ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Valencia Blouse

blue mock neck blouse

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

The gorgeous color of this Aritzia blouse is what initially caught my eye, but the beautiful details are what really drew me in. The smocking details and drapey fabric would look beautiful tucked into a pencil skirt or layered underneath a basic blazer.

I would wear this with a charcoal suit for a more formal day or with some navy ankle pants and loafers for a more casual day.

The blouse is $98 at Aritzia and comes in sizes XXS–XXL. It also comes in five other colors.

Sales of note for 12.5

316 Comments

  1. Writing to let you know that the algorithms decided I needed to know that there was a Laura Ashley -Batsheba collaboration. It is very demented housewife (and yet not a Don’t Worry Darling tie-in). Maybe I will get the oven mitts and make some killer salad dressing while my nanny tears up her NDA that maybe I forgot to get back a signed copy of?

    1. The Batsheva + Laura Ashley gathered printed cotton-poplin midi dress in pastel yellow on net-a-porter is terrifying. I would never be able to take myself seriously, and wouldn’t be able to stop giggling while trying it on.

          2. I kinda do too! It would also be the BEST thing to taunt my husband with the possibility of wearing this in public on a date with him. All in good fun of course, but man, he already gets nervous when i reach for my brightly colored platform crocs for a grocery run haha.
            (obviously i wear what i want)

        4. So some intern found the wikipedia for a Mother Hubbard and decided to make one, and they just went with it?

    2. I love this and I would wear it everywhere, with some doc martens, an army jacket, and a very high bun.

    3. I applaud the young people who can wear these ironically, I just look like some fourth or fifth wife that wandered off the desert compound.

  2. Fun question: is anyone dressing up at the office or for WFH video meetings for Halloween?

    For the first time in memory we have been encouraged to dress in “festive attire suitable for the occasion” (whatever that means). I am planning an all-black outfit with a pop of orange but cannot wait to see what some of my office mates come up with. Our return to office “elevated business casual” dress code has been the Wild West so far and I imagine an actual, HR-sanctioned costumed day will not disappoint.

    1. Haha, that’ll be fun. Report back. It is reading week here so I’ll be at home writing but apparently Halloween is a big deal in the region I teach in. So it’s probably good there’s no teaching next week.

    2. I’m not; however, a friend has informed me that she’s going to be going as a hobbit.

      She is somebody who is always cold and works from a very cold space… so she’s frequently wearing a sweater, a shawl, fingerless gloves, etc… so she’s just going all the way as it’s been her joke that she is working from her ‘hobbit hole’.

      2. My friend has started calling this season ‘hobbit girl fall’. Holing up, drinking tea, baking bread, soup season, being cosy, elevenses, six meals a day, and naps? Sounds perfect.

      3. How do the bare feet of hobbits work into this equation? Or did she get some of the slippers that actually look like hobbit feet?

        1. Update: I just texted her this and she replied ‘Crocs with men’s crew socks over the top covered with some pantyhose.’

          2. How to make hobbit feet w/crocs:
            https: // www. superpunch. net / 2022 / 10 / how-t o-make- homemade- hobbit -feet. html
            (remove the spaces)

    3. We’ll be at a client’s on Monday, so probably not, but this does give me the opportunity to share our handing-out-candy getup: the dog will have on a bandanna and a cap to look like Russell, the boy scout from UP; I will be wearing golden retriever ears; and my husband, who hates dressing up but owns some cardigans and has very square framed glasses, will be an effortlessly grumpy Carl.

      2. I love an effortless costume. My husband is frequently The Dude from clothes in his own closet (yes, he owns that Pendleton cardigan.) We just add a White Russian/Caucasian cocktail and he wears his sunglasses.

    4. Not that I had thought of before, but now YES I will do this for my Zoom meetings! I have a Cruella wig and a black/white dress and will go for the Emma Stone red lip/black eyeliner as well.

      2. Oohhh I wish we could share pics here! I’d love to see that makeup look

        Also, I thought that Emma Stone movie was great

    5. Yep! My office does a Halloween party and costume contest every year. Some people get very in to the costumes. Only rules are “office appropriate.” In honor of Phantom of the Opera closing (and because I’m feeling lazy and already had most of the costume), I’m going as the Phantom. In the past I’ve done a pirate, Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany’s, a witch, Devil’s advocate (yes, we’re a law office), and several other things I’m now forgetting.

    6. My office does a big event. Employees with children bring them in for a parade and trick or treating. I will be dressing as Moira Rose. In the “garbage bag” dress. I have plenty of candy to hand out to the bebe’s as they parade by.

        1. 100% guaranteed! I’m practicing my accent all weekend around my family so I’m fully prepared.

    7. I’m going in the easy (and office-appropriate) Little Red Riding Hood. I have an awesome hooded cape from Etsy in red and will tie my hair back with a red ribbon and find a handled basket. = easy peasy

    8. I wear my one prada jacket and throw devil horn headband in my purse. Business if I need to and insta costume if that’s needed. Dull but I’m not big on Halloween.

    9. This would very much not be my office’s vibe, which I am actually okay with. I was supposed to go to a Halloween party this weekend, which would have been fun but the couple that was hosting it just broke up so that’s a no-go now.

      My mom is a middle school teacher though and each year all of the teachers come up with a theme and dress up together, which I think is fun.

    10. I have a Zoom panel job interview that day. Imagining options now and cracking myself up.

      1. Ps we get hundreds of trick or treaters every year so we always dress up. Even the dog (hot dog English Bulldog.) The cat brothers refuse, though.

    12. Today is “dress up day (observed)” at my office and so I am wearing my traditional “costume”: a $5 T-shirt from Target with a sparkly pumpkin on it.

      On Monday, I’ll be on an airplane and then in meetings, so I will not be festive.

  3. I’m feeling fairly burnt out about most work related things- while things are slower at work now, I’m not in a good position to fully take time off. what are ways to get back into fighting shape given that?

    1. No advice but commiseration… I was literally coming on to post the exact same thing! My current thought is to commit to walking 30 minutes a day. Hoping that going back to a regular walking routine will help (especially as winter is coming).

    2. Can you start late, take a long lunch, or leave early a few days when the weather is good?Sneak in a hike or a lunch with friends, something outdoors to feel decidedly different than work time.

    3. I like to call it microdosing self care. Little things that just help you feel a little better. Here are some of my favorites:

      – A sheet mask during a boring audio only conference call (WFH is best here…)
      – Walking on the treadmill during a call I just need to mostly listen in on
      – Really good, healthy meal prep and focusing on nourishing my body during the day
      – Block off an hour and just go through your inbox while listening to music

      1. Oh I’ve been referring to it as microdosing vacation this year! In a place in my life (full time work, part time grad school) where I have neither the time or money to take vacations for the next 2 years so I microdose it!

        Luckily my aunt has a beach house so I do get a handful of beach days a summer so I’m not truly deprived. But it’s still not the same!

    4. Some of the hardest times at work are when I have stuff to do but not nearly enough to fill a day. I end up procrastinating and feeling generally blah for days or weeks at a time. Then I get crazy busy and kick myself for not doing XYZ when I had time. It helps to set a schedule for myself. I will do A by noon, B by 3 pm, and so on.

  4. Regional occasion cash gift questions:

    1) bat mitzvah for our daughter’s best friend. Boston suburbs. Our whole family is invited, though it’s really because our daughter is her best friend (we are friendly, but not family friends). How much cash, and what is a good token non-cash gift? We are not Jewish and it’s our first friend to have a mitzvah. Back when I was a kid it was ~$50 cash or equivalent gift but that was 100 years ago.

    2) my youngest cousin’s wedding. He’s in his 20s, last of the cousin crew to get married. He was like 8 when I got married ;).

    My whole family of 5 is invited and will attend. We have plenty of money to be generous, so I want to be generous without being showy or dwarfing closer family’s gifts (if that’s a thing).

    We all live in MA but the wedding is in NH.

    1. If you are close cousins, $250 isn’t too much, especially with your whole family attending. For the bat mitzvah, if you are all attending I would say $125 or thereabouts (people do numbers related to $18, so could be $108, $126, $144, $118, $136 or just plain $125 or $150 if you’re more comfortable). If just your daughter was attending I’d say $50 or $72 at most.

      1. My gut was more like $300-500 for the cousin and more like $180 for the bat mitzvah + small gift. Are those in danger of looking out of touch?

        My anchors were (1) I brought $50ish bat mitzvah gifts in the mid 90s and (2) we spend ~$30 on presents for close friends bday parties around here. This is a Big Deal and it’s her bestie and the whole family is invited.

        1. Your ranges don’t seem out of touch to me. I would probably give $500 to the cousin and his wife (but based on later comments, $300 also seems fine), and $180 + small gift to the friend.

        2. I don’t think that’s too much. I gift around $100 when I go to a wedding alone and at least $150 if I bring a guest. $500 for a family of five seems reasonable, especially for a family member.

          Also, as someone in my early 30s, I wouldn’t worry about your cousin thinking you were too generous. He is just going to be happy for the money

    2. For the Bat mitzvah I’d stick to multiples of 18 and five at least 180. Of your daughter was going alone I’d give at least 36 as a frame of reference. For the wedding, I’d give at least $500 since all 5 of you are going. When it was just me and my SO at my cousins wedding this summer I NYC I have $300.

      1. $500 is steep for New England IMO. I think you are safe w/ $250. I did about that amount but in registry stuff for the wedding we went to this summer (also in NH).

        1. Anon from above, I guess NYC is different. I always have $150 per adult. Also, sorry for the typos!!!

          1. yes, nyc is a different ballgame. I married someone from the NY area, but got married in DC and lets just say my MIL’s friends were very very generous in comparison with my parents very well-off DC area friends.

      2. No advice on the bat mitzvah but for the wedding gift, I’d go $250-300ish, about the going rate for non-NYC NE I think.

        I was in the middle of my ‘cousin wedding’ pack and while adult cousins gave separate gifts from their parents (and generally less than their parents gave), anyone college age or younger didn’t give a separate gift, and the parents’ gift wasn’t any different than the parents of adult cousins. So, I don’t think the fact your group is 5 (2 adults, 3 kids) means you have to give a larger gift.

        1. $250 is the going rate per couple for weddings in my circles in Ohio. Was around $200 when I got married 10 years ago. So for a family of 5, I’d give at least $400. I think parent gifts have to account for the kids because kids still are a cost per plate (other than toddlers).

      3. I am from New England and then I got married four years ago, most Nee England people gave $100/person, $200/family.

        1. Really?? I’m the OP, was married in 2003 and got checks ranging from $75-$250pp or $250 with a few $500 per family at that time.

          1. Yes, really. Most people, even professionals, don’t drop $500 on cousins or friends.

    3. In NYC, $300 would be standard for a friend’s wedding where a couple is attending. So I’d think it should be a lot more for close family with more people attending. Like, $500 at the minimum.

      1. Among what type of crowd? Where do non-biglaw young people living in NYC get this kind of money after they pay their giant rents?

      2. I always give $500 minimum for any wedding. Not a big law person or especially well-off. That’s just the going rate in NYC.

    4. I have nothing to add, but man, from the Midwest and this conversation is absolutely insane to me. $100/couple was considered great when I got married 10 years ago.

      I think it’s lovely you want to be generous and agree your cousin would just like the money and not worry about comparisons. What have you given to other cousins? That would be the biggest factor for me.

      1. Agreed, in the Midwest and this entire convo is blowing my mind! I hope I am not just accidentally cheap.

        1. Same. My jaw is agape. Minneapolis area and I can’t imagine these numbers for a wedding.

      2. Fair question. A few got married when I was still a kid, so nothing. Three, including this one’s sibling, got married around when I did (mid/late 20s) and I got them something off their registry in the $150 range, or the equivalent in cash. I think my now husband was at all the weddings with me.

        Two married in the past 3 years and both were COVID weddings. One was on zoom (we “attended”) and we sent $200 cash. One (in her late 30s, and his 2nd marriage at 41) was married during peak covid and had a backyard picnic “no gifts please” party a year later. we got them a sentimental gift and champagne.

        So…no easy comparison I guess. The guy that’s getting married is also the youngest of 12 cousins with a big gap (6-7 years)’to the next youngest y brother, who eloped, but for whom we bought and built a shed as a wedding gift).

    5. I’d likely do $300-$400 for the wedding. I’m in Philly, late 20s (which, in my crowd means only a few people have gotten married so far) and I always give a gift off the registry that is usually between $100-$125 for weddings factoring in how much I’ve already spent on the wedding. and how close I am to the couple. But, that is hard to scale with its an entire family attending (for most people!).

      If you’re in a financial position where there’s no difference for you in spending $300 or $500, I would do $500. If you can make $500 work, then I’d do that and would have no qualms about being overly showy. It’s generous, not showy!!

      As for the bat mitzvah, I’d do $216 (roughly $200, but in multiples of 18).

  5. For the writers in the group, where do you write in terms of physical location (coffee shop, home office, sofa, etc)? Anything specific about that particular locale that inspires you and gets your writing juices flowing?

    1. At the beginning of a project, anywhere. The creative juices are flowing and the writing is energizing. In the middle / end of the project, I need a desk with a monitor and keyboard and a good chair because the project is no longer energizing and revising isn’t enjoyable.

    2. I write primarily at home, on my couch (chosen based on softness so I can sit for hours without issue to my tuchas, though it’s not great for my posture). I often write in the middle of the night when there are no emails, no texts, etc. I sometimes write on airplanes when it’s also a time where no emails or texts are coming in. Both situations leave me in a quiet space without distractions which helps me to get into a zone where there are no time limits. In terms of the inspiration, sometimes it’s news stories with incorrect or inaccurate or outdated info that makes me want to respond via writing, etc. I try not to rely on deadlines or set word or page counts as this can feel tougher for me to feel forced into it rather than choosing it. But that’s because I know myself and my writing style and what works for me. Also, don’t listen to other writers; every person is different! I am someone who writes a lot pretty quickly and without many typos or need to rewrite, but this is because I have literally written every single day of my life for over 35 years. Some is talent, most of it is practice. I know others who write in an office and others who write best when timed and have word count requirements. If you’re a new writer, try different options to see what inspires and what represses you. Also, if you’re someone who is going to write for long periods, set timers or keep food and water within reach so you don’t become ill by getting lost in your work and forgetting to consume things (ask me how I know). Happy to talk more if it’s helpful!

    3. I love to shake it up. I usually write in my home office/guest bedroom. I intentionally painted it a calming color I love, have candles around that bring me joy, and have my little writing book set up with little pictures and postcards and mementos I find inspiring. I have a second desk on my screened-in porch that I use when the weather is nice! If I want to hang out with my boyfriend while writing, I’ll post up in a really comfy chair in our tv room.

      When I get tired of those locales, I enjoy a local coffee shop. We used to have a tea shop in my city that was in an old house that I LOVED, but it closed. The ambient noise helps keep me focused. I also write with music when I’m at home, most of the time.

    4. Coffee shop! I like making it part of my weekend routine to sit in a coffee shop with my laptop or iPad and write. There’s a few factors
      1) I can’t write romantic fiction at my desk at home because that mixes up my two brains in a way I don’t want to do
      2) I like ‘acting the part’ of a writer in public, the peer pressure makes me be productive somehow
      3) I like being around people but not having to be social

  6. What shade of blue is the featured blouse? I don’t like high necklines but would love to find a square neck blouse in this color

    1. Peac–k is probably the closest, although you may find more results with teal.

      1. I’ve seen this described as ‘kingfisher’ but that might be taking the bird theme too far. I agree that I would generally describe it as teal.

    2. Maybe search for cerulean? On my monitor it looks adjacent to a dark teal.

      1. It’s a tough call. They’re so different. (I can’t resist quoting The Devil Wears Prada every time I see the word cerulean!)

      2. Cerulean doesn’t have any green in it. It’s just a medium blue.

        (If you’re thinking of the belts in DWP, those weren’t cerulean. It was Andie’s lumpy sweater)

    4. Check out Ann Taylor – they have a very similar color called “Lavish Blue” and the “Refined Stretch Envelope Neck Top” might fit the bill. (If not, they have several other items in that color.)

  7. Did anyone attend law school later in life? Or were there older students in your cohort? I’m late 30s and considering it. I work in a law adjacent field. What would be any clear cons or limitations on older students/baby attorneys?

    1. What would you want to do after graduation? The impact of being older really depends on what you plan to do with the degree.

      1. I would do public interest law so I’d plan to take advantage of 10 year loan forgiveness.

        1. Don’t count on that, the actual percentage of people with forgiven loans is quite small.

          1. It’s getting much easier to get the forgiveness, and I know several people who have gotten it lately! There have been many changes in recent years that make the guidelines easier to follow.

            My caution would be not to count on getting a public interest job. I’m not sure where you are, but keep in mind those jobs are often competitive.

        2. Do not count on it still being around in its current form in 14 years (one year to apply, three years of law school, ten years of PI work). They may very well curtail the amount of money that can be forgiven, because the money written off is going to get astronomical once people get approved.

        4. You know, a lot of people think that. Turns out public service jobs are actually really competitive. You can’t assume you’ll be able to get one.

          1. This. I’m in public service adjacent, but I had to do corporate work first to get here. It’s funny but it’s hard to get the jobs that will pay you the least!

            But I think it’s a good goal and you’d be coming in with extra maturity and perspective so I’m sure you’ll know what you’re doing and be successful!

        5. Just be sure to have a plan B and C. What if you don’t get the job. What if you get the job but don’t qualify for forgiveness. What if you don’t pass the bar. When you’re 25 you can absorb a big financial hit or career shift more easily than at 35.

        6. Many, many, many of these jobs are also very low paying jobs comparatively speaking. Can you survive 10 years only making $50,000 to $75,000 per year? It’s very much going to depend on where you live as well.

          1. I’m not the OP, but I’ve never made 70k in my life, and only made >50k a couple of times (I’m 44). We do just fine – more than just survive- making “only” that much.

          2. To the person just above: but try adding 100K-200K of law school loans to that after 3 years of not working (so funding health insurance, etc.). That math is not pretty.

          3. Anon @ 10:54– but are you also paying back $150k of student debt?
            OP, as someone about 15 months out from PSLF forgiveness, I’d think really carefully about this. Some Republican proposals are aimed at scrapping the program entirely, and I’d be shocked if it was still a blank check in 10 years– even as someone in line to benefit greatly from the program and a solid Democrat, I agree the forgiveness should be capped or restricted to some degree. The stress from wondering if the program would disappear out from under me was not minor.

          4. To Anon above, if you are located in a VHCOL area with student loans and possibly want to have kids and go on a vacation once a year, $70k is not a ton of money. I pay about $24,000 a year just on rent and utilities and that’s only my half living with my boyfriend.

        7. What kind of public interest? I am a prosecutor in a major US city. 8 years in I am making 58k. Yes putting child abusers in jail is satisfying but it doesn’t pay the bills. I cannot imagine taking on debt later in life to do this.

          1. This is so location specific. A prosecutor with 8 years experience would be making 100k+ in metro Atlanta, and offices are doing a lot of hiring.

        8. I would suggest you do some very solid research on the starting salaries for jobs you’d be interested in, and try to talk to people working in those jobs about how competitive the hiring is. Public interest salaries can big really, really low, and that can be very hard financially if you have dependents, a house payment, or just a more “adult” lifestyle. Get a realistic understanding of the impact to your household income, and your ability to save for retirement. Bear in mind that you’ll lose three years of income while in school, as well. And that’s all the best-case scenario – the worst case is that you struggle to find a job after graduation. Many public interest jobs (especially ones with high prestige, like ACLU jobs, or government ones) are more competitive than private law firm gigs.

          Once you’ve run the numbers, you should take a practice LSAT and see what general ballpark of school you’re in. If you can’t get into a school with a decent job placement record, you def shouldn’t go. All law schools are not created equal.

          1. I work in the public service sector now and many of my coworkers are attorneys, so I’m pretty confident I could get another job in the sector after law school.

          2. Anon at 11:13, examine that assumption. The attorneys here are telling you that what law looks like from the outside is NOT what the field is in the inside.

          3. Yes, but would the job you could get pay more than the one you have now? If not, you’re taking on debt and giving up income to make the same.

    2. What’s your financial position? Taking on a lot of debt is a slightly different equation at a later stage in your life when you might have more pressing spending needs (kids) and a shorter career over which to “break even”.

    3. I went right after college and wish I waited. That being said, I’d be more concerned about how long you have to pay back loans if you need to take them out and job prospects. I hated being a lawyers as did most of my friends. Law wasn’t really worth it.

      1. I adore being a lawyer but also it takes time! Like the first ten years we’re hard. I don’t think I’d want to graduate at 42 and spend the next ten years building a career.

      2. I agree with this (lawyer, love my job, but was so lucky that I stumbled into it b/c it wasn’t always this way). Have a real end-game plan and do a lot of informational interviewing with people. I know a social worker who was interested in law b/c he was always going to court and he specifically wanted to do the court side of his current work, which makes sense. It’s too bad he had to deal with tax, secured transactions, etc., but administrative law and family law, etc. were very relevant (and would have been helpful to him before). But it didn’t make sense without 1) a working spouse, 2) not having to move, and 3) public interest loan forgiveness and scholarships. So keep your eyes very wide open. Don’t be like me and think that just b/c law is interesting that that’s what working as a lawyer will be like.

    4. We had older people (to me, 22, was anyone in their 30s). And also people in their 40s, 50s, and one retired doctor in the class above me. We had many guys who had done their 20 years and were retired from the military but were in their 40s and wanted to work still in a second career. And one former female police officer who was back because it interested her. All of these retirees were 40ish IIRC. Some women went when their kids were old enough to drive but still at home and commuted from maybe an hour away. That was rough. One woman commuted and had a baby our third year.

      1. I think that the military guys used their GI bill $ for law school, which wasn’t so expensive when I went.

    5. Unless you’re wealthy and going back would be a gas (as my grandmother used to say), I wouldn’t do it at your age. A couple of people in my law school class were 40 and they both regret it. You will face age discrimination upon graduation and struggle to find a high paying job. Firms need grinders, young associates to bill, and when you’re 40+, you’re past that. If you’ve loaned money to go back, you’ll need a great job to pay those back and save for your soon-ish retirement. I’d let the dream go, focus on what you do now and scratch the itch with podcasts or something. The TL/DR is the math doesn’t work unless you’re already rich and then why would you choose that.

      1. Agree with this. Having said that, there is an associate at my DH’s firm who went to law school in her late 40s, so she’s a 50-something associate and she absolutely loves it. And is not doing an area of law I would consider particularly interesting. Her kids are already out of the house, I don’t think money was a factor, and she just… really loves the law. If that’s you, go for it.

      2. OTOH, not everyone goes to firms. Especially big firms. Lots of people go into clerkships, government service (a friend who went in her 30s runs an administrative agency that revokes the licenses of health care professionals in her state, a very important job that needs a very dedicated and competent person to do it), small firms, etc., etc.

        I do think that a 25YO has a leg up in BigLaw b/c they can be grinders if the don’t yet have, say, kids to pick up from daycare or a dog to walk. But if you used to work as a nurse and now want to do health care law in BigLaw, that makes a lot of sense also. Or plaintiff’s PI work (which I understand can be $$$ if you pick cases well).

        There is a lot of stuff out there, especially if you are in a county seat or state capital, which seems to be where a lot of law schools are (Columbia, Tallahassee, Richmond, Albany). Not everyone can live well on those salaries, which is a big concern, but many will have loan forgiveness as part of the calculation AND you may get scholarships when you are in school, so look at that carefully.

        I also know a lot of permanent law clerks who love their jobs and love that they can balance meaningful work with having families.

        1. Right, there’s other jobs but they don’t pay nearly as well. When you graduate in your 40s with debt, you don’t have the same luxury of time that a 25 year old has to repay loans and save for retirement. So while those jobs may be great, they saddle an older lawyer with debt and an inability to retire. While 40 is by no means old, it’s a rough road to start a law career then absent existing financial security.

          1. All of the above is true, both sides of it. One other thing is what what does three years of lost income at your current job look like (lost income, maybe lost 401K match, maybe lost free health insurance from employer). That is easy to zero out if you are 22 but less so if you are 40. And that can be a lot of $. That, I think, is why you see a lot of married people (partner is working) or retired military guys (have health insurance, pension, maybe GI bill $) going to school later. The calculus is just very different IMO than it is for recent grads unless you are making no $ / hate your job / are rich.

        2. There are lots of jobs that aren’t big law firms, so I think OP should consider those options.

          In the spirit of truthfully considering the options, though, she should never just think she’ll be a career law clerk. Those jobs are INCREDIBLY difficult to get. If you can get one, great, but you should never plan on that as a definite road while in law school. It’s like saying that you’ll just work for the federal government. Sure, maybe, but those positions are so competitive that almost no one is a shoo in.

          1. Agreed. The people I know maybe clerked right out of school and then went to BigLaw or other jobs and entered permanent clerkships with great resumes often as an exit from prior jobs after having kids (mostly women, but including one guy with middle-schoolers).

            I know a lot of state govt lawyers and federal jobs in cities like CLT and ATL (so not where you expect lots of federal employment but it is also there — bank examiners, IRS, etc.). Many are law-preferred jobs vs strict JD only jobs but I can’t tell that they pay any less in many law-preferred jobs.

          2. I was an appellate attorney (that’s what they called us instead of clerks) for a while and cosign this. VERY HARD TO GET THOSE JOBS and everybody who had them was, like, editor of their Law Review and quit BigLaw to have kids. I always chuckle to myself when I think that 99.9% of the appellate decisions in my state are written by (very smart) middle-aged moms.

    6. I did a joint law/master’s program in my late 20s/early 30s while working part-time and commuting 1 hour each way. I had a baby midway through the program. Based on my experience and observing other students I strongly believe that no one should go to graduate or professional school without a strong passion for the subject matter and a clear idea of what they want to do afterwards. The adult students who’d been out of school and worked in real jobs for at least a couple of years were generally much more focused and more successful, and often a lot happier, than the ones who went straight through out of undergrad or undergrad + something like Teach for America or the Peace Corps.

      There were enough older students in the class that age and parenthood were not a real social barrier, although the commute was isolating. I didn’t hang out with the other adult students outside of daytime hours because I was always facing a long drive home. It would have been so much easier if I’d lived in town and been able to go home and make dinner and relax, then go out to study group or poker night or whatever and get home at a reasonable hour. Staying on campus until evening, then meeting up with people, then driving an hour home was just too much for me.

      I think going back to school when I did was the right decision for my career and my personal development, but I really regret my choice of school and program. I was originally deciding between a social science Ph.D. and an applied master’s degree in the same subject. I went for the master’s degree because I didn’t want to deal with the tenure-track job market. I was also newly married and didn’t even think of asking my husband to relocate for school. As a result, I picked the only master’s program within driving distance. I added the joint law degree partly because I thought the “D” in “JD” would qualify me for better jobs in the non-practice career in which I was interested (correct) and partly because my husband realllly wanted me to go into practice and make lots of $$$ (he still kind of wishes I’d gone that direction). I had funding for the master’s program and the largest scholarship that the law school offered at that time, but because tuition went up and the scholarship didn’t we ended up on the hook for some student loans that really held us back financially until we got them paid off. I had the stats to get into a much better law school and was even advised by a professor during my 1L year to transfer to a better school so I’d have a shot at teaching, but we didn’t want to move or pay the kind of money a top school would have cost us. In retrospect I should have gone to the best PhD program where I could get funding and then pursued the same type of career I now have. We’d have been much better off financially, I’d have more career options now because a JD doesn’t open all the doors that a PhD opens, and I would have liked the PhD program much more. I also didn’t realize at the time how much the reputation of the school matters for a graduate or professional degree.

      Sometimes I think about going back for that PhD or switching fields again and getting a different master’s (long story), but I can’t justify dropping out of the workforce for several years as we are trying to pay for our daughter’s college and build up our retirement accounts.

      TL/DR: Go into it with your eyes wide open, a good understanding of the costs and opportunities, and a clear plan for what you will do after graduation. Go to the best school you can afford and don’t compromise for the sake of logistics.

    7. I went at 29 after doing 6 years in the Army. And at 29, I was definitely the mom of my social group! But there were plenty of older students in their 40s (I recall only one student in his 50s), and we all got along great. One of those older students is now a very close friend of mine and I still keep up with the others.

      The thing I didn’t think about at the time was the effect on household income, long-term earnings, and retirement savings. In the Army, I had been earning $65k as a junior officer. In school, I had no income for four years (tax LLM), and came out with debt (the GI bill doesn’t cover close to everything, even at a state school), lost out on raises during that time, and wasn’t able to save for retirement. It took 5 years out of school for me to land at a good paying job (started at $125k) and then had to pay off my loans, and only THEN could I start aggressively saving for retirement.

      My older friends have not faced age discrimination in the job search. (And none went to traditional firms and all are doing public interest / policy / education.) The hard thing is just being willing to accept again that “starting out” salary when you’re a fully fledged adult.

      I work in public policy, I’m doing my dream job (literally what little me pictured, even though I didn’t know the words for it), and I make a great salary. But it took a hit to get here. I am not practicing law, but I couldn’t have gotten my job or had the opportunities I’ve had without my law degree. That said, many people who do similar policy jobs to mine and should make salaries similar to mine don’t have law degrees. If you’re interested in policy, you don’t need a law degree.

    8. Be really honest with yourself about the financial and time commitment. Will you continue to work during school? Even night programs are pretty intense and a lot of night students drop down to part time. You’re going to have time for basically nothing but work and school for 4 years straight. Does that sound doable to you? Are you in a financial position to take the hit in terms of lost income as well as tuition? Will you need loans, and if so, will you be able to repay them while also meeting your savings goals?

      1. Most FT law students take 15 credits and I was shocked that PT students take 12 (so one fewer class) while working FT. It is super-intense. I worked a government law job while I got my LLM (taking 2-3 credits per semester) and that was awful, so I can’t imagine 12 credits per semester over what I think is 4 years. People do it, but I am not sure I’d have made it.

    9. I went to law school in my thirties, clerked after graduation, went to work in government, then was appointed to the bench. I went to a night school program at an accredited tier-2 law school; most of my classmates were years out of college as well and most of us had full-time jobs. We also tended to have significant scholarships to help pay for school. Given my scholarships and full-time employment status, I didn’t have to take out any loans. I would not recommend law school later in life if you have to take out significant loans. Some of my classmates did and they are really struggling decades later — and law school was much cheaper then. I also don’t recommend having a full-time job during law school – I am still not sure how I survived it.

      1. The working during law school part is also really important to consider, unlike an MBA, your law school grades really really matter to many potential employers, especially competitive ones. It’s hard enough as a full time student with the time to focus to pull off top grades, which are a bit of a crapshoot anyway, but especially difficult if you’re also working full time.

    10. I started law school at the age of 40 (when kids were 1 and 3). For the 15 years before that I had been involved in law adjacent role in compliance and the only risk to law school, for me, was missing out on some salary while I was in school. I figured if I didn’t like it, I could go back to the same industry in a comparable position and if I did like it, I could go back at a higher level.

      I loved law school. I worked part-time for my former employer for half of it and as a consultant to another industry contact during the other half. I kept up with my network throughout and my part-time work paid for my tuition. I was lucky enough to have a supportive spouse and some scholarships too, so there were no loans involved.

      After law school, I pivoted right back into the industry I had left and the law degree has helped me for the past 15 years. I am now in government in an attorney position. Never worked in a law firm and never wanted to.

    11. I attended at 34, graduated at 37, went into biglaw. I’m glad I did.

      There was opportunity cost of going, but my loans were paid off in six years due to a windfall. I went to the best school I could get into with $$$, and that happened to be across the country.

      I went into biglaw and then in-house in those six years.

      Single, no kids, no house. I don’t know how I’d have taken out loans and paid recurring payments (other than very cheap rent for a very tiny studio).

      1. Oh, and age discrimination was rampant regarding biglaw hiring. I had a stupid impressive resume and kids with no work experience and the same grades as me (I know because we talked about it), were absolutely favored by certain firms. But some firms didn’t care, and that’s where I headed. Once I got to biglaw, it wasn’t a big deal–I looked younger and some people didn’t know.

    12. I went to law school at 36, graduated at 40, and within one year was in Big Law. Being older during law school definitely helped, with both life experience and having worked in a law adjacent field where I already knew some concepts.
      I worked FT and did school PT, which was a painful 4 years. But I came out of a good school with minimal student loans. You have gotten some good advice about loans. If you can only swing it financially if loan forgiveness works out, I would not do it. That is a big risk, and if you take the full amount in loans, you are looking at a very large loan payment when you graduate.
      Also know that I am not necessarily happier for doing all this. I enjoyed my law adjacent work and made decent money. I thought being a lawyer would elevate that career. Instead, it is extremely demanding and stressful. There are days when I look back on my prior career where I was mostly happy and engaged and wish I would have stayed there. For example, now if I get to take weekends off, that feels like a gift from the heavens. A week vacation with no work, forget about it. In my previous career, I rarely worked weekends and had 5 weeks of paid vacation. And I’m on an 80% schedule!
      So, know what you are getting into. Being a lawyer is a pretty messed up career. I heard warning stories but of course thought that wouldn’t happen to me, I’ll be better than those other people.

    13. Law practice is extremely hierarchical, including in government and many public interest jobs. It can be very challenging for people who have had a whole career to be critiqued for how they made binders—is that what you want for the next phase of your career?
      Finances-law school is stupid expensive plus you are losing out on three years of earning potential at what is the peak for most people.
      I see you are interested in public interest. Those jobs are HARD. My husband was a public defender and started with about 25 people who were all incredibly passionate about indigent defense. At most a third are still in that or some other public interest field. So even if the loan repayment programs survive, whether you will stick it out is not a given.
      Id try some kind of volunteering to be sure this is what you want and being a lawyer is the only way to get it. In most cities there is a CASA program where non lawyers can be advocates. Legal aid groups often do clinics that non-lawyers can volunteer at.

    14. The financial piece of it is even more important for you than it would be for someone much younger. My advice would be to go to the best law school that will give you a full ride or close to it. If you don’t get significant money anywhere, don’t go to law school. It isn’t worth $200k in debt, especially at your age.

  8. What are your memories and/ or adult feelings about Barbies? Do you / would you let your kids play with them?

    1. Memories: Hated them as a kid. My best friend used them to practice BTK and genital mutilation. I usually left when they came out at anyone else’s house.
      No kids, but if my kid wanted them, I would probably get them and ridicule the toys when given the opportunity. Maybe that is why I don’t have kids, though.

      1. BTK is . . . concerning.

        I have a friend who did things like the stereotypical Staten Island Barbie, New Jersey Barbie, UES Barbie, Greenwich Barbie, etc.

          1. I don’t keep up with her because she was a mean girl into our early 20s and I don’t want to give her quarter in our adult years, but she seems to have turned out okay. Successful professional with a family. She does live in Seattle, though, which I think increases the odds she is a serial killer.

    2. I have 2 girls, 8 and 10. They have around 3 Barbies, but also a million Disney princesses plus Super Hero High (Wonder Woman, batgirl and similar). After some time I view them all the same. The Barbie’s—one is stereotypical short dress and heels, then we have veterinarian Barbie and ballet Barbie—felt a little weird to have at first, but my girls’ world of play is female centric. They save the day, save the stuffed animals, ride play ponies and generally live normal girl fantasy lives.
      Would I give a Barbie as a present? Probably not. My daughter has asked for the dream house, and likely won’t be getting one. (It’s too much Barbie and too big.) Do I think it’s problematic to own? No, in the context that it’s one (or 3) toys of a larger pool.

    4. They’re fine. I have 3 girls and I am surprised at (1) how little they play with Barbies and (2) how much the play has changed since I was a kid!

      Growing up it was all about the outfits. Now half the outfits and shoes aren’t interchangeable so you have a zillion dolls, plus the dream house, car, airplane, hot dog stand, whatever. In our house I liked the ones that were collabs with Play Doh. We have one that is a pizza place that makes play doh pizza and another that is a bakery. We have computer tech barbie, firefighter barbie, vet barbie, doctor barbie, astronaut barbie, plus the assorted mermaids, cyclists, and fashionistas.

      As a parent of girls I have a bigger problem with Lego Friends than I do with barbie. At least barbie is obvious. Lego friends kits are dumbed done for girls, have so many kit specific pieces and things that you don’t even build (eg squirrels). It’s all girly themed and colored. The Friends race car kit is way less complicated than “regular” aka “boy.”

    5. I remember only liking the dark haired little sister character better, both because she had hair color like mine and because her body shape was more rectangular and her feet were flat. Though I did not have her crimped hair (desperately wished I did though), I had not developed yet and I did not wear high heels so she seemed more like me to my child self. I also liked that she had a dog and so did I.

      As for memories of it, I don’t think I was consciously aware of some aspects, but I knew that the busty blonde had the fashion and the careers and the boyfriend and the cool car. I also knew I was not busty nor blonde.

      While I think toys and dolls have a place for play, I think kids who have Barbies should also have dolls that have different skin and hair colors, different body types, there are also dolls now with hearing aids and in wheelchairs. I don’t have kids but when I buy gifts for the kids in my life, I choose non-Barbie options so that I don’t perpetuate things for them. I know that may be “too PC” for many. (I also don’t buy toys that make sounds or require batteries unless the parent specifically says it’s okay and then I include an extra pack of batteries. I’m not trying to make my friends’ lives harder with annoying toys haha)

      I also know that Barbies, models, and others caused me to have a lot of feelings about my own lack of cle@vage as a teen and young adult. I know boys would comment on which girls looked like Barbies and which didn’t and that this meant blonde in elementary school and developed in middle and high school. I know many tried to home dye blonde and many stuffed br@s specifically to fit into the Barbie categories. I know there are so many cool toys and games so I see no reason not to choose those. (I am also someone who is intentional about praise words, to praise a child for their kindness and their ability to problem solve and such rather than for their beauty. I am also intentional about saying things like “you must be so proud of yourself!” instead of or in addition to “I am so proud of you!” I do this in hopes that the child I love sees their value as being what they can control and who they are, not their appearance and to learn to celebrate their own successes rather than to always seek external praise.)

      And before you say it, yes, I AM fun at a party lol

    6. I adored them and played with them long after my friends gave them up (I hid them at age 10 or so). I liked picking out outfits, “sewing” my own (bad) accessories for them, and making up storylines. I was a studious, quiet type of kid, so none of the “math is hard!” drama of the mid-90s even really registered.

      Don’t have kids, but wouldn’t have an issue passing them down!

      2. This. Barbie now also come in a more diverse line up. Like yesterday the girls were playing that the Barbie in the wheelchair was taking the service dog to the vet. We saw a woman in a wheelchair with a service dog at the grocery store the other day. I like that the representations are more diverse.

      3. This was my experience too. It didn’t even register that Barbie was blonde or busty or thin or anything like that…I just wanted to play with the outfits and accessories.

        I would buy them for my (nonexistent) kids, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to buy them. I’d purchase an American Girl doll before Barbies for my kids—same aspect of all the outfits and opportunities, more child-focused.

      4. I loved Barbies back in the day. My prime years for playing with them were probably about 1972-1978 or so. I remember building elaborate houses for them using their cases, the camper, and picture books opened to nice pictures so that could be the wallpaper. They’d go “mountain climbing” on our piano, or would take my brother’s Lone Ranger doll’s horse and ride horses. My sister and I had a couple of Ken dolls, but didn’t use them much, our Barbies lived in large female compounds. We did enjoy the outfits and accessories, but were focused more on world-building and using the Barbies in stories. I do remember finding straight pins with little “pearls” on the ends and sticking them through the Barbie’s head so they could have earrings.

        And I grew up to get a PhD in a hard science, no body image issues, and while I did go through a phase of shopping too much for clothes and shoes, that didn’t hit until my late 30s-early 40s, so it seems unfair to blame Barbie.

        1. +1

          Very much a feminist, and yes, I had Barbies. I also had Legos, bow and arrows and made tree houses.

          Barbie was fun, and very easy to be creative with. My Barbies saved the world and hung out with Superman.

          I’d much rather buy Barbies still than many other style of toys.

          I agree with the poster below that there’s a lot of class expression in what toys people choose, and I’m sure I’m part of that when I think the stuff that’s very specific, something like the Lego Friends Ice cream bar, is a less interesting toy than proper, more building-oriented Legos.

    7. We did not have Barbies in my house full of sisters. Playing with my much older cousin’s collection of long-abandoned Barbies was a treat when we went to her house, and then we went home to the American Girl and Playmobil around which we had created extensive imaginary universes. I don’t think Barbie’s a bad influence necessarily, especially in 2022 with dolls that look like every little girl, but I never had much interest in a collection of my own.

      From my smug perch as not-yet-a-parent, I suspect I’d be fine with it if my kid actively wanted it, but would probably not buy it for them by default.

    8. I had them but I found that the rubbery legs (then) were hard for putting on clothes. I was all about the clothes. My mother and grandmothers sewed and I was all about the outfits. And trying to do their hair. I LONGED for the big Barbie head but never got it. I really, really wanted to do hair and clothes as a child. The first thing I sewed was something for a Barbie. I loved cigarette pants with attached illusion netting full skirts. Still do actually.

      As a grownup aiming for speed / simplicity to leave the house for work each day, I wear flat shoes and in the winter, 99% black/gray clothes, so I didn’t imprint on heeled mules and glitter despite loving that also.

    9. My most vivid memory of Barbies is stepping on their tiny pointy shoes when they got lost in the shag carpet.

    10. I have a 4 and 5 year old. I buy them legos. The 5 year old can follow the instructions and put together houses and scenes. The 4 year old doesn’t have the attention span to follow the instruction books, but she can play pretend for hours with the premade scenes. We also have a Lego programming set, but they need my husband to help them with that. Then we just have lots of extra Lego bricks, wheels, axels, trees, etc. I think you just have to hit a critical threshold of having enough legos for imaginative free play. I like that they are all interchangeable.

      I didn’t play with Barbie’s as a kid. I haven’t bought my them for my kids.

    11. I had a big box of barbies growing up, some which were hand me downs from my mom, and they were fun. Even got one or two of the special holiday edition dolls which came with stands, and a bunch of the around the world ones – polynesian, irish, etc – which were really fun. We did a lot of imagination play (one of my most distinct barbie memories is my friend throwing a ken doll onto the sidewalk, saying “He’s going swimming” but the fall broke his leg off, haha). Barbie’s body never bothered me, she was always just a toy, not a role model or a projection, although I remember wishing she didn’t have the permanent high heel pose so she would be easier to stand up by herself. I have no problem if my kid wants to play with them. The Bratz dolls were the ones that freaked me out. Don’t know if those are still a thing, but I’d have a hard time buying them.

    12. I hated them. We had maybe 5 in a house of multiple sisters. I would venture to guess they were all gifted. I know the ones that were “mine” were.

      I have a 4 year old and don’t buy them for her. I know she’d like them – she plays with her cousin’s – and we wouldn’t protest or anything if they were gifted to her, but I’m personally not bringing them in to my house. Sort of take the same stance with candy ha.

    13. i LOVED my barbies as a kid, and bc of having a younger sister probably played with them until I was almost 10. I have twin 4 year olds and their grandmother brought them some last time she came to visit. I had been trying to avoid purchasing them, BUT I will say the ones she bought them were a camping/hiking them and they are much curvier and not quite as stereotypical ‘barbie’ looking as the ones from my youth. so far my girls don’t seem that into them, but maybe that will change as they get older. right now all the want to do is arts and crafts, and do more of their pretend play with stuffed animals and like to build things with magnatiles and when they do play with the barbies, they are going on an “expedition” or “quest” to find buried treasure or to see nature. I had none of the princess, etc kind of stuff in my house, my kids are too scared to watch a movie, etc., but what they pick up from being at school etc. Also, when they play princess, the princess is often the one doing the rescuing rather than being rescued.

    14. We shared like 20 Barbies and a Barbie house with my sister. We loved dressing them up and accessorizing, setting up the house and horses and cars for the scene and then never playing the scene with the Barbies….
      We had other toys and games to develop our brands. Both of us grew into smart adults with C-level jobs, so I would not blame Barbie [or other toys] for failed parenting.
      I would gladly gift a Barbie doll to my friends’ kids [I am childless by choice] if that would be their wish.

    15. I have one younger sister; both of us were thoroughly uninterested in Barbies and more interested in running around with our gaggle of cousins, imagination play with each other (‘let’s pretend we’re lost in the forest and have to get home’), theater, books etc. Someone gave us a couple of Barbies as gifts when I was small and we promptly lost the accessories, gave them haircuts, and used them as paratroopers by tying them to my mom’s scarves and dad’s handkerchiefs.
      Now – I have two small children who are about Barbie-appreciation age. They have a range of dolls and stuffed animals. Neither has shown much interest in play that centers around dressing up or accessorizing these creatures so I don’t feel any burning need to get more plastic toys they won’t use!

      1. This is kind of it, right? You follow their interests. My kid is obsessed with cars, dogs, gears, tucking her dolls into bed, patterned pants, stickers, and hair bows. No idea what this presages for Barbie, but we’ll find out.

    16. I had one Barbie who was obviously an equestrian; she rode the one Breyer horse I had around my lego raceterack. Her little sister Skipper rode a My Little Pony, even after my own little sister pulled Skipper’s head off (resulting in her neck being rather shorter than intended due to her head then being smushed precariously back in place). And in spite of said little sister biting one of Barbie’s sets of toes clean off, she stayed in the saddle quite well with the help of yarn and zip ties.

      I was never allowed to touch my mother’s childhood Barbies, though, because they were somehow too precious for play in their advanced age. But every once in a while she would pull them out of storage and I would be allowed to admire their glam gowns and updo’s on their little stands inside the plastic protective cases.

      1. I had a Skipper! I also had a younger sister who liked pulling the heads off Barbies (TBF they did make a satisfying “pop”).

    17. I don’t remember playing with them (or any dolls) much, but I did have a few and a barbie dollhouse. However, I had a Skipper doll that was one of my sleeping buddies and carried her several places.

      As much as I’m not a very girly-girl, I don’t have any qualms about my potential future children playing with Barbie. Though, I do think I would only purchase Barbies for my daughter that have cool careers.

    18. I was horse crazy and didn’t like the Barbie because it couldn’t ride my toy horses (the legs wouldn’t bend the right way). So useless!

      1. There were equestrian Barbies with articulated legs! They were my favourite – I had a full pony club and they cohabitated with my Breyer horses.
        I have a daughter and would get her some if she was interested (she is too young right now). I like that there more diverse/active options now. I agree with the comment above re: Lego friends- I was perusing at the toy store the other day and was pretty horrified by the casual sexism of the sets.

        1. Good thing I did not know about these growing up! (They were probably not available in the small European country where I grew up.) I had lots of Breyer horses and they needed riders!

    19. The anti-Barbie stance, along with the anti-princess stance and the purchase of expensive trendy STEM toys that are poorly designed and no fun, is a signaling behavior among wealthy educated parents. It’s more about how the parents want to be perceived than about what the kids pick up from the toys. As noted by many commenters in these threads, kids do all sorts of creative things with Barbies.

      I say this as an upper-middle-class educated parent whose daughter did not own a Barbie and who wasted a lot of money on Goldie Blox and the like. Should have just bought a tub of Tinker Toys.

    20. I never had any interest in playing with Barbies or dolls generally, and mostly have nightmare fuel memories of them existing in various states of disrepair in the households of childhood friends.

      I have a friend with a designer fashion doll collection (not Barbie) that fascinates me. I play a phone fashion game and was pretty excited about the classic Barbie collab they did.

    21. I loved barbies growing up in the 80s. I adored the outfits, the accessories and brushing their hair. Wasn’t picky about the physical characteristcs of Barbie or Skipper, just cared about the outfits and dreamed of having their long, full hair. I was obsessed with the PEaches and Cream barbie dress, it was the most beautiful and glamourous dress i could imagine. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/713116922223752326/
      As a young adult and adult I love clothes and thrift shopping, as well as knitting my own sweaters and accessories.
      If I had children I would probably get super into shopping for barbie clothes on ebay and thrift stores. And I would knit little outfits for them.

    22. My current 16 year old was gifted Barbies and accessories when younger. She and her friends loved playing with them. She’s currently way into math, sports and hasn’t had any body image issues.
      That said, we also talked about how silly the bodies on the dolls were compared to real humans- she was in middle school at the time and I still remember her exclaiming: that’s part of the fun! No one really looks like that!

  9. My black clothes are having white spots sometimes when they come out of the washer. Has anyone had this issue or know how to fix?

    1. Is bleach somehow getting on them? Do you use bleach in the washing machine for whites, and is some of it maybe getting trapped somewhere and transferring to your black clothes? I’d try to stop using bleach if so.

    3. Are they bleached-out spots or is it a build up of some kind on the surface of the fabric?

      I get white fuzzies on dark clothes every time a tissue sneaks into the laundry. It’s annoying but comes off with a lint roller or just by picking at it. And when my sibling once spilled a whole bottle of spray starch into the machine when we were kids, that load needed a LOT of extra rinsing to get all the build up off the fabric. If your situation involves bleached out spots in the fabric itself that is a completely different issue (like, maybe you need to switch detergent or deep clean your machine).

    4. Do you mix black clothes with other clothes? I find it critical to launder my black clothing in a load completely their own. Since I wear mostly black for exercise, I always have enough for a load.

    5. This happens to me too, I’m convinced it’s a product of the newer “efficient” machine that decides for itself how much rinsing your clothes need. It always underestimates, the white spots are detergent buildup. I’ve played around with the settings to make it use more water but it still catches me every once in a while. I swear I’m going to start adding a bucket of water to the d!mn thing. My old washing machine never did this. Harumph, get off my lawn, etc.

  10. I have changed my lifestyle and lost a significant amount of weight over the last few years – mainly by exercising; not eating unless I am hungry and stopping when full; cooking more. I feel great, doctor is happy with lab work; etc. BUT one unfortunate side effect is that I think about food a lot more now – eg what will I cook, looking up recipes, etc. it feels like intrusive thoughts! Has anyone who dieted had this issue? How do I stop the thoughts?

    1. Something I have noticed is that I am less healthy when I treat food as an afterthought. That’s when I wind up making less healthy/more convenient choices or stopping at drive throughs because I somehow forgot that I would need to eat breakfast again. When I’m thinking about food more, I’m cooking more and keeping stock of the groceries I need ahead of time. So I guess my first question is whether it’s really a bad thing that you are thinking about food more? There’s so many diet culture/anti diet culture messages out there that it can feel like what you are doing is “wrong” based on some arbitrary standard set by someone else.

    2. I guess it depends on how much you think about it. For me, looking up recipes and planning what to cook was a lifestyle change. Healthy cooking is more like a hobby for me.

    3. I think about food all the time as well – not as result of better eating/exercise habits (I wish!), but just because I just “love” cooking. I’m using scare quotes because the love of cooking has become somewhat of a burden, in the way you describe: I feel like so much of my mental energy is spent on meal planning, reading recipes, sourcing ingredients, actual cooking and cleanup, and then stressing about making sure we eat the leftovers. I put a lot of pressure on myself to have different and interesting dinners every night, but I want to be more easy going (e.g., why NOT have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner when I don’t feel like cooking?)

      1. Panda, if it helps, I eat PBJ very often. Feel free to tell yourself on those nights that you are having PBJ because you and I are having dinner together and you value having dinner with your friend! Also, you can use fancy PB and or fancy J if it helps you to be okay with eating it when you want to! :)

        Also, anyone who wants to eat more PBJ, grilled cheese, pizza, or cereal, feel free to tell me we’re having a meal together; I am happy to be your uh your um your gateway to more carbs? hehe

        1. Team Fancy PB and Fancy J!

          PBJ is really not a total nutritional nightmare. Protein, fat, maybe not the best form of fruit for fiber but better than nothing, and carbs. Maybe even whole grains depending on your bread choice. You can do a lot worse!

        2. I love whole grain bread and almond butter. It’s close to a PB&J (I just do not like PB or J).

        3. Lol. I use my homemade preserves (see: likes to cook) whenever I have PB&J. I think of it as comparable to a high/low fashion mix.

      2. Ha, last night my dinner was a few slices of rolled up lunch meat, a handful of pretzel, a babybel cheese, some sliced peppers, and a handful of grape tomatoes. As long as I have protein + veggies + carb I consider it a balanced dinner.

    4. To me, intrusive thoughts means, “what if I turned the steering wheel and slammed my car into the guardrail?” (when of course I actively do not want that!) and it’s usually a sign that my mental health needs attention. Is that what you’re experiencing around food? Because I might want to bring that up with a therapist.

      If you just are not used to the constant weighing of food decisions that come with eating mindfully, I would try to put things on autopilot as much as you can for a little while to give yourself a break. Meal plan once at a specified time during the week. Whenever you come across a recipe that might be good or a sale you want to take advantage of, write it down in your phone and then get back to it when your meal planning time comes around. Maybe that will help it be less front-and-center in your mind.

    5. To clarify, are you thinking about food because it is a task to complete, a hobby or passion you now enjoy, or because you are planning ahead? Or are you thinking about food because you feel starving or feel mad at yourself or proud of yourself based on what you’ve eaten?

      The first is just life skills or enjoyment of a topic and not harmful. The second is harmful. If it’s the second and you feel starving, it may mean it’s time to adjust your nutrients. If you are judging yourself based on what you have or have not eaten, that is disordered and harmful behavior that a therapist specific in eating can help with and something to seek out asap.

      Either way, good for you for recognizing that something may be problematic for you and are seeking support! :)

    6. To some extent, I think that cooking all of your meals does mean that you’re thinking about food all the time. I’m not, and never have been, on any kind of diet, but we almost never eat out and eat pretty healthy, so I have to have some sort of plan for what to eat 3x a day, 7x a week, and that’s a lot of thinking about food. I do a fair amount of meal prep so that I just have food ready to go instead of having to think of it in the moment, but that still requires planning and making sure I use up everything and don’t waste the food I’ve prepped. I think eating a healthy diet does just require a lot of time and thought, more than than it does money, really, unless you can afford to outsource it all and have someone else cook for you.

    7. I found that deciding on a meal plan (not meal prep) and just occasionally trying new recipes – like once a month, got me out of the habit. I rotate between three different breakfasts, 3 different lunches, and a two week dinner plan with a couple night for take out and a couple easy meals.

      It’s like my version of Obama only wearing blue or grey suits.

    8. This was me when I was calorie counting/restricting (MFP or WW). Once I got away from that and started to focus on less carbs and more importantly more protein, the constant thoughts about food went away. I think I was just hungry and not satisfied, not eating enough protein.

    9. I think about food a ton, in part because I love the satisfying feeling of actually using my CSA and what’s in my fridge and that is a LOT of work!
      I truly believe keeping myself and my household fed and satisfied means having to think about it a lot. it is hard work. And as a Cancer it is also how I show my love, for myself and others.

      So, it isn’t about possible disordered eating for me, it is about recognizing it takes real work to be nutritious and well-fed.

    10. Hopefully and likely not your situation at all but I must say that this was a symptom of my eating disorder (anorexia) I was a young teenager. Just food (ha) for thought.

  11. Finally discovering Abercrombie Curvy Denim. If I am a 29/30 at the Gap (or an 8 in suiting pants at BR), how does Abercrombie run? Also, how high is high-rise vs very high rise? I have a short torso and don’t want jeans around my ribcage, but at my belly button would be nice. My stomach is feeling very exposed in jeans that last year were still seeming like sensible mid-rise jeans.

    Also, how massive are their flares? I prefer a boot cut b/c I wear jeans over boots. I’m not super-tall and some flares can look like overwhelming on me. I’m trying to translate my former denim love language into 2022 style words.

    1. I JUST now saw a TikTok about this. The person was a size 36 in the “regular” AB denim and a 35 in the curvy cut; she was pretty pear-shaped. So depending on your waist-to-hip ratio, either get your regular size or one size down.

    2. I don’t know if you are still checking back, but I am generally an 8 in most things (27-28 in madewell depending on the cut and reliably a 28 in most other denim). I take my usual size 28 in AF curvy denim. I think I have one pair that is a 27 in a super stretchy fabric, but reliably a 28 in everything else. I am very short waisted and most “high rise” pants hit me below the belly button. I need almost a 13in rise to hit my natural waist. AF’s ultra high waist are perfect. The regular high waist usually hit just around my belly button. I have not tried their flares, so I can’t weigh in there, but highly recommend giving them a try!

  12. I have a pair of velvet leggings-that-are-pant-adjacent from JCrew that I think I bought during a Black Friday sale years ago, and I love them. JCrew doesn’t seem to sell them anymore – they’re always sold out. Any suggestions for similar pants elsewhere?

    1. I’d just wait a few weeks. Velvet items explode everywhere as holiday parties get closer.

    2. Pretty sure J.Crew Factory already has velvet pants this year actually. See if you like those.

    5. Spanx definitely has velvet leggings, but I don’t know what pants-adjacent means so not quite sure they are what you are looking for.

  13. Does anyone know of any jobs that are law-adjacent (ie. require a law degree/experience working as a lawyer) but that are not lawyer jobs? I’m beyond done with working as a lawyer. I’ve been working as in-house counsel for two years now (I’m in my 5th year of practice – spent the first 3 years in Biglaw) and it’s still too stressful and busy and does not align with who I am/who I want to be/how I want to spend my time. Ultimately I want to be a writer, which is my lifelong ambition and what I would identify as my “purpose” (and also what my undergrad degree is in), but unfortunately I also need to eat and pay rent, and I just can’t find the time/energy/inspiration to write when I’m working a job that is draining my spirit more every day. Ideally I would transition to something at the intersection of law and writing (does this exist?) – would like to be in a more creative field so that I am at least using my creative abilities during the day and can work on my novel as a side gig (which I have been trying to do for years and just can’t make it work while also working as a lawyer). Unfortunately I still need to make a certain amount of money to continue paying off my law school debt and bills, but definitely willing to take a pay cut for the sake of a job that aligns more with how I want my life to be. Please be kind – I’m at my wits end and very close to applying for STD leave because I feel like if I don’t get an extended break from this job I will implode.

    1. Hmmm, there are adjacent jobs but why toss the baby with the bath water when none of them are what you actually want to do. I’d find a different in-house job, I’ve been in-house for a couple of decades and have plenty of time to pursue my outside passions. They’re not all created equal in terms of stress, but you could probably find one that is more aligned with your personal goals. Then just get up a few hours earlier or go to bed a few later and focus your energy on writing during that time. If you’re good, you may be able to transition to the dream job sooner than you think.

    2. Hmmm, there are adjacent jobs but why toss the baby with the bath water when none of them are what you actually want to do. I’d find a different in-house job, I’ve been in-house for a couple of decades and have plenty of time to pursue my outside passions. They’re not all created equal in terms of stress, but you could probably find one that is more aligned with your personal goals. Then just get up a few hours earlier or go to bed a few later and focus your energy on writing during that time. If you’re good, you may be able to pivot to the dream job sooner than you think.

    3. Can you take a break during the holidays? Things usually slow down from Christmas to NYE, depending on industry. That might give you a break to reassess. I think it would be difficult to switch to a less stressful career while still paying your bills and loans. However, there are always ways to downsize. You can move to a lower cost of living area or move in with a roommate etc. I’d also look into writing for legal magazines or a blog. I know people who also started legal podcasts as their creative outlet or teach a CLE to Mia it up. Also, when I wanted to leave law a few years ago I went full force reaching out to people on LinkedIn and picked their brains about their career/industry.

    4. Policy wonk?

      I hired a lawyer into a compliance role when I was head of product at a major tech firm. He wasn’t legal and didn’t report to legal, but he was the point person on my team for legal and managed all the cr@p we had to do for legal/compliance. He also did some good webinars for me that we could push to customers on relevant issues. We liked being about to market his JD even though he was no longer practicing law at all. I do think we paid for his licensure just in case, but it was nominal- like <$1k/year. Maybe they were CLEs?

    5. In BigLaw, love writing, but I work on SEC filing documents, which is probably not your jam, but makes for fascinating discussions about what words mean, the Oxford comma, and how am I not going to get sued, so very high stakes and much drama. It’s not a novel, but I am a published author in a very, very different way now.

    6. FWIW, I don’t know if I’d try to find a job with MORE writing as a solution for this. I always enjoyed reading but since I read and write all day as an attorney, my eyes want a break from words at night.

      If you want a more regular hours lawyer-adjacent job, a compliance role might be a good fit.

      1. Thank for this – hadn’t considered this very good point. I do already feel completely word-fatigued in the evening. I was looking for something with more writing because that is what I am good at and I feel it would be at least closer to my ultimate goal, but there is a very real possibility that writing more during the workday would mean writing less outside of work…

    7. is there a way to transitions to a communications role at a public policy non profit or political organization?

      Find the orgs who work on the causes you care about and scour their work and staff. I do advocacy at a social justice nonprofit and am often bridging what the lawyers want to say with what I think the people need to hear, so many of your skills could be transferable to something like this.

      there is hope, i promise!

    9. What type of law do you practice? There are plenty of companies that do industry training/compliance type work that would be more communications-focused and likely much better work-life balance.

      1. litigation – unfortunately doesn’t lend itself well to compliance. But I feel the skills are transferable.

    10. Hi twin! Former BigLaw person who went in-house and had similar feelings. Any chance you have a burner email? Happy to connect as I can relate to what you’re going through.

    11. I used to be a lawyer and am now a professional writer. I don’t write fiction but the writing I do is a lot more creative and fun than legal writing. I got my job just by applying to job postings. I know I got lucky but it’s worth a shot.
      Fwiw I took a huge pay cut, which I think is to be expected. My salary was $45k when I started this job, and hasn’t increased much. This only works because I live in a very LCOL area and have a spouse who earns more than I do (~$100k).

      1. Wow I wish I was you! What kind of writing do you do, if you don’t mind me asking? Unfortunately I am single and HCOL, so wouldn’t be able to sustain myself on that salary right now, but it is great to hear a success story about how it could potentially work down the road.

        1. I’m in communications/marketing, but there are a lot of different jobs in that field and mine is more writing-focused than most. My title is “writer” and my main task is writing news stories. I work for a university, which is part of why my salary is so low. Jobs in industry pay better but are also generally more demanding in terms of hours and stress.

    12. Depending on your salary needs, you could try a flexible legal service provider like Axiom. Biglaw + inhouse experience would make you very attractive to their clients, and you can work less than fulltime hours if you like or take a sabbatical now and then to focus on writing.

    13. I think it’s worth checking out claims jobs at insurance companies. They regularly hire attorneys to handle complex claims and often have various other jobs, such as coverage attorneys that you may be a good fit for. No billables and the work day is much shorter than in a law firm. Salary is decent with wonderful vacation time.

  14. PSA. My kid brought covid home from school. we all got it bad except for my husband. He was the only one who got the bivalent booster last month and he has zero symptoms. I kept putting off my booster because I didn’t want to feel the side effects the following day, and now ugh, I regret it so much. This is my third day is bed. Please get boosted everyone.

    1. Yes, get boosted y’all! Anecdata, but I had bad reactions to shot 2 (especially) and 3, but nothing really to bivalent #4. All moderna. While everyone is different, don’t assume you will even have symptoms.

      1. That is good to hear. I had worse experiences each time (like weekend in bed, exhausted, feverish and achey). I hate to say that I was relieved when my kid brought home COVID in September and I caught it this time and it was barely anything (like I would not have known had I not tested myself after she was +). So I will get it when I am +90 days but really hoping that it won’t sideline me for xmas plans.

        I did get a flu shot though — flu to me is still wretched.

        1. I’m not saying don’t get boosters / just get COVID; I think that my 3 prior shots were a factor in having COVID be NBD as an experience when I did finally get it. I just had to reset my time clock on when I’m getting the next one per dr recommendation of +90 days.

      2. I had Pfizer and same, no reaction to the bivalent and I combined with the flu. Also reacted to all the prior shots.

        2. +2

          No reaction this time. Moderna for the first time, Pfizer all the other times.
          And I also got flu shot at same time.

          Get boosted!!!

      3. Yes to the booster! More anecdata, even getting flu at the same time, I had no reaction other than a sore arm, same as Shot 1. (Shot 2 was bad side effects then the others have all gotten gradually milder).

      4. I had Moderna for my first four shots and bivalent Pfizer, but this was also the only one I had zero reaction to.

      5. I had ginormous reactions to the prior shots and I managed myself better this time – took Tylenol and ibuprofen proactively about 2 & 6 hours after the shot (Tylenol then ibuprofen) and only got a headache this time. Prior times it was fever, chills, delirium and general flu like symptoms for days, sans congestion.

    2. I’m firmly still in the camp of vaccines work, science is good, but I’m putting this out there anyway since you’re kicking yourself.

      My husband got the bivalent booster in mid-September, and then got Covid almost exactly a month later. He was pretty miserable for the first 3-4 days – fever, slept a ton, very hoarse and congested and sore throat. Took Paxlovid b/c high risk (asthma) and then had a Pax rebound but practically asymptomatic.

      All to say – the bivalent booster still did its job (no super high fever or lung issues, no hospitalization), but it doesn’t mean you can’t still feel like crap if you get Covid.

      1. Yeah I thought the booster was to prevent hospitalization and worse. Is there any evidence that it prevents being bedridden at home w/current variants? I thought that was all just luck of the draw.

        1. I’ll take any advantage I can get. I got Covid a few weeks after getting the second booster, and although I wouldn’t say it was fun the way I wouldn’t describe any cold as fun, to the extent the booster helped me get through it with 2 nights of Nyquil and otherwise more stir-crazy than anything else, I’ll take it.

  15. If you keep several types of bread in your house, how do you store it? With 4 people with different bread tastes in the house, we have a loaf of white, a loaf of wheat, english muffins and tortillas and it takes up a ton of counter space. I’m looking to contain the mess.

    1. Love that you asked this question, as I spent a considerable portion of last night online shopping for bread boxes. My current frontrunner is a tall, roll-top box. Would love to hear if anyone else has thoughts.

      1. This is what I do. Freeze most of it, put a few days worth in the fridge – although it lasts very long time in the fresh – and toast all bread. Tastes really good.

    4. I have to find space to put it in the cupboard (otherwise the cat will eat the top off of every buttered bun in the package). I bought one of those small wire shelves, so I can stack the bread without it compressing the lower loaf.

    6. Fridge or freezer, especially if it’s going to be toasted or otherwise warmed. It keeps longer that way.

    8. I got a little marble tray for $40 from Target and I keep it in there. It looks good on my white counters and looks “container.”

  16. 1st world problem here. I’m tired of buying hairbrushes where the little plastic coating on the top falls off (not sure why since I have fine, straight hair) and then I have a few uncovered bristles that scratch my head. Can anyone recommend a hairbrush that’s good for drying hair quickly that doesn’t have this problem?

        1. I just bought a wet brush from CVS when I realized I’d forgotten my Denman on a trip. It’s different than the Denman but still a pretty good brush. Anyway, my curly haired daughter stole it immediately and has sent me many selfies from college to show me how good her curls look now that she’s using it. If a curly girl likes something, that’s high praise!

          But I also think a Denman, while more of an investment, is going to give you what you want. I’ve had my Denmans longer than I’ve had my daughter. I just pull the hair out of them after every use and wash them occasionally. Good as new.

    2. For drying fine hair quickly a round brush with a combination of boar bristles and plastic bristles and a copper or ceramic core will do the job very fast.

  17. Has anyone been to a large concert alone? Especially one out of town for you? I just got tickets to a show in Madison Square Garden and I’m ECSTATIC because this person is my favorite artist, but I’m likely going alone as I’ve already asked the main people in my life and they’ve said no (I bought two tickets but I guess I’ll resell the other one closer to the event). I’ll be traveling from DC to NY for it on a weekday in December.

    1. Something I’d absolutely do, but concerts aren’t my personal thing. Maybe post here and see if someone in NY wants to go with you and have a chance at a fun, random, internet friend connection?

    2. NYC is amazing for a solo trip. I live here but I’ve gone to museums, the ballet, Broadway, restaurants alone and no one bats an eye. Also, what’s the artist?

    4. there is a blogger, carly riordan who recently wrote a post about going to a concert alone

      1. I was going to say this too. She went to Harry Styles alone and said she had a blast.

    5. Yes, I did last spring and I had the best time. Turns out a lot of people came alone too. I talked to them while in line to enter the venue and in my seat. Most were also coming from out of town too. Everyone was excited to see the artist and have fun.

      Enjoy!

    6. Do it! I have a single ticket for Harry Styles next year. I prefer standing if I’m alone because I don’t like being on my own between two groups in a seating row

    7. For a favorite artist, I would go even solo to their concert. I have never done that, but who knows, maybe you will enjoy it – focusing fully on the artist, taking the performance in without social chit-chat. Please, let us know after the concert, I am really curious.

    8. DO IT! I’ve gone to large concerts alone a couple times and it’s fine. Go into it with an open mind of “I’m here to have fun, doesn’t matter if I’m coming alone,” because the crowd energy will be awesome and you’ll feed off and into it. Make a new friend at the concert :)

      I’m guessing the hold up from your friends and family is the weekday aspect; otherwise, who’s turning down a chance to go to a Mariah Carey concert?!

    9. I’ve been to a lot of concerts alone. I went to a few concerts by The Who when I was in college and enjoyed making friends with all the male baby boomers sitting around me. The great thing about concerts is that they create a community out of strangers.

    10. Yes I’ve done this. I often solo travel. This may be overkill but I write out a basic itinerary in my calendar of everything from parking to where I’m going to eat. I share this with my partner so somebody knows where I am and so I’m not winging it which I find anxiety inducing. No worrying about what time I have to leave to catch the plane or wondering what the subway hours are and which lines to take. Have fun, this sounds amazing!

    11. I don’t really go to arena type concerts, but I’m happy to go to a play or the symphony or a musical or the opera alone. Once the lights are off, what’s the difference?

      Go! Enjoy!

    12. I go to concerts alone all the time. My two tips would be (if they didn’t already buy tickets) 1) get GA/pit tickets so you’re not locked into a seat alone If you don’t like who you’re near and 2) skip the opener if you don’t love them; the most awkward part is waiting alone between sets for 40 minutes.

  18. Does anyone have any Netflix recs for grade school boys? Mine are on fall break. They recently finished Cobra Kai and also loved Stranger Things. TIA!

    1. YMMV, but just finished Junior Bake Off on Netflix, and it was great. (Plenty of 9-15 year old male contestants)

    4. Mythbusters was so good for this age. RIP. How about Battle Bots? (Fighting robots–it is fabulous. Each season is a tournament with brackets and finals. Multiple seasons are available on streaming services.)

  19. I feel like this is going to be kind of controversial, but I’m curious to know what you all think about it and if I’m way off base. I’m in the US and have been following the news on the war in Ukraine. There has been recent news about several US citizens who went over to fight for Ukraine on their own. They have been in a lot of interviews lately. The whole thing makes me kind of…uncomfortable. Like, did these guys REALLY care about Ukraine or are they just part of the toxic, gun-toting, masculinity culture here in the US and wanted to go over and play war/be a hero/etc… As far as I can tell, these men didn’t have any previous ties to Ukraine. I feel so insensitive having these thoughts, but it’s hard to ignore the male/gun culture here, and my mind has been making this connection every time I see this in the news.

    1. I think you’re spot on that most of them probably just want a reason to feel macho and shoot guns.

    2. I suspect there are some for whom the situation you think of is exactly the case, but not all. My own DH has weighed during every major conflict whether he should go fight for the “good guys” and if we did not have kids, he definitely would. He has relevant background experience, a very niche and in-demand skill set in scenarios like this, and would be doing it out of a sense of deep obligation and guilt about ignoring those in need for his own benefit. Definitely not machismo or hero-seeking. We have several friends who actually have done this in other conflicts because they feel it is their duty to use their unique skills to help the oppressed. One ended up settling in the area he helped liberate and has made it his home for the past two decades.

      1. Replying to myself with further context. My husband voluntarily served in the US military and takes a quiet pride in the work he did. However, he utterly abhors the weird hero-worship pageantry and public displays from rando strangers thanking him for his service if they ever do suss out that he served. The visible hoo-rah types seeking attention are not the only ones out there.

        1. “However, he utterly abhors the weird hero-worship pageantry and public displays from rando strangers thanking him for his service if they ever do suss out that he served.”

          I’m not sure if you meant to come off as condescending, but yikes. I thank people for their service without “hero-worship pageantry” and do not try to “suss out” if someone served.

          2. Many many veterans and servicemembers are offended by the “thanks for your service” schtick. It comes across as insincere and demeaning.

          3. My son is the same way. People do it to make themselves feel good, not because of him or because they know anything about him.

          4. Ding ding! SA nailed it. It’s grandstanding and for the benefit of the person doing it, not the person receiving it.

            I’m sure there are some people who are sincerely grateful for the service of our military members, but they are not the ones who hear through the grapevine that their kid’s friend’s dad served and then track him down in the pickup line at school to publicly say “thank you for your service” in front of all the other parents. They also tend not to track down the garbage truck driver, daycare teacher, or legal aid professional to thank them for their underpaid but essential work.

          5. I don’t think it was condescending, but I do think your reply was overly defensive.

      2. All of this. I’m quite sure there are more Americans there now who are busting their asses to support Ukraine and other conflict zones, but aren’t on TV or doing interviews.

    4. Well they are doing more to help Ukraine than people who put a flag in their Twitter profiles…..

    5. I have relatives in the military and there is a genuine investment in it. It’s not just about Ukraine – it’s about world order and the ability of a democratic country to be free from the threat of a war of aggression.

      I don’t know anyone who would want to go into a war zone for the adrenaline rush. Those “macho” men tend to start fights in bars and go to gun ranges.

      This article really highlights the actual on-the-ground experience of the American guys heading out to Ukraine: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/03/american-volunteer-foreign-fighters-ukraine-russia-war/627604/

      Please read the above article prior to indulging any more opinions about this. People are risking their lives for freedom and the values we supposedly hold dear as Americans – let’s not judge them without any actual evidence besides preconceived assumptions.

    6. Some men have war fantasies. As long as there has been war, there have been volunteer soldiers and mercenaries. Are they getting paid?

    7. It just makes me think of all those American guys who joined the Lincoln Battalion to fight in the Spanish Civil War. I’m sure some of them were motivated by sincere anti-fascist feelings, but I’m sure some of them just wanted to run away from their little town and/or shoot at people. For others, a little from Column A, a little from Column B.

  20. I need some new breakfast ideas. I don’t eat dinner a lot of nights so I’m starving in the morning.

    These are my current options:
    Over easy egg on whole grain toast
    Scrambled egg on toast, sometimes with cheese
    Greek or Icelandic yogurt and toast
    Cottage cheese and canned peaches or other fruit

    In the summer I’m always adding some fresh berries to the egg and yogurt meals, and lately it’s been a pear. So I think it’s a good breakfast with enough protein and fat to keep me going, plus some fruit for the nutrients. But I’m bored. What would you add?

    Bonus points if I can cook it all while the tea is brewing.

    1. Bagel or bread with topping, piece of fruit, handful of nuts. Topping is anywhere from pb+j, nutella, honey, avocado, to cheese, salmon, or ham. Endless variations, including the fruit and nut choice. Add a boiled egg, fried tofu on the side or on the bagel for extra stamina. But really look into nuts for that energy.

    2. Are you open to prepping things you can pull from the freezer? If yes:
      -Quiche/frittata things made in a mini muffin pan
      -Homemade breakfast burritos (I like the Run Fast, Eat Slow recipe which has black beans and spinach)
      -Superhero muffins (also Run Fast, Eat Slow)
      -Breakfast quesadillas (I do these for my husband once in a while – bacon, egg, cheese, pop open sides up in the toaster to warm at breakfast time)
      -Biscuits to make fresh egg sandwiches with (I can’t always stand the thought of frozen + reheated eggs in the morning, plus sometimes I want to put avocado or fragile greens on them which don’t freeze well). I like the Smitten Kitchen everything drop biscuits from her second cookbook, or Budget Bytes’ sweet potato biscuits.

      Alternately, hard boiled eggs from the fridge.

    4. This time of year I roast a lot of apples and put over stuff. Granola, oatmeal, whatever.

      I also like roasted sweet potatoes and green apples with pumpkin pie spice topped with a cut up link of chicken apple sausage and an egg on top. I roast the potato/apple thing on the weekend and sear up the sausage and an over easy egg while my coffee is brewing.

    5. My favorite is honey-flavored Greek yogurt with some cut up apple and some chopped walnuts.

    6. Oatmeal. I do a savory oatmeal, inspired by congee. It’s oatmeal sprinkled with scallions, and ginger, with some sesame oil drizzled on top and either ume vinegar or soy sauce. I then top it with a soy-marinated egg and roasted sweet potato. The egg and sweet potato, I make in a big batch on the weekend to have for breakfast. And I always have a piece of fruit. If I want a non-savory option, I do oatmeal with cream, berries, nuts, and maple syrup.

    7. I’m reading all these replies and who are all of you people that can eat a single egg with your breakfast and be satisfied?

      I’m a 3 egg person all the way. 4 if I’m making egg salad/deviled eggs.

  21. What is the quality like at Aritzia? Any idea the quality of a top like this? I have never shopped there! Any other Aritzia workwear musts?

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