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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 192 Comments · by

Coffee Break: ‘Fleming’ Leather Shoulder Bag

Coffee Break

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Green Leather Shoulder Bag Tory BurchI love this green color! It just looks so classy and sophisticated — and I think you'll be surprised at how versatile a green bag can be. (The other color options are black and cream.) It currently has only six reviews, but they're all positive: The product page says “100% of reviewers recommended this product,” and one customer wrote that the lambskin is “ridiculously soft.” Nordstrom also has a small shoulder bag and a small convertible convertible shoulder bag. Tory Burch ‘Fleming' Leather Shoulder Bag This $48 green tote looks nice if you want a more affordable option. (L-all)

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
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  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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Comments

  1. Betty

    This year has been one of the hardest of my life for a myriad of personal reasons, and (election aside) I am hopeful that next year will be better. I want to send this year off and let go off all the hurt and bad and welcome a new year with open arms. The New Year is still a ways off, but I’d love to hear about any rituals or anything else about sending a bad year packing and turning toward better times ahead. What are your New Year’s rituals? Along the same lines any related book recommendations (biographies, how to books, or fiction)?

    • Anonymous

      I have a big glass jar. Every time something good happens to me throughout the year, no matter how small, I write a note with the date stating what happened (ex: today on the train someone complimented my outfit, today some teenagers outside of the were handing out flowers to everyone because they wanted to spread happiness, today I got promoted etc.) On the morning of December 31 I read all the notes from the year before and they make me happy and put me in a good frame of mind to start the new year. Most of the notes (outside big events like promotions) are about the little things that I might not have otherwise remembered. Reading them makes me feel really uplifted.

      • Newbie Associate

        My SO and I do something similar. At the beginning of the year, we write all of our hopes for the new year, our goals, dreams, things like “take a trip,” “graduate law school,” “pass the bar,” etc. and put them in a little jar. We open them on Jan. 1 of the next year and read, laugh, and cry over what we did, silly things we thought we’d do and realized we really did not want to do (for me, going to business school, haha), and we also make the ones for the new year.

        We also make the holidays very special, listen to a ton of holiday music, and sing Auld Lang Syne (badly-ish) at the end of every year. Being with loved ones (family or friends or whomever supports you) always makes a bad year into a great new year.

        • pugsnbourbon

          These are beautiful suggestions. I’m normally very Scrooge-y about the holidays, but this year I’m going to make an effort to appreciate and enjoy things about the season.

    • Sydney Bristow

      I like to re-read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin every December. Then I sit down and do an annual review where I look over the resolutions I had made for the year and how I did on them and the reasons why. Then I write a new set of resolutions. For the past couple of years, I’ve tried to pick a word or phrase to be my theme for the upcoming year.

      I had a rough year too, beginning with getting some bad health news about a family member around 11:45pm on New Year’s Eve last year. It unfortunately set a bad tone that carried over throughout much of the year. I’m looking forward to an emotional clean slate for 2017.

    • Anon 2

      Every year for the past three years, I have chosen one word to be my guiding principle in the coming year. The concept comes foe the book One Word That Will Change Your Life by Dan Britton.

    • Jax

      One very bad year, my husband and I lit a fire in our fireplace, wrote the things we went through on pieces of paper, then burned them in the fireplace. We poured wine, sat on a blanket in front of it, and read our papers out loud and discussed them a bit before burning. Since most of the bad year had to do with our marriage, it was a big healing and bonding moment. I’d love to do it again, but… Kids.

  2. Anonymous for this

    My younger sister enlisted in the military this summer. This morning she emailed a picture of herself holding a card that says ‘Proud to serve our new Commander-In-Chief. We’re not white. She just turned 18 this year and this election was the first one she could vote in. She didn’t vote for Trump and that brings me comfort but I still found the picture upsetting. My parents are other family members are so proud. It’s another upsetting thing on top of the election. I hope everyone is holding up as well as possible under the circumstances.

    • Anonymous

      I understand why you find it upsetting, but I also think you should try to empathize with her a bit. The President is her boss in a way that he is not the boss of civilians who are not employed by the federal government. We’ve all had terrible bosses who did things we disagreed with, and yet we still put on a supportive face publicly so we won’t get fired. Granted, the average bullying boss is a far cry from the president-elect, but I still see this is as sort of an extension of that. The military is also very conservative, so I imagine she’s under a lot of peer pressure to openly support him.

      • Anonymous for this

        In the email she told my parents that she he can do a lot of good. And my mother says my sister admitted to me that she held her nose and voted for Hillary because I badgered her so much and she wishes she paid more attention. So I don’t know how much is her under pressure and how much is her own making but I’m a bit scared for my sister.

        • MDMom

          I mean…she’s 18. She’s a grown woman entitled to her own opinion. At the same time, her world and life experience is fairly limited at this point (though it sounds like that’s about to change). I would view this the same way you would if she got an ill advised tattoo or something like that. She might grow to change her mind or regret it, she might not. Continue to express your views of course, but give her the space to become her own person, express her own views, and make her own mistakes.

    • Jen

      Good for her. Are you really suggesting she should hold a sign saying “f-the President”? As civilians we have a lot more leeway but active service members report to the commander in chief.

      • ELS

        I don’t think that’s what she was suggesting.

        I think she was suggesting that her sister volunteered that she is proud (maybe excited?) to serve a man who ran on a platform that is really terrifying for a large segment of the population (her demographic probably included).

        My brother is an active duty service member. He didn’t email me such a photo. He didn’t hold any signs. He texted me some things about his fears.

        No one asked her to hold the sign, is what she’s saying.

        • Ellen

          We all work for people who run our offices. The top person in my office, so I work for the manageing partner. If you work in the militery, the top person is the President and Comander in Chief, so he is the manageing partner for them. I say we MUST respect the vote, b/c that is why we are a democreacy. FOOEY on people who protested the election. I would have prefered to see things differently, but it is what it is, so we just need to say FOOEY and move on and respect the peeople’s choice. YAY!!!!!

    • ml

      So you say she just joined over the summer, which means she is freshly out of basic training right now. I can tell you from personal experience that that environment (and probably her initial training school as well, depending on her specialty) is like one giant pep rally for your branch of service and for truth, justice, and the American way. Except the majority of the people at the pep rally are 18 year olds from Trump’s core constituency in the rust belt. I am not denigrating at all, and many of these people are intelligent and will go on to become highly educated and gain a more nuanced understanding of the world, but basic training isn’t where that happens. I’d ascribe a lot of your sister’s sentiments to that environment. Don’t despair!

  3. Jules

    This may be too late in the day, but in light of recent events, I am trying to think of ways to channel all my liberal rage into something productive. I really don’t have any money to donate (as if I disclosed my financial state on here I would likely be directed to immediately begin subsisting on ramen noodles), but I would like to do something with my time. Any ideas for organizations that I could join or volunteer for? I generally disagree with the entirety of the republican platform, but the issues I am particularly concerned about include women’s rights/reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights/marriage equality, climate change, and immigration. I’m also considering getting more involved with my local/state democratic party but I am a bit hesitant given the nature of local politics around here. I’m an attorney, but in a quasi-governmental role, making pro bono work a little tricky. Any thoughts?

    • mascot

      Pretty much anything? Local chapter for riverkeeper or whatever environmental conservation group there is, a shelter or crisis center that deals with sexual assault or domestic violence, mentoring students, bullying prevention, working with organizations that support refugees…

      • Jax

        Start small, start local. How about joining your local Rotary? I joined my branch this year, and while I dislike some of the shmoozy networking and I started to feel like the meetings were just a chance for local business men to get together and humblebrag…

        …they do have their finger on almost every local charity program in my area. I learned about a totally free summer camp for special needs kids, an employment program providing busing into a higher-paying town so our unemployed here can find work there, and a program at our local schools to provide food for kids over the weekends and holiday breaks.

        The school program really touched my heart, because elementary school teachers are slipping easy-to-make, non-perishable foods (think Easy Mac, diced fruit containers, breakfast bars) into backpacks of needy kids while the class is on the playground because they need something they can grab and heat up on their own or THEY MAY NOT EAT. This week, I decided to spearhead an initiative at my company to raise money and food for this specific program. I’m making flashy donation boxes and set up a group of people to help collect and deliver the food and money. It feels good to say, “You know, this election really sucked, but I can do something right here and now to help the people around me.”

        • Laura B

          This! I’m a member of the local Lions club because that’s the big organization in my town. I’m the youngest by about 20-30 years, but I really enjoy working them. We raise and donate a lot of money to all sorts of causes, and it’s definitely the way to be plugged into the volunteerism community here.

    • Shopaholic

      I don’t have a more specific suggestion but I was talking to a couple friends about this last night. There’s a picture making its way around the web showing how 18-25 year olds voted (mostly blue states) and we thought that was the answer… work in a way to engage the younger generation. That’s the only real hope.

      Mentor young people, mentor immigrant kids, mentor young women and make it clear that just because the president brags about s3xual assault and ranks women on a scale of 1-10, they are smart and worthy and will be the future.

    • Liberals Making A Difference During this Time

      You can volunteer with an organization in your state to help transgender people change their names on documents/markers, get a passport, etc.

      You can also help staff clinics or phone banks for DACA students/young people and other immigrants who have questions about the future. (What I’m currently doing.)

      You can also get involved with spreading the word about getting an IUD/bc/annuals/physicals, everything basically, before the new administration happens.

      In solidarity with you! Equally as angry, but fired up to make a difference.

    • Jules, too

      Great thoughts, and excellent responses.

      But I’ve been Jules on this site for several years – would you mind getting a different screen name?

      In solidarity in more ways than one. ;)

    • Jules, too

      Reposting because of using the phrase “this s*te” . . .

      These are good thoughts, and great responses so far. But I’ve been Jules here for several years; would you mind using a different screen name? Thanks.

      In solidarity in more ways than one. ;)

    • Kate

      I just signed up to work with an organization that teaches English to refugees and other immigrants. I think a lot of these are local by city.

    • Anon

      Just a thought…

      From HuffPo today: The Electoral College was Designed to Protect us from Trump. You Can Make this Happen.

      “If you honor the Founding Fathers — and the Constitution — then you will insist upon employing the emergency measures coded into the very definition of the republic.

      So, how do you accomplish this? The process is simple: write to Republican electors in states that went red, and beg them to vote their conscience. You can download a template for a short petition — a joint letter from you and your colleagues — on this site. The complete list of relevant electors can be found here, with contact information: United States presidential electors, 2016.

      I’m urging everyone to do this: not simply Democrats, but responsible Republicans. Modern history has witnessed few events more admirable than bipartisan efforts to thwart racist demagoguery: most recently in France, when decent people on the left and the right combined — despite their mutual loathing — to prevent the election of Marine Le Pen.

      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/douglas-anthony-cooper/the-electoral-college-was_b_12897066.html

    • Anonymous

      Join the local ACLU and the NAACP. Total of 50 or 60 bucks. And go to the meetings.

  4. Amanda

    This article (link below) really spoke to me. Especially this part:

    “What white progressives can and must pursue is outreach to Trump’s white base. One of the killer robot’s main fuels is white supremacy. But human beings are complex and inscrutable and sometimes change. If just 20 percent of the white supremacy could be neutralized, the robot might be much less powerful.”

    While I know that some of my friends and family (ugh!) that voted for Trump are hateful people, I just can’t believe that they all are! I want to start discussions with them in hopes that they understand why the liberals are so fearful.

      • CHS

        I read this too and thought it was great. I’m printing these out and planning on trying to do something, even if very small, every day for the next 1460 days.

    • Brunchaholic

      I think this is a great sentiment, and you can call me cynical, but I have not found the type of people that need this type of outreach to be open to receiving it at all. At ALL.

      Some personal thoughts: DH is from the midwest and for years I have struggled deeply with his friends and relatives processing that not everyone in the world is exactly like them- even without politics entering the arena at all! They genuinely have no recognition that my east coast upbringing was different even when it comes to trivial things like me not recognizing grocery store chains around where they live. Add the fact that I’m a minority, and the mind immediately just does. not. compute.

      I am kind, I try very hard to engage them (sometimes in politically-adjacent, but mostly non-political) discussions without antagonizing them (i.e. keeping a smile in the face of some really horrendously ignorant statements). It’s overwhelmingly unsuccessful. Pointing out a differing viewpoint is met with extreme defensiveness. Very extreme. And as tempted as you might be to assume that maybe my delivery was the issue, just entertain the notion that maybe it’s not my delivery at all. I love these people. I consider them my friends. But it’s been very hard. It’s very frustrating that while I have made huge efforts to learn about their backgrounds, way of life, interests, etc., the favor has not even remotely been returned. There’s is an utter lack of any interest in understanding my perspective. And this is WITHOUT bringing politics into the discussion!

      I thought I would offer my perspective. Understanding and connecting with the “heartland” as a “coastal elite” or whatever has been really central to my life for the past 10 years. I just think I might be able to offer a perspective of someone who has been trying in earnest to fight the good fight. It’s been a process that has hurt me often. But hey – I’ll keep at it. :)

      • MDMom

        Well, for what it’s worth, thank you for fighting the good fight. I hope you have had a bigger impact on them than you think (though maybe not as big as you hope).

      • I'm not the one in the bubble

        My husband is from a mid-sized city in the midwest, and this has been my experience (also a minority).

        His friends are all educated (at least some college, if not graduate school), ‘nice’ folks. But they just can’t wrap their heads around people who have different experiences than than do. I really think it’s the result of living in the same 100 mile radius their whole lives. Heck, my husband is the same way — he didn’t leave that area until his mid-40s.

        The one exception out of his friends are the family who is very well traveled (and the only liberals among the group).

        A friend posted this on FB today, and it really summed up my feelings about the whole thing.

        http://www.rollcall.com/news/opinion/im-a-coastal-elite-from-the-midwest-the-real-bubble-is-rural-america

        • An.on

          I am a minority who grew up in a big coastal city, and had the same experience when moving to a small Midwestern city. It was clear that so many people there had lived their all their lives, some for generations, and had little concept of the different realities other people experience. Even my coworkers with international travel experience (western Europe) and master’s degrees exhibited these attitudes. The lack of exposure to other ways of life in these environments is quite clear.

  5. Donate

    Similar to previous questions I’ve read on how to channel rage into something productive… what are the causes that are for women’s rights, voter rights, etc? I hopefully will be in a position soon when I can donate $500-$1000, and I think it’s more effective to do this for one org vs spreading it out in a bunch of smaller donations.

    Here are the list I came up off the top of my head…

    EMILY’s List
    Planned Parenthood
    ACLU
    Southern Law conference?
    Anything else I should look into?

    • Babyweight

      Equal Justice Initiative. eji dot org.

      I did some pro bono work for them and was very impressed at their abilities and reach. So much work to be done.

    • Anonymoose

      On Planned Parenthood, consider whether you want to donate to the national organization, which focuses more on policy, to your local health care center, which actually provides services to patients, or to Advocates, which is their PAC. Depending on where you are located, there also maybe a Young Friends arm that does targeted projects.

      I know that in many areas a donation of $1,000 to the PAC or to the Women’s Leadership Circle of the local entitles you to attend events during the year (locally we have had Anna Quindlen, Dr. Ruth, Katha Politt, and a number of other interesting people plus CLE as part of the legislative/judicial report) but note also that the PAC donations are not tax deductible.

    • Anon_sad

      Legal Aid already gets my monthly United Way donation.

      ACLU got my first Trump donation. There will be many more. Working on the list, but does anyone know good groups that help refugees? And not the IRC, please.

  6. Just a small town girl

    Picking up the “why don’t they just move” question from this morning. Can we have a discussion about what the future of small towns in America is like realistically? Or should be? I’m not talking about suburbs or small towns 20-30 minutes from metropolitan areas. I’m talking about towns that are 1.5-3 hours from the closest cities, closest airports, closest universities. There are towns across America that are aging and crumbling, and we have no plan for them except what, to have everyone move to the city or a coast? I’m sad for these places that a century or half century ago were bustling, productive, healthy places to live. There’s gotta be room for something between our cities and our National Parks. We need to think more creatively about solutions for the places in between. Is it tech? Is it bringing back small businesses? Farming? Any ideas?

    • Anonymous

      It makes me sad because my mom is from a small town in the Midwest. It was 300 people when she grew up in the 50s. Her graduating HS class was the entire county, and there were 12 grads. Today, she and all her siblings except 1 have left. The town is under 100. There are no jobs. They were farmers, but you can’t make a living doing that anymore.

      I don’t know what the answer is, except it makes me sad to think that people all have moved away, and I literally haven’t been back in years. I spent summers there as a kid with my grandparents, who both passed in the early 90s. My husband would like to go if for no other reason than visiting my grandparents’ graves, but there is nothing.there.at.all. It takes 3 planes to get there, and we’d have to drive an hour and a half to a hotel, and…that way of life has vanished.

      • Jeffiner

        I grew up in a similar area. I understand that you can’t make money farming anymore, but I don’t know why. We still need food, and farmers. Is it farm subsidies? Taxes? The cost of fertilizer, water, animal feed?

        Some of the other businesses in my hometown were the furniture factory, the clothing factory, and logging. The factories are closed now.

        I saw a discussion once about how thanks to technology, people could live anywhere and still do a lot of jobs. But even if those towns had high-speed internet (which a lot don’t), people said they wouldn’t live there because there were no museums, theaters, shopping, etc. Technology may make people want to live in the country, and there may be some form of rural gentrification, with restaurants, shops, and yoga studios opening up for the tech people. Hopefully that doesn’t increase the cost of living so much that the current residents can’t afford to live there.

        • Anon

          Is it because of the nature of the industrialized farm system were producers are practically enslaved to big corporations and can’t really make any decisions about what happens to their animals or how to run their operation? I think most farmers now work on contract to one big company and that big company has lots of power. For example, “if you don’t upgrade your facility to xyz standard, we will not continue to buy from you, etc.”

          • CountC

            Yes, that is the reason. It’s about the poultry industry, primarily, but The Meat Racket is a fascinating look at the way Tyson (the actual man Tyson) shaped the poultry, and subsequently beef and pork, industries.

            I suspect, although I am not 100% certain, that crop farming has a similar model. At least as similar as you can get with crops bs animals.

          • Anon

            Yes, because I believe crop producers also have contracts from seed distributors (for example) who then force them to buy other products from them and strictly regulate their operations.

          • nutella

            That is a big part of it.

            Another part it from an industry standpoint is that to be a successful farmer, you need at least 1,000 acres of land and sometimes upwards of like 6,000. (And you want it with good soil that is contiguous, ideally.) With machinery, you might own all this land with just one other person and hire maybe 6 seasonal helpers. That’s it! It can be a lucrative for those 1-2 that own the land but it’s why it isn’t as widespread and when you have a few children, only 1 or 2 can take on the farm (or else break it up and lose profitability) and the others need to go find other jobs or other farms.

          • Anon_sad

            John Oliver had a great episode about the poultry industry that I would recommend checking out. Similar practices are everywhere.

            The seed companies have patented their seeds, so farmers can’t legally regrow from seeds from their product, but have to rebuy at their exorbitant prices every year. If they don’t, they are subject to huge penalties.

            Small farmers have to compete against corporate-owned farms that can create economies of scale through owning tens of thousands of acres and hiring illegal immigrants for cheap cheap wages (yes, I know small farmers also do that, but when you can scale it up and use it to farm the huge fields, it creates an insurmountable price difference).

            I’m sure there’s a million other examples I don’t know about.

    • Anonymous

      I grew up in rural Wisconsin, went to the university in Madison, and then left the state. I saw a Facebook friend complaining about Wisconsin expats complaining about the state going red this year saying that they had all left for liberal cities.

      But I would have stayed in Madison, except there aren’t enough good jobs for the thousands of students graduating every year who would like to stay. We talked about brain drain in the state all the time while I was a student. With the exception of Jim Doyle, the governorship has been Republican there for decades, and I often wondered if it was a political decision to keep out good jobs that might be filled by well-educated people who might change the electoral math or if it was just incompetence on their part.

      I often heard from my dad that many of the owners of manufacturing businesses in our small town specifically tried to keep out other businesses that might compete for their low-wage labor.

      I’m not sure what the solution is. Ultimately, industry in these towns requires investment from somewhere. Business owners, cities, governments. In a bigger city I could see co-ops forming to launch a small business, but I don’t think there is the know-how to pull off something like that where I’m from.

      • Kate

        Just moved to Wisconsin so I was interested to see this, and I’ve read about brain drain as a concern too. I think you need to offer more than tax breaks to get businesses that offer well-paying jobs to locate in an area. Good schools for people’s kids would be a major one. Cultural offerings is another although you can’t fault MKE and Madison on that.

      • Anonymous

        I also grew up in kind-of-rural Wisconsin (Wausau–which has a regional airport and a few Starbucks–so not quite rural).

        Honestly, the jobs in Wausau, Marshfield, Wisconsin Rapids, Shawano, Antigo, Marathon, etc. are just not there. The paper mills got bought up and closed. Eastbay was bought out. Family farms turned into factory farms. Wausau still has the Kraft cheese plant, 3M (down-sized), a down-sized Wausau Paper, Kolbe & Kolbe Windows (barely afloat), and Greenheck. The only job growth I see is in the area hospitals caring for retirees. This is not a sustainable growth strategy.

        When I graduated school, I couldn’t return home to begin a professional career. The nearest (and still rare) job opportunities were in Milwaukee, Chicago, and Minneapolis/St. Paul. That is where most of my friends who went to school ended up.

        I do think the very small cities are going to disappear eventually. Just north of Wausau there was a company town that was nearly deserted after the mill closed. The county eventually paid the remaining residents (<20 people) to relocate elsewhere.

        I think small cities that are regional centers (like Wausau) will have to absorb people moving in from the surrounding communities (like Marathon, Athens, Hatley) as they close and the county can no longer justify the costs associated with those communities. This really bums me out. People should be able to settle in rural communities if they want to.

    • Anon

      Read the Cracked article “How Half of America Lost its F-ing Mind” and then read “The 5 Worst Things about Getting a Job in a Small Town”. I grew up in a town 3 hours from the nearest ANYTHING with a population of 5000.

      These communities have seen generations of no investment. You’re talking kids, parents, and grandparents with a very sub-par high school education. I was in the “advanced math” class and made it through very very basic Trigonometry by senior year. Home values are in the toilet – those who are lucky enough to own are looking at a sale value of $50K, if that. Jobs are completely non-existent, and the ones that do exist are minimum wage. My cousin drives 45 min each way to work as a Walmart cashier. A sizable chunk of her paycheck goes to gas and car maintenance due to the commute. Farming is now a game of economies of scale – the small family-owned farms no longer exist. A combine (the machine that harvests the crops from a field) costs half a million dollars, just to buy, let alone all the upkeep and maintenance and storage.

      I don’t know what the answer is, but these people have no resources, no prospects, and no viable path to lift themselves out. They are fiercely independent and see handouts as failure, so the solution has to be something that comes from within.

      Raising the level of education has to be a large part of the start, which means grants and investments so teacher salary isn’t linked to property values, and good teachers are incentivized to go rural instead of mega-suburb. But then there has to be some kind of industry that creates local jobs and pays well, but isn’t victim to giant economies of scale. Technology and jobs that can be done “from home” are one option. Satellite offices for low-but-important-skilled work like call centers and inside sales can be another option.

    • Anon

      Welcome doomsday preppers looking to live independently/interdependently in small communities far away from urban areas?

    • Anonymous

      One thing to consider is the size of companies. Currently, there is a significant advantage to being a very large company, and a large multi-national. The benefit of those advantages flow mostly to senior management and shareholders, however. The

      One thing very large companies can do is practice tax avoidance, and lower their overall tax rate. Small to medium sized companies do much less tax avoidance (too busy running their business, not enough scale, can’t afford the expensive tax advisors) and so are at a competitive disadvantage.

      So, one solution is to make corporate taxes, specifically federal, applied more equitably. If you can begin to even the playing field, then smaller companies have a much better chance. And — smaller companies want to be in smaller place for the lower costs.

    • Anon

      On a more personal note, it is quite difficult socially to move to a small community, especially if you are different. Are locals desperate enough to stretch their comfort levels? Insularity generally does not work long-term. For example, Japan would prefer to use technology to handle the dwinding population rather than allow an increase in immigration.

      • Anonymous

        Japan is a very interesting case for America to look at right now.

        Towns and villages in rural Japan have had declining populations and disappearing industries for decades now. While immigration and drugs are not issues here, rural economic revitalization has been a policy focus for the last ten or twenty years. There is some cool stuff going on. Look up Kamiyama town in Tokushima prefecture or the Oki Islands for examples on how to use tech and community development to bring jobs back to rural areas.

    • MDMom

      I don’t know, honestly, but this is a really interesting discussion that I think needs to be had at a national level. I grew up in an pretty small exurb of a city (an unglamorous one). Even there, there aren’t a lot of jobs and most of the people I went to high school with who went to college left for the closer in suburbs or other metro areas. What remains are mostly less educated, less skilled people who live with their parents and struggle to find reliable work. There is a lot of drug use. So I can imagine the areas you talk about experience that to an extreme degree. I don’t know the answer, but very good question.

    • Anon

      I currently live in a “small town” – population 3,000, 1.25 hours from “city big enough to have a mall and a Target”. I love where I live! I know my neighbors, we don’t lock our doors 100% of the time, I have 2 minute drive to my office. My community is bustling with small businesses, small manufacturing plants, 0% unemployment (in fact, too many jobs, not enough workers), great schools (offering college level courses to HS students), low crime, and opportunities for all. I will admit that the small town limits the diversity we experience, but if you’re willing to work hard, show up on time and be respectful, you can always be respected in return. There are lots of small towns like mine that I think feel like we don’t get enough credit. Come move here! You will get a fair shot!!!

      • Anon

        Where is this small town? This sounds nothing like any small town I’m aware of in Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin, Missouri, or Ohio.

  7. Anonymous

    I know a lot of people here are having a hard time with the election, but does anyone else feel like people are overreacting? I feel like I can’t be the only one…

    A lot of people say they cried all morning yesterday. Colleges cancelled classes and exams and (according to the WSJ) offered play doh, coloring books, hot chocolate, and therapy dogs to help students with their disappointment and “grief”.

    Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t vote for Trump; I don’t like him; and I vehemently disagree with everything he has to say about women, race, disability, etc. I am an Arab-American woman and my mother identifies as lesbian. We’ve pulled ourselves together from the shock (because like everyone else we WERE shocked) and moved on. Can someone help me understand why everyone is so emotional? The decision is what it is. We can’t change it at this point, and I don’t understand the need for tears and drama.

      • Anonymous

        I agree 1000%. It’s unfortunate that Trump won but politics ebbs and flows. A lot of these drama queens sound awfully young. Maybe it’s the first time they were really invested in a cause or candidate and it didn’t happen.That is life. Sometimes things don’t work out your way. I’m old enough to remember Nixon (ancient) and we survived him. Trump too shall pass and America will remain intact.

      • Anony

        Totally agree. Like I asked this morning, why do people say LGBT people should be nervous? There was no answer except Pence. Then I saw people saying that women are buying four years’ worth of birth control right now. Like, what??? Has he ever said anything about restricting birth control?? If you’re worried about Hobby Lobby, that’s already the case. I’m sure his daughter is on birth control. ANd then people will say “This is why we’re worried. Women are buying four years’ worth of bc.” But they’re worried for no reason and so they are our reason to be so worried??

        It’s all very confusing to me. And as a Republican who didn’t vote for Trump, I actually think he may end up being an inclusive, centrist president. We shall see. I could be wrong. And he clearly needs to watch his tongue so people don’t feel so much hate, etc. But policy-wise, I think he might be an okay president.

        • Anonymous

          LOL. He has no “policies” beyond deporting Mexicans, rounding up Muslims and building a wall. How is that okay?

          • Anonymous

            Don’t forget destroying the planet by removing all funding for climate change and eliminating or drastically reducing the EPA.

          • Anony

            No, for sure. I don’t like him. He has no policies. For sure. But we can’t be like oh my gosh, he’s going to take away my right to eat strawberries!

        • Midwest Mama

          I think the BC thing is because he says he will repeal the ACA, which means a lot of people will lose health care coverage and presumably coverage for their BC. Some people with pre-existing conditions may then find it hard, if not impossible, to find suitable alternate coverage. We’ve been TTC for over a year now and I’m sad thinking if the ACA is repealed, my br@st pump wouldn’t be covered. Those things are expensive!

          • mascot

            I don’t think there will be a wholesale repeal of the ACA. There’s just too much of it to unwind and I think almost all people can agree that some parts are fundamentally good. Neither side wants to see millions of people suddenly lose health coverage. People don’t want to see hospitals close. It’s going to take some time to figure out how to replace programs to keep those parts in place. It doesn’t happen overnight.

          • Anony

            Yeah, and maybe there is a kernel of truth to it, but I have seen so many people post it who won’t be affected by a repeal of the ACA (except that their premiums will go way down, lol).

          • Anonymous

            I’m also TTC and sad my breast pump won’t be covered. Not because of the money itself – I buy plenty of frivolous things that cost more – but just because of the symbolism of it. It was such a huge step forward to see so many healthcare things that are unique to women FINALLY get covered.

          • Anonymous

            But the issue, Mascot, is that the ACA is held together very carefully (and maybe unsuccessfully as it is) with provisions that are intertwined. So undoing just parts of it can cause the whole thing to collapse.

          • mascot

            And trying to keep the whole thing from collapsing (from a legal or economic perspective) because someone pulled the wrong thread is exactly why it will take time to work through.

        • Anonymous

          Ha ha. He has no “policies” of his own, except hate, but he’s surrounded himself by some of the most right-wing people in the Republican party, will make some of the most fringe agency appointments in a generation, has an extremely conservative Republican Congress and the Republican party platform that was adopted this year at the convention is the opposite of centrist. Who the h*ll knows what Trump himself actually believes. But make no mistake, his administration is going to be the opposite of moderate.
          (And nobody is suggesting he or Congress is going to ban birth control. They’re going to repeal the ACA, which mandates the insurance cover birth control, so birth control will no longer be free. That’s why people are saying get IUDs now, so you can save $1000, not because you won’t have access to them come January).

          • M

            Wait, who gets free birth control? Mine is more expensive than ever, despite the use of a discount card that my doctor gave me. Since ACA, not only have my premiums gone up, but so have co-pays, prescriptions, and out-of-pocket costs.

        • Gail the Goldfish

          Re birth control, I think the suggestions were specifically for IUDs, which are super expensive if you pay out of pocket but are covered under Obamacare. The theory is if you’re going to lose your coverage because Trump is going to push to repeal Obamacare, get your birth control that’s good for a decade now so you don’t have to pay a small fortune for it.

        • yes

          It’s not ok. The man is a complete wild card because of his lack of thought-out policy. But, like… we knew this. We knew he could win just as easily as her (and if you didn’t, you live in a bubble and don’t have a clue what’s going on in Middle America). I am extremely upset HRC didn’t win, but it’s done – she lost. The extent to which people are reacting is eye roll worthy. We honest to god have NO IDEA what this man is going to do.

          But you know what? Stop being paralyzingly upset. Just stop. Look to the future. This election result is a side effect of democracy – democracy is messy but, good lord, democracy also makes checks and balances, and affords us a midterm election in just two years (campaigns for which will probably begin before the paint is dry in the WH residence on inauguration day). The more dramatic the reactions from HRC supporters, the further moderate-ish Trump supporters will roll eyes and move further to the right. Now is the time to demonstrate resilience and commitment, not drown in dramatics about an outcome that cannot be changed. Focus on 2018. Make one of the chambers blue. / rant.

          • nasty woman

            Mmmm let me try to find the words to describe just how much I love being told how to feel and what to think and how to properly express my emotions. *Eyeroll*

            It’s been two freaking days. Let people experience their emotions. I’m glad people care so much. That means they’ll do something. See everyone’s comments here about how they can get involved and make a difference.

            Checks and balances? What do you think is going to happen to the Supreme Court? Do we have a democratic majority in Congress? This is part of the reason people are so alarmed.

            I truly cannot understand why I am being told to sit down and shut up about this.

          • Amanda

            Thank you, nasty woman! I agree with this.

            I do hope people are overreacting, but I am definitely alarmed!

        • Anonymous

          “Like I asked this morning, why do people say LGBT people should be nervous? There was no answer except Pence.”

          This is false. There were were actually several answers besides Pence, including the Republican party platform that he adopted and the fact that he re-tweets people and organizations that have a mission of attacking the LGBT community and reversing the marriage equality ruling.

          And anyway, given that he has declared his intent to hand governing over to his VP and top advisers, I see no reason that “Pence” is not a perfectly good answer.

          • Anonymous

            And the fact that he will potentially have several Supreme Court nominees and has chosen extremely conservative Justices who will likely want to reverse Obergefell. Anyone in a same-sex marriage should worry that their marriage will no longer be recognized by the government. Not on the day he takes office or on the day he appoints Scalia’s replacement, but on the day the first Supreme Court justice who was in the majority on that decision dies, and they can go 5-4 the other way. And given that a couple of them are in their 80s, it’s not an unrealistic fear.

          • Julia

            And the fact that his daughter’s “revolutionary” parental leave policy provides for leave exclusively for women who give birth.

        • Anon_sad

          Maybe check the articles about the uptick in hate crimes in the last 48 hours?

    • Anonymous

      People react differently, and we need to collectively respect that. Some people are, IMO, legit scared because of where they live. If you lived in an area where people have been attacked or the KKK are rallying, it would be reasonable to fear for your safety with the racists emboldened. If you’re a victim of domestic or sexual assault, its reasonable to fear that the president himself is an abuser.

      • Because intolerance became socially acceptable?

        I wasn’t the one who posted the story yesterday, but a commenter posted that her husband was out buying things from the corner shop and someone followed him, jumped in front of his car, and yelled “TRUMP” loudly. I believe her husband is Mexican. This seems like a legitimate reason for people to be scared.

    • Anonymous

      +1

      I think he was the wrong choice for so, so many reasons. It concerns me deeply that we’ll have an all red fed. But people who say he is “not my president” are doing the same thing he was doing when he went on and on about how liberals/democrats were trying to rig the election.

      We will survive this. It’s going to be OK.

      • Anonymous

        “But people who say he is “not my president” are doing the same thing he was doing when he went on and on about how liberals/democrats were trying to rig the election.”

        NO. No they are not. Nobody (that I know at least) is saying that the election was rigged or that he didn’t legitimately win the electoral college. Nobody is questioning how votes were counted or saying there was voter fraud, which was what he was saying pre-election. Saying “he’s not my president” is simply saying that he doesn’t represent you and you do not support him. And since Hillary won the popular vote, he actually is not the president chosen by the people and there’s nothing wrong with saying it.

    • JayJay

      Yes. It’s privileged in itself to have the ability to be this upset about a free and fair election.

    • Anonymous

      Why isn’t this grief and anger valid to you? This is a deeply upsetting and scary time.

      • Scarlett

        +1 – how dare anyone tell people to settle down. It is deeply disturbing that Trump has been elected after a campaign trading in hate. There is no telling what he will do or be able to do, and the fear and upset people have is completely valid. This is not a calm down moment.

    • Anonymous

      I posted before about my experience voting- five cars screamed trump at me, one yelled “trump or else” right in my face. My husband who is a teacher saw awful behavior aimed at his minority students. here is a link to some of the experiences people are having in the country https://twitter.com/i/moments/796417517157830656

      • School Administrator

        My minority students have had a number of nasty comments lobbed at them (some I heard of today included “you’ll be gone soon”, “glad we won’t have to deal with Mexicans anymore”, “I can’t wait for the KKK to come back”). Imagine hearing that as a 14 year old. It’s frightening.

    • Anonymous

      I agree. I didn’t vote for Trump, I have NO love for him and I’m heartbroken that Hillary Clinton didn’t win. But coloring books and therapy dogs? Really? I’ve said it before that college students especially need to her over the notion of safe spaces. There’s no such thing in the real world and no one will coddle them there. I was upset and still am but the world didn’t stop. People could just hide under their blankets and cry. They have jobs and responsibilities. Classes should not have been cancelled and brining in therapy digs and other stuff like that is just nonsense.

      • Anonymous

        Pushing back on this a bit. Did coloring books and therapy dogs for college students actually happen? I’ve seen news about how younger kids are scared for their parents, but not college kids.

        I do think college is different than real life. Your brain is still developing, you’re away from home for the first time, and you are in an intense pressure cooker of obtaining your education. If you fail, the stakes are higher-you could be unenrolled or lose a scholarship and have to drop out. If you fail at work, you presumably have a degree to fall back on and use to secure another job. I do think college students need more support to make sure they get their education complete versus me, as an adult, needing support to ensure I keep my job. Its very different.

        • 2014 grad

          I don’t know if it happened or not, but I know my college brought in therapy dogs to the library basically anytime anything happened. Oh it’s midterm test week? Therapy dogs. The football team lost? Therapy dogs. The president of the University is retiring? Therapy dogs. Personally, I think they just like having the dogs around, and the handlers would pass out information about counseling services. I think they use it more as an excuse to get those students that might be struggling more or might be more prone to anxiety to seek appropriate help. Also it was really nice being able to hug a fluff ball when you’re away from home missing your own fluff.

          I agree 100% that college kids are too coddled, but teaching college kids appropriate techniques to deal with anxiety and stress is a good thing, not a bad one. Colouring books are just another technique like meditation. I get it; safe spaces drive me insane though. Maybe it’s because I’m not typically considered a minority (although I am atheist so….) but I don’t understand them and their usefulness in preparing students for the real world.

          • Lana

            Sometimes the “therapy dogs” aren’t actually trained therapy dogs. At my school, they were dogs that were up for adoption. I think they brought them as much for the students as for the dogs (for socialization and potential adoptions). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with bringing those dogs to campus as often as the school and dog organizations would like. I definitely spent some extra time hugging my dog yesterday and today. I don’t know why it helps, but it does.

          • Anon

            Open spaces are not at all useful in preparing students for the real world. They’re useful in helping students work through their daily lives.

            If you have a hard day at work, maybe some guy harassed you, do you want to go home and have your spouse/roommate/whoever ask you why you wore that? Why you didn’t stand up for yourself? No, you want to be supported. Why aren’t college students, whose brains are still developing and realistically need more support, allowed that?

            I do think that, if overused, they have the potential to insulate students from the real world, but given the high use of social media/podcasts/news outlets I don’t think that’s a real problem for the vast majority of the collegiate population.

    • Sydney Bristow

      I’ll get there. I cried yesterday because I’m scared and was shocked. I’m feeling better and more prepared to move forward today, but I’m still upset and processing. I think people just need some time to get it together.

      • Liberals Making A Difference During this Time

        This particularly true for those of us living in the bright red areas, in Southern states, or not in purple/blue cities within those states.

    • anon

      Last night, I went to a meeting at my church. ~ 25% of our members are undocumented. There were tears, hugs, some people who could barely find their voice to speak – these are people I consider to be my family. The ones who moved me the most were the pre-teens/teenagers, who are old enough to see some of the possible implications of this election (will they be sent off to a land they’ve never seen, rife with poverty and violence?), but not yet old enough to understand why such a large proportion of the citizens of our country hate them so much. Not so easy for everyone to dust it off and move on, though I’m glad you could find the internal strength to do so.

      • Liberals Making A Difference During this Time

        I have cried with so many DACA holders. Some of them are choosing to postpone school because they need to use their work permits for as long as they can to make money legally. They are so scared and some are so distraught that the government now has an official list of their family members and where they live.

        • Anon

          Hmm…I know many children of legal immigrants who came here when they were two or three years old who don’t have a green card after turning 18 (because their parents are in the line for green card for more than a decade and these children are on their parent’s green card application).They had to go back to their home countries when they turned 18 to get a student visa for college(on which you can work only on campus jobs for a maximum of 20 hours per week unlike DACA),pay out of state tuition as they are foreign students, complete their education, stand in line again for a green card for
          God knows how many more decades. They are in this state because Dems held legal immigration reform hostage till a path for legalization of undocumented immigrants.

          Just another perspective…

    • nasty woman

      So here’s why I’m so emotional. Someone said this on one of yesterday’s threads:

      “I’ve just been told that the “pain” and “suffering” of high school educated working class white men is more valid than the centuries of collective pain and humiliation suffered by women, minorities, immigrants, the disabled … now that WHITE people feel disenfranchised, it’s suffering worth addressing.”

      This really sums it up. I was truly excited to have a woman president. Really and truly. It means a whole lot to me. The glass ceiling, sexism in the workplace, the fact that women are still viewed as second class citizens in so many ways…these issues are very important and emotional for me. We just watched the high school bully/class clown with a C- average waltz in and beat the valedictorian for class president.

      Also, dunno if you’ve ever been grabbed by the p*ssy, but I sure have. Literally. But hey, it’s no big deal. Or so I’m told.

      • Anonymous

        Maybe if more of them turned out to vote, or voted for Hillary instead of Trump the outcome would have been different. I hate to say it but the numbers don’t lie. We could have voted in larger numbers for our own interests but sadly many did not. And that’s part of the problem right there.

    • New Tampanian

      This complete lack of empathy, for understanding that people react in varied ways, and that feelings are legitimate whether or not you share them, is one of the reasons we are in this F**k show of a predicament.

      • Senior Attorney

        Right?

        And on the merits: I just had lunch with a friend and we agreed that we both seriously wonder whether this is what it was like in 1930s Germany.

        • nutella

          A lot of people have wondered the same (and not just pundits but people who lived it). Particularly that it spoke to a group of people that felt down on their luck economically (still trying to recover from the aftermath of WWI) and put the blame on a successful minority that was seen as taking away from their success. It’s why a lot of Jewish families that may have in the past voted pro-Israel Republican have had a crisis this year because of the same feelings when you hear about “X taking our jobs away.”

          • Anonymous

            Actually, it’s not true that Jews repudiated Trump. 24% of Jewish Americans voted for him, which is about the same number that typically vote Republican. I am Jewish and I cannot believe 1/4 of Jewish Americans can cast a vote for someone who has promised to put people of a certain religion on a registry. It is literally how the Holocaust began.

        • Scarlett

          same here. it is absolutely frightening right now. And I am saying this from one of the darkest blue parts of the country. Not because things are happening here, but I am scared for the rights of everyone in this country.

          • Anonymous

            From everything I’ve read about Nazi Germany, this is exactly the climate in Germany that led to the rise of Hitler. I am Jewish and generally very skeptical of comparisons to the Holocaust and Hitler because it was so uniquely awful, but it is hard for me to deny that the political and social climate appears to be very similar. Remember that poisonous Skittle thing that one of the Trump Jrs tweeted? That was literally a Nazi propaganda ad but with “Jew” instead of “Muslim refugee.”

          • Pears

            Thank you anonymous at 9:10 — all of this. I’m horrified at you Anon at 6:38.

            “From everything I’ve read about Nazi Germany, this is exactly the climate in Germany that led to the rise of Hitler. I am Jewish and generally very skeptical of comparisons to the Holocaust and Hitler because it was so uniquely awful, but it is hard for me to deny that the political and social climate appears to be very similar. Remember that poisonous Skittle thing that one of the Trump Jrs tweeted? That was literally a Nazi propaganda ad but with “Jew” instead of “Muslim refugee.””

    • sadder than expected

      I did not expect to be nearly as upset as I have been. I’ve been trying to identify why it’s been taking such a toll on me personally and I think it has to do with a lot of the implication that a woman with literally a perfect resume tailored to the position she sought and who had checked every single box was not elected, in favor of a man who not only spewed hatred and lacked any sort of intelligence about the position he was seeking, but was also inexcusably misogynistic and had a documented history of, at best, sexually explicit behavior, and at worst, sexual assault. I am young and I was raised in the “Girl Power” 90s and to some extent the boys also raised during this period have also heard the assertions of “women can do everything” but fail to see the ways they are held back both overtly and covertly. As a result, I am in this frustrating place where too many men my age feel like the pendulum has swung against them and are now fighting back, yet I also know that the changes that would actually make a difference (equal pay, equal likelihood of promotion, the ability to give my children my own last name, retribution for the friends of mine who were sexually assaulted and then silenced by college administrators and classmates) are still far away. The result of the election was a clear statement that I can work harder and be the best in any field, but I will never win.

      It’s been made worse by the fact that at least in my social circles, very few are willing to talk about the role that gender played in this election beyond a superficial level.

      I worry for America because of the bigotry that his campaign was founded on, and the statements he made that made a mockery of both the responsibilities of various political offices and the checks and balances that are the very essence of democracy. But I am sad for myself because I have always worked to be the most intelligent, the hardest working, the best contributor, but I am in a world that will apparently do anything to avoid giving power to a woman, even if she is the most qualified person.

      • January

        Yes…. I could identify with her, and I have always hated him, even when he was just an obnoxious rich guy with a reality TV show I didn’t watch. I hate looking at his smug face, and I hate the sound of his voice. I hate that he’s not going away for four years now and I’m going to have to listen to this man. (Or not. I haven’t watched his acceptance speech and I don’t really plan to watch the inauguration, either).

        But I think it felt personal because it was like a rejection of nerdy, prepared girls in favor of the class clown. Or the frat bro.

      • Anonymous

        I really hated both candidates, and believe they are both opportunistic liars. HRC was just the lesser of two evils — but still, evil.

      • anon4this

        do you mind if I steal this? I love it. Was just planning to say a friend shared this.

        I too am a young lawyer & this hit me SO much harder than I can even understand. I’ll admit I feel silly and even ashamed. I feel like my minority friends are patting me on the head saying “there, there. you finally know what it feels like to be marginalized, little privileged white girl.” But it really feels like there is no point. We can work hard, deal with so much BS, be the smartest, be the most qualified, and in the end the orange clown (or rich private school boy, or CEO’s son, or whoever) can waltz in and beat us. we aren’t here to rise to the top, we are just here to churn out good work, look pretty, and keep quiet.

        of course, this is not really true. and it is also not the worst part about the election. it is that all of these terrible people are validated. Whether it is the s*xist pigs, or the racists, islamaphobes, whoever… they won. & I’m having a hard time understanding why my non-racist/sexist/etc. friends that voted for him don’t care. They say its because he’s not really going to do XYZ and he is maybe not even racist. But that’s not the point. the point is, a man was able to say those things, and people still elected him.

        Anyway, clearly having a lot of feelings & wanted to put them somewhere. Thanks.

    • Kate

      As a college educator, I really, really don’t get people who spend their time complaining about the way colleges choose to support their students. You don’t get free concerts and football games in the “real world” either and no one seems to have a problem with colleges offering those. The world would be a better place if we all had access to mental health services and support through tough times, not if fewer people did.

      • Darla

        Depends where you work. My company recently had Sting come perform. But no coloring books or support dogs.

      • Scarlett

        This a million times. It always makes me think of bitter people who want the future generations to have to suffer the same way they did – like walk uphill the snow both ways to school.

        • Mindy

          but school back then didn’t cost 5-1+ years of your salary at 8+% interest

          • Scarlett

            I’m not sure I get your comment – I think schools should support their students and help them emotionally. That doesn’t impact the cost of education. It makes the next generation more empathetic.

      • Anonymous

        If I have a bad day at work or am stressed about something, I don’t get to demand that my boss or anyone else provide me with a safe safe where no white people/straight people/men or whatever are not allowed. If someone says something I don’t like I can’t cry about being triggered and report them to administration then run away and hide. If my candidate doesn’t win an election I don’t get to have my work for the day canceled, I have to suck it up and go to work. The real world doesn’t coddle people they way they want to be/are coddled.

    • Anonymous

      I agree that there is some over reaction, and in some ways it is insulting. There are many different people in our country, and many ways that people that will work hard for what they believe. Corporations and lobbyists run much of our government (like it or not), and I cynically believe that money will continue to be a huge driver.

      In good news today, it appears that the TPP is dead. Liberal and conservative citizens equally feared and hated this deal.

    • Celia

      How many campaign promises are actually enacted? I know he seems to be a true a-hole and jerk and misogynist pig, but maybe he’ll end up like all the others and not follow through on most of what he promised?

  8. Anonymous

    I know people are still raw but I have non election related request: best gifts for a 2 year old girl’s birthday party? She is not into super “girly” things. I don’t have kids myself and am at a loss. Thanks in advance!

  9. Anonymous

    Does anyone have any good fiction or nonfiction book recommendations about unrequited love, I guess, for lack of a better phrase? I’m in need of the literary therapy for a complicated life situation and looking to grovel and feel less alone. Thanks!

      • Anonymous

        +1 Really enjoyed Eligble! I love Curtis Sittenfeld, so if you haven’t read her other work I also recommend Prep and American Wife (a fictionalized version of Laura Bush’s life that is much better than it sounds).

        • Anonymous

          For OP’s purposes, I’m wondering if Prep, while excellent, might be depressing. Loved American Wife, as well as Sisterland.

          • ml

            I just finished Prep and I would not recommend it. The writing is good and I identified with a lot of it, but it didn’t go anywhere and I didn’t feel better at the end. Eligible, though, is a great quick read!

          • Anonymous

            I honestly thought Curtis Sittenfeld was a man because Prep read like some wanna be edgy lit along the lines of A Seperate Peace. Surprised a woman could do such a bad job of writing a teenage girl.

          • Anonymous

            Interesting. I read Prep when I was 18 and felt like she had somehow read my mind.

        • KinCA

          American Wife is one of my favorite books of all time. Not about unrequited love, but I highly recommend it.

    • Anonymous

      Beautiful Ruins. Also, if you liked Anne of Green Gables as a kid (but seriously, only if you like that sort of thing), I would recommend the single book that LM Montgomery wrote for adults, The Blue Castle.

      • Someday, I will buy a green dress with red beads.

        The Blue Castle is my favorite book of all time. It opens on spinster Valancy Jane’s dismal 29th birthday. Valancy sheds her fears and risks everything in her small Canadian town. Oh, I’d love to include some spoilers. But I won’t because the plot unfolds so beautifully!

        • Ariadne

          Me too! Still searching for the blue chiffon dress she wears when he calls her “moonlight” (a current day version for me:) One of my favorite books of all time as well. I read it first when I was 14, and re-read it every year.

    • LaJen

      Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go! So heartbreaking, so amazing and understated.

    • AIMS

      Letter from an Unknown Woman by Stefan Zweig. It’s more of a short story or novella, but haunting and beautifully written.

      You might also enjoy some of the poems and short stories of Dorothy Parker.

    • January

      Oh! In addition to fiction, there is a great nonfiction book called “Unrequited: The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Romantic Obsession,” which is part memoir, part self-help, and part historical/sociological survey about women and desire. It was so interesting, and helpful to me when I was going through a bad time.

  10. Runner 5

    I posted in the Pantsuit Nation group earlier today and have had may more support on my post than I’d have imagined. So I thought I’d c&p it here

    I’m in Edinburgh, Scotland. Pantsuiters, we’re mourning with you. I’ve learnt a little about how to cope with discovering my country isn’t the place I hoped and believed it to be over the past few months. Right now you’re probably shellshocked and angry. Mourn, but stay angry and campaign. When they go low we go high. And we go high together ?

  11. Anonymous

    *Possible TMI alert*

    This morning I decided to wear my favorite black and white monochrome dress to help me feel better given all that is happening. If course my period decides to show up 2 days early in extra heavy mode with a helping of extra cramps. I had to wrap my sweater around my waste because I was afraid of a leak and had to give a presentation to my boss and some managers while dealing with horrible cramps. So glad that the work day is over in 15 minutes and I can go home and have a hot bath. The presentation went great, so that’s something at least.

    (Sending my love and good thoughts to anyone who needs it today)

  12. Anonymous

    Are any of you ‘brown european’? I’m from the Mediterranean. My family has lived there for hundreds of years (most still do). My immediate family immigrated to the US where I was born. When I tell people my family is from Europe they look at me like I have ten heads. I can admittedly pass for causasian but my mom, brother, and grand parents can’t. I guess I don’t really have a point. It’s just hard being the subject of hate that comes out of ignorance. The country I’m from is primarily Catholic (though I’m an atheist which is a whole other beast) and has been for hundreds of years but I have been asked tens of times if I’m Muslim. I’m just sad I suppose. Sorry for babbling.

    • Anonymous

      No. I am shocked. Racism won by a hair. The majority vote wasn’t for him. This isn’t a micro aggression it is reAlity.

    • Anon

      Guess it’s time for the daily reminder that all white people are horrible and everything is all their fault. (I’m not white btw but the blaming is getting quite tiresome and annoying, especially lately)

        • Anonymous

          I’m honored to be mistaken for a white person even after I stated that I am NOT white. If only that would happen all time, my life would be a lot easier.

          (Anything coming from someone who is crazy and nutty enough to think that this is the same as the crimes in Nazi Germany in the 1930s and during the war, when nothing has even happened yet is not an opinion I’m going to put much stock in)

          • Anonymous

            Do you know ANYTHING about the Holocaust? They didn’t just start trucking Jews off to concentration camps overnight. There were years of economic strife and political discontent and increasing xenophobia and skepticism of anyone who wasn’t a “pure” German and rallying behind a man who supported and endorsed bigotry and hatred toward certain groups. Sound familiar? And then everyone was so blinded by hatred and fear that that man and his associates murdered millions and millions of people. Trump hasn’t killed anyone (yet), but the things he has said and done this year and the actions he has claimed he will take as president are eerily reminiscent of the early days of the Third Reich.

    • Anonymous

      If stunned devastation is a microagression (and I think that’s a very big if), I don’t see how silencing an enormous segment of the population is overall helpful.

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