Wednesday’s TPS Report: Side-pleat dress

88 Comments

1. I love the purple color they have in this dress. But I’m afraid that the side pleats will simply make it look like I have a dress that is too small.

2. Love the color of the dress! I just bought a cardigan in a similar color and it is surprisingly versatile.

   Sorry for the early threadjack but:

   I’m a law student (rising 3L) and an alumni mentor has been recommended to me. I’m not sure what one does with an alumni mentor – can you guys please advise? Do we just email, get coffee, or what? How much contact should there be?

   Also, is there any specific protocol if the mentor works at a place where I am applying for a job (large, non-firm)? I obviously don’t expect this person to get me the job and I want to avoid creating that impression. TIA!

   1. Good question, Anonie. I’ve been assigned a mentee via my undergrad alumni association, and I have no idea what to do with her either. I’d love to hear what the hive has to say on this.

   2. I served as an alumni (alumnae?) mentor years ago, and my mentee and I still keep in touch. I would think it’s up to the mentor to contact you, but if she doesn’t you should email her about how pleased you are that she’s been suggested and say that you’d love to get together sometime. I would expect that she would take you out for lunch or coffee and that you guys can talk about her career, what she likes/dislikes about the work she does, what sage advice she has for you (e.g., what she wishes she had known at your stage), etc. When you meet you might mention that you’re applying at her firm, but I wouldn’t ask her to do anything about it, as that might put her in an uncomfortable spot; see what her reaction is and go from there. The point is not to get you a job but to give you useful insights. I hope it works out.

      1. Second this. I prefer going out to lunch with mentees near my place of work. My firm covers the lunch under “recruiting” or “networking” or somesuch and I don’t feel like I’m taking a bunch of time off in the middle of the day.

         I’d have a few questions ready to go and some idea of a direction you want your career to take.

         I was always shy at doing these things until someone suggested that I think of it as if the situation were reversed. So how would I feel if my undergrad assigned me as a mentor to someone who wanted to learn more about law school?

   3. Not a lawyer, but have served as an alumn(ae), career mentor, etc. several times. The frequency of contact is up to you and the mentor, but in order the get the most out of the relationship my advice to you would be

      – go ahead and initiate contact, much in the same vein as anonymous above suggested, expressing enthusiasm and appreciation for the opportunity to talk with him/her
      – let her know a little bit about you (even if s/he already has some info), like what your area of focus is, where you’re working this summer, and if, say, you’re leaving town for the next month (to make meeting up a bit easier)
      – mention 1-2 different things you’d like to ask him/her about, to start off with. the conversation will evolve, but just to kick it off

      Makes it easier for the mentor if they have a clearer idea of your background and what you’d like to get out of the relationship. They will probably suggest coffee or drinks or lunch or what have you, depending on their schedule, so I don’t think you need to worry about proposing a specific activity.

      Also – they might pay for you, but obviously don’t assume they will.

   4. I participate in my law school’s mentor program. Depending on how much time the mentee has, I usually take them to court with me, then sit down over lunch and talk about their job aspirations and how they can achieve their goals, and answer any questions they have. I’ve also kept up with some mentees over email, giving them advice on job offers and reviewing resumes. My office does not hire people straight out of law school so they’re usually not trying to get a job out of me.

   5. I’m a mentor, and mostly it’s lunch or brunch, coffee, etc. I’ve also reviewed resumes and cover letters, and opened my linkedin profile so that if they apply somewhere that I know someone I can introduce them.

   6. I just read this blog post about the difference between law school and law practice, and among the good advice, the author touched on the value of mentors. http://law.marquette.edu/facultyblog/

   7. Thank you everyone for your advice!

3. Cute. High cut necklines sometimes make my chest look weird – but I’ll be in the mall this weekend and will seek it out to try on.

   I just got those silver linings shoe liners (for smelly feet!) – I will let everyone know how they work!

   1. I have the same issue with necklines like this. Sometimes I think it’s a matter of my boobs being a little smooshed (yes, I could size up, but then the rest will need to be taken in so I just don’t buy the offending item); other times I think the neckline is cut in a artless sort of way so that it’s just not flattering. It always confuses me because I love boatneck tops & think they can be very flattering, yet a lot of dresses cute like this one, which seemingly appear to be boatneck, just do not work for me at all.

      1. Exactly. I wish they made all women’s clothes with separate bra sizes. Less tailoring, more fitting! I know there is a line that does shirts this way.

4. Cute dress. Like all BR items, not sure if it would actually work out in reality.

   Big PSA — enter code SURVEY for $50 off any $100+ purchase at bloomingdales. I just ordered a really cute pair of shoes.

5. I like this dress, but, like CSF, I worry that the side pleat could make it just look too small and would need to try it on.

   Threadjack: I received a wedding gift from my boss (a judge, I’m a clerk) and his wife. The card is signed with their first names. I call my boss Judge _____, and he signs emails to me with his initials. I don’t feel comfortable calling him his first name, and he hasn’t really invited me to do so. How should I address him and his wife in my thank you note? “Dear Judge _____ and Mrs. _____” (same last name for both)? TIA.

   1. anon – def. call him Judge X and Mrs. X.

      I like this dress a lot – but like so many professional dresses, I wish that it had some sleaves so that I could wear it without a cardigan or blazer at my desk, in the office.

      1. I’m a former clerk and whenever I address personal notes to my Judge I say “The Honorable John Doe and Mrs. Doe”

      2. On the inside of the thank you card: Dear Judge [last name] and Mrs. [last name].

         On the envelope: The Honorable and Mrs. [Judge’s First Name and Judge’s Last Name]

   2. Perfect– they won’t notice either way so write it how you feel comfortable. Lovely of them and of you.

   3. I would just say Dear Judge and Mrs. ____, but your way is fine, too. FWIW, the judge (chancellor) that I clerked for almost always called himself by his first name to me (i.e., he would leave me a voicemail that said “Hi Lyssa, this is Bob, . . . . , or sign notes with just his first name), and he does this to other attorneys, too, although he is almost always super-particular about calling attorneys and other parties in the courtroom Mr. or Ms. Last Name. Regardless, I still always just called him “Chancellor”, as in “hey Chancellor, I’ve got a question . . .” I called his wife Ms. ____ until she explicitely told me not to, just to be polite. and safe.

   4. Thanks for all the quick responses! I appreciate it.

   5. Definitely Judge and Mrs. His wife probably wrote the card and it didn’t occur to her to sign her husband’s name as Judge X.

6. I loved this dress until I tried it on. The side pleat looked really odd on me — like wrinkly not on purpose that would never lay right. The material is a little less cute in person, too.

7. Wanted to get your thoughts on a situation:

   A very good guy friend (actually, my significant other’s cousin) recently introduced me to his girlfriend. She and I got along great (she and I happened to have gone to the same college, missing each other by several years).

   Last week I heard she was putting out feelers for a new job – I didn’t question why as I knew the company she was at was small (I’d never heard of it despite the fact that it’s in my industry) and figured comp wasn’t great. I knew about an opening in my office and told her I’d be happy to pass her resume along. She sent over her resume immediately, I sent it to the appropriate people here (someone several levels my senior) and he scheduled an interview for next week.

   Fast forward to today. I was reading the paper and noticed an extremely negative story about her employer (essentially being investigated by one of our industry regulators for some very shady behavior that reads like fraud). I’d actually read about it a bit last week when the story broke but hadn’t realized it was her company.

   So what would you do if you were me? She’s not in an especially senior role at this other company (think mid-level) and I believe that if something fishy is in fact going on she’s not involved but of course I have no way of knowing for sure. Do I have an obligation to share this info with the senior guy at my office who is bringing her in?

   1. No, you don’t have an obligation to share.

   2. No. Investigations can mean nothing. And your boss should be doing his own due diligence.

   3. I don’t think you have an obligation to share. She might’ve heard something was coming down or seen way too many closed-door meetings and had enough snap to know she should put out feelers. I think you are kind to let her know of the opening in your office, and, as Nancy P says, investigations can mean nothing.

   4. No, you have no obligation. HR/her interviewer will likely be aware of the situation if they’ve done even a bare minimum of due diligence, since the company has actually been in the news. And this investigation is probably the reason she’s looking for a new job.

   5. Thanks, all. Glad there’s such a strong consensus with the answer I was hoping to hear!

8. Corporettes! I am happy, I got a car, finally.
   Now I need to learn driving (with the stick) and in a couple weeks, I will be commuting to work and gym by car.
   I will no longer lug two humongous bags (laptop, purse, gym bag), I will be safe wearing skirts and dresses and heels.
   I am delighted.
   The only downside is that as I looked up my wardrobe, I only found a couple skirts and a dress that are season-appropriate. I should stalk some cotton sheath dresses like the one featured.

   1. Yay! I got a car recently, and the independence it brings is so awesome. Learning to drive (and especially learning to drive stick) is stressful, but totally worth it.

   2. Congrats – especially on getting a manual transmission. The first car I drove in high school was a manual, as is the car I currently drive (and have for the last 8 years). I find them more fun to drive, and it keeps you more connected and aware of the driving experience.

      1. Love driving a stick, but after my H needed multiple knee surgeries we decided that we’d never again buy a manual transmission vehicle. Simply added one more thing to deal with in the event of an injury.

   3. I’ve been driving stick since I got my first car, almost 20 years ago. I actually learned to drive stick on that car. But I honestly feel that manual transmission makes every car feel more like a sports car. Plus, better mileage!

      My current car is 10 years old, but when I got it, the salesman told me that more women drive stick than men.

   4. Yay! The car I drive now I bought specifically for commuting. It is an older car and a manual transmission. So at age 28 I had to learn to drive it. It was stressful, but only took a few times to get the hang of it and now I like it!

   5. Thanks all!

9. No. If you had actual knowledge that she was involved in the fraud-like behavior, yes. If not, I’d myob. Your boss can read the newspaper and draw his own conclusions.

10. Hey Ladies,

    I just graduated from law school (if you haven’t been following my bar prep rants!). I got a pretty bad grade in one of my classes. The thing is, I took the exam a couple hours after getting word that my grandmother passed away (we were very close). I asked about rescheduling the exam but they basically said I would have to take all my exams sometime that week and I decided I’d rather get it over with instead of crunch them all together at the end of the week.

    Is there any way to deal with this grade in job applications? Should I address it in a cover letter, or avoid drawing attention to it unless asked in an interview? Unfortunately, it’s not the only poor grade in my record (and I don’t have a sympathetic excuse for all of them) but the rest from this semester are good.

    TIA for any insight!

    1. Everyone has at least one bad grade, and if it even comes up (which I doubt it would…? at this point, I think your GPA and the fact that you graduated is the key indicator for interviewors), just be honest and explain that you took the final during a very emotional time and unfortunately, it affected your score. They are human, they’ll understand. Sorry you had to go through that :(

       And good luck on the bar–sending good bar vibes your way!

    2. I’ve never once looked at a job applicant’s actual transcripts, other than to confirm that she actually graduated. I care about the total GPA, but not the grade in any one class. I’ve never even looked at grades.

    3. The only time I imagine this would matter is if you are applying for a position in the same field as that class, and it’s your only class in the area (Say, corporations, family law, etc.). In that particular instance, I would have an answer prepared in case the class comes up in an interview, but would not worry about it otherwise.

11. Can I just squee for a sec? After looking for a place and having zero luck for the past couple weeks, I FINALLY have a lead on an apartment that’s in a great location, at a great price (only $25 more/mo than I’m paying now) and allows dogs and parking! And the landlord wouldn’t make me sign for the whole place, meaning I could find a roommate and not need to cash for first/last/security for a 2 bedroom on my own!

    Yay!

    1. Yay, indeed! I’m happy for you – apartment hunting can be so very draining. I really hope it works out. Keep us posted.

    2. that’s good karma (great way to start at a new place)

12. Threadjack: Ladies, any tips on making heels more comfortable to wear all day without switching to flats at some point? I get rubber soles put on all my heels to prevent wear and tear as well as for a touch more support. I also hate how the insoles I find are ones that you have to glue in. Do those “toe petals” actually work? Also, what do you do to make slingbacks and slides more comfortable?

    Looking forward to your expertise and thanks in advance!

    1. I’ve never tried the toe petals but my secret are $5 foam inserts from CVS you place in the part of the shoe that’s right below your ankle. The inserts prevent any ankle blisters which is usually my main complaint. I usally get shoes in 1/2 size up so I can do this. Also, make sure the insert is foam and not gel like. The gel ones slide off easily.

       Other than that, I recommend figuring out what you’ll be doing all day – sitting or standing, and picking the appropriate shoes. Even the most uncomfortable shoe is bearable if you’re at your desk all day. Good luck!

    2. I used the toe petals for my wedding shoes (3 inch heels worn for a good 8 hours) and I was alright. I also tried the Dr. Scholls gel inserts for the toe on a recent night out in vegas with the girls – and by the end of the night my feet where killing me… so I’d def recommended the foam over gels…

    3. I think heels are inherently uncomfortable. I used to live in them and when I hurt my knee, I “temporarily” switched to flats. Now that my knee is better, I just can’t get back into the swing of heels. I’m noticing how much strain heels put on my feet, ankles and knees and find myself selecting outfits that work with flats. The crazy thing is that I’m only in my early 30’s and my poor feet still have many many decades of being squished into heels!

       With that said, I use the foot pedals but mainly because I have narrow feet and they help “fill” in the extra space. I don’t think they are padded enough to make a huge difference in comfort but it does provide some relief. The foot pedals have a sticky part that keeps it secure in the shoe. After about 2 wears, it’s stuck on pretty good so switching them from one pair to another is not practical. I’ve also found that thicker, stacked, heels and wedges are more comfy so on days where you know you need extra comfort, stick to those.

13. Let’s go USA Women’s Soccer! I wish I could buy my baby girl the black jersey in a onesie… they look so cool.

    1. yeah!

14. Melasma–anybody have it? Mine seems to be hormonally-related, and while switching birth control helped, it’s still an issue. Unfortunately, it’s a mainly a problem on my upper lip–a very inconvenient place. Has anybody had any luck with over-the-counter creams? I know there are laser treatments, but that’s a lot of money that I would like to avoid spending. I did get a prescription, but of course the cream wasn’t covered by my insurance (not medically necessary, grrrr), so it was over $200 for a tube. Thanks for any suggestions!

    1. I don’t have any suggestions, but at least with my insurance, if the doctor indicates it’s medically necessary that can override the insurance company’s initial decision. Maybe give your doctor’s office a call and see if they can help? They also might be able to get you some free samples.

    2. Second this question, because I have the same problem (same location) and would love to know if there are any simple fixes.

    3. Vitamin C serum was pretty effective in lightening melasma for me. I’ve tried Vitamin C serum from Murad (good), Silk Naturals (really good) and Avon (just okay).
       Your derm can also prescribe hydroquinone, but that has some other issues that you can google and decide if you’re pro or con.

    4. I recently developed the same problem in the same location. I’ve been on the same birth control pill for years, and have no idea why it suddenly developed now. Anyway, my doctor said I could try a prescription or even a chemical peel, but suggested I first try an over the counter wash and/or cream with glycolic acid in it (to help with cell turnover). The higher the % the better, assuming no adverse reaction. She also recommended a mineral sunscreen (one that contains zinc oxide and titanium dioxide) to keep it from getting worse.

15. My thoughts are with the family of 9 year old Leiby Kletzky, who was found horrifically murdered yesterday. May G-d avenge his blood.

    1. Yes – this story is just horrifying (although – I’m more interested in the justice system than blood vengeance). The poor parents, allowing their son to walk home from school for the very first time and having the most awful thing imaginable occur. And it’s in an insular, religious community much like the one I grew up in. Hits very close to home and is very upsetting.

       I just really, really hope that the NY DA doesn’t manage to mess this case up too.

       1. I was so upset when I read about this. I live not far from where it happened and I saw the missing child posters yesterday evening. Terrible that it had to end this way. I can’t even begin to imagine what the poor family is going through right now – would not wish that on my worst enemy.

          1. I live nearby too and saw the posters on my way to work this morning then saw the news that they found him on my lunch break. It is so sad.

       2. Eponine, the “NY DA” handling this case is not the Manhattan DA (Vance) handling the DSK case, but the Brooklyn DA (Hynes) since this crime occured in BK, not Manhattan. I assume that’s what you were referring to.

          FWIW, I would also disagree that the Manhattan DA “messed up” any case. If you were referring to DSK, strong evidence appears to have been there in the beginning, there was no reason to doubt the credibility of the accusations, the suspect was a huge flight risk, and the DA acted accordingly. When the credibility of the accusations faltered, the DA did not try to continue with the case as-was (as was the case with, say, the Duke Lacrosse case in NC), but alerted both the court and the defense to the changed circumstances at once — as should be, imo.

          At any rate, rest assured, the BK DA’s office has a very good reputation in NY. My heart goes out to that poor family. Such a tragedy.

          1. Maybe alluding to the Anthony case in FL as well?

    2. Tragic, I feel so bad for the parents I can’t even begin to imagine how heart-sick they must feel.

    3. I just looked that up (I’m not in NYC). It’s horrible and so sad.

       I was reading a really disturbing book involving a serial killer (fictional) this week. I got about 45% through on my Kindle, but decided to stop reading it this morning because the subject was so dark and I was actually dreading each new event.

    4. As a mother of a ten year old who is now trying to assert her own independence, this makes me absolutely heartsick. I know these things are rare, but when it does happen it is so, so horrible. My thoughts are with this family.

    5. It truly is sad. I can’t even imagine what his parents are experiencing. Without placing blame on the parents (because I am not), please let this be a lesson to all. Times have changed and while kids need their independance, society is so twisted that we really need to keep an eye on them… even when things appear to be safe. Poor family.

16. Thanks, Kat! Just ordered this in the purple… hopefully it will work out in a regular length (unfortunately the tall only comes in black, which isn’t as fun as the colors). Also, I used the code SURPRISE30 and go 30% off! Not sure if it only applies if you have a BR card, but worth a try for anyone looking to get the dress!

17. Love the dress. Has anyone tried it on? Sometimes BR dresses are a little short on me (I am 5’7″).

18. Someone at my office is wearing a black button down that is lace in the black. Her black bra is clearly visible, I can see the entire back of it as
    well as a lot of skin. Now, am I a prude or is this horribly inappropriate for an office, however casual?

    1. Inappropriate. Unless by “office” you meant “club”

       1. Lol. I’m at a law firm.

    2. I’d say that even in an office where pajamas were the norm, that would be completely inappropriate.

    3. I agree. Inappropriate. She should be wearing a camisole.

       1. A lace back shirt is work appropriate as long as a camisole is underneath?

          1. It is to me.

    4. I do not wear lace. It makes me think of lingerie.
       The only exception is for sleeves. I have a dress that has lace sleeves.

19. I like the dress but have had weird experiences with BR dresses lately – their sizing seems to be inconsistent these days so I would have to try on.

    But can I just pause for a moment to share how much I love MAC lipstick in Girl About Town? A little exuberant for a serious work day, I know, but I’m not seeing any clients today and wearing ferociously pink lipstick makes me feel so….happy! What a great way to start the day.

    1. Ha! My favorite is Plumful, which is slightly plummier than Girl About Town. I also like Lovelorn for a more pink pink.

20. Ladies, I just moved to a new city to accept an in house position after years of misery at a law firm. I’m in my late 20s and single, whereas everyone else that’s management or legal is significantly older. I’ve noticed a number of people my age in the building, but so far the only two people (who aren’t management) who have said hello are two guys about my age. I’m desperate for some socialization and to meet people in my new city/company, but I also don’t want it to seem that I’m interested or trying to date anyone. Any suggestions on how to start mingling with new coworkers (most of whom are male) without seeming desperate, inappropriate or flirty?

    1. Check with someone more senior first and then send out a general invite to socialize after work. Just be honest and say you’d like to meet everyone or if you like say it was the tradition at the last place you worked. I wouldn’t just invite the young people but odds are that’s who will go so you’ll achieve the intended result. Throwing a dinner party is an
       Option too if you office is more formal but that is a lot of work…

    2. Tell them to bring friends– they will or they won’t, if they do, great, if not, they get that you don’t mean it as a date. What’s wrong with meeting guys and/or dating, p.s.?

       1. Thanks. And I’m definitely interested in meeting guys and dating — just maybe not at a brand-new job. Also, besides not finding either of these guys attractive, I really just want to make some friends at this point and worry about dating later.

    3. Could you start off seeing if you can eat lunch with them? Especially since you’re new to the area, I think a, “I would love to break up the work day and try the Thai restaurant on the corner, would you like to join” would be appropriate. Once you’ve gotten to know them a little bit during lunches and coffee breaks, you can decide if you want to pursue out-of-work friendships.

       1. Be patient, open and friendly and relationships will organically form. I agree with somewhere(less)cold. Extend a few lunch invites and then just see where it takes you.

21. How does BR sizing compare to Ann Taylor? If I’m a size 10 in AT, will 10 work for BR?

    1. Probably not…I find that Ann Taylor runs much smaller than BR. I usually wear a 2 or 4P in Ann Taylor and wear a 4 or 6P in Banana, sometimes 6 regular. I also find that each item in Banana runs differently. I’ve had Banana outfits that are composed of a size XS top, size 6 jacket, and size 4 pants. Very easy to return items bought online to the BR store though…

    2. I have the opposite experience and have to size up in BR compared to Ann Taylor. Perhaps Ann Taylor is more accommodating to curves than BR?

       1. Ha…actually that is what I meant to say (obviously from what I posted, I also size up in BR). I meant to say I’m a smaller size in AT…geez, is it Friday yet?

    3. If you have wide hips, broad shoulders, or a large b*st, I would size up in BR. I find that AT runs a bit larger than BR, but BR’s clothing isn’t always consistently sized.

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