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Thursday’s TPS Report: Linen Belted Dress

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Lord & Taylor is having some great sales, including 55%-70% off clearance. For work, I like this simple linen belted dress — the pockets, the rolled sleeves, the belted waist — it just seems like the perfect safari shirt dress. Was $189, currently marked to $68.03 at Lord & Taylor (limited sizes only; note that they also have it in petites and plus sizes). RalphLauren.com has it in a few more sizes for regulars and plus sizes, but marked to $99 (plus take an additional 25% off for a limited time). LAUREN BY RALPH LAUREN Linen Belted Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.10

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

186 Comments

  1. Aaaaaand threadjack!
    Ladies, how do you motivate yourself?
    I’m not a very driven person and I find myself procrastinating as long as possible before getting things done (that I really can’t delay). Right now, for instance, I have to write a final paper, due on Tuesday. I have no interest in doing it, and food as a reward isn’t an option. I’ve put off doing it for the last week.
    Do you have any suggestions, even for general stuff, of things I can do to get myself moving? I don’t like being un-motivated and I’m old enough to recognize that being like this for the rest of my life can be pretty harmful. I’m old enough to change and ready to, I just need a little help.

    Thanks in advance!

    1. I know exactly how you feel, I’m the same way. When there’s something I have to do that I don’t want to do, I actively prevent myself from doing anything else, i.e. the fun stuff I do want to do, until I get done what has to get done. It’s not fun but it’s how I motivate myself when my nature is telling me to procrastinate.

      That, and I usually bribe myself with makeup or a manicure if I tackle the boring task at hand. Hope this helps and good luck with your final paper!!!

    2. I am the same way. I have to make myself sit down and do it. In school, I would usually write an entire reasearch paper in one sitting (right before it was due). I usually find that once I get started, I can get it done. It is just getting started that is so hard, so I just force myself to do it.

      1. Thanks for posting this because I am the exact same way and the suggestions here have been really helpful.

        I have a hard time getting and staying motivated and procrastinate all day long. I used to think and hope maybe I had ADD because that would help explain my inability to stay focused. But **sigh*** i do not have it and I am just a plain ol’ procrastinator. i had to work until 3 am last night finishing a brief that I have had on my desk for a week, because I could not bring myself to focus on it until yesterday given that it had to be filed today.

    3. I struggle with this myself. Try the Pomodoro technique (Google it), if you haven’t already. It’s a way to force yourself to sit down and focus on something for 25 minutes at a time, plus you know you have built-in breaks where you can go do something “fun” for a few minutes. It can’t hurt.

      2. I’ve always been a procrastinator and recently tried the Pomodoro method. It worked for me and I think I’ll incorporate it into my workday. There’s a free app called pomodroido.

        1. I’m going to try this! I’ve just been awful these past couple months – it’s like I lost my ability to focus while I was on vacation.

    4. Motivation to do things I don’t want to do is verrrryyyy hard for me (hence, commenting on Corporette instead of working on the project I need to finish this morning…)

      Here are the tricks I use:

      1.) Commit to 15 minutes. This is the one I use when I absolutely cannot bring myself to work on something. I decide that I will do 15 minutes (because hey, come on self, fifteen minutes? that’s nothing!) of work towards what I’m supposed to be working on. ANY type of work on it is fine — whether it’s drafting notes that will go along with the software upgrade I’m implementing, working on the lines of code, or even responding to the red flagged email that’s been sitting in my inbox for two weeks about the status of the project. It reminds me that I am perfectly capable of doing this thing that I have built up to be impossible in my head.

      2.) I picture the satisfaction I will have when I’m done doing whatever I’ve been avoiding. Cheesy, but if you commit, it gets easier.

      3.) A really, really stupid reward for each small task I finish related to the project. Finish this small piece and you can put your hair in a ponytail so it stays out of your face! Finish this small piece and you can switch to writing with your cool purple sparkly pen! Finish this small piece and you can mix some Crystal Light into your water bottle!

      Good luck!!!

      1. LOVE your #3 suggestions. I do the same thing. This small piece, and I can get iced tea. This small piece, and I can put on cherry lip balm. Crazy, but it works!

    5. I was going to suggest the Pomodoro Technique, too. The method in a nutshell is discussed in the lower left-hand corner of the home page. Much more information in the links and a free ebook if you’re interested.

      http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/

      Here’s another online app:

      http://mytomatoes.com/

      Google Chrome also has one, called the “Chromodoro.”

    6. Sometimes a very good friend and I write emails to encourage each other. The smallest baby step is encouraged. Sometimes to avoid getting to caught up in emails, we’ll send messages limited to the subject line. E.g.,

      Re: Getting Started Now (NM)
      Re: Made Outline. (NM)
      Re: Collected Materials. (NM)
      Re: Pounded out draft of first section. (NM)

      Take it at whatever level you need, so long as you’re moving forward. If those elaborate, reverse schedules only intimidate you, don’t make one. But know what you need to do and where you need to be in the project in order to make the deadline.

    7. I start something that’s even less desirable to me than the task I need to get done. For example, if I don’t want to review a loan agreement, I start organizing my files. I hate organizing my files, so at some point, the loan agreement starts looking pretty good. (This is how I keep my apartment clean: I bring work home and instead of doing the work, I scrub the toilet.)

      1. I make a list of all the things I need to do each day, and then force myself to start with the thing I least want to do. Once you’ve already procrastinated about something, it can begin to seem insurmountable. I agree with other comments that when that happens, it’s very helpful to get back in the groove by working on the project for set and limited amounts of time.

        1. Me too! I have a very big trial starting in a couple of months, and instead of moving into the intense prep mode in June, I painted the interior of my house. Got a lot of good thinking in though, and now am ready and psyched for the intense prep work.

  2. If this is the ‘doutzen’ dress, I own it and wish I hadn’t bought it. Wrinkles easily, rather shapeless, and looks blah( at least on me). I usually look good in dresses but this one was a miss. Fwiw I’m a size 8/10.

  3. What’s with the wacky poses on the website? This is cute, but shirtdresses never work on me…

  4. Wrap dress PSA! Ladies, I received this dress in the mail last night, and it is fabulous. http://www.landsend.com/pp/LongSleeveCottonModalWrapDress~218483_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::SPB&CM_MERCH=IDX_Overstocks-_-Women-_-DressesSkirts&origin=index

    I’m not usually a huge Lands’ End enthusiast; while I love the quality, I often find the styles to be a bit boxy for a late 20s corporette. That said, this wrap dress is fabulous — thick, substantial material and drapes nicely. AND, it’s only $27, available in ladies’, petites, and plus in a variety of sizes and colors, plus I bet you can find a coupon online (I got mine for addt’l 30% off + free shipping). I see some people thought the dress was a bit short; I got it in a 2P (my normal size), and it fit true-to-size and length as described on the site for me. I have a ton of BR and Boden wraps, and I’d say this one is definitely better quality than the BR wraps, and gives the Boden ones a run for their money!

    Anyway, just thought y’all might benefit from my bargain find. ;)

    1. PS — although a lot of the sizes show as “unavailable” when you look quickly at the site, if you click your size, you’ll see that all the sizes still listed on the page are still available in at least one color…

    2. Was about to pull the trigger on this dress as a result of your review (the ones on the site are so mixed), but couldn’t find a coupon code that was good for free shipping, no minimum, aside from one that was good only for Canadian addresses. If you would post the coupon code you had luck with, I’d greatly appreciate it (and hope they still have the black dress in something approaching my size!).

      Thanks!

        1. Ah, I understand. Thanks anyway, and thanks for the recommendation. It has me stalking the 3/4 length sleeve version of the dress (in purple, and I note the dress is an inch longer than the dress you link to, possibly in response to feedback they received from commenters about the dress being too short).

          I’m using shopping notes to let me know when it goes on sale….

          1. According to retailmenot this code worked today: coupon code:
            CLASSROOM PIN: 8416Save $10 on any $50 order, plus get free shipping on any order of $50 or more. Expires 8/15/2011

    3. I bought and returned this dress. I didn’t like how cottony this material looked. It would be great for a casual day but not dressy enough for work for me. I did like that the material was thick though so did camoflauge bumps.

    4. Thank you! Have been looking for wrap dresses and at this price point, why not. Purchased “teaberry” color.

  5. Bummer – I got this dress in navy blue at the Ralph Lauren outlet for $99. I thought I was getting such a good deal! Very annoying that its so cheap now. I also agree with the poster above, the dress is a bit shapeless. I tried it with a wide leather belt to give it more structure, but it didn’t look great. But, on a crazy hot summer day, the linen does feel pretty good.

  6. Threadjack: My husband is currently creating a CV for a fellowship (post residency). We were debating last night whether he should put that we are involved in our church; for example, we are on the greeting team. My thought is that he should put it because it shows involvement in the community and that you are doing something besides working. He is afraid it might turn some people off. Thoughts?

    1. I think this depends where you are/where the job is located. In my city (Boston), I think some would be turned off, but I have friends who applied for jobs in DC and North Carolina with church-related involvement on their resumes and people were pleased to see that there.

      It may also be a profession-by-profession thing, too. While I do know of some attorneys who are involved with their religious institution, my friends in the medical community are not. Don’t know if that’s just my friends/my relatively small sample size or if it’s a more widespread trend.

      1. Ditto to the above. My husband is an atheist and thinks people involved in church are wacky, and we are in Boston.

        My parents are involved in their church, however, and have been for 30 years, and my father is a physician.

    2. Wow, interesting question.

      I think this is partly a question of geography. I currently live in the South, and have noticed that resumes and attorney website biographies frequently reference place-of-worship involvement as a brief line item, whereas I very rarely (if ever) saw the same thing up North.

      I also think that you have to ask yourself whether or not you would want to work somewhere that would ding you because you put your involvement on your resume.

      I can tell you that as a non-churchgoing Christian, I would not bat an eye at any place-of-worship involvement briefly mentioned on a CV as an interest/involvement. But I don’t know if my view is the majority one or not.

      I’m also very curious about what a “greeting team” is…

      1. Folks who stand inside the doorway before services and shake hands with everyone who comes in, newbie or old friend. In my experience, it is a formalized thing that people (often couples) commit to doing in advance.

        1. Ok, then I wonder how that’s community service. That doesn’t seem to benefit the community, just the limited number people already going to your church anyway.

          1. This is the anon from above. I’m not really saying it’s community service. I’m just saying it is involvement in the community – meaning, he’s made a commitment to be there, he’s involved in our church, he is friendly, and he does stuff outside of work.

          2. And it is service to an extent (although only serving the church) because it makes people feel welcome, particularly newcomers who are attending the church for the first time. I get that that doesn’t mean much to someone who is not religious, but my thought is that it still shows a willingness to commit to something and inconvenience yourself to help others.

    3. I’d avoid it. Religion is something that should be unrelated to a job search. Unless he is applying to work at a church! I am a Christian myself but I just think it’s something that can be brought up later, not during an interview/application. Especially if he is applying for a government job–religious qualifications are irrelevant and might make him come across as too zealous to be religiously neutral in the job. But that’ s just my 2cents.

    4. I side with your husband on this one; religion does not have a place in most workplaces. Could he illustrate community involvement via secular descriptions of what you do (e.g., volunteering, building low income housing, fundraising for Appalachia) in the “Interests” section?

      1. The problem is that he has been an intern and a resident for the last few years, so he works all. the. time. He hasn’t had much opportunity to serve the community, although he did a ton of that before he entered residency. He still supports lots of groups financially, etc. In other words, he feels like he needs to have something to say that he does outside of work.

    5. What is a greeting team? If it’s a position of some responsibility and time commitment, e.g., a youth group leader or serving on the board, then I would include definitely include it on the resume. Leadership and management skills are valuable assets that a potential employer should know about regardless of what type of organization you’re leading/managing. If the greeting team is either a group that greets new members to the church comminity (baking, arranging social gatherings, etc.) or if they’re ushers at services, I would leave it off. These aren’t really activities that an employer would care about and the fact that it’s associated with a church makes it look like you’re just trying to put your religious affiliation on your resume.

      That being said, I won’t exclude the possibility that religious affiliation could be very important wherever he’s looking for work. If you live in a market where church is a really central part of everyone’s life, then it might be advisable to include it. I don’t have any personal experience with that, but maybe other corporettes can advise. Good luck to you and your hubby!

    6. People in my office have gotten into religious debates (ugh) that haven’t been the best for morale and management would definitely prefer people leaving their religious (and political) views at home. In light of that, if he were applying to work at my office I think he’d be much better off not touting strong religious (or political) affiliations. NYC here.

      1. I once tried, on office time to discuss a conflict with a co-worker and she turned away from me and said she was praying. She was using her religion as an excuse. You would think a lawyer would realize that’s illegal.

        Unfortunately, many of the most religious I encounter in workplaces aren’t very bright.

        2. If I were the praying type, I’d pray for you, too. I admire the type. Not so, yours.

          1. Although I don’t think that Counselorcap’s last statement was necessary or appropriate on this forum, I hardly think that just voicing an abjectionable opinion renders someone a “troll” (and, yes, I understand what that term means).

          2. It’s becoming a habit to call someone out as a troll if they express an opinion that is harsh, or make a statement that stings. counselorcap posted a substantial reply above so I doubt she is a “troll”. Her comment that religous folks in her office “aren’t very bright” is insensitive and offensive to many but it certaintly doesn’t evidence that she is a “troll”.

            Let’s save the troll identification to the Ellens of the world.

        4. Ouch. As a practicing christian, I am a little offended you think we is all dumb! hehe…

          Joking aside – the topic of religion is always an iffy one for me, as i never quite know where to land. I do not want to be ashamed of my beliefs but I also don’t want to put people off when there is no reason to do so. I used to teach adult Sunday School at my place of worship and I actively participate in womens’ bible studies in my city. And, if you google me, you will find these things about me, along with professional information and the couple of legal articles I have written. Once in a while, I wonder if this is disadvantageous since a potential employer can google me and find that I am a christian and may be put off.

          BTW, the managing partner at my previous firm was very actively involved in his church – this is in Los Angeles, no less.

          OP, i agree with the poster who recommended leaving it on his resume if his position as a greeter is a leadership type position or a position that shows that he has skills relevant for residency. if not, it may be better to leave it off as it is not particularly relevant. However, if he is asked about community involvement in an interview, I do not see why he could not mention that he is involved with his church.

    7. I think it depends on where you are, and what your church is. In my area, it might be a little strange, but probably not a deal breaker unless it was one of the religions which is really unpopular in my area, like those known for being anti-LGBT or otherwise vociferously intolerant. After Prop 8, the vociferously Mormon and Catholic are not popular in a lot of circles in the SF area, for example.

      Maybe a better way is to emphasize your participation in community service/charity through your church? Everyone can agree that charity is a good thing – building a Habitat for Humanity house is a good deed regardless of the group you’re going with. Frankly, I don’t know how much good it does to your community for you to greet people already going to your church. Then again, I have zero idea what a greeting team is – it makes me think of Walmart greeters, but that is probably not it.

      2. I’d agree regarding not including the church on a CV in the SF bay area. It will only cause the hiring committee to second question whether a “religious” person will fit into the office culture–especially as most offices here are LGBT-friendly.

        Regarding being “too busy” to participate in the community during a fellowship, that’s actually expected. I don’t think it would any kind of “black mark” if a person in your husband’s situation were not involved in the community while he was working–and was expected to work–all the time.

        1. But then again, I have a friend in LA who specifically got her job because her and the interviewer have the same favorite pope–and this particular pope is very unpopular outside of the Catholic church.

          I think her resume included some church-related activities. So YMMV.

    8. So I’ve thought about this some more, and I think you should leave it off the CV. I’ve always understood the point of the “Interests/Activities” line on a CV to be two-fold: (1) gives an idea of who you are/what you enjoy doing outside the office, AND (2) gives your interviewer an ice breaker. The problem is that worship-related activities don’t really fit into #2 because NO ONE in their right mind is going to initiate a conversation about religion during an interview, unless religion is actually germane to the position you’re applying for (pastor, etc).

      1. I could go either way on this one and I don’t think it’s that big a deal to mention it. I have a couple of lines of “interests” and a larger section for volunteer work (I do a lot of volunteering) on my resume, and I would include my involvement in my church if I was doing something there (currently not). It shows that you have a life outside work, and, if it is an ongoing commitment, that you are reliable. I wouldn’t bat an eye if I saw a reference to church activities on the resume of someone I was interviewing, and I would treat it like any other hobby/interest reference. Pacific Northwest (Canada) for regional reference…

      2. I don’t know that I agree with that statement. My husband volunteers every year for a religious teen camp in Northern California. He has always listed that on his CV and was asked about it at all of his interviews when we moved to the east coast from California. Perhaps this is different from a church greeter, but even religious activities are an ice-breaker if you put it out there first.

    10. I’m a public interest lawyer in DC, and although many of my colleagues are not religious, we like to see items on a resume that indicate community involvement, which may include church activities. So it would be a positive for us and probably for many other public interest type jobs. For a doctor, i don’t know if it would matter one way or another, unless he’s applying to a hospital with a particular public service focus or a religious affiliation.

    11. I would avoid it, I think — but I’d need more context. My husband just finished a fellowship and like many fellowships, it has a strong research component and he worked with a TON of completely science geek PhDs. There are definitely exceptions, but if I had to guess, I’d say science dudes tend to be less religious. Even more so if you’re going to be on the coasts or in an urban area.

      1. Health care is a bit different than other industries. Ordinarily, I would give a blanket statement to leave it off at risk of offending. But a lot of hospitals were started by nuns and still hold tight to their religious affiliations as part of their overall missions of care. Scan a few websites for mission statements (for example: http://www.chwhealth.org/Who_We_Are/Our_Mission_Vision_And_Values/index.htm and you’ll see what I mean. Faith-based organizations make up a large part of the market (not as much as they used to, but still a large presence). If he is targeting one of these not-for-profits, then it would be seen as a positive. (You would be surprised–even the accounting folks are often quick to reference the faith-based missions of the organization.) I think it really depends who he is targeting.

    12. Unless it’s a hospital that is affiliated with religious group I would definitely leave it off. It’s irrelevant and could create the wrong impression.

      Assuming the applicant comes off as a person of good character, nobody will care that he’s devoted himself to learning how to be a good doctor at the expense of outside activities. That’s expected.

      I want my doctor to know his/her stuff cold, not to pray for divine intervention.

      2. “Assuming the applicant comes off as a person of good character, nobody will care that he’s devoted himself to learning how to be a good doctor at the expense of outside activities. That’s expected.”

        Do you know this because you are a physician, Counselorcap? I am not, but my husband says community involvement and outside activites were heavily stressed while he was in residency. He was advised to participate in something and then put it on his CV. The advice was something like “everyone works hard in med school and residency. everyone is smart. you need something showing there is more to you than medicine because doctors should be pillars of the community.” I know this is hokey sounding, but it is true.

        And like I said, his outside interests/activities were discussed in each of his interviews. I think people want to know the doctor they are hiring was *so* brilliant he could be a star doctor and still have dedicate himself to the community in some way?

        2. Yeah, but for a fellowship application, the only thing programs care about is your research, publications, and poster presentations. My husband got into a decently competitive fellowship and that’s basically all that mattered.

        3. Wow, my husband’s experience was completely the opposite, but he did a surgical residency and fellowship (one in Boston, the other in Los Angeles). Nobody was expected to have done anything outside the hospital, but they did focus on grades, research and recommendations. These days, with the restrictions on the resident work hours, fellows (and attendings) are expected to be in the hospital even more as someone has to get the work done so I would expect there to be more rather than less focus on “outside” activities.

          As to the original question, I think the religious reference is more likely to hurt than help.

    13. I’d leave it off. As others have mentioned, you risk turning some people off. It would be one thing if he led a weekly bible study or had some more in-depth involvement, but I’m not sure that being a greeter is really that great of a demonstration of involvement in the community (in resume terms). I’d just read each individual interviewer and bring it up if it seems appropriate on a case-by-case basis.
      Good luck to your husband!

    14. My husband is a physician and he lists his church and youth group involvement on every CV. It is a big part of who he is and means a lot to him. We have lived on east coast and west coast and he has never not received a job for which he applied. That seems to indicate to me that it isn’t a big deal in the medical world even outside the deep south.

    15. Since leaving my previous comment above, I’ve been thinking about this some more and am really troubled by the fact that OP even felt the need to ask this question. Why is involvement in one’s place of worship any different than any other interest? Why does it matter which industry her husband is in? Your resume is about you. It is meant to paint a picture of you so your employer knows what they are getting. Why would you hide something like that that is an important part of your life? If it is important to you and doesn’t involve breaking the law, put it in. Why are people so oversensitive about religious activity anyway? Sheesh. Just because someone goes to church or synagogue or prays five times a day does not mean they are about to preach to you.

      I’m sorry for the rant, I just find this entire premise really frustrating.

      1. Sometimes I think our community of primarily women lawyers and other “corporate” types lend us to be overly-sensitive of potentially divisive issues? We try very, very hard to always be politically correct and never do anything that could possibly, maybe offend even one person. Being around a lot of medical types, I find they tend to be much more liberal to discussing anything and everything and not in a politically correct way. I wonder whether this is true in other sectors of the work-force?

        I am not saying one way is right or wrong, but I think our commenter culture trends toward very careful speech.

      2. Agree completely. Or to put it another way: would you really want to work for an employer who would (illegally) ding someone because they attend religious services?

    16. I live out of the US in a multi-cultural city but am also in the same field, and have read all through the comments and replies.
      Id definitely leave it out.

      I think someone with strong views on religion (I’m thinking atheist/ agnostic) might be uncomfortable with the reference to religion and get unnecessarily paranoid wondering why he made reference to it when, as mentioned above it was not a hugely significant commitment he was referring to.

      Interns and residents work so hard I think its quite understandable that he has not been doing a lot outside of work.

      Where I am, we are able to mention other relevant or related skills, which has given me the opportunity to show off things I did some time before also.
      This let me project myself as a good team member and a “people person” which I think is what this dilemma is ultimately about.
      That’s my take – good luck either way!

    17. Kat, this might be an interesting question for a post. How do you deal with things like moral beliefs and religion in the workplace? The seemingly obvious answer is to shut up about them, I suppose, but what about when questions arise?

      ex. colleagues discussing gay marriage say “it’s so great it passed in NY! I can’t believe anyone would oppose it! Don’t you agree?” (and you disagree, for cultural, religious, or other reasons.)

      Or the inevitable “religious people are all idiot republicans! Why aren’t you chuckling at this statement with me?” (you aren’t because you’re a committed catholic).

      What do you do when people disparage your beliefs, or consider your stand on some things (that aren’t work related) to be a dealbreaker? How should one deal with that?

      1. I think on the first topic (gay marriage) the idea that it’s a basic equality issue akin to civil rights issues in the past has really caught on. If I held an opposing view, I certainly would not voice it given how bigoted that view sounds.

        In terms of blanket statements about all religious people being idiots, I think it’s fine to offer counterexamples.

        So, it’s case by case.

      2. Or judge you based on your religion. I’m Catholic but I support civil gay marriage, seperation of church and state, and am a liberal democrat. You would be surprised how many think I am a “bad Catholic” because of my political beliefs and how many presuppose my political beliefs based on my religious beliefs.

        1. FYI, there are plenty of reasons to disagree with gay marriage that are not bigoted and have nothing to do with treating gay people fairly, kindly, and respectfully in areas of every day interaction. People like you labeling ALL reasons for disagreeing as bigoted are the ones who create the hostility.

          2. And, so, what are those “plenty of reasons” to disagree with gay marriage exactly? I mean, that are not based on the “Bible says its so?”

      3. Interesting how one sides your examples are, Yahoo. It’s as if only liberals are capable of judgment.

        1. Hit “submit” too soon.

          At any rate, in response to your actual question, I think the less said about this sort of stuff at work, the better. If everyone followed that rule, it would be relatively problem-free for everyone. To the extent that people do bring up things you find objectionable, you can either give a non committal response and move on, or voice your opinion in a polite way and then move on. E.g., if someone said to me that “religious people are all idiot republicans,” I would just say something like “there are enough idiots on all sides to go around,” or if, heaven forfend, I was so offended I couldn’t possibly make anything resembling a joke, I would just say, “I don’t think that’s true” and walk away.

          1. Or, if more were said, people would see that there are no types, only people. We all accidentally and incorrectly judge others and other groups because of our innocence/ignorance, and because we don’t talk and represent.

            I don’t think anyone should make any part of themselves their overriding characteristic at work, beyond their work– fashion, gender, sexuality, politics, religion. But neither should we live in the closet or be ashamed to be ourselves nor shame others for being themselves.

            Be who you are and let others be who they are. If you have an interest and someone asks your interest, answer. We can be so savvy at protecting ourselves that we cease to be ourselves.

          3. @ anonymous — I wasn’t advocating that anyone hide who they are. I just think that, unfortunately, religion and politics are so personal to people that they are best avoided insofar as possible as topics of discussion at work. That’s not to say you can’t “represent” who you are. But that doesn’t mean you need to have debate about gay marriage with your opinionated co-workers either. As a very general rule of thumb, I think it is just easier for all concerned to say less with some people (i.e., the argumentative, take everything intensely personally types).

        2. I am non religious and have nothing against any religion, I just don’t believe in organized religion as a whole. As a result I often have “good Christians” telling me how great people are because they’re Christians or “I just can’t believe they would do that. They’re good Christian people.” When, or if, you ever tell them that you are not religious oh does the judging come out in my experience. So It goes to both sides. I agree with AIMS that if everyone just leaves it alone outside of work it is better for everyone.

          As an aside I know that not all Christians are like that, nor are all Jewish, Muslim, or Non religious people the same. That has just been my experience and is offered merely to show that there are two sides to this argument.

      4. I think it would be a great topic for a post too.

        Having witnessed some bizarre religion-based debates in the workplace I steer well away from them, since my co-workers are so disparate in their views.

    18. Discussed this recently with a coworker re resumes in the law firm context. We both voted no on including stuff like this. I’m in Texas, and I would be put off by it. Plus, no offense, but what relevancy does it have to your husband’s qualifications for the fellowship?

    19. I say leave it off. If it was something more involved (tutoring, starting a youth program, etc.) that was connected to the church, then maybe the risk of putting religion out there would be worth the gain of having substantial community service on his CV. But being part of a greeting team seems pretty light-weight – almost fun. I’m not sure it really shows dedication to community service.

    20. I’d avoid it. As a non-Christian who’s had one to many Christians try to convert me/tell me why my religion was wrong/etc. I’d be hesitant about anyone who goes out of their way to mention a religious activity on a CV…

    21. Interviewer: “Greeting team…tell me about that.”
      Husband: “Once a week I shake hands with people who share my religious views.”
      I’m not seeing the value. He can demonstrate his ability to be warm and engaging and friendly in an interview.

      (So says an Atheist who doesn’t judge people for being religious, provided they don’t judge me.)

      1. Rock on. I think it’d be fine to list it. But this is the loveliest comment here.

      2. Or:

        Interviewer: “Greeting team…tell me about that.”
        Husband: “Well, it’s pretty simple – I greet people before our church service, hand out the order of service, take collection, things like that. It isn’t very complicated. But it is important because in my neighbourhood, a lot of people who come to church these days may be coming for the first time in many years, or may just be coming to check it out for the first time, or might need support of some kind. The greeters are important because we help people feel welcome. We give them the support and encouragement they might need to feel comfortable, and the sense of community that a lot of people are looking for these days. We make sure that our hearing-impaired visitors are hooked up to the sound system, and we find spots for those who have trouble walking. I’ve been doing this every Sunday for the past 5 years and I think it provides a valuable service for people who might not otherwise be able to come to our services.”
        Interviewer: “Wow, every Sunday for 5 years, that is a big commitment.”

          1. Yeah… It still doesn’t seem very hard or impressive. That’s just being helpful and friendly at church for what, an extra 20 minutes every Sunday? It just seems a little too weak for inclusion on the CV.

    22. I’m late to this thread, but for whatever my opinion is worth, here goes.

      If it’s important to him, and some aspect of that activity is relevant or community-involved, list it but be honest and unapologetic about it.

      I’m not giving any secrets away by saying I live in Utah, since it’s basically right there in my link. I see tons of resumes from law students who are members of the LDS church and have served religious missions; most of those who have done so list it on their resume under religious, volunteer, or community activities.

      I don’t judge people one way or the other for listing this: it’s something they’ve invested (usually) two years of their lives in, usually learned a new language for, etc. What I can’t help but be annoyed by is when they describe their mission as a “volunteer church representative” and minimize the religious aspect, because it reads to me like they’ve been coached not to be too “churchy” for fear of rubbing non-LDS people the wrong way.

      If you go too far out of your way to avoid turning people off, you’re almost guaranteed to turn someone off.

    23. I’m a devout Catholic and it is a huge part of who I am, so I always list my church-related activities in “interests.” I know it might turn some people off, but it has also gotten me noticed by people who gave me some of the best jobs of my career. To me, if a potential supervisor (or recruiter or future coworker or whoever) was going to illegally discriminate against me in hiring because I’m Catholic, then I wouldn’t want to work at that office.

      1. Something that I see a lot of here is people saying it’s ok to GET the job because of of religion but not to get passed over the job because of religion. No one sees a problem with this?

        1. Swap “Catholic” for “Islamic” or “Hindu” and ask the same question. Seriously, it’s interesting to ponder.

        3. I see it as an issue. I went to a Catholic undergrad and was involved in Catholic based service activities that were on my resume right out of law school. They were there to show my connection to a community I was trying to move back to. I got the job – but soon realized that some were drawn to me due to similar religious beliefs more so than for my connection to the community. I spent the rest of the time at that job feeling like a fraud because I am no longer very involved in the established religion.

          I’d get ask to do xy and z with the Catholic lawyers group and was always dodging why I didn’t want to participate. Mixing religion and work is a slippery slope.

  7. Threadjack:

    I have been looking, fruitlessly, for a basic t-shirt/jersey dress of decent quality (something that isn’t see through when I turn the wrong way). I just want something I can throw on on the weekends with cute flats and jewelry, and head out the door, expecially when it hits the high 90s.

    Has anyone seen something like this this summer? The closest thing I’ve found is this Old Navy dress, but it’s sold out in my size in the only color I liked.

    http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=68334&vid=1&pid=839527&scid=839527002

    I’m willing to pay more, I just can’t find what I’m looking for — any suggestions appreciated!

    1. Garnet Hill has a wide selection of t-shirt kind of dresses. Check out J Jill, too.

      1. I bought one by Leo & Sage on a sample sale site that is very cute, comfortable and versatile. Not sure what places carry that brand ordinarily though.

    4. I have been living in this one from Boden on the weekends since the weather turned hot in Chicagoland:
      http://tinyurl.com/3qexoqk

      It’s sleeveless, so I don’t know if this one is a “t-shirt” style, but Boden has lots of short-sleeve casual dresses too (the “drapey shift” e.g.). And summer sale has started.

      (I also got two work-appropriate (at my office) sheaths earlier this year that I am wearing a lot. I’m officially a fan now.)

    5. I just bought two dresses from fivebamboo dot com. I haven’t received them yet, so I can’t comment on the quality, but I’ve heard they’re nice. Use code katheats15 to get 15% off.

      1. Thanks all! Some of these look very good. I guess I should have been clearer that I am looking for something with sleeves (even short ones). How could I have forgotten that specification after reading this site so often? =)

    6. I’d also check out Athleta and (not joking) Soma Intimates. I’ve bought a few “Cool Days” jersey dresses from Soma for the weekend (something I can throw on with flip flops in the horrible Texas summer) and I love them.

    8. I got a Merona Woman’s Essential Cap Sleeve dress (couldn’t make it link) from Target a few months ago that I’m happy with. Cheap, easy to wear, soft material, fun colors.

    9. I got a t-shirt dress from the Horny Toad outlet recently that I really like. They had several styles and some nice colors in addition to black/grey. I think Athleta and/or Title 9 carry some of their stuff, if you don’t have a store near you. If I find a link to the one I got, I’ll post again.

      1. JJill has some with long-ish short sleeves (they completely cover the bicep). Cotton/Spandex/Modal. Last time I checked they were on sale for $39.99

  8. Is there any good way to stop linen from wrinkling (or at least lessen it)? I bought a wonderful linen pencil skirt from J. Crew. It looks so nice first thing in the morning, but by midday it looks like an accordian file. Is there anything I can do to prevent it?

    1. Don’t ever sit down? ;)

      Nothing will stop linen from wrinkling–either embrace it as a feature, not a bug, or buy linen-looking blends…..

  9. why is my comment in moderation??? Here it is again . . .

    I have a question, Corporettes — can someone recommend a good reproductive doc to help diagnose fertility problems and suggest options in DC? I would love it to be someone affiliated with Georgetown (where I work — too private to ask people in person for a rec), but would take any great recommendation at this point, regardless of the hospital.

    Thank you!

    1. I second this request…almost posted the same question myself. North Arlington would work/be preferred for me as well.

    2. If you don’t get responses here, look for threads on this over at dcurbanmom.com in their TTC forum. That website is *certainly* not a supportive community like we have here (in general more than a bit b-tchy, though the TTC forums may be different), but full of lots of recommendations and references for this sort of thing.

    3. We really liked Dr. Frankfurter at GWU. I have to add in the caveat that a lot of the docs will push IVF. The problem is on my husband’s side so we’re working with Dr. Shin right now who has given us a lot of hope. If we do end up going the IVF route, we will return to Dr. Frankfurter.

      1. Thank you — we are hoping we can try other drugs/options before IVF, but will see where it takes us.

    4. Shady Grove Fertility used to be associated with Georgetown, not sure if they currently are. Dr. Widra has a good reputation. Columbia Fertility tends to deal with an older demographic/more challenging cases. Dr Sacks is well regarded. GW and Dr Frankfurter also tend to deal with more challenging cases. I’ve hear decent things about Dominion Fertility in Arlington but the person that I know that went there eventually went somewhere else.

      Washingtonian magazine medical doctor survey, DCUrban moms and googling the doctors’ names will give you a wealth of information.

  10. Lo & Sons is offering a discount of 35% off until July 18, 2011.

    Discount Code: EXPRESSO

  12. This is me, jacking this thread. Can anyone comment on whether the Clarisonic brush/Mia/Olay knock-off is good for exfoliation? It seems like it very obviously would be, but when I think about it, I only ever see people mention it vis-à-vis cleaning their skin, not actual exfoliation. I just started Retin-A and it’d be nice to have something to exfoliate besides the attractive method I’m using now of “peeling strips of skin off my face.”

    1. I use the Olay pro-x and it is great for exfoliation (I also use it with the cleanser/wash that came with it – bought a full version, and it has those little exfoliating beads – I know Clarisonic says not to use an exfoliating wash).

      How are you liking the Retin-A so far? I’m thinking of getting an rx next time I see my doctor.

      1. Very much recommend the Retin-A! This is actually my second or third time on it (my prescription ran out before), and once you soldier through the peel-y stage, your skin just glows. I have cystic acne and have done a few rounds of Accutane, too, but I think the Retin-A helped even more in that it got rid of scarring and all the little blemishes that aren’t quite full on cystic acne. It’s also decreased fine lines for members of my family (I’m using it for acne, not wrinkles.) Basically a miracle drug– but wear sunscreen!

        1. Thanks, sounds like we have similar skin, unfortunately! I know it won’t prevent the cystic acne but glad to hear how helpful you’ve still found it.

        2. I would really recommend trying the Paula’s Choice CLEAR line – it has really helped my cystic acne. I use the extra strength, but I actually wish I’d gotten the regular strength because I find the extra strength quite drying and had to cut down on how often I use it.

    2. I have the Clarisonic brush and can attest to its exfoliating magic. I especially notice it around my cheeks and T-zone, just one round (60 seconds) and you can feel how much smoother your skin is. I’ve been using mine since the end of January and have noticed a huge difference in how my skin looks, for the better!

    3. Yes, I find that it is helpful for my skin, which needs a good deal of exfoliation (I believe it’s called keratosis pilaris – the skin cells accumulate more than they should). I try to avoid Rx treatments, so I bought a Clarisonic Plus to use on my face and body.

      I just use it with my regular face/body wash, and it is very helpful when I’m diligent about using it. I highly recommend the Plus if you’re looking for exfoliation, because it has three speeds, rather than one (Mia) or two (standard Clarisonic model).

      Hope that helps!

      1. I’ve used the Olay on my face, and it looked awesome, until it started drying out my skin :( So I stopped using it, but probably could have used it with moderation (just a few times a week instead of daily.)

        I also have KP and I never thought to try it for that! My KP is worst on my upper arms, but also have some on my upper thighs (it mysteriously started last year?) A lot of people say that their KP is worse in the winter, but mine seems to look better then, and I think it has to do with my skin being drier. I’m going to buy another Olay (because I think its the least expensive out there) and try it on my arms (but not on my face!) It has to be better than constantly trying to stop myself from picking at my arms!

        1. Anon from above here – yep, mine is worst on my arms too. I use the highest speed in the shower with my regular body wash (trader joes tea tree body wash). If I follow with moisturizer after I get out of the shower, it really helps to reduce the bumps.

    4. Gimpy, if you want to go the non-brush route, I just got an amazing scrub from Origins. It makes your skin look noticeably smoother after one use and no iritation like so many others. You can literally see dead skin come off.

    5. I use the Olay Pro-X (with a Paula’s Choice CLEAR cleanser, not the Olay cleanser that comes with it). I think it’s great for removing dead skin cells and making the surface of your skin feel much softer. I find it less abrasive than rubbing with a washcloth. I use it twice a day, on the lower speed.

    6. Oh good, you’ve given me an opening to tell ya’ll that I have upgraded from the Olay to the Clarisonic, and I think there is a major difference. I don’t have acne, so I was looking mainly for exfoliation / anti-aging benefits.

      At first, the Olay was good and really got rid of some built-up skin on my forehead. But after a couple of months, it wasn’t doing the same job. I took the plunge on the Clarisonic for my birthday and have been shocked at how much better it is. At first, I didn’t think there was a big difference, but after a week of use I realized that I actually didn’t need to use it everyday – my skin was still soft and dewy. I don’t understand all the science, but I do think the Clarisonic is a superior product.

      Also, I got the Pro so I could use the body brush, and I’ve been pleased. I’m still making headway on the dry, built-up skin in the back of my legs, but it does seem to be improving.

      1. I’m so glad you posted this!
        I have been dying to get one of these, and haven’t taken the plunge because I can’t decide which one to get. I don’t want to get the Olay one, only to then upgrade to the Clarisonic and waste that money. But I also don’t want to get the Clarisonic if the Olay is just as good for a fraction of the cost! And, in terms of reviews, people either use one or the other and no one can really compare the two, so it’s just very frustrating. Thanks so very much :)

        1. Before I bought I read a couple comparative reviews, which is what tipped me toward buying the Olay one – one reviewer found no difference, and the other liked the Olay better. I think I found it just by googling for Clarisonic reviews. Beautypedia.com has reviews of both, but I actually disagree with their conclusions in the Olay review: they found that the brush didn’t last long and neither did the batteries, but I’ve been using both for 6 weeks and both are still going strong.

        2. Oh, also check out the reviews on makeup alley (registration required, but oh so worth it).

    7. I have a clarisonic and love it. It gets your skin really clean but I think it’s also pretty good at exfoliating, as it leaves my skin very smooth.

      Related question: how do people like Retin-A? And how difficult is it to get a prescription? I am in my late 20s, never had cystic acne, have a few tiny lines and some very mild acne (usually hormonal) once or twice a month. I’m interested because I have heard good things re: preventing wrinkles and because, while my skin is far from terrible, I have large pores, some acne scars, and a fair amount of colorless bumps (do’nt now what to call them- I usually get them on my forehead- probably related to sweating). In any event, I’d love to have “beautiful” skin, rather than just “decent”. Is this the type of thing a doctor would prescribe Retin-A for? And for those of you who have tried it, are the side effects (peeling, staying out of the sun) worth it, vis-a-vis the results?

      Thanks!

      1. I saw a dermatologist and got a prescription for Retin-A to help with my acne. My acne wasn’t terrible – I have combo skin with breakouts in the T-zone area, mostly the chin, and dry elsewhere. The Retin-A did help with the acne, but I’m sorry to say that I never experienced the glowing skin that some people report. I never really got past the flaky stage, even though I used it for almost all of law school. My current dermatologist took me off Retin-A and just has me taking an oral antibiotic becuase he said the peeling was just drawing attention to what has become a very mild case of acne. FWIW, I used the generic cream – my current derm told me when I started seeing him that many people have better results with the gel, but he hasn’t tried that on me.

      2. Agree with A Regular. My skin is too damned sensitive. Retin-A just dried me out and made my skin peel like crazy. Never again.

        Best thing I’ve found for acne scars/hyperpigmentation: 1. Sun block. Always. 2. Clarisonic brush. 3. Arcona Lightening Drops. Takes time, but it works.

        1. I did IPL sessions with an aesthetician at my derm’s office to help with acne scars and it did wonders. It’s not cheap ($300 a session–includes a chem peel a week after and she recommended 4 sessions with about one session a year after that. It was also kind of painful the first time. But it honestly has been like a miracle. I’ve had friends (one guy even!) compliment me on how great my skin looks. It also took care of some broken capillaries. Anyway, just thought I’d recommend if you’re not finding the lightening doing enough or are getting impatient.

          2. IPL is intense pulse light. It also goes by the name “photofacial.” It’s a treatment where they numb your face with a gel and then take a laser in short bursts on your skin. Like I said, the first time had a lot of sting to it. The others weren’t so bad. It’s not as intense as laser hair removal (I’ve had that) but it’s tough because they do your whole face–or at least they did on me. The skin closest to the sides of the nose was the worst. I needed an ice pack after the first time (so would not do it before work). Also, it can make some of the dark spots darken before they flake off or you can get small bruising (only had that happen once, and fortunately it went away in a couple of days). I made sure not to do it before anything involving a lot of face time at work–I was kind of paranoid that if anyone would have a bad reaction, then it would be me. But the results afterward were well worth it. Far better than I got with Retin A in the past. I had been on Retin A at various points since high school and always found it really irritating no matter how low the dose. My skin hasn’t looked this good since pre-acne days and I’m 37. I wish I had known about it much sooner. I know –probably hard to get that from what I’m saying because I’m sounding pretty scary, but I just want to be totally up front on the negatives.

      3. It was very easy to get a prescription from my derm. I had developed a lot of milia (white bumps) on my cheeks, probably from too thick a sunscreen after being treated for melanoma. I used refissa which I believe is a name brand retinoid

        However, like others I never got through the peely red phase, even after trying it for several months only every other night. I also though I was more sensitive to the sun, which is 100% not what I wanted after having melanoma.

        I decided the peeling looked worse than the milia, and if the milia was the only long term effect of my skin cancer, I could live with that

      4. Wow, all, thanks for the responses! I do have fairly sensitive skin and I live in California…so I’d prefer not to be extra sensitive to the sun. Maybe I’ll hold off for now and schedule a derm appointment for fall. Thanks!

      5. I can’t recommend Finacea gel enough! It’s meant for rosacea, but I find that it’s effective on both blackheads and whiteheads. You can also wear it in sunlight, unlike Retin-A. It hasn’t caused me to peel, but it is a bit drying and may itch for a few weeks until your skin gets used to it. But itching is better than peeling, right?

        I find it more helpful than straight up salicylic acid. I used Paula’s Choice 2% BHA liquid and waited forever for purging that never happened. If anything, I felt greasier. Finacea starts purging my skin in a few days. It does suck, but once the gunk is gone my skin is so smooth. I find that it exfoliates to a certain extent and fades acne marks really fast.

  13. Random threadjack –

    This is very, very trivial compared to the problems I could have, but I needed to tell someone. My parents just told me that they have to put our family cat to sleep. Obviously, I’m out on my own now, but we got this cat 17 years ago when my brother and I were just kids. She is going to be put to sleep tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. and I find myself getting teary when I think about this being her last day.

    I really loved her and I will miss her. I’ll probably never have another cat because my husband is allergic. : (

    2. I’m so, so sorry to hear. I know that can be so painful to go through. Sending kind thoughts your way.

      1. I am right there with you — hubby and I had to put our very sweet cat to sleep, rather suddenly, a couple of weeks ago. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

        Also, I just want to say that I don’t think your loss (or mine) is trivial. Pet owners have a real bond with their animals, and the loss of a pet will often be gut-wrenching. It is perfectly okay to feel terribly sad and not deny that you are experiencing grief.

        1. I agree, and really feel for you. I had to have my own cat put to sleep (very suddenly) at Christmas and even when I got home last night I half expected her to be at the door meowing at me.

          If you aren’t in the same city as your parents, at least call your parents tonight and get them to put your cat on the phone so she can hear your voice and you can say goodbye to her and tell her about all the wonderful things waiting for her in cat heaven.

    4. There may be hope for your husband. My father was a no cat man w/ severe allergies. Then one day he developed bad allergies to unavoidable things like grass and trees. Now he has to take rx allergy medicine daily and can be around cats no problem! You probably won’t convince hubby to take drugs so you can have a cat but his allergies evolve he might end up on them anyway.

      Also, I’m very sorry for your loss. When my childhood dog was put to sleep I couldn’t get out of work that day (already covering for a coworker whose father was rushed to the hospital) and ended up bursting into tears in front of a group of people.

    5. I’m so sorry. I don’t think is trivial at all. We have two dogs (7 and 8 years old) and they’ve recently “lost a step” in their pep. I get teary-eyed just thinking about the inevitable with them. It’s a terrible feeling, I’m so sorry for you.

    6. Not trivial at all. Losing a pet is so difficult. I’m so sorry about your sweet cat.

    7. Hugs! I know this is hard – I’m teary-eyed just thinking about it. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    8. Hugs to you. And don’t feel silly- my family got a dog when I was about 13 who died when I was a mid-20s, full time career, married woman with a house, and I still felt really sad about it. It’s normal.

    9. Oh no! I’m so sorry about that. And I agree that it is not at all trivial – you’re about to lose a loved one, and it doesn’t matter if they walk using 2 legs or 4. I’m starting to cry thinking of my pets that have gone to the great doggy-and-kitty-beyond! For me, it’s comforting to think of all the love we gave each other, knowing that they had a pretty good life in our family. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    10. I’m so sorry. Poor you. Poor cat.
      We lost a dog suddenly and it was awful.
      What you’re feeling is perfectly reasonable and not at all trivial so don’t feel bad (if you need to talk about it etc. etc).

    11. I don’t think it’s trivial. I think you have the right to be sad about this and to feel a loss. Give yourself permission to grieve. If anything, I think it’s much harder with animals because they both do and don’t understand. Hugs to you.

    12. So sorry, my sympathies. I had to put down my 17 year old cat (also from my childhood) a few years ago and I was devastated. I cried at work (only my secretary saw me). It’s very sad, allow yourself to grieve. It’s still sad to think about her but I try to remember her happy times.

    13. Oh honey I’m so sorry. Big hugs.

      My mom told me by email when they put their dog to sleep a few years ago. Of course, I *had* to pick up my iphone and check email in the middle of a conference because I am an addict. Holding back those tears is not easy.

    14. I’m so sorry. We had to put our dog down recently and it was so hard. Even my husband, who for whatever reason rarely cries, cried as he took the dog to the vet :(

    15. Just writing to say I’m sorry. We lost the family cat a while ago and it was so tough to lose such a loving guy. Give yourself permission to be upset. Remember that you gave her a long and happy life and she’ll be pain-free and surrounded by loved ones tomorrow. The week after, when I found myself getting teary eyed, I took some time and wrote down random memories of our cat – his little quirks and habits, first getting him, etc. It helped a bit.

  15. I’m probably just being a spaz, but the fact that this has been the only post of the day makes me wonder if Kat is in labor!

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