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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 198 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Theory

Suit of the Week

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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. All right, ladies, here's the news:  suits with cropped pants are everywhere. They're high, they're low, they're avant garde, they're basic. I have historically been opposed to cropped pants of any kind for a professional look — but maybe tides have turned. Take, for instance, this gorgeous specimen from Theory. I love the way the tweed has such a strong pattern, as well as how the pants have a skinny leg that just ever-so-slightly grazes the ankle. I must say, Saks is the only place I've seen this kind of suit styled with heels (and platforms, no less) — personally I prefer the look with flats for more of a gamine, Audrey Hepburn-in-a-suit feel. For this suit, the jacket (Theory Valea Tweed Blazer) is $445, and the pants (Theory Frayne Tweed Dress Pants) are $295.
Theory Valea Tweed BlazerTheory Frayne Tweed Dress Pants
(L-5)

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  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

  1. Watery Eyes

    Walking to the subway this morning, my eyes got so watery and teared so much that now my entire eye area is totally dried out and my makeup is caked. Does this happen to anyone else? What can I do to avoid it?

    • Mella

      Sounds like allergies. Has this happened before, in the same spot, or during the same weather? In other words, try to establish if this is a pattern or a one-time thing (construction dust nearby, for example.)

      I’ve developed allergies to pollen over the years. I take Zyrtec, but others here have had good experiences with allergists.

      • Watery Eyes

        I live in NYC, and I think it is more that my eyes get dried out overnight in our desertlike, overheated apartment, and then it is cold and windy outside.

        • nona

          Opps – misplaced. But, yes, the cold and wind will totally make your eyes run. Welcome to winter.

    • nona

      Was it cold and windy on your walk to the subway? Because that would totally do it to me. If the same conditions keep happening, I’d wait to do make up until work, if possible. And bring eye drops.

      • AIMS

        Yes! This is the only thing that works for me. I used to “cry” all winter long, now I wear big sunglasses. Problem solved. And no one on the train tries to make me feel better.

    • RK

      besides the sunglasses, you and other dry eyes may want to try running a humidifier at night. I wear contacts during the day and stare at three computer screens – my eyes are pretty dry when I go to sleep and I have found that a humidifier (something basic from the drugstore) helps me wake up and not feel like my eyes are bone dry.

  2. Woods-comma-Elle

    Reposting here as suspect my comment will fall to oblivion on the giveaway thread.

    I just wanted to say thanks to the person who mentioned Make It or Break It on here the other day – I had never seen it, but decided to give it a go as it was in the same sentence with Gossip Girl, which I love.

    Obviously I am now addicted.

    Also a thank you to the person who mentioned the Android sleep cycle app. I downloaded it and it seems great (although I still go back to sleep, think I just need to get used to it).

    BUNKSTER – I love love love Pretty Little Liars, haven’t seen the Lying Game but will check it out.

    Also, the Android sleep-cycle app is an app which measures your sleep cycles through motion sensors and then automatically wakes you up during a pre-set time period when you are in shallow sleep, so you won’t feel as tired when you wake up. So you can set it e.g. to wake you up between 7am and 8am and it will then wake you up as soon after 7am as you are in REM sleep, but def will wake you up at 8am at the latest.

    It’s genius.

    • eaopm3

      Do you think it would work since my spouse sleeps next to me and so do two restless dogs? I downloaded it, but have yet to use it because I am worried that it won’t be accurate because of those factors…

    • TCFKAG

      If you’re into television shows like the ones listed, I’d also suggest Hart of Dixie. Its awesomely bad. There are formal shorts.

      Nuff said.

      • Woods-comma-Elle

        Also a huge fan of that. It’s actually probably my favourite show this season. That and Once Upon a Time.

        As for people moving around – I wondered about that, too, I guess the only way to do it is to try it out and make sure it’s relatively close to you (although I wonder how good having a cellphone that close to your head every night is…)

        • SF Bay Associate

          I’m also in love with Once Upon A Time. I totally gave up on Ringer though.

    • Em

      Have you watched Revenge yet? It’s filling the gap for me right now during MIOBI’s hiatus.

    • Bunkster

      Yup. Revenge and Hart of Dixie are my new favorite shows. Revenge because it’s just awesome. And Hart of Dixie because of Wade.

      • Hel-lo

        Hart of Dixie is a great show. The writing and the characters so so adorable. Like a Northern Exposure, but in Alabama, so more of a Southern Exposure.

        But Rachel Bilson’s acting awful. It’s such a turn-off for me that I may stop watching the show.

        Everyone else is wonderful.

        • CB

          Me too! What does she do all day? Doesn’t she have a job? If I moved to the south, could I have a scandalous affair with a adorable ex-football player and wear ridiculous outfits?

    • Diana Barry

      Heheheh, that was me with the trashy TV. I love it – but can only watch it when I am home sick, my husband HATES it. ;)

    • KK

      I love Revenge! Bizarrely addictive. I also like Pretty Little Liars. I watched the Lying Game but I have mixed feelings about it. There’s only room for so much teen drama in my life and Vampire Diaries is guaranteed the top spot for now. Then PLL. I don’t consider Revenge in that category.

      • Godzilla

        I started watching the british version of Being Human on Netflix – it’s a great show. It’s a bit gory but really good. Not a teen drama but a show about a ghost, a werewolf and a vampire living together? Golden.

        • cbackson

          Oh gosh. I LOVE Being Human. I haven’t seen the US version, but I really, really love the British original. I had an unfortunate near-death experience (not, you know, with glowing white light and such, but rather an experience in which I was, technically, briefly dead) and after that I found Being Human to actually be oddly insightful on the topic of mortality. Especially for a show that is, you know, in part paranormal Seinfeld.

        • MeliaraofTlanth

          I just did the same thing. It took me about a week to finish the entire show.

  3. the zinger

    I hate to be size-ist, but I don’t think this silhouette works unless you’re a 2 or smaller.

    • Tired Squared

      Actually, I’ve seen a co-worker rock this type of look, and she’s probably more like a size 10-12. I think the key is actually being straight/proportional the whole way down (more like a Ruler than an Hourglass) so the lines of the suit don’t get messed up.

      … which makes me sad because I love those pants and I am definitely an Hourglass!

      • Kelly

        I like that they make the shoes more of a focal point than a regular pantsuit, and as a huge fan of breakfast at tiffany’s/audrey hepburn generally I love this suit! Are ankle pant suits more popular in hotter climates (Northeast here)?

    • momentsofabsurdity

      I don’t even think it works on the model. I think the pants look ridiculous and unflattering – I don’t get ankle length pants.

    • eaopm3

      I am a size 6 – 8 and am more “ruler” shaped, and I think this looks fine on me, so I agree with Tired Squared that it’s more of a shape than a size thing.

      • roses

        Funny, ankle-length pants are actually my favorite, only because they don’t actually stop at my ankles! On my 5’3 body they give me the perfect skinny-pant silhouette without the bunching I get on most (even petite) pants.

    • Amy H.

      I would wear this suit in my (business casual) office, but these pants would look terrible on me — all Theory pants do, b/c I’m more pear and Theory seems to cut trousers only for straight up-and-down figures.

      I also think the jacket is too long, proportionally.

    • KW

      I tend to agree that shape is more important than size, but my first thought was height. I’m tall and feel like ankle pants just look like I outgrew them or they’re too short for me, but I’ve heard shorter people say it makes their legs look short because it cuts them off at the ankle. So I’m not sure what the perfect height for these pants is.

      • Nevadan

        I think the cut of the jacket and pants is okay – for people of a certain body shape and age ( very young) but what gets me is I think that this is too much tweed. I would split it up and wear the jacket or the pants with a plain top or bottom.

        I think the interface between skinny pants of any length and shoes or boots is tricky and I don’t quite understand how to do it.

    • N.

      I love this look, but I was also wondering how well this was going to translate to my non-model shape. I might try a cheaper pair of pants with a similar shape first to see how much wear I get out of them.

      • a.

        Anthro had some really nice ones on sale three weeks ago, in navy and red. I was really skeptical of the trend, but I tried them on in navy because I really needed another pair of work pants and the price was right. Verdict: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Seriously, I have worn those suckers at least twice a week since I got them. Can’t remember the name, but I’ll go take a look at the website and if I can find them I’ll link them below.

      • Kelly

        good point, I’m 5″3, a 2/4 but fairly curvy, with long legs and they work well on me.

        • Littlest Attorney

          As a petite and curvy, but decidedly pear person this is not a look I will ever try. I can only just manage skinny jeans under boots. It is cute though, oh well.

  5. KN

    I love this suit! Stupid question though – my office has a dress code that strictly says “no cropped pants”…you don’t think they mean this right? That’s like, cropped, summer pants…not these! because these are so cute! I’m not a lawyer, just a lowly secretary, so I can probably get away with a little more risk, but still, I dont like to break rules!

    • Mountain Girl

      This is definitely a “know your office situation” but if the dress code bans cropped pants I would not wear these. I think the line between ankle length/cropped/capri becomes very blurred and ambiguous and I wouldn’t want to be the first to venture into those waters.

    • Lee

      My office has a “no cropped pants” rule as well but I wear pants like this all the time. It was explained to me that the rule refers to casual capri-style pants (think khaki capris cropped at the calf). Pants like this, which are only an inch or so shorter than “normal” pants hemmed for flats, are well-tailored and are made of a suiting fabric, are perfectly professional.

      • Kelly

        also, I think there’s a big difference between cropped khaki pants, and ankle dressy pants/suit pants. My office dress code is pretty lax, but I feel like my black ankle pants are a lot more conservative/professional that any other cropped pants, and more professional than say full length khakis or corduroys.

    • found a peanut

      Unless your office is super-formal (i.e., you have to wear a suit every day) I would say that these do not fall into the “cropped pants” category. Esp if you wear them with flats.

    • a passion for fashion

      I would wear this regardless of what my office policy says. Im an atty for goodness sakes and i think i can figure out how to dress myself. That said, I suppose if you work for a corp that actually sends people home for dressing outside of the “code,” a pair of cute cropped pants is not worth the hassle.

    • Michelle

      I think the no cropped pants policy is intended to weed out short-like casual pants that hit between the knee and the calf, not tailored ankle length ones like this.

  6. Sydney Bristow

    @Barrister in the Bayou- I responded to your comment in this morning’s thread about the Clarisonic but I don’t think you saw it. How are you using your clarisonic for your KP? Do you just use the brush or add some sort of product to it? Is there anything you follow up with after using it?

    I’d love advice from anyone on dealing with KP. It’s spread from just being on the back of my arms to my forearms as well. I’ve tried a few Eucerin lotions/creams that I saw recommended elsewhere but they just felt so goopy and gross. I’ve also tried KP Doctor lotion from sephora that is a nice moisturizer but hasn’t really made a noticeable difference.

    • mamabear

      My daughter and husband have KP. The only thing that has worked is applying Amlactin lotion, which is an over the counter item. It really does work if they’re applying it at least once every day, preferably twice. The problem is, the KP comes right back when they (inevitably) stop using the lotion.

      I got a little obsessed with it when my daughter was younger and I read somewhere in one of the dermatologist-written books that I read that scrubbing KP will not make it go away, even though it seems like someting you could scrub off. One book even said it would make it worse. So with that in mind, I haven’t scrubbed at my daughter’s bumps.

      I’ll see if I can find a citation for you on that and post it separately.

      • Sydney Bristow

        Thanks mamabear. I’m only considering getting something like the clarisonic for my KP, but certainly don’t want to make it worse. Do you remember some of the resources you used? I researched it a bit a few years ago when I found the Eucerin recommendation but didn’t find much else.

        • mamabear

          I gave you a couple of quotes below, but for us, the best treatment was Amlactin brand lotion, which is a drugstore item. I recall that I couldn’t find it and had to ask the pharmacist. It’s not expensive at all.

    • mamabear

      By the way, this isn’t an anti-Clarisonic comment. I have the Mia and I absolutely love the thing. I only use it on my face, though.

    • Latina

      I have KP on my upper arms (shoulders to the elbow) also. I didn’t realize that I could be using my Clarisonic on it. My doctor says the only solution is a fragrance free lotion. That doesn’t get rid of it on my upper arms. However, the lotion does stop the itching.

      This may be a stupid question.. Do I use the same clarisonic head for my arms as I do my face? I don’t want to irritate my face.

      • Always a NYer

        They have a special body brush that I’d recommend. The bristles are a bit sturdier, not to mention it’s not good to use the face brush anywhere else. Note, the body brush does not fit on the Mia.

      • Kelly

        I only have moderatish KP and using a face wash with salycilic acid or glycolic acid on it helped a lot.

    • Barrister in the Bayou

      Sorry I didn’t see your response; when there are too many comments I move on to the next thread (otherwise I wouldn’t get anything done at work). I use my Clarisonic Plus body brush with a body wash with some salicylic acid in it. I only do it once or twice a week, but it has helped me. I have fewer bumps and the skin on the back of my arms isn’t as pink as it was before I started addressing it.

      But I have to say, I think I’m going to look into the lotion mamabear recommended for some extra help.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve always kind of skipped over the Clarisonic discussions as I guess I’d assumed it was really more for younger/break-out prone skin, but this thread is a bit of an eye-opener for me. I’m in my 40s with relatively sensitive skin that’s prone to dryness in winter. Sounds like if I’m reasonably careful with not overdoing it that my skin could benefit as well?

      • Barrister in the Bayou

        I think your skin could benefit. I’m inching towards 30 and I’m using it to make the skin on my face more receptive to retinoids. I also feel like my other products (including makeup) go on better after I’ve used it.

        After my first use, I wondered how I ever survived without it ;-)

        They’ve introduced brushes for people with sensitive and delicate skin, so it may be worth trying one out.

      • KK

        I’m not sure if this has been brought up already, but there is an Olay product that is similar to the clarisonic for $30 or so. It’s called the Pro X, I think. Now I’m sure the clarisonic is better, but it it might be worth a shot just to see if your skin might like it. I use it 2x a week and probably should use it more but I often forget. I bought it intending to ultimately upgrade to the clarisonic if I liked it, but I like this one so much that I can’t justify the additional money to upgrade.

    • eek

      I used to get KP pretty badly. I haven’t so far this winter (normally it appears in October) and the only thing that I’ve changed is that I started using Kiehls Creme de Corps lotion in August. Not sure if there is a correlation (diet, exercise and medication are unchanged). FWIW, I didn’t have good results with Amlactin and Dermadoctor brand KP cream.

    • Aria

      This thread is a huge relief — over the past two weeks I’ve developed small red bumps on my hands that get worse under hot water, which I’ve sort of been freaking out about (thinking I had an allergic reaction or a rash). After this discussion I googled KP and realized that’s what I have! Thanks ladies!

    • Frances

      Regular Amlactin user. Glytone was recommended by a friend for KP, so I’ll be trying that out soon.

    • Sydney Bristow

      Thanks for the suggestions everyone! Looks like I’m headed to the drugstore.

  7. Afraid

    Early threadjack:
    I’m a law clerk, and I’ve been married for three years, together for eight. My husband and I are trying to get pregnant, and career-wise there will not be a better time, but we’re having reproductive difficulties (all mine) and have to work with a fertility specialist. Appointments have to be timed rather particularly by week, and even a first- or last-in-the-day appointment involves missing some work, because the doctor’s office is about 45 minutes away.
    The thing is: my judge is not in the loop on our family plans, in large part because he brings up at least once per month a negative comment about a female attorney who has a child/is pregnant, and has made it clear he believes one should either be an attorney or a mother, and not both. It’s getting to the point where we have about 2 doctor’s appointments every month. I don’t know how it works for other clerks, but for me every time I have to take a day off, leave early or come in late there is a form he has to sign. Even though I’m working extra 2-3 times as many hours as I have to miss and making sure to get all my research and work turned in early, he made a snarky comment when I came in from today’s appointment – only 30 minutes later than I normally come in – about whether or not I was going to physically “fall apart” before the end of my clerkship, which ends next July.
    I understand I have to deal with the personality of my judge, but does anyone have advice on how to more generally handle having to take multiple doctor’s appointments in a professional manner? When my judge asks, “and what is this for?” I don’t really want to respond “transvaginal ultrasound and IUI” (Well, part of me does, but it’s probably not in my best interest.) But I have to go back to the doctor next Tuesday, and I am terrified to ask for the 2 hours off I need.

    • KK

      This is tough. How long will this frequency of appointments continue (worst case scenario)? If it’s going to jeopardize your clerkship, can you push it back a few months?

      If you can’t delay (or won’t, which is completely understandable), I would just say you’re having a medical problem that you’d rather not discuss. It isn’t his business, really. Make up the work in the evenings if you’re falling behind a bit.

      • eaopm3

        I second this approach. It’s been my experience with older male employers that once they ask a nosy question and get an answer that makes them uncomfortable, they back off the subject altogether.

      • Lyssa

        I wouldn’t say “transvaginal ultrasound”, because “ultrasound” says baby, but try to say something that uses a clinical term for ladyparts in there somewhere – make it as graphic as you can, then say that you’d really rather not go into more detail. Sounds like we’re dealing with a grumpy old man sort, who will probably be scared off by any mention this sort of thing.

        Good luck to you.

    • AtlantaAttorney

      I think I would respond with “I’m dealing with a minor health matter, but things are fine. Thank you for your concern.” Say it genuinely and make him feel like he was being kind in asking. If he presses on what they are, just wave your hand and say, “Oh, nothing I’d want to discuss at work, but you’re so nice to ask. what’s next on the docket?”

      • Always a NYer

        I’ve found that this response works best. By making him think you’re genuinely appreciative of him asking, and he’s not a total a$$, saying this should get him to back off. If he keeps pressing you further and what AtlantaAttorney suggested doesn’t work, maybe tear up and say, “It’s not something I’m comfortable discussing.” Like I said, unless he’s completely miserable, he should back off.

    • Kelly

      When I came in late one day and a supervisor asked I said I was at the gynecologist. He never asked again. I’m fine with making comments like that though and it’s in line with my personality. I def wouldn’t feel a need to go into depth about reproductive issues, maybe just say gyno and he’ll leave you alone? Also, in the state I’m from all the clerks get 15 sick days. If you’re using your time (which is part of your compensation package!) in hour or so increments a few times a month it shouldn’t be an issue to him!

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Slightly off topic but I had a rude jack@$$ dentist look at my intake form and make a snide comment about the number of medical conditions/medicines I listed and said “wow, good thing you don’t have kids, wouldn’t want to pass on THOSE genes.” I briefly considered fake bursting into tears and saying “oh my God! Is that why I can’t conceive!!! [actually never tried nor do I want to right now] but then I figured it wasn’t worth it and I just wouldn’t go back there again. I just hate how people feel the need to but in and comment rudely on your medical/personal life.

    • anon

      Just to say: I have been through the work ups you described, and wish you all the best.

    • Afraid

      Ha! I’d love to. But then I’m afraid the gods would smite me and I’d actually get cancer.

    • suddenly anon

      While I agree with the sentiment behind this comment, I think is is completely inappropriate to claim you have cancer when you, in fact, do not.

      A woman tried this at my work and, lo-and-behold, the lie snowballed. Not pretty when people found out the truth.

    • coco

      A nosy neighbor once asked my mom, after being away for multiple months, “How’d you get so thin??” It gave my mother infinite pleasure to (honestly) say “Cancer”. (She’s fine now, btw, but boy did that get the neighbor to shut up.)

  9. KK

    Put me in the camp that loves this suit/cropped pants in general.

    Threadjack: On a previous thread, I believe yesterday, several people mentioned a book called Getting Things Done (by David Wells, I believe). It sounded intriguing because I’m a big fan of to-do lists generally and have recently started a job that requires a lot of multi-tasking. But I don’t read a lot of self-help books and I have doubts about whether reading a book on productivity would be a very productive use of my time. Thoughts? There appear to be at least 2 books by him, could I read the second one and not the first?

    • Amy H.

      It’s David Allen. If you like to-do lists, I think you’ll really get a lot out of “Getting Things Done.” You don’t have to read the other one(s). But if you’re only going to read one, I’d recommend reading “Getting Things Done” because nearly everything else he writes about is based on the system detailed in “GTD.”

    • AD

      Along those lines, I just realized that I’d bought this exact book several months ago and had not even had time to think about reading it….

    • anona

      To get a good synopsis of the book, thesimpledollar did a several part series. I feel like I could have implemented the principles just from reading that.

    • Laura #2

      I read his first book only; really liked it and found it helpful. I’ve read he has about 60 pages worth of material spread out over 200+, and I wouldn’t say I disagree with that. It’s definitely skim-able and a quick read.

  10. gref

    It’s cute, but it doesn’t make sense. I think tweed = winter, but cropped pants = summer.

    Threadjack: Has anyone ever booked a vacation through Groupon Getaways? My hubs and I want to go somewhere in the spring, but we’re not sure exactly where and when, only that we want a deal. I was thinking we might wait until we see a good Groupon deal in a place that’s not too expensive to fly to. I was wondering if anyone had any positive/negative experiences to share.

    Thanks!

    • Ellie

      Haven’t, but also wanted to suggest Jetsetter, Voyage Prive, Ideeli travel, Living Social Escapes… and Travel Zoo. I love to dream.

    • hellskitchen

      I used Voyage Prive through ideeli to book a weeklong vacation at an all inclusive spa. However the day before our vacation, severe weather conditions threatened to derail our plans. We called ideeli’s customer service and they were able to help us change the dates a bit so we could enjoy our full vacation. Very helpful! That said, I don’t think most of those deals are really “deals” – don’t just go by what groupon’s website says is the full price for that vacation – go to the resort’s website or use expedia etc. to see what the market rate is and you’ll often see it’s not as much of a deal as it may seen at first.

    • lyla

      Travel Zoo is our go-to when there’s nowhere specific we want to go. Great, great deals.

  12. CW

    Love the suit, just not the cropped pants. Wish they were full-length!

    I know someone posted a similar question on the TPS report, but a Quicken vs. Mint threadjack: is it worth it to “upgrade” to Quicken from Mint? I find that Mint doesn’t capture all the data I need/want it to (e.g., some of my student loans), and I wonder if I pay for Quicken if it would actually be worth it.

    • TCFKAG

      My husband loves it. But he’s also the type who gets up early on Saturday to Quicken. So, he’s a bit intense about it.

    • nona

      I like Quicken – I think you can even go to amazon and get a version that a year or two behind (like, look for a 2009 or 2010 version now) for a pretty deep discount, and then only update versions when you really have to. And the only impetus there really is for updating is if you are doing the auto-download of info from your bank accounts and credit card accounts, and the version you are currently using is no longer being supported.

  13. maternity leave?

    I work for a small firm and am a second-year associate. I am the only female attorney, though not the only female attorney the firm has ever had. During our annual review back on October, I asked the partners about the firm’s maternity leave policy. (We don’t have a handbook, or a set number of sick/vacation days.) I told them it wasn’t something that was an issue at this time, but I would like them to consider what they thought was fair and to get back to me. Then, the head partner told me they would guarantee me TWO WEEKS of paid leave, but the longer I was an employee, the longer they would give me for leave.

    I am not planning to wait three to (?) number of years to have a baby just because they might give me more leave at that time in my career. Given that, what should I do here? I am the primary source of income between H and I and taking any unpaid leave would be terrible, especially given the expenses associated with suddenly having to care for another human being. How do I deal with this issue? Disability insurance? Find a new gig? Attempt to negotiate?

    • sadie

      Disclaimer: I’ve never done this. But my sister did deal with a maternity leave scenario in a small company where there was no policy, and successfully negotiated six paid weeks of leave (plus flexibility on her return).

      So I’d write back and say, “I’m disappointed to hear that. Our peer firms offer _________ paid weeks for attorneys who have been at the firm for one or more years. Not only is 2 weeks below market, but it’s also a significant impediment in recruiting any new women attorneys. Can I continue working with you to develop a policy that works for the firm and for its attorneys?” Don’t cry, don’t make it personal — think of it as fighting the good fight for you and your successors.

      I’d also start looking for a new job.

      And I’d also start thinking about whether H can earn more money.

      Good luck.

    • CW

      I’m not an employment lawyer/in HR, etc., but my understanding is that (if the FMLA is applicable to your company) the FMLA only requires that your job be available for 12 weeks. I don’t know if it requires that you be compensated for any portion of that time. In a former job (not law), I believe they gave you 1 weeks salary for every year that you had worked there.

      You should definitely sign up for long-term disability. You also might want to find an outside provider (perhaps in addition to, or instead of your employer’s provider) because they may pay you more.

      • maternity leave?

        I do not have a disability insurance provider through my employer and FMLA doesn’t apply to our office because our office is too small. (As a side note, it is my understanding that FMLA does not require compensation for time off, only the guarantee of a held position for up to 12 weeks.)

        • JJ

          You’re correct – the employer has to have so many employees and FMLA leave is unpaid. My doctor told me that they routinely recommend 6 weeks’ leave for regular delivery and 8 weeks for a c-section. I’d second sadie’s suggestion for the email to the partners.

          The sad truth is, most employees don’t have a great paid maternity leave. Many just save money in advance of an unpaid leave and take out short-term disability insurance (unless you’re in CA, then you may qualify for state-provided short term disability).

        • CW

          I know you can purchase disability insurance from companies like MetLife, etc. You may be able to get up to 66% of your take-home pay.

    • eh230

      I would try to negotiate, but don’t do it without some facts. Is there a way to find out what other small firms in your area offer? Do you have any friends that you could ask. Your local bar association may also have this type of information.

      If that fails, you will probably just have to suck it up and save for the amount of leave you want. However, be careful with this because firm does not have to hold your job. Good luck!

    • Lyssa

      I’m in exactly your situation, although I’ve never had the nerve to ask anything about the policy. (I even considered and chickened out, contrary to the probably sound advice of my Corporette-y friends, mind you, at the offer stage.)

      I would first say that you DEFINITELY should have disability insurance if you’re planning to start a family. Not just for maternity leave, but in general – what if you get into a car accident, or have a stroke, or anything that would prevent you from working? (I used to be a disability claims rep.) Most short term policies pay 6 weeks after the birth (and before the birth if there are complications). You should have long term disability, too, but that’s not going to kick in for maternity issues (at least, not unless something really goes wrong). You can probably get these through the bar if your firm doesn’t offer them.

      The second thing to look into is starting a savings account now for that time period. Figure up how much you need for whatever time period you would need to take off, and start setting it aside now. You should be able to save enough that you can find a way to manage for at least a few weeks.

      Also, think about how long you want/need to take off. I know that a lot of big-law lawyers take several months off, and I’m not knocking that, but I really don’t think that’s necessary and, to be honest, the expectation of that strikes me as kind of first-world and upper middle class problem-ish. I waited tables through college, and believe me, women were not taking months, or even weeks, off before going back to work post-baby, and they had a much more demanding jobs, both physically and mentally (in that, they couldn’t take breaks or design their schedules like a lawyer usually can). I knew one woman who had the baby on a Wednesday and was back carrying trays on Saturday. I’m not saying that’s ideal (particularly the Wednesday- Saturday one), but I am saying that it’s doable. If you’re the primary breadwinner, does that mean that your husband will be staying home with the baby? I hope so – that means that a lot of the responsibility will be off of your shoulders and you can focus on your physical recovery and work.

      • KK

        Talk to me more about this short term disability insurance ladies. I never knew that you could use disability insurance to plug holes in paid maternity leave. I don’t think my employer offers any paid leave per se, but you get 15 days of sick leave and 15 days of vacay time per year, which you can use for maternity leave (getting you 6 weeks paid). Unused time rolls over year to year. Assuming that I don’t want to blow all of my leave in the event that I get pregnant, how does this short term disability thing work?

        • a passion for fashion

          short term disability insurance covers the first 6 weeks of leave at most large firms.

        • CSF

          I believe the STD policy I signed up for will cover 8 weeks of maternity leave. However, in my state, attorneys are only granted 3 weeks of “secured leave” per year, so that will likely be another hurdle for you.

        • Anne-on

          My firm offers 6 weeks of short term disability leave for a standard delivery, 8 weeks for a c-section on top of our additional paid maternity leave. Most people at my firm also supplement this with vacation.
          Yes, we’re very lucky!

        • Lyssa

          Policies vary, but the most common way (as in, the most common way at the company I worked for, which is the largest company in the US) covers only time that you can’t work due to an injury, illness, or pregnancy (which is classified as an illness). But they have “standards” that say that you are ill enough that you can’t work for 6 weeks after giving birth.

          Policies vary on how much it covers, but it’s usually 60 or 66%. Many allow you to use this on top of something that’s paid by your employer (such as vacation/PTO or other paid leave), but some do not. Most require that the first 7-14 days be unpaid (or paid by your normal sick leave).

          Therefore, if you normally make $1000/week, and you work right up to the day you give birth, you would probably get $600/week starting the week after you give birth and going up through the sixth week after birth. If you have some sort of complications, or you have a very physically demanding job, you might start getting benefits earlier, say, at 30 weeks, but they would still go up through that 6 weeks after birth. Some policies allow 8 weeks for a C-section, but it’s widely considered that most people are physically able to return to work within 6 weeks after a C-section. Of course, if you have major complications that would keep you from being able to go back to work after 6-8 weeks, you can apply for a longer time period that would be covered, up to a policy maximum that is usually 26 weeks.

          Hope that helps. I’m an expert at this sort of stuff!

          • Lyssa

            Oh, and if you want to be out longer than that 6 weeks, that’s usually up to you (and your employer). If FMLA applies, then you can take up to the max (12 weeks after you stop working federally, though some states say more) and they have to let you come back to work, but there’s no requirement that you get paid beyond the Short Term Disability. If there’s no FMLA, it’s between you and your employer.

    • SmallFirm

      Dear maternityleave,

      I wish I had an answer to your question. I think because so many large firms have paid maternity leave of a dozen weeks, I took for granted it was like that in a smaller firm, too. It’s not. And as one who is also the primary breadwinner for both of us, with not a lot of bread left over, I understand what you’re feeling right now.

      I’m not sure that you’ll find a new gig, if you like staying in small firms, that will be much better. First, may want to figure out how much time you can genuinely afford to take off. We’ve figured out that if we save as much as possible now, we can take off 12 weeks for maternity leave. Then, look at other ways to negotiate. Maternity leave is one of those things that can be solved creatively. A lot of small firms can’t afford to pay someone who might not come back after maternity leave; large firms can take that loss. Although I haven’t personally tried it, I’ve heard of women who negotiated a ‘stepped’ maternity package – they took their paid maternity, additional unpaid maternity to 6 weeks, then came in 2 days/week for a month (25% caseload), then 3 days/week for a month, then 5 days/week again, with another month at 80% or so. They still received a portion of their paycheck, the smaller firms knew they weren’t just trying to take the money and run. That brings you to about 18 weeks of an altered schedule…it’s not ideal, but it this economic climate, little is.

    • maternity leave?

      Thanks for all the replies thus far. I have serious doubts about how well-received a letter attempting to negotiate leave would be. I think it is worth discussing again, and I would be much more comfortable doing it via letter than face to face. (I’m a stress-cryer, like someone mentioned in a thread the other day.)

      I am definitely going to get some disability insurance. A few friends have it and I need to look at the rates, providers, etc. they use and get more information. Thank you, Lyssa, for all that you just told me!

      I am considering looking for a different job, but the market here is bad bad bad and probably the only position around here that would offer me better benefits would be a government position, which would probably result in a pay cut that I couldn’t afford to take.

      Saving money: First I have to save up all the money to cover my ginormous health insurance deductible. Then I will have to save up to take some unpaid leave. I don’t think disability insurance pays your whole salary. (Right, Lyssa?) By the sounds of the time it will take me to save all that money, I may have made it to the amount of time I need to be in the firm to take 8 weeks of paid leave ;)

      H’s salary and H helping out: Fortunately, H works for a large corporation, so there is a decent possibility that he might have paternity leave. If not, at least HE can take FMLA leave and I can go back to work, since I cannot take it. I hadn’t thought of that, so thank you for that suggestion.

      I have to say, again, how much I love this community.

      • JJ

        Good luck! I would also look and see if your state has a mini-FMLA law that might apply to smaller employers. I think standard short-term disability is 66% of your pay, but I would make sure your firm doesn’t offer one that has a better rate.

      • Gooseberry

        MaternityLeave, when you get some resources on STD, I’d really appreciate if you could share them here.

        • maternity leave?

          I will do that! I am probably going to try to look into it here in the next week or so and I will post what I find out!

      • Lyssa

        You’re right that disability insurance doesn’t pay the full amount. I’ve seen some that pay really tiny amounts (NY state has a state-wide policy that, last I checked, paid a maximum of $170/week), some pay 50% of your regular salary, most pay either 60 0r 66%. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen them go higher than 70%.

        Taxes are funny, too – if you paid your premiums with post-tax dollars, you don’t pay taxes on the benefits (this means that you might not lose all that much to the percentage), but if the premiums are paid pre-tax, then you do have to pay taxes. Most people get by pretty well, though – remember that you don’t have the expenses of going to work, and it’s not for a huge amount of time in the grand scheme of things.

        I wrote a whole bunch more info up a little bit. If you have more questions, I’m happy to answer them! (I love being an expert on something!)

      • karenpadi

        If your husband works for a big company, he might have an HMO-option for health insurance. HMOs usually cover maternity care at a much higher level than PPOs and high-deductible plans.

        If I had a husband with an HMO, it would be better for me to get on his plan even if it initially costs more to enroll. For example, I have a high-deductible plan where I’ll owe close to $8k in deductibles if I have a child. I was dating a guy where he could add a spouse onto the HMO for $250/month and a $250 annual co-pay. The HMO would be a cheaper option over the course of pre-natal and maternity care. I think some HMOs even cover some infertility tests or treatments.

  14. gref

    It’s cute, but it doesn’t make sense. I think tweed = winter, but cropped pants = summer.

    Threadjack: Has anyone ever booked a vacation through Groupon Getaways? My hubs and I want to go somewhere in the spring, but we’re not sure exactly where and when, only that we want a deal. I was thinking we might wait until we see a good Groupon deal in a place that’s not too expensive to fly to. I was wondering if anyone had any positive/negative experiences to share.

    Thanks!

    • Circe

      My sister just went to Cabo over Thanksgiving on a groupon getaway, and loved every minute of it.

  15. lucky07

    threadjack-
    Does anyone know of a good website or book for women traveling in more conservative areas of the world, such as the Middle East or parts of Asia? I’m especially interested in advice for trips to India. A focus on different types of social events, festivals and holidays, etc. would be especially helpful. Many guidebooks have mostly gender-neutral advice (like don’t drink the water, avoid particular areas), or just briefly warn women about difficult finding certain sanitary products, not wearing shorts, vague safety concerns, etc.

    Side note- I would love to see a post on this kind of topic!

    • anon

      I don’t specifically. You might try sites with community forums like lonelyplanet. I think the state department’s travel site might have some information of this sort in it’s travel guides for different countries, but it’s definitely more safety focused.

      To my understanding, India is not particularly conservative in terms of women vs men, except maybe if you are visiting certain religious sites. And a foreigner especially would be fine wearing whatever was weather-appropriate. It’s not the same as Saudi Arabia or other conservative muslim countries where women are expected to be predominantly covered up in public.

    • Anonymous

      Try tangodiva (DOT) com as a resource. It’s an online travel magazine geared towards women that offers many articles on different parts of the world.

    • Gets Around

      You don’t mention if this is for work or play. The answer can depend on what you are doing while you travel. A great web resource for female travellers is Journey Woman (google it – super easy to find). Covers many different countries but is more on holiday/adventure travel than business travel. I found some of it very useful but be sure to take any info there with a grain of salt. I’ve travelled internationally extensively for work for the past decade but made my first trip to India this year. The advice I read was very conservative and it turned out that the major centres are much more like any other world capital than I was led to believe. Turned out I packed the wrong wardrobe!

    • LMo

      India-specific response:

      I highly recommend LonelyPlanet’s Thorntree forum. The book Holy Cow!, which is about an Australian woman who moves to India, is an entertaining way to casually absorb some of the information you are wondering about as far as social events and some festivals and holidays. You probably aren’t finding a ton of information about gender specific advice because there isn’t much to be had.

      My two cents from a lengthy trip I took there a few years ago: keep your shoulders and knees covered and you will be fine. If you have light colored hair, you might want to keep it braided or up, not because it is inappropriate but because it gets a lot of attention which can become very annoying. And if you are not with a man, avoid drinking by yourself or with only other women in restaurants unless you are in Goa.

      I bought some local kurtas and trousers when I got there and that was a nice way to not have to worry about my clothing being inappropriate or overly hot. But like anon said above, it isn’t a scary conservative place. It can be overwhelming, but that’s an entirely different post. :)

      Have fun!

      • lucky07

        Thanks everyone! I’ll definitely check out a few of the websites, and Holy Cow if I have time. Covering the knees and shoulders was what I assumed, and it is a relief to hear that some of the very conservative advice doesn’t necessarily apply. I will bring a big scarf, just in case I feel inappropriate in a particular location. And shopping while there is definitely on the to do list.

      • anon

        The best reason to cover up in india is (1) mosquitos, (2) sunburn, and (3) unwanted attention if you are caucasian (not in a dangerous or threatening way, just annoying fascination as described above).

        • ss

          I second the overwhelming/ annoying fascination though it differs in specific locations. I am a petite Chinese person and find it entirely comfy to go about on my own in downtown Bombay and Delhi where the crowd is mixed (gender) and people are generally going about their own business and too busy to pay that much attention – I really enjoy being able to pop into my favourite shops and sights without thinking too much about it. But the streetscape can seem predominantly male beyond this (even somewhere quite prominent like Chennai) which weirds me out a little (where are all the ladies ??) and I generally stay put in the company of local colleagues and/ or the company car. Different rules apply in Goa where the well-established beach/ rave scene means that locals are more conditioned to foreigners in vacation mode.

          Shopping in India is great though. Someone mentions FabIndia below which is great for clothes and house stuff which I actually use after getting home. There are multiple locations in major cities, just Google it up, and it’s a very user-friendly experience in that you can just reach out for stuff on your own without relying on pushy sales people. Also a special mention that books are a bargain. They are heavy to carry home but a good store can organise a package-wallah to bundle it up and mail back, very inexpensively.

    • Circe

      Me too please! I was told that dresses generally aren’t recommended in India, but then someone suggested a “nice dress” as attire for a fancy dinner I’m attending, so now I’m confused. Any tips would be great!

      • Nonny

        Dresses are absolutely fine. The key is that it shouldn’t be tight or show any cleavage, and you shouldn’t show a lot of leg. If your dress is short, you may want to wear skinny pants under it.

        I am totally a skirt suit gal, but when I was in India on business, I wore pant suits – I would have gotten too much of the wrong kind of attention otherwise.

        You will see that some progressive Indian women do show leg, but if you are Caucasian, you have to apply the rules much more conservatively than you would if you were local.

        People have already commented on wearing salwar kameez in India. I second that, but even more so, whether I was wearing Western or Indian attire, I found it handy to carry around a large scarf (dupatta) which I could drape around myself to hide my figure if I was feeling a little too exposed.

    • Amy H.

      I highly recommend the book “A Journey of One’s Own” by Thalia Zepatos. Not specific to travel in India, or more conservative areas of the world, but a fantastic guide for solo women’s travel. Also second the recommendation for the Journeywoman website for India-specific posts and articles.

      • PM

        Amy — I first read that book in 1992 (!) and it gave me the courage to take a few trips on my own, so I am glad to see you recommend it. Obviously, she has updated it.

    • RK

      on the clothes front, would second the buying of kurtas and trousers – you should be able to get cotton ones that are super easy to wash and dry and very comfortable. If you want to get a few ahead of time, check out sites like fabindia.com or similar.

      • earth

        Can you specify which region of India are you visiting,as different regions have different requirements.If you are visiting New Delhi .its quite modern but try to avoid short dresses as well as scoop necks if you are going shopping or site seeing.Always wear conservative clothes while visiting religious places,and try to go to Cannought place in Delhi it has handloom show rooms ,you get authentic Indian things.You can go to fab india,anokhi,kala niketan.Let us know which region you are going.Have a nice trip.

    • 1L

      Would also love, LOVE to see a post on solo travel for women (but one that’s less location-specific). Forgive me if there’s been one already!

    • hellskitchen

      For Nepal, I highly recommend 3sistersadventure (dot) com – run by women for women travelers and employs women from low income communities as guides so they can be independent.

    • Indian

      1. India is very diverse and the large cities have a huge population of working women (honestly unless you’re loaded, you need 2 incomes to pay the ren & survive)
      2. Don’t wear mini skirts etc atleast if you’re not going to be travelling in private transport all day and every day. Anything knee length or longer is fine. Don’t show cleavage at work. For clubbing/partying, no problem!
      3. SLeeveless stuff is 100% OK. Try to avoid spaghetti straps.
      4. Unless you’re planning to visit villages, feminine products are not an issue in cities/towns. As are contraceptives.
      5. Large cities are reasonably safe (atleast as safe as the US for sure, if not more so)
      6. If you’re white, you may have beggars following you. Don’t be stressed and don’t pull out money or you will be like honey to the bees.
      7. Drinking (w/out men) is OK in the big cities. As always, be alert.
      8. Don’t overpay. People may try to take advantage of this so do research.

      India – more than any other country – has hundreds of festivals. As I am not sure exactly what you’re after, maybe post a question in tomorrow’s TPS report and I’ll try to answer.

      Enjoy! It’s a colourful country with more diversity than you’ll see almost anywhere else – so make the most of it It can also be annoying so take it all in your stride.

    • Herbie

      I don’t have any specific resources to point you to, but I spent two weeks in India a few years ago. As far as dressing goes, wear loose-fitting pants/shirts, don’t show off the girls, and you’ll probably be fine.

  16. stc

    Holy crap, I thought the 4 paid weeks offered by my old firm was crap. Are you big enough to be covered by FMLA?

    • maternity leave?

      I am not covered by FMLA because our firm does not have enough employees :(

      • maternity leave?

        But, to be clear, they didn’t tell me I couldn’t take unpaid leave. However the partner phrased it made it sound like I could take however much time I needed – I just wouldn’t be paid for anything but the two weeks.

        • Diana Barry

          I would focus on the disability insurance angle – that should get you to at least 6 weeks, 8 if c-section. I would guess that the firm’s health care plan either has it or can get it on a rider.

          Good luck!

    • Ellie

      Kind of love the idea that someone would see this Corporette comment before they saw an email.

  18. Blonde Lawyer

    For digestive health reasons (crohns/gerd) I’m considering going gluten free/lactose free for 2012 or at least for long enough to see if it makes a difference. I have found any obviously high lactose/gluten foods make my condition worse and I don’t have any dairy besides yogurt w/o lactose pills. I’d like to read a book that explains a lot of this, not just a cookbook w/ recipes. I’ve heard about the Specific Carbohydrate Diet but that seems a little too intense. I know we have a gf/lf blogger here. Does anyone have any specific book recs?

    • TCFKAG

      Hey,

      You know I’ll answer this one (though I’ve never gone GF or LF because I’d go crazy and when I’m sick usually bread and cheese is ALL I can eat). There are several members of my TC team who have gone GF/LF. One is on the Specific Carb diet, and that seems way too hardcore for me. Another highly recommends the JERF diet book — I haven’t read it and don’t know a ton about it, but he swears by it (it put him into remission, yada yada yada). Finally, a third member of our team has gone with it pretty much alone, using more standard gluten free cookbooks (she also has celiacs, so it was pretty critical for her).

      Anyway — I’d check out JERF (especially if you could find it at a store without buying it) — but luckily since gluten-free has become so “trendy” right now, there are a ton of cookbooks and products targeted at that market. :-) Hope it helps!

    • Dorianne

      I have had terrible problems in the past with gastritis and digestive issues. Check out “Clean” by Dr. Junger. The premise is a 21 day cleanse followed by an elimination diet, but you don’t even need to do the more restrictive cleanse. While following, I had no digestive issues and it has really helped me a ton.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        Thanks! I have heard other good things about that book. I had dismissed it because I thought it was just a cleanse. I will look into it.

    • Sydney Bristow

      There is a blogger called Gluten Free Girl who wrote an ebook that I was able to get through my library. I’m not sure how scientifically accurate it is (and I didn’t finish ready it because I decided not to try gf) but it was written in an accessible way about her own life.

      • anon

        I LOVE GFG. I am gluten intolerant (came on suddenly and seems related to my various digestive issues) and her blog helped me so much through figuring out what to eat.

    • eh230

      I went dairy and soy free after giving my birth to my son. There is a really good book/website about dairy free. Check out go dairy free dot org. Good luck!

    • caesia

      Please report back on which approach you go with and how it’s working for you. I’ve been considering trying SCD for similar problems but can’t quite figure out how to make it work since I don’t eat meat. I’ll definitely check a few of the other options mentioned here.

  19. federal maternity leave

    Another maternity leave question–

    I am a relatively new federal employee, and I was hoping to hear from some of the ladies here about how you worked your maternity leave while a federal government employee. My understanding is that we can use accrued annual and sick leave, and then maybe get leave bank donations (plus unpaid FMLA), and I am wondering what people do in practice.

    Thanks in advance!

    • Anon

      It depends on your office, but you can only use sick leave to the extent that your doctor says you have to be out. Leave bank donations tend to go to people who have unexpected medical problems, not for ordinary maternity leave.

    • Fed

      I used all the sick leave I was allowed to use, then all my annual leave, then whatever annual leave my husband was allowed to transfer to me under the voluntary leave program (he’s a fed, too), then I went on unpaid leave. I explicitly wrote it all out in a memo that was signed by my supervisor and above, and HR implemented it as planned. I believe I needed special approval to use unpaid leave instead of invoking FMLA, but I wanted to save FMLA in case of a true emergency, as there are annual limits to FMLA.

    • Anon

      I had unusual complications with my delivery and my doc certified me to be out for 9 weeks, so I took 9 weeks of sick leave off the bat. I took another 11 weeks off, a combo of annual and unpaid FMLA. Talk to your HR rep about the best way to structure your leave if you are doing the combo of paid and unpaid leave–there are rules about only getting paid for holidays if you are in pay status the day before the holiday and/or the day after (can’t remember the exact rule right now). I have never heard of anyone getting leave bank donations for maternity leave in my agency. My office was fine with me taking 5 months off, many women take that amount of time.

    • federal maternity leave

      Thank you so much for sharing! Things to think about.

      About the leave bank–I was thinking it would be weird (maybe in a too good to be true way) to have access to leave bank donations for standard maternity leave. I thought I saw it on a website, so I am glad to get these perspectives.

  20. Gooseberry

    Ladies, I need to suggest a few books for book club, but I’m stumped! What are some of your recent faves?

    • Jas

      My book club just did “Freedom”. It’s super long, but was an interesting read and lends itself well to discussion.

      We did “The Tiger’s Wife”, too, and it was quite good.

      • Lobbyist

        Anything by Atul Gawande (he’s a doc, writes non fiction) although I think my favorite is Better
        The price of privilege (great book if your book club members are affluent parents.)
        Ann Patchett: Run and/or State of Wonder
        Both good fiction books. Run is sort of about politics, race and academia and State of Wonder is sort of about morality and bioethics.

        • karenpadi

          Ann Patchett is one of two “literary” authors I’ll read. She is a wonderful author. State of Wonder and Run are both excellent reads.

          I also read Margaret Atwood. Her latest novels “Oryx and Crake” and “The Year of the Flood” are dystopian (sp?) sci-fi novels but are very intriguing.

    • MissJackson

      There was an amazing (!!!) thread awhile back wherein Bunkster and others shared tons of recommendations. I don’t remember them all, but if you do a google search for Corporette: The Paris Wife (that was one of the recommendations, for sure), you should find it.

    • cbackson

      The City & the City, by China Mieville (kind of sci fi, kind of a police procedural, entirely great)

    • AIMS

      I recently read the new Cleopatra bio by Stacy Schiff and loved it. Also the Night Circus. Amazing.
      I am currently reading Special Topics in Calamity Physics (a novel) and it is amazing. Lots of discussion fodder.
      Also recently read & loved: The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society (perfect book club reading); The Red Tent;

      • C.

        AIMS, if you like Special Topics in Calamity Physics, you should check out Donna Tartt’s The Secret History. There’s a lot in Special Topics that seems inspired by Secret History, and I think a lot of people would argue that the latter is actually a much better book.

        (But *don’t* read Donna Tartt’s other books–she had a knockout success with The Secret History and went downhill from there. Blech.)

        • cbackson

          Ah, The Secret History is a near-perfect book, IMO, and Special Topics does seem to owe it a great debt. I liked Special Topics, but The Secret History is amazing. And, yeah, Tartt’s other stuff…not so much.

    • So

      A quick, classic, and thought provoking book that my mom’s book club just used (on my recommendation) with great success is Passing by Nella Larsen. It’s a Harlem renaissance classic, and talks about race in a way that’s pretty accessible.

    • Bunkster

      Try The Last Letter From Your Lover by JoJo Moyes or Faithful Place by Tana French. Those are my 2 favorite books from the past year or so.

      And I’ll send you a link to my book spreadsheet. It contains a list of every book I’ve read in the past 8 years, with a rating.

      • Backgrounder

        11/22/63 by Stephen King….I just finished it and really liked it! Premise sounds weird/kooky – involves a Maine high school English teacher who goes back in time to save JFK from assassination and ultimately change the course of history…but the writing is great and I enjoyed immensely. YMMV though

        • Gooseberry

          Funny, someone in the book club threw this one into the hat, so it’s a likely choice! Thanks!

  21. Amy H.

    Hi all —
    I’m thinking about buying a motorcycle jacket from Zara. It’s not on sale, and I have not seen any coupon codes floating around. Is Zara like Banana, AT, etc. in that they will offer 30% off or more pretty regularly, such that I should wait for one of those offers? Maybe I should look for a place to sign up for email ads? Or is it what you see is what you get? (The price is decent for a leather jacket even pre-sale.) Thanks.

    • Tina

      They are probably not as other brands you’ve mentioned, as they are a European (Spanish) brand and work on a bit different model. They do have sales and add other items to sales, but not coupon code sales (yet?).

  22. MissJackson

    I’m not opposed to cropped suit pants, really, except that I do think it makes the suit less timeless. If I’m going to pay Theory prices, I want something that won’t stand out as “so 2011” in 2016. (Perhaps I’m just cheap?)

    This is a partially biased opinion based on the fact that narrow, cropped pants are not a style that is well suited (no pun intended) to my figure. If this style looked great on me, I might be less worried that it would look “dated”. (I wear things that are not per se “in style,” so long as they are flattering to my figure and coloring.)

    A related PSA: I just discovered the “sale” and “clearance” section of the lafayette 148 ny website. I snagged a suit from the sale section. But — wowza — if anyone out there is a petite or especially a plus size, I recommend you take a look at the clearance section. Amazing deals for those sizes! You need to know your size with this brand, though, because they run (very) large in my experience and the clearance section is final sale.

  23. Anon

    Is it a good or bad idea to bake for the office on the last day of my (legal, gov’t) internship? I want to show my gratitude but I also don’t want to look like a suck-up or get negative comments as a result.

    • jr

      I’ve baked for most of my coworkers in various jobs and internships. I just enjoy baking. I don’t know that I ever did it on my last day (did it in my second week of clerking, though, because I happened to have extra cake batter from DH’s bday cake), but I see no problem with it.

    • Anonymous

      If you’re good at baking, go for it. (This a NGDGTCO rule I flout regularly, with nothing but positive results.)

  24. SeaElle

    Pretty Suit.

    Do any of you ladies ever find that the Fed Loan Servicing people just give you completely incorrect information? I swear I am on the phone with them all the time (which might be because I just entered repayment) but I’ve been told the absolute incorrect thing repeatedly by them! I want to repay my loans, I’m one of the good ones, so why are they making everything so freaking hard?!

    Sorry… just got off the phone with them… serenity now…

    • cfm

      my god they are awful. I submitted a perfect loan consolidation IBR application in August, and it is still is not right. They are like oh we’ll just defer you. I dont want to be defered! I just want you to get your shit together and fix my application. First I was told 10 business days, now its 30 the last time I called. Also one time I called and I’m like yeah Im just confirming you recieved my faxed over information because the last one you lost. And they are like no we dont have it, we dont have any info for you about IBR. and im like wtf you had some of the info! and shes like nope and we go back and forth like that and finally she goes your name is smith right? no! No it is not smith why they heck did I give you my ssn my address and birthday if you are looking at the wrong page omg!

    • cfm

      I used a bad word so Im in moderation, sorry Kat!
      my god they are awful. I submitted a perfect loan consolidation IBR application in August, and it is still is not right. They are like oh we’ll just defer you. I dont want to be defered! I just want you to get your sh-t together and fix my application. First I was told 10 business days, now its 30 the last time I called. Also one time I called and I’m like yeah Im just confirming you recieved my faxed over information because the last one you lost. And they are like no we dont have it, we dont have any info for you about IBR. and im like wtf you had some of the info! and shes like nope and we go back and forth like that and finally she goes your name is smith right? no! No it is not smith why they heck did I give you my ssn my address and birthday if you are looking at the wrong page omg!

      • MelD

        This happens with all loan companies. I submitted an IBR request to my service and got a “sorry you’ve been rejected for unemployment deferral”- huh? Never mind the fact that the forms are completely different. When I started to repay my loans, I submitted a payment as indicated on the website as the minimum to pay off any interest and my first payment and I was told “Oh it is too early so we just applied it evenly.” How on earth is it too early if I get my statement and pay it? I was told I should make specific payments by phone until all my loans were in repayment, but when I tried that the phone system would just hang up on me. Don’t even get me started!

      • SeaElle

        This is exactly what I’m going through! I just got back from Staples where I faxed them my tax return from last year AGAIN. One tip I got this morning is to call a half hour after you fax something in, confirm that they got it and then ask them to expedite the review process. That’s what I’ve been dealing with ALL morning (when I would rather be applying for jobs so I can actually pay these things asap and never have to deal with them again… then again, maybe that’s their strategy? lol)

  25. Shayne Machen

    This is such a gorgeous suit. I’d prefer it with heels, however, because I feel like flats with ankle plants is too relaxed. The ankle pants are relaxed and the flats are relaxed. I think it should be one or the other but not both :)

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