Coffee Break: Travel Jewelry Roll

50 Comments

1. Is anyone familiar with rent control laws in NYC? My bro was just offered $100K to move out of his apartment by 9/1.

   1. No. But the part of me used to the bazaar says, if that is the first offer, what else do they have? Now is the time to start getting chatty with the neighbors. You don’t want to be the guy who takes 100K when some people balked and got more.

      But also google . . . Thirsty Beaver in Charlotte, NC. Sometimes progresses marches on without the holdouts. (it is a suitable-for-work graphic).

   2. I agree to negotiate, he might be able to get much more. Friends of mine ended up taking the buy out, staying with family and using the proceeds plus savings to buy a place.

      1. (the reason they stayed with family in between is that the process to buy a coop in NYC can take a few months).

   3. Assuming your brother is rent stabilized, not controlled. Here’s a good primer on buyouts: https://www.brickunderground.com/rent/can-I-still-get-a-buyout-of-rent-stabilized-apartment-now-law-has-changed

      He should find out why the landlord wants to move him out. The laws changed a couple years ago, so landlords no longer have the same incentive to move out stabilized tenants to renovate and remove the apartment from stabilization. Also, he needs to think about how much he needs to land a similar deal with some stability. What would a reasonable down payment be on a similar apartment which would allow your brother to make monthly payments on mortgage, maintenance, and taxes equal to his current rent? That’s his buyout number.

      1. +1

         Great advice

   4. He should consult with a lawyer that negotiates that amount. There are lawyers who specialize in this in NYC and it well worth it given the landlord’s initial offer.

2. Starting a new firm job after my clerkship ends in the fall. I am attending the firm’s summer outing at topgolf and am at a complete loss as to what to wear. I will be coming directly from the courthouse and I imagine most people will be coming from the firm’s offices.. business attire acceptable? I don’t want to be underdressed but playing golf, even if only driving range style, in my work pumps sounds like a disaster.

   1. Rothys (or similar). It’s practically a sneaker without being a sneaker.

   2. Business casual pants and flats would be fine no matter how anyone else was dressed. I would definitely not wear pumps to topgolf.

   3. Can you change in the topgolf restroom on the way in? I would change to something more casual. People will understand if you have a bag of clothes to change into if you’re currently clerking. Source: I run my firm’s summer program and have been to topgolf like four times this summer so far. We’ve had a wide range of attire so I would focus on being comfortable and not too hot.

      1. Even better — Change at the courthouse on the way out. At the least, I’d wear pants and flats that day or bring flats to change into.

3. I am bored with my hair. What should I do? Currently have a chin length bob and some grown out rose gold balayage on brown hair. Slightly wavy but thin and fine hair. I don’t really want to get bangs because I feel like they are a PITA to keep up. Could go with pixie but then I’d have to get it cut all the time.

   1. I have bangs and I don’t find them a PITA to keep up with. A glass of wine and some good haircutting scissors is all it takes for me!

      Over the pandemic I grew my formerly chin length bob to shoulder length. I’m enjoying the longer length and being able to put it up during hot weather.

   2. Shag haircuts are on trend right now. Is that too adventurous or does it give you too much 70s/80s vibes? Google for examples. Mullets are also trendy but I’ll pass!

      1. Your last sentence made me cackle because were I live, mullets were never out of style!!

         1. haha you guys were ahead of the trend the whole time! ;)

            1. If I don’t laugh, I cry!!

4. I’m going to be lateraling small firm to small firm. During the interview I was asked my salary range and I said $130k-$150k. I was offered $130k. There’s no reason I can’t try to negotiate to $140k, right? The worst they can say is no?

   I’m just asking because I know there are a lot of unwritten rules in law firm etiquette and I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot.

   I’m currently waiting on a second offer and if that is higher, I can use that to negotiate. I’m currently more interested in the first firm than the second.

   (I know that you are supposed to dodge questions about salary and make them make an offer first but we are seasoned and wanted to make sure we weren’t wasting each other’s time.)

   1. OP here to add that the $130k is a considerable raise over what I’m making now so I am happy with the number if it is what I end up with. I’m just hearing the “women don’t negotiate and that’s why they make less” refrain in my head.

      1. Take this with whatever grains of salt you like, as I have only ever worked at regional “big” law with lockstep, but I would absolutely try to negotiate!

      2. small firm @ $130k ?! you go girl!

         1. Thank you!!

   2. Definitely negotiate. Money first. Then other perks (401k match, vacation time, etc) if they don’t budge. Good luck!

   3. If you are an attorney, particularly where this is not your first job directly out of law school, I think a firm would expect you to negotiate salary and any other benefits/perks (vaca, WFH, etc) and would be surprised if you just accepted the first offer. As you said, worst they can say is no, but you certainly won’t get anything more if you don’t even ask for it.

5. Anecdotal experience request!

   Can you share your experience with followup mammogram imaging? I had my first one last week and I’m now scheduled for followup imaging, an ultrasound, and results appointment to take a closer look at two spots. Of course the mammogram office says this is routine and no big deal.

   Should I mentally prepare myself for a precautionary biopsy, or is this most likely to deeper drive on my baseline test and they’ll evaluate for changes at next year’s mammogram?

   1. I had this happen recently and it turned out to be nothing. Apparently it’s very common to need a follow-up because of poor visualization – mammograms are tricky to conduct and dense breasts or other factors can make it harder. Bottom line, don’t worry unless you have to. I was in the same boat and it’s easier to say “don’t worry” than to do it, though…

   2. I don’t think anyone can tell you for sure. I’m in my mid fifties and I’ve had a handful of follow ups over the years.

      Twice I had biopsies – one fine needle, and one core biopsy – both were benign, thankfully. Once on my follow up imaging they decided that the spot looked like a cyst and decided not to biopsy but to re-image in 6 months, and at 6 months it was gone.

      It’s all a lot of worry no matter how positive you try to feel, so the thing that helped me most was to say to myself, there’s nothing I can do about it now except wait for my appointment/test results. Basically, all my fretting isn’t going to change the outcome so try to relax a bit. Easier said than done, I know.

      They’re right that the vast majority of call backs turn out to be nothing. Good luck!

      1. I’m 46 and getting them since age 39. (It was a requirement before my Ivf at age 39). I had one call back for diagnostic – maybe my third ?. It was as “asymmetry” and resolved on the diagnostic image. I get ultrasounds every year due to density. I worry every single year. Lost my mom and grandma to bc. (Also did genetic testing and am negative). As many pointed out odds are good for this being nothing but if you still worry, try to distract yourself as much as possible.

   3. All my close friends are 40/41 (as am I), so I have a pool of 8 first time mammograms to draw from. We were all told the same thing, that it’s common to get called back for more scans on your initial mammogram. Of our friend group, 3 of the 8 were called back – some for only additional imaging, two for ultrasound as well. Nobody has additional followups like a biopsy after that.

      1. Same. I am “heterogeneously dense” and was told to get an ultrasound to get a more accurate baseline for the future.

      2. I’m 39 and my doctor told me the same same thing about the initial mammogram frequently requiring more imaging and not to panic.

      3. One more person – I had my baseline mammo at like 37 and got called in for more imaging; now 44 and have never had any other callbacks.

   4. I think I’ve had this three times now. They were just being careful. It was “a shadow” I think. Or they just needed a different set of eyes to take a look, or from a different angle (you’d think they had enough, the way they turn you this way and that.)

      Of course I panicked the first time (I was out of town when I got the call, which added to the suspense); after that I’ve mostly been annoyed.

   5. I had a follow up mammo 6 months after my first one, then a biopsy (which was benign), and will have a follow up at 6 months post-bx and then in theory back to a “normal” yearly schedule (I say “normal” in quotes because I’m 36… So a little younger than the norm for yearly mammos. Thanks, dense breast tissue!). I was told it’s not uncommon to have followup imaging after your first to see what truly is baseline.

   6. I’ve seen lots of numbers on this. My understanding is that less than 20% of mammograms get call backs for follow ups, and less than 20% of follow ups ask for biopsies. (I won’t quote numbers for benign v cancer, as that really depends on what they’re testing). Odds are still low there’s anything of concern. Ultrasound will be able to see different things than mammography, so can sometimes ID if something Is not concerning that had been flagged on mammography.
      I would plan that the appointment takes some time—for my place (large urban area), they read results while you wait, decide to take more images, read again. It can add up to something like 3 hours. You walk out knowing the results; I.e., whether they want to do a biopsy.

   7. I have dense breasts, and have gotten called back to do an ultrasound twice from the five mammograms I’ve had (I am 44 but started them early due to a lump that turned out to be nothing + family history of breast cancer). Each time I’ve been called back for additional imaging, they found nothing. Better to be safe than sorry but I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

   8. I just had this happen! First mammogram and they needed follow-up imaging, I got 2 sets taken and then they said “no ultrasound, you’re good”. The follow-up appt was supposed to be 1.5-2 hrs FWIW, it only took an hour because I didn’t need the ultrasound. They told me it was very common with the first mammogram to need follow-up images.

6. I have an interview this afternoon in which I will have to talk salary for the first time as a non-entry-level employee – can I get some Good Hive Vibes please??

   1. GOOD VIBES!! You got this!!

   2. Good luck!

7. How to buy a piano?
   My 10yo has been taking piano lessons for a couple of years on our Yamaha keyboard and his teacher is asking me to get a real piano with a foot pedal.
   I don’t want to spend $$$. What is a reasonable amount to spend for a good quality one that will last but not too expensive? And how can I pick? On nextdoor I see pianos offered from anywhere between free to $25,000. Many from estate sales, quite old and most of those need tuning. Our piano teacher says she may come help us pick if it is nearby but I don’t even know where to start shortlisting them.

   1. If this isn’t something you’re interested in investing a lot of money in to, have you looked in to renting a piano? Regardless of the piano’s age or condition, it will need regular tuning and care.

   2. Last time I moved, I got some movers through a page affiliated with U-Haul, which we were happy with. A lot of them also have their own truck. I’d get a free one in decent shape off of craigslist, plan 200 for moving it, and another 300 for getting it tuned. That would be Bay Area prices, as long as it’s just out of tune and doesn’t need to be restrung.

   3. Between $2500-$5000 would be reasonable for a quality upright piano. I wouldn’t pay more than that, and yes, you can definitely find one for less than that via private or estate sale. I would definitely have someone check out any used piano you consider because they can be pretty costly to repair. On the other hand, pianos are notoriously hard to offload, so there is a chance that someone does have a decent quality piano that they are offering for free. (I once heard a guy that owned a moving company say that the three things most often left behind in a move are pianos, hot tubs and trampolines).
      You’ll have to get it tuned anyway after it is moved, so that is a cost that you’ll need to account for regardless of quality and price. If you buy from a piano store, they will often do the first tuning for free. But of course you are then paying piano store prices.
      I would look into a known brand (Yamaha, Kawaii, Baldwin, Knabe)- there were many pianos manufacturers in the early part of the 1900s when everyone had a piano in their house; a lot of the mass produced ones, the quality is okay, but not great. and go with a full or studio upright, not a spinet or console. The sound will be better.

   4. I would buy a used Yamaha and have it moved by a professional piano mover, not a regular moving company. It must be tuned after moving and regularly thereafter. Probably a good idea to pay the piano tuner to come look at the piano with you before you buy used. The piano mover I used when I got my piano was also a piano tuner, which was convenient.

      I am very happy with my 40+-year-old Yamaha, and a number of professional pianists I’ve worked with have said very good things about Yamaha.

   5. If you don’t want an actual piano, a Yamaha Clavinova will still provide a real piano feel. My daughter’s piano teacher had four pianos in her studio but chose to teach on her Clavinova.

8. Help me find a new style! I am tall, plus-sized, reasonably hourglass-shaped, and am just so over all of my clothes. I go back to the office this fall and am looking for a style that is comfortable and allows me to wear loafers or sneakers, but is still professional. I’m a lawyer and can pull out the suits and heels for court days or whatever, but what I really need is a new day-to-day uniform. My off-work style has gotten increasingly boho and caftan-filled during the pandemic. Any suggestions? I don’t even know where to look for inspiration!

   1. Until you said “boho” and “caftan,” I was thinking Ellen DeGeneres because of the shoes.

   2. Similar size except I’m short and envious of your height :) Lean into your boho caftan phase by going full feminine and comfy.

      Get 5 sheath dresses. Maybe one or two faux-wrap dresses (we look amazing in these but can verge on va va voom). Calvin Klein or Talbots work best for hourglasses.

      Then get two pairs of shoes that really delight you. Personally I go for cute wedges with sheath dresses over loafers. Loafers look great but really look best with pant-based ensembles, and I just don’t look good in pants. Consider ankle-strap or t-strap shoes for a pretty classic vibe.

      And you’re done!

Comments are closed.