Wednesday’s TPS Report: Woven Jacket

55 Comments

1. I noticed this jacket at Nordstrom last week. The color caught my eye, but the cut read “old” to me. My mom was with me, and she is a very well-dressed almost-seventy-year-old, and she loved it.

   1. That was my impression too – this is something I would see an older woman wear to church.

2. me no likey. reminds me of my favorite jacket in the 1990s.

3. Soooo tired of the big clown buttons…

   1. Oh my god, yes!

      They always make me feel ridiculous at around the 3rd wear.

   2. And are too memorable to wear more than once or twice a month

4. love.

5. Horrible. Just horrible

6. Oh, forgot: Hi Daddy Corporette! LOL.

7. I really like this with jeans and flats, but putting it with a black skirt or black plants looks a little 1980s and 1990s to me.

8. wouldn’t buy this

9. love.

10. Send in the clowns.

    Speaking as a long-waisted, big-hipped woman, the *last* thing I would want to do is obscure my waist with those ruffles.

11. Not sure how versatile this color would be, I can’t see it working with anything other than black and a small accent color. I like the shape but I think it would be most appropriate for someone in their 40s or older.

    1. I actually wouldn’t wear this (if I did wear it in the first place) with black. This blue + black is a bit too early 90’s for me, in a much too literal sense. I think gray & white would look much more fresh with this kind of blue.

       1. Maybe the blue on black styling is what is making it read old to me, I might like it better styled the way you suggest AIMS. For some reason those large black buttons are making it hard for me to envision how it would look with gray or white.

12. Slightly off topic – I bought the Suit of the Week last week, which is also from CE, and I love it! The material is substantial but not stiff, and the texture is very rich. The cut of the jacket is nice (although I wish it had a vent in the back). It fits true to size for that brand, which for me, tends to fit a little smaller than AT.

13. I have this jacket and really like it. I’m surprised by the comments that it looks old, that’s not the sense I get at all. I will say, however, that the jacket length is a tad too short for my taste, I wish it was about 1-2 inches longer. You will definitely need to wear a cami underneath so that when you raise your arms, you don’t give anyone a show.

    1. Wouldn’t you be wearing a shirt underneath this jacket anyway, making a cami irrelevant? I’m confused.

       1. I wear a cami underneath, not a real shirt because this jacket strikes me as the kind that you wear buttoned up so no one sees what I have on underneath anyway. Also, it’s a pretty fitted jacket so I have found that a cami works best.

          1. I would still wear a shirt. I don’t know what it’s like for most people, but most jacket linings make me sweat a lot and I prefer to minimize the drycleaning bills.

14. For those who don’t like the blue, they had this in-store in an off-white, which was lovely.

    1. Would LOVE this in off-white, thanks for the tip!

15. The ruffles on this make the model look shortwaisted – and draw the eye toward her stomach – she might not mind (she is a size 0 model after all) but I’m not interested in people looking at my stomach more! Also – yes, I think this looks a little too old for my tastes — but although that could be because with the short sleeves, ruffles, and big buttons, there’s just too much going on.

    Congratulations to the reader who stalked it until it went down in price – I’m always wowed by that level of perseverance/dedication (who says men are the hunters!?)

16. Is the cash + gift a New York thing? Everyone I know here (Bay Area) just does the gift (typically flowers or some sort of gift basket)–cash is only at Christmas.

    1. I’m in the South – flowers are pretty typical. Cash is at christmas.

    2. I just did a really nice flower arrangement, no cash. Not in NYC either.

    3. We (the 3 attorneys sharing an assistant) are doing gift card + flowers + lunch.

       1. I did flowers + a Starbucks gift card as my assistant goes there 2x a day. She and I have agreed it’s a never-go-wrong gift for her.

    4. I also did card + flowers, and I’m in Chicago. I do cash at Christmas.

       1. I just did flowers, as I did last year. My asst genuinely seems to like them. I don’t think the other lawyers she works for did anything!

    5. I did nice card + $50 gift card, am in Chicago.

    6. Our managing partner goes around and gives a $100 bill to each of the staff, but we are in the Midwest, so may be a regional thing.

17. I assume by “cash,” one means “gift card?” I think a greeting card full of cash is crass. Oh, how I loathe Admin Professionals’ Day.

    1. It’s so awkward, isn’t it?

       1. So. Frigging. Awkward.

          1. Soooooo awkward. Especially when your assistant does very little assisting and has made it perfectly clear that she does not like working for someone younger than her. Every “thanks, great job!!!!” card I give her feels incredibly insincere.

    2. Especially when if it comes from the company (cash or a gift card) it’s not considered de minimus income — i.e. is taxable – so you either need to gross it up to cover the income tax or she has to pay tax on her ‘gift’ — better to stick with the flowers or lunch.

18. Did CE get rid of its petite sizing?

19. A colleague has this, and I really like it – the look is authoritative but still feminine.

20. I like this jacket.

    Thread hijack: I am wondering what sort of legal recourse, if any, I have against an ex-boyfriend who is harassing me/my husband over email. I dated this guy for 3 years and it ended very, very badly (as in, I had to call the police and have a restraining order against him). He was never physically violent but extremely emotionally abusive and threatening in other ways.

    During the days leaving up to my marriage to my husband, this ex sent very nasty emails to my husband about my sexual history. My husband knows all about me so none of this was new information, but it frightened me to think that this ex was not able to let go and wanted to sabotage my marriage.

    I have not communicated with my ex in over 8 years. Just last week, he sent yet another email to my husband discussing intensely private information about me. He again reiterated that he slept with me (which is true, and is a very, very big stigma in my conservative community because the sex was premarital) and that I had plastic surgery (also true). He has also hinted to my husband that he has “proof” of my sexual history, as in a video of some sorts. I am terrified.

    I am extremely worried that he will leak this information out to my family, my husband’s family, or even to colleagues and the wider public. I am a very hard working and successful lawyer who has developed a strong reputation over the years. I have aspirations of becoming a judge some day, and don’t want this idiot to ruin my reputation.

    I would appreciate any advice on this issue. Thanks so much.

    1. Yikes, I’m so sorry! Read Gavin de Becker’s “The Gift of Fear” and talk to a professional (I’m not sure what the official title is – let’s go with “stalker wrangler”) in your area ASAP. They know how to deal with this kind of thing, and usually well-meaning stalkees just make things worse.

    2. Does your restraining order indicate that this jerk cannot contact you or your family? If so, you may be able to go to the police and complain that he has violated the order. If not, or if the restraining order has lapsed, I believe you cannot do much about emails unless he is threatening violence or explicitly trying to blackmail you. (I don’t know that this is necessarily true in all states, but that has been the experience of a friend of mine in Illinois who was also stalked.) That said, I would still go to the police – you want to create a paper trail and history of complaints about this guy, so that if he keeps it up the police are more likely to take it seriously. You may also want to do a quick Google of anti-stalking laws in your area.

       Good luck. And, for what it’s worth, an ex from nearly a decade ago who sends deranged emails to your community will likely be regarded as a nutcase and a liar – please don’t think that everyone you know will believe him.

       1. Yes, I wonder if it would be helpful to mention to family members now how concerned you are about a deranged ex trying to attack you (and he is clearly deranged even if what he’s saying is technically true). They’ll likely discount him anyway, but couldn’t hurt to lay groundwork either.

    3. Oh wow, I am so sorry. This sounds like a very difficult situation. Other than the restraining order, I’m not sure what legal options you have. What does he want from you? He sounds emotionally vested in some way in attacking you, suggesting that a finacial settlement + confidentiality agreement would not be an option. I can’t really imagine having a confidentiality agreement with an ex, but at least then you would have a contractual basis for legal recourse if he did share this information with the public. You might consider posting this on the Friday open thread to get more responses.

       Good luck.

    4. get your restraining order renewed. i suspect that the proof is not in the form of a video, or he would have raised this issue LONG ago. more likely photos of you two hugging or love letters from you.

       consider lawyering up: would sending nasty letter on lawfirm letterhead deter him, or spur him to spread stuff about more widely?

       agree that this person is not likely to strike anyone as credible.

    5. If he was to do the things he is threatening you may have an invasion of privacy case. Google Tucker Max and Ms. Vermont. Tucker Max wrote “I hope They Serve Beer In Hell” a book about his sexual exploits. He was blogging about what he did with Ms. Vermont and she sued. He got around it by just posting all the pleadings to the blog which are public record and contain the same info. She ultimately won and he couldn’t say her real name in his writing. Hence, he called her Ms. VT, and used her body as his book cover with her face blurred out. Obviously not a real win in that case but she may have got some money too. Suing will likely make this much more public but there is such a tort if you want to look into. I wouldn’t go the slander/libel route because truth is a defense and that will leave you trying to prove that it isn’t true which would be just as embarassing – esp. if it is true. The invasion of privacy stuff protects you where what occured was true. Try to get some kind of gag order against him if you do decide to take the legal route.

    6. Also, if you are not doing it already, keep a log of everytime he contacts you or your husband. Save the emails, and print out copies just to be safe. Even if you don’t have legal recourse now, you may later, and developing a paper trail now will help you pursue all your options later.

       1. If you live in a state where GPS monitoring is available with restraining orders, try to get one. That way you would be notified immediately if he came near your home, office, etc.

    7. Thank you so much for all for the comments and support. He lives in another state that is quite far from where I am, so I am not all that concerned about him coming close to me. Unfortunately, he can do damage from afar, namely with these sorts of emails and Internet stalking.

       I am certain that my restraining order lapsed years ago (I have since moved from that state, so I’m not even sure it would be valid). On one hand, I keep hoping that he will forget about me and move on (it’s been 8 years after all) so I am hesitant to do anything that will make him more angry. But, if he continues to bother me/my husband, I will have to reconsider that decision.

       I have saved all of the emails he has ever sent me and my husband. The caveat to that is that he typically sends messages to my husband using a made up name — so it’s hard to prove that he is the sender. However, I know his writing style well and the amount of detail he includes makes me certain that he is the sender.

       NYC — I don’t think he wants anything from me except to make my life miserable and sabotage my happy marriage. He wrote to my husband before we were married because he was hoping that my husband wouldn’t want to be with me because I wasn’t a virgin. It’s pathetic. He desperately wanted to marry me and was furious that I refused him. Ironically, he is married and even has a child, so I just don’t understand why he cannot let go of me.

       Zee – I will read that book, thanks.

       Sam – I pray that you’re right and he has no video. I suspect that this is true . Knowing him, he would have stooped low enough and sent it to my husband if he really had possession of something.

       I also take comfort in those of you who assure me that people won’t believe him if he were to leak out this information about me. I agree that most people would think he were deranged (and in fact, most people I know dislike him), but I am still worried about it. I am so angry that he has power over me, even after all of these years.

       1. While not diminishing your situation, I’m surprised that communities still exist that are so conservative that they are shocked that someone had pre-marital sex. Where I live, it is far more shocking to not have!

          1. I see what you mean, but I’m not surprised by this woman’s situation at all. If she or her family were originally from most parts of Asia/Middle East (even if they are living in the US now), premarital sex is absolutely taboo. I think it was last year when a woman from NYC was killed by her own father for having premarital sex. Mind you, she was not in Saudia Arabia or Iran, but NYC. It’s frightening and absurd, but there are many communities where this is absolutely shunned. It’s a terrible double standard because men can go around and do whatever they please, but women are stigmatized. It makes me so mad.

    8. Wow — Definitely check in with your lawyer about your restraining order, and notify your local police in case he tries to make contact with you. You could sue him for harassment, and blackmail is illegal, but if you take any major legal action odds are your past will become more publicized, not less…

21. Reminds me of the clothing in Dynasty and Dallas (TV shows).

22. I really like the color, but it sort of reminds me of a tutu. Not sure I could pull that off.

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