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Workwear sales of note for 3.24.23:
- Ann Taylor – 40% off everything
- Athleta – 20% off shorts, swim, linen & more
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
- Boden – Up to 50% off
- Brooks Brothers – Clearance styles to 70% off. Some pretty serious markdowns!
- Express – 40% off dresses & tops
- J.Crew – 25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 15% off 3 styles; extra 20% off 4 styles; extra 50% off clearance
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty
- Talbots – 25% off select styles; 25% off markdowns
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- What are your favorite parts of a typical day?
- At what point in your life (age, income level, whatever) were you able to take an annual vacation?
- What shoes can I keep at the office to go for mid-day walks (that go with everything)?
- How do you release stress or trauma that’s stored in the body?
- What are the best “networking for women events” you’ve ever been to?
- I feel like we’re burning through any savings we acquire…
- I hate my job and make 30% of what DH makes – should I quit?
- What do you keep in your office?
Love how form-fitting it is and love the detailed collar. I would pull my hair back and wear cute stud earrings and be excited to go to work! :)
Me to! I love this and it is NOT expensive. I think I will look good in this! Thanks Kat!
$260 is “NOT” (in capitals no less) expensive to you? bravo.
For a blazer, I would say $260 is pretty standard. Is it a lot of money? Yes. But is it a lot of money or expensive for a blazer? Not particularly.
I smell trolls.
Yeah, check out Amanda’s comments from yesterday. I think she’s Ellen/Alan.
This reminds me of that Classiques jacket from a while back whose colar reminded people of something else entirely. . . .
I have the same problem with this one.
Georgia O’Keefe perhaps?
Not so fast. I think this has potential if you pair it with a simple goat hair skirt and shoeties…
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that. But the jacket probably doesn’t look that O’Keefey in person. Or at least I hope.
SF Bay Associate
Ha! So true!
For serious. Shudder.
Couldn’t afford it anyway and at least now I don’t want it! Ha.
Glad I could help ;)
My thoughts as well. I instantly thought of another fashion blog that does a regular, multi-part feature on clothes that look like ….. well, you know. And how appropriate this jacket would be in that collection.
That is the first thing I thought! It’d be like the jacket is birthing you.
Yes. I imagine this would be a screenshot if “Avatar” had an explicit birth scene….
And now I’m repulsed by this formerly-lovely shade of gray. Must unsee.
LOL! It’s still a beautiful gray jacket, minus the “statement” collar.
I could have sworn there was post a while back about shoes to wear with Navy clothes, but can’t find it — maybe it was a thread discussion? Can anyone direct me to it? Thank you!
I recall that it said black or cordovan (those dark maroon-y shoes that are easy to find for men, not so much for women) are dressy and brown takes it down a notch.
Totally depends on the outfit and season, but I wear nude, brown, red, burgandy, purple, and — once in a while — navy. I never wear black w/ navy b/c i just dont like it. I know “they” say its ok these days, but to me it still just looks like you were not sure if your suit/shoes were black or navy.
I also dont think brown makes it less formal/dressy in general, but it can, depsnding on your shoe. I brown patent with a skinny heal, for example, is likely to keep it dressy, while a chunkier/thicker heal in regular leather will make it less dressy.
Respectfully disagree about black shoes and navy. The only reason one would think you did not know you had paired them is if they believe there is a rule against pairing them. For me, a shiny black shoe with a navy suit is the epitome of formal businesswear. Just my conflicting opinion. I also really like cordovan/burgundy, and have had good luck finding them. I just make sure I buy them when I do see them.
It depends on the shade of navy. If it’s dark enough that it could be confused for black, better not to wear a black shoe – if it’s a more blue navy, there’s no possibility of confusion.
I prefer brights with navy – yellow or red pumps look great. Also fleshtone pumps.
Pewter, mustard yellow, olive, orange….
Love these and would add plum.
I recently moved cross-country with my husband for his residency, which began in July. I am still job seeking in this new location and finding the market quite discouraging, especially since I passed the bar in a different state. This week, there is a get-together for the spouses of new residents. I am planning on attending so that I can start making some new friends, but I am also thinking that it would be a great networking opportunity. So, I have a few questions:
1) Any suggestions on how to let these ladies (and perhaps men) know that I am looking for a job and would appreciate any leads? I don’t want to sound too desperate, obvious, or pushy.
2) Any suggestions on what to wear? Would my attire make a difference at this point?
3) Also, this is a hospital sponsored event but it is taking place at a home . . . do I need a hostess gift? If so, any thoughts?
Any thoughts are much appreciated! Thank you ladies!
Re: #1, when people ask what you do or how you’re adjusting to the new area, you can say that you’re looking for work, specify your field, and see if the person you’re talking to has any suggestions/ideas/contacts. Then ask ifyou can friend them on LinkedIn/follow up with an email/etc.
Re: #3, lots of talk about hostess gifts lately. If your hosts have outdoor space, a small plant (even just some cute annuals in a little flowerpot) might be nice – if you get the sense that they’re cooks, and you cook and/or garden, an herb plant (in a pot) would work, IMO.
1) Agree with the above in that the “what do you do?” question is bound to come up, and there’s your opportunity to explain your situation. if people have any help to offer, that’s when they’ll offer it.
2) Always dress nicely, but especially since you’re making a first impression here on several fronts (your new neighbors, your spouse’s new colleagues, your potential new friends and maybe even employers). I would go with a polished looking sundress, skirt + cute top, or pants + cute top. Cute meaning flattering, and not too revealing or casual. Look pulled together. Do not go with shorts and Ts, or a beer & BBQ kind of look.
And always bring a gift. The host/ess is doing plenty of work even if the hospital is paying for it. Flowers, wine, non-alcoholic drinks (see earlier thread), a summery house gift – I’ve seen pretty serving trays, glasses, pitchers, etc. would all work.
Good luck to you and your husband!!
In my experience, most of the residents’ wives will not be professionals, and some of them may even have chips on their shoulders when meeting someone who is. I would tread lightly, for sure. In other words, I would not dress like you are a professional – try to find out what others are wearing, and wear the same thing. I have been to a lot of these types of things, and I would ask all about what the other women do, then I would tell them I am a lawyer and . . . crickets. Nothing. So I would really get to know the hostess; she will be more well-connected anyway. And on that note, absolutely bring a thoughtful hostess gift.
Really? That hasn’t been my experience at all (lawyer and wife of a surgical attending at a teaching hospital in Boston). Sometimes, I get crickets when I say I’m a lawyer, but that has more to do with doctors’ fears/anger about malpractice claims than anything else. Also, all of the resident and fellow classes my husband has been a part of were at least 50% women (and his med school was 40% women), so the OP is very likely to meet husbands/boyfriends as well as wives/girlfriends.
Yeah, this doesn’t ring true to me either, especially at the resident level. While there is a migration to a spouse not working after the physician has finished residency, in most places the non-physicians income is very appreciated while the resident is making resident salary. Also, in surgery, which is traditionally male dominated, my program was over 30% women.
That being said, most of the residents will be clueless about job opportunities in your field, so focus on the spouses. They may have more leads, and additionally, as a former resident, I can tell you that having a support system in your new town that includes people married to residents will be enormously helpful. It may or may not help for your job search, it probably will help with your marriage and sanity over these difficult few years.
Also, spouses of attendings, if they are present, are good people to chat up.
Good luck; the economy is tough right now. Keep trying.
Hmmm . . . That’s interesting. I didn’t mean just people who stay at home, however. Really, all of the residents’ wives I know are teachers, so they all talk about teaching. I totally respect teachers and love to talk to them about what they do, but I never felt like the feeling was mutual. I am generally comfortable in any group of people, but I never have been with this group. Hopefully the experience will be very different for the OP. I am just suggesting that you be cautious about dropping the fact that you’re a lawyer. Good luck!
B23, this is a well-meaning heads up: you initially wrote that most of the wives you met were not professionals. Now you’ve elaborated that most are teachers. I assume you did not mean to say that teachers are not professionals. Thanks.
I realized after I wrote it that that sounded bad. I certainly did not mean anything of the sort, and I apologize. I just meant that a lawyer will be unique in these circles. I was referring to professional in the traditional sense (I think we discussed this earlier in the week).
I often experience the “crickets” moment after my DH introduces me to PA’s, nurses or doctors that work with him and they find out what I do… he often breaks the ice by saying that I specialize in suing [inserts their job titles… e.g. orthopedic surgeons] and of course one look at me smiling and shaking my head tells the person that he’s just joking. It always works and gets the conversation started again. Of course this really wouldn’t work if you do practice in some sort of malpractice field.
Hmmm…. certainly not my experience at all. However, my husband is a very female-dominated specialty, at the same time, there were quite a few males in his residency class, and the other spouses were either physicians or other types of professionals. I sense that you somehow put yourself above other spouses because you have a law degree, which may be the biggest problem here. Maybe that’s why people didn’t treat you as well as you wanted – maybe you’re the one with the chip on your shoulder!
3) A hostess gift would be a nice touch, but I would stick to something which is consumable. Chocolates or wine would be nice, but I would avoid knick-knacks.
Me too – I have found to my dismay that I have altogether more things than I need, or know what to do with, or even store, in my cramped quarters!
I can’t be alone on this, and heaven knows what their tastes are.
Yes, whatever you do, do NOT bring a Yankee Candle.
If you’re in a hot climate, I’d wear a sundress with a cardigan (in case the AC gets cold). If you’re somewhere with cool summers, dark denim with a pretty top. If you dress like you’re there to network, you’ll look horribly out of place.
I think you can mention you’re looking for a job if it comes up naturally in conversation (e.g. if someone says they work in your field, or asks what you’re doing in the new city, etc).
Yes, bring a gift. If you don’t know the hostess at all yet, flowers already in a vase are the best bet. You don’t want to bring wine only to find out she doesn’t drink, chocolates to find out she’s a health fanatic, etc.
I think a good outfit might be a denim pencil skirt, blouse and cardigan with some cute sandals. Nothing about that is out of place at a casual party, but you’ll still look put together and professional.
I’ve been in your spot and I commiserate! I think it’s ok to be obvious about looking for a job, but not desperate or pushy. Depending on your age and the ages of people there, be prepared for some Cliff and Claire Huxtable jokes :).
My husband and I have gotten the Huxtable comment more times than I can count over the years. And I must say that my experience has been that resident spouses are not a great source for career networking. It sounds like your event is hospital-wide, instead of program specific, which should help.
The 2 women in my husband’s class were married to other residents, 2 of the men were single and very interested in networking with me to be introduced to my law school classmates for dates, and the remaining wives stopped working when the first child was born – yes, every single one of them.
But they were great friends for the 3 years we were all together and I miss all of the families who have moved away. I recommend going to the party with making friends as your primary goal.
lol, that sounds about right
Just started watching Game of Thrones on demand. Was anyone else wondering why there are Fremen in the first episode? I’d think they would have a hard time finding spice in a snowy climate….
Keep watching! It will all come together.
Do you mean the Dothraki? It’s a whole world not just a snowy climate. the north is snowy not the whole world
I think she’s referring to the electric blue-eyed-ness of the Wildings/reanimated persons at the very beginning….Although its been awhile since I watched the first episode (or Dune), so I may be mistaken.
Oh, nerdLOL. How awesome would it be if a sandworm erupted beneath the Wall?
Best. crossover. ever.
Hahaha, awesome! I wonder if sandtrout would react to snow they same way they react to liquid water….
Dune humor. Love it.
Another reason to love Corporette.
Just wanted to say that I washed several lined wool suits in the washing machine (hand wash cycle) with The Laundress’s Wool and Cashmere Shampoo this past weekend and couldn’t be happier with the results. The fabric came out soft and no damage was done. I would recommend following the instructions on The Laundress’s website and steaming the fabric while still damp to remove wrinkles– I did this with the skirt but not the jacket and the skirt took way less time to steam and came out a bit nicer. The pieces are definitely less “stiff” looking than when you get them back from the cleaners, but they look fine. I didn’t do it as a timesaver or a money saver but because I am skeeved out by dry-cleaning chemicals and think they smell funny, and don’t want my daughter’s face or hands near them. Anyway, just thought I’d share.
Another option is look for a green dry cleaner. Some use only CO2 and no heat.
Thank you much for this information! I’ve been wondering whether I’m the only one who’s crazy in those ways–not liking dry-cleaning chemicals, and, when I do take my clothes to a green dry cleaner, not liking to spend the money or drive the extra distance to one that’s green. I won’t take my clothes to a non-green dry cleaner (I have allergies and sensitive skin, to boot), but the idea of using a washing machine on such expensive clothes is scary.
I hope more people who’ve tried carefully washing a suit (made of different materials, maybe?) will post their experiences…
I’ve had good luck machine washing all kinds of lined wool and synthetic suits. Only two problems I’ve noticed over the 5 or so years since I’ve abandoned the dry cleaner: (1) the wool suits in particular really need a good ironing after coming out of the machine; and (2) in some of my cheaper synthetic suits, the lining has worn out after several years of machine washing. My sense is that this problem could occur through natural wear and tear or through dry cleaning (which as I understand it is harder on the materials), though, so hard to say if this was a function of machine washing or not.
Over all, I’ve had great success, and I love how much cleaner my suits smell and feel than they did when I got them from the dry cleaner!
So your blazers retain their shape and everything? Man, you guys are rocking my world. I’d LOVE to wash my blazers and pants. I never feel like anything’s truly clean after it comes back from the drycleaner.
For the most part, yes, although as I mentioned sometimes wool or linen blazers come out a little crumpled and need an iron. No problems with stuff shrinking, with the exception of one CK ponte blue dress I got at the Nordie’s anniversary sale last year. Wasn’t happy about that one!
Using an iron frightens me because I once scorched something and had some stuff retain permanent shiny marks. I use a steamer, YMMV. You have to use an iron to put the creases back in your pants though, unless they are permanently creased. Also, I have had the linings in my suits wear out after several years of dry-cleaning, so that’s probably not related to washing. And yes, it actually smells and feels clean, unlike the dry-cleaned stuff. But I would maybe be careful with anything that is viscose or contains rayon.
If I have some pants (not highly tailored, expensive, or lined) that say “dry clean” and not “dry clean only” and they do include rayon, should I not wash them? What might happen to them? I swear I have pants made of similar fabric that are washable, so I’m not sure if the “dry clean” tag was added out of an abundance of caution or if there is some reason.
What cycle do you use?
And what detergent?
Sorry for the questions, and THANK YOU!
I always wash them on cold, usually on delicate or hand wash (but sometimes I forget to change the cycle back from normal and haven’t had problems). For a while I used Laundress delicates detergent, but then I got lazy and reverted back to my usual Tide. Haven’t seen any adverse effects yet.
I got a fabric steamer for christmas last year and it rocks my world. I haven’t used an iron since then.
So now hold the phone – I can throw my Brooks Brothers in the washing machine on delicate with the special detergent? And then steam/iron (after drip-dry/hang dry) and they’re good to go? Really?
This is one of the best threads EVER. Dry cleaning is expensive and time consuming and doesn’t really work.
I’m still a bit afraid to try it (not that I don’t trust the ladies here, it just scares me to dunk my suit jacket into water).
I recently bought a dark blue (essentially a bright-ish navy) cotton skirt suit. Would washing (as opposed to dry cleaning) it preserve the richness of the color best?
I wash my cotton Theory suit (unlined). I was unhappy with what dry cleaning was doing to the color, so I tried washing it on cold/delicate with the Laundress “darks” detergent. It has worked well. I also wash many of my Ann Taylor lined dresses on delicate/cold using the Laundress “delicates” detergent. They are acetate, I think. I love the Laundress products, which I buy at drugstore.com.
I also wash all of my wool and cashmere sweaters the same way. No drying though!
Related question: is there any (significant) difference between the “hand-wash” cycle and the “delicate” cycle? My old washer has both, but I just moved into an apartment with stackables (old set in storage for the hopefully short term apt. stay) and the washer just has a delicate cycle. I’ve been washing just about everything nice that I have in the hand-wash cycle (delicates, of course, but also tops, undies, slacks that I don’t dry clean, stockings and hose). Will I get the same results with the delicate cycle in the apt washer?
Lovelovelove these washing questions! I have an older washing machine that doesn’t even *have* a hand-wash cycle at all, so I’ve been wondering this, too…
I think “hand-wash” is more delicate than “delicate,” if that makes sense. I wash everything on “delicate” normally, but I wouldn’t wash stuff that I normally actually hand-wash (bras, certain dresses and silk tops) on the “delicate” cycle (I’ve never had a washer with a “hand-wash” cycle).
Hand-wash has pauses in the agitation, I think, to simulate swirling stuff around by hand.
This is what I’ve seen happen, too. On hand-wash cycle the barrel (front-load washer) turns a 1/2 rotation, then stops for a while, then turns again. It’s seems pretty similar to the actual hand-washing method of soaking clothes in cold water w/ detergent. then stirring the water+clothes gently.
Very appropriately timed post. I was debating last night whether I can throw a white tweed jacket into the machine.
I really love this jacket. Love the detailing on the collar and the front. Would just have to try on in person to make sure it wasn’t too linebacker-like! I hope it goes on further sale. :)
It looks a little too messy to me. I know the pleats and ruffles are the point of the jacket, but I just see wrinkles.
I like the texture and tailoring, but not the jersey. It could be so much more refined with a different fabric.
I would love to see this in a different fabric too. But I also like that this is so detailed and tailored, and yet probably pretty comfortable to wear. Love it it black.
Love the jacket, think it would look better with dark jeans than at work.
Threadjack – i am attending a wedding in Nebraska in a few weeks. Lutheran Church, daytime ceremony, reception, dinner.
What are the rules for attire here? Shoulders covered in church? No black? Flowery prints? Nothing too low cut? How long/short? I’m used to city weddings in the northeast …
Heh. I don’t know that such customs vary a lot, since I’m not Lutheran, but do you know which *flavor* of Lutheran church?
hmm no, actually. the Omaha flavor?? (I know that isn’t helpful).
I’m trying to figure out how much coverage I need (sleeveless? sleeveless but with a sweater for the church part? etc) and if any colors are off limits.
The Lutheran Church is split into three synods: Missouri, Wisconsin, and ELCA. Of these, the ELCA is most liberal. Wisconsin is the most conservative. Nonetheless, none of the synods are as conservative as you’re thinking. Sleeveless is fine. Black might get raised eyebrows, but that’s mostly because it’s the Midwest, not because it’s Lutheran – black at weddings is just more prevalent on the East Coast.
Personally, I’d wear a knee length dress with a cardigan, with the cardigan mostly as protection against an over-air conditioned church, but there are no rules beyond what you’d follow on the East Coast.
I can speak for the midwestern component and the church component – no all-over white (competing with the bride, although prints with a white background should be fine), no black (funerals), nothing too short (4 inches above the knee) or too low-cut (more than a hint of cleavage). Any dress shoes will go. Sleeveless is fine (I wouldn’t go strapless – or spaghetti-strap if you’re out of your teens). As long as you don’t look like you’re going clubbing after, the outfit should be perfectly kosher.
Grew up with a number of lutherans and don’t know of any religion-specific dress restrictions (nothing like sleeves / head coverings / long skirts, etc.).
I’m a Lutheran in Omaha. :)
IME, you don’t need to worry about covering your shoulders in church. I would wear a lovely cocktail or sundress, great shoes, etc. Black should be just fine. You might take a shrug or light wrap – if there’s AC in the church and it’s working, the 100+ w/ heat index outdoors vs. the AC indoors will be a big difference.
Omaha’s not fashion-forward, but it’s big enough for some decent shopping options, and of course anyone can shop online, so I wouldn’t expect people to be especially stuffy about clothing.
Lutheran churches tend to vary in conservativeness. Based on my experience in Catholic weddings in the southeast (I’m going to go out on a limb and say that they are generally comparable), I’d say you’re probably fine in anything that wouldn’t be scandelous, but it might be best to have at least a cardigan if you’re going strappy on top. I probably would avoid anything really short or low cut, but that would just be my general attitude at a wedding- as in, I don’t exactly want to be screaming “hey look at me.” (This is the part where I pretend that I have such an impressive body that it would literally take away attention from the bride on her wedding day.)
Nice sun dress or general skirt and top should be fine.
You can probably find the church online, and see if it’s ELCA or Missouri Synod. I belong to an ELCA congregation on the East coast, and it’s not particularly conservative, so for that, I think “not scandalous” is good advice. If, however, it’s a Missouri Synod church (a more conservative branch of Lutherans), I’d aim for something dressier, and more covered up. I went to Easter service once at a Missouri Synod church, because was all I could find nearby while traveling, wearing what I would normally wear for Easter, and felt underdressed. Since then, I’ve tended to think of going to a Missouri Synod service as similar to going to a conservative Jewish service, if that makes sense.
This. As a Lutheran from the Midwest, see if the chgurch has a website – it will likely identify its affiliation. If it is a Missouri or Wisconsin Synod church it will be the most conservative of the bunch; if it’s an ELCA, you’ll be good in most anything. But it’s always nice to have a cardigan or wrap of some kind if there is overactive AC.
I have a comment in moderation that echo this opinion exactly…
In my experience, ELCA in the midwest is fairly liberal for a demoninational church. Had a lesbian pastor growing up. Missouri Synod is wayyyyyy conservative in my experience. Fire and brimstones, we’re all going to hell if you believe in evolution. My friend in Omaha sent her daughter for 1 yr to a Missouri Synod preschool thinking it would be “fine” — the girl was learning about people playing with dinosaurs before Eve sinned…so, find out if its ELCA or Missouri Synod.
Anonymous Poser has a good point–I grew up going to a Lutheran church in Ohio. That church was ELCA which is the more liberal branch (generally) so pretty much anything was OK attire-wise. Other branches, such as Missouri Synod, can be more conservative so maybe the clothing would be expected to be more conservative.
Generally, if you have a cardigan or wrap you can (a) make a basic LBD a bit more festive and colorful and wedding-y and (b) you’re prepared if shoulders are expected to be covered. That’s what I would probably do, and would probably stick to nothing too short (probably knee length or so) and nothing too low cut. It might not be the *most* fashionable thing to wear, but that way you shouldn’t stick out for good or for bad. Maybe some Nebraska ‘rettes have some better suggestions.
Didn’t see your earlier reply–I would think sleeveless would be fine and a lot more comfortable this time of year! I’d bring the sweater/wrap “just in case”–you can always take it off, you’re covered if you need to be and in case the AC is working overtime, you have something to keep warm if you’re like me and always cold.
Thank you, everyone, for your advice and for this mini-education on the Lutheran Church! I had no idea.
Me either! We should have a “guide to weddings” for various regions, religions, branches, sub-branches. Thank goodness I work at a law firm and had plenty of Jewish co-workers to grill on wedding attire for my last Conservative Jewish wedding (elbows, knees, collarbones covered.)
I live in Omaha, NE and have been to weddings in Lutheran churches. Black will be fine. Just because it’s the midwest doesn’t mean people don’t wear black, even to weddings! Sleeveless will be fine as well, although as others have mentioned, you may want a cardigan simply because the church will be air conditioned. Otherwise I would say the same “rules” apply as to what you would normally wear to a wedding – not too low cut, not too short, etc.
It will be hot and humid here. We’re currently in that midwest heat wave so the temps have been around 100 with heat indexes up to 115. Hopefully that will be over by the time you get here, but it will still be somewhat hot and humid. Hope you enjoy your time here and have fun at the wedding!
While I think there is a regional element to wearing black, I think it depends on the bride/family more than the religion or location. Some couldn’t care less, while to others black is a funeral color not appropriate for weddings and see it as rude. I don’t subscribe to this latter view but I have seen a mother and a grandmother (at different weddings) upset about guests in black.
I love, LOVE this. That shade of grey is my favorite.
I owe you all a huge “thank you!” After many years at biglaw, I finally admitted I hated the job and had to get out. But where to? I looked for a long time and finally found a position in law (but not a firm) that pays a lot less, but has predictable hours and more interesting work. During the darkest days of my practice, you were all there providing inspiration, hope that there is a life beyond a law firm, and funny comments to keep me going. Without you guys, I don’t know how I would have done it. And now I have the dream job and can’t wait to get started–I might even look forward to going to the office every day. Imagine that!
P.S. Sorry to be so vague about where I’ve been and where I’m going; a lot of people at my firm follow this blog and I don’t want them to know just how happy I am to be getting out!!
Congratulations! I am hoping to be where you are as soon as possible. Came in the office a little down as I have really had it up to my neck with biglaw and i am desperately searching for an out and recently found out I did not get my dream job. But your post is an encouragement to persevere. thanks for posting.
Congratulations! I know how you feel, although my circumstances haven’t changed like yours. But I do feel like this blog is a highlight of my day!
Congratulations and Good Luck!
Congratulations! Very happy for you.
A PSA from someone who made a similar move a little while ago— Please be prepared for some culture shock, and a feeling of stress/uselessness/even “laziness” as you adjust to working a predictable and (I hope) more reasonable schedule… I spent the first months at my new job having anxiety attacks on the weekends because I felt like I was missing something or should be working. I also had trouble getting out of the billable hour mindframe; I didn’t feel comfortable leaving the office when I was done for the day. I was like the guy in Shawshank Redemption who finally got out of prison and couldn’t adjust to life outside the walls. It’s different now—fabulous—but there was an unexpected adjustment. Enjoy!
And congrats!!! Best decision I’ve ever made and I hope you’ll feel the same!
My husband may be going to work in Argentina for a few weeks. He has a Verizon cell phone and from what I’ve seen online the price for using it there is insane. Any experience with this? Or any thought on buying a phone in Argentina to make calls? TIA!
Your husband needs a Skype account! It’s far and away the easiest & cheapest way to place international calls regularly. He may need an Argentinian phone for local calls.
Specifically re: Verizon- I’m not familiar with mobile technology in South America, but I know that the specific bandwidth Verizon uses is not compatible with mobile networks in Europe or Asia. I travel frequently and that was a primary factor in my staying with AT&T after iPhone opened up on Verizon.
Will you get to visit Argentina, too?
I forgot about the Skype app for Droids and there is free wifi in his hotel. Thanks! I’m hoping to make it over there for a week if I can work some magic with the plane ticket. They’re around $1200 now.
Don’t just use the Skype app for Droids. The data charge could be enormous. He’d incur extra charges for using data outside the US. He should get a headset and use Skype on his laptop, on the hotel’s internet.
Not true. As long as he connects to the app via wifi and not through 3G, he won’t get charged roaming fees.
She was saying he’d use it over the free wifi, which is fine and won’t incur data charges. Just make sure it’s not accidentally set to automatically connect to the wireless network (in the event Argentina even has a roaming option for this particular Verizon phone; Verizon generally operates over CDMA which Argentina doesn’t really have, but some phones have built in GSM for just this purpose).
LLM in BsAs
This exactly. I’m in Argentina and Verizon is generally not supported. Pay-as-you-go phones are readily available though, so if he has an unlocked phone, GSM technology he should be ok for local calls. Long distance may be harder.
Definitely wifi only. We were able to use the internet easily in Mexico without incurring any charges just by leaving the phones on airplane mode and activating wifi.
I don’t know how their cell phone systems work in argentina specifically, but if pay-as-you-go phones are popular, I’ve had good luck just buying a cheap local phone and some minutes when I got there (this is best if you mainly need it for local calls rather than international). otherwise, there’s always skype.
Pay as you go phones are popular there–I bought a crappy phone and just refilled it. Good for local calls, not for international calls.
any advice on dealing with more senior associates hoarding work?
At the moment, work is on the slow side in my group and I feel that the attorneys (senior associates and senior counsel) more senior to me are hoarding it to keep themselves busy. I am a midlevel. What should I do?
Can you try talking to the assigning partner (if there is one) or one of the partners? Otherwise, if everyone you normally talk to insists that there’s no work for you, try to see if you can get a pro bono project or write an article, or speak at a CLE, etc., to keep yourself busy during the slow time.
Rebekah Brooks may have dubious morals (if allegations prove true) but she does have great hair!
LOL – since the first time I saw a pic of her, I’ve been thinking the very same thing.
I am really happy to see women lauding curly hair. I have straight hair, but my 10 year old daughter has curls just like Rebekah’s and of couse she thinks she’s cursed!
Agreed. And, it’s nice to see her wear it as it is. I feel like I have heard so many comments about how hair like hers must be cut or pulled back or otherwise tamed, and it’s nice to see a woman at the top of her totem pole (or at least having been) not doing any of that.
Anonymous this once
I’m hating my problems with DH right now.
Maybe he has maladaptive personality traits, maybe I do.
But he wont go into therapy, he wont tell me whats wrong – I suspect its the pressure of work he cant deal with – and he is absolutely *the pits* to live with.
Will not communicate, will recede into this shell and be so unreachable and cold…
I have 55lbs to lose – basically put those on as the personal problems and job related dilemmas were at their worst.
Recently started on a regular fitness routine and lost 5-10 of those, over hte last 19 days.
After a particularly bad time, tried to talk to him, after waiting to cool down, but got rebuffed big-time. Now Ive just binged on an enormous double ice-cream sundae :(
And I was really working on quitting the whole emotional overeating trap:(
And we have a beautiful little girl. Who adores her Daddy. Sob…
I’m sorry – I know this is not the right forum for this. Was on here trying to take my mind of of this.
Oh, I am so sorry. *hugs* – Of course this is the right forum for this. Half the point of the comment thread is for people to say what is on their minds. Congrats for taking steps to take care of your health. Sometimes just starting is the hardest part…and everyone has set backs with their fitness routine. No advice w/r/t your relationship issues, but hope you are able to work things out.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I will not pretend to know how you feel, or know what’s going on. I do know from personal experience that when your spouse shuts you out, you can’t just sit down and say “honey, when you do this, it makes me feel like that”… it’s just not that easy. You mentioned that he is refusing therapy but are you seeing a therapist? It sounds like you really need some solid advisors on your side to help you keep perspective, help you manage your way through this and help you keep yourself and your daughter healthy in as many ways as possible. We will all keep you in our thoughts.
Even if he won’t go to therapy, you should. You need to find ways to healthfully cope with stress, and to be able to better process the signals he’s giving you. You can’t change someone else or force them to do something, but sometimes you can change yourself in ways that make the whole situation better.
Best of luck in what must be a stressful time.
Thanks. I’m the original poster from above.
Im trying to think about all the terrible things in the world right now and keep it in perspective. Our relationship has (obviously) not been great for a while so its not like the ground under my feet/ centre of my universe is shaking but…
I guess Im upset because Im trying so hard to make this work because of my – no, OUR – little girl.
Now please nobody give me slack for that last comment. I dont have the energy to explain, and no, this is not a troll either.
We work in diverse fields and he is unlikely to get work anywhere near where my permanent job is so the *separation* will come, although perhaps not soon enough.
I changed career paths taking up something with PM&R bacause of her, giving up the more challenging worklife I wanted before. Not that I have regrets but that’s how hard I tried to give her a good start.
Sorry was trying to reply 114.
“The bravest battle that ever was fought
Shall I tell you where and when?
In the maps of the world you would find it not
It was fought by the mothers of men.”
All this self-pity is not helping and I don’t want to be caught sobbing into a computer screen.
Thanks everyone for the wishes and good thoughts.