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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 212 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Short Sleeve Pique Modal Wrap Dress With Woven Skirt

The Personal Shopper (TPS) | ·

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Short Sleeve Pique Modal Wrap Dress With Woven Skirt Lacoste has some great sales going on right now, including a number of very chic dresses. Me, I like this wrap dress, which for some reason strikes me as having a French vibe. The colorblocked version (pictured) is primarily a spring/summer/fall dress, I think, but the all-black version I could see worn with a long-sleeved, tissue-thin turtleneck beneath it and dark tights. It was $155, but is now $77 at Lacoste. Short Sleeve Pique Modal Wrap Dress With Woven Skirt Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

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Comments

  1. anon

    Not a fan of this, but the drop-waist style – is that what it’s called? – looks as though it would be quite forgiving if you have a not-small midsection. Particularly in the black version.

    Also, why does the model have to pose like that?

    • anon

      Chemise. (Or at least that’s what it used to be called in the olden days when I was young.)

    • Eleanor

      I don’t know; I think it would only work if you were pretty straight-up-and-down. If you have any sort of waist (which it’s still possible to have with a not-small midsection), the benefit of that would be lost with this dress. Also, I think drapey items like this usually only seem to look ok (still not great) on skinny, very young people.

    • Bonnie

      I think this dress would actually add focus on the midsection because it tries to hard to cover it; kind of like overly big clothing makes you look bigger not smaller.

  2. Godzilla

    Whoa, that is some pink dress right there. But the black version is very sedate.

    Hel-lo: congrats on your whole bf situation! It’s nice when people share the good things about their relationships, too =).

  3. Wednesday

    Ladies, what do you recommend as a (holiday) gift for a supervisor in his early 60s who has gone over and beyond to write letters of recommendation for graduate school for you? Or should I wait till I get accepted before giving a gift?

    • anon

      A bottle of good wine would be appropriate IMO. I would send the gift now. He did the work already (plus, it’s the holidays). Don’t make your thanks contingent upon acceptance.

      When you get in, you can send him a note sharing the good news and saying, thanks again.

      If he doesn’t drink, I would lean toward chocolate, a dinner certificate, or maybe something for his family to share if you know them/if he has one.

    • Research, Not Law

      I like the suggestions above.

      If you want to find out what restaurant to which he’d like a gift certificate, tell him you and your partner are going out and want to try some place new, then ask him where he likes to go.

  4. AIMS

    I don’t know how I feel about this dress. It seems a bit casual. I might be a bit biased though because it would almost certainly be about as flattering as a potato sack on me (5’3, hourglass figure. Taller ladies could probably pull it off much better.

    Shopping PSA — 6pm dot com has a crapton of “casuals” on sale, inc. many designer items at 80-90% off today. Obviously, sizes are random, but there are a lot of great finds there. In particular, lots of evening shoes from Pour La Victoire (big fan) and Kate Spade, and a LOT of bathing suits. If you have some time to waste this am, I recommend a browse.

    • Selia

      Ha! – posted essentially the same comment below at the same time re: potato sack! Although, I am 5’7, fairly slender and flat-chested, and I think it would look terrible on me!

  6. IV

    You guys (!):

    I wanted to share the most comfortable and professional and elegant shoes I am wearing for the first time today:

    Ivanka Trump “Annulio” flats. (Ivanka Trump, he he, but the shoes are so well-made, comfortable, and look authoritative, indeed.) So, just sharing for all those who want to look sharp but do not want to wear heels for any reaosn. :)

    • Kelly

      hmm, more than I usually spend on shoes, but they come in wide and I have such a difficult time finding substantial dressy flats that fit my bunions. I hate flimsy flats. I used to like a lot of aerosoles shoes, but the ones I’ve seen lately are either too casual or too grandma.

    • BMBG

      I have them as well, both in pewter snakeskin and black patent. Love them. The snakeskin finish is wearing faster than I’d like, but them’s the breaks. Still love them! And yes, I, too, winced at the Ivanka name.

    • rb

      When she launched her line at the Bloomingdales in NYC, she was there to promote it. She is as stunning in person as she looks in the mags! The only thing that was a downer about that shopping trip was that if you asked for a pair of shoes, the salesperson was required to bring you a pair of her shoes as well (even if you did not ask for a pair). Kind of left a bad taste in my mouth, but I’m guessing that was part of the deal w/ her showing up!

      • IV

        A little late in response, sorry about that.

        I find them very comfortable, including the necessary arch support. However, as I see that someone else has said that’s notnecessarily true, it could vary, I guess. (I could use my size 6.5 feet as tiny hammers in case of emergency, I think. He he.)

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      I have a pair of Ivanka Trump black heels which I absolutely love love love! Although this reminds me I really must get the tips of the heels redone as they’ve worn down…

    • AD

      Yeah, I was embarrassed that I bought the Magnoli leopard flats – my husband gave me no small amount of grief over that! But they are both cute and comfortable, and I actually liked them better than some much more expensive versions I tried.

      Professional, not so much though….

    • ML

      I have these in black patent and i’m wearing them right now! I first tried them on a year ago and decided against because I thought they were too pricey for what they are, and also, kind of because of the name! I thought about them for months and finally went back to get them. I’m so glad I did, I absolutely love them- I wear them at least a couple times a week. I am thinking about trying some of her other shoes.

      • darby

        really, they’re comfortable?? love the look, but am concerned about the pointy toe — does that bother y’all in flats?

        • IV

          I’ve found them all right re: the toe area. They’re also leather, so they stretch a little for a nice fit.

          Okay, I think that *I* now may buy another pair in a color other than black!

  8. Diana Barry

    Odd. I like it, but (1) it is hard to know how it would look if you weren’t standing weirdly like the model is, and (2) those knit/woven combos never seem to wash/wear well. Agreed that it looks more casual than work (it is too short for work in any event).

  9. ss

    Would be a little worried that the neckline plus extra fabric on top might need constant fiddling to hang right every time you shift in your seat.

    Threadjack … It occurred to me that I might get a good answer for this after the community’s response to yesterday’s cropped pants : I have a terrific outfit which I’ve been saving for the holiday season, only now I can’t figure out the shoes which work with cropped pants in cold weather. It’s a tailored dull-gold shell with cropped trousers and a velvet blazer, all 3 pieces are different textures but trousers and blazer are the same midnight blue colour, and it looks equally very snappy with blazer on and off. I’d been wearing similar outfits with flats or jewelled sandals during festivities in summer and looking forward to wearing this winter version, only now I can’t figure out the shoes to work in the cold ! Ballet flats with tights ? Loafers with socks ? Heels seem wrong and looked odd on yesterday’s model too.

    • Kelly

      I wouldn’t wear any tights or socks (even nearly invisible nude ones) with ankle/cropped pants. You can wear the hidden ped type socks if that will help. What is your commute like? I would just wear uggs or some other warm commuting shoes and put flats on in the office. Does your job involve going outside at all, or are you in the office all day? If you drive to work and have a short walk from parking can you suck it up in flats?

    • eaopm3

      I wouldn’t wear tights or socks. I would wear heels, booties, or a cute pair of flats. Personally, I prefer heels with cropped dressy pants, but I know others think that looks strange.

    • Anonymous

      Flats without socks or maybe with patterned tights/trouser socks? I mean the fishnet type, though not necessarily a traditional fishnet.

    • Tina

      I’d say that heeled booties look great with cropped pants and you could wear cotton socks in the colour family of either the booties or the pants. No socks with pumps, though.

  11. Nevadan

    I think this is just hideous – can’t think of any justification for clothing looking like this.

  12. Always a NYer

    In the Suit of the Week post yesterday, someone mentioned a thread on women traveling solo and I thought I’d share my experience.

    Last summer, as a college graduation present from my mom and grandma, I traveled on my own to visit relatives in England and Ireland. While I was with family most of the time, I navigated the airports by myself as well as exploring Belfast on my own.

    As someone that’s traveled often, I was comfortable finding the correct terminals in JFK and Heathrow airports. I flew on Delta before and was happy with them. What was different was using RyanAir from Stansted (London) to Shannon in Ireland. I’m used to waiting in the airport and then crossing the jetway to the plane, not with RyanAir. After waiting in line (I paid extra to be in the line that boards first), I discovered that there was no jetway. We walked outside to climb up the metal stairs, in the rain, to board. Not the most pleasant experience but it was cheap and the flight was 90 minutes so it was fine.

    My cousin drove up to Belfast with me and after checking into our separate rooms, he met up with a friend of his and I spent the day exploring. My undergrad thesis was on the Belfast Agreement and its aftermath so to be in the city itself was an experience beyond words. Being by myself and able to go at my own pace felt incredibly liberating. I walked around the Queen’s University campus, found Starbucks, and did some shopping.

    Overall, I can’t wait to travel on my own again. Most of my trip was spent with family but the times I was alone really taught me that I can get by on my own, something I needed reassurance of. While it’s nice to have others with you, sometimes you don’t want to compromise on the itinerary and just need your own company. I also learned, after getting singled out at each security checkpoint to have my bag searched, that if you don’t get flustered (or cry) and are polite, it goes by much smoother and the security staff will be nice to you.

    For those wanting to travel solo but still on the fence about it, go somewhere you know the language and know someone but still have the freedom to be on your own for an extended period. After crossing an ocean on your own, going to a movie or dinner solo doesn’t seem so daunting (both things I love doing, and did before my solo trip).

    Who else on gone on vacation by themselves? What advice do you have and what spots would you recommend? Looking forward to the comments =D

    • a.

      I’ve never done a full-on solo vacation, but I’ve had a couple of days to kill by myself, the last two big trips I’ve done to Europe. It’s not really my favorite, but it is nice to be able to set your own itinerary.

      Things that have worked well for me:
      +Going to museums (you wouldn’t be talking to people anyway)
      +Staying in hostels (you get to meet people! and for those who are phobic about going solo to a sit-down restaurant, like me, you can cook in the kitchen)
      +Reading and/or writing in parks (personal favorites: Jardim da Estrela in Lisbon, Retiro in Madrid, Borghese Gardens in Rome)
      +Paying for a 4E cup of coffee in order to establish residency at a table in Madrid’s Plaza Mayor, and people-watching
      +Long, meandering walks

      • Equity's Darling

        Yes, I loved the Borghese Gardens alone. The most perfect afternoon in Rome.

    • a nonny miss

      I lived alone in both Belgium and France for a period of about three years during college. While I was abroad, I traveled alone extensively through Western and Eastern Europe, and a bit through Northern Africa.

      I had the time of my life (minus one time where a man tried to buy me in exchange for a cow and goats, but even that was interesting). I met some of my very best friends while I was traveling and now, I’m closer to them still than the people I consider friends in the States.

      When you travel solo, you really learn how to be independent. I was an only child who grew up in the sticks, so being alone never bothered me but sometimes it does get a little lonely. You learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, and the travel partner you might want to have some day.

      I would take traveling alone over traveling in a group any day, so if you have the opportunity, I urge you to take it.

      • anon

        I’ve been flying alone since I was a young teen, and being single most my adulthood done plenty of traveling on my own. I’m in my late 20s and took my first trip with a boyfriend this year and it was a billion times better than traveling by myself. We have similar interests and yes there was some compromising on schedule, eating etc but I didn’t mind that. I don’t hate doing things on my own, but since I had to for so long it was so nice to have a companion to experience new things with, dine out with and sleep with on a vacation.

    • Anonforthis

      I traveled alone to Iceland for a week when I was in my 20s. It was a fantastic experience – most Icelanders speak good English, so communication wasn’t a problem at all. Getting off the plane and realizing I was on my own gave me a brief moment of, “Whoa! What did I just get myself into?” but I just got busy trying to find myself a bus to my hotel, and that was that. It felt good to be so self-reliant, and I loved being able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

    • Westraye

      I LOVE traveling alone (though marriage + lack of time has kind of put a stop to that). It taught me how capable I was, how to strike up random conversations with strangers, how to stay safe in dodgy situations, and I met some incredible people.

      I second the recommendation to do your first trip in a “safe” and easy place to travel like Western Europe. I also note that it’s only really a good idea if you enjoy being alone (for example, do you crave “you” time in your daily life?). Half of the time, I’d end up traveling with other solo travelers I met, but some of my favorite memories are from when I was completely alone with my thoughts. I also found it a lot more difficult than traveling with someone else – it’s amazing how much easier your life is if one person can watch the bags while the other checks out nearby accomodation/braves the crowd to buy train tickets etc. This of course assumes you don’t make reservations ahead of time, which used to be my m.o.

      For those about to do it for the first time, the best advice I could give would be to (a) go to a place that is easy to travel in; and (b) schedule a social stop halfway (even just a scheduled skype date) so that you can confide/share your experiences. It’ll help with any first time travel panic :)

    • Anonymous

      I used to go camping solo every year. I loved it because I got to choose what trails to hike and on what timeframe. There was no one complaining that I was eating smores for breakfast or whether I remembered to bring a particular item. I would camp the weekend after Labor Day, so the tourists were gone and kids were back to school. I told my mom where I was and checked in with her each day during a set time. That came to a sudden stop the year I got a severe migraine that required me to drive myself to the ER – only a 10 minute drive (by the time I arrived at the ER I was crying from the pain and could not talk-I just handed my wallet to the receptionist for her to find my medical card). With 3 days left of my trip and doctor’s instructions to not hike solo, that trip ended quickly. It was nice while it lasted….

    • MJ

      This is going to come off as snarky, and I know it, but I am trying not to. Are we in 1950 where women need chaperones? I am SHOCKED that people find being alone in a foreign country or traveling alone to be so crazy! Maybe my parents just raised me to be really independent (starting when they loaded me in the car and said, “Good luck at college!”) and watched me drive away. But I’ve driven cross country, traveled to dozens of countries alone (usually arriving a few days before or staying after meeting up with friends).

      If any ‘Rettes are on the fence about traveling alone, do it–just pick countries where it’s safer. I would be more concerned, say, in the Middle East, where views on women in public are a bit less progressive. But in Europe–please–it’s no more difficult than a trip to your local Target. Seriously. The only downer that is a real bummer is not having someone to watch you things when you run to the bathroom. Otherwise–fabulous. No quibbling over what to do when or where to go. You are your own pilot. It’s awesome. And it always gives me some good “me” time to really evaluate my life. Cannot recommend highly enough, whether you are single or coupled up.

      • politico

        Agreeing 1000 percent with this. I’ve done a half dozen major trips solo – many abroad. It’s empowering and freeing. No one else’s schedule, wander at your leisure, time to think… I pack a stack of books, a journal, a local language phrasebook and my camera and just enjoy exploring a new place. I’ve had some of my best times and biggest life breakthroughs traveling alone. Frankly, it’s hard for me to understand what the big deal is at this point – a lot of the time I kind of prefer it.

        The only challenge I’ve found is that you end up doing all of the “work” of travel yourself – navigating directions, finding transportation, etc. There’s no one else to “just figure it out” when you don’t feel like it. So I just make sure to do as much pre-trip research as possible so that I don’t have to think too much when I get there.

    • soulfusion

      I’ve traveled solo a number of times and while it isn’t necessarily my first choice, I really enjoy it. I’ve found there are some things I like to sign up to do in a group (adventure activities like whitewater rafting) and others I am perfectly content to tackle on my own (museums, city walking tours, architecture). I don’t really have a problem eating alone in restaurants as I will usually people watch or read or journal. I have also found I meet more people when I travel solo – for better or worse. It helps to have an out or white lie ready if you get too much unwanted attention. When I was in Italy (actually with my sister) a man kept following us around and speaking to us in German (for some reason he thought we were German) and when he switched to English he asked if we were traveling on our own. We told him no, we were visiting our brother and kind of looked around as if we were waiting for him and the guy went away. Our brother did live in Italy at the time but was hours away in a different city on the opposite coastline. I think traveling solo you just have to be confident and a little bit bold at times in terms of both meeting new people and avoiding the annoying ones.

      I’m about to embark on a long-planned vacation with two friends and there are many things I’ve had to compromise about the way I normally travel for their benefit (and vise versa) and I am actually hoping I’ll have some alone time in our 17-day adventure so I don’t kill one or both of them off :)

    • karenpadi

      I prefer to travel solo. I’ve traveled solo through Italy and the Caribbean.

      My tips:
      1. have a book, journal, or a sketch pad on you. If you don’t want to be disturbed, most people (excluding Italian men) will respect your personal space if you look “busy”.
      2. don’t go to a nightclub or bar late at night by yourself. I feel comfortable sitting in a bar until about 9 or 10pm.
      3. enjoy the company of strangers! Take up invitations to join people at lunch or dinner.
      4. plan an activity where you will meet and interact with people. I love scuba diving so I choose a resort that has small boats and friendly staff. I usually make friends with my dive buddies.
      5. be adventurous and open. I’ve met couples (more than once) who proposed a threesome. I didn’t take them up on it but it’s a funny story to take home. I met a merchant marine and had a wonderful evening with him. I had a drawing competition on a bridge in Florence with an Aussie.
      6. I personally like to go places with lots of Americans, Aussies, Kiwis, and Brits. Having a common language makes making friends a lot easier.

      • mc

        I’m craving a “real” trip now. My D.C. internship has nothing on these stories.

  13. Bee

    The low waist makes this look very young. It makes me think of teenagers whose clothes look like they might fall down.

  14. Anon

    This looks like something that would land a designer in the bottom 3 of Project Runway. Tim Gunn would have been very concerned.

  15. Clueless about cologne

    Help!! My husband asked for cologne/ after shave for christmas. he wants me to pickit out any suggestions? i’m clueless! Thanks!

    • SF Bay Associate

      Truefit and Hill or Taylor of Old Bond. Both very sophisticated and masculine without being ridiculous. They also make wonderful shaving cream.

    • Kelly

      I just smelled a sample of burberry sport yesterday and loved it. i think the descrip said it was woodsy and citrusy. i don’t know your husbands style though, if he wants you to pick it out i’m assuming he’s fairly laid back?

    • anon

      I think that means he wants you to pick something you love the scent of, so I’d go to the men’s section of a department store or something and start sniffing. If you love it, chances are you you’ll love it on him, and he’ll love that.

    • eaopm3

      I bought H Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male cologne for Christmas about three years ago and I still love the smell. I’m someone that is sentimental about scents, so I hope they never stop making it or he just won’t smell like “husband” to me anymore!

    • Married to a FragrancePhobe

      Tell him you need a date night and go shop together. I made the mistake of buying two different scents for my hubby. After he rejected both my selections, we went to Macy’s together and formed a conscentsus. Ok. That was cheezy, but what can I say? It’s been a long week.

    • Godzilla

      I love, love, LOVE Armani Mania. I should buy myself a bottle of it, it smells so good.

    • SC

      Last year I bought my husband one of Sephora’s sample cologne packs, which come with a gift certificate for your favorite one. He loved it because it gave us a chance to see how different colognes worked on him and how they smelled throughout the day. And, while he picked a favorite, he liked several and still has those samples for a change of pace.

  16. iPad Advice

    A couple people have posted recently about iPads, and I wanted to share our experience over the weekend in the hopes of saving someone the angst we experienced.

    It is possible to share an iTunes/App Store account with someone (in my case, my fiance), but to each have your own, independent iCloud account. This way, you can share your purchased content (apps, books, movies), but keep your private content (contacts, email, calendar) separate.

    There is no helpful documentation about this on the apple website, and calling apple’s 800 number is something I would wish only on my worst enemy (ask me how I know).

    The trick is to use one email address and password (that you both know) as the apple ID for your iTunes account and one email address and password (that only you know and, for your partner that only your partner knows) for your iCloud account. If you already have an apple ID because, for example, you’ve had an iPhone already, then you will use that apple ID as your iTunes apple ID. (I just changed the password to something I didn’t mind my fiance knowing.) Use this when you download iTunes onto your computer and set up your iTunes account.

    When you set up your iPad, one screen on the iPad will say “your apple ID is what you will use for iTunes, buying apps in the Apps store, and your iCloud account — please log in now” and will give you the option to “use an existing apple ID” or “create a new apple ID.” Even though it is not clear, this is asking for the apple ID you will use for your iCloud account, NOT iTunes. So hit “create a new apple ID.” It will say that it already exists (even if it doesn’t) and will go through a “change your password” protocol. Just do it. Then you will have your own iCloud account that will sync your private content. If your partner does the same, ditto for him/her.

    When you want to purchase something in the App Store, scroll all the way to the bottom of the screen and look at the left hand side. If you are not logged in with your joint iTunes apple ID, use the button to log out of your private iCloud account and in with your joint iTunes account. Then your purchase will be shared.

    Other major tip: set up your gmail account as an “exchange” account instead of as a “google” account. Then all your google calendars (if you use more than one), will sync wirelessly. Just go to m.google.com and it will walk you through selecting which calendars to display on your iPad. You can’t use this feature unless you set up your gmail account as an “exchange” account.

    If this saves even one person the numerous hours of angst I experienced this weekend, I will be happy.

    • Mella

      Thank you! I don’t have an iPad but always like hearing others’ experiences. Setting up an iCloud is on my “to do…. eventually” list.

    • s

      Thanks for this–I’m going to try it. My parents are on my plan and don’t want to update their phones themselves, so I’ve been trying to figure out how to work around the problem of shared/separate accounts.

  18. Secretary question

    What is the etiquette of giving a holiday gift to a secretary who started working for me today? I work with a secretarial pool of 3 secretaries, including this new person. It feels odd giving her a generous gift given that she started, but I also feel bad not giving her anything. Any ideas? I’m giving cash to the two other secretaries.

    • Anonymous

      Give them all the same amount, trust me. They will talk and it will look bad if you don’t. I always think it’s better to err on the side of generous than come off looking cheap, or inconsiderate.

    • BMBG

      I had four secretaries over the course of the last year, all of whom still work here (reshuffling, sigh). They were each my secretary for only a few weeks/months, so I’m taking what I would usually give to one secretary and dividing up on gift cards for each of them. I think it’s perfectly fine to give the newbie a token cash gift or giftcard, but I also think you have to know your workplace.

    • TCFKAG

      Last year I had just started with a secretary at the holidays and I knew she drank dunkin every morning, so I got her a gift card to dunkin donuts in a modest amount ($20 I think) and a pound of coffee. It went over well.

    • CW

      I had two assistants in the past year (for roughly the same amount of time). I’m taking what I would normally give one assistant and dividing it between the two.

  19. CP in seattle

    I had to share….our office is hiring for a paralegal. An interviewee showed up in a purple pants suit! Awesome?!

    • Always a NYer

      I interviewed for an intern position wearing an aubergine pantsuit, and got it =)

      • Kelly

        haha aubergine is a lot different than purple! especially if it flatters your coloring, it’s pretty much a neutral. i’d love to find a good aubergine suit actually!

    • CP in seattle

      She is in the running for the job! I’d love to see thr rest of her wardrobe! And it was def a super purple color!

    • AIMS

      I saw an attorney in the lobby of my office today wearing a purple pantsuit with large red windowpane pattern! If you weren’t in Seattle, I’d be wondering about whether this woman is jumping ship to be a paralegal..

    • MelD

      One of my friends got a job after wearing what she described as a “Barney purple” pantsuit to an interview. She forgot her neutral colored suit was at the cleaners and had to go with the purple. It broke the ice for her at her interview as they both joked about the color of the suit during the process.

  20. Hmmm

    Threadjack:

    My boss of 5 years is a very sweet but particular man and the hardest person to buy a gift for but unfortunately, due to my office culture, I feel obligated to do so. He doesn’t drink very often so alcohol is out. He tries really hard to stay away from sweets so super fancy sweets/food are out. He reads like a maniac but has a huge list of “to reads” waiting on his Kindle so books are out. I try to stay away from super personal gifts like clothing and accessories. His secretary of countless years has a hard time and he usually ends up giving her gifts away (of course she has no idea). We are a small office so pooling isn’t an option. The problem is, he is very high maintenance but at the same time, very minimalistic.

    He’s completely obsessed with an abandoned traveling mug from our office kitchen that looks like a paper coffee cup from a coffee shop (he’s shown it off to me several times) and finds the most joy going to Starbucks every day. I’m thinking about finding him a nicer version of his “stolen” cup and a hefty gift certificate to Starbucks. However, I find that coffee is often the gift for office staff or those you don’t know well… I’m stumped…

    I try to stick around $50. Any ideas?

    • a.

      I think the coffee cup and Starbucks gift certificate sound perfect. The cup is thoughtful, because you paid attention to something he likes, and you know he’d use (and appreciate!) the gift certificate. I think you might be over-thinking this :)

    • anon

      I like your starbucks idea, otherwise I’d help him along on the kindle habit and give him a $50 gift certificate for the Kindle (basically like an iTunes card). You know he’ll use it.

      and i don’t think these gifts are impersonal/only for those you don’t know well b/c in your case, you know him well enough to recognize that he likes starbucks and kindles :)

    • TCFKAG

      Starbucks sells those “coffee cup” travelmugs (though I’m sure there are some nicer ones out there). I really think, while coffee is sort of a cop out, it is also something people will definitely use and enjoy.

      Another option would be something for his office, like a paperweight or a fancy pen.

      He does sound like something of a nightmare to shop for. My father is the same way, perfect combination of has everything he wants and extremely frugal (using an abandoned coffee mug is totally something my father would do). This is why I buy my father a book or a compilation cd every year — except for the years I get him a joint present thats for both my mother and him and then, frankly, they are really for my mother. :-)

      Oh well, sometimes creativity has to take a backseat to reality, and it sounds like coffee is the way to go!

      • Bunkster

        That’s my dad, too. Complete cheapskate and has nothing on his list, except windsurf gear, which is out of my price range.

        Also, his birthday is next month so I have to come up with 2 gifts in the same period. I’m giving him a wine aerator to use with his box wine. He’s fascinated by my brother’s and wants to know if it will improve his cheap wine. For his birthday, I’ll probably get him a restaurant gift card. My parents love gift cards because they never spend money on themselves.

        • Bunkster

          Honestly, he’d prefer that I just put the money in the bank or spend $10 max so I often get him a $20 iTunes gc and leave it at that.

        • Hmmm

          LOL!!! My MIL loves red wine with ice cubes and seven-up. Last year for mother’s day we got her a very expensive blush wine hoping it would be deliciuos enough to drink on it’s own. Nope. Out came the ice tray and out came the seven-up. She did say it was the best she’d ever had and has requested the same wine for the next mother’s day. To each his own I suppose.

    • eh230

      Check out uncommon goods dot com. They have the very coffee mug that you are talking about as well as a lot of cool other coffee type accessories. I buy at least one xmas gift from there each year for a hard to buy for person.

    • SF Bay Associate

      First thing that came to my mind as I was reading your post, before I got to the coffee cup part, is awesome meat/charcuterie, with some nice crackers and a nice mustard or something. Williams Sonoma’s catalog/site has that kind of stuff in gift packaging. For people who have never had quality charcuterie but like meat, it’s a revelation.

      In the coffee vein, find that mug in a store (how??), and then introduce him to the really nice Starbucks coffees that they make with the Clover press. If he’s actually into coffee, then he might want a french press and grinder in his office so he can avoid the crap that most office kitchens have. So for the coffee gift, it’s weird mug, single-serve french press, cheap but fine coffee grinder, and a 1/4 lb of one of the nice coffees or two, or weird mug + gift card + brochure with info about their clover-press coffees + 1/4 lb of your “favorite” of the clover press. I think that would be pretty thoughtful.

      • Niktaw

        People who have never had quality charcuterie should be introduced to it in a specialized restaurant where it’s served fresh. Not to bash catalog retailers ….

    • Always a NYer

      As a lover of Starbucks lattes, I always smile when someone gives me a giftcard. Yes, coffee is usually the go-to for a person you don’t know well but I don’t think that applies to this instance. You know your boss loves Starbucks and are getting him a gift to his favorite place. Starbucks makes travel mugs like the one you mentioned and that would be a perfect gift for him, with a giftcard inside of course!

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I’ll be interested in your responses. I have a similar small office culture where people get the assistants gifts but not cash. My criteria are similar to yours as I have three assistants to buy for. My personal assistant is very difficult as she isn’t into spa stuff, doesn’t eat out because of an anaphalactic allergy, seems to already have most of what she wants. I’ll be looking for something unique but nice that says I appreciate her hard work. To top it off, when boss and I were brainstorming I had lots of great ideas that all had to do w/ things one would use in the office and he said he prefers to get gifts for them to use in their personal time. Wracking my brain here . . . I’m thinking maybe those nice microwave heating pads/wraps/slippers type of thing. One gift should also be nicer than the other two since that assistant is “my” assistant.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        Oh and I already bought them candles this year for covering my cases (to the extent a non-lawyer can) while I was on vacation.

      • Kelly

        I she into unique jewelry? quality teas? a nice cozy blanket or throw? does she have any outdoor hobbies that would make an REI or llbean gift card?

      • Anonymous

        I’ve got to think of small gifts, too. In my office, people give small gifts to the others they are close to. I’m talking $10 range. It’s sweet, but everyone’s different (tea drinker; organic food consumer; jewelry maker)…

      • Hmmm

        Okay, assistants I can help you with…

        Nice scarf from a nice store where they can exchange it if needed. This has gone over VERY well in the past for both of them. I got the kind of scarf that is functional but that are really nice (or in my “funky” assistant’s case, extremely bright and unique) and you can throw on with a cute T or a nice sweater.

        Nice bottle of wine. I really suggest doing some recon to find out what type they like the best. If you are on a budget, do some research and find a great low-priced wine that is tasty.

        Work-out accessories (warning: this only works if you know them well and they are a work-out nut.)

        Nice throw if you know their home colors

        Designer checkbook holder

        Gift card to a restaurant by their house

        Unique tea sampler set and a really pretty mug (if they like tea)

        Specialty cookbook (only if they really enjoy cooking. one of my asssitants LOVES baking pies so I got her a cookbook for baking all sorts of dinner and desert pies)

        I also try to bake my assistants something special (small loaf of tasty bread, their favorite cookie, etc) and give it to them with their bday gift. I don’t know why but they both adore it and it doesn’t take me long to do which is a plus.

    • Gifts for the Boss

      My current office is the first with a custom of giving gifts to one’s boss. I usually make a donation to a charity in his/her name and present the acknowledgment certificate with a nice holiday card.

    • Hmmm

      Such great ideas and reassurances. Thank you so much! SFBA, I got him a gift very similar to what you described a few years ago for his birthday (yes, I have to go through this twice a year) and he loved it. However, he is now vegetarian for the sole purpose of making it harder to buy gifts for :) I think I’ll stick to the coffee cup and coffee and cross my fingers. You ladies have reassured me that in this case, it’s not particularly impersonal. Thanks again!!!!

  21. eh230

    I need help styling dresses for the office holiday party. The party is being held in a fancy hotel ballroom, and as I mentioned last week, the dresscode is “holiday dress or holiday casual.” As I have no clue what that means, I ordered four dresses from Nordstrom to try on. Hopefully I like one of them. The problem is figuring out what kinds of legwear and shoes work in the winter. The dresses are black, cobalt, purple and a sort of dark blue teal. My options for shoes are black suede booties, black leather wedges, black patent leather pumps, silver/gray patent pumps, a black/gray snakeskin type pump, black satin peep-toe, a patterned peep-toe with greens, blues, golds and tortious shell (they sound weird but are really pretty). Legwear is the obvious black tights, off-black hose, nude hose, etc. Help!

    • mamabear

      Bloomingdales this year showed all of their holiday dresses on their website with matte black legs – black tights and black shoes. I loved it. It was all, oh this old thing? Even with beaded, sequined, satin, you name it fancy schmancy dresses.

      Check it out. That’s how I’d go. Maybe your black suede booties with black opaque tights.

  22. Anne Shirley

    Kat- I just don’t get this at all. I’d wear this to brunch with flip-flops, for a museum visit with flats, and on a quick cvs run. Nothing about this seems office appropriate at all. I don’t know if your not working an office job any more is influencing your picks, but this just does not work.

  23. interviewsuit

    Threadjack: Ladies, I am so excited. After two months of slowness on the job front, I have an interview with the firm I’d like to work with on December 28th. I definitely need a new suit, and wear suits to work now so it will get use, but money times are tighter then normal this month. Can anyone recommend a quality suit (preferably top, pants, skirt set) in dark grey for under $250? I’m 5’4″, a size 14/16 hourglass, and my biggest issue with any clothing is that I have a very prominent derriere. Given that issue, if you know of the perfect suit that’s slightly over my price range, I’m interested. I’m not sure I’ll have time for tailoring before the interview.

    • Kelly

      I actually got a 3 piece at brooks brother outlet for $265 with the 15% lexis discount. I’m 5’3 and got petite jacket and pants, but regular skirt and didn’t need any tailoring. However, I don’t have a very prominent back end, and thought the pants accentuated it too much so I went up a size, so I don’t know how you’d like the pants. I think banana republic is better for curvy figures, so check their outlets too!

    • JJ

      Talbots is running a 40% off all merchandise (including sale) promo right now, with the code word SALE. I’ve gotten a few nice, wool suits from there – never full price, but for the sale prices, they’ve been great buys. I’d check out their website.

      • Anonymous

        I have a pear-shaped figure (with the weight carried in hips, derriere and thighs – always a size or two larger on bottom than top) and have had good luck with J. Crew. Getting a suit under $250 there would definitely be a challenge, but they are running holiday sales right now.

      • anon

        Just got it this week and it’s going back. The tweed is a bit too heavy for my climate (southeast) and there are little gathers at the top of the sleeves and at the back that after some deliberation I decided I did not like. (There are also gathers mid-back on the back and on the back of the skirt.) The jacket was also a bit too short on me. Overall, just didn’t find it that flattering.

        What I got and am going to keep are the medium gray bootcut pants (signature fit) and wool blend jacket (Kate fit). Jacket is longer (more flattering for me) and pants are just the right width. I’ll get the jacket taken in slightly at the hip, where it flares a little much for me. But very pleased for under $200 (with 40% off)

    • politico

      I have a similar body shape and really love the Calvin Klein separates that are sold at Macy’s and other department stores. Not sure if they currently come in dark grey, but should fit your budget.

  24. anon

    Hello ladies,
    Apologies for the threadjack. I’m in need of some advice. I recently bought two new Theory dresses–one black and one gray. I took them to the tailor in my building, and to make a long story short, the black one came back a size too small. (When I hold up the dresses next to each other, the black one is at least an inch narrower in the hips). The problem with my building’s tailor is–the person doing the measurements isn’t the actual tailor; my building outsources the tailoring work but the staff will do the measuring/pinning on site.

    I’m not sure what to do. I’m really upset about the situation, because this was a bit of a “reach” purchase for me. Is there anyway dresses can be made bigger? (I doubt it, but I had to ask). Alternatively, I could lose five pounds. I’m just really hesitant to throw a hissy fit and demand that they reimburse me for my dress–if $300 is painful for me, I can’t imagine how painful it is for the tailor/building staff.

    Any advice is appreciated!

    • Herbie

      This sucks!! I’d tell them they need to fix it… either by working tailor magic or buying you a new dress.

    • MelD

      It really depends on the seam allowance. The standard allowance is 5/8″ which means they may be able to take it out enough (with two seams) to make it wearable. If there are multiple seams, then it’s even more likely you can make it fit. Good luck!

    • AIMS

      That’s incredibly frustrating! I’m sorry. If they can’t make it fit, they may not be so keen on reimbursing you the $300 since they’re unlikely to have extra money on hand, but I would try asking for something equal in value, e.g., $300 worth of free dry cleaning services. Just something to keep in mind.

  25. May

    I just saw the most amazing pair of shoes on sale – leather, nice heel, cutesy design, with only one pair left in my size. They’re not cheap, but probably worth it.
    Here’s the catch – I’m tan, and the shoe is in pastel shades (pink / blue / green).
    Right now my work wardrobe does not really include much stuff that would go with this, although the few whites and creams and greys would look fabulous with this. I have a large collection of jewel coloured clothes which don’t stand a chance.
    On the other hand, its a beautiful shoe, and would certainly extend the repertoire of my shoe collection!
    Would you buy it, under these circumstances?

  26. anon for this one!

    Hi, Ladies. After the birth control discussion a few months ago, when people were talking about hormonal birth control side effects, I decided to get off of the pill for a while. I’ve been on it for 15 years or so. And, OH MY GOSH. Suddenly I have the libido of an 18-year-old boy. At first I thought it was just a rebounding of hormones or something, but it’s been 3 or 4 months now! And I’m not complaining, at all, not in the least, but I’m just wondering if this is some sort of withdrawal symptom that will go away, or if it’s just my natural state that’s been suppressed for years? I’ve poked around on the internet and really didn’t see anything that would suggest such a drawn-out withdrawal symptom. Anyone have a similar experience, or other insights?

    • anon for this one!

      And, important follow-up question: anyone find a reliable non-hormonal BC? I’ve been relying on condoms. I haven’t had children, so I am terrified of the Mirena. Sounds like it is super painful and doesn’t really work unless you’ve gone through childbirth.

      • anon

        DH & I use condoms. It’s not ideal, but I refuse to use hormonal BC again. DH says he’d MUCH prefer having s*x with a condom to the alternative (me, with zero libido).

        • Research, Not Law

          We use condoms as well.

          Some men are resistant, but here’s my two thoughts. In a partnership, it’s unreasonable to expect a women to shoulder the entire burden of birth control every minute of every day; a man only has to wear a condom during the act. Also, try out different brands, styles, and lubes. Your partner won’t mind ;) Skip the pharmacy and head to a sex shop for best variety. We prefer Kimono water-based lubricated or unlubricated with System JO water-based lube. Feels good for him; no nasty silicone lube for me.

          In terms of reliability: We’ve been using them for about five years, minus 18 months of two pregnancies. Both pregnancies were conceived intentionally with one try. Given our one-hit-wonder record, I feel confident recommending them to prevent unintended pregnancies. But, important here, we don’t fool around without one. If our parts are going to be touching skin to skin, we have a condom. I think that’s the key to success.

          We tried mixing in with the rhythm method, but neither of us were comfortable with it. It’s an option to consider, though.

      • Anony

        I use Mirena, haven’t had children. It hurt like hell going in, but I’m not sure the efficacy is at all limited by not having had children. And it hasn’t bothered me since insertion. The reason the company only recommends it for people who have had children is that if you get certain STIs while it is in, it can cause you to become infertile. But, as my doc said, I am a grown woman in a exclusive relationship and there were no other reasonable options (except condoms ) for me, so there ya go.

      • MelD

        Whether the Mirena will work you is a function of the size of your uterus. Many women without children do not have a large enough uterus to accommodate it, but this is something your gyn should be able to check for you.

      • Anonymous

        Mirena is NOT a non-hormonal contraceptive device. I had the Paragard inserted a few months ago. Insertion was painful; first period was the worst–felt like I was being stabbed all day every day; second and third periods have been much better, with just occasional stabbing pains (controllable with lots of advil and tylenol–it works better when I take both at the same time). In a steady, exclusive relationship and hormonal BC made me depressed and condom failure was too frequent (3x/year) for me to rely on condoms only.

        • Anonymous at 1:47 pm

          I started with the NuvaRing before the Paragard. NuvaRing popped out several times during intercourse, which was annoying. And kind of gross. Doc told me Nuva was already a low-dosage BC, and going slightly lower in dosage (and having to take a pill every day) might not stop the side effects.

      • Lyssa

        I’ve only used it a few times, but there are contraceptive “films” available that make a really great alternative to condoms (assuming that you’re not worried about STDs, of course). They’re somewhat expensive, and you do have to give them about 15 minutes to be ready, but they’re really easy, no mess, and they’re completely unnoticable. This was a few years ago, but what I used was called V.C.F. and came in a white box (at Wal-Mart or some similar drug store section). Much, much better than any other non-hormonal protection I’ve used.

      • Anon

        We use condoms during the week I’m ovulating, and the pull-out method for the rest of the month. Do you have a fairly regular cycle where you can estimate your ovulation? My OB-GYN told me the pull-out method is not very effective, but it’s worked for us for the past two years.

        Good for you for getting off the pill! My friends on the pill are always complaining that they don’t feel like having sex as much as their husbands, and I keep telling them to get off the pill! I’ve never been on hormonal BC, and I have the libido of an 18-year old boy, too.

      • zora

        I have the mirena, have not had children. It did not hurt anywhere near as much as I thought it would going in, I was all nervous and then I was like: ‘oh, that was it?’ And I haven’t had any pain or problems with it at all, I love it. I recommend asking your ob/gyn for a consult appointment just to talk about it. If you like your ob/gyn, that is. If you aren’t that happy with them, I’d shop around to find someone you really like, and then ask them to talk about it with you. My ob/gyn had already examined me, so she had some idea about the shape/size of my uterus and my cycles and reaction to bc pills, so she had very specific advice about how I would respond to the Mirena.

    • none, but -

      Not to be a creeper, but can you keep us posted on that fabulous side effect? I desperately want to stop using hormonal birth control for that specific reason.

      • anon for this one!

        I will. In all seriousness, I feel like I just woke up from a decades-long sleep. I would rather deal with the pain of Paragard or something similar than go back on the hormonal BC.

        • R

          How long did it take for your libido to kick in? I went off hormonal BC almost 4 weeks ago specifically for that reason and have not noticed any change. I have also been sick and stressed over work though so that is also dampening my drive.

          • anon for this one!

            Sorry, I really couldn’t tell you exactly how long. My long-term bf and I broke up at about the time of the posts on here about BC; which was mid-August, I think? I want to say that it wasn’t that long though. Maybe 3 or 4 weeks? Bad timing! lol.

      • N.

        Not to be a downer, but when I went off hormonal BC I didn’t notice any changes at all in my sex drive. If anything, it was somewhat lower for a while because I was stressed out about relying on condoms as my sole means of birth control.

    • Anon

      I had the same side effect, and it hasn’t gone away here either! I just assumed it’s how I originally should be, without any hindrances due to hormones!

      • Research, Not Law

        Ditto!

        LOL, although, like Diana points out below, pregnancy does a world of crazy to your libido. :p

    • nona

      I think that the BC pill is known to potentially suppress the libido, since s*x drive is driven by testosterone (yes, women it) and the pill can potentially overload the testosterone with estrogen/progesterone.

      • nona

        Which is to say, that going off the pill would remove a potential suppression, and you could end up with a livelier libido.

    • Now anon

      Wow, that is amazing! I am about to change BC from the Pill to NuvaRing and am wondering if there will be any differences there too. I know NuvaRing is also hormonal but apparently less so…..

      • R

        I was on NuvaRing for almost 2 years and feel like it seriously lowered my libido.

        • L

          I am considering going off the NR for that exact reason. I love it otherwise though.

      • eaopm3

        NR killed my s*x drive as badly as every other hormonal BC I’ve ever been on. I’ve tried pretty much everything and it doesn’t matter. I find myself willing to try almost any other method just to get it back.

    • Diana Barry

      Yes, my libido is much higher since going off the pill. (although pregnancy also messes with it in strange ways)

    • Also Anonymous

      Whoops! Re-posting in the actual thread. :)

      I went off BC about 9 months ago for exactly this reason- hoping it would bring back my libido. I’d been on it for about 10 years. Honestly, I haven’t really noticed a huge difference, maybe a slight one. I’m jealous that you’ve experienced such a shift, that’s fantastic!

      As to the person asking about other methods of birth control…we did condoms for a few months, but I really hate them, and I have the same fears of the IUD. (no kids). I got fitted for a diaphram. It’s been about 6 months and I feel like I’m still on the fence with it, but continuing to use it because I don’t know what other options I have. I don’t have a problem with taking it out, and I don’t have too much of a problem with having to stop and put it in (it somewhat kills spontenaity, but whatever), but I feel like I have big problem with correctly inserting it. When I got fitted, the doctor tried multiple sizes, went back and forth between the one I have and one size smaller, and finally settled on this size. So I’m not sure it would help to go back to the doctor- I think it’s a problem with my technique. I feel like I’ve tried everything- lying down, using the toilet to balance my foot, reading the diagram and trying to visualize, using lube, having my husband help me…it only seems to be correctly inserted about 25% of the time. The rest of the time I can feel it, and so can he. Ugh.

      Anyway, all this to say that I emphatically do not want to go back on hormonal birth control, but I’m also terrified of the IUD and greatly dislike condoms so…for now I guess I’ll stick with the diaphram. Wouldn’t you think, with all of the frickin nanotechnology and god knows what else we’ve invented, someone, somewhere, could come up with an easy, effective, painless, non-hormonal birth control? Maybe Apple needs to get on that…

      • Anonymous Three

        My boyfriend and I use condoms. Yes, in an ideal world he would prefer not to, but since we discovered Crown condoms (available on Amazon or your local sex store) its been better. Much nicer than your standard Trojans or whatever from the drugstore.

        I also use a diaphragm when menstruating, but wouldn’t rely on it during times of the month when I’m more likely to be ovulating, for the same misplacement fears Also Anonymous mentions. Even the “perfect use” scenarios the failure percentage is too high.

    • Enlightened anon

      Wow – thank you for posting this. I too have had similar, um, “symptoms” lately but hadn’t linked it to having recently gone off the pill. That explains so much! Corporette to the rescue, once again.

    • anon for this one!

      You ladies have made me a very very happy camper! Woo! As to the non-hormonal BC, thanks for the info re Mirena being hormonal – obviously I haven’t done my research yet – but the Paragard doesn’t sound so hot either. I am all for putting Apple on the case. iNopreggers, anyone?

      • zora

        the Mirena is hormonal, but it’s a much much lower dose, because it doesn’t have to go through your blood stream, so it doesn’t have the same effects. My libido has definitely been higher with the Mirena, and I’m on year 2.

        I wish everyone wasn’t terrified of an IUD! It’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I have never had kids, and have a very low threshold for pain and discomfort. Also, one doctor told me that in Canada and France (I think) they have approved several different sizes of IUDs, so if anyone is planning a trip ;o) , you might find an ob/gyn and see if an extra-small IUD would work for you. Hopefully the FDA will approve them here someday, sigh.

    • nev

      Hm. I’ve never been on hormonal BC for precisely these reasons, but I would like to add my voice to the “I love my IUD” chorus. I have the Paraguard, and got it when I was 21 and had never had sex much less children – it was briefly painful but I haven’t really thought about it in two years. Ah-mazing.

    • karenpadi

      I’ve been on the pill for close to a decade to treat a medical condition. I think it lowered my libido some but not anywhere close to zero. Honestly, I have a higher libido (even on the pill) than any of my boyfriends since so, for me, the lower libido is probably a benefit.

      Many of my friends had much lower libido on the pill but I’m just trying to say that the pill doesn’t lower libido to unsatisfactory levels for everyone.

      • KK

        I’m on low dose pill and have been for about a decade. My libido may not be at it’s highest potential, but it’s certainly not anywhere near zero. I think the higher the dose, the more likely it is to have that effect. Mine is a monophase with estradiol and progesterone. Maybe the exact BC cocktail makes a difference? But I would certainly be interested when iNopreggers comes out :-)

  27. Herbie

    Okay, ladies, I just have to report what Amazon is currently recommending to me purportedly based on my recent browsing history:

    * 10 kittens t-shirt! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000I7RMZG/ref=s9_bbs_gw_d34_g193_ir02?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-3&pf_rd_r=1TT5X0AGXE52X3EP38V3&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938811&pf_rd_i=507846

    * Unicorn t-shirt! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0037TPED4/ref=s9_bbs_gw_d34_g193_ir01?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-3&pf_rd_r=1TT5X0AGXE52X3EP38V3&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938811&pf_rd_i=507846

    I have absolutely no idea what I could have done to get these recommendations, but this pretty much made my day.

  28. magnola

    Quick etiquette question – just had a phone interview that went really well with the person who would be my boss. Can I add him/her on linkedin, or is that creepy stalkery? I sent a thank you note, but want to be super clear that I am REALLY INTERESTED I PROMISE.

    Thanks!

    • Herbie

      I wouldn’t do it… I might even find it a little off-putting if I were potential boss.

    • CSF

      Agree that you shouldn’t do it. Definitely a thank you note. If you haven’t already sent the thank you note, I’d mention in there that you’d love to come in person for any follow up interview.

  29. Herbie

    Apologies for when my currently stuck-in-moderation comment reposts. I just had to share Amazon’s current recommendations to me, purportedly based on my recent browsing history. I’ll post links in a follow-up comment, but Amazon thinks I would like:

    * Purple unicorn t-shirt!

    * 10 kittens t-shirt (also purple)!

    * Two wolves in front of a moon t-shirt (…also…purple…)!

    No idea what I did to deserve this, but the hilarity made my day.

  30. Also Anonymous

    I went off BC about 9 months ago for exactly this reason- hoping it would bring back my libido. I’d been on it for about 10 years. Honestly, I haven’t really noticed a huge difference, maybe a slight one. I’m jealous that you’ve experienced such a shift, that’s fantastic!

    As to the person asking about other methods of birth control…we did condoms for a few months, but I really hate them, and I have the same fears of the IUD. (no kids). I got fitted for a diaphram. It’s been about 6 months and I feel like I’m still on the fence with it, but continuing to use it because I don’t know what other options I have. I don’t have a problem with taking it out, and I don’t have too much of a problem with having to stop and put it in (it somewhat kills spontenaity, but whatever), but I feel like I have big problem with correctly inserting it. When I got fitted, the doctor tried multiple sizes, went back and forth between the one I have and one size smaller, and finally settled on this size. So I’m not sure it would help to go back to the doctor- I think it’s a problem with my technique. I feel like I’ve tried everything- lying down, using the toilet to balance my foot, reading the diagram and trying to visualize, using lube, having my husband help me…it only seems to be correctly inserted about 25% of the time. The rest of the time I can feel it, and so can he. Ugh.

    Anyway, all this to say that I emphatically do not want to go back on hormonal birth control, but I’m also terrified of the IUD and greatly dislike condoms so…for now I guess I’ll stick with the diaphram. Wouldn’t you think, with all of the frickin nanotechnology and god knows what else we’ve invented, someone, somewhere, could come up with an easy, effective, painless, non-hormonal birth control? Maybe Apple needs to get on that…

    • Anon

      I know a couple of women who have not had kids, but have the copper IUD (paraguard) and have used it for years with no problems. They said that insertion was painful, but after that it has been fine. Maybe it is something to explore with your doctor.

  31. conbrio

    Can someone please explain to me how every single model on the Eloquii website has the flattest stomach I’ve ever seen? Not the tiniest bit of pooch on any of them. It’s a miracle.

  32. Nonny

    Ugh, struggling today with a horrible, nasty headache but I actually have work I have to get done at the office. All I want to do is go to bed….

  33. Cajunqueen

    “Christmas cards you love to hate” question – I received my first Christmas card of the season yesterday, and it’s from neighbors with whom we do not get along. They make a LOT more money than we do and every year they vacation at someplace fabulous, have a family photo taken there (H,W & 2 kids), and then use that photo as their Christmas card. This year, I took a look at it and threw it in the trash. Under those circumstances, a Christmas card is not a gesture of good will – it’s bragging. My other most-unfavorite card is from a woman lawyer I used to work with many years ago, who quit her job to stay home with her kids. Each year she sends a Christmas card with a typewritten, 2-page-long, novella on how wonderful her children are doing, all their activities, awards, etc., her volunteer activities and their vacations. I can understand why you would send something like that to relatives, but to former work colleagues, especially those who would have liked to be able to quit work and stay home with kids except that their income was necessary to pay the bills? One year I was tempted to send her a card with a novella about how my son discovered a cure for cancer and my daughter performed at Carnegie Hall and won a full scholarship to Julliard. Rant finished – thank you.

    • another anon

      Wow, really? These people took the time to send you a Christmas card, and this is your reaction? Your neighbors–they are being neighborly. They are entitled their christmas photo wherever they want. And some people choose to spend their disposable income on travel . So what?
      Your former coworker–Did you ever consider that she might miss work and is trying to keep in touch with her former colleagues in case she ever has an opportunity to come back? I seriously doubt that she sent the card with the intent to try to make you jealous of her.

      As an aside, I do have friends who send out a fake Christmas letter about their fake ridiculously talented children. They now have actual kids, but they started the tradition before that. The letters are hilarious, and I look forward to reading them every year.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        Oh, now I’m having a blast thinking about the Novella I could write about my dog and cat’s year. I could creatively write a whole page about finally discovering that one can catch his tail, that the toilet has far better tasting water than any standard bowl, the earth shattering discovery of how amusing it is to leave vomit right where humans will step in it barefoot…. Hmmm…..

        • Herbie

          I’d love to do this, but somehow I suspect my writing at length (even if objectively hilariously, ahem) about my cat would bring me pity, not laughs, from friends and family.

    • anon

      Sheesh. Thanks for reminding me why I’ve stopped sending Christmas cards/letters. There’s no pleasing everyone.

    • Huh?

      This is one of most bitter and misguided posts I’ve read in a long time. We send a similar type of newsletter every year, not to brag, but because we care about our friends and want to keep them updated on our lives. And your neighbors are probably just trying to be nice, not to “rub it in” that they go on vacations. I’m sorry you feel so upset about something that was intended to be a friendly gesture.

    • Herbie

      My most unfavorite Christmas card is from Santa Claus. Yeah, you’re such a jet setter, we know. Oh, you know which famous person’s child so well you even know what they want for Christmas and whether they were naughty or nice? Well, la-ti-dah, Mr. Fancy Pants. What’s that, flying reindeer travel seems a bit slow these days? Cry me a river.

      I mean, seriously, who does this jerk think he is.

    • conbrio

      I totally get what Cajunqueen is saying. The economy has been horrible for a long time, and the holidays are rough for a lot of people, and everybody has challenges, and sometimes having to look at an unsolicited communication from a perfect person about how bloody perfect her life is is really quite annoying. I can see how this could be a situation where this holiday card wasn’t a neighborly gesture of good will – she mentioned that her family and this neighbor family don’t get along, and I think it is possible to cross the line between proudly talking about your family and accomplishments to being insensitive and bragging.

      • Cajunqueen

        Thank you, Conbrio! I happen to enjoy getting photo Christmas cards and I keep a lot of them if they are from relatives. I love the novella I get from one of my uncles because I like hearing about how my cousins are doing. Perhaps I am just getting tired of being gracious (“how nice! How nice! How nice!” grrr.). Trust me – these neighbors are NOT neighborly, at least to us. The husband and my husband actively dislike each other. I avoid the wife because she will ask nosy questions about how my formerly high-achieving autistic son is doing in college, and I don’t feel like answer ing ANYONE’s questions about that. Sorry to be such a downer! I’m not bitter, just tired.

  34. CSF

    I know this is late in the day, and I can repost tomorrow, but I am hoping this is seen! A few days ago there was a very nice discussion on breast lumps and potential cancer screening. There was a very informative post by “EC MD” that explained the BIRAD rating system. My Mom had her biopsy today, and they assigned her an ARC score. I can’t find any information on that. If you happen to see this, or if anyone reading happens to know, can you take a moment and explain what they mean?

    Her biopsy showed a fluid filled cyst (which we’ve been told is good), but did have some blood (which we’ve been told is bad), so they’ve sent it off for testing. She was given an ARC score of 4, but they did not assign a BIRAD number. Thanks in advance!

  35. consulting

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