker in your desired locale is less. Also if you bill, they might have different rates.

      I expect remote work wilk start changing salaries. But if you live in HQ town or report to work there/have an office, you’ll continue to get more.

    • Anon

      I am in management and I know that there are costs associated with having an employee work from another jurisdiction (county, state, country). The employer takes on a new set of responsibilities associated with compliance with local laws, tax withholding, insurance coverage, etc. Salaries have been set based on market and compliance with local laws. Perhaps your employer would like to recoup some of the costs associated with giving you the flexibility to work at the location of your choice.

      • Anonymous

        But isn’t that likely more than balanced out by the cost of not needing to provide an office space for me locally? I guess it will depend on the company and the size of the office, but it definitely costs more to rent a large enough office in San Francisco than it does to deal with slightly different tax issues if I work in Arizona…

        • Anon

          presumably they already have the office space and if you were to leave and they preferred someone in-person again, they would need office space for that one person. it’s not like they can get rid of one cube/office just bc you move to be remote

        • Anon

          Not if they’ve already rented the office space. It’s not like they can dump the lease on just your office; they usually have a suite, floor, or several floors. They also need some people on site (reception, IT, client-facing), so they are renting that space anyway.

        • Anon

          Travel is also an issue. I’m a big fan of flexibility and remote work in general, but eventually people do need to see each other for a number of reasons. They will have to budget in travel expenses.

          • Anonymous

            Good point – that’s definitely a cost, although fortunately it will be super reasonable for me if I can move where I want (yay short, frequent flights on Southwest!).

          • Anon

            I think you are way underestimating the travel costs. Southwest is great, but when you factor in hotels, food, mileage, etc. etc. it adds up in considerable ways. Plus, all the time you are spending en route. Gently, you don’t seem to have a good grasp on what people are telling you

          • Anonymous

            Thanks Anon – my company actually flies back another remote worker every six weeks (which is more than the worker even wants to come back, honestly) so I’m not particularly worried about that angle. It’s certainly a cost that I’ll plan for in negotiation, but one my company seems to take on pretty happily in the status quo. I also work very closely with that coworker and have reason to believe that I could be treated similarly due to the type of work we do and the specialized skillsets we have.

          • Anon

            Truly don’t understand why people ask questions when they don’t want to hear them.

          • Anonymous

            Just collapse the thread then? Who has glued your eyes open and forced you to read my post? Get over it.

        • Anon

          It’s not if your employer must hire someone to figure out local laws, comply with those laws by providing leave/retirement/job protections that did not previously apply, register/qualify to do business in a new jurisdiction, etc. You obviously have a script in your head that seems more like a monologue than a dialogue. Good luck with your negotiation.

    • Anonymous

      Our firm breaks up any raises into cost of living adjustments (usually about 2-3% annually) vs performance adjustments, so yes, they DO raise our salaries to keep in line with general rent increases. If I were to do the same job in our office in Oklahoma, I bring the same “value” to the firm overall, but the fair market value of the work in that particular location would be less than it is in NYC simply because people don’t have the same costs, and they can hire workers to do the same work for less.

    • Cat

      Most large companies do some sort of market analysis in establishing their salary bands (essentially, they do think they’re paying you based upon local COL and what competitors pay for similar roles), but you’re essentially “opting out” of the market that those would be based upon for your HQ. Like, your competition is now a mix of what local employers in your LCOL area pay for similar roles (if any), or what your company would be able to pay your theoretical replacement working from a LCOL area.

      So, you’ll need to negotiate… in your favor is you’re a known good performer; on the other side are the market data and also, depending on where you want to move, it can mean extra administrative burden for the employer.

    • Anonymous

      Because they can! Sorry sweetie welcome to capitalism where they pay you the minimum necessary to attract and retain the talent they need.

      • Anonymous

        That’s the point though? Won’t they be losing out on the good talent I have provided them if they dock my pay and I leave? It costs so much more to find good new talent and while it sounds vain, they have had a hard time finding talent as good as I am.

        • Anon

          This happens all the time. Your situation is not unique. Companies regularly lose talent for reasons like this. Shoot your shot, but I think plenty of commenters have given you a rationale. Don’t argue with us, argue with your employer

          • Anonymous

            It’s not about arguing, but trying to understand. I’m really struggling to find a truly compelling reason, although I think that the additional cost that some companies incur on the administrative side comes close. I’m just not sure that applies to my situation because our HR is outsourced to a large national company.

          • Anon

            You aren’t trying to understand. You believe that if you are able to offer rebuttals, no matter how little they engage with the actual issue, you are entitled to do what you want.

            If you move out of your office and work remotely from an entirely different state, a plane ride away, then your position is one that can be open to national talent. There are 325 million people in America and trust me, you’re not that special. They can find someone in Cincinnati, Houston, Austin, Chicago, Atlanta, or Charlotte to do the job remotely for salaries local to that region.

          • Anon

            I’ve managed people who are just “trying to understand” a particular decision, and they are exhausting (and often not as high a performer as they rate themselves – most employees get fairly good ratings). Everybody has given you perfectly understandable reasons why your salary may be reduced with a relocation.

        • Anonymous

          Guess they disagree! They’re betting that you won’t leave and if you do leave you’re replaceable.

          • Anonymous

            I am looking for input and it’s reassuring that there aren’t a lot of strong argument so far. I feel better about making my case to my employer. Thanks for stopping by. Thank you everyone for taking the time to comment. I am definitely taking everything into account and will use your posts to help build my case.

          • Anon

            Wow, even more delusional than I’d thought. Again, don’t come for input if you don’t want it. I’m sure you’ll be REAL reasonable in negotiations.

        • Anon

          Hate to break it to you, but you are not as indispensable as you think you are. I have been involved in replacing company CEOs. No one – literally no one, I don’t care who they are – is irreplaceable. I am also going to say that most employees I have encountered who brag about being top performers are actually far from being the highest performers in the company. Because attitude and soft skills are factors in performance, and braggarts usually don’t score high in those categories.

        • Anon

          Don’t worry, Anonymous here poops gold, so there’s no way her employer would replace her.

        • anon

          Assuming this is all true, but it sounds like you may be over valuing yourself. I do the same thing, I get it. But ultimately we are all replaceable. The issue is let’s say you live in NYC now, your company is limited to finding your replacement in NYC. If you go full remote, they have a much broader pool of people to recruit from, who may be just as talented if not more talented than you. They also may be willing to work for less. Let’s say they are currently earning x. Your company could hire them x + y which may be a significant raise for them and significantly cheaper than the company paying your salary of z.

    • Anon

      As mentioned above, there are costs to the employer if you work out of state. In fact, if you are at a small company, I would expect that you would not be able to work out of state, unless it’s in a state with which yours has reciprocity. (Large companies have an easier time of this, because they have everything set up in every state or the capability to easily add another state to an already-complicated payroll and tax system.)

      You make an incorrect assumption when you say that “they don’t pay you based on your expenses when you live locally.” There is absolutely a local component to wages, and you are being paid more to be in your HCOL area that you would be if the area were less expensive. Prior to the pandemic, many companies were moving large parts of their operations out of the VHCOL areas (ex. JP Morgan to Jacksonville, FL) so that they would not have to pay their employees to live in NYC. From a company’s perspective, they do not get much value of out having you live in NYC or Boston or San Francisco, necessarily, and their money is getting sucked up into high housing costs.

    • Anon

      I agree with this actually. It doesn’t make sense to me to have say, two programmers on the team who are doing the exact same work but one is getting paid 20% less due to living in a (for now) less expensive place, even if his or her performance is better. I think in this new remote world we will be seeing a paradigm shift and really paying people based on the value that they bring to the company.

    • Anon

      Because pay is set based on markets. Markets are determined by the cost of living there and available talent – in high cost, job saturated and talent shortage areas (like many VHCOL cities) they are “employee markets.” In remote/LCOL areas, employees don’t have a lot of choice of jobs so he employer can pay less. They are “employer markets.” If you want to move from an employee to an e player market, expect the pay to adjust accordingly. Also even if you can do your job remotely it doesn’t mean it’s done as well or that it’s as valuable as when you can come into the office. I’m not talking about all the time, but after the pandemic, someone who can come in a few days a week or month is going to contribute a lot more to the environment and culture than someone who is fully remote. You don’t bring as much to the table when you’re fully remote. People have to do a lot of extra work to compensate for your absence if everyone else is in the office (even if not all of the time).

      • Anon

        I disagree with this. In my office, some of the people who are remote are 10 times as productive as the social people who spend all day chitchatting and not actually getting anything done. It’s just useless procrastinating chitchat too, not anything that actually leads to amazing products. Productivity or team connection is absolutely not universally linked to remote status.

        • Anonymous

          +1. The one person in my office who is full-time remote is BY FAR the top performer at the company. She’s the most productive, considered one of the most friendly and welcoming people we have, she gladly attends conferences and other events in our field, is very adept at video calls, etc. She also does better work and is loyal to the company because she loves working from home and being able to live in a different city where her husband’s family is. There are NO downsides to the arrangement that I can see.

        • Cat

          Those social people making connections often get promoted over the person who is quietly productive…

          • Anon

            But is that wrong though? I know remote work is en vogue, and I am generally supportive, but there is an element of leadership that requires face to face connections. It’s not all about productivity, sometimes relationships matter more and they are generally more meaningful with more face time. (I’m not arguing against remote work.) I have worked for managers who worked remotely, and while they were good, there was something missing.

          • Cat

            Wasn’t trying to say it’s wrong – trying to point out to the OP that companies find value in in-person connections even if it’s less “productive” day to day.

        • Anon

          Well you’re missing the point, a lot of companies value the vibe that comes from people being in the office “chatting” – that’s how relationships are formed and trust is built.

          • anon

            +1 you can think it’s unfair or stupid or whatever but it doesn’t change that a lot of companies value this

          • anon

            Disagree – I have a friend who just survived a round of layoffs in a newly merged company. She had less seniority than a lot of people who were laid off with the same job description/pay. Her boss told her that the fact that pre pandemic she was in the office a lot (she has a flexible job that can be done remotely and she does work remotely sometimes pre pandemic) basically saved her job because higher ups were like “we don’t know who these people are” when deciding to lay off her peers.

    • Anon

      The points you make around pay centering around value added are 100% correct. You are incorrect about this statement: “they don’t pay you based on your expenses when you live locally.” Compensation data has been been centered around an employee’s geographic location for a long time, and that’s going to take some time to change. Most companies of any size benchmark salaries for jobs. Benchmarking is usually done using data purchased from companies that do salary surveys. The big companies that do salary surveys have subdivided data by geographic location for years because up until very recently, there wasn’t a consideration that you could hire talent that worked somewhere other than their primary work location (and in some cases, their permanent address) permanently. Companies hired talent where they needed the talent to work, so the geographic categorization made sense. It really doesn’t any more, and large compensation survey firms (like Mercer) that report data that is very widely used across many industries to set salaries are considering how to collect and report data that is not location-dependent, but they’re still working on the logistics of that. This is one of those situations where, in defiance of logic, a substructure most employees are completely unaware of is heavily influencing how companies set salaries. The value of a job should be divorced from where the work is performed, but salary survey data isn’t organized that way currently. There are statistical methods where we can analyze across locations and come up with what we think a job is worth independent of where the work is performed, but those best practices are still very much in development.

      It is enormously complicated, FYI, to keep track of employees across multiple tax locations, and the “digital nomad” thing is an added complication because of state (and sometimes country) laws around how long someone can work in a location without owing location-specific taxes. Additionally, because of equal pay laws (which are a good thing, don’t misinterpret me), consideration has to be given in situations where two people doing the same work are paid wildly different salaries. Geographic location used to be a justification for this but may not be for much longer. Again, common practice, software systems, and the law are not going to catch up with this new remote-work reality for awhile. Right now companies are adjusting salaries due to work location simply because there’s not another way to do it and have the decisions be data-driven. Making non-data-driven decisions about employee compensation is a good way for a company to get themselves embroiled in lawsuits and regulatory complaints.

      I recommend having a conversation with your employer about your salary and how it would be affected if you move. They have to be equitable to every employee in regards to pay – they don’t have a choice, it’s the law – and so you can expect the conversation to center around what precedents have been set and what guidelines the company is following. You can advocate for not being geographically adjusted but if they’ve decided what practices they’re going to engage in to minimize risk of inequity, likely you’re out of luck getting them to change those just for you. One thing that may be helpful is to provide them with some data about cost of living of where you are vs. where you are going – if the COL index isn’t that different, you may have some luck not getting adjusted downward.

      Source: I am an HR leader who has been working with these types of compensation issues for the last year.

    • Anon

      I’m in HR and currently looking at this. We currently think that while many companies benchmark salaries regionally or by city, there may be some flattening of the differentials or moving to more of a national market for in-demand skillsets (which is already being seen in some types of skills, largely hot/in-demand or lending themselves to remote work). I think it’s not a great plan to dock employee salaries, but everything everyone else said about them hiring someone else going forward at a lower rate could be true. You might also not get raises in the future while they try to bring you ‘in-line.’ I think it’s very much an open question right now, so yes, negotiate, but they’ll be trying to get the best deal for the talent they need, just as you’re trying to get the same for yourself.

    • anon

      There are a lot of factors that go into this, but a couple things that have been relevant for my company in considering allowing remote work and salaries:

      -What costs do we incur by allowing the employee to move (tax compliance, impacts of being deemed to be doing business in a new state, travel costs)?

      -Do we already have employees in that jurisdiction and could we end up with a situation where an employee is paid dramatically out of the salary band for that jurisdiction (which has negative impacts in terms of satisfaction for other employees if they become aware)?

      -Is it a buyer’s market or a seller’s market for labor in that employee’s function? If the employee wants to move to, say, Louisville KY but keep their NYC salary, could we just hire equivalent talent in Louisville that will accept a Louisville market salary? Or does the employee have a limited skillset that would be hard to replace?

      You will have better luck if your company already operates in this jurisdiction (so there aren’t new costs associated with having employees there) and you are difficult to replace in terms of skills or experience.

      • Anon

        Second bullet is a big deal. It is one thing to make bank while paying SF rents or as a reward to endure SF commutes, but if you could move to Little Rock and make the same, maybe you’d create a sort of monster internally.

        • Leatty

          It also creates legal risk because you could have two (or more) people doing the same or substantially similar work being paid at different rates. Salary history isn’t a complete defense in some jurisdictions.

          • Anon

            At this point, if you have to pay SV-level salaries to employees working in Mississippi (I saw a house there that would be $2M+ in my MCOL city for 500K; I am sure it may be in the middle of nowhere, but I’d love to live in it), I bet employers may start thinking of just hiring MUCH cheaper workers in Mumbai, etc., since they can speak English and you can pay people to work shifts wildly off their local time zone if the $ is right. I have a feeling that this could backfire spectactularly. If people are all-remote, why pay if you don’t have to???

      • Anon

        Also second that second bullet as someone living in an extremely HCOL area. If folks move to the midwest and start being able to buy mansions for $300K, and live it up on a west coast salary, it’s going to cause a LOT of heartburn. And companies regularly dock your pay if you move. For example, if you are a MSFT employee and move to Dublin or Vancouver from the States, even though those are HCOL areas, they take really substantial paycuts.

    • Anon

      My final comment on this thread: you should ask the company to split the difference. Sell it as “you save money and I save money.”

  16. Toastmasters?

    Has anybody done Toastmasters or a similar organization? I would like to improve my presentation skills and trying to decide the best way to go about doing so. (FYI – it looks like most, if not all, of the Toastmasters in my location are meeting virtually).

    • Prolific Speaker

      Yes! Toastmasters is a famous for a reason – it can be a really powerful public speaking training. Most groups are extremely supportive and welcoming. If you stumble across one that’s not, keep looking.

    • Kelsey

      Yes, I did it for over a year (finished up the first level – I think it’s called the competent communicator certificate) and I loved it. It’s a supportive group and there are people there in all stages for life and career. I went weekly (in person, before covid) while working at a toxic work environment where I felt lonely and undervalued, and the meeting always put me in a good mental state. I think I laughed almost every time when I went (there’s a joke of the day and also people often infused their table talk with funny comments) and it helped me while I was struggling with situational depression.

  17. Anonymous

    I know variations of this question have come up before but it’s also 10 months into WFH so I want to see if there’s any movement in the answers and also add my particular details. I’ve got a video interview for an in-house counsel position at a tech company. Clothing options include navy suit, black Going Out blazer, or a black crepe short sleeve dress. The dress is the most comfortable and looks dressy in person. But on video it could be mistaken for a blouse. Please share your current thoughts on dressing for video interviews.

    • Cat

      I’d go with the Going Out blazer. Not as stuffy as a suit jacket with lapels (it is tech), but shows you’re respectful of the importance of the meeting.

      Context, for casual video meetings at my org, people are in obvious sweatshirts – like hoodies – but for meetings with management or interviews, it’s definitely “what you would have worn in person” – on top at least ;)

      • Anonymous

        +1 for the Going Out Blazer. It looks very sharp on camera and can read either business formal or business casual depending on the context. I have worn mine for every important videoconference since last March.

        I don’t like tailored dresses for videoconferences. As you mention, they can come across as a blouse. They also tend to bunch up when you sit down.

    • Anon

      If the company is in the Bay Area, I’d just do a zoom blouse and polished hair/makeup. Honestly, I interview people on video all the time and it’s barely something I notice. Just not the same concern as in-person.

    • anne-on

      Blazer. It’s still an interview. I’d feel free to go with funky earrings, a ‘cool’ blouse, etc. but if you already have the blazer IMHO there isn’t a reason not to check the box of ‘can they wear appropriate business clothing when necessary’.

  18. Abby

    How do you spend your bonus? For the first time in my life, I got a 5 figure bonus and it feels ABSURD. No debt and I already max out retirement. I was thinking of saving 75% and spending 25%, is this reasonable? I don’t normally splurge on shopping, and want to buy something meaningful.

    • Anon

      My bonus goes straight into my IRA. I make much less than the norm for this board, and my bonuses are much smaller too (low four figures). If I was making more and had the option, I’d start investing outside tax-advantaged accounts, in order to retire early.

    • Anon

      If your retirement savings are pre-tax, I would consider doing a conversion to pay the taxes now, if that is an option. If you are in the US, there is no way that future taxes will not rise to deal with the astronomical federal deficit.

    • Anon

      I get a very small bonus every year (3-6k) and I usually spend a part of it on a piece of furniture I’ve been wanting or need to upgrade (~$1-2k) and put the rest in savings/invest it. Last year I bought a gorgeous credenza and this year a bookcase.

        • Anon

          Yes, I find that this has helped me slowly replace the 15 year old Ikea stuff that’s falling apart with something nicer than more ikea stuff that will inevitably fall apart.

    • Anon

      Congratulations! I usually splurge on something small (like 5% of the bonus) that is something ‘luxurious’ for me and save the rest responsibly. I have bought a case of wine, a fancy bag, a small piece of jewelry. This year it might be a Dyson hair dryer which I kind of think is ridiculous but I believe I would really enjoy. The rest is going in index funds or 529.

      • Abby

        Thank you! Ok so my spend % was a little high haha I want to treat myself to something so I don’t spend the rest of the year with the mentality that I never spent any of my bonus and justify more spending.

    • anon

      100% goes into my brokerage account. I don’t spend unless there is a specific reason, so like my 2019 bonus was my down payment for a bigger house. I generally avoid looking to buy stuff, (i.e., what would you do with $X to treat yourself) but I would spend if there was something I particularly wanted and didn’t have to think about. For me this year that might be a Concept2 rower…

      • Cat

        +1

        I spend no more than $500 or so on a “treat” out of my bonus, and it’s always something I’ve been eyeing but it felt frivolous to spend the money. One year it was a (lucky sale because otherwise definitely would not have fit this budget) Max Mara coat, another year it was larger pearl earrings.

        Otherwise it goes straight to savings. I do not like the feeling of “looking for something to buy just for the sake of finding something.”

    • Anonymous

      I save the whole thing and I never buy unless there’s something specific that I want. Don’t buy for the sake of buying or “treating yourself” without a specific desire that you can afford.

    • Veronica Mars

      My company lets us put 75% to retirement, so I do that. With the little left over (25% minus taxes), my husband and I might go to a really nice dinner or something. BUT, without my bonus I wouldn’t max out my retirement, so normally in November/December I’ve maxed out and I get the extra money back in my paycheck. That pays for a nice lavish Christmas and any replenishments of savings. This year, it might go to some nice-to-do home repairs.

    • Anonymous

      Art! I love a nice original oil painting so I keep my eye on local auctions and when one piques my interest, I bid.

    • Anonymous

      Are you me?? :) congrats!!

      Due to taxes, my take home is under five figures. I give you permission to spend 25%!

      I decided that for me, I am going to spend $500 now (on a pricey household item that will make my life easier – think lawnmower, furniture, etc.) and spend $500 on a solo vacation (or staycation) later this year. I’m also sending flowers to a few close friends for the inauguration/ Valentines. I worked really hard last year and I’m tired. Rewarding myself now and having something to look forward to is making me feel better. Congrats again!

      • Abby

        Thank you and congrats to you as well!! Normally I would spend this on a trip, no doubt but I don’t think I’ll be traveling much in 2021.

    • Anonymous

      Before getting the bonus I make a “Wishlist” of things I’ve wanted over the past year or two but never splurged on because they felt too indulgent. I then decide on a fixed percentage of my bonus (normally 2-3% of net, rather than gross) and put it into my YNAB budget in the “Bonus” category. That way, I have a wishlist of things I want and some cash set aside, so that I can decide when and how to spend it. For example, my wishlist this year includes: a new dresser, a Burberry trench coat, diamond necklace, cookware set, van cleef arpels necklace, etc., so that if the dresser I want goes on sale, or I go to the VCA store and fall in love, I can spend guilt-free.
      My bonuses are 6-figures though, so if the 2-3% represents an absurd amount of money, I’ll set a maximum dollar amount for that bonus spending and then stick the rest into an investment account.

      • Anon

        +1 – I also get a 6 figure bonus and allocate a small percentage for something fun and splurgy for me and my spouse (we do the same with his bonuses), and we invest the rest. I’m personally fond of jewelry. Regardless of the amount, I would take the small percentage philosophy and get something frivolous or treat yourself in some way. In before times, that could be a weekend away or spa day. You work hard, and yes, fiscal responsibility is good, but it’s too easy to turn life into a slog aimed at a savings account. Enjoy your successes, and I’ve never found that 2-3% of a bonus would make or break my other financial goals. YMMV.

        • Abby

          Thank you both! I’m thinking of doing a % for me and DH, and was debating jewelry. It’s my first year at this company and I didn’t want to get my hopes up prior to hearing the amount, so I never made a wishlist. It turned out to be much higher than I expected and I want something to remember this first year of hard work. Maybe I’ll wait to see if something really comes up and reserve this $ to give myself the ok.

    • BeenThatGuy

      I put my bonus in American Funds. But every few years, I buy myself something big with my bonus. This year, today actually, I purchased the Cartier Love Huggie earrings. I’ve been wanting them for years. I figured I will always remember them as my Biden Inauguration earrings.

    • Anon

      I think it’s perfectly fine and nice to treat yourself if you have something in mind that you want, but this year, I actually got more personal satisfaction out of increasing my charitable donations. I don’t do that every year, but I have become so aware of how damn lucky I am to still have my job when so many people in my area are close to losing their homes. If you don’t have a specific splurge in mind, why not consider that?

      • Anon

        +1 I would love to be able to give more to charity and I think that’s a great use of your bounty which many, many people around the world are not fortunate enough to receive.

    • LaurenB

      I think it’s ridiculous to buy for the sake of buying. Either you already had your eye on something, or you didn’t – if you need suggestions on what to buy, it’s an indication you didn’t really want it. I always saved 100% of bonuses, minus a nice dinner out (pre-pandemic).

    • Ribena

      If I were getting a bonus this year, it would be being split between a Peloton bike and my savings for new windows (home maintenance savings, essentially).
      I’m not, so do with that what you will! (Would normally be getting low four figures but the pandemic meant no bonuses this year)

    • Anonymous

      I am mid 30s and married with 3 kids. Between DH and myself, we end up with anywhere between 30k and 80k in bonus money. Sadly and boringly, it goes to Responsible Places. DH’s bonus is a big portion of his comp, so we budget the year on his base salary but allocate a portion of his expected bonus to long term savings. If he doesn’t get it, we are behind/have to save from elsewhere. Mine is more of a “top off” bonus (I won’t get it this year) and we usually use that to fund or top off vacation funds.

      If we get more than expected, we’ll usually do 50/50 on save/spend, but typically on things like more $$ to vacation or if we are feeling particularly wild, we’ll throw it at our mortgage ;).

    • anne-on

      I would definitely make sure you’re covered for your tax implications first – and you may want to ask your financial planner/tax pro about that. Once you’ve got that set, I’d go with 75% save, 15% apply to necessary but annoying big purchases (do you need a new car? roof? renovation? new bedding? etc.). and 10% (or less) to a ‘thing’ or (my preference) an experience – big trip? spa day with girlfriends when it’s safe? etc.

      • Abby

        Experience would normally be my choice but I don’t want to get my hopes up for a trip happening in 2021. But I like this break down, thanks!

    • TheElms

      We do boring things with bonuses. It feels like a good way to get an unexpected leg up on financial goals and that progress is lasting and often begets other financial progress. This year bonuses are going to pay down the mortgage a bit, to give us flexibility down the road. In prior years we have funded a 529, used the money to fund a house down payment, and pay off student loans.

    • Anon

      Spend 10% on something for you, then invest the rest.

      Sorry if that’s boring but let me tell you, I was laid off at the beginning of the pandemic, am now starting my own business, and my family of four have been living off of four years of banked bonuses for months. That beats any trip or sparkly thing (and I really, really like both of those things.)

      • Abby

        This kind of example is exactly what I was looking for. Sorry to hear about your situation, but pretty proud of you that responsible saving. Good luck with your new business!

    • Anonymous

      Most goes to a down payment, but I like to also use some to buy some time. I’ve set an amount to pay for housecleaning or used some to fun laser hair removal to reduce my daily prep time.

  19. Anon

    Might be a long shot, but has anyone ever lived in Park City, Utah? We are considering relocating to Utah and now we want to consider Park City over Salt Lake City proper because of the improved air quality and summer temperatures. I am familiar with resort-y mountain town vibes from spending a lot of time with family that lives in one, but my impression is that Park City is a little different than say, Vail or Sun Valley since it’s so close to SLC and the airport and it also has several large companies anchored there. It sounds like you can also get lower-cost houses if you’re willing to live outside the city limits. Our plan is to work remotely for our current jobs, although SLC might also have some options for us down the road too. Priorities are access to recreation and a cute town, cleaner air, good medical care, local skiing access, at least a little bit politically liberal and not too religious, and a decent location that isn’t too remote. Currently DINKS, but kids aren’t totally off the table, and we are used to living in VHCOL places and we love winter. We will plan to rent no matter where we move and have no immediate plans to buy property. Have been to Park City once before, but only briefly, and other parts of Utah many times. Would love to hear any impressions, positive or negative. TIA!

    • Veronica Mars

      No, but I’m a superfan of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City so I’ll follow this thread with interest.

    • No Face

      No comments about Park City, but let me tell you, as someone who moved from a HCOL place to a LCOL place, it is amazing! Everything feels free for years. You get an instant quality of life boost while spending less money.

    • Anonymous

      I have a cousin that lives in Park City and commutes into SLC for work. He’s single, no plans to marry, and kind of a loner. He loves it, but I get the impression that if you’re not specifically working in PC, you may be better off living in SLC and going out to PC to ski and for events rather than the opposite.

    • Clementine

      One note is that SLC actually has terrible air quality. It’s something about the geography.

    • Anon

      I think the vibe in Park City is much much different from the vibe in Vail/Sun Valley. It’s much smaller than Vail and Sun Valley, so don’t discount that also making it feel different. If you’re wanting to be “part” of the cute town, I’m not sure living outside of city limits gets you that feeling. I lived in SLC for a time, and off-peak times up in Park City felt more like a … opioid oasis for the winter crew that lives there year-round (not sure if this is felt in other ski towns). The LDS church is predominate and noticeable anywhere in Utah. You get liberal/non-LDS in parts of SLC. But you also get conservative/LDS vibes in Park City. There’s no escaping it (I don’t say this as a bad thing, I’m not particularly bothered by the church, but some people are and it becomes a part of your life even if you aren’t in the church and live in a liberal area like the area around theU). Everything you’ve mentioned as a priority is available and not diminished by living in SLC proper. The weather inversions creep up Parleys Canyon, and there’s more wood-burning up there too. So if the inversions are a big concern, they are not eliminated by living in Park City and may ultimately be a reason to not move into the area at all.

    • Park City anon

      I don’t live in Park City, but my family has a ski condo, which I actually relocated to for the winter since I’m WFH. I love this town, the weather is amazing, the outdoor activities are endless, but it is pretty touristy and bougie (which I love, but I’m not sure I would love raising kids here). My cousins live in Holladay, which is about 40 minutes outside of Park City, and they both work in SLC, which could be a good compromise. Other cousins that actually live in Park City say they never go to Main Street unless we are in town visiting because it’s made for tourists. DH’s dream is to move here, but from my limited exposure, COL is very high, so I guess it depends on which VHCOL areas you’re coming from, and that you wouldn’t expect it to be much cheaper.

    • Anon

      I live in SLC and have co-workers who commute from Park City and Heber. I’ve only ever vacationed in Vail and Sun Valley, but I’m surprised by the poster saying that Park City is smaller than Sun Valley/Ketchum – to me it feels much larger but overall similar in vibe.

      The air up in Park City is much, much clearer than in SLC, and the summers are more pleasant as well. The dining options are solid, the schools are fine, and the area is very liberal (but you will have to deal with the laws passed by the extremely conservative and religious state legislature – currently some of them are agitating to strip the governor of the powers to institute mask ordinances during public health emergencies and to allow concealed carry without permit). The health care system/hospitals in Utah are good for the US, we have low taxes, and the outdoor recreation opportunities are world class. The snow this year has been dismal, but usually there’s a lot of it.

      I personally wouldn’t want to live in Park City, even if I worked remotely and wouldn’t have to commute every day, because it’s very, very expensive for Utah (not just for housing, but groceries and restaurants and so forth), the canyon can become impassable at any time (although never for more than a day or two) in the winter, it’s further from the airport (40 minutes, rather than the 10 from downtown Salt Lake), there’s no dating scene except for resort workers who are just passing through, and the culture is aggressively outdoorsy (Salt Lake is like that too, but at least we have the ballet, opera, symphony, sports teams, etc.). You also have to have a car (probably with four wheel drive unless you want to be stuck at home in the winter) to get around, and during Sundance Park City is a total overcrowded mess (it might take an hour to get from one end of town to the other, and good luck trying to go out to eat). But for a lot of people, especially people who have disposable income and like to ski, Park City is an amazing spot to live.

  20. Emma

    Randomly specific question, but I figure people here are barred in New York and can maybe help. I (foreign attorney, five years out of law school) am putting together my application package for the New York bar after passing all the exams. As concerns the pro bono requirement, I did 100 hours of legal clinic in law school. The person who supervised the clinic back then has quit, and I don’t know where she works. Can someone else (either the new clinic director or someone from my law school) fill out the pro bono form? Or do I need to track this person down?

  21. Anon

    as i am currently watching CNN and they are commenting on the outfit choices of Jill Biden and Kamala Harris. more so focusing on who made the clothes (american designers, some of color, etc.) Yes, I realize this is not really important, but I am not loving Kamala’s purple- it is a bit bright for my taste, though I like Jill’s blue a lot. and both men are in Ralph Lauren. thoughts?

    • Anonymous

      Kamala is perfection, her purple is regal and glorious, and I don’t like you.

    • AnonATL

      Can someone share links? On a call and don’t have the tv turned on, but curious what everyone is wearing. Google is failing me

    • Emma

      I’m usually not a fan of purple (looks terrible on me) but I find it suits her!

    • Anon

      Queen Elizabeth always wears bright colors for the express purpose of being seen in the crowd – I figure both women are following that line of thinking. I think both bright colors are good. (And I loved Michelle’s chartreuse.)

      Also, did anyone notice that the Bidens and Harrises were holding hands going up the stairs but the Pences were not? Says it all right there.

      • Anon

        “Also, did anyone notice that the Bidens and Harrises were holding hands going up the stairs but the Pences were not? Says it all right there.”

        Are you seriously implying that the Pences have a bad marriage? And you’re doing so because you like Democrats and don’t like Republicans?

      • Anon

        I’m not a Pence defender by any means, but Pence and Mother were holding hands all through the hallway to the stairs. So, it doesn’t say much. His policies and ability to stand by a racist bigot for 4+ years says more.

    • Flats Only

      On my TV Kamala’s coat looks like a bright royal blue, not purple. Watching this I am struck by the relative informality of the folks up on the risers. A lot of puffer coats. Bernie Sanders looks like he wandered in from doing errands! Yes it’s cold, but it’s time for best dress coat and discrete thermal underwear, not dressing like a polar expedition.

      • Cat

        If this doesn’t clue everyone in that Puffer Coats Can Be Professional, I’m not sure what will.

      • Lilau

        I love looking at beautifully dressed people but I’m ok with Bernie looking like a shlub. He’s not a fashionista (fashionisto?). It’s ok for politicians to be authentic. Did you ever read about how his car was mistakenly towed out of the Mayor’s spot after he was elected because it was so shabby?

        I read somewhere that Schumer brings his lunch to the senate in stained Tupperware and it felt really true to me. I feel like Nancy Pelosi has a closet full of gorgeous clothes and none of her Tupperware is stained because it’s all that fancy glass kind. Both are capable politicians (at least from my perspective as an actual democrat), but I would ask Nancy for fashion advice first.

      • Anon

        Also looks blue to me, but they said the designer is from Baton Rouge so I bet it is purple (and probably lined in tiger print)

        • pugsnbourbon

          I’ve heard Bernie’s look described as the scientist in a disaster movie who tries to warn everyone, but no one believes him because he has crazy hair and keeps dropping his papers. Now that I think about it …

    • Anon

      Is Michelle Obama wearing a jumpsuit??? From what I could see, it’s a lot of look and ALL of it is good.

    • Anon

      I LOVE both Kamala Harris’s and Michelle Obama’s looks. Not loving Jill Biden’s blue – not a fan of the sparkles in the jacket.

      • Anon

        Michelle had sparkles on Barak’s Inauguration Day – that amazing chartreuse/yellow wool lace ensemble. It had subtle sparkles. (With the olive gloves and shoes – swoon!) I think Jill’s was at least in part a nod to that. And why not? This is an event that calls for every form of celebration.

    • Anonymous

      Both Harris and Dr. Biden are WEARING HEELS. I am terrified for their safety and cannot believe we will never make progress for women. Disheartened to say the least.

      • Anonymous

        Oh go jump in a lake. They are adult women who get to make their own shoe choices.

      • Anon

        Seriously? It’s not like they were forced to wear heels, they did so because they WANTED to.

      • Shelle

        I agree, I was hoping they’d wear comfortable no-heeled shoes to set a new precedent for women’s formal wear: practical and comfortable just like menswear has long been. Guess I’ll have to forge ahead on my own!

        • Anon

          I was hoping for this too. I’m so over women’s formalwear being equated with heels.

        • Anon

          I, for one, find heels comfortable and preferable. No way would I have worn anything else on this day if I had been one of them.

          • Anon

            News flash: just because something is not true for you doesn’t mean it is not true for everyone. I can’t run in heels due to past knee and calf injuries but I have a friend who wears nothing but heels, and she’s as comfortable in them as she is in other footwear. Agree with the comment above, if I were Kamala or Jill I wouldn’t have worn anything but heels, to an event that formal and important.

    • Anon

      In love with the necklace Harris had commissioned for today. Cannot wait for the reproductions to hit so I can get my own version.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      I think it works for her. I also like her necklace, which is not surprising because I usually like her jewelry (lots of pearls).

    • anonyK

      I didn’t like the purple either, honestly. The shade of purple is too bright. Hilary is in the same bright purple and I don’t like it on her either. The darker purplish red Michelle Obama is wearing is much better, in my opinion. It’s still a non-black color that helps you stand out a little, but its not so glaring on camera. I’m also a little disappointed she didn’t wear pants, because I feel like her usual look is a pantsuit and I just like that better for the occasion, particularly outdoors in January. Jill Biden looked fine, kind of british royal looking vibe. The men were boring fashion wise. I thought Joe looked good. Whoever is doing his makeup/bronzer is doing a nice job.

      • Anon

        I believe there was a suffragette purple color scheme going today. I loved it all, and more importantly, love how Kamala (my senator until this morning) governs.

  22. Veronica Mars

    Success story for my fellow readers: In my role, I was responsible for two projects: A & B; A is/was the top priority for the company, but B kept sucking up all my time and energy. After trying to make it work for several months, I had to go to my bosses and tell them it wasn’t sustainable for me to do both A & B, and that I needed someone else to take on B. I felt so badly about it, but I knew when it came to my performance review, saying that I was neglecting A because of B wasn’t going to cut it. You guys– they tried to find someone for the “smaller” project and ended up having to hire someone because it was so much work and no one else could absorb it. It was so validating, and now I’m on the bigger/better project full time.

  23. anon

    I have a monthly meeting that brings out my imposter syndrome in the worst way. These are technically my peers, although all of our jobs are so different that I never feel like we have much common ground to work from. I don’t have deep relationships with them, and all are pretty intimidating figures. Compared to them, I feel like a stumbling, bumbling idiot. I don’t feel like I belong at this particular leadership table. It does not help that I’m in what some would consider a “fluffier” field compared to the financial, legal, and compliance wizards. How do I get over myself? I’ve been in this job for several years now, and my anxiety about this particular meeting has never let up.

    • PNW

      I have one of those meetings quarterly, and if left to my own devices I would be fine but my boss gets very flustered and anxious with this group and it flows over onto me. I hate feeling so bumbly. I feel like I have a fear grin the whole time. And that is unusual for me! The best thing I can do is just make sure I am very prepared so that I know I am speaking truth and facts, and I make sure to avoid any “ad-libbing”, which I would normally do in any meeting. I’m usually good at thinking of something slightly witty to say and thinking on my feet, but I recognize that in this setting I just can’t do it. I’m off my game and things don’t land.

      Sorry I don’t have anything more concrete for you.

      • anon

        This is actually helpful, so thank you! Yes, I think you’re right that it’s OK to keep my guard up and just stick to the facts, even though I am usually more relaxed than that.

    • Anonymous

      Oh, I wish I could call you and listen and talk and empower you. Hugs from this internet stranger! We’ve all been there in different ways. Sometimes I tackle this in a two-part strategy: the actual meeting, and then the people/my feelings. Not knowing much about the meeting – is this a regular meeting, with an agenda you feel comfortable with? Do you feel like you understand the components? (Example – weekly Exec VP meeting, group might spend 5 minutes on financial report. I was scared to sound stupid so I never asked questions. Eventually I asked the CFO for 15 minutes, she walked me through the report and the big issues for that year, she admitted she didn’t understand her own dept. reports for five years, and I could listen attentively/ask better questions the rest of the year). Do you feel like you’re unprepared for a segment? How can you tackle that in a regular way? I’d encourage you to think about how often others speak in the meeting and grow to match that. If it’s 5 minutes/average, start with one minute. Get used to hearing yourself contribute – not to hear yourself talk, but to meet your teammates on the field.

      Then – people/feelings. You are worth it. You are smart. You bring something to that table, whether it’s creativity, innovation, etc. Your peers may surprise you if you could hear what they’re thinking. I’m in legal and you bet your rear end I don’t have the same ideas as HR, Marketing, etc. If you think through the agenda and some key questions/your contributions beforehand, bringing notes or a few bullets, you can have a concise, intelligent value add in every meeting. (If “stumbling, bumbling” is verbal – prep helps). You may want to read or listen to podcasts or Brene Brown videos to help recognize the triggers/effects, and help you reduce these feelings and feel empowered. But overall know that we’ve all been there (all genders) and your peers see you as a peer. Don’t talk yourself down, build yourself up!

      Last thing. If you feel this way because of how others treat you – that’s crappy, and you should think about powering up that fab resume and voting with your feet. If you’re feeling this way because of how YOU feel, see above. You got this!

    • Anon

      The big secret is everyone is playing grownup, and some people are better actors than others. You’re there because of your background and experience, and so is everyone else. But everyone is just trying to figure out what to do because there’s no blueprint for things. Know you’re there for a reason and own your weird fluff! That’s a perspective needed at your table. I promise. -signed the financey-legal type sitting right next to you and cheering you on.

      • Anon

        When I was at my first job, I even felt like a fraud carrying a briefcase. I called my 50something mom and asked, “Mom, how old are you when you start feeling like a grownup?” She said, “I’ll let you know.”

        And now I’m 50something. Preach, Mom.

  24. Anon

    should i be concerned that there are people playing live music at the inauguration? obviously they cannot wear masks while doing that, do you think they all received covid tests first?

    • Anonymous

      Yes, we should all be concerned for the members of the band unless they have been strictly quarantining. I sing and play a wind instrument and think it is insane that anyone is doing either of those things in public right now. I’ve seen numerous videos of brass and woodwind players playing through holes cut in their masks and with bell covers over the ends of the brass instruments. Maaaaaaaybe the bell covers would provide some protection against the virus particles being blown out by the brass players, but they wouldn’t do much at all for the woodwind instruments (air comes out of the key holes, not just the end). And masks with holes definitely don’t protect the musicians when they inhale.

    • Anon

      Good grief. It’s the President’s Own. Yes, they’ve been tested. Yes, they’ve been quarantining. The military closest to the president has unlimited access to rapid tests – they have to to get their jobs done. Speaking from household experience.

    • Anna

      Don’t invent things to be worried about. It is someone else’s job to worry about the band members having COVID, and I’m sure that person made sure they were tested

      • Anon

        I’m not really worried about the band, but I’m definitely worried about the people I know personally who point to things like this to argue “one rule for them, another rule for us!” and encourage people in my own community to take fewer precautions than recommended.

        • anon

          I would remind your circle that everyone attending the inauguration has access to unlimited rapid tests and likely was subject to quarantine restrictions in advance

          • Ribena

            And most if not all of the political figures have been vaccinated under continuity of government provisions.

    • Anon

      That depends. Is there nothing in your own life, that you actually have control over, that could use your attention and focus? Like maybe your family, your own health, your job or career, your education, your spirituality or peace of mind, your nutrition or fitness, the cleanliness and organization of your house, your efforts to be a good neighbor and good community member, etc.?

      If the answer is genuinely “no,” carry on being worried about the actions of people you don’t know, will never meet, and who can’t affect you. It won’t help anything, but it is free entertainment, I guess.

    • Anon

      If you follow Chrissy Teigen’s Twitter, she is there for her husband’s performance and has been tested 7 times in 7 days. I’m sure that is the level of caution required for all involved.

    • anon

      A friend of a friend who played today said they’ve been strictly quarantining since before Christmas, since they had to rehearse safely too.

  25. Excited

    So what time will Kamala be sworn in? We’d to know what time I need to have the tv on by

  26. Kelsey

    The other day, several people here said that they wear silk long underwear/leggings under pants when it’s super cold out. Where do I get these magical silk leggings and are they machine washable? Would I be able to wear them under ski pants for skiing or is there a better alternative for sporty endeavors?!? I have a thyroid issue (taking meds already) so I feel cold all the time so I haven’t been able to enjoy the outdoors that much.

    • Anon

      They don’t need to be actual silk; I think they’re most often poly. Costco has them – their brand is 32 degrees. Cuddl Duds are another brand. Every department store sells them.

      • Anon

        Cuddl Duds seem to make me sweat and retain odor. I tossed them and only wear silk ones now.

      • Anonymous

        Another +1 for Uniqlo’s heattech line – they are machine washable, although I line-dry them. I wear the leggings under jeans or snow pants and the heattech camisoles on top if I’m at a construction site, and tights under slacks/trousers if I was meeting people in offices in the beforetimes.

      • BB

        +1 BUY THESE! They come in different thicknesses too depending on how cold you get. I throw them in the washing machine and air dry them (which is very fast).

    • Anon

      I’m Team Wool – either Ibex or Smartwool 100% merino. Available online and Smartwool is available in many outdoor stores.

    • Anon

      For actual silk long underwear, Lands’ End is great. Women’s tops come in 4 or 5 styles. The pants are not leggings, but they are so thin and slippery that they fit easily under pants and jeans.

    • Anonymous

      Eddie Bauer has real silk; they are machine washable but hang dry. WinterSilks is another brand I have found online at various retailers.

    • Anan

      I have a pair of silk legging from REI- it’s whatever is their house brand. Is. Also have cheaper pair from Sierra Trading Company. I hand wash them

    • Anon

      Mine are from LL Bean. I have a black set and a beige set. They are actual silk. I machine wash and hang dry. Both sets are 5+ years old and going strong!

    • Anonymous

      Silk and merino blend is also great.

      Silk jersey is machine washable like merino jersey, use your wool setting if you haven’t got one for silk, and wool/silk detergent. Don’t tumble dry.

    • Anon

      Any outdoor store will sell them as base layers – REI, EMS, Eddie Bauer probably, LL Bean, etc. They’ll probably have a variety of options. Merino wool is also great.

  27. Anonymous

    What ‘fun’ things did you do at home so far over lockdown? Along with everyone else we have lost motivation for zoom quizzes etc but I’m trying to cheer January up with doing something a bit different each weekend. So far we have had a poker night and listened to Britney (that was Vegas night!), had movie night with popcorn, went to a different local park for a walk with coffees and eaten 5 courses of pasta with cheesy Italian restaurant soundtracks. We like playing board games and have already picked up a few new 2 player ones.

    • Anon

      You’ve done a lot!! My go to is board games and I see you’ve already done that. Maybe something artsy? I’ve also been doing watercolor tutorials and I find them really fun even though I’m not very good.

    • emeralds

      We’ve been doing periodic blind beer tastings. Get a mixed six-pack, pour tasting quantities, and see who can get the closest to the tasting notes, IBUs, ABV, etc. We gamified it for bragging rights.

      • anonshmanon

        Similarly, diy wine tasting. Pick 4-5 wines, decant some into small jars and drop off to local friends, taste together on zoom, and compare what you taste and smell. Make them guess the price of each bottle.

    • Tea/Coffee

      Puzzles. Sounds silly but we get difficult ones (like adult-difficult) with themes that appeal to us and the whole family works on it. It can take a couple weeks and it’s a great equalizer for the kids (they love to walk in, spot a piece and drop it in when we couldn’t)!
      Project cooking, also. I made croissants for no other reason than I hadn’t ever, and had the ingredients and a day that could be run on the croissants’ time. It was like having a baby in the house, lol.
      Also, home improvement projects. DH and Inare both handy and both enjoy them.

    • Anonymous

      White dinner-white clothes and white food. Indoor camping—sleeping bags, s’mores and movie.

      Little thing, but every day I go for a walk and listen to an audible book—it has become my favorite part of the day.

    • Anon

      If you can get 3/4 or more people together (maybe on zoom) doing brackets is fun. So far my family of four have had massive fights over candy bar brackets, Disney movie brackets etc.

      Just Google what kind of bracket you want to do and then print them – it’s a March Madness type of bracket. Everyone fills out their own and then you vote to figure out what the consensus is (which is often no one’s first choice due to the nature of brackets.)

      We tend to do this after dinner.

    • Anon

      Have a breakfast-all-day menu and stay in your pajamas all day. (Have some elaborate breakfast-time meal for dinner, like biscuits and gravy or espresso waffles or shakshouka.

      Otherwise, do a countries of the world tour. “Visit” a different country each weekend by watching a video about the country, doing some sort of project, checking out books from your library about the culture, eating a traditional meal, etc. Try The World is a monthly subscription box that has a similar concept, or Atlas Crate is geared toward kids but also similar concept. But you could also just create your own plans based on internet research.

    • Duckles

      My friends and I do craft night where we pick a movie to co-watch and each have knitting/embroidery/drawing whatever to do as well occasionally. It’s low key and nice.

    • Anon

      A floor-standing Jiffy steamer like they use at clothing stores. I messed around with a couple of handheld models before finally giving in and getting the real thing. Wish I’d done it sooner! I haven’t pulled my ironing board out except for thanksgiving linens in years.

  29. Anon

    OMG the moms board has me freaking out. Our schools closed last March and have not reopened. Every month or so, they say they will reopen on a hybrid model (1/3 of people have opted for full remote for the 2020-2021 school year) in a month, giving us hope while saying just a while longer. I am sure that we won’t go back for the rest of this school year, but now it seems that in many places teachers don’t want to even go back in the fall.

    I am sure I will lose it if that happens. Right now, I think I am the front in the pot of water on the stove. OMG — prayers, please. [And while I’d like to be happy with today being the inauguration, this is a locally-elected school board ruining my life now and that’s not about to change, even if we vote these bums out, I will have lost my dang mind by then.]

    • Cat

      No one knows what’s happening in the fall right now. I recommend planning assuming it will be remote learning, and being pleasantly surprised if vaccination has progressed to the point that kids are back.

    • Anon

      Take them at their word and start planning to homeschool or send kiddos to a private school. You can homeschool with other families in a pod, send your kid to what is essentially paid homeschooling, do it yourself, or hire someone to do it.

      School districts are funded based on enrollment; they are dangling the hybrid model in front of you so that people don’t pull their kids out en masse. Start a Facebook group, set it to be findable but private (require approval to join), and get the local parents together to plan to school your kids without the assistance of your district.

      • Seventh Sister

        I’ve never liked funding based on enrollment, but it does seem to be the one thing that is making my local school district at least attempt to offer in-person instruction. And while it’s usually followed our big local school district, the parents are ticked off enough that at least the superintendent has stopped even mentioning our big local school district when explaining policies.

    • Anon

      I’d be curious how they’d justify not going back in the fall if cases are down and people are vaccinated? I am about 90% sure my high schooler isn’t going back this school year (they are going to prioritize getting the little kids back in, which is completely reasonable) but by August/September I would be very surprised if we are where we are now in terms of case counts and hospitalizations, and there was justification for schools remaining closed. I know in our area, some teachers have been saying they want to work remote permanently and our school board/district has shut that down; they were told to go get a job at a private or charter school doing remote learning if they wanted to do that. K-12 remote learning is not working for most kids/families in our district (we have huge “digital divide” issues) and they are working hard to figure out how to get kids back in school. Even Biden has talked about one of his priorities is getting us to place where schools can reopen.

      I understand your worry, but I also think this is a situation where you have to look at what you can control, and what you can’t control. And also, are you projecting farther out into the future with dire predictions than is warranted. September is 8 months away. The vaccine is out and every day more people are getting vaccinated. Starting today we will have competent people in the administration who believe the pandemic is a problem and will provide guidance and leadership. So there’s reason to be hopeful. Beyond that, are there options for your kids if their schools don’t open in the fall? Could you move them into a private school or transfer them to another district? I know this is a tough situation, and as someone with a tendency to catastrophize I completely get that temptation. But I am sure you know, it ultimately doesn’t help and doesn’t change anything.

      • Anon

        Competent people in DC is great, but our school board is local and we are still stuck with them. They seem to work for school employees (as opposed to kids or parents).

        • Anon

          So then read the rest of my post and start thinking about that other stuff. You definitely won’t find a solution if you don’t look for one, and instead choose to perseverate on the negative and what you can’t control. Sorry to state the obvious, but you could always move, and find a district you find more reasonable/favorable.

        • AIMS

          Maybe the school people are just more vocal? I would call everyone you can from the governor on down, write letters, start a vigil, pen an op-ed, etc. And yes, I would consider moving if I lived somewhere that kept schools completely closed in the fall and thru all year. IF NY can do it, however badly, it can be done.

        • Seventh Sister

          Our local school board seems to need a 12-page manual to change a light bulb, and the teacher’s union seems to want everyone fully vaccinated before in-person light bulb-changing can commence, never mind student instruction. I’m not worried about my seventh grader, but the fourth grader is a depressed ball of misery who isn’t learning much at all.

          It doesn’t help that my mom asks me EVERY TIME we talk about when the kids are going back to school. In her world (rural America), all the kids are back in in-person school with masks, so why don’t I just quit my job and move in with her?

          Also (hot take ahead), I feel like this is one more burden that the working women of America are expected to shoulder without any help, or Goddess forbid, any extra money.

    • BeenThatGuy

      Gently, you have zero control over this so please do not expend all your energy today worrying about what will happen tomorrow (or in 8 months). You’re a mom so that means there is nothing you can’t handle. Please cross the bridge when you get there. And that’s not today.

      • Anon

        This is terrible advice. The solution is not to throw your hands up in the air. The solution is to start thinking about plans B and C – private school, homeschooling, pods, etc. The longer you wait, the more limited your options are going to be.

      • Anon

        Eh, she can make alternate plans and should be thinking about it – private school, day cares like the Y that supervise online schooling (the school just passes the risk to these places), etc. Working from home and taking care of kids is a LOT to handle and in some cases it’s not possible to do it. I’m a mom who can’t handle it and that’s ok. Alternatives exist.

    • anon

      My mom is a teacher. Her district has plans to get teachers vaccinated so they can go back to in person teaching in the spring. Not sure if that will happen, but they will probably go back in the fall.

      • Anon

        Sure let’s sentence them to getting COVID because you can’t handle your kids being at home. Who gives a crap, amirite.

        How would you feel if your mom were a teacher?

        No vaccine, no in-person learning.

        • Anonymous

          I find this comment interesting. My mom is a teacher, and 63. My kids are PK and grade 1. PK is back to full time (for PK), which is 3 days/week 9-1. That’s been the case since they re-opened in September. Elem school has been hybrid with 9-10 kids/class, 2 days/week with 1 “live” remote half day and two “asynchronous” days (3 live check-ins with their main teacher, two live but remote specials, the rest independent work). The biggest issue the schools have right now is subs. Managing a hybrid schedule with all the quarantining that has to happen is out of control.

          We are in MA in a county with a lot of COVID (not Boston though). We’ve stayed hybrid and only had to flip remote on occasion (eg. a kid in my daughter’s cohort reported a positive test Sunday night; they had her entire class go remote on Monday while they contact traced). We have had over 40 COVID cases in our 4 elem schools, ~30 in our middle school and ~80 in our high school. There have been >25 teachers with a positive. Not one of these cases was transmitted in school. In fact, our district reports on cases even if the kids are in the fully remote model and also even if the kids were not in the building (eg. they caught it and were tested over winter break).

        • Anon

          Agree 100%. The folks on this board who don’t value teachers but cannot stand their kids are something else. If the kids are that bad for you, how are they to the teacher?

          • Anon

            This is exactly why people are quitting education in droves. The entitlement is OOC.

          • anon

            Wow–it has nothing to do with not being able to stand my children (actually getting to spend more time with them during the day has been a silver lining of all of this). But I am not trained to teach elementary education. I also have to work, so cannot both work full-time and teach full-time. I want the schools to teach. They are not currently doing that. Virtual school for early elementary is not working. My early elementary child hasn’t had any academic interaction with his teacher. The district doesn’t have any synchronous learning, so his “school” is currently watching assigned youtube/BrainpopJr videos and doing worksheets. His teacher does not provide feedback on his work. His teacher hasn’t even heard him read. I respect teachers. I think they matter. And that is why I don’t think it is acceptable that my child has zero teacher interaction. Asking schools to prioritize actually educating children is not ridiculous–it is why they exist. I also don’t think it is fair that schools are simply passing the risk to the local YMCA and other care providers.

          • Anon

            It has nothing to do with not being able to stand our kids (in fact, being able to spend more time during the day with my kids has been a silver lining in all of this). I don’t think it is ungrateful or entitled to want the school to teach; in many places schools are not doing that well virtually. Our district is not doing synchronous learning, so my child’s early elementary virtual “school” currently consists of watching assigned youtube/BrainpopJr videos and doing worksheets. My child has had zero academic interaction with his teacher. The teacher hasn’t even heard him read. I value teachers and think they matter, which is why I want my child to have one.

          • Anon

            Sorry, OP, but you were ridiculously over the top and now trying to backpeddle. My mind is made up and I feel bad for your kid’s teachers! Glad the school board has staff’s back given pushy parents like you.

          • Anonymous

            +1 to Anon at 3:44.

            I have a high school student in virtual school. We had the option to send her back in person, no distancing, no mask enforcement. We opted to keep her virtual and are glad we did, because there are outbreaks in all of our high schools (yay sports!). But virtual school is a total joke. It’s all videos and quizzes. She is learning nothing and will be woefully unprepared when she returns to real school next year. I have the expertise to tutor her in all of her subjects, but that would drive us both insane and I work full-time.

            I don’t want teachers to put themselves at risk by teaching in the classroom without vaccines. I want the school district to give teachers the resources they need to do real live on-line teaching, then insist that they do it. I want the county to put in place a plan to vaccinate every teacher and school employee who isn’t working from home, every public school student aged 12 and up (assuming the vaccine is authorized for teens over the summer), and every household member of a public school student, in time to develop immunity before school opens in September. And I want the district to get rid of the substandard separate on-line “school” it established and instead allow quarantined and unvaccinated students to participate in regular classes remotely.

        • Anon

          I’m not the OP but my mom is a teacher and my kids aren’t yet school aged (so I don’t have a personal stake in this other than the VAST social benefits to having kids in school) but both me and my mom agree that kids need to be back in school so there’s that

    • Seventh Sister

      If it makes you feel any better, I had the exact same anxiety interlude yesterday. I am d.o.n.e. with online school.

  30. Hildy J.

    Can anyone recommend a liquid hand soap that isn’t drying… maybe even one that’s moisturizing? I’m at a point where I have to slather with hand moisturizer any time I wash my hands, which isn’t super convenient. Thanks.

    • Anon

      I like the bath and body works soaps for this, but honestly, I’ve never found a soap that is truly moisturizing. Inevitably I have to follow up with at least a light hand cream or lotion.

      • Marie

        I agree. I like the foaming hand soaps and they are always on sale, so easy order a few and give it a try. I also really like their hand sanitizer because I don’t find it drying.

    • anon

      The Dove foaming stuff is pretty OK. I wouldn’t call it moisturizing, but it doesn’t strip my hands, either. I also think good ‘ol Softsoap is probably best for this.

      • Anon

        I actually came here to recommend this. Bought this because it was all I could find at Target several months ago, and it’s been the only soap that doesn’t strip my hands and cause cracking/bleeding in the winter, even with extra hand washing.

    • Anon

      I use Vanicream/Free & Clear to ensure that the soap is not irritating my skin in any way and that it’s as gentle as possible. I only seem to get dry hands if I use other soap.

    • Anonymous

      Try to find one without SLS (Sodium Laureth Sulfate). I can occasionally find one of those, and it makes a world of difference. You really need to study ingredients, and are more likely to find one in a perfume free, eco style brand.

    • Z

      Not soap but Dove has a hand sanitizer that is also moisturizing, it dries on the hands about as quick as normal sanitizer, so maybe less greasy hand time than normal hand cream.

    • AIMS

      Trader Joe’s has a French orange soap that’s great. I also love the Avalon Organics soaps (Whole Foods, Amazon); the rosemary one smells amazing. I also started keeping a hand cream in the bathroom and moisturize throughout the day.

    • OP

      Oh wow, thanks for all the good suggestions. I was used to this in the office, with commercial-grade soap, but it’s annoying at home.

      • pnw anon

        I love A La Maison, is full of olive and argon oils. Lots of nice scents, too. I get it at TJMaxx, but have also seen it at Whole Foods.

      • Anon

        Ms. Meyers brand of soaps usually have some sort of oil in them and those have worked out best for us.

    • Anon

      The only one I’ve found that truly moisturizes was Shea Moisture, but it seems like they stopped making it.

    • Anonymous

      I recommend Dr. Bronners in a reusable foam hand soap dispensers. I have plastic ones due to my kids – but they also make glass and ceramic versions as well. To use, fill 1/3 of the container with Dr. B’s, fill the rest with water. Foam soap! I started this when I had two in diapers and I was buying hand soap every week. A bottle of Dr Bs lasts a very long time. I find it not as drying as other soaps. Personally I love the lavender scent, but there are many other choices including unscented.

    • Anon

      Lotion dispenser next to the soap dispenser. It’s the only thing that works.

      If your soap has an effective surfactant that cleans your hands (and I hope it does, because that’s why we wash our hands), it’s inevitably going to take the skin oils that are responsible for moisturizing our skin with it.

      You have to either allow time for your own skin oils to replenish, or if that’s too drying in the short term, use lotion.

  31. Anon

    Love seeing everyone wearing masks and fist bumping and be careful at the inauguration. Such a refreshing change.

  32. arlene

    Anyone know where that pink coat one of the biden grandkids were wearing is from?

  33. Anon

    Spin off of the above poster who asked about remote work – I am in the process of interviewing for a job at a tech company. The position has not been advertised as fully remote, but I know some employees there have been able to negotiate this. When is the best time to try to bring this up? After the offer stage? I would also be willing to be mostly remote and travel to the office a few days per month (45 minute flight). I am also willing to take a pay cut for this privilege (unlike the above poster). Any suggestions?

    • Anon

      I have had a couple friends who successfully negotiated remote work for non-remote positions. Both of them did so right after an offer was extended. I’m sure reasonable minds could differ, but that is what worked for them. They had showcased their talents enough at that point to make a compelling case for it.

    • Anon

      Are you actually willing to do the job in person? If not, I’d bring it up at the beginning so you don’t waste your time.

  34. Anonymous

    Just sharing … I just got my second dose of the vaccine today! And also, my grandma got her first dose yesterday. Can’t wait for it to be available to more people!

    • Anon

      Yay! My husband and both of my sisters have had their first shot. I am lowest priority tier, so mine is months away, but it gives me pleasure to hear your news.

    • PNW

      Such good news! I’m hearing from more and more people that they are “on the list” so I know things are moving.

    • Anon

      How are you doing? I both want to get it but am DREADING it… almost everyone I know got extremely sick after for several days (apparently very common for middle-aged people) and one got BP so simultaneously not looking forward to it at all.

      • Sunflower

        I had the first dose of the Pfizer vaccine and experienced no side effects at all. Second dose will be January 31.

        • Anon

          It’s the second dose that makes you sick— unless you already had covid, in which case it’s the first dose. Two nurse friends recommend scheduling it on a Friday if you can’t miss work because for many people they’re very sick for 24-48 hours afterwards

      • Anonymous

        So far so good! I had moderate arm soreness and mild fatigue after the first dose. So far just some mild arm soreness after the second dose. I’m in my late 30’s ….

  35. Anon

    Omg Justice Sotomayor pronouncing Kamala’s name wrong during the oath makes me so sad.

    • Formerly Lilly

      It gave me an instant knot in my stomach. I hate it for her. I’m a prosecutor and make an affirmative effort to correctly pronounce criminal defendant’s names. Not because I’m wonderful or something, but because it’s just sort of a threshold issue of decency. It doesn’t take a lot of effort. Why oh why did this go wrong on this day for her?

      • AIMS

        It’s not even a hard name & it’s not like we haven’t been hearing it nonstop all year long.
        But that said, as someone whose name gets mispronounced with some regularity I rarely even notice it.

  36. Anonymous

    very trivial but i loved dr. jill biden’s matching teal face mask, gloves and coat ensemble this morning

  37. Anon

    I know- it was all I heard in what should have been a really amazing moment. I’m so sad that that in the most important moment of her life so far, she still didn’t get her name pronounced right. I understand that it’s easy to not know someone’s name initially or mispronounce something once in a while when you don’t have time to check, but in this situation?

    • Blair Waldorf

      OMG. Love! I want someone to make it a podcast so I can listen to it over and over.

    • AnonATL

      Truly no shade meant to her or her outfit, she’s awesome, but what would you call the red piece she had on her hair? A headband? A hat? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it before.

      • Anonymous

        Headband I guess? I think the intent was a crown vibe and I LOVE it! Formal yet fashion forward. Royal vibes for a queen.

      • Anon

        Hatband! Elizabeth Holmes of SMT (not Theranos) reports on royal fashion, and the HRHes are into hatbands!

      • Anon

        I think it was just an alternative way to wear those thick headbands that are in style with Gen Z. It’s entirely possible she had it on as a regular headband and it fell back onto her bun and still looked cool.

  40. Anon

    OMG Garth Brooks almost missed VP Harris. He shook President Biden’s hand, then former VP Pence, and almost walked by VP Harris!

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions