Coffee Break: Travel Makeup Mirror

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1. What niche product would you pay absurd amounts of money for if only someone offered it?

   I want a semi-automatic espresso machine with two coffee bean hoppers and a way to say “draw x% from this one and y% from the other.” That way, I could easily make half caf coffee or full caf or decaf, depending on the time of the day and how I slept, without switching the beans.

   1. Not relevant to me anymore but I would have paid good money for a breast pump that works while you sleep lying down normally.

      1. Same! I see how it would be hard to design, but there would be such a huge market

   2. For elders who want to live alone but keep having emergencies: whole house cameras like they have on Big Brother, etc.

      1. I felt like I was starting to approach this with front door cam, back door cam, and the watch household pets from a central location in the house cam.

         1. Yea, while we normally only have cameras on the outside doors, we set up extras and pretty much have the majority of our house covered when we go on vacation (really it’s because we just like to see what our cat is doing when the cat sitter isn’t there rather than actual security).

   3. A laptop sort of like the Kindles that aren’t backlit so you can read outside.

      1. this is a thing… e-ink monitors.

   4. A real-life BayMax robot for my elderly mom.

2. How do you decide how much umbrella insurance coverage to purchase? All the on-line content seems to be provided by insurance companies that naturally have an incentive to sell more coverage. Umbrella insurance is so much more expensive than it was a few years ago. And is there even any value to having umbrella insurance if the lawyers will just find out you have assets and go after them anyway? Or will lawsuits tend to settle for policy limits if those limits are high enough?

   Also, can I just say that it’s kind of a scam that you lose ERISA protections when you roll over retirement plan assets?

   1. Often you can roll them over to a new employer’s 401K. It doesn’t have to go into an IRA. What specific protection are you looking at? I’m still mostly concerned with creditors (grandpa drives when he shouldn’t and gets sued to pieces or an accident takes you out and you are drowning in medical debt).

   2. I’m interested in hearing how others thought about it, but I set the umbrella limit to be higher than the value of our primary residence and a rental property we own, combined.

   3. You also don’t get ERISA protections if you work for any kind of government agency, including a state university, which both my spouse and I do, so we have a lot of umbrella insurance. So yeah, I agree that it seems like a scam that we think that you should save for retirement and those accounts should be protected from lawsuits… unless you work for the government, are self employed, or happen to leave your job and roll it over into an IRA. That just seems excessively arbitrary.

   4. i’ve never had umbrella insurance

   5. It’s been a while, so I don’t remember exactly how we came up with the amount, but it was a total of net worth — which included our primary home and a vacation home — plus X years of our combined salaries, then rounded up a generous amount.

   6. I take out the max. The point is to prevent your assets from being exposed. Buy coverage according to what you have and reasonably anticipate having.

   7. We have $1M of umbrella which is what my parents suggested when we bought our first house. We should probably have more now that our net worth is several times that, but I haven’t updated it.

   8. We have two teen boy drivers so we got the max umbrella that the insurance companies would give us.

   9. I have 2 million. My assets are quite a bit higher than this, so I am also considering increasing to a 5 million. I have State farm and do not think the cost is very expensive.

      The costs of medical judgements have skyrocketed. We are all going to be in multiple car accidents, and one could be serious, or your fault. And if you have cleaners in your house, uninsured workers, or a swimming pool / jungle gym / trampoline and have kids who invite their friends. Or kids at all. It seems like a necessity in this day and age.

   10. We cover our full net worth and adjust it up every year when we renew. Our last policy was still pretty reasonable, so hopefully this isn’t foreshadowing a giant rate hike looming.

3. If you could have one bag from Bottega Veneta, which one would it be and in what color? I struggle with bags for work (default to lightweight nylon laptop totes) and fun bags (either evening bags/clutches or slouchy nylon day bags for Saturday).

   I made partner but had a miscarriage the same day and never celebrated that milestone because I was so upset. A Bottega bag is still a splurge, but I am going in circles about getting a non-work bag for a work milestone or a more general “adult” bag because at this point, just surviving is milestone enough.

   1. I’d want to try them on IRL but I would love the Small Andiamo crossbody in the Tannin color – sized that it can actually hold things like sunglasses case + phone + essentials, but small enough to go day-to-night.

      1. Small Andiamo is a good pick, I also really like the Veneta if you want something with more capacity.

   2. I feel like if you’re spending that much money, it should be something you love and something that is distinctive and punchy instead of basic/workwear-y.

      Congrats on making partner!

      1. Agreed! And for me, that would be the medium sardine

   3. I would avoid anything that screams of the moment too much. So I’d probably go for a clutch or something like that–it’s a shape that I’ll get years of dinners and special events use out of vs. the same shoulder bag that every influencer is carrying.

   4. Not what you are asking, but for the price of a luxury bag, I would rather buy fine jewellery.

   5. Late to post – go on holiday, whether its Europe, NYC, Vegas, etc. Drink too much at lunch and go to designer row. The right bag to celebrate will come to you, and it is never the bag you thought you’d buy. Never regretted one of these purchases.

4. Oooh please fix the link! Looks cute

5. Family of four with a three and nine-year-old. Live in Boston and we’re looking to do a Florida Gulf Coast vacation the third week of April next year. The second weekend of that week we have to be in Atlanta for a family wedding and we’ve toyed with driving. My kids can handle it, even with the one-way rental it’s considerably cheaper than flying, and my husband went to college in a remote town that happens to be approximately midpoint on the drive which would make for a fun/easy stop… so I feel strongly we can make that work.

   That said, where do we go in Florida? Clearwater is further north, which would help from the drive perspective. I’ve also looked at Marco Island. I have no experience on the Gulf Coast. JW Marriott Marco Island and The Sandpearl in Clearwater have been on our radar. Any experiences with the latter in particular? I have Marriott status, which usually makes me a Marriott snob, but I don’t want to skip over something that might be really great…. Thoughts? Other recs? Help!

   1. St George Island! North Florida is beautiful that time of year and everything is blooming. If you’re into hiking and nature, Wakulla Springs State Park is on the way to the coast, Torreya State Park is perfection that time of year, and waaaay off the beaten path, pitcher plants are putting a show on at Wright Lake (in the national forest north of St George). You’d be renting a beach house rather than doing a hotel, but there are tons to choose from. IMO, Bayside is better than Gulfside, but I like the marsh nature watching better than just looking at sand. Your preferences may vary.

   2. What about the beaches around Destin or Pensacola? Shaves a couple hours off your drive to Atlanta, and there are several highly-rated Marriott properties along that stretch.

      1. Too cold to get in the water on the panhandle that time of year. I’ve been on Memorial Day weekend where as far up and down the beach as i could see it was me and half a dozen or less other people in the water.

      2. It depends what you consider too cold. It’s too cold for southerners. But Op is coming from Boston and may swim in New England beaches, which are colder in August than Destin is in April. I had zero issues in Destin water in April but we spend our summers in Maine.

         We loved the Destin area as well. Even if you don’t want to swim in the ocean there’s plenty to do and the beaches are so beautiful. It’s my favorite part of Florida and I’ve been to many parts of the state.

   3. I haven’t been personally, but my parents love Seaside (in the 30A/Lower Alabama part of the Gulf). And it would be a much shorter drive than the Tampa/St Pete area

      1. Should have mentioned…. That’s too close to certain family who will insist on hopping in the car to join (trust me on that…).

   4. As a veteran of a similar drive: I do not care what the maps tell you, go down interstate 81 to get to Atlanta. Bypassing the traffic and the tolls will make this markedly easier.

      Clearwater is great.

   5. We were in Clearwater in December 2017 and it felt very vacant. We wondered if this was because of the Scientology presence and very little else. My BFF who lives in Atlanta loves Sanibel and has gone many times with and without her elementary school age children; she says the shells and beaches are fabulous.

   6. Beautiful time of year to go to the southern Gulf, but no resort advice as we prefer renting a condo.

      1. La Playa in north Naples is one to add to your list, though. Tons of families there and my only experience with the Marriott on Marco is sales bros who went there for a top seller conference… so ymmv depending on whether there’s any corporate event going on at that time.

   7. i’ve heard great things about the JW Marriott Marco Island. it’s on my list of places to try with my kids

      1. I’ve been. It’s ok. I think it’s overhyped/overpriced, but I’m not a huge fan of Marco in general.

      2. I have been there for a work trip and it is lovely. You can walk to things from it.

         Clearwater = Scientology central and I would avoid because it seems so creepy.

   8. We had a great time in Crystal River, Florida. We had one beach day, but it was chilly for the beach so we spent more time kayaking with the manatees, biking through a state park, swimming (in wetsuits) in the springs with the manatees, and tubing down Rainbow River. Very cool trip with lots of Florida nature.

      1. April isn’t manatee season

   9. I took my young kids to the Sand Pearl in Clearwater for Thanksgiving when they were 3 and 1 and it was great. We did a one bedroom with kitchen, and it was a very luxurious space. The bathtub was swimming pool sized for a kid, which they loved after being sandy in the ocean. The swimming pool itself was warm even though it was only 70s outside. The food options were perfect for a family–poolside grill and full restaurant option. We did a dolphin cruise, and we would have gone to the aquarium but the kids loved hanging out at the beach. We’re not fancy people, and the hotel kinda ruined my kids’ expectations for what’s normal, hah.

      1. If you happen to see this, was it recently? Post hurricane Ian?

   10. Do not drive to South Florida from Atlanta unless you want to spend 8+ hours in a car in the misery and boredom of 75.

       If you want to be in the 5+ hour range and don’t want to go to 30a, I would say Mexico Beach, Cape San Blas, Apalachicola, etc. Everywhere from PCB west will only be 1-2 hours from 30a. You could try Orange Beach etc. in Alabama. The gulf coast has the best beaches. It will be spring break though anywhere along that stretch in April.

   11. We took our 2 kids (6 and 9) to Clearwater Beach last month – we stayed at the JW Marriott and had a fabulous time. Apparently the Clearwater Beach resort is only a few years old and it was beautiful. The service was excellent as well. The only downer was the seaweed in the ocean, but it didn’t stop us from enjoying the beach.

6. For those of you who are co-parenting in a high conflict dynamic, what are your strategies to not let it affect you and your day to day? I’m coparenting a young child with someone who has previously mostly left us alone aside from a few scheduled visits per year and weekly Facetimes, but now wants a lot more involvement and is moving back to our state. I’m getting a lawyer and will figure out a formal custody plan (not sure what it’s going to look like), but what was once a fairly amicable arrangement has turned very sour and hostile (especially after me setting some boundaries). My priority is shielding my child from all this (I’m never saying anything negative about her dad that she can hear, and always encourage her to go have fun with him when it’s his time) and providing stability for her. I’m also cooperating to get him time to see her, but no longer allowing him into my home.

   Would love to hear about your experience, and in particular if things thawed over the years and turned into something more amicable and collaborative. It’s exhausting, and I have a big job to manage on top of all this.

   1. How old is the child? When they are little, the relationship is about giving parents time with the child that the parents control. As kids age, it can become more important to maintain the kid’s schedule with the adults providing rides / dinner and not making holidays miserable (no kid needs Lunch Thanksgiving and Dinner Thanksgiving — alternate years or just do two but on different weekends). No kid should have to give up scout camp because it’s mom’s weekend — let them go to camp and then plan something fun another weekend. A flexible parent has a happy kid who isn’t stressed out trying to make the parents happy or not explode-y.

   2. Were you the one who posted about ex/child’s father wanting to stay with you and needing to find a way to make that not happen? If so, you have my sympathies for what sounds like a really hard situation. Do you have support from family and friends in this (and a great attorney)?

      1. Yup, that’s me. I set some boundaries for the first time, and as expected that did not go down well. He is moving to a place around 2 hours away (he got a job offer there) and unilaterally decided that a good plan was for him to come and stay with us (in my house, which is small) every other weekend. I told him I’m not comfortable with that plan, and everything fell apart after that. He also does not contribute in any way financially, but yet he expects me to continue to accommodate him. I’m trying to focus on what matters- my daughter’s happiness and well-being (which includes a stable routine but also a loving relationship with both her parents, I recognize that), and I’m really trying to re-set back to a cooperative mindset, but at this point I’m quite fed up. (And yes, I am getting a lawyer.)

         1. Good for you for setting the boundary – if you had given in, I’m sure he would have just made everything worse in many other ways (given how he acted when you said no). Please report back and hopefully you can find a lawyer who is ready to play ball.

         2. That is an incredibly unreasonable demand. I’m so sorry you have to juggle this.

         3. Get a lawyer versed in domestic violence.
            Call a DV hotline and figure out a safety plan + strategies to handle him.
            Get a co-parenting app and don’t communicate via phone.

            So sorry that you’re going through this- what a nightmare.

   3. A friend of mine was getting nasty texts from her ex for a very long time. By switching all communications to the app “My Family Wizard”, she stopped getting inundated with horrible late night texts and her life is much, much better. My Family Wizard is also an excellent record of what has transpired between the parties, which is useful information for a judge. Everything between the two of you should be in writing and go through My Family Wizard other than if someone is running 15-20 min late for a pick up.

7. My birth family is in free fall after my mother died. My sister isn’t talking to me any more. I’m not sure that my dad knows? It would be distressing to him, so I haven’t brought it up. She and my dad were never close and there was some drama when mom was sick and then later over money. I was sort of caught in the middle (not my choice) and while we lived far away, I thought we were friendly if never going to be besties.
   Anyway, I am bit curious about Prince Harry moving back to the UK. At least no one in my family is going on TV and writing a book, but for when I next encounter my sister (upcoming family wedding, but not sure if we will both be invited), I have no idea how it will go. Families are tricky.

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