Coffee Break: Block-T Leather Tote

151 Comments

1. Does anyone else feel that the world has just gone insane? Multiple extremely damaging hurricanes, several devastating earthquakes, Myanmar, N. Korea, Trump… Never mind Syria and Afghanistan and all that was already bad… I know it’s not actually the end of times but it does feel like it a bit.

   1. Right there with you. It feels like we’re trapped in a really, really awful movie. This can’t be real, right? People have more common sense and decency than this… right?

   2. The hurricane stuff is a predictable consequence of climate change that we’ve been warned about for years.

      As for the other stuff, I’m not sure how much the international situation is worse or if we are just aware of it with unprecedented speed and detail thanks to essentially real time video from every corner of the earth. Replace Myanmar with Rwanda and Syria with Bosnia and sadly we could easily be talking about the 1990s.

      I feel more like when I was a kid, how did people go on living normal lives when WWII was happening or Vietnam? And I’ve since realized that life goes on when you are not directly impacted and it takes a real effort to step outside your day to day life and take an action to make an impact on those situations.

      That said, I do think that as climate change takes hold, we will see increasing violence and disruption from both natural disasters and the related human catastrophes as people struggle to survive – okay that sounds super grim. Need a drink.

   3. How do you know it isn’t? I’m voting Armageddon.

      1. The fire tornado in Idaho is what sealed it for me. Definitely Armageddon.

         1. Word.

      2. One of those “biblical prophecies” is going around that the world will end Saturday … which is also my birthday.

         1. …which means you can eat ALL THE CAKE with no worries, right?

         2. The Washington Post has an article about the guy behind this one. He clarifies that Saturday is only the *beginning* of the end of the world. The whole thing will take, like, 7 years. FYI.

            Happy Birthday!

   4. I was watching a disaster movie last night and had to turn it off because it just felt too real.

      1. I was sitting on my couch last night, reading the news, and sirens started in the background outside and for a second I thought I was in a disaster movie. If my daughter’s head spun around exorcist -style at that moment, I don’t think it would have surprised me.

      2. I recently realized that most of my television shows are really, really dark – Walking Dead, GoT, Americans, Handmaid’s Tale, Fargo, etc. Even shows like Master of None have such a realistic undercurrent, it wasn’t really helping me unwind. I’ve made a conscious effort to watch things that are happy or funny, even if they are cheesy. Thank you to Insecure and the Good Place. (Also accepting any other suggestions!)

         1. The Mindy Project (her books are also hilarious and great for unwinding).

         2. the unbreakable kimmie schmidt
            silicon valley
            hasan minaj:homecoming king

            1. I am also looking for ways to cope with everything that is going on in the world! I suppose I could start by turning off the news, but I feel compelled to watch it and check it 10 times online during the day and listen to it on the radio. It all makes me want to be a prepper. As much as people may make fun of them, they’ll be okay if the power goes out for months (like Puerto Rico, they say). And they’ll be okay if there’s a run on water at the store. How are you all coping with the insanity?

            2. Superstore!
               Trial & Error is super funny as well.
               I am cutting back on news because it is really started to stress me out.

   5. I agree. FOOEY on all of this. The world is a mess, and I have NO husband to make things easy for me. I want to relax and go to the mountains for a few days and get away from it all, but have no boyfreind to take me there. DOUBEL FOOEY!

2. I could use some good vibes. I was dinged on my evaluation for illegal reasons and was advised to respond to my supervisor in writing before we have a meeting. So awkward when you have to tell your supervisor that they’re discriminating against you.

   1. Uhhh you don’t need good vibes you need an employment lawyer.

      1. Both, both is good.

      2. I’m trying to keep this from becoming a legal matter. Ugh.

         1. Why? For your benefit or your company’s?

         2. An employment lawyer can guide you on how to properly word your response without formally making this “a legal matter”

         3. Hi. I’m an employment lawyer. YOU NEED AN EMPLOYMENT LAWYER to help you word things so that you don’t inadvertently waive your rights.

         4. Second employment lawyer here. You should get in front of this with legal help if you feel you are being discriminated against, particularly if you got a poor evaluation and have been told there will be A Meeting.

   2. Wait so who advised you to respond to your supervisor in writing, if not an employment lawyer? Was it HR? If yes, they are protecting the company, not you.

      1. You should get the complaint/discriminating comment in writing FIRST.

   3. NOPE NOPE NOPE. Do nothing until you talk to an employment lawyer.

3. … No, self, you do not need a new bag right now. Especially not with those shipping and import charges. (However, I may just tell my sister I know now what I want for my birthday…)

   1. What’s the bag?

      1. Oh, never mind, duh, the one posted. I have no brain left!

4. I have a weight gain/age/birth control conundrum and wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.

   I’m 31 and had a paraguard (copper) IUD placed last year. Almost immediately, I began gaining weight almost entirely around my midsection. I’ve always been a pear (and have gained and lost weight over the years, varying the extremeness of my pear shape), but now I’m a solid apple. I often look bloated/pregnant.

   One year later, it’s added up to a 30 lb weight gain. On my frame, it’s substantial. Supposedly, the IUD shouldn’t be making me gain weight since it’s not hormonal and my doctors have mostly dismissed my concern, saying I’m getting older and that’s what I should expect.

   I’ve had a full panel to check out thyroid, hormones, etc. and everything is within the range of normal according to my doctor. I’ve been working out (hard! with a trainer) 2x/week + one cardio class and my weight hasn’t budged despite cutting processed food and most carbs. I’m spinning my wheels and starting to worry that it’s never going to stop.

   The only other thing I can figure is something related to the copper IUD.

   When you google copper IUD and weight gain, there’s a lot of talk about it (and copper toxicity), but it all starts to get a little woo woo. It’s easy to go down the rabbit hole of nutritional rebalancing, etc., but is any of that stuff legit?

   TLDR: Anyone had a similar experience with copper IUDs/weight gain and/or know what kind of legit professional might be able to help me out?

   1. Have you seen a dietitian? I know you mentioned cutting processed foods and reducing carbs but you might still be eating too much overall. As I moved through my thirties I saw a real and depressing decrease in the amount of food I needed to eat to maintain my current weight. I miss being 16 with a hollow leg. If it’s not that, then it very well could be the IUD.

   2. Are you tracking what you eat?

      1. Yes– I’m tracking via MyFitness Pal and averaging 1800 cal/day and paying attention to macros. I’m not quite low carb enough to be keto. I’m not sure how much more I can do on that front.

         1. I would try cutting this back a bit and see if you have any results. For me (I am short), I would never lose weight on 1800 calories, even with exercise. I have to be around 1400, even less if I am not working out. Take a good look at if you are being completely accurate with your tracking. I have to track every single bite and use a food scale. (I loosen up on this once I have a good feel for portions and I tend to eat lots of the same things over and over, but once I start gaining then I go back to the food scale.) It is a pain.

      2. I think my longer reply got stuck in mod, but short answer is yes.

   3. Commiseration. I have gained 1 pound per mg of norethindrone (currently at 15mg, yay). Granted, I’ve always been an apple shape but now I’m extra apple-y. It is apparently just water weight but doesn’t matter, people on the train still offer me seats (Godzilla is not having baby monsters right now, thankyouverymuch). Have you tried restricting salt and drinking more water?

      1. Commiseration back. I probably do need to be more mindful about how much water I’m drinking every day.

   4. I don’t think a doctor should dismiss a 30 lb. weight gain in one year as just normal aging, esp. at your age and esp. if you have been working out and (presumably) watching your calorie intake even a bit.

      I would talk to another doctor and maybe a good nutritionist, too.

      1. +1

         No experience with paraguard (I have a mirena) but I would get another opinion from another doctor and talk to a nutritionist. It sounds like you’re eating reasonably healthy, but consulting a nutritionist might still be beneficial.

      2. Friend had a thyroid problem that caused a similar weight gain. Third on recommending a second opinion.

      3. +1 to getting a second opinion. I agree that gaining 30 lbs while watching what you eat and exercising 2-3 times a week is very concerning.

         I have a paragard. No weight gain issues as long as I watch what I eat/exercise. I was recently found to have an underactive thyroid.

   5. I had a paragard from age 27-30 (took it out to get pregnant) and had no weight gain issues at all. My cramps were way worse but no other side effects.

      I’d focus on diet & reducing stress? Sorry to not be more help. I just really doubt it’s the IUD.

      1. Thanks for your thoughts. My cramps are worse too, but manageable if the weight gain wasn’t freaking me out.

         1. I had Mirena for a year and had it removed because of hormone issues (acne/mood swings). I switched to Paragard and have had no side effects (other than a heavier period).

            As for the weight gain, if you’re being honest with yourself about what you are consuming, you need more tests done. FWIW, you cannot out exercise a bad diet. Ever.

            *signed by someone who is maintaining a 100 pound weight-loss for 6 years

            1. That is nothing short of amazing to me. Any insight on how you managed to really tackle being honest and accountable about what you consume?

      2. I just had mine removed because it made my period really long and heavy, but I did not notice weight gain. I did notice more fluctuations in my weight during my cycle (bloat around ovulation especially) and PMS cravings when I had it compared to being on hormonal birth control. It is very easy to get it removed though–I just did this week, didn’t hurt at all–so you could try it.

         FWIW, as I have gotten older it has gotten impossible for me to loose weight without tracking what I eat. Exercise makes me hungrier and it is really easy to eat enough to offset any calorie deficit it might cause.

   6. No direct experience with an IUD, but it doesn’t sound crazy to me. I’ve had side effects from birth control before, and I have metal sensitivities (can only where gold earrings or else my ears get inflamed). FWIW, I don’t think a 30 lb weight gain in a year is “normal aging.” Can you just get the IUD removed?

      1. *wear. gah.

      2. Yeah, I’m considering having it removed.

         I do have other metal sensitivities (boo, no cheap jewelry for me!) so I think that’s why my brain even went there with the copper idea in the first place.

   7. I had a friend who had this issue. She took the IUD out and went back on the pill and the weight disappeared within months.

      1. That probably felt amazing. And I agree — get the IUD removed! If you don’t lose the weight in 6 months, put the IUD back in. YOU know your body.

   8. Not the copper IUD but the low hormone one – Skylar? Had intense food craving (I was always STARVING) and gained a ton of weight. I knew I was eating more than I needed but I was just so hungry. So weird to describe. My dr promised it wasn’t because of the IUD but after a year I had it removed and the cravings went away completely. Now I’m dealing with taking the weight off, but at least I’m no longer gaining weight.

      1. I used Loestrin (pill) and had something similar. Ravenously hungry by noon and super tired by 7 pm. I switched from taking the pill in the morning to taking it before bed and it got better. Was still moodier on the pill than I was off it though, so I ended up not taking BC at all after awhile.

5. I love this color!

6. I’m looking for a new work tote. I could use some suggestions.

   Must have:
   -shoulder strap
   -outside pocket for cell phone, inside pocket for lipstick, mirror, comb etc.
   -large enough for a 13″ laptop, iPad, organizer, glasses case and large-ish wallet.
   -neutral color other than black
   -made of leather not nylon (saffiano ok)
   -no logo print or tons of gewgaws hanging off

   Nice to have but not required:
   -stiff enough to stand up and not flop over
   -a key fob thing so that I can find my keys

   Any suggestions?

   1. Knomo Maddox. I have caramel and black. Workhorses.

      1. That’s the right idea but alas, no outside pocket.

         1. Fossil Emma Tote – but it does start to flp over as the leather wears

         2. It does have a pocket for a cell phone that is outside (meaning if you zip the bag closed, you can still access it). It is on the side opposite the logo side (which i carry against my body) and it has a magnetic fastener.

            1. This pocket response was re: the Knomo Maddox btw

         3. Knomo Grosvenor Place. Has two front pockets (one RFID protected) and shoulder straps long enough to go over your shoulder easily, even with a big jacket. Takes up to a 15″ laptop. Light weight.

            Loving mine. Total game changer for me.

            1. Oops. Just noticed the leather but. They have similar in leather though.

      2. Are you me?! I just had a work bag emergency, have the same requirements, and was looking at the Maddox or the Grosvenor Place (I finally figured out the secret pocket). What about the Maddox — how heavy is it in the leather? Or the leather Grosvenor Place?

         Was also considering the Cuyana Work Satchel but have the same questions about weight and heft and whether the shoulder strap is really that comfortable. https://www.cuyana.com/work-satchel.html#black

         1. I’m the anon with the Caramel and Black maddoxes. They hold up really well to heavy use. The shoulder straps are very comfortable (much more so than the MZ wallace rolled straps – even though the MZ is lighter, the Maddox feels lighter bc the straps are better). I travel with it for work all the time and pack it full.

            1. Thanks so much, I think you just made up my mind!

         2. I ordered the Maddox last year but returned it. It is gorgeous, but flops over when a laptop is inside it. This would not bother some people at all, but I mention it because the OP said it was a consideration.

   2. Cole Haan Acadia – I got mine on amazon on super sale

      1. How are the handles holding up on yours? I am a little concerned about the Amazon review. I do like that spruce color – unfortunately no super sale!

         1. Not well- I got the black so I got mine replaced when they wore out after a year (it was $40) I think. worth it since I got it for 100 I think

      2. I have a different Cole Haan tote (can’t remember the name). Super pleased with it so far – handles have held up well and I stuff the poor thing. Leather, no blingy logos, and I think it would meet the OP’s requirements.

   3. Latico Leathers has several

   4. Tumi?

      1. Thanks. I have that now. It’s wearing out and not looking as fetch as it used to (I got a good 5 years out of it so no complaints) but I don’t love the new model available for replacement.

         But oh shoot, I just looked at the Nell tote….

         1. Nope, Nell won’t fit my laptop.

            1. wow 5 years is solid! That’s the next bag I’m looking at, although I haven;t seen the new models. Hope they don’t totally suck :-/

         2. It makes me so happy you just used “fetch” to describe your bag. Thank you for that, it actually improved my Thursday afternoon.

            1. I have not given up on trying to make fetch happen.

   5. Minkoff Regan

      1. My Minkoff was SO disappointing. Fell apart after 3 months of daily use. Don’t brand yourself as a ‘work bag’ if it can’t actually be used consistently as one.

   6. The leather Charlie tote by Dagne Dover – not cheap, but gorgeous, sturdy, and fits all your requirements.

      1. How did the handles hold up? I’ve seen lots of posts on here complaining about them coming apart.

7. Has anyone found a good weatherproof jacket with a hood that accommodates a ponytail? I’m having issues where the hood of a jacket doesn’t cover my head all the way if I’m wearing a ponytail (which is just a low ponytail, I’m not talking cheerleader). Or I have to keep pulling it forward to keep rain off my head. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!

   1. A work appropriate jacket, or like, a more casual jacket (maybe to be used for commuting)? I’ve had good luck with buying a size up in Columbia rain jackets, which have pretty generous sized hoods. They aren’t work-formal, but they work for a commute in.

      1. Thank you, I am looking for a commuting jacket.

   2. Eddie Bauer Girl on the Go trench.

      1. FWIW I just got this trench and found the hood a bit shallow.

   3. My London Fog trench has a deep hood that is perfect for my ponytails.

      1. Thank you, I’ll try London Fog.

         1. I have a London fog parka with a giant hood, so I’d second looking there as well!

   4. I have the Arc’teryx Codetta GTX Coat and it has a spacious hood.

      1. Thank you!

8. Need to buy 2-3 classic suits as I was noticing yesterday that all of mine are getting so worn out. Where do you all usually buy? I’m a big Banana Republic fan — I like their light weight wool – the cut, the lining, the relatively classic look; but looking at their site there’s only 1 I’d buy — unless I want to get 3 identical black suits (BR has a blue but it isn’t a classic navy, it’s a lighter blue with a purplish tinge). Where else would you go for the same simple type of look – must be lightweight wool and must have lined pants. I’d probably buy black/navy/gray/pinstripe – nothing too “fashionable” like ruffled edges or bright colors or something that’ll be out next yr; I want suits I can wear yr after yr. Want to stay in the $300-500 price range (though the lower end of that range is preferred at least for 1-2 of them).

   1. Talbots with tailoring. The suits off the rack tend to be a bit boxy for me but they have a million variations so you can usually find something that works and get it tailored to fit perfectly.

      1. I need to do this! I have some Talbot’s suits sitting unworn. They’re nice but boxy.

      2. +1. Me too. Talbots with tailoring.

   2. Reiss, if you are an hourglass and can get them on sale to stay within your price range. I’ve been very, very happy with mine. If you call the NYC store, they have a wider range of sizes than they do online on the US website.

   3. I like j.crew’s super 120s for this (they have the blazer, skirt and pants and often a dress too) though I haven’t bought a suit from them in a few years. If you stalk and wait they will go on sale (including classic colors) or at least have a %off discount on full price items that should bring them into your price range.

      1. Yes, and JCrew now has a lined pants option, which I think is fairly new. I just bought the classic grey suit from them last month (wool 120s) and am very happy.

   4. Ann Taylor. I was also a fan of BR suits in the past but have switched to Ann Taylor recently because I liked their selection better.

9. Has anyone ever purchased from Shein? Might be a little juniors for this group but thought I’d ask!

   1. Yes – it is VERY hit or miss. Like, if you order the same thing in different colors, one might be massive and the other tiny. and returns are basically pointless. But if you’re willing to take the risk, the price point is right and you can find a gem on occasion. wasn’t worth it for me personally

   2. I have and agree with turtle that it is VERY hit or miss. I ordered eight things and kept one, returned the others. Super super cheap, but ok quality for the price. Good for weekend t-shirt dresses, casual night out dresses, that sort of thing. It took forever to arrive once ordered (shipping from China) and took for-ev-er to get refunded for what I sent back. And they wanted to give my refund in “Shein Credit,” but I had already decided I would not order again and didn’t have any use for Shein Credit. It took two more weeks of emailing to convince them to refund my credit card. If you have time for all of that, go for it. The one dress I did keep is pretty cute.

10. Accidentally left half a cheese pizza on the counter overnight for nine hours… I refrigerated it this morning as soon as I realized. Is it ok for me to eat the leftovers for dinner?

    1. Yes.

    2. YESSSSSS

    3. No.

    4. It will be fine. My husband leaves meat covered pizzas out all night and then eats them whenever he feels like it the next day. This practice does not seem to make him sick.

    5. People refrigerate pizza leftovers? (j/k but yes it’s fine)

    6. I’d still eat it, personally.

    7. I never refrigerate pizza and I sometimes leave it out multiple days. Hasn’t hurt me yet.

       1. Gross.

          1. Why is it always that a comment like this will be anonymous? We are all more or less anonymous here anyway. Is it so hard to just use “Debbie Downer” as your handle? I think I am extra cranky today but this is something I’ve noticed for a while.

             1. Yeah you seem cranky. I just called the decision to eat days old unrefrigerated food gross. That’s hardly a shocking view point. I don’t post with a handle because it doesn’t “stick” and retyping every time is annoying. And because I don’t owe you anything. And because it’s creepy how much info I know about many of you.

             2. The best is when Anonymous and Anonymous fight with each other/herself.

             3. With you, AIMS. Especially since you have to affirmatively type something, anything…why choose anonymous all the time when you could at least be clever? Le sigh. Then they get all snickety when you reply to the wrong anonymous like we can keep y’all straight…it’s like showing up to a big happy networking event/social party, not checking in and getting a nametag like everyone else has, then rudely butting into conversations with comments like that. Boggles the mind. Rant over.

             4. With you, and also have noticed that people around here seem to feel surprisingly strongly about food hygiene. Several someones were really vocal about eating unwashed fruit a couple months back. I don’t get why it’s something people get worked up about but I don’t get a lot of things.

             5. No Pompom you don’t. If you type nothing it comes up as Anonymous.

             6. I stand corrected, happily. I had no idea! Thanks for letting me know, I always just typed in my name. Never mind that…!

                Was there some point where you had to type something or it wouldn’t let you post? Maybe that’s another page. Just ignore me haha

             7. Fair enough, but there are so many anons posting comments I don’t think they would post under a ‘regular’ handle, too, and you do have to type that in. I get switching handles to post a question that’s very personal or would possibly out you IRL, but most of the time anon or anonymous comments are just along the lines of ‘you have issues’ or ‘that’s hideous.’ If that’s what you want to post, by all means, but why not stick a name on top?

    8. No.

       I draw the line at meat (like hamburger) left out overnight but am OK with bread/dairy. Probably also OK with bacon / cured meats (to a point).

    9. Totally. I wouldn’t eat meat that had been left out overnight, but cheese pizza is fine. If you’re concerned, just give it a good zap in the microwave (or bake in the oven if you don’t want it to get soggy). That will kill any bacteria.

    10. Yes, absolutely.

    11. Cheese was invented to preserve dairy. It’s fine.

        1. I used to do this in my college days and survivied. But today no, I wouldn’t. I am bit more anal about that stuff.

11. Just got an offer for what sounds like an amazing job under a great former boss (who has been trying to get me to work for her for like 4 months). The offer was 10% more than what I get now, but 10% less than the market rate that said boss gave to me early in the process. So I told that to the Recruiting person, which may not have been smart, but was true. So we’ll see what happens. I’m not taking it for 10, and I think I probably would take 15, but WHY did she tell me 20?? Blarg.

    1. She may not have known they would counter with that. I think you are fine to let them know your expectations.

       1. Completely agree! And go back to your boss if the recruiter is unhelpful. It’s your bosses budget and she wants you.

12. So, one-third of Harvard’s incoming class are legacies. Same at Stanford. This really depresses me, although I’m having a hard time articulating why. I’m sure those legacy students–or at least most of them–otherwise have the right credentials to get in. But still, it just kind of sucks.

    1. It disappoints you because the myth of the American meritocracy holds our elite universities up as a temple of equality where the best and brightest get ahead. And that is a lie.

       1. +100. We as a country don’t like to acknowledge that American is not really a meritocracy.

       2. Yeah. I think I’m trying to be a bit equivocal because my knee-jerk reaction is to now assume that all of the HYS alumni I meet are suspect. And I know that’s not fair. But seriously, ONE IN THREE.

          1. I don’t think the individuals are suspect. I think the entire system is.

             1. I wouldn’t go so far as “suspect.” A good friend of mine went to Harvard undergrad. She was a legacy. But she also had stellar grades in AP classes, had a perfect SAT score, participated in a varsity sport (which she later did intramural at Harvard), volunteered on the weekends, did a bunch of other extra-curriculars, and had some quirky hobbies. There are probably 1000s of applicants like her who aren’t legacies, but I don’t have the impression that it’s easy for legacies to get in.

             2. It’s actually demonstrably significantly easier for legacies to get in. Some years acceptance rates are below 10% for normals and close to 40% for legacies.

             3. This. It’s about 4 times as easy for legacies.

             4. Agree about it being a system thing. A legacy is more likely to have the credentials because he/she was raised by parents who had them and helped instill them in their kids, and was likely in a social class that understood and promoted them. A just-as-smart-kid without that family and social help has a far harder time.

             5. To anon at 5:31: but even your friend’s case is somewhat “suspect”, because she was better able to have access to AP classes and had time and the funds to participate in a varsity sport. I’m sure many of her opportunities that helped her get in to Harvard were because she came from a privileged family.

                What of the kid with stellar grades and a solid SAT score, but who had to work to help feed and clothe younger siblings and couldn’t participate in sports? Or who missed out on application deadlines because their underpaid and overburdened counselors couldn’t see students as much as they’d like, and mom and dad never went to school and had no clue how the process worked? Or who couldn’t pay the AP exam fees? (all real examples from my years of teaching, sadly). The entire system privileges those who are able to play the game.

          2. I wouldn’t say “suspect” but I would say I just think it doesn’t tell you anything about how smart they are. The stereotype is that people from HYS are impressive people, but I think data like this shows that the stereotype isn’t reliable and you should instead treat HYS degrees the same as a degree from any school you haven’t heard of. OK, you have a degree, now prove to me you’re actually smart.

             1. This, this, this. And remember, Harvard is a giant investment fund that happens to run a small university on the side.

       3. One of my best friends went to Stanford. She was not the smartest and did not have the best grades in our little triad of BFFness–she wasn’t even in the top 10 at my (competitive) high school, like other BFF and I were. But Mommy had been a tenured professor at Stanford who wrote some big checks; sent her to two years of intensive SAT prep; and guess which one of the three of us went to Stanford, and which two of us went to Berkeley. I love her and her mom (truly, they are amazing women and I am so fortunate to have them both in my lives). But I’ve know since then that American meritocracy is a lie.

          1. Meh, unless they had loads of money from some other source, a tenured professor at Stanford does not have the kind of money to write the checks you’d need to write to get an admissions edge. Calling on personal networks, sure. But I am on faculty at a similar institution, and was at Stanford in a different capacity in the past – the checks would need to be in the multiple millions of dollars, and professors (even in the best-paid disciplines) don’t make that kind of money.

             1. Yeah this. I’ve worked in admissions at an Ivy. Being the child of faculty maybe gives you a sliiiiiiiiight edge over other applicants but it’s nothing compared to legacy status, especially legacy as the child of an undergrad alum. To get in because of donations, the donations have to be in the multi-millions, and no faculty member is giving that much. Your friend may not have been as smart as you but her admission probably has much more to do with dumb luck (e.g., an admissions officer connecting with the subject of her essay) than with being a faculty brat.

          2. Daddy is a CEO but Mommy drove the decision on whose school the checks went to (she also came from money). Should have clarified.

    2. Because you think about becoming an Important Person in our government, and you realize that it’s turning into an unofficial monarchy, where you have to have the right degree and the right credentials, and unless you’re willing to bankrupt yourself so your kid can attend one of the Ivy league universities (+ law schools), that you’re basically succumbing to being led by the Harvard/Stanford grads for the rest of your family’s legacy.

       Or maybe that’s just me.

    3. If you want to REALLY depress yourself, go pull the NYT January interactive piece of socioeconomic diversity at elite colleges. You can search various colleges and see how they stack up. I’m proud that my undergrad institution is well-rated (in part because I’m involved in the fundraising that makes that possible), but depressed at how poorly elite colleges perform overall.

    4. I agree, it’s very disappointing. But I think for a lot of professions you can get to the very top without an Ivy undergrad degree. I’m thinking law for example. If you didn’t go to HYS law school, you’re almost certainly never going to end up on the Supreme Court, but a lot of people get into those law schools from much more average undergrad schools. I know someone who went to State U (and a very average one at that, not Berkeley/UCLA/Michigan/Virginia/etc.) and got into Harvard for law school, thanks to top grades and a really excellent LSAT score. And obviously you don’t have to go to Harvard or anything close to it for law school to become an incredibly successful lawyer.

       1. I don’t think it’s because you get any points for being a legacy (too bad for my kids). To get an edge in admissions at HYS I think you need to be making VERY large donations, way past what the typical legacy kid’s parents are doing. The problem isn’t that Harvard is putting a finger on the scales; it’s that we have a deeply unmeritocratic system overall, so the kids whose parents went to HYS are sending their kids to the best private schools, paying for tutoring, and generally cultivating the kind of kids who have the qualities that you need to get into HYS.

          1. You get a pretty significant boost for being a legacy whose parents have donated anything. At my school, “legacy” and “donations” were literally just boxes that were checked and it really doesn’t matter if the donation is $100/year or $10,000/year.
             That said, many legacies with good academic credentials will still get turned down and to get in with a mediocre GPA and test scores you have to have parents who have donated huge, like bought a building.
             But at least half the applicants to a place like Harvard have really excellent academic credentials and you better believe of that half, legacies get in at a MUCH higher rate, even if their parents have not made significant donations.

          2. I think you would be surprised. There are plenty of stats that show that among kids with the same credentials (GPA, test score, competitiveness of high school), legacies get in at a significantly higher rate at most of the Ivies and Stanford. I’ve seen it anecdotally a bunch too. My cousin had good-but-not-great stats, applied to 10-15 top schools and only got into Yale, her mother’s alma mater. My husband went to a very elite prep school and he and his friends were all at the top of the class and all got into Ivies. The only one to get into Harvard was the son of a Harvard College alum. This guy is a really smart guy and did very well in high school, not saying he’s not deserving, but on paper he was no better than the other 4 guys who did not get in…except for the legacy factor. In all cases, parents were involved alumni who were probably donating regularly, but nobody was giving millions or close to it. I know for a fact my cousin’s mom sent in about $100/year because she wanted the school to count her as a donor but she didn’t want to give them any real money. Legacy counts for something regardless of donations, and counts for even more if you have donated even a small amount. It’s really not just a matter of Ivy alums having more resources for test prep and private schools.

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