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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 211 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: ‘Twist and Turn’ Boiled Wool Jacket

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Nic + Zoe 'Twist and Turn' Boiled Wool JacketThis is an unusual sweater, but on the right woman it could be beautiful. According to the 17 reviews it runs small, but is great to accent a small waist, and the material feels more like a sweater than a blazer. I think it would be lovely with a pencil skirt, or perhaps a sheath dress. It was $152, and is now marked to $75.90 at Nordstrom (available in black, gray, purple, dark blue, and red). Nic + Zoe ‘Twist and Turn' Boiled Wool Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

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Comments

  1. kiley

    Hi all,

    could anyone recommend a therapist who could help with anxiety issues in DC? I have been really plauged with anxiety lately its starting to really affect my life. Its about a weird thing in my past, I basically start to panic that I could be falsely accused of something from 5 years ago. (I realize this is weird haha) I finally called two therapist recommended by my GP, and they never returned my phone calls, which I found really discouraging. So I am looking for someone sensitive, attentive, who wont make me feel weird about an illogical anxiety (I know theyve seen worse Im sure… its just hard to take that step to the first ever therapy appointment.) thank you very much in advance.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I don’t have a referral for you but I want to say good for you for recognizing you have something you need to work on and taking steps to work on it! Good luck!

    • January

      I’m not in DC, so I can’t recommend anyone specifically. Try searching for a therapist who specializes in anxiety issues on Psychology Today’s “Find a Therapist” feature. I’ve also heard good things about The Women’s Center, but again, I have no personal experience.

      I posted on here last spring under another name about feeling nervous about seeking help from a therapist for some anxiety issues (I know, the irony!). I spent a few months with the therapist and think it was helpful, though it wasn’t a magical cure-all. Therapy isn’t quite as scary as it sounds – I found it to be more like talking to a really knowledgeable, non-judgmental friend. Good luck to you!

      • kiley

        Do you still feel like you suffer from anxiety? I’m at a point in my life where I should literally be happy about everything-everything is awesome! but this has just been creeping and creeping until now every day i have it

        • January

          I do still feel anxious at times (my problems have more to do with social anxiety, and some situations are just difficult for me). But she did give me some strategies for how to better deal with those kinds of situations in the future, and she also helped me put to rest a particular issue I had been ruminating about for a couple of years by that point. I might go back at some point, or possibly seek a different therapist. It sounds like your anxiety is focused on something fairly specific, so I think there’s a pretty good chance a professional would be able to help you get it under control. :)

          • January

            And.. the reason I sought out a therapist in the first place was because I was endlessly ruminating over something that had happened in the past, feeling angry every morning and getting angry about little things. It did help – like I said, I don’t ruminate about that particular issue anymore, and I feel more like myself most days. Hope that all makes sense.

        • Midwest

          My experience was similar to January’s. I agree that therapy isn’t a cure-all, but it can give you some direction and help you process things more efficiently than you can on your own. I had some ideas about where my anxiety was coming from, but mainly I was tired of feeling angry and ticked off at the world even though I had every reason to be happy. Going to therapy was helpful because I could be completely honest and unfiltered with my therapist. Even with friends or my husband, talking only got me so far because I was afraid of being judged if I REALLY said what I was feeling! In therapy, I ended up saying things out loud that surprised me. I think those thoughts had always been there, but I’d stuffed them down and hadn’t really dealt with them. I usually left my sessions feeling emotionally wrung-out but really good, like how you feel after you’ve exercised so hard that every thought has been drained from your head and you can just *be*. Which was awesome, because living with the thoughts in my head all the time had become consuming and awful.

          My therapist also gave me different ways of looking at situations that were grating on me, personally and professionally. I didn’t do therapy for an extended period of time — maybe 5-6 sessions — but I’m in a much better place than I was six months ago. However, I’ll say that it’s been a long, sometimes painful process of facing my sh*t head-on and challenging myself to find healthier ways of dealing with the stressors in my life. And learning to relax a little (OK, a lot).

          Also — I don’t know how you feel about this, but it’s something to consider — I believe that temporarily going on a low-dose of Zoloft helped immensely in my treatment. I was really scared to be medicated, but Zoloft took away the worst of the edginess almost right away. I would not hesitate to use it again, if the need arose. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can accept that anxiety issues may be part of my life occasionally. It’s kind of a blessing, really. When I feel the anxiety ramping up again, that’s my warning signal that I need to adjust how I’m living.

          Whew, this got really long, but I hope this is helpful. The Corporette community helped me SO MUCH in dealing with my own issues last summer.

          • Anon

            I would second this. Not to discourage you from seeking therapy whatsoever, but after a year of therapy I tried an SSRI. It has been so helpful. The science behind SSRIs is not well-understood, but for me, they have been a game changer.

    • cbackson

      Not in DC, so I don’t have a referral. But I was treated with cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety that was escalating to insane levels, and it was INCREDIBLY helpful. As in, I hardly ever feel anxious now, and when it comes on, I’m able to stop it almost immediately. Just wanted to offer a bit of hope to let you know that it is possible to get through this :).

    • Alana

      I don’t know your background, but it’s good of you to ask this group. A family member had some difficulty at first finding a well-fitting counselor because therapists were so accustomed to dealing with institutionalized or homeless people that they didn’t see the problems she had.

      • L

        Ugh, I’m sorry. I went back through the recs I had and none are metro accessible. Keep asking around for recs, but I would ask anyone you possibly choose what their process for new patients is. Can you talk to them for a few minutes and find out their philosophy? Do you have to book a full appointment? One thing I’ve had recommended is EMDR, which can help you reprocess stressful/traumatic events. If you’re concerned about one event in particular, maybe this could help? They certify people, but I would cross reference it with certified counselors – I am pretty sure (90%) you have to be a licensed counselor to train for this, but at the risk of being wrong, please double check.

    • In DC

      I saw Dr. Cornelia Lischewski several years ago on the recommendation of a friend (both of us biglaw lawyers at the time). She’s in DuPont. She doesn’t specialize in anxiety, and my issue was straight depression so I can’t speak to her effectiveness for anxiety. She was very compassionate and really changed my life in a lot of ways. She does very traditional talk therapy, and it took me nearly two years to “finish.” (She didn’t pronounce me cured, I just realized that I was having to scramble for things to talk about at our sessions because I’d processed just about everything I needed to process.) I liked that I knew at least one of her other clients was biglaw because I felt like I was being so “poor little rich girl” and didn’t deserve compassion.

      Cornelia Lischewski, PSYD
      1616 18th Street Northwest Washington, DC 20009
      (202) 364-3657

      Also, totally random, but if this is a new thing you might review your medications. Although depression is an old frenemy, I am generally only anxious about real things. I may go overboard on the anxiety when I have a reason for it, but it is never out of the blue. Then suddenly over the summer I started having major anxiety and completely unwarranted paranoia that I was going to be fired. It was strange and awful. After a couple of months it came to me in a dream–literally–that it was the Allegra my allergist had recommended. Anxiety is not a known or common side effect of Allegra (googling yielded zero results), but when I stopped it the anxiety went away.

  2. anonymous

    Early threadjack: I would love a recommendation for a great tailor in nyc. I would love someplace that can do an amazing job fixing suits and professional wear. Thank you!!

  3. For a friend

    This jacket would be lovely on a tall woman. It looks a bit long for anyone under 5’6.

    Reposting from yesterday in the hope of getting some more responses:

    This is probably a long shot but here goes: I have a very pretty and sweet Indian Muslim girlfriend looking to get set up with a Muslim guy. She’s in her mid 30s, never married, highly educated professional, lives on the east coast but is very open to relocation. She’s already tried the online thing and is on all of the sites that cater to Muslims looking to marry, so I thought I would try to help her find other options.

    Anyone know of any educatedl Muslim professional men in their mid 30s – early 40s? I know that we have a few regular posters here who are Muslim (Ru, where are you?!). If anyone has relatives or friends they can recommend, please email me at wingwoman51 at yahoo dot com

    Thanks!

    • momentsofabsurdity

      IMO (as an Indian, but not a Muslim) her best possible chance at meeting a guy in her subculture (if that is important to her) is to ask her aunties to set her up. Not an arranged marriage, per se, but the auntie network extends far and wide. At least, that’s how it works with Indian Christians? I have a cousin who just got married because his great aunt and her aunt’s husband’s cousin were bitching to each other about how neither of them was married yet, and passed on email addresses.

      Of course, she should pursue lots of avenues and there are plenty of Muslims who aren’t Indian who she might want to meet, but that’s just my two cents.

      • For a friend

        I’m Indian too, so I know how the aunty thing works. In fact, that’s how I met my own dear husband. :)

        A gazillion aunties have set her up with people, but it just hasn’t worked out but she’s still open to that idea.

      • cbackson

        I wish that Generic Christian White People like myself had an auntie network, sigh…

          • a.

            Four. Bless him (or [expletive] him, it depends), my dad tries, but he’s just not as good at it as an auntie.

          • Nonny

            Seriously, that old Eastern European matchmaker role needs to come back. (And whenever I think or type “matchmaker” I hear the music from Fiddler on the Roof in my head. I encourage you all to participate.)

        • For a friend

          I’m extremely grateful for the aunty network because I met my hubby that way. Before him, I had been on 10 blind dates, all of which didn’t go anywhere. My husband had never been set up by an aunty and was very skeptical until he met me. :)

          But, I also understand how people find it stifling because everyone knows your dating life and your business. By our second date, I had already met his family and he had met mine. But, it’s a real comfort in the Indian community to have it and now that I’m in my 30s, I feel myself “aunty-fying” in my quest to get my married friends hitched! Good luck to all of you who are looking.

          • For a friend

            Oops, I meant “to get my UNmarried friends hitched.” No plans to get the married ones hitched to others.

    • kng

      I can’t recommend a guy, but i’m wondering if she’s tried muslim or ethic professional/social networking groups? MuBANY (muslim bar association of new york) and NAAP (network of arab american professionals) come to mind immediately. I know MANY people who have met their fiancees/spouses through NAAP

      • For a friend

        Thanks kng. She’s not Arab American though (she’s Indian) so I wonder if she could join NAAP? It’s worth at least passing along that info to her. And she’s a doctor, so she wouldn’t be a part of MuBANY. I believe that she has joined a similar networking org. for Muslim physicians.

        • Rani

          There is NetSAP or NetIP (Network of South Asian Professionals or Network of Indian Professionals). My experience with them is that the “Networking” ends up being much more of the matchmaking variety, rather than the professional variety. (Not snarky, I met several good friends through it, it was just that once people were engaged/married, they rarely went to events).

          In my limited memory the members did skew toward Hindu, rather than Muslim, but that may really vary based on the chapter etc.

          Are her parents/family looking as well?

        • kng

          half the people at NAAP are married to south asians (my close friends and family members included) — of course it depends if she and her family would be open to that…

          • For a friend

            Good to know. There is a NAAP chapter in her city, and I’ve passed on that info to her.

            Re: NetIP, that’s also a good idea and I will let her know about that organization as well.

            Thanks all! Keep the ideas coming.

      • For a friend

        Yep, she’s on Shaadi. One issue she’s finding is that 1) some men are intimidated by the fact that she’s a doctor and 2) some men are looking for a woman younger than 34

    • MaggieLizer

      I’ll be following this post, too. One of my very best friends fits this description, except she’s a bit younger and lives on the west coast. Thanks for posting this.

    • Terry

      This is meant kindly: if she’s been on a million dates and nothing has worked out maybe her dating skills need a tuneup. I don’t mean that she’s socially inept or a bad person, but that there are a specific set of skills she may be missing.

      • anon

        This is also meant kindly: perhaps she also needs to define or re-define what she is looking for, in addition to meeting more people and having good friends like you help her out.

    • Anonymous

      I’m a practicing, conservative member of a different religion (not Muslim). Oddly, I’ve had better luck on secular dating sites, including OKCupid and Match, than on ones tailored to my religion. I still only date people who share my faith, but it seems like the ones who are on those sites are older, have already tried the religious sites, and are not as picky/looking for an imaginary ideal of a mate. So perhaps she could try some secular sites?

      • Anonymous

        Also btw – she may consider dating outside her religion. One of my best friends married a guy who was what you’d probably call a seeker when she met him. Through her, he became interested in our religion, and he decided to convert before they get engaged. Obviously this doesn’t work for everyone, and some people do end up breaking up due to religious differences, but many people also are seeking God and end up changing religions at some point in their adult life.

      • another anon

        I wonder if the men on the secular sites would be more open to dating someone who is a professional than the people on the muslim specific sites? I really have no idea if this is true or not, but it seems to me that it might be the case that men on the Muslim-specific site are more likely to be looking for a woman who has chosen a more “traditional” path.

    • Ru

      OOOOhhhhhhhhhhh MAN! As a victim of the auntie network for the past 5 years, believe me, I can empathize (I call one of favorite aunties “The Godfather” bc of the amount of times she’s coerced people into marrying). I am so swamped at work right now but I really wanted to write more about this, being a single Muslim woman can be type confusing (like, how do you date without “dating”?). I’m currently on shaadi, singlemuslim, qiran, nikah, muslimmatrimonial and I tried halfourdeen (wow, this doesn’t sound incredibly pathetic). Also, at her age, she may need to consider marrying divorced men…or importing a husband (I’m getting the import-a-husband speech on a daily basis now). Tell her to find me. I’m hijabeng @ wordpress.

      • Bunkster

        Heh. A guy on my team went through a matchmaking system in his old town in India. His parents were involved, as well as the bride’s parents. Apparently, the first potential match didn’t work out, but the second one did. So he went home for a month and got married. She now lives here with him and it’s been a serious adjustment.

    • AnonIndian

      I am an Indian living in Chicago, working high paying/long hours finance job. My parents have put me on shaadi.com for over 6 years but it hasn’t led to even one in person date or meeting. Obviously my parent pre-screen who is good enough to even email and unfortunately they are just too picky. Meanwhile, I have met and dated people through friends + work network and had a serious relationship for quite a while. I have felt that south asian dating sites are much suited to people with mindset that women’s jobs/careers are after all secondary to the main purpose of taking care of a family. They have question on women’s profile asking “Do you want to work after after marriage” and on men’s asking “Do you prefer a working wife?”, totally pisses me off with such blatant gender stereotypes is assumed to be perfectly normal. I am only 27 right now and hoping my parents will be more open minded once I hit 30 (total horror/misfortune in their mindset to be single THAT long).

      • For a friend

        Hey AnonIndian, don’t give up on the online thing completely. My sister as well as four other friends all met their spouses on Shaadi, and all are attractive, educated, progressive, and normal. All of the women in the relationship work too, and in fairly high profile jobs. I do have friends who haven’t had great luck, granted, but I do know that site works for some people.

        You say that your parents have put you on Shaadi. Does that mean that they wrote your profile and that they are responding to inquiries? My experience has been that when the parents write the profile, it automatically tends to attract more conservative guys. Also, what you are looking for and what your parents are looking for might be slightly different. I would consider creating your own profile and looking through matches and responding directly, as opposed to going through your parents. Good luck!

        • AnonIndian

          Thanks for responding, glad to see someone in corporette reading crowd knows people who had success with shaadi ! My parents have been handling the profile and initial correspondence. By the time I speak to a guy on the phone that my parents have already elevated to “future groom” status, I realize we have some major deal breakers that my parents never thought were relevant (e.g must move to state xyz with n0 “good” jobs for me, must have 2 kids before 30 and so on).Agree it is time to take over this Indian dating scene in my own hands for any chance of success.

          • Ru

            Dude, you have to take control away from your parents. It’s never going to work. Parents are honestly too picky and they have a concept of what a husband should be like for you that you would never pick for yourself. Whenever I see a guy’s profile written by their parents, I think that a) dude is too lazy and b) parents are too controlling. And I’m from a stereotypical conservative family.

          • OP

            Exactly what Ru said. You will tend to attract uber traditional guys if your parents manage your profile and that sounds like exactly what you are not looking for.

            Also, I would keep an open mind about the guys you see on Shaadi, even if they don’t “check all of the boxes.” My sister initially rejected a guy on Shaadi because she thought he was too old (8 years older), then I looked at his profile and said she was crazy and urged her to reconsider. She then wrote him an apologetic email and asked if he wanted to chat. 1 year later, they were married!

  4. JessC

    Not bad. I like the cable detail at the waist and agree it would be great to accent a smaller waist/hourglass figure. I can’t get past the length of it though – if it hit at the top of her hips as opposed to the bottom of her hips/top of her legs, it would be way more flattering.

  5. Pest

    WARNING: ANNOYING WEIGHT LOSS UPDATE AHEAD. I’m excited about this and don’t have anyone to tell at the moment.

    I have been on Atkins (the only diet that has ever worked for me) since Dec 26th. I’ve lost 7.4 pounds in the past month. That’s not bad, considering I had foot surgery this month and can’t exercise and can barely walk. I only have 28 more pounds to lose until I reach my goal (the same goal I’ve been chasing for the past three years).

    • PollyD

      That’s great! To maybe inspire you, my boyfriend started doing a modified Atkins (avoiding carbs but eating leafy greens, berries, nuts and lots of low fat cheese and meat) about a year ago and has lost about 30 lbs. And he wasn’t really exercising because of back injuries from a car accident. The nice thing is that he just generally feels better, too. This diet seems to agree with him in a way that other diets don’t and he really doesn’t want to go back to eating a typical diet. He makes sure to buy very good quality food so that even if the diet is a little restrictive, he doesn’t really miss the other food because what he eats is so good. He also found some kind of dark, super-high percent cocoa chocolate bar that is very low carb and occasionally will have a square of that. It’s a regular quality brand, maybe Lindt or something? It’s not easy to find this specific version, but maybe Whole Foods or some other fancy grocery might have it.

      I will say, traveling with him has made me realize that it’s difficult, in the US at least, to avoid or minimize eating carbs. Everything quick and easy tends to be carb-filled. Sad to say, but MacDonalds isn’t actually a horrible option on the road – just don’t eat the buns! He tends to try to bring specific brands of no-carb protein bars when he travels and asks for substitions at restaurants, so it’s not too bad but it has been a bit eye-opening for me.

      Congratulations to you!

      • Pest

        I do a lot of the same things that your boyfriend does, like ask for side salads to substitute for starchy side dishes at restaurants, and eat protein bars and burgers and hot dogs without the buns. The easiest restaurants to order at are steakhouses, because the steaks usually don’t have sauces (which often have flour in them to thicken them). I get my chocolate fix from Breyer’s Carbsmart icecream, but I will be on a lookout for that Lindt chocolate. Thanks for the tip.

        • PollyD

          Also – Emerald brand cocoa-dusted almonds. Delicious and no extra sugar. They also have cinammon-dusted almonds. They’re nice when you want something just a little bit sweet.

          I have to say, I would never go drastically-low carb, but my boyfriend’s success has made me think more about what I eat.

    • greentea

      Atkins is the only diet that has ever worked for me, too.

      I wanted to agree with everyone’s comments:

      Way to go!

      Yes, until you try to avoid eating sugars and carbs you don’t realize how incredibly prevalent they are everywhere in America. It’s just crazy wild.

      Yes, I feel so much better than if I never lost another pound I’d keep eating this way the rest of my life.

      Yes, the quality of food I eat has gone way up, and my bloodwork shows I’m much healthier six months on Atkins.

    • attiredattorney

      Congratulations! Removing weight is a huge accomplishment and the result of hard work -no matter what eating plan is followed.

    • Cajunqueen

      Low/no carb dieters – what do you eat for breakfast? I HAVE to eat breakfast, or else I feel sick to my stomach (reminds me of morning sickness but it’s DEFINITELY NOT THAT). I can low-carb my way through lunch and dinner, but there’s a lot of very healthy breakfast food that is off-limits on a low-carb diet, such as oatmeal, whole wheat toast, bran and bran products. Plus, I find that I need some kind of starch to settle my stomach in the morning.

      • Vegan

        Don’t know much about low-carb diets, but I usually have apples and peanut or almond butter for breakfast. Technically apples are carbs, but maybe low-carb means no-grain, not no-fruits-and-veggies?

      • Anon

        I tend to like low glycemic breakfast/protein bars for breakfast. With a cup of coffee, it’s just enough but not a pile of bacon and eggs, which turns my stomach in the early morning.

        Even natural sugars, like fruit, cause enough disruption in my blood sugar to cause me to crash after eating them (especially first thing and alone).

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I’m GF LF so it is by default low carb. I drink smoothies. I use frozen mango, apricot, peach, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, canned unsweetened pineapple, almond milk, and coconut milk. I pick two or three of the fruits, toss in some coconut milk for fat, top it off w/ almost milk, blend in a bullet blender and drink.

        I also sometimes eat eggs and veggies and bacon.

        Most recently, I made jasmine rice w/ coconut milk and pineapple juice, boiled and smashed some frozen fruit and mixed it into the rice. It was awesome. Got to think outside the usual breakfast box.

      • AIMS

        Not low carb, but wouldn’t eggs be the perfect breakfast food? When I am trying to lose a bit of weight, I usually make a spinach omelet for breakfast. It’s very satisfying and filling and as long as you omit toast, you should be fine. Sometimes I just do a soft boiled egg and fruit.

      • Pest

        I always eat breakfast. If I have time, I eat eggs for breakfast with a side or scrambled and mixed with the leftover sauteed veggies from the previous day’s dinner. I have coffee with Splenda and a small amount of heavy cream. If I don’t have time (sadly this is more often than not), I grab an Atkins bar or shake, head out the door, and make green tea at my desk with my electric kettle.

      • Red

        I used to think I needed carbs in the morning too. I”m not on a low carb diet but want to lose a few pounds and eat greek yogurt for breakfast. I guess you’d just have to stay away from the sugary ones.

        • AIMS

          I have recently started to eat greek yogurt for breakfast, too (chobani, low fat, not fat free)… and I am surprised by how filling it is. I’ve eaten regular low fat yogurt in the past and it was always fine but kinda blah, and I never felt great afterwards but this stuff is fantastic.

          • Red

            yeah, I like the 2% chobanis way better than the other ones! I used to eat oatmeal and banana for breakfast which was way over 200 calories and not as filling.

        • a.

          Oo thanks for posting that recipe! I’m not low-carb or anything, but I dig anything involving eggs, mushrooms, and goat cheese.

          How well and/or long do they keep?

          • zora

            I make a batch on the weekend, and they are still good to finish up the following weekend. I haven’t tried stretching them longer than that, so I’m not sure. But they keep great for a week, and I can either eat them cold, or throw them in the toaster oven at work for a minute or so.

            Glad people like it! It feels nice to contribute to the community for once! ;o)

      • greentea

        For breakfast, I have a 2 egg omelet, which usually has spinach, mushrooms, or baby shrimp in it (feels like such a luxury…but they’re pre-cooked and I buy them in bulk). If we have leftover veggies from the night before I throw those in. Once I get away from what commercial tell me I should eat for breakfast, it’s much easier.

        I also boil ~5 eggs on Sunday evening so if something happens either with breakfast or an emergency snack, I can grab something in the fridge. And I have found – eggs & bacon are not so heavy once you take away the toast, butter, orange juice, fruit, and gravy. Also I can also go to 1pm without feeling hungry at all anymore.

        Last little thing – before I went low carb, I got headaches at least twice a week and at least one-three migraines a month – now I’ve had exactly three headaches in the past seven months. It’s nice, and kind of makes me wonder if I had some kind of undiagnosed allergy.

      • phillygirlruns

        not low carb per se, but i eat grain-free/paleo. i used to eat bagels OR greek yogurt/berries/granola for breakfast and was sure i had no time for eggs. false. my regular breakfast is two eggs over-easy with one chicken sausage (the larger sandwich-size links, not the little breakfast sausage style links) and a handful of raw spinach. including time to wash the pan, this takes me under 7 minutes to prepare, and i pack my lunch while i’m at it. i bring it to work in a tupperware container – i have a short commute (10m biking/15-20 walking), so it’s still hot when i get in, or at least hot enough. it’s more of a PITA to find chicken sausages without added sugar than it is to cook eggs.

        • L

          If you’re super lazy like me, you can buy a microwavable egg poacher and some egg whites and in 1.5 mins you have a delicious protein packed breakfast. Top with a little salsa – yum!

          • Cajunqueen

            Okay – here is my problem. I’m up at 6 because my daughter (DD) has to be at school by 7:45 and she needs at least an hour to get ready and 10 minutes to get there. I’m getting her up, making tea, making bed, making lunch, emptying dishwasher, putting work outfit together to take to gym, repeated trips upstairs to move DD along, getting dressed for gym, loading car, getting DD breakfast, out of the house by 7:25 to drop DD off at school and head to the gym. Somewhere in there is a bite to eat so I don’t feel sick. By the time I do my gym workout, shower, dress and get to work, it is between 9:15 and 9:30, which is the soonest I actually have time to SIT DOWN and eat. At that point, I am HUNGRY. My routine has been to have a piece of toast shortly after I get up and then cottage cheese or yogurt and fruit when I get to work, as kind of a mid-morning second breakfast. If I did low-carb, the piece of toast would have to go. I was just wondering what to replace it with. How do nut, almonds in particular, figure into a L/C diet?

          • Susan

            If you’re even more lazy, then for breakfast, you eat dinner leftovers that have protein in them, as I do. I’m not above eating a chicken tikka masala + rice for breakfast, or leftover osso bucco, or shrimp fettucine, or lamb shishkabobs.

            Yes. I’m weird on top of lazy!

      • breakfast

        For three years, I have eaten basically no grains and no dairy. Breakfast is usually either:

        * banana with almond butter

        or

        * eggs (2 whites, 1 yolk)
        – scrambled, with salsa
        – scrambled, with mushrooms
        – scrambled, with spinach, tomatoes and black olives
        you get the idea

      • Jax

        I make about 4-5 hardboiled eggs on Sunday. Throughout the week I’ll grab one if I’m rushing out the door (otherwise it’s a spinach/misc vegetable omelette).

        Bacon takes 2 mins in the microwave. (Put bacon in papertowel, set timer to 2 mins, let it sit for 1 min).

        I also make breakfast “cupcakes”.

        Cupcake pan with liner. Put a little sausage/leftover diced up meat/bacon in the bottom. Sprinkle in some random veggies (mushrooms, peppers, whatever I’m trying to clean out of the fridge). Fill up the rest of the “cupcake” with some beaten eggs. Bake for 15 mins. Makes little frittata-cupcake things that you can put in the fridge and grab and go. Especially tasty if you have salsa/guac to put on top but a good quick bite nonetheless.

  6. Diana Barry

    Meh. I’m never sure what to think about these sweater jackets. I would rather wear a blazer or a cardigan and not these in-between things.

    • Susan

      Agreed. They look too stuffy for me to feel like I’m dressed casually, and too casual (and unstructured) for me to feel professionally dressed. YMMV.

    • cbackson

      I don’t like them. I’m young-looking (31, but look a lot younger), and I feel like I need more structured stuff to help me look professional and trustworthy .

  7. anon

    Have any of you quit a job immediately after taking it due to getting another offer?

    A friend of mine accepted a job two days ago but then he got a call from his dream job that he interviewed for a month ago offering him the position. He wants to quit the job that he just accepted (didn’t start yet) but is worried about how horrible this looks. The two jobs are completely unrelated and he probably wouldn’t ever interact with the first group. I didn’t really know what to tell him except that he needs to understand he might burn some bridges if anyone recommended him for the first job. Any thoughts?

    • TCFKAG

      I had a friend who just recently did this. I think this is a reality of the world — and frankly the company hasn’t even invested any money in him yet! He should do what’s best for him. If this economy has taught us anything, its that companies will cut us at the slightest provocation.

    • so anonymous

      I have not, but I would think they would understand and appreciate him quitting now rather than onboarding him and having him quit after a few weeks, months, etc. And I’m sure, since they just interviewed people, they have a convenient runner-up that they can turn to with minimal effort.

      Semi-related, has anyone quit a job between 0-12 months? I’m starting to think I will be in this situation soon, and feel like it will be awkward.

      • Quitter

        I did this. I graduated from law school without a job, and landed a job in biglaw that looked good on paper, but pay was below market ($100K, when other first-years were making $160K + bonus…I understand that $100K sounds huge to non-biglaw, non-bigmoney types, but I was basically making 50% of what my peers were, which is extremely disheartening) and, more importantly, the hours were terrible, at least 275 per month every month. Also there was no room for advancement, my boss was really difficult to work with (others have also left), and I had no interest in the field. A few months in, a former classmate working at another firm said they were looking to hire one first-year in her department. I jumped at the opportunity, gave positive reasons for “lateraling” from my then-current job (didn’t mention that I was underpaid), and started at Firm #2 within 4.5 months of starting at Firm #1. I am much happier and have no regrets at all. It was awkward saying I was leaving, but I had PC reasons to give both firms for looking to lateral (new practice area more reflective of the courses I took in law school; better pro bono mentality at Firm #2; and Firm #1 was well aware of the salary/promotion issue). If your current job is really a bad fit, or if the potential job would get you where you hope to go professionally, then I think it is fine to lateral. Although I plan to stay at Firm #2 for at least two years so my resume looks a little cleaner. And I would guess that if Firm #2 lets me go, it will be tougher for me to lateral to a third firm within a short period, so hopefully that doesn’t happen. Oh, another good thing about Firm #2 is that I had such a bad experience at Firm #1 that my expectations (workload, camaraderie, even bonus amounts) are extremely low; I feel a lot less stressed and a lot less disappointed than I did at Firm #1, where I was continually hoping that my job would improve or that my efforts would be appreciated.

    • anon

      It’s certainly been done, but yes, you do burn some bridges and leave not-great feelings at the spurned company. That said, it’s not a rare occurrence. Many companies have “trial periods” for the first 6 months for just this reason.

      ASAP, your friend should get the 2nd offer in writing and 100% solid, then notify the first company as quickly and courteously as possible.

    • anon

      Should he reach out to his references and let them know he went somewhere else, or would that only matter if one of his references had a connection to the first company (I don’t think they did, but he might just not have mentioned it)?

    • Niktaw

      If he has not started working, it’s not as bad and he will certainly not be quitting, just rescinding his acceptance of the job offer.

    • Bunkster

      A guy we hired last March did this. I think it’s bad. A lot of work goes into the process of hiring someone, not just interviews. An email had already gone out announcing the new hire. The helpdesk and infrastructure guys had set up his email, pc, logins, etc. Just because he hasn’t received any money doesn’t mean that the company hasn’t spent any money on him.

      It’s negotiating 101. If you think you might get another job, you try to prolong the process, but once you sign the contract, you’ve accepted the offer.

      • Niktaw

        He just accepted the offer 2 days ago, so his start date would have been anywhere from 2 weeks to a month away. The company could not have possibly done any of the setup activities you listed.
        Now, I’ve seen someone start a job and resign in a month – probably for the “dream job”, or just a better offer. I think this is a lot worse than the situation we are discussing and really hurts one’s career Karma.

        • Bunkster

          I’m in IT. They definitely could have.

          And for reference, I received my offer on a Wednesday and started the following Wednesday.

        • J

          At my company, we don’t notify other candidates that we’ve filled the position until the person actually starts work. We’ve had people no-show on the first day! I think this is a pretty common practice, so it’s possible he wouldn’t be inconveniencing the company at all and they’d just offer the job to the second choice.

        • zora

          I think declining *before* your start date is better than quitting after you’ve started. So, if he can get the offer in writing from the dream job, and let the other place know he’s changed his mind as quickly as possible before his start date, I think it will be understood and not a big deal. Starting and then quitting is also fine, if that’s what he’s got to do, it’s his career, but it will have a better chance of frustrating someone and burning a bridge.

      • anon

        I agree that it’s bad – no way around it.

        That said, the alternative – taking a job you don’t want, and the company hiring a person that doesn’t actually want to be there, when they possibly/probably had other candidates they could have taken instead – is worse, IMO.

        (In the extreme it’s kind of like breaking off an engagement. Sucks for everyone involved, but better than getting married to the wrong person – for both the spurned and the spurn-er.)

      • Bunkster

        Also, we were really shorthanded. When this guy was hired, we were very excited. For me personally, it meant that I might actually not have to put in so much overtime. I might even have been able to take some time off. He was supposed to start at the beginning of March, but then he rescinded. His replacement didn’t start until the end of April.

      • anon in NY

        How would you have suggested they extend the offer deadline out of curiousity? I’ve never heard of anyone presented with “we need a response by Tuesday” being able to say “Can I answer you Friday instead?” without the company saying no.

        • Bunkster

          I don’t know. I’ve never been able to do it, but I hear that some people have (on this site, I think, actually).

          I accepted my current job. The next week I heard on a couple of other jobs I’d applied to, but I’d already accepted this one and I signed a contract.

          There aren’t a whole lot of people in my field. The unemployment rate for it is 3%. We didn’t have any other candidates. We had to start over from the beginning.

          Also, if the person was hired through a recruiter, the whole relationship is ugly. The company doesn’t want to work with the recruiter again and the recruiter won’t work with the candidate again.

          • anon

            Completely off-topic, but Bunkster are you still working for that awful boss? If so, and the unemployment rate in your field is 3%, I hope that encourages you to look elsewhere. At any rate, good luck with that situation (if it’s still going on).

      • MelD

        I think that’s good in theory, but some jobs just have a longer hiring timeline than others. At least where I am, some employers take two months to even extend an offer, while others (like my office) typically extend an offer and have the person start within a month of the interview.

        Yeah, it’s a pain in the butt to have a person decline after accepting an offer, but it’s better than the alternative of having a person actually start, get trained, and quit after 2-3 months. In the first scenario, you can likely call up the second-choice applicant and s/he’ll still be available to take the job. I work in government and everyone here has to have a fairly extensive background check. I don’t think the rejection letters for others even go out until the person is cleared to work. Also, I think your situation is unusual as many fields these days have many qualified applicants.

    • Anonymous

      People have done this to my company. It sucks a little, but it’s not a disaster. It’s understandable. One of my best friends did this to a law firm, and the firm was also understanding.

    • Jax

      If he hasn’t set a start date then now is the time for him to politely decline. Even if he is, I’d still decline it now. The other candidates are probably still fresh in their minds and it’s not as bad as if a month had gone by and they have to start over again.

    • Lady Girl

      For what it’s worth, I do the hiring in my office. If I hired someone and two days later they told me that they were offered the job of their dreams, I would understand. Trust me, we save our vitriol for those who stick around just long enough to drain tons of time and money before leaving.

      Life is short and cruel and frankly I am happy to see anyone realize their dreams. Your friend might be surprised at their reaction.

  8. MissJackson

    Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the very helpful conversation on bunion/bunionette surgery from yesterday’s thread! This community is such an amazing wealth of knowledge!

    • Pest

      I missed the thread yesterday. I had bunion and hammertoe surgery two weeks ago on one foot, and will get my other foot operated on in early March.

      • S in Chicago

        Good luck on your recovery and upcomoing surgery. I missed yesterday’s thread as well, but just want to say I’ve had both surgeries in the past (same foot) and it was literally the best thing I’ve ever done. I haven’t had foot pain now in years and am far more active. One of my few regrets in life is that I didn’t do it sooner (spent most of my college years going home early from things because I couldn’t stand the shooting pain through my toes after a few hours standing). So many more shoe options opened up after as well. Hope you experience just as great of an outcome.

    • Kanye East

      Good luck to you. The best thing about my surgery was that each step no longer felt like broken glass grinding around inside my foot.

      The second best thing was the sociological study I conducted during the month following surgery. The demographic that most frequently offered me a seat on the bus or subway wasn’t what I expected.

      • TackyMum

        My sociological study is that if you are pregnant or have crutches, it is the adolescent teen-aged boys who offer you a seat (much to my surprise). Next are women. Next are senior-aged men. Men in suits are oblivious.

        • Kanye East

          Based on my completely anecdotal evidence, it’s middle-aged women of color. During my month of hobbling around with a boot and cane, not a single man or boy offered me his seat.

          • Bunkster

            My grandmother always said it was young women, like me.

            Maybe it differs by region. Or the person who is being offered the seat. She wasn’t pregnant (yikes!) or injured, just sweet and elderly.

          • AnonInfinity

            Bunkster, I agree this must differ by region. I’m not pregnant or injured, but if I walk into a room and all the seats are full, at least 3 men aged 25-50 will jump up and offer me a seat.

      • Pest

        Thanks for the well-wishes, ladies. I’ve decided to skip the metro during rush hour while I recover. I’m wearing an open toe surgical boot with a sock over my bandaged foot, and I’ve had too many close calls with people almost stepping on my toes.

  9. Kontraktor

    I need some tips on case interview preparation… books, resources, experiences, advice. Whatever you have to offer. Although I currently work for a contracting/consulting firm, I didn’t have to do a case interview to get the job, and for some new opportunities I am looking at, it seems as if I will have to.

    • Pink on Black

      Try searching the career section of the major consulting firms which tend to provide example cases. A google search several years ago also yielded a few b-school case study prep materials. Good luck! Try to see if you can find people to practice with, it might help you figure out the right balance of writing down case study facts, ideas that come and eye contact with the interviewer. Also, take your time to think, interviewers are okay with a short period of silence.

      • Kontraktor

        I have started reading some materials, but what they don’t really suggest is how long a case answer should be. It is unclear to me whether I should expect a variety of business type questions that are simple, but lend themselves to maybe a 5-10 minute answer (and then, presumably do a few of them), or if I should expect a question to start out with that grows and grows and is supplemented by all this background information the interviewer adds, and we spend 50 minutes on one thing.

        I am looking at smaller boutique firms as opposed to the big giants. I don’t know if that changes anything.

  10. MaggieLizer

    I really like this jacket but agree that it probably wouldn’t be super flattering on my 5’2″ frame. Does anyone have any experience with the petites version? It looks a bit shorter but may still be too long for me.

    • Anon Canadian

      I’m 5′ and I would think about hemming it so the length would be more flattering. You’d still get to keep all the lovely detailing around the waist but it would be regular jacket length. I don’t think it would take anything away from it.

  11. manomanon

    SF Bay Associate I hope you’re around to see this.
    I read the article you posted yesterday about heels and the damage they do to people’s calves. While shocking it didn’t stop me from wearing my typical four inch heels to work today. (It’s my work study job and everyone just laughs at my feet since I walk almost a mile each direction)
    The difference today? One of the older teachers, almost 25 years older than me, was walking down the hall behind me and started telling me about this article he had read in the times- about the long terms effects of high heels on women’s calves. The whole building was laughing when they realized that I read the article and still wore the heels.
    BUT I knew what they were talking about and was ready for it! Thanks for posting it :)

    • SF Bay Associate

      Sure thing! I did a LOT of stretching yesterday after reading that article. It hurt, but it felt good afterwards. I think I have another task to add to my nightly rituals.

        • cbackson

          I loooooooooove my foam roller. To the extent that you can love something that hurts that badly…

        • SF Bay Associate

          Foam roller? Where does one procure, how does one use, and what does such a thing do?

          • a.

            You can find ’em at running or sports stores, but I also know people who have gotten them off Amazon. It’s basically a flexible foam rolling pin, that you roll up and down your choice of muscle group. I’ve heard them compared to deep-tissue massages, so they’re great for loosening up tight things that regular stretching doesn’t touch. People say things about them like “It changed my life!” and “I could never go back to my life before it!”

            I have never used one myself. The only people I know of with them are all runners, so YMMV.

          • former college runner

            When I was on the cross country/track teams in college, our trainers used these to roll my calve muscles after races. My calves used to burn for up to a week after particularly brutal long races on the track – on my toes, hard track, spikes = brutal pain. Anyway, if I got my calves rolled the day after the race, the trainers would roll my calves so hard I would literally cry, but the next day, seriously all pain would be gone.

            Ahhh, memories.

          • Nonny

            Sounds like I need to procure this miraculous instrument of torture. My IT band seems to be where I carry all my stress, and is where I focus most of my stretching already. But it’s never enough.

          • perform better

            you can get them at www DOT perform better DOT com.

            I like the six inch round one that is about three feet long. I lie with it under my spine, knees bent, feet flat on the floor, and make snow angels to clear up my shoulder aches. Then I rotate it 90 degrees so that it is perpendicular to my spine, knees and feet the same, and roll it over my shoulders and back to get out the pops and kinks. Heaven.

        • SoCal Gator

          Most good gyms have them. My sessions with my trainer usually start out using them. They make a huge difference. Before I started with my trainer, I had a lot of pain on the top of my foot — so bad I thought I had torn a muscle. Turns out my calves were too tight and were pulling all my foot muscles causing the pain. They no longer hurt at all, in part due to the use of rollers. Other strengthening exercises played a part as well but stretching out tight muscles has loads of unexpected benefits. You should roll out your calves and thighs both front and back regularly.

    • Cat

      I hope you’re not wearing the heels for the mile long walk!

      I wear heels probably 3-4 out of 5 workdays, but I have a nice deep desk under which I can kick them off and have my legs/feet stretched out while I’m seated. On days where I don’t have the chance to take those breaks, I definitely get a twinge when I step out of heels to put on my commuting flats – I’m going to start stretching more at night when I get home on those days.

      • manomanon

        Haha- it depends on which pair I’m wearing on any given day- some are super comfortable over long distances and some are more comfortable if I’m only wearing them up and down the stairs etc.
        Plus its MA so usually we have snow on the ground and I wear my duck boots everywhere and change when I get here

        I should start stretching more- I have been super conscious of every step I’ve taken alll day and they are definitely shorter than my stride in flats.

  12. Fibroid surgery

    Ladies, my sister-in-law has a large fibroid that needs to be removed asap. She’s trying to decide between some type of robotic method (da vinci?) or regular surgery (5-6″ bikini cut). She was originally going with the robot method until someone told her to opt for regular surgery bc the fibroid was located rather high up. She’s asked me, a non-physician, for advice and beyond calling my OB/GYN for advice, I haven’t a clue. Any thoughts from folks who know about this? Thanks

    • anon

      I suffered with fibroids for years. Unless your SIL is herniating the fibroid or the mass is not a fibroid but a malignancy, she probably does not have to have it removed ASAP. I had done some research on non surgical treatment of fibroids and was really interested in trying a Uterine Firbroid Embolization. My male gyn insisted that a hysterectomy was the only way to treat my condition. I promptly found a another Dr. who said that it wouldn’t hurt to try the UFE route. Best thing I’ve ever done. If she the time to choose between which type of surgery she wants, then she prob. has the time to look into UFE.

    • Anonymous

      What did her doctor advise her? She shouldn’t be making this decision on her own – surely the surgeon provided some input. She should get a second opinion from another surgeon if she’s not sure about the advice her surgeon gave her.

      • Fibroid surgery

        She had an ob/gyn whom she doesn’t trust bc he kept telling her it was nothing – and now it’s something! So she’s looking for a new dr as well. Not sure what else she is doing; she tends to look to others to take care of her and I’ve got my hands full right now. I’m going to talk to my ob/gyn on her behalf and get some referrals; unfortunately, he’s not taking new patients right now.

        • K

          Ditto others – fibroids are not malignant, and are not an emergency. They can cause significant discomfort and quality of life issues, but your sister should take her time and investigate all her options (with her doctor(s)) before deciding on surgery.

    • K

      I’m not in the area, and this may be moot if she’s already absolutely decided on surgery, but I had uterine fibroid embolization at the end of December to get rid of my “innumerable” (that’s what it said on the MRI report) fibroids. It’s a procedure performed by an interventional radiologist (gynecologists tend not to know very much about it) in which a catheter is threaded from the femoral artery in the groin to the uterine arteries, and the uterine arteries are embolized (blocked by little plastic pellets). The fibroids are starved of blood, and die. It’s a 1 – 1.5 hour procedure under conscious sedation. The incision is about .25″. You usually stay in the hospital overnight and are pretty miserable for a week.

      This is a much less invasive procedure with a much faster recovery than hysterectomy or myomectomy. Mine has been successful (my uterus with all its fibroids was up to just under my rib cage; it is now shrunk to well below my naval).

      • anon

        I tend to think that gyns do know about UFE. My original Dr. told me that he didn’t recomend UFE b/c of the amount of pain that I would have experienced afterwards. Guess he figured my having full open abdominal surgery in order to have a hysterectomy was going to be a walk in the park. They don’t want to refer you because it’s one less surgery that they’ll perform—and get paid for.

    • Anonsma

      I echo the advice not to rush into surgery. Get a second opinion, and then a third.
      There was a Dr.Oz show that had women discussing how even after the surgery, the fibroids typically regrow in a year or two. Some women are just prone to them (diet/genes/who knows).
      I was told that my fibroids could be a problem if I got pregnant, but I declined the surgery, got pregnant, and everything turned out ok (healthy baby, fibroid stayed the same size, and still no real problems from it). The side effects from the fibroids (if any – I dont really have any) such as bleeding are generally mild compared to the effects/risks of the invasive surgery. If your fibroid is huge, and really interfering with your life, then surgery may be an option, but try to put it off if at all possible.

    • Anon

      Oh I have been there. Four years ago I had five fibroids surgically removed, the largest the size of a football (!!) and two the size of baseballs. I had to have the full surgery.

      My advice:
      – If your sister is anywhere near Boston, get an appointment with Dr. Brian Walsh at Brigham & Women’s hospital. He is the best fibroid specialist around and would be able to give much better advice than the rest of us about her options.
      – If she needs surgery, absolutely insist on a surgeon who can do the “bikini cut” rather than the vertical cut.
      – Fibroids may come back, but they won’t be the same fibroids that were surgically removed. They will be new ones. Because sometimes being a woman is just plain awesome.
      – Someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but I was under the impression that UFE caused infertility?
      – Most importantly, if her doctors are unsure about what to do or if she’s getting conflicting advice, she should change gynecologists until she finds someone that she trusts. Don’t compromise on yourself when it comes to health care.

      • anon

        My IR said that he had some patients that went on to conceive, carry to full term and deliver healthy babies. I’d never wanted to have children, so any risks to future fertility just wasn’t a concern for me.

    • AN

      I realized I had two fibroids when I got preg. Doc said not to worry abou them, and sure enough they’ve shrunk and it appears one has vanished. I’d get. Second opinion about surgery if I were you.

      • Suited Up

        I had a laproscopic myemectomy almost 3 years ago (at age 28)- just two small scars, not the full bikini cut. I had three fibroids removed, the largest baseball sized. I opted for the surgery b/c I was having terrible cycles (causing anemia) and terrible cramping (to the point where I just needed to spend several hours a week curled up in fetal position with a heating pad.) I’m really glad I got the surgery as it allowed my birth control to kick in and regulate my cycle more effectively (and I could get my anemia under control.)

        It sounds like your sister does need to get a second opinion at least- she doesn’t sound comfortable with her doctor and from your description, I don’t blame her. As I’m sure she knows, surgery doesn’t completely reduce the risk that you will have fibroids in the future; in fact, the surgeon told me that I still have a bunch of tiny fibroids in my uterus that he couldn’t remove and which potentially could case problems in the future. I’m not looking to become pregnant (I’ve never been pregnant) but my doctor said that his patients have had good success at becoming pregnant after the surgery. Good luck to your sister!

        • Suited Up

          Sorry- I meant that I did have the bikini cut, not the full “C-Section” cut…I don’t know what I was thinking! But my scars are very small.

  13. Fibroid surgery

    Oh, and she’s in the northern va area, so any referrals would be helpful. Thanks!

    • anon

      I’ve seen Reiter, Hill, Johnson, and Nevin very highly recommended. I didn’t really like the NP I saw, but am going to give another practicioner a shot based on all the rave reviews. Not sure that they would do that kind of surgery, but it would be another doctor to talk through things with (if she is looking for that) and to ask for a referral to a surgeon.

    • J

      The endocrinology and gynecology departments at GW Medical Faculty Associates are awesome. I’m not sure which department fibroids would fall under, but I highly recommend either one.

      As to what type of surgery she has – if she doesn’t even have a doctor yet, she’s putting the cart way before the horse. Her surgeon will consult with her on what type of surgery is appropriate.

    • Lawyeur

      First-time poster here…I’m also in the nova area and second the recommendation for Reiter, Hill, Johnson & Nevin. It’s a big practice with some fabulous doctors and some less-than-fabulous doctors. My favorite doctors are Dr. Nevin and Dr. Busch (yes, my gyno’s name is Dr. Busch).

      • Fibroid surgery

        Thanks, everyone! Passed along the referral to SIL. Your input is very much appreciated!

  14. dog parks

    Threadjack for a dog park etiquette question: There is one dog that really dislikes my dog at our local dog park. One time, we were at the park, her owner brought her in (on leash for some reason–not sure how much this contributed), she was jumping and barking, so he immediately took her out. My dog probably went over to say hello, then ignored her, don’t really remember.

    Yesterday, we tried to go to the dog park, but the same dog was there, she immediately started barking, ran over to the fence where the entrance is, and continued barking (also bearing her teeth and snarling). Her owner could not do anything. My dog stood there (still outside the park, but in the entrance area) with her tail between her legs and head down, so we left and went for a walk.

    My question is–it seems like this other dog is territorial and should not be in a dog park with other dogs (I haven’t observed how she is with dogs aside from my dog). If I am in the dog park already, I have no problem saying something, but if this dog is there before us, is it reasonable to ask that they leave if the dog cannot be controlled? (There is no small dog area, FWIW.)

    • a.

      If I were in your place, I would figure out whether you are dealing with 1. a dog that gets along with everyone except your dog; or 2. a dog that bares her teeth at snarls at all the other pups. If it ends up being 2, I would approach the owner in a non-confrontational way and say something like, “The last couple of times I’ve been here, I’ve noticed that your dog seems to be [specific aggressive behavior that you’ve observed]-ing at the other dogs, and that makes the rest of us feel unsure about bringing our dogs to the park while she’s here. Have you considered addressing this?”

      If it’s 1, I wouldn’t enter the dog park if you see the other dog there. And if the other dog arrives while you’re there, I would leave, if speaking to her owner doesn’t work out.

      • AnonInfinity

        I agree with this. When I was taking my pups to the dog park, there was a good group of regulars, and we were able to help each other talk with people who brought in aggressive dogs that were terrorizing all the others. That could be an option.

        If mean pup only dislikes your dog, I don’t really think it’s fair for you to ask her to leave when they were there first. Partially because it would require you first taking your dog into a potentially dangerous situation, and that’s not a good idea at all.

      • dog parks

        Yes, I agree I need to figure this out. There was another dog there yesterday the whole time, and I don’t know what their interaction was, although I heard lots of continued barking while we were walking after we decided not to go in. Thanks for your thoughts!

    • CW

      If the dog was there before you, and the dog is fine with other dogs (just not yours), I don’t think you should ask the owner to leave.

    • Susan

      1. Are there rules posted on the behavior expected of dogs (and their humans) at the dog park? I’ve never been to a dogpark where the etiquette was: “if I have Killer-Out-of-Control-Cujo, and I got here first, nobody else can use the dogpark.”

      2. How big is this dog who dislikes your dog? And how big is your dog? You mention that there’s no small dog area, but you don’t specify which dog it would apply to.

      3. Does this person look fairly reasonable? Would it be possible to just come up to the owner and mention that the dog seems to be reacting badly to your dog and ask that the owner put a leash on the dog while other dogs are present? It might be less offensive than telling the person that he/she’s an irresponsible inept tw@t for not training the dog properly.

      4. Is there someone who’s an administrator at the dog park? If things go awry, you may need to contact an administrator. Or the police.

      • dog parks

        1. No, and this annoys me (in part, I admit, because I like to have rules). It is something I have been debating addressing with the management of my apartment complex–they run the dog park.

        2. My dog is about 55-60 lbs, the other dog is probably a little smaller. Neither are small, but I’ve seen the small dog area also be designated for problem dogs if there are no small dogs in it, so that’s why I included that detail.

        3. Yeah, I think they seem reasonable, although maybe clueless (but I wouldn’t want to tell someone how to dog-rear). In a prior instance, when the male owner brought the dog in on leash, that bothered me–when one dog is on leash, an off leash dog can seriously intimidate it just because one is on leash and one isn’t, so I never bring my dog in on leash (I always unclip her in the entrance, where it’s double-gated, and let her run in on her own). If a dog can’t be in a dog park off leash, then that dog should not be in there with other dogs, IMO, unless you’ve already talked to the other dog owners.

        4. I think I answered in #1. I am a resident of this apartment complex, not sure if other dog owner is (and technically it’s residents only).

        • Love my Lab

          Maybe do a little recon? Go out to the park without your pup, and try to observe this dog with other dogs. If the aggressive behavior persists with the other dogs, maybe go in and have a conversation with the owner about it? It might be better to try to talk to him without your dog present to avoid the dogs fighting while you discuss your concerns with him (i.e., don’t escalate an already tense situation).

          For whatever it’s worth, he should be aware of dog owner etiquette, and scaring other dogs/owners is definitely something that he should pick up on. Our lab, for instance, is not dog aggressive, but she will bark at other dogs more than labs typically do and the fur on her back stands up whenever she first meets another dog. My husband and I have gotten in the practice of telling other dog owners – up front – that she’s not dog-aggressive, but that she will bark/raise her fur while she’s playing. If the owner still seems uncomfortable, we remove our dog. We worked with a trainer, who explained that the behavior may intimidate owners – but unless the other dog shows signs of fear/aggression, then the dog understands that our pup is just playing. (The trainer also gave us techniques to “lessen” the behavior, but I’m not sure it will ever fully go away).

          Based on this advice, a big red flag to me is that your dog was scared of the other dog. Humans may not understand all the cues of dog behavior, but other dogs do. I just wouldn’t risk putting your dog back into that situation until you’ve confirmed that the other dog is not dangerous, or to be on the safest side, just avoid the park while that dog is out there. Good luck! The image of your pup with her tail between her legs and head down makes me sad, so I hope you get it figured out!

          • dog parks

            Thanks for the tips, and you sound like a very responsible dog owner.

            If you are in DC by any chance, can you recommend your trainer? Our dog has started barking at other dogs that she meets during on leash walks, which is a relatively new thing for her. Like your dog, we don’t think it’s aggressive (tail wagging, no raised fur), she’s just trying to figure out how to play with the other dog.

          • Love my Lab

            I actually am in Northern Va! Unfortunately, our trainer was connected with the rescue we worked with, and based out of PA, so she doesn’t regularly work with DC clients.

            I have heard great things about Woofs! one-on-one training in Ballston, but cannot personally vouch for anyone in particular.

            Also, our dog regularly exhibits the greeting behavior you describe. I have not done a great job of keeping up with the training, but I do know there are lots of great techniques to stop it. Good luck!

    • Kay

      If the other dog is there first, and not having a problem with any other dogs, you might just be out of luck. Sometimes dogs just don’t like each other.

      My dog is a jerk and a huge embarrassment at the front gate. Also on a leash. Once everyone is inside, she is a happy pup. Maybe the owner hasn’t figured this out yet (sadly, it took me a while). In my case, I have to remove my dog, at least from the entrance area, and distracted her until everyone is inside. Then she couldn’t care less about the new dog. Anyway, that is advice for the owner of the crazy dog, not for you.

  15. just Karen

    Does anyone have any experience with Corso Como boots? I have wanted a good pair of flat, knee high boots that will fit over my calves and they have a pair of very simple ones on sale on 6pm that I am thinking about, but I have no experience with the brand. I’ll post a link below in case anyone wants to take a second and look and give me an opinion – if I get them, I will also have to decide between black or ginger… TIA!

      • Noelle

        I own a pair of Corso Como sandals. Comfortable and well-made. They run true to size, especially in terms of width.

        I don’t own any Corso Como boots, but I’m pretty sure I tried on this very pair at Nordstrom in the fall. If I’m remembering correctly, it was a really lovely boot (esp. in the ginger), but I couldn’t get the zipper up (athletic calves).

      • Another S

        No experience with that brand of boots, but if you want other options, they look very similar to the Ciao Bella riding boots that I have which are available on DSW’s website in regular and wide calf. I got two pairs (black and the lighter brown) two or three years ago and they’ve held up very well and are comfortable. DSW has free shipping and if you have a store near you, you can return them at the store for free.

        • Ellie

          I have a pair of Ciao Bella that looks exactly like the ones from DSW (but a slightly different model) and wear them every single day. Love.

      • Gooseberry

        just Karen, I ordered these exact boots in black and had to return then — MAJOR cankles. Now, I have bigger calves (i’m overall relatively slender, but have very wide calves), so maybe that didn’t help, but the boots were not specifically tight around my calves. I couldn’t quite pinpoint why the cankle thing was so salient, but it was!

      • just Karen

        Thank you all for the feedback! I may check out the Ciao Bella boots Another S suggested. I need to check 6pm’s return policy before taking the plunge anyway – returning boots by mail can get expensive!

    • In House Counsel

      I have these same boots in a dark brown. Very comfy and it seems well built. I have worn it with both tights/dresses as well as with skinny jeans tucked in. its a little baggier w/ the tights but not overly so.

      I usually either wear a 6.5 or 7 depending on brand and tend to wear 6.5 in corso como more often than not.

    • Rose in Bloom

      I have a pair of Corso Como Rocky boots (very similar, but I think are a Nordstrom “exclusive” to use their term) in the same ginger color, and I love them. The leather is a beautiful color and so soft. I like the ginger because I can wear it with anything; it looks good with black, navy, or brown.

      They are also incredibly comfortable, which I didn’t expect given that the inside doesn’t appear to have much support. As for the calves question, my pair I believe has ~ 14″ (maybe slightly more?) circumference, which on me is enough to comfortably fit jeans + thick socks.

    • RR

      I have a pair of Corso Como ankle boots with a 2″ heel. I find them to be very comfortable and well made.

    • Amy H.

      I have that exact pair, in ginger (regrettably bought full-price at Nordstrom!). I like them a lot. The leather is good quality. I have pretty athletic calves (16″ circumference) and I can still wear these with skinny jeans tucked in (the boots are size 9.5). I have not noticed any cankle problem — but now I’m paranoid so I’m going to put them on and check!

      Maybe I’ll have to get the black ones, for that sale price . . . .

    • coco

      I ordered both that pair and the Nordstrom pair – the Nordstrom pair is the “newer” version. The only difference between the two was the sole. I love mine – they are exactly what I’ve been looking for. I agree that they are a little looser in the ankles, but they do fit over my calves (I usually require between 15 1/2 and 16″), although a little snug with jeans.

      I believe they are also on Zappos – you can always order them from Zappos and then order them from 6pm if they are cheaper if you end up liking them. (I hate paying return shipping fees that much).

  16. ANON

    Callback interview question:

    Ladies, I’m getting called back for a second interview with the same small group of partners for a job I covet and am wondering what to wear to the second interview:

    For the first interview I work a black pant suit with a light peachy shell underneath – the black jacket had four buttons. My second interview is definitely with the exact same people as my first interview. Here are my choices:

    (1) black pencil skirt suit, different jacket with one button. And if so, neutral hose or dark hose? I’ll be wearing basic black pumps. And what color/type of top? I’m open to suggestions.

    (2) grey pant suit. This is a dark grey, and doesn’t look anything like my black pant suit. I’d wear it with black shoes and a dark top.

    In real life, I wear pantsuits 85% of the time. (Not that this helps). But I’m interested in what everyone thinks.

    • JessC

      Either sounds fine to me. Personally, I would probably go with the grey only because I tend to prefer grey over black since it’s less harsh. And since you already wore a black suit for the first interview, you won’t run the risk of feeling like you’re wearing virtually the same suit/outfit. For the pencil skirt – I don’t wear hose generally, but I tend to see dark vs. neutral hose as a seasonal thing. Call me crazy, but I think dark hose looks odd in warm weather. So I guess it would depend on what the weather is where you are (I’m in Florida and it’s about 80 degrees out right now).

    • AnonInfinity

      I think either suit is fine, and whatever blouse makes you feel most comfortable. I think the key in an interview is feeling put together and powerful, and whatever gets you there is good (within reason, but both of those suits seem to be professional).

      For hose — Do you mean dark hose that you can see through or tights? I would not wear dark hose, because those can be very sexy, at least on my very pale skin. Somehow they really emphasize the curve of my calf, to the point where I feel uncomfortable wearing them to work at all (let alone an interview). If it’s cold where you are, I’d think that tights could be okay, though they can seem less casual to me. But if it’s 12 degrees where you are, they would look much more practical. So, my default — unless it’s very cold — would be neutral hose.

    • MelD

      I disagree with AnonInfinity that dark hose are sexy. I don’t find them sexy at all and feel like they are better suited for winter than nude hose. I think you can probably wear a nice pastel top with the first outfit, if you look good in pastels. I would probably wear the gray one with a color too.

      • Gooseberry

        I agree with MelD. I understand in concept that dark hose can be sexy and/or “dressy,” but I always wear them with a dark gray or black suit for interviews and they have never seemed too dressy OR sexy in that context. (Though, yikes, maybe I’ve been wrong all along!)

    • Red

      I’d say skirt suit because I have never worn a pant suit to a law firm interview, but it’s a good point about wearing black again. I love black suits on me, but I don’t think I’ve ever worn a black suit to 2 interviews at the same place.

      I’m 26 and I never wear black hose, I’d def wear nude hose to an interview.

      As far as color top wear what flatters you (p.s. I would love to own a peach shell! I don’t look that great in most typical shell colors.) Blues and periwinkles look good with black. Pink or purple might seem too girly, only certain greens look good with black. I don’t think I’d do black and white to an interview, but possibly a cream. I actually do find it hard to find interview appropriate color tops to wear with black suits, as I prefer more statement colors.

    • MidLevel

      Either suit sounds fine. But if you do the skirt suit, wear nude hose. It’s the most conservative look.

  17. Margaret

    Maternity pants! Today is my first day wearing them, and can I just say that they are a life-changer. As in, I might wear them every day for the rest of my life, even after giving birth. They are elastic-waisted dress pants. Brilliant!

    • PHX

      I loved my maternity pants (at least in the beginning — toward the end, I just wanted to burn them)….so comfortable — it’s like you don’t even realize how uncomfortable you were in the old, non-maternity pants!

    • anon

      Congrats! That is how I feel about my belly band, cannot wrap my head around how amazing maternity pants will probably feel. I’m planning on shopping for some next weekend.

      BTW, I’m anon from yesterday’s TPS who asked ‘how soon is too soon for maternity pants?’ — thanks to everyone for their input!

      • Margaret

        I didn’t see your post yesterday, but I started doing belly band somewhere around week 10. I’m now at 13.5 and switched to maternity pants. I thought the belly band was great … these pants are 10x better.

    • Anon

      I loved them too! I seriously had to make myself give them away after my last baby because I wanted/was wearing them all the time!

    • Samantha

      Yup! When I finally wore them after several weeks of struggling with buttons and stretch bands over my old pants, I wondered why on earth people advise you to “stay in your non-maternity clothes as long as possible”! Maternity pants are so awesomely comfy, and really quite discreet as long as the elastic band isn’t too obvious.

  18. Bunkster

    I just discovered I’m wearing the same dress as another woman on the floor. And we’ve both styled it similarly. It’s a black tweed Talbots dress with grosgrain ruffled trim at the next. And we’re both wearing it with black cardigans. Heh.

  20. zora

    sigh, i’ve been lusting after this jacket for months… it used to be available in some muted colors, too, that were really nice, but I’m scared to look at the link, cause I don’t think I’ll be able to resist!

    I’m really loving the picks lately, Kat, thanks!!

  21. Ses

    Boston Corporettes! Our BostonCorporette Linkedin Group is meeting at The Vault at 7 PM tonight. The reservation is under Corporette

    I hope to see some of you there!

    • Bunkster

      Totally wish I could make it, but I just don’t think I can fit it in. Maybe the T will be running in my favor. Then I can get home, organize and get back into the city. A girl can dream.

    • TCFKAG

      I’m going to try to make it — I have to see how I feel at the end of the day!

  22. Boston Area Corporettes

    Previous post got moderated, so I’m trying again.

    Third Thursday (kicked to last Thursday for January) Corporette meet-up tonight at 7pm. Reservations are under “Corporette” at Vault B@r (105 Water Street Boston).

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