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Pictured: Mikasa “True Blue” Espresso Cup/Saucer, available at Macys.com for $16 (was $23).
Sales of note for 9.19.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
I have a coworkers wedding to attend in November. Is this dress (http://www.dorothyperkins.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=true&catalogId=20552&storeId=12552&categoryId=155424&parent_category_rn=49448&productId=1370381&langId=-1) appropriate? And if so, what kind of shoes should I pair with it?
Mel
If it’s a fancier wedding that requires cocktail attire, I don’t think this would work. It’s just too casual and would be hard to dress up enough to work for a more night look. I have a similar dress I wore to a daytime wedding in May and it worked well. I was considering wearing the dress again to a wedding in November, but the bride informed me in no uncertain terms that the dress was cocktail attire, so I’d better be dressed up. I just didn’t feel like the dress could be dressed up enough to cut it to her standards. Granted she is a bridezilla type, but I would hate to go to any wedding underdressed. There are plenty of modest cocktail dresses out there that I think would work fine.
Sarah
Too casual.
s-k-s
Cute dfress! I think it depends on the time of the wedding – if it is in the evening, then you might want to wear something a little more cocktaily.
Have you ever ordered from this site before? They have some other cute clothes and I’ve never tried them … just wondering!
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
I have ordered from them before. I was really happy with the shipping and everything, but I warn you that it is an overseas website so we in the US would never qualify for free shipping and we have to pay for shipping if we want to return something. So my advice is make sure that you are sure before you buy,
Kathryn
Shoes–assuming it is daytime, black leather pumps. I would choose shoes I could stand in without pain, because I find that daytime weddings involve a lot of that.
If it’s nighttime, I agree that something dressier might be better, or you might be able to dress this up with one or more blingy brooches–I collect them from eBay, or dress clips. I’m not totally sure what the fabric texture will be, but many cocktail dresses come in matte jersey with a rhinestone pin, so….ultra-sheer black hose, and black satin pumps, or velvet. I have cheated and worn suede, although strictly speaking suede is for country wear (black suede??!?!? whatever) Not calfskin for night though.
S
its a cute dress, but it looks a little casual for a wedding, and a little summer-y for november. looove your screen name!
Sharon
It’s a little on the casual side but you could probably get away with it. Wear strappy metallic sandals — not strappy black sandals, those won’t look good. Carry a great clutch that echoes (though doesn’t match) the metallic on your sandals. Wear chandelier or diamante earrings, but nothing at the neck. Take the dress to an accessories store, they’ll take care of you. I routinely take clothing into a boutique near my house and they help me pick out accessories.
divaliscious11
Don’t know if it’s dressy enough for the wedding, but it really is quite pretty…so much so I may need to order it myself!
housecounsel
I think it’s perfectly appropriate for a “work wedding.” I’d wear it with strappy black sandals and a dressy clutch.
housecounsel
I know we have discussed hair length on this site, but have we specifically discussed hair length as it relates to age? I’m pushing forty, and wondering if at some point, having hair below my shoulders, even just a little and always blown out carefully, makes me look like I’m trying too hard.
I was going to say I was wondering if it was time to switch to anchorwoman hair (between chin and shoulder), but lately I have noticed quite a few anchors with hair longer than shoulder length. Frankly, I don’t like the Rapunzel look on women reading the news . . . maybe my clients don’t like the look on women protecting their assets?
anonymous
I am in the over forty group an I have longish hair (just past my shoulders) with bangs and lots of layering. When I first cut my hair this way, I received lots of compliments. It it versatile as you can wear the bangs pinned back, curled under, to the side, etc. I recommend it.
Kater
My mother is 53 and has long, beautiful hair she wears to almost (but not quite) the middle of her back. I think that once a woman chops her hair short she immediately looks old, and the shellac that usually accompanies such hairstyles usually makes her look unattractive and fusty, too. I say, keep your hair the way you want it: I suggest a conservative bun or chignon, but as long as you’re not teasing your bangs or wearing a Bumpit you’ll probably be fine.
Sue
Women over 40 in lawfirms or corporate practice almost uniformly have hair above the shoulders. Anything longer just doesn’t look polished and modern. There’s plenty of flexibility to wear your hair in a sleek bob, or with loose or tighter curls. But hair that drags on the shoulders seems inconsistent with the classic look you see on most women of that age in senior positions.
Kathryn
Some “experts” suggest that collarbone-length hair will help conceal an aging neck. I think it depends on whether your hair is thinning or has texture changes that make longer lengths unattractive, and whether the longer length visually drags down any jowling. Supposedly the universally flattering length is between chin and shoulder.
I am a fan of a neat chignon or French twist, but many fashionistas disagree. I wear my hair no longer than just below the chin because it is fine and thin, but I would gladly wear it grazing the shoulders if I could. I think Anonymous describes a great hair style and length if you have the hair thickness and texture for it.
Kater
I’m guessing those “fashionistas” that don’t hold with the chignon or French twist don’t have old-lady above-the-shoulders hairstyles, either. And if they do, we ought to take away their titles!
Kathryn
I think they either have whatever the style of the “moment” is, or they have their signature style, just as they wear black all the time, and dictate to the rest of us! LOL
Over 55 Anna Wintour, of course, has a just above the shoulder bob with bangs, and her chief lieutenant, over 60/65?, Grace Coddington has long long wild red hair. Over 35/40? Stacey London has quite long hair, and Heidi Klum (over 35?) has the length of the moment, which is grazing the shoulders, unless she’s put in extensions!! Yup!
jojo
No! We’ve got to buck this a-woman’s-hair-gets-shorter-as-she-gets-older nonsense! Women can and do look professional and age-appropriate with hair past the chin or the collarbones. The Anna Wintour bob is *not* mandatory once you hit 40 (or at any age).
Sarah
I think it depends on your hair. As we get older, our hair tends to dry out. Frizzy hair just looks worse when there is more of it. However, I work with a woman who has the most beautiful dark, lush hair and she’s in her mid-late 50s. I’ts below her shoulders and she looks fabulous. If you like your hair, keep it. Don’t let old sayings like long hair over 40 is bad. Those things are out moded.
Kim
Today on my metro ride I was contemplating the short hair phenomenon. Unless it’s a stunning cut, short hair makes you fade into the background, i.e. forgettable! I agree, layered hair below the chin does not look like one is trying too hard.
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
C (or anyone else who wants to answer)-
I am also wondering if you could pick seven to ten pieces that every woman should have in her wardrobe, what would they be? Thanks so much and no matter what anyone else says, this site and C ROCK! Keep up the good work!
Courtney
I think this would be influenced by where in the country you are, but here’s my take (I’m in the Northeast)
How about…
1. A trench coat
2. Knee-length skirt
3. Pants
4. Blazer (ideally one that goes with the skirt and/or pants)
5. Black pumps
6. Black dress
7. Jeans
Kathryn
Nice, Courtney. I guess I’d say you could pass on the skirt if the blazer went with the dress, and put some kind of top in there? Take out the jeans instead? For ten pieces, I’d keep all seven and add three tops that go with the bottoms in face flattering colors in seasonless weights–in silk or silk-like knits, in a sleeve length you can handle in summer. If you can add a cardigan to mix and a couple of silk scarves, necklaces–good to go!
A trench coat with a removable lining–I wish I had bought a Burberry when I was in my twenties and hung onto it. The per-wear amortization would have been incredible!
Litigator
Help!
I just got called for trial, and am having a “what to wear in front of a jury for four weeks” wardrobe crisis. I live in a somewhat informal city (West Coast / California) but this is a formal judge. I don’t have enough formal suits to get through the trial without the jury noticing I wear the same things every day, but have very limited time to expand my wardrobe. Any tips for a pants/skirt/jacket/dress system that I can pull together fast? Thoughts on collared shirts vs. shells for court? And is it OK to wear a dress suit in trial?
AIMS
If the pants/skirts/jackets/dresses you own are neutral in color, you can probably mix and match (e.g., gray skirt + black jacket + black shell or white blouse or black skirt + gray jacket . . . . etc.)
I think dress suits are only okay if they are very conservative and in dark (or at least very neutral) solid colors.
Shells are fine — so long as they are not the camisole type (i.e., with lace at the top).
You should make sure to look your most professional in the first and last days of trial — that is what will make the strongest impressions!
S
Both collared shirts and shells are good for court: shells are preferable if you are busty. Dress with a jacket over is fine for trial. Re: limited time to shop: place an order on J. Crew!
Mel
I think it’s pretty easy to mix and match gray and black pieces if the fabrics are the same weight. I have about 4 skirts, 3 jackets, and a dress in gray, black, or pinstripe that I can mix and match to make 8 distinct looks. Since I’m a little bustier, I prefer to wear short sleeve sweaters under suits. It keeps me from having to dry clean as much as I would with a sleeveless shell.
ClerkChic
I agree with all the mixing/matching suggestions.
I’ve also seen attorneys in court roll the sleeves of their jackets up to 3/4 length. I would never have thought to try this, but it worked. If the sleeves have a nice lining, it looks like an entirely different jacket this way.
Also, don’t feel like you have to wear different outfits every day for the 4 week trial. I’ve actually heard jurors say “It’s not supposed to be a fashion show.” This was in reference to a young, attractive prosecutor who made a bit too much of a point mixing it up.
J
Guys can get by with three suits for a four week trial. It’s so unfair. I’d just try to vary the shirts and accessories with your suits. Or send your paralegals shopping for you . . .
jcb
Ms. Basil, I like the dress! I’d probably wear it with metallic strappy heels if it’s warm where you are, or nice patent peep-toe heels if it’s not. Again probably metallic or even black for the peep-toes. I’m a little down on strappy black sandals right now, no apparent reason. Definitely a dressy clutch, maybe in a fun color.
jcb
oh, and I think some women pull off longer hair very well, well into their gray years. It just depends on your features and your style. I think it can look very elegant and classy if well-maintained. I know where you are coming from – I went through a phase where I felt like I needed to get a more “professonal” cut – but I’m back to a longer style now.
N
I think it’s ridiculous that you should worry that “even just a little” below the shoulders would make you look like you’re trying too hard. If that length suits your face and your hair is styled in such a way as to make you appear professional and competent, that should be acceptable. It’s sad that we have to worry about this kind of thing (although, I have to admit that I am guilty of it).
KLo
For me, I think your hair needs to be a couple inches below the shoulder or above it, but more than anything because your hair curls oddly at your shoulder oftentimes (and looks messy). Humble opinion … but I think long (if done right) CAN be attractive, but on the masses, with little time and effort for hair, short is best.
Kathryn
The “fashion” look is right at the shoulders now–because –ta da–they sell haircuts!!
jcb
and, ten pieces every woman should have:
(1) little black dress
(2) neutral trench coat
(3) designer jeans
(4) dressy dark-colored suit
(5) tailored white button-down shirt
(6) formal gown
(7) casual but nice dress
(8) neutral blazer
(9) quality tote-sized bag, medium purse and clutch
(10) nice boots, flats and heels, preferably each in every color
Ok, I cheated on (9) and (10). Also, some of this is coming to me from having read Tim Gunn’s guide to style – love him.
Kathryn
I haven’t needed a formal gown in years and years…an LBD that I can wear under a jacket to work covers almost everything, and, since I’m in the South, something dressier that isn’t black, white or red to wear to weddings is useful.
I guess it will depend on whether you go on dates or not, and where you live–how dressy the locale…
jcb
definitely depends on locale, I guess. I need a few formal gowns on hand, seems like everything is black tie these days. In fact, I have to pull one out for a wedding tomorrow night! But you’re right, a nice cocktail dress should probably be added to the list for less formal occasions.
Kalorama
Can anyone suggest a place for nice white button downs that are affordable? For whatever reasons, my white button downs are looking a tad shoddy, and I think I need to replace them. I was wondering if anyone had seen some decent ones, e.g. at Ann Taylor, BR, Old Navy, that were worth checking out. Thanks.
Kathryn
If you are talking very basic buttondowns, check out Lands End. I read that Carolina Herrera, the elegant fashion designer, gets her trademark white buttondowns at BR.
S
i saw some nice ones at talbots.
jojo
Brooks Brothers is reliable.
Marla
When Brooks Brothers is having a sale (3 for $X/2 for $X, etc.) their shirts are a great value, I think. I send them out and they last and last. I have some that are several years old and they have definitely been worth the price. They have several different cuts (classic/semi-fitted, etc.) so do spend some time trying them on to figure out the fit you like but once you do, you can run into one anywhere in the country and run out with a great shirt in seconds. (If, say, hypothetically, you find yourself at a conference in another city and forgot to pack a shirt. . . . ) They have them with and without French cuffs, too.
CJ in CA
I love my Old Navy ones! They do wrinkle, but they fit me well, come in lots of sizes and colors, and don’t stand out. I’m sure they don’t wear and last as long as Brooks brothers, but I always end up losing buttons and getting stains any way. And they go on sale occasionally for $15 each- so you can by several of the same color at a good price. I’m not sure if anyone notices that I’m wearing a cheap shirt, but when ironed and under a jacket I don’t think they look noticeably cheap.
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=5382&vid=1&pid=599549&scid=599549112
Kalorama
You guys rock ! Thank you for all the great tips.
Amber
I love the BR no-iron shirts!
Trench?
I’m looking for a cute trench coat. I’m only 5’2″ so something that’s not too long or comes in a petite would be ideal. I saw a cute one at BR a couple of weeks ago but I can’t find it on their website. Any ideas?
Anonymous
I got a beautiful trench coat at brooks brothers outlet last year.
AIMS
I just got one from DKNY that fits perfectly — I am also about the same height and found that most were too long/big to look good. It’s very classic — no stupid details; just very clean lines.
I found mine at Filene’s Basement though — so check online (I’d google DKNY trench).
K
I just got a really nice one at Talbots, in petite.
anon
I got a great trench at Old Navy a few months ago.
Kim
AT makes them in petite! I didn’t have to get an item of clothing tailored for once!
Trench?
Ooh – these suggestions prompt another question – single-breasted or double-breasted trench? I feel like double is more classic (?) but I’m not sure how I feel about it…
Kathryn
Double-breasted is trench coat. Single breasted would be more of a polo coat. I think double breasted is great if you live where you will want/ need to button it up for the cold. Down here in the South, I don’t want all the extra stuff to deal with, so i choose a polo style.
That said, I wish I’d bought a Burberry in the 80s when I lived in Chicago. The removable lining would have meant it worked year-round there–over a suit jacket, it would have been plenty warm, and I could still use it here. Talk about wear-per-dollar amortization!
chickinthestix
ARGH! This week, my remaining (!) Lands’ End non-iron button down shirt split along the sleeve at the crease. This is the third of these shirts to do this. Does this happen to anybody else? All between one to two years of wear.
C. Z.
I’ve never heard of that happening, but you should return them all to Lands end. I’ve had it happen to a seam on one of my swimsuits from them, and they took it back and refunded me a year later.
Anonymous
Just so you all know – Kate Spade is having a Friends and Family Event online until the 4th. The Code is FallFF09 to get 30% off all purchases!
Bonviva
This code isn’t working for me.
Bonviva
Tried it again, and it works in all caps: FALLFF09. There are also some good sales on the Kate Spade web site.
C. Z.
I bought a pair of chocolate brown suede pumps by Tods last year, but haven’t found a way to wear them. They have a 2″ heel, a pointy toe, and are a deep rich suede. They’re my first pair of brown shoes, and I have no idea what colors or clothing items with which I could wear them.
C. Z.
I meant to finish with–does anyone have any advice?
Woman of Color
I have a pair of chocolate brown suede pumps as well (from Sacco) and have worn them with a navy blue jersey dress. The combination works. I have also worn them with herringbone pants (with an orange sweater and cream blazer). I am sensitive about wearing them too often, because suede tends to do odd things after too many wearings. Enjoy.
Kim
What does suede do? Is it a matter of cleaning them often? I was considering buying a pair (not for work!).
Kathryn
Brush them very lightly with a suede brush–I have one that was my mother’s–to raise the nap and prevent shiny spots from developing. Get them wet and you’re cooked, too.
Mel
I feel like I wear out my brown shoes as quickly as my black shoes. I think brown can work with many colors. I like to wear them with khaki, creme, camel, almost any green, blues that don’t have purple undertones, and other colors that have warm undertones. I also have a gray pinstripe suit with the blue/taupe pinstripes that looks really nice paired with a taupe shirt and brown shoes.
mkm
I’ve got a question for you ladies that sort of echoes some of the concerns raised last weekend by a reader with a pregnancy scare — she was wondering at what age (if at all) professional women thought it best to have children. Well…
A few of my girlfriends and I (and we’re not alone, I suspect) are starting to wonder about age differences between women and their significant others/husbands. How much is too much, when it comes to thinking about having a family?
If a girl starts dating someone new at, say, 27, should she refuse to consider anyone under 33, on the basis of not wanting the guy to be ancient when kids graduate from high school?
Do many women think these things out far in advance, or are we just weird? As a professional woman, early in my career, it makes sense to me to consider the age factor in a potential mate, but I’m curious to know others’ thoughts!
(And as for white button-downs, I am loving BR’s collection right now!!)
dr
Good question, mkm. IMHO it is not just about being young (?) enough to be an active father as they are teens, it is also about the marriage! After all, the marriage is the foundation and comes first. Think about what age range allows you to have shared interests and experiences and passions. Music, for example, changes by decades. So does media, food, and fashion. There is a reason that the sociologists and psychologists talk about “generations.” if you stay within your socio-cultural generation, as it were, family and parenting issues should be ok as you’ll share philosophies, tastes, and expectations. IMHO as a PhD psychologist who’s been working with kids and families and parents (yeah, they come along with the kids) for over 25 years now. Best wishes in your dating!
PS some of the older generation dads are the most involved in the childrens’ lives – having job stabilitiy, seniority, and their upper posts to have the flexibility to do carpool, go to sports, etc. Just to take the reverse side of the thread that’s going to start here! There’s a side for everything. On the older side, you must have shared interests and history to last, esp. once those children leave the house. Again, IMHO…not wanting to be thrown out for another young fertile thing at that point?
L
My DH is 3 yrs older than I am. It is a good age difference – we feel like the same age, and when we started dating (I was 22) the normal maturity-related differences between guys and girls helped (eg he was more ready for commitment than most guys my age). Plus we are familiar with the same music, etc.
Lady
Worrying about a man being “ancient” when the kids are in HS? It’s not like one keels over at the end of their 40s (33+18 = 51). Beyond camping and touch football, there’s not that much physical exertion.
When I was in college 7 years ago, everyone’s parents were in their 50s.
C
I am looking for a couple of nice silk type shells (preferably short sleeved) to wear under suits, as I have had the same issues with collared shirts as most here, apparently. I need a petite size xs and am having no luck finding a good source. Any suggestions?
AIMS
Talbots and Lord and Taylor.
Kathryn
Eileen Fisher? eBay has some. I don’t know how tiny they are as I am XL.
jojo
I love Eileen Fisher but if you’re a petite XS, you will be swimming. I usually wear size 6 or 8, and mediums otherwise, but I’m a true small in Eileen Fisher.
millelilly
I am not a very organized person. I have a reputation at work for being scattered and disorganized, and I am wondering if any of you have any suggestions about how to 1. get more organized and 2. improve my image at work.
I do public defense, and have a lot of cases, a lot of files, and go between our main office and our other office 2 hours away. Mondays sometimes have 15 hearings, which means I am dragging around a box on wheels to carry my files. Our office uses Amicus calendaring software, which doesn’t work with my cell phone, so I carry a palm pilot and a written calendar. Many times in the past I have tried using a Dayplanner, but never keep up with it.
What works for you? Do you use dayplanners or smartphones? Both? Neither? Any other suggestions of what might work for me?
BitterJD
It was interesting for me to note that at my law firm, some people and partners make unconscious judgments about a person based on their offices.
I think one of the easiest ways to look more organized to have a clear desk…that means next to nothing on it. You can have stacks and stacks of files along the wall, on the floor, behind you, etc., but if your desk is clear, it makes a huge difference. You can only work on one matter at any given moment, so that can be the only file on your desk.
divaliscious11
That’s interesting. I just attended a conference and one of the issues discussed was making yourself the go to lawyer etc… and when someone asked about determining who the go to attorneys were, several people said take a walk through your office. chances are its not the person with the desk you could land a plane on, ie… clear.
Mille-
You have to figure out the organizational structure that works for YOU. Some people need lists, some use the various ‘org’ programs out there, but unless it fits you, it will just add the clutter…
(If its any consolation, I am too looking for a new organization plan…recently promoted and haven’t yet found my organizing groove for this position yet…. so I feel your pain)
Anonymous
To each their own.
In contrast to that conference, Mille said she had “a reputation at work for being scattered and disorganized.” I presume an air plane cannot land on her desk.
Go-to associates get that reputation by merit, which is spread by word of mouth, not necessarily by the appearance of their office desks. A habitual procrastinator who is unreliable will likely have a desk on which an airplane can’t land, too.
There’s a converse of the “airplane” analogy. The Smithsonian magazine had an article about how aircraft carrier decks have to be completely clean and clear before a plane can land. “All hands on deck” on an aircraft carrier deck traditionally meant that everyone-even senior officers-picked up a push broom and swept the deck completely clear when a plane was due to land.
A goal for the office desk may be the same- keep things clear to ensure the highest probability of a successful landing.
One goal that may work for some is to control one’s desk, instead of having a messy desk control them. If you have one matter on your desk, you may have more energy, focus, and direction to give for that matter. If all other distractions compete for your attention on your desk every time you look up from your paper -piles of memos, redwelds, etc- it may be difficult to have the same focus, energy, and direction on the task at hand.
C
I’m not so convinced the desk needs to be totally clean — so long as you can find everything. A system is essential. I recommend you read David Allen’s “Get Things Done” and start following the blog Lifehacker or Jeri’s Organizing & Decluttering News; you might also want to spend a weekend organizing your office the way you want it to be.
Re: carrying large amounts of papers… does the court where you work allow you to bring a laptop in? How much stuff can you stick on that? Another option is two-sided paper or transcript-style papers — 2 sheets to a page, 4 sheets to a page — it will cut down on paper. (Bring a magnifying glass to help see it — Staples has a lot of options.)
Just for kicks, some links to famous people’s workspaces — as you can see a lot of them are kind of messy.
– http://www.wowowow.com/photo-essay/desks
– http://lifehacker.com/5367129/nine-workspaces-where-famous-folks-get-stuff-done
Mel
I think a desk that is too pristine can give some people the opposite feel. I’ve worked in so many shared spaces that anytime a desk is pristine, it makes me feel like it isn’t my space or that someone is going to come by 2 hours after I leave to use that same space. Having a few piles of paper here and there doesn’t really distract me from my work; in fact, it makes me feel more comfortable in the workspace.
divaliscious11
Surely you didn’t think I , or the comment made at the conference, meant that messy =merit. Of course, the go to person earns that reputation by merit. The point was that the go to person is the person everyone wants working on their projects, hence a significant number of matters/paper on their desk – needing to have an effective way of managing the workload etc…. While it is true that you can only work on one thing at a time, it is not unusual for me to have 5-7 hot projects that I keep on my desk because my clients may call several times a day with various issues/questions. If my files were ‘put away’ I’d spend an hour a day retrieving and putting away files. At any rate, the look for the full desk was merely a clue to who is the go to person in the office, and to reach out to that person for guidance.
Kathryn
I used to go back and forth, depending on how snowed under I was, until I realized I saved so much time by followig one simple rule (sounds like a pop=up ad, huh?)
Put everything away, all the way, as soon as humanly possible. Take the extra time, no matter how tired you are, because there will just be more coming in tomorrow. If you have papers to go in files, put them there immediately–either as soon as you get them, or, if you absolutely cannot, right after the hearing(s), or as soon as you get back to the office. If you absolutely cannot make the time during the week–day-care deadlines or such, then you will have to catch up on the weekend, which is suboptimal. Put files away in the drawer or wherever they go–in banker boxes if need be. Label everything–even temporarily.
Clear the decks at least daily, if at all possible. Put everything away that you can possibly put away. Have a suspense file/area for things that will require short term action. If there is a longer time, make a list/calendar the actions. Also, consider Google calendar.
chickinthestix
I recommend a short book called “The Organized Lawyer.” It actually helped me identify the way I work and suggested a desk/office organization that has worked for me. However, I’m pretty much the type of person who can’t think about substantive things until my surroundings are in order, so organization for me is actually about getting my work done.
Calendar: I’m freaky about my calendar, and I keep Outlook and paper calendars for work, and my husband and I share a family Google calendar. Redundant? Yes. But, it’s the only way I really feel in-control of my work/life. Before I leave the office for the week, the last almost-hour I spend is on my calendar–reviewing the upcoming week and checking to be sure everything on paper is in Outlook or vice versa. In the end, it helps me leave the office at the office, confident that I’m on top of the next week.
I hope you find something that works for you. Good luck!
2plus2
I am on the hunt for some brown boots. I think I have average calves, but my size 9 1/2 foot makes retailers seem to think that my calves are enormous – it’s just my feet! I would ideally like something fall and work appropriate which could transition to Saturday wear. Ideally not a stiletto though I don’t want TOO boxy of a heel. And it’d be nice if they were comfortable too.
C. Z.
Try J. Crew or Tory Burch. Their regular calf boots tend to be too narrow for my more “athletic” calves, and I wear a size teen, so I imagine they would work for you. Both brands are comfortable for flat boots, but J. crew ones will probably need a padded insole to be more comfortable.
http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBrowse/Women_Shop_By_Category/shoes/boots/PRDOVR~18119/18119.jsp
I’m really liking those in Espresso, with the kitten heel and interesting seeming. Not sure how the toe would look, since as a fellow larger-footed lady I tend to like less elongated toe boxes.
http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBrowse/Women_Shop_By_Category/shoes/boots/PRDOVR~18124/18124.jsp
I also LOVE those, I think the color mix is so sophisticate and the brown is just rich-looking. If they had them in extended calf they would be mine.
L
Try Camper. I have a pair from them that fits nicely and I also have narrower calves than many. They also last really well, 4 yrs old and they still look great. (I store them flat so they don’t get any wrinkles.)
Seventh Sister
Probably the best thing I did was go to a single paper planner for everything – work stuff, kid stuff, me stuff, etc. I found that the more planners I had (electronic, paper, wall), the more time I spent checking all of them.
The one I use is a standard-sized Franklin Covey planner (got it at a preschool silent auction). It’s a little hokey, but it works for me.
Yasmin
Has anyone else checked out the new Jil Sander at Uniqlo stuff? They came out this weekend here in Japan but I know there is a store in NY as well. Picked up a white dress shirt – it was $40 but I feel like it looks MUCH more expensive and I love it!
Anonymous
WHy is a shell preferred to a button down for bustier women?
CJ in CA
Fit issues with a button down. I think if you have a marvelously fitting button down it works, but if it’s gaping, pulling, and popping buttons, a shell is a better choice!
Ames
Thank you, MKM for asking this! I am a young lawyer, a year into my career, and have been seeing a man who will be 40 soon. We’ve been dating over a year and I can imagine being married to him, but I can’t fathom wanting kids until I’m at least 32 or 33 – making him 46 or 47. I still don’t know if this is a problem for me, but I have to admit that I’m considering it.
I don’t think Lady’s dismissive math takes into account the real concern… If a younger woman meets a 33 year-old, dates him for two years, has a one year engagement, spends a couple years working on the marriage, etc., she is then having a baby with a 38 year-0ld man. While this seems fine, imagine if she starts with a 38 year-old man. (And I certainly hope that MKM was not invisioning meeting a 33 year-old man and instantaneously becoming pregnant, so as to make the 33+18 = 51 equataion relevant!)
Mel
I think age is just one factor in deciding whether someone is just “too old” for kids. I’ve had plenty of friends in their 20s who were sedentary and couldn’t do much of anything without getting winded, while my grandfather power walked 5 miles a day until he developed health problems at 82 and had to decrease to two miles a day. My grandmother was out gardening, swimming, and walking into her mid 80s. In short, I think lifestyle as much as age can be a deciding factor into whether having kids in the early 40s is just too old. For some men, it may very well be, but for others, the fitness level at 40 may not be that different than it was in their 30s.
Azure
I wed during my last year at law school; I was 24 and he was 36. We waited 5 years to have kids so that I could get my career established. We now have two children.
Pros: He already has a successful career that he loves. Earlier in his life, he completely switched careers twice (including going back to school each time) before finding a fit. I often say that I’m glad I wasn’t dating him then because I might have dumped him on his ear! Another positive is that he was very ready to be married. He was sick of dating and had no hesitations about saying that he wanted the relationship to move towards marriage. As a dad, you don’t have to be young to do things like coach soccer and give your kids piggyback rides. It’s more important that he be on board with the shared parenting/shared household chores philosophy, especially if you keep working. Finally, I’m never worried about him leaving me for a pretty young thing because, hey, I *am* the pretty young thing!
Cons: The biggest one is declining health. Women statistically live longer than men. If I retire at 55, he’s already going to be 67. That definitely makes me want to take lots of vacations now while he’s young, rather than waiting until after retirement. Not to be morbid, but there’s a good chance that I will be widowed in my late 50’s or early 60’s. Also, my husband has high cholesterol; there’s always the fear in the back of my mind that he’s going to have a heart attack and leave me to raise our two young girls by myself.
Regarding music and other generational things. This is really a non-issue. New bands, music and movies come out that you both enjoy. The more you are together, the more shared experiences you have. As long as you like doing things together *now*, it doesn’t matter that the things you enjoyed in high school were not the same. (Plus, the cross-generational thing makes you an unbeatable team at any trivia games!)
One last thing. I live in a wealthy suburb. There are *tons* of new moms in their late 30’s/early 40’s and new dad’s in their 50’s. My husband doesn’t feel out of place at all at back-to-school night or on the soccer field. In fact, I stick out more as one of the youngest moms, even though I was 29 when I had my first.
HTH
Orerexcibra
Howdy,
Im new to the forum and just wanted to introduce myself, i’m Ty . I’ve been lurking around the forum for quite some time looking up info but finally decided to make an account.
Fluirefrera
Hello everyone,
Im new to the forum and just wanted to introduce myself, my name is David and I’m form UK. I’ve been a long time lurker who has finally decided to make an account and contribute.