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Suit of the Week: Scanlan Theodore

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herringbone pants suit from Aussie workwear brand Scanlan Theodore

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

I know, I know, we just featured Scanlan Theodore in last week's post on smaller workwear brands to drool over – but if you typically drool over everything we post from The Fold, definitely check out the brand.

This herringbone suit feels modern and a little edgy — the loose pants, the oversized double-breasted blazer — but I still feel like you can wear this one to the office (unlike some of the comically oversized ones).

The blazer is $900, and the pants are $550; they pieces are available in US sizes 2-8 (AU6-12).

You can order the suit online or check out one of their growing boutiques in the States. If you're curious about fit/sizing, note that Saks does have a really limited sampling (but not this suit).

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 1/16/25:

  • M.M.LaFleur – Tag sale for a limited time — jardigans and dresses $200, pants $150, tops $95, T-shirts $50
  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles with code — readers love this blazer, these dresses, and their double-layer line of tees
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything
  • L.K. Bennett – Archive sale, almost everything 70% off
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Sephora – 50% off top skincare through 1/17
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Summersalt – BOGO sweaters, including this reader-favorite sweater blazer; 50% off winter sale; extra 15% off clearance
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – 50% off + extra 20% off, sale on sale, plus free shipping on $150+

202 Comments

  1. I would look like one of those concrete sidewalk anti-traffic pillars in this.

    1. Ha!
      I know it’s what is in style, but I’m having a hard time coming around to the long blazers. I’ll probably feel comfortable in them right when they’re ready to go out of style.

      1. I love a long blazer but I don’t love a double breasted long blazer so I guess I have to wait yet another fashion cycle!

        1. I had several skirt suits with long double-breasted blazers when I first started working. Two had midi-length skirts and one was pretty mini. Very Ally MacBeal, at least for one of them. All in jewel tones.

    6. I adore Scanlan Theodore (Australia represent!) but do not love the styling of this suit.

  2. I want to do something about my somewhat crooked teeth. What’s the first step – go to an orthodontist? A place that specializes in Invisalign or a neutral place? Does anyone have any SF Bay Area recommendations for this? I don’t know where to start. Thanks!

    1. If you already have a dentist you like and trust, I’d ask them for a referral.

    2. Following. Got my braces off a long time ago and even with frequent retainer wear my teeth have really shifted.

    3. Agree that asking your dentist for a referral to an orthodontist is the way to go. But if you’re in SF I recommend Dr. Chris Oviedo in the Richmond. I’ve been on Invisalign with him for a year (for non-cosmetic issues) and he’s wonderful. I have complicated dental issues, and he made sure I understood the treatment plan and the reasons for it. Although it’s been a difficult road, it worked, and my issues are mostly resolved now! He’s super responsive, including by text, and the people who work in his office are great. Cannot recommend him enough.

      1. Thanks! that neighborhood is convenient for me so I’ll definitely look him up.

  3. I am craving a mezze platter. Favorite dips/veggies to include? Recipes or brands would be great. I like Sabra hummus but haven’t found great tzakiti etc. yet

    2. Baba ghanouj. I don’t have a grocery store brand, but look for a local middle eastern restaurant that will sell containers of it.

      1. I think baba ganouj is essential too, but I’d make it. Lots of recipes online but basically roast a halved eggplant, scoop the soft flesh into a food processor with lemon, tahini (optional) and garlic.

    3. I like the Haig’s brand of tzatziki more than other options at the grocery store.

    4. Cut your pita into quarters, brush with oil and sprinkle with dukkah then toast in the oven. Mmmmm. Make your own tzatziki.

    5. Sometimes I get a super-powerful craving for tabbouleh. I’ll make a massive batch and just go to town on it.

      1. heheh I dont think people have used “go to town” and “tabbouleh” in the same sentence before, pugs!
        – Signed, only one in my family who loves tabbouleh – rest of them fight over the hummus

  4. I’ve seen a lot of camel colored shoes this season. I’d like to get a pair – like flats or loafers to wear with casual outfits like jeans. Question though – what color socks do you wear with that color shoe and dark jeans?

    I know many or most women don’t wear socks with shoes, but I just can’t do that without shoes getting gross. Normally with casual outfits I’ll wear grey or black socks with a small design. With dress shoes or pumps I’ll wear trouser socks or nylons.

    2. If you would be willing to cross to the dark side (sock-less): I put paper-thin removable leather insoles in my ballerinas/loafers. They prevent my feet from excessive sweating, absorb moisture and I swap them for a fresh pair every 6-8 weeks or so. Might work for you.

        1. Bergal for thin leather insoles. Target also sells very thin insoles called Flat Socks that are intended for this exact use, but I have not tried those.

    4. Have you tried a sprinkle of foot powder in your shoes? I can’t honestly imagine this look with socks. I mean, I can imagine it, but it’s not good.

      1. Huh – you’ve never seen anyone wear flats or loafers with any type of sock even with a thin trouser type sock? Where do you live? Because I assure you in the north even people who prefer to be without socks are not doing that when it’s 30 degrees or below out.

        1. I’m from the north and we just dont wear flats when it’s that cold…

          I pretty much wear boots exclusively for a few months in the winter. If I wear loafers or flats, I’m wearing tights. I still never wear socks with flats or loafers.

        2. Yeah I’m in Canada and I don’t wear flats in the winter. Booties only. I wait until it’s warm enough not to wear socks.

      2. +1
        I never wear socks of any sort with flats, loafers, mules, etc. Even some casual sneakers like keds.

        If I absolutely had to, I would wear the no show ped socks.

      3. I like the shoe spray made by poo-pouri too. I spritz my shoes and let them air dry if I notice some odor.

        1. I haven’t tried that, but to be clear, I use foot powder while I’m wearing the shoes.

    5. Argyle, or bright colored or Decorative.

      If you’re going to wear socks with an outfit that doesn’t hide them very well, make them interesting.

      1. This is what I do. I know socks are considered by a lot of people to be unstylish but I am just not comfortable without them. So I lean into it with brightly colored patterned socks. Obviously not for a formal look (then I wear shoes that completely hide the sock). It’s mainly because of the ability to wear but hide socks that I for one embrace the return of boot cut and wide leg pants!

    6. I have really sweaty feet and wear no show socks with flats and loafers. Usually tan/nude or black, depending on the color of the shoes but sometimes fun colors like blue tie dye if I’m wearing sneakers or really don’t GAF.

    7. Camel coloured socks, with or without a pattern. Or lighter colours like pale pink. I’d probably also wear slightly darker than flesh coloured knee high hose (yes I can see some of you wrinkling your face at me!).

    8. I can’t picture any shoes other than sneakers you wear socks that show with— get no show socks or go sockless with loafer type shoes. If it’s too cold for that, it’s too cold for those shoes.

  5. I’m curious about the person from this morning who’s getting an MFA (or anyone who has done this later in your career!)

    How did you decide to go for it? Are pursuing it more as an interest or to change careers?

    I really enjoy writing and an MFA sounds fun from a perspective of spending in-depth time with other people who enjoy it, and it seems like a good excuse to focus on that for a while. But I have a job that I probably wouldn’t leave after! So I’m just very curious about your process and goals!

    1. Hi! I’m OP from this morning’s thread. Very long comment incoming:

      I decided I wanted to get an MFA in 2020 peak COVID times when I realized life is short and if I want to write a novel I need to write a heck of a lot more than I was. I was also feeling like I was approaching the limit of self-taught resources and that an MFA would accelerate my progress.

      At that time I was interested in a career change and applied to 10 of the best, most competitive full-time programs. I didn’t get in anywhere, though I did get waitlisted at Michigan. To give you a sense of how competitive MFA programs are, I was in the top 15 applicants out of 800 for Michigan and ultimately didn’t get offered admission.

      The application process was grueling and I was kind of burned out of getting rejected so in 2021 I didn’t apply anywhere.

      This year I was a little more practical and realized I don’t want to give up the stability and money of my regular job, so applied to two low-residency programs only. Low-res typically means you go on-campus for two 10-day residencies per year and correspond directly with a prof for the rest of the time. They’re intended for an older demographic who are already working. Big difference is that there’s typically no funding. I am in the fortunate position to be able to afford it without taking on loans. Only applied to two programs this time around and got into one with a partial scholarship (unexpected but very appreciated!).

      My plan is to complete the program, read and write a ton, and come out with connections in the writing world and the skills to write a publishable novel. I plan on keeping my regular job throughout, since writing a bestseller is as likely as winning the lotto and an MFA is essentially useless for the purpose of getting jobs. Since I’ll be working throughout the program I think it’ll also help me to build the habit of fitting writing into my life now instead of devoting all my time to writing and have to figure that balance out after graduation.

      I have done a ridiculous amount of research on MFA programs over the last few years and the editor I worked with actually used to be the director of a prestigious program (and was a wealth of info) so if you have any specific questions I’m happy to answer!

  6. Asking again since this somehow spent 2 hours in moderation on the morning thread:

    I have a smaller than standard tub in my bathroom. Bathroom is the 50s colorful tile and original tub so it’s not intentionally smaller but deeper to be a soaking tub or anything. Tub is probably 1-2 feet shorter than a normal tub and a bit narrower but similar depth. Any tips on how to comfortably take a bath? I’m only 5 ft 4. I’m sick this week and very achy so a bath would feel great.

    1. Say h3ll with it and roll up some old towels to use for cushions? Who cares if they get soaked, they can just go straight to the wash after?

      1. I think it’s more that I get chilly since some part of my body always has to be out of the water? But I can try some towels. No in unit laundry (the only flaw of my apartment!) but I could throw them on the drying rack until I have a chance to do laundry.

    2. I got this silicone suction cup thing that covers the overflow drain so the tub fills up higher.

    3. If the issue is that the parts of you not in the tub get cold can you preheat the bathroom with a space heater? I do this in my smallish bathroom with a regular tub. The bathroom being heated really helps me feel comfortable (I have a regular size tub). I simply preheat the bathroom and then soak to hearts content.
      I hope you get to feeling better soon!

  7. I feel like I’ve seen some very judgmental, rigid responses on people’s posts about relationships. I feel like as a counter-point to this, I just want to say that no one is perfect, no one was built in a lab for anyone else, and it’s okay to be willing to be flexible or use relationships as a space to work on becoming a more expansive/loving/patient person. Sometimes clinging to rigidity and rules (no matter how adaptive these rules may be) can create conflict or serve as walls rather than boundaries. It’s okay to choose to be happy over being right and to recognize that no one is perfect – we can extend grace to ourselves and others.

    Also – sometimes it feels like there’s a market or hunt, with a perfect person out there you have to filter everyone else out to find. It’s a matter of choices, and by setting really rigid walls against any flaw, you may wind up over-indexing on something that doesn’t really matter all that much and missing out on people who are overall great. Just my 2 cents – you can’t optimize love and relationships the same way you can fitness or career etc. It’s okay to take some breaths and let go.

    1. Yeah I thought it was weird how many people pushed back on the assumption that love requires compromise. Like yes, if you and a partner are compromising over whether you spend your free time volunteering at a soup kitchen or kicking puppies, then you cannot compromise through that. However, there is so much compromise in a long-term relationship: where you’ll live, how many kids (I strongly feel whether or not to have kids should not be a compromise, though), parenting decisions you’ll make, how to spend your money, does someone stay home or cut back hours, when to retire, where to go on vacation, heck even where to get takeout from on Friday!

      I could have a great life (for me!) if I got to make all of these decisions, but that probably wouldn’t be a life my partner would love.

      1. I think the important distinction people were making is what the OP meant by compromise.

        Daily life compromises? Of course, h3ll I even compromise with my own self when I want to eat a Snickers for dinner but my Adult Self says no.

        Huge ones? Often ends up where neither person feels satisfied and can be a recipe for resentment. Proceed cautiously.

        1. Agreed. The OP this morning was asking about compromising your self. Little things, or even middle things, of course you are going to compromise in a relationship. It’s the self things I am taking a hard line on.

    3. I just think there’s big stuff and there’s small stuff. “I love him but he’s cruel to animals” – that’s big stuff to me. “I love him but he likes to watch sports and I like rom coms” – that’s small stuff.

      Don’t sweat the small stuff.

      1. Agreed! I’ve learned a lot with my relationship about what expectations are realistic and which are not. I heard recently that expecting you and your partner to be 100% aligned 100% of the time is not only unrealistic, but impossible…and yet somehow I got it into my head that that is what I needed to aim for! And, of course, some days you’re more tolerant and understanding than others, but that’s part of life, and part of learning to be self-aware.

        1. Yeah, I can’t imagine a version of my relationship where we always magically agree on everything. Even the big decisions. Where to live, money stuff, family stuff. I guess there is also different ideas of what compromising means. Does it mean both people agree on a middle way or does it mean I compromise my wants to we can do what the other person says?

      2. Same.

        I can make a big list of things we’ve both compromised on, from whose house we live in to what sports we pursue to what we watch on TV. But nothing like “I think you shouldn’t yell at me and you think you should because I deserve it” (real example from previous marriage).

      3. But also sometimes small stuff is big stuff in disguise. Like – I basically hate sports now because I’ve had so many exes who were completely obsessed with sports and specifically football. It’s not cute to be a football widow. I don’t want to lose my partner for half a year. I don’t want it to be some big emotional discussion if my sister is getting married during football season and yes I expect my very serious BF/fiancé/husband to attend the rehearsal dinner, wedding, and day after brunch and hang out with my family after without whining or being on his phone the whole time because for reasons I will never understand someone tossing a ball around is more important than real life. I cannot explain how many very important life events this has impacted with many different men – it is 100% always a huge red flag that he cares about me only when it’s convenient for him and literally anything he likes is more important than me. And this is without going into the badly hidden gambling addictions that pose as being a superfan.

  8. DH & I are getting around to updating our will and we need to decide some things re: guardianship for our two kids, should anything happen to us. WWYD?
    1) Guardianship to sister A: The pro is that she lives in town so our kids would not be uprooted. The con is that she’s currently going through a messy divorce and IDK how everything will shake out in the end. She has three kids of her own.
    2) Guardianship to sister B: The pro is that her life is overall more stable. The con is that she lives 50 miles away, so our kids would be uprooted. She also has three kids who are slightly younger than sister A’s kids and quite a bit younger than both of mine.

    I trust both of them to do right by my kids. In ordinary circumstances, I would choose sister A because of the proximity issue. It’s the current life chaos that concerns me. And I understand that there’s never a perfect choice and we’re unlikely to ever need this, but I want to make sure we’ve thought this through.

    DH is an only child. Both sets of grandparents are not suitable due to age and/or health. I would have reservations about selecting a family friend. Even ride-or-die friendships can change, and I’ve learned that through some painful lessons in the past couple of years.

    Financially, we are setting up a trust. Would you have the guardian ALSO administer the trust, or choose someone else for that part?

    1. Working through this now for my family (one kid has some developmental issues so it looks like we need to have some sort of spendthrift trust for her vs a full-on special needs trust). I have a Sibling A who is far away and has significant family chaos. So Cousin B, who lives in the same state and closer to my in-laws is my choice.

      I am of modest $, but if I die while I remain overinsured and if my 401K balance recovers and the property market doesn’t tank, there will be much more $ than either my spouse or children could ever really need (so spouse might become attractive b/c of that and the one kid might give away the rent money to some cause or other that she feels she can fix). That kid should be able to work for a modest living as an adult, but it may also be the case that we’d need to buy kiddo a condo to be held in a trust and just let the kid work for expenses and not worry that she will cry when she sees a humane society ad late at night and send them all that she can.

      1. I would add that but for sibling’s drama, I’d have gone with sibling. But the drama is just overwhelming and I think her kids are negatively affected by it. Her ex is local and toxic and the ex’s new wife’s kids are all in school together and it is BAD. I would not subject my kids to that.

    2. I would go for A for proximity, especially if your kids aren’t little anymore. Curious to hear what people say – we have a trust also. At the moment we chose my dad (75) for both guardianship and administration of the trust because my younger brother (41) lives 100 miles away and hasn’t worked for 10+ years so his finances are dwindling.

    3. is Sister A’s life likely to “rebound” in a timely manner? I’ve seen friends go through messy divorces that they requested and come out very stable and happy on the other end, and I’ve also seen friends get divorced and developed drinking problems, have more limited custody as a result of the drinking, have mental breakdowns.

      If sister A has 6 kids as a single mom, is that too much of a burden on her? Financially it sounds like the kids will be taken care of, but 6 kids with a single parent sounds like a lot.

      Does one sister have a parenting style that is more similar to you and DH?

      Which sister and family are your kids closer to? Obviously if this were to occur, the kids will likely be emotional wrecks so moving in with a family member you’re not very close with could be harder.

      1. I think it’s a discussion to have with the sibling now, no? Like she may already feel overwhelmed at the thought (or not). But having the discussion is good, especially since it will let you tee up “and I’m also talking this all through with other sibling” since you would list them in the alternative most likely, noting a preference. The first choice might decline the role if/when called upon.

        1. Well choosing guardians should always be a conversation with the potential guardians, no?

          1. Ha! You’d be surprised. And also surprised by how many people “assumed” they’d get the kids (and any $) but aren’t the first pick. Like my SIL would be devastated not to be named but she is a hot mess and a hoarder and needs to get her own life straight before I add orphaned kids to the mix. She loves my kids, but would not be a good choice for a 24/7 parent replacement.

        2. Definitely have a discussion but neither sibling will be in a great place to raise your child. Sister A doesn’t have her own children so even if everything is settled after her divorce, raising your child will drastically alter her life. Sister B has three children already and adding another one could be difficult. These situations are never easy and I think a conversation with them is in order. Also I’m assuming neither sibling would be doing everything on their own and the other would help out as much as possible.

        3. Yeah, we had the conversation with both sisters, but that was all pre-divorce. I’m not worried about my sister making bad life choices. I am somewhat concerned about adding to the chaos of her kids already going back and forth between houses, and what adding their cousins to the mix could do.

    4. We chose guardians who live several states away with the reasoning that moving to a very stable, loving home would provide our kids with more stability overall than staying in town with less perfect guardians. If it actually happened they would probably move here anyway since their own kids are out of the house.

    5. I would not think living in a post-divorce household with other kids shuttling back and forth would ever be stable.

    6. In your shoes, I would go A. You can update it in a couple years if her life doesn’t settle and you still have concerns.

    7. I wish I’d had two great choices when I did this! I have one stable sister and one unstable sister. Unstable sister didn’t make the list. Stable sister was in the #1 position but both sisters are hours away, and I had to choose a second. My compromise was to name a local friend #2, with his and his wife’s permission of course, and told everyone involved that if my kids were high school age-ish, I preferred not to have them move, and my local friend agreed that in the unlikely event my kids were orphaned, they could live with him to finish high school, but my sister would handle all the money aspects.

      1. Unsure if this is required or just good advice from our attorney, but we were very clearly told that whoever is the guardian of your child should NOT be the person in charge of the money. We have a family member as our kid’s guardian but a close family friend as the executor and overseer of the estate.

    8. My kids are left to my sister, who lives a 3 hour drive away. It’s as determined she’s the best choice even though she’s the farthest away.
      My friends kids have been left to me. I made clear that we’d likely move (to a bigger home) and the kids would have to change schools if that were to happen, and she was fine with that.
      There’s no wrong answer, and as kids get older and potential guardian’s lives change, you can always change to someone else.

    9. I’d make A the guardian, but list B as an alternative guardian if A is unable to serve as a guardian for any reason.

    10. Talk to them. I’m nominated as my niblings’ guardian and would not have expected that to happen without a conversation.

      1. I did talk to them, long before the divorce happened, and both were willing to be named as potential guardians. It’s really the divorce thing that’s thrown everything into a tailspin. I don’t have any concerns about my sister going off the rails, but I also know that splitting custody and such already complicates everything. OTOH, my kids are probably closer to her than my other sister.

        1. That’s great, if you know where the kids would be happier, then that’s an easy choice. My mum nominated her brother who lived on a farm and sometimes I kind of wished I could just go and live there with him! (Not wishing her dead though). Also, hoping it never happens and the kids grown up happily with you.

    11. Honestly? If you and your husband both died, moving 50 miles away would be the least of the trauma for your kids. I’d go with the more stable sister for sure.

      2. Yeah, I’m a little bit amused by this concept of having it to where people Avenue, because people are mobile nowadays. They aren’t necessarily going to stay in the same place just because they’re now guardians of your kids.

    12. I would pick the sibling that would make the best decisions for the kids, not base it on proximity or current life upheaval. My kids are tweens/teenagers, and my sister is listed as their guardian even though she lives in TX (we’re in CA). If something had happened to us when the kids were little, the kids would have moved to TX and lived with my sister and her husband (in all likelihood). Selling our house + life insurance would have meant that their education would have been paid for anyplace they wanted to go.

      Now that they are older, I could see a scenario where in the short-to-mid-term (e.g., 3-5 years), the kids would stay in our house in CA and finish out school with either my elderly-ish parents or my brothers-in-law living in our house or nearby. My brothers-in-law live about half an hour away, but to be quite frank, I’m not sure they would be able to stand up to the pressure from my horrible MIL, who would be secure in her knowledge of what teen girls want or need.

      Guardianship is really more of a guide for the parents’ intentions – kids aren’t lamps. But getting everyone on the same page (none of this stuff should be a surprise to your siblings or parents) will go a long way if something bad happens.

    13. Proximity was big for us, and we chose my parents because they’re local and would move into our house so kiddo could stay with the same school, neighborhood and friends. Yes obviously your parents’ death is extremely traumatizing no matter what but I do think staying in the same schools and activities with the same friends would make it substantially less awful. I would do A in your situation.

    14. If something happens such that your kids are going to a sibling, their life is already seriously changed forever. I’d pick the sibling who’s the closest to you and your husband in attitude about things and who will provide the best life guidance. Also talk to both siblings about it and perhaps figure out a bigger plan if anything happens to them too.

  9. Can any savvy cooks here help me make my favorite frozen meal, like actually make the “real” version of it? It’s the Spinach Artichoke Cavatappi meal from Purple Carrot. What I really love is the sauce, but I’m not a good cook and I have no idea how to replicate it. Also a fan of the beans, and my version of making beans is opening a can ha.

    3. Are you vegan? I’ve never had this dish, so I can’t tell from the photos if the beans are whole or pureed to make the sauce. If you eat dairy, any recipe for a spinach-artichoke dip would probably work, just thin it out with a little of the pasta water.

      1. The meal is vegan and I’d prefer to stick to that. The beans are whole but no idea if they are also in the sauce. How to make the sauce is really stumping me, it’s the best part!

        1. Ah, shoot, I posted a spinach artichoke chicken recipe that’s stuck in m-d and it’s not vegan. Disregard if it ever shows up!

        2. Looking at the ingredients on the box, it looks like they use mostly water, sunflower seed paste, and olive oil for the sauce (plus seasoning and a little cornstarch). Look for a vegan alfredo recipe – most use cashew cream or a vegan milk + starch – and make sure to include nutritional yeast for the cheesy taste.

          I’d try this one, since the Kitchn usually has well-tested recipes: https://www.thekitchn.com/vegan-alfredo-sauce-recipe-23273396

          Add frozen artichoke hearts, frozen spinach, and absolutely use canned beans. It sounds really good!

    4. A lot of vegan cream sauces are made with soaked cashews (in this case it looks like they’ve been subbed for sunflower seed paste, presumably for allergen reasons). Look at Pinch of Yum’s five minute cashew sauce as a potential base recipe – to match the flavor profile of the original it looks like you’ll want to experiment with adding a onion powder, black pepper, nutritional yeast (nooch), lemon juice (and/or zest), and red wine vinegar.

      1. Cashew ricottas are super easy and make a great vegan sauce for pasta or pizza. The longer you soak the cashews, the smoother they get, but I usually just do it for a few hours and it’s fine (most recipes suggest overnight). I purée the soaked cashews with a little olive oil, salt, and lemon juice, but there are lots of other recipes out there you could google. When I make lasagna, I purée the spinach with the cashews. I didn’t bother looking at this particular recipe, but this approach works for lots of things.

    5. I’ll have a go. I’ve looked at the label, and this is pasta with a sunflower cream sauce.

      Pasta: if you get the cavatappi shape that’s great – if not, try ridged big macaroni, or ridged penne, or in a pinch get fusili.

      Sauce: this is a nut/seed sauce. It’s made from sunflower seeds (they say roasted, but I’m sure plain will be fine!) and then blended to a mush, with water and some olive oil for smoothness, and salt for seasoning. You can probably substitute cashew nuts (unsalted) if you can’t find the sunflower seeds. You need a powerful blender.

      Sauce spices/flavors: garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper, red vinegar and lemon juice, nutritional yeast.
      Sauce thickener if needed: corn starch (you do maybe a spoon of cornstarch, put in small bowl, add a little cold water, stir out lumps, put in sauce – and it thickens under heat.)

      Vegetables: cooked white beans (get a can, don’t use the liquid), artichokes (get a can, a jar or something from the deli, don’t use the liquid) and spinach (get fresh, it will wilt quickly).

      I would do this:
      Look at some different recipes to see how long your sunflower seeds should be soaked. Try 1/4 cup seeds, double water? This could be hours, check some vegan recipes for sunflower cream.

      When the seeds are fully soaked, discard water and rinse, put them in a blender with all the spices/flavorings. Maybe half a teaspoon onion/garlic powder, pinch pepper /yeast, teaspoon vinegar, juice of half a lemon? Start with 1/4 cup water and tablespoon oil and add more if you want after blending. Taste and adjust. Season with salt if needed.

      Cook the pasta in salted boiled water like it says on the packet.

      While the pasta is cooking, heat the beans slowly, either in a little water (or I guess microwave) or saute in oil (I would do oil), add the artichokes, heat while the pasta cooks. Add spinach when your pasta is done. Reserve a little pasta water, then drain pasta and add to pan. The heat will wilt the spinach. Add some of the water if you like more smooth, add your sauce into the pot, mix to combine, add a little more water if needed.

      Done!

      1. Wow, thank you so much for typing this out! And thank you to those above for your help as well. I feel like I can do this!

  10. We moved to the suburbs this past summer and now have both a front lawn/garden and a very large back yard/garden. There is already some really nice landscaping, mostly trees and bushes, some ground cover that looks like ivy (not sure what it is because I am so ignorant about plants). Since we moved in over the summer, I don’t really know what (if any) perennial spring flowers there are. I really want to get into gardening but am totally overwhelmed and intimidated by the amount of information online. Any advice is appreciated!

    We are in South Jersey, and most of our yard/lawn/garden is quite shady or partial shade because we have tons of huge trees all around.

    I really want to grow flowers that I can cut to bring inside for vases.

    I don’t have much time to spend fertilizing, pruning, etc. but am willing to do some maintenance as needed.

    What is “organic matter’ and where do I buy it? I don’t have time to figure out a compost heap at this point in my life.

    Since I don’t know where there are already bulbs planted in the garden, would it be best to plant bulbs in large pots? If so, can I leave them outdoors for the winter?

    TIA!

    1. Organic matter is fertilizer if you want plants to grow or mulch if you want the beds to look nice and uniform and can be bought in bags at Home Depot or any nursery.

    2. Agree with a prior poster that you can buy the compost – sometimes it’s labeled garden compost, sometimes garden soil, and it’s different than potting soil and mulch. Any sales associate can help you find it.

      If your soil is great and everything is growing happily, then you may not need to add anything.

      Growing flowers is easy – buy the little transplants from the nursery or home improvement store, I like the six packs. Planting one marigold is ok, planting 6-12 is much more attractive.

      Finding flowers that can be cut and brought inside is more of a perennial / shrub situation in most cases (excluding sunflowers and some daisies) so I’d buy a good book specific to cutting type blooms and read that. Shade is a challenge for lots of these types of plants. Buy what works in your climate and sun situation. They may be early spring flowers like delphiniums or seasonal bulbs.

      Many gardeners who like to keep their flowerbeds looking beautiful plant a separate cutting garden. I wouldn’t expect to get constant bouquets out of established beds.

      2. If your city has a green/organic waste bin program, check if you can get free compost through that.

      3. If you want flowers for cutting, zinnias are super easy. They like sun, but might do okay in partial shade. Most hydrangeas work well in shade/partial shade and I think look great in a vase, if not necessarily a traditional cut flower.

        1. Also, if you want low maintenance, get rid of the ivy. Sure, it’s a good ground cover, but it is also super invasive and it will smother trees/bushes if you don’t keep it off of them.

    4. Start your own compost with kitchen waste, garden prunings etc!

      Borrow a heap of gardening magazines from the library and take a walk around your neighbourhood to see what grows well and what you like.

    5. Congrats! I’d just plant bulbs in the ground now. If there are any where you choose you’ll dig them up. If not, no problem. You’ll figure out what exists already next summer and can dig up and move things as desired. Get the picture this app and you can use it to identify all of your plants. I wouldn’t worry much about fertilizing. If you want to plant bulbs in pots, you must leave them outside in the winter.

    6. What you can do now: buy a bunch of spring b up lbs (tulips, daffodils, etc) and plant them in a border or raised bed. Cut them for spring.

    7. Check if your area has a Master Gardener program. In my area, the MGs frequently have booths set up at libraries or the Botanical Gardens where people can come and ask them questions.

  11. My fabric block heels got trashed in the rain yesterday (and gave me a blister as I was hiking to the T for good measure). I have plenty of Rothy’s points and I think I’m ready to pull the trigger on the loafers for more casual days/commuting in/out. Two questions – if anyone has them, do you size up (as you do in the point?) and what would be the most versatile color, I wear a lot of tan/navy/grey – an army green perhaps? I wish they had a deep jewel tone but sadly they don’t.

    1. Where sneakers or something while you commute! Your nice shoes will last so much longer AND you’ll be more comfortable.

      1. I should have clarified – I normally do to the office, but I was at a conference and trying to keep the amount of stuff I had to haul to a minimum. I’ll do these in/out in a single day trips a few times a year so I need sturdy shoes that can pass as business casual in a pinch. In truly awful winter weather I give in and wear boots of course.

    2. I got my normal size for other brands for the loafers but wish I had gone up 1/2 size. But I have wide feet, so ymmv.

    3. Join Rothy’s Unicorn Collective on FB to ask all of your Rothy’s questions and join a super-kind community. Recommend!

    4. I have wide duck feet and got my normal size in the loafers, versus going up half a size in the point. Army green sounds perfect!

  12. My 401k through my last job was with Fidelity, and my 401k through my new job is also Fidelity. When I log into my account, it looks like they have already been combined, which doesn’t make sense since I didn’t actively do that. Regardless, I DO want them to be combined, and I also want to better understand my 401k in general as I am not financially savvy. I just have a few questions regarding my account details and want someone to explain some things to me. Would the people working at a local Fidelity branch be helpful if I walked in with these questions? Has anyone had experienced with a Fidelity branch before?

    1. I have all my accounts with Fidelity and I really prefer calling customer service rather than dealing with the advisors at the branches. Customer service over there is really good and knowledgeable and they’ll answer technical questions like account details or why accounts were combined. The financial advisors in the branches are more there to talk to you about specific investments and IMO they aren’t that great – they’re not bad but just young and not super experienced which drives me crazy as a finance person. I always find the people I call to be far more knowledgeable.

      1. +1

        Agree with this completely.

        My experiences walking into a branch in downtown Chicago were not good, and the people were not very competent and treated me poorly….. until they saw how much $$ I had. By then I was like F*ck you, do you think I will take your advice now?

        My experiences on the phone have also been just fine.

        But my experiences in the branch were so bad that I opened an account with Vanguard and haven’t put any new $ in Fidelity.

    2. My mom is very happy with the local Fidelity branch office. My husband’s 401K with his old job was through Fidelity and when he was laid off, they helped with moving it to a new investment account. This was late 2020, so the meetings were over Zoom. Since then, we’ve had a check-in last year to review the accounts, investment strategy, etc. It probably varies by branch, but we’ve been happy with the local office. My mom has dealt with them more in person, especially since my dad died and they’ve been very helpful with getting things updated for her new situation.

  13. Any tips for talking with parents or inlaws when you really don’t want to? Both sets have a knack for calling at 9 pm on weeknights a few times a week, when we are tired and really aren’t interested in what’s on sale in which department store or which cousin picked a useless major. We have both dealt with it over the years – each dealing with our own parents – but right now we just aren’t feeling the relationships because of some critical things that have been said about us. Neither family is the type that you can discuss things with as they’ll just blow up, call us ungrateful or selfish or whatever, and deny saying anything bad. Rather they’d prefer to just continue our twice a week calls as if it’s all good. So because we are feeling the relationships, both of us feel like we’d rather just be with each other and NOT have to talk.

    But we realize these are all elderly people and we don’t want to act like college kids who turned off their phones for a few weeks to ignore them. WWYD? We have no kids – one of the many criticisms about us – so the – sorry baby is crying, gotta go excuse isn’t there.

    1. We have a rhythm with our parents that we call them during the day on weekends – and do light housework while chatting. Perfect time to fold laundry, dinner prep, dust, etc.

      We don’t talk during the week unless necessary, like confirming plans or logistics if we’re going to see them.

      1. +1

        Even though I get along well with my mother, I do this. I see her probably 3x a month in person and she still calls me 2-3x a week to tell me things I frankly do not care about (I probably know more about the social dynamics at her job than I do at mine!). I pop in the AirPods and do some chores or go for a walk or whatever.

        And then it’s great to be like oh the oven’s going off, gotta go bye!

    2. The weekly call at a scheduled time has been helpful for me — it’s not perfect, as my parents still want to bust into my time throughout the week, but I think they find “can’t talk now, we’d love to hear all about Your Latest Nonsense when we talk Saturday, love you, bye!” more palatable. (Weekly is definitely more frequently than I *want* to talk to them, but it’s about as low-touch as I can go without provoking anxiety, so I deal.)

    3. Our phones get put away to charge after dinner. Our family members all know that we will not answer if they call in late evening.

    4. Call them at a time that works better for you. For me this is 10pm – right before I go to bed I listen to my mom chatter away on speaker as I do some self care like paint my toenails.

      For DH and his mom it’s Tuesdays at lunchtime when he has a longish drive to a client site.

      Your parents probably experienced the same issue with their own parents – just position it as i love for chat with you but xyz time isn’t great so i will call at abc time.

    5. Hey Mom, good to hear from you, but it’s not a good night- I’ve got a thing. I’m looking forward to hearing about it Sunday when we talk.”

    6. Set up a time for regular calls and stick to it. At some point you have to put on your big girl pants and use your voice. “Mom and Dad, the weeknight calls don’t work for me. Saturdays around 10 AM work better. I will call you then.”

      And then do call at that time and try to have a good attitude about it. Unless you want to go no contact, which it sounds like you don’t.

    7. Don’t answer?

      Who cares if they get mad, blow up, etc? You’re an adult. Set the boundary.

      1. Seriously. As an adult you really should not care one bit about hurting your parents’ feelings or making them feel neglected or abandoned by you. Caring about their feelings is pretty juvenile. In fact, you should mention what a poor job they did raising you to be so sensitive when you tell them to F off about the weeknight calls.

        1. I can’t tell if this comment is sarcastic, but if it’s not, it’s remarkably insensitive.

          Probably an answer people come around to after a lot of introspection, maybe therapy, etc., is that they need to set a boundary and it’s okay if parents are mad. But it not that easy to go straight from “I care a lot” to “I DGAF bye.” Part of getting to that point is setting smaller boundaries and realizing the world doesn’t implode. Some of the other posters have given great advice on that.

          1. It’s sarcastic. I thought that would be obvious. I think the post above is insensitive and I am intentionally ridiculing it.

    8. Preempt their calls with a call at a better time for you, when you are up for driving the conversation, and when they haven’t had a chance to collect all the useless tidbits they are sharing with you now.

    9. This is what your airpods are for. I call THEM and try to time it with an activity that has a natural limit – like walking the dog, driving home from the office, folding laundry/doing dishes/etc. I keep topics light and then get off the phone after 30 minutes or so. I’ll text sporadically in between but this lets me head off/ignore the random middle of the workday or 9pm wine fueled rant-y calls (yay for alcoholic family members..)

    11. I call my mom in my car on the way to work. It’s 20-25 minutes and then I have to go because work.

      I also told my mom in my 20s that I was having issues with IBS (I do not) and if I intimate in any way that I need to get off the phone, she assumes I am going to the bathroom. It’s so much easier than dealing with the drama of “insulting” her by not being available any moment she chooses to be chatty.

  14. After months of job searching, I am one 30min informal interview away from a job offer that would take me to Amsterdam. Please, send good vibes – for the offer and the job to be actually a decent workplace with great coworkers/boss :) TIA

  15. I got a job offer today with a salary that is the amount I am currently making and what I told the recruiter I’m making. It’s for a job that’s a step above entry level, so I’m having trouble figuring out how to negotiate…i feel like the salary is decent but asking for more would be too much. Benefits are also good—fully covered health care with HSA, 401k with match, AD&D insurance, life insurance, disability, 2 weeks of PTO.

    I don’t just want to accept without negotiation but I also don’t know what to negotiate…help?

    1. Why is asking for more too much? You are currently in a job making the same salary. Most people would not move without an increase. And 2 weeks PTO is not generous if that includes sick time.

      Respond that you were expecting a salary increase and not a lateral.

        1. +1. You’re probably giving up accrued PTO or have been accruing it at a higher rate. Ask for 5-10% more salary and another week of PTO.

    2. Two weeks of PTO is abysmal IMHO! Most places are willing to negotiate on this in my experience. I would ask for at least 3 weeks.

        1. Should say I read it as two weeks vacation. If it also includes sick leave I agree that’s stingy and you should negotiate.

          1. It almost always includes sick leave in the US. This is why people come to work sick. PTO is an abomination and yes, this is the hill I will die on.

        3. Hello from Australia: standard four weeks recreation leave and another four weeks sick/carers leave.

          2. We have pretty strict biosecurity laws so you might have to go into goldfish quarantine, but yes, I will!

        4. I don’t think that two weeks of vacation is standard in the US in the types of white collar jobs that most people on this board have. The only time in my career that I have had only ten days of vacation was with a pretty dismal employer during the Great Recession. Everywhere else I have had between 15 and 25 days, aside from one employer that had unlimited PTO (with an informal expectation that you could take around 4 weeks). I think that two weeks is more common in the kind of jobs where you’re just happy to have any benefits at all.

          1. I have a job with more time off, but I know a lot of white collar professionals with only 10-15 days of vacation leave. Most of these people have grad degrees and are 10+ years into their career.

      2. I get about 23 days PTO which includes vacation and sick, but we can rollover maybe 10 days each year. I had two weeks paid vacation when I worked for very small law firms. There’s a reason I left. You can find decent jobs with decent PTO even in the US.

    3. Please also in the future:

      – never tell a recruiter how much you currently make
      – say you can discuss salary once you understand the specifics of the role

      You need to learn about job negotiations. Recommend Her Money Podcast, Ask a Manager or other similar resources for you to read up on how to handle this more smoothly for your next search. GL!

  16. What’s the consensus lately about buying a new car vs a used car? I know buying slightly used has been better in the past, but has that changed with the pandemic and recent economy? I’m looking at buying a Corolla Cross, which is a relatively new model anyway.

    1. Where I am, used is almost as expensive as new so if there’s not a wait for your new car (or you can wait for it and don’t need it immediately), I’d buy new.

    2. I vastly prefer buying a new car. I bought mine in 2019, and even at that time, a good used car cost enough that it wasn’t an amazing deal to get a used one. That’s even more true now. I like the new car because everything is under warranty, I feel secure that I won’t have major problems for a long time, and I can control the maintenance and how well the car is taken care of. Plus with a new car, I can get all the most updated safety features and tech.

    3. Right now is not a great time to buy any car due to supply chain shortages. You’ll be paying sticker for a new car, or close to it. You used to be able to get a 1 year old used car at a significant discount to new, but it’s not necessarily true anymore because the demand still outpaces supply. So right now, I’d probably just bite the bullet and buy new, but not expect a deal.

    4. I would run searches for both used and new cars with your requirements and within your budget, and then purchase whatever you can get your hands on.

    5. I bought my little used Honda Civic in 2015 for under $14K. I’m babying it as much as possible so it lasts until cars are less expensive. If I needed a car now, I’d be open to a new one.

    6. I’m team lease a car. Don’t lease to go up in what you could afford though. Lease what you’d buy – it’s a set amount every month, no maintenance costs ever and no surprises. You always have a new car. It’s not worth the small savings of owning a car for a very long time to me to do that.

    7. At this point, buy whatever you can on the lot if you need a car now. Unless you can wait a few more years, there’s not that much difference. A coworker of mine waited 2 years (from late 2020) to get a relatively new Toyota, in the end, this year he gave up and just bought a new Honda a month ago because his family needed a new car to chauffeur the kids around

  17. Does anyone have and regularly use one of those quick-dry towels that are supposed to be super-absorbent? Now that I am washing my hair every morning, I need to get my hair dried as quickly as possible. I am tempted to get one of these unless it’s just a gimmick.

    1. If you’re talking about an Aquis type towel, they’ve been around forever. They do work. I mostly like them because they are lightweight and when I wear a towel on my head, I like it to be lightweight and to stay in place.

      I do notice the difference when I travel and don’t have an Aquis towel. My hair is more wet when I go to use the hair dryer. The microfiber towel alone won’t completely dry your hair, but it helps,

      You didn’t ask this but I prefer the regular rectangular towel. I have never gotten the turban shape with the button to work as well.

    2. I have a Target brand one that is 4+ years old and I do notice a difference when I wear it for 5-10 minutes after getting out of the shower while running around doing other things (feeding the dog, making tea, brushing teeth).

    3. Those always mildew for me. I find that wrapping my hair in a cotton t-shirt for a few minutes works better.

    4. Oh I forgot about those! I’ve had the turbie twist from Amazon before and it worked great. Ordering now that I need to speed up my mornings again.

  18. Help, my head is exploding! C-level executive for small private company here. Another woman, who works for a business partner, just referred to me as the CEO’s assistant in an email introducing me to a third party. She could have just said “You may want to talk to C-level Anon about this,” there was no reason to include a job title if she didn’t know. The casual sexism is stunning. We have 24 year-old men in our organization who are already gunning to add “senior” to their job titles, and I would bet good money they’ve never been called an assistant by anyone.

    Has anyone experienced situations like this, and how do you deal with them? It’s been a few years for me, so I was younger, and only director level. I don’t know why, but today this really got to me.

    1. You are correct that no one is calling the men assistants.

      I would make sure the original sender is cc’d in your response to the email, and state your actual title. If she is introducing you to Gladys, your response should start: “Gladys, I am the Chief Marketing Officer for SmallCorp” and then carry on with your response.

    2. How annoying! Is your job title in your signature block? I’d reply, say “nice to meet you, to clarify xxx is CEO’s assistant if you need yyyy and I look forward to working with you on xyz”.

      2. Yes, my title has been in my signature block for years, and this woman has been cc’d on emails from me in the past. I don’t have a problem establishing hierarchy once I’m working directly with someone, so my relationship with Gladys will be fine. I deal with more subtle/implicit sexism on a regular basis in my male-dominated industry, but I think this small thing got to me today because it came from a woman.

    3. I would be sure to tell the actual assistant (nicely) that she introduced you with the wrong job title, in person if you are able.

    4. Thank you everyone for the responses. I wanted to close the loop and let you know what finally helped me feel better. A woman I’m mentoring came to me for help with a project. She asked a question that showed she totally understood why we are doing the project and what is important about it. A man about her age, who always makes it a point to name-drop his more prestigious educational “pedigree,” had just circulated an email that showed that he’s missing exactly that point.

      I took the woman aside and I said, “That is exactly the right question to ask. You are brilliant, you know. I want to make sure you are registering this, because as a woman you won’t hear it very often.” The icky feeling I’d had in my stomach for 3 hours disappeared the very next moment.

      1. And yes, I did say something to the person who mis-labeled me, but for some reason even though she apologized I didn’t feel better. Kind of realized it wasn’t her I was upset with.

      2. Love the followup about the mentee.

        And ugh on the institutional casual sexism!

    5. So frustrating. I don’t have any advice, just commiseration from someone who as a Partner at a big law firm would sometimes be referred to by 3rd parties as so-and-so’s associate (when I’d be advising together with another Partner)…. And despite my title being clearly listed on the firm’s website and in my email signature. It was infuriating.

      1. OP here. Just got another commiseration story from a (male) aerospace engineer who constantly gets treated by tech support as if he’s stupid because he has an accent. He said people tend to answer the questions *they* think he should be asking, rather than his actual questions. It gave me pause, until I realized that’s probably happened to me (I also have an accent), but I generally don’t take it personally because I tend to assume the other person is “slow,” and keep asking the question in different ways until I get an answer. I wonder what other types of micro-agreesions I’ve encountered that I don’t notice!

    6. Back in the day when I was a partner in a midsize law firm, I often traveled to depositions with a male court reporter. I’d say pretty much 10 out of 10 times everyone assumed he was the lawyer and I was the court reporter. Gah.

  19. I would be sure to tell the actual assistant (nicely) that she introduced you with the wrong job title, in person if you are able.

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