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Pictured: Mario Batali Cafe Cups and Saucers
, available at Amazon.com for $19.99 for a set of 2.
Sale of the weekend: Maybe it's just us, but it seems like there are a ton of cute dresses and skirts on deep discount at Maxstudio.com
LegallyBlonde
I just ordered this suit (featured a few days ago) from Nordstrom. I plan to wear it with brown shoes, but I don’t know what color tights to wear (too cold to wear skirts without tights this time of year). Any ideas?
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3053196?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=mingled+weave+in+All+Categories&origin=searchresults
Kalorama
That’s a lovely suit. I would wear black shoes if it were me. If you want to wear brown shoes, I think you might have to wear nude stockings.
LegallyBlonde
If I wore black shoes, would brown tights (to match the suit) work?
Mama JD
I too would just stick to black tights to make things easier. It is so hard to match brown shoes to brown tights. IMO, if you wear black shoes, you need to wear black tights.
Mama JD
Also, I forgot to add – you might want to stick to wearing a black top under the suit if you’re wearing black shoes/tights.
s
i would do camel or a brown heather.
KLo
Same here!
jcb
I’d probably do dark chocolate brown tights and heels.
D
I’m starting a new job soon as a contract attorney that I hope eventually becomes an associate attorney position. My big question is, what do I wear on the first day? I need something that says both, “I’m serious and work hard” but also, “I’m really fun and you’ll like having me around.” It’s a small-mid size firm, exactly equal number of female and male attorneys (I know – wow!), and from what I could tell during the interviews, business casual is the norm. Thoughts, Corporettes?
Mama JD
Call me old-fashioned, but I like to wear a pantsuit on my first day in a new position. You’re meeting new colleagues and first impressions are lasting. You don’t have to wear a drab black pantsuit, but a pantsuit would send the message that you are serious. IMO, it’s always best to overdress (except in the rare case of extreme overdressing) than to underdress. You can start dressing like everyone else on the second day.
Midori
Sounds a lot like my firm. If you go pantsuit (which isn’t a terrible idea), make sure you can lose the blazer. We only wear those when we go to court or client meetings, but it’s hard to go wrong with dress pants and sweater. I’d wear ballet flats–to me they say “I’m here to work and not afraid to get my prissy feet dirty” without the tennis shoe “I value comfort above all else, and also when does the baseball game start?” vibe.
Midori
Anyone have any cute, not-sexy-vixen halloween costume ideas? I have a party tomorrow with some friends, and I am totally lacking in creativity here. Last year I was Sarah Palin. I don’t think I can pull off Michelle Obama. Reqs:
1. Pictures of this party may appear on facebook. I have coworkers on facebook. Hence, no sexy vixen.
2. I’m lazy and cheap, and this is tomorrow. It would rock if most of this costume is already in my closet.
3. My husband is going too, and equally uncreative here. Couples costume ideas?
Amber
One of my coworkers had 2 really funny/cheap ideas:
1. Cloudy with a chance of rain — Dress all in blue (jeans and a blue shirt… just whatever), make clouds out of cottonballs and attach them to yourself. Carry a squirt bottle filled with water.
2. Operation (the game) — Wear clothes that look similar to your skin. Cut organs out of cardboard and tape/velcro them to yourself. Wear a clown nose.
Midori
I LOVE it! Bonus for the opportunity to squirt my friends with water. I could give my hubby a flashlight and make him Partly Sunny.
nunahya
Both of those are cute ideas!!!
dr
saw a couple dressed together as a serial killer…one with solid clothes and those little boxes of ceral all over him/her. the other was dressed basically like a criminal with stocking cap, all black, and a big old plastic knife. For me, I’d tape a spoon to the tip of the knife and spread either white out (*milk*) or glue cereal to it. cereal killer!!!
yeah, i work with kids so my humor is basic.
Jen
I’m going as the girl from the Progressive commercials. I got a white apron and stenciled “PROGRESSIVE” across the front, wore jeans and a white polo shirt and made 2 buttons out of thick construction paper. One says “Flo” and the other says “I <3 Insurance" (with an actual red heart there). It only took about 30 minutes to put together (plus time for the paint on the apron to dry) and a quick trip to the craft store for the apron, stencil, and construction paper.
If you want to make it a couples costume, your husband could go as the verizon guy or maybe the sham wow guy.
Mel^2
How about Mad Men? If you have anything semi-vintage in your wardrobe, it would be pretty easy to pull off since you’ll do the majority of the work with your hair/makeup. If your husband has a suit with slimmer lapels, all you’d need for him is a skinny tie.
Emily
My sister and her husband are doing a “gold digger” – wearing gold and carrying a kid’s beach sand bucket with a little hand-held shovel – and “baby’s dadddy” – carrying a doll.
Mama JD
I share a lot of my caseload with a more senior level attorney in my office (I am an upper mid-level attorney). As my name suggests, I am a mother. Well, this particular attorney (let’s call her Mom Hater) has told me that she does not like kids & never wanted to have them. Fine by me – to each her own although I don’t know why this came up because I did not even ask if she had kids in the first place (it would have been rude to do so).
I have tried to ignore all her Mom Hater’s digs about moms and such until now…Recently, we discovered that another senior attorney who has worked in our office for around 10 years will likely be promoted into her soon-to-retire boss’ position and assume her caseload. When Mom Hater heard, she said – point blank – never having worked with this likely-to-be-promoted attorney that she feels this woman should not be promoted to the position because she is too young and (of all things) has two kids. Young? She’s worked in the office for 10 years post-law school! I don’t know her age but doesn’t 10 years speak for something? Also, why would you assume that motherhood keeps someone from being qualified for a position? For goodness sake, the women could have a full-time, live-in nanny. WTH?
I have worked with this attorney who, based on my observation, is very bright, enthusiastic and hard-working. Although Mom Hater questions her experience, the likely-to-be-promoted attorney seemed particularly knowledgeable/experienced about the subject matter with which we were dealing.
Have you experienced this sort of woming-hating-on-other-women attitude in your offices? How do you respond? This particular situation creates a quasi-hostile environment for me since, after all, I am a young mom myself. Obviously, I don’t want to get on this senior attorney’s bad side by dressing her down for making such unsupported conclusions about moms without even knowing their work, but I’m seriously sick of hearing this kinda crap. Ugh!
Midori
Ugh indeed! Sounds to me like all the “I don’t like/don’t want kids” could be some compensating. This women may very well feel like she sacrificed that whole having a family thing for her career, and now she resents that other people who didn’t make that sacrifice seem to be doing okay. Ouch! Maybe I’m giving her too much credit here, but if I had bought into the whole either/or dilemma over work and family and then discovered that I could have had it all, but it was too late, well… I’d have some latent anger.
D
Wow. Being turned down for a promotion you’re otherwise qualified for because you’re a mom is kind of, oh I don’t know, illegal!? And having a senior attorney promoting that kind of behavior is not only offensive, it’s just stupid. Can you talk to woman-hater’s boss about your concerns about this kind of thing?
EM
Look faintly bored and say, “Well, Mr. Senior Partner has 3 children and 4 grandchildren so perhaps he doesn’t see parenthood as a drawback.”
Marla
I’m going on my soapbox, and I apologize in advance. Here goes.
It’s easy to be condescending and assume that women without children are just jealous/questioning their own choices/mom “haters,” but it may not be that simple. Being a female attorney who is childfree by choice, I think I come at it differently. Experiences like having been screwed multiple times by people (men and women, but mostly women) who whip out the parent card when work has to be done at night and on the weekends, having a male client (GC of a corporation) ask me if I have children and say it was “sad” that the answer was no also give me a different perspective. In fact, can you imagine how degrading and humiliating it is to have an attorney who is a mother say to you in front of the managing partner of the firm “you can still change your mind, you know” about having children? (If I told women who complain about their children at work, “it isn’t too late to put them into foster care” it would be — rightly — viewed as disgusting and cruel. But somehow it’s ok to condescendingly tell women that if they suddenly wake up and realize their choice is clearly wrong, they can still repair it.) I’ve also been in the position of seeing the impact (financial and otherwise) on a small law firm of a woman who was out of the office for more than 1 year out of 3 due to 2 very complicated and difficult pregnancies that required bed rest and then (of course) maternity leaves and then returned to the firm for only a few months part-time before deciding to stay home. The way the women in the firm were treated after that, and the financial pressures on all of us as a result of her leaves and not working during that time was part of why I left. Last example: one of my friends is in a law firm where there is a mom’s group that meets for coffee once a week. They openly exclude non-moms and discuss marketing opportunities and other things that non-moms alike would be interested in. (i.e., not just breast pumps and parenting, etc.). It creates hard feelings and makes those who are childfree feel like they are looked down on by the moms.
Hopefully that background can help you understand that I’m not exactly neutral on these issues.
Anyway, not hearing those things said in person and not being in a position where I could possibly feel like the speaker may be questioning my abilities based on the fact I chose to procreate, it’s easy for me to say, but this is what I’d suggest:
I think you keep your mouth shut and if it comes up again say something like “isn’t it great that we live in a time when no one thinks less of women for their reproductive choices” or “I know — to have so much responsibility and to juggle it all with such grace — it’s amazing.” or “I’m always awed by women who can advance so quickly. Can you imagine how proud of us our great-grandmothers would be?” In other words, say something positive about the woman she’s denigrating but make it clear that women in the workplace — including the senior attorney — are all in it together. If the more condescending views of her mindset are right, it might help her feel less defensive (and thus alleviate the discomfort she is causing you) to just indicate that her choices are valid and so are the choices of women who do have children.
Off my soapbox now.
KLo
Hear hear!
Anonymous
Thanks for writing that. I hear you!
Emilie
Wow, I sure had a different reaction to Marla’s post than the two posters above me. I don’t even know where to begin. While I agree with “I think you keep your mouth shut” because this person is the OP’s superior, I sure would have a hard time responding with a cheery “we’re all in this together attitude” to someone who is so blatantly stereotyping working mothers.
Marla, I’m not really sure what I should take away from your post – am I supposed to now understand the reasons why someone might not want a mom like me to get ahead? Why she may feel justified in stereotyping me as someone who plays the “parent card”? FWIW, I work nights and weekends regularly (though remotely when the work allows – so someone who is checking up on “face time” may not notice) and I would hate to think that I would be stereotyped in that way just because I happen to have a kid.
As a side note, it drives me crazy as well when people complain about their kids – the childless aren’t alone in that one. Drove me crazy before I had a kid, drives me crazy now. Sometimes I think people have nothing else to say.
And re Marla’s friend who firm has a moms’ group – our firm has a women’s affinity group that focuses on women’s issues wrt marketing, networking etc. Parenting issues come up from time to time but definitely are not the focus. Your friend may want to consider starting an affinity group at her firm so that all women are included.
Nevadamtnbear
Wow, I’m really surprised here.
Any blatant remarks by anyone, superior, same level, subordinate, regarding a person’s choice to have children or not is out of line. Period.
I’ve experienced the type of comments the OP referenced. Blatant animosity. I’ve also experienced more veiled remarks that could be taken wrong or out of context. However, to make assumptions either way regarding the OP’s request for feedback can be wrong. Take the OP’s remarks for what they are.
I *proudly* wore the “Childless by Choice” badge for many years. I would gladly proclaim my decision to NOT have children. Then there came a time in my life where I changed my mind and now am a parent of two kids. I’ve walked both sides of this discussion.
To assume that a parent doesn’t put in the hours just because it’s female parent is offensive. When I’ve got the work to be done, I’ll bill as much or more than any non-parent counterpart, male or female. The difference, is that I will often times either work from home after I get my children to bed or go back to the office after the kids are in bed and household chores are done. My hours are often times not witnessed by anyone other than my spouse or the cleaning crew in the office.
My thoughts regarding the OP’s inquiries is to let the comments roll like water off a ducks back. Unless you’re in the “mom-hater’s” shoes, one can only speculate as to her motivation. Whatever work you do for her, do it exceptionally. I’ve also seen that these Sour Sally’s is that it’s the attitude that has been described that keeps them from advancing at the pace they believe they are entitled to. Regardless of whether someone is a parent or not, their attitude can be a major player in whether they will advance within a firm. Sounds to me like the Mom who’s making it has demonstrated her abilities, including her attitude, to the higher ups.
I’ve always tried to be a team player with an exceptional work product. Those two things are more likely to be viewed as what counts than whether I am a woman or whether I’m a parent.
Oh, and regarding maternity leave – just with any benefit, it can be abused. I don’t think it’s appropriate to relay one antidotal story as being the norm.
Vanessa
I had a baby 4 months ago, and have an interview next week. I’m still about 10 pounds away from my old suits fitting me right – any suggestions for a nice interview suit under $400? I plan on shopping this weekend. Thanks!
Anonymous
Do you have a friend who wears your current size that you could borrow a suit from? That’s about as far under $400 as you can get :)
KLo
I agree with Anon, and was also wondering if the 10 lbs could be compensated for with Spanx or the like …
Mel^2
Have you tried them on with Spanx/Flexees? If it’s only 10 pounds, that (and a slip for a skirt suit) may be all you need get the suit to fit right. Kohl’s had 30% off Flexees today, and perhaps there are sales elsewhere. JCPenney might have good deals as well- all brands were on sale last weekend.
Emily
Vanessa: having had three kids myself, I want to make you feel better when you try on the Spanx with your old suits and they still don’t fit. Regardless of weight, after you’ve had a kid, things just aren’t the same places that they used to be!
If I were you (and I have been), I’d check out overstock.com. There is a decent selection of suits there for around $100 usually.
Good luck!
Erin
I have good luck finding suits at Macy’s.
L
I would look at BR, I got a couple of suits there after I had my baby, was going for interviews, and 3m post nothing fit – I had to buy 2 sizes up still (the enormous boobs were definitely part of that!)
Amanda
At my local Banana Republic they were doing a “Buy 2, get 1” free for all sale items and there were several suits (pinstripe, black) available with skirts and pants.
I’ve also lost weight since buying some suits and the BR ones were very easy for the tailor to take in! So you don’t have to think of them as something disposable.
Vanessa
Thanks guys… the Spanx work for the bottom half but it’s really the boobs (which can’t be “spanked”) that are much bigger than before. Macy’s was having a super suit sale so I bought two separates for under $200… still have to get them tailored but it’ll do for now.
AIMS
I think a pantsuit sounds perfect. My other advice would be to maybe include some interesting jewelry — nothing big or crazy, or otherwise dramatic, but something that shows your personality. In the setting you describe, what would likely separate “bad”overdressed from “good” overdressed is whether you looked like a prototypical “stepford” lawyer (i.e., pearls everywhere, starched white/blue/pink shirt, etc.) vs. if you looked like you had a life/personality outside of the office.
I think this can be accomplished with 1-2 small, but interesting, pieces of jewelry, and maybe a nice but not-too-boring pair of shoes (tread carefully — ballet flats, not red patent leather platforms).
Good luck!
AIMS
It would help to know what is in your closet — but here goes:
— if you have any western gear at all, you can always put on jeans, buy cowboy hats & some guns and be gunslingers together.
— you could always be ghosts (if you have white sheets . . . if not get a ton of white gauze at a fabric store, if you can, and do that instead)
— or. . . you could go as each other. Wear something you each wear a lot and try to emulate the other as much as possible (this is easier if you are not too different, shape wise) . . . but at least you will def have all you need in your closets already!
— last idea: the halloween store i went to had David Letterman masks . . . get one for your husband and go as his production assistant (all you would need is a nametag ,and maybe cue cards/videocamera if you wanted to get elaborate).
LPC
One year my daughter went as Danger. She just wrapped caution tape all over herself…with clothes underneath.
dr
Many thanks for the postings last week on the J. Crew ‘chimera’ jacket in navy. It arrived tonight and is wonderful. Nice, midweight wool, wonderful princess seaming, and good construction. It should last for years. I am eager to wear it with navy/grey jersey dresses, and then solid greys, lighter blues, and purples. Thanks to all for supporting my find of a non-nun jacket in navy! My first J. Crew purchase and even my husband heartily approves.
jcb
thanks for the follow up! That’s good to know.
divaliscious11
Going to a party as a Weird Sister from the band in Harry Potter. Have a very cool MUGGLE tee shirt with jeans/boots and my son’s Gryffindor tie as headband…or either his Sorting Hat with the tie around my neck…
divaliscious11
And of course my son’s wand……
Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
What’s up with the little symbols to the right?
Mel^2
I was just wondering the same thing. It seems I’ve been assigned a pink blah face. Hmm.
C
Sorry, forgot I turned those on — what do you guys think of them? It’s one of the options for the site’s comments stream. I wasn’t sure if they would make for more “friendly faces” if the same user were assigned the same “gravatar,” or not. But it seems like folks aren’t getting a unique one, just one from a small fold. Hmmn. I’ll let them go for a few more hours and see what folks think of them…
Emilie
Yeah, not crazy about the pink blah face. I’m smiley, I swear. :-)
Mel^2
I do think it’s helpful to have a face or different symbol for each poster, but it’s too bad that about 1/3 of us seem to be getting stuck with pink blah face. It just makes we pink blah women a little harder to differentiate.
Hope
I’m not seeing any faces!
firecracker
Hey ya’ll,
fyi, Brooks Brothers is having a big sale until november 8th. 15% off everything, and an extra 10% if you us your BB charge.
i got one of their new fall suits for $220 yesterday. it’s gorgeous and not as traditional as some of theirs. so pumped.
and re: halloween – go as octomom! i got a black wig, some red lipstick to draw enormous lips, and a whole bunch of “children” cutouts on popsicle sticks. cheap, easy, and fun. i love playing up whatever story has recently been in the news.
happy halloween, all!
Anon
I love the little faces! :) Happy Halloween. Thanks for the scoop about the sales, I bought a bunch of items from Max Studio including the grey suit featured on Corporette awhile ago. Off to check BB now.
Jane
Regarding the female attorney who is making negative comments about female attorneys who are also mothers —
If I were the person who works for this woman, I would get out of being her subordinate FAST. Twenty years ago, when my two boys were one and five years old, I was passed over for a particularly fascinating promotion in my company. When I asked my boss why, he said he assumed that, as a mother, I wouldn’t want all the travel the new job entailed. I pointed out to him that the person who was offered the job had only one child, while I had two. And — oh yeah — he was a man.
It’s called discrimination, and it’s illegal.
In retrospect, that job would have given me all sorts of experience that now, 20 years later, I still haven’t been able to get. I should have been more forceful before the position was filled, and I should have screamed holy hell after my boss announced his discriminatory views.
Live and learn. All I can do is pass along my experience and my advice.
*
To the person that needs a new suit for cheap – Marshall’s has Calvin Klein and Jones New York suits for $69.99.
dr
thirty kids for trick-or-treating, from 2 years to about 15 or so. BEST COSTUME OF THE NIGHT:
Yellow dress, black shoes with short white socks, black umbrella…holding a cardboard canister from either bread crumbs or oatmeal. Not until I got close enough to hand out the yummies did I see what was on the yellow paper around the can.
guesses? The kiddo said I was the first to get it and it was 8:30p by then so it was a rare guess it seems.
I got it right away … Morton salt girl!
let’s remember that easy one for next year (for those of you who wear yellow…not this Italian gal).
divaliscious11
Very good and simple! That might work for my daughter who always likes costumes but only wants to wear them in the house…of course it was very chillylast night so we didn’t stay out very long……
cootlyMow
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