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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 210 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread |

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Something on your mind? Chat about it here. This nightgown from Amazon brand Selene would be exactly what I would have loved to sleep in when I wasn't dating anyone and just wanted something comfortable and machine washable, a little sexy but not overly sexy and boudoir-feeling. This one is great for just that. It comes in the pictured stripe as well as a light blue stripe and pink stripe. Sizes are S–XL. Selene Women's Knit Nightgown With Lace A couple of options in plus sizes (also at Amazon) are from Oscar de la Renta and Natori. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

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Comments

  1. Desks

    I am decorating an office from scratch and need to find a large desk, leaning to L shape but maybe just a large two pedestal ‘executive desk’ would work. This is something I am buying myself so no office furniture catalog to reference. What are some good resources for this? I found something I like on Wayfair but wondering where else I should look. TIA!

      • Desks

        Unfortunately I don’t quite have a RH budget. Looking to spend around $1K, a bit over for something amazing but hopefully closer to $600-800.

      • Jacquee

        I have a nice desk from Pottery Barn. I tried to get one in Macy’s but there’s were scratched. How about the Oscars tonite? I can hardly wait to see what they do with Harvey Weinstein! I wonder if they will hang a picture of his pecker in effigy? I surely hope so because no woman should feel pressured to accede to the demands of any man for romantic favors. And his must be so gross!

    • Anonymous

      ApartmentTherapy is searchable and can provide some good inspiration for terms and brands. I’d also recommend searching craigslist or setting alerts; you can get some amazing pieces that would otherwise be out of budget.

    • Anonymous

      Craigslist.

      Just type in something like Mahogany desk in the furniture listing. I’ve seen some amazing things.

      • Anonymous

        Yup, and desks and tables are perfect categories for this, unlike, say, couches.

      • Anon

        Darn it, not the OP but you reminded me of one of my favorite obsessions and I just saw a dining room set I totally covet….

    • Anon.

      Also, check furniture rental and resale companies like Cort. They often will resale really nice office furniture that has been used for a certain period of time, i.e. not pristine condition for execs but perfectly fine for a normal person’s office.

    • Anon

      Ikea actually has some nice pieces. I built an L shaped desk from two of their counters and a couple of bases and it’s awesome.

  2. recipes

    We loved the NYT chicken with shallots recipe someone shared here recently. It was fun to make, somewhat involved prep but not too difficult, pretty healthy, filling.

    Any other ideas for a similar type of recipe we could try this weekend? Ingredients could be totally different, mainly looking for the characteristics I mentioned above. No sugary ingredients/sauces is the only real necessity.

    • Anonymous

      NYT lamb meatballs with spiced tomato sauce or NYT oven baked chicken schawarma

    • Ellen

      Yay Open Thread’s! I love Open Thread’s and this great nightgown! But it looks like the model is wearing it out, with platform shoes and all, so what kind of a nightgown is this? FOOEY!

      As for the OP, I must try this recipe with Myrna. I tried Wedding Chicken with a guy, but he did NOT even think of marrying me, let alone even dateing me after that disaster! DOUBEL FOOEY!

      I took the morning off b/c it was to windy to walk to work, and now that I am here, it is to windy to walk home! TRIPEL FOOEY! I got NO steps b/c I took the 6 train down and will likely take it home, and I’ve onley billed 10 hours so far today.

      I hope the weather gets better tomorrow b/c I want to walk thru Central Park to make up for not doeing anything today. If Dad sees me and my tuchus like it is today, I will NEVER hear the end of it! Quadrouple FOOEY!

    • Batgirl

      NYT turkey meatballs. It’s still spaghetti and meatballs, but omg so good.

    • Anonymous

      I love the America’s Test Kitchen one pan wonders cookbook for stuff like this. They have a turkey meatballs with lemon rice recipe that is my current favorite.

      • Anonymous

        Thanks for the reco on the cookbook, I just bought it. We’ve been needing something like this.

      • Anon

        On this recipe – do you brown the chicken after flouring? Or it kind of browns itself? Do you ever turn it?

        • Horse Crazy

          Honestly, I didn’t flour it. I just browned it in a cast iron skillet and then put it in the oven in a glass 9″x13″ pyrex baking dish with the shallots and stuff. I never turned it because I had already browned it, and it turned out great.

    • AIMS

      Not sure this qualifies as healthy, but Ina Garten’s Roasted Veggie Lasagna or Portabella Lasagna fit the rest of your requirements.

    • Cornell Med

      Melissa Clark (NY Times food columnist) has excellent recipes and a really good cookbook called Dinner Changing the Game. Might want to check it out.

  3. paging poster who wanted Azores recs

    I posted some recs in the morning thread. The post initially went into mod, so I wanted to make sure you saw it.

    -Jo March

  4. edj3

    Help–mother/son dance songs that aren’t sappy or country?? My future daughter in law wants my input and frankly I’m clueless. Short and more upbeat are good, dreary country tear jerkers just aren’t me.

    • dance songs

      I used Sam Cooke’s “Nothing Can Change This Love” for my father-daughter dance. I think it would work for the other combo too :)

    • Anon

      Marvin Gaye Pride and Joy

      Made me tear up just typing that. My son is 15 and I sang it to him as a baby.

    • Anonymous

      Given the setting, I think that there is a high risk that any song is a tearjerker.

      This is at least upbeat: Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell – Ain’t No Mountain High Enough

      And no creepy lyrics (I say remembering the list that had “my heart belongs to daddy” as a father-daughter dance song. hellz no.)

    • Anonymous

      In My Life by The Beatles, maybe? What a Wonderful Word is nice and classic. I also think Sweet Child of Mine by Guns N’ Roses would be fun. Whatever you pick, have the DJ cut it to two minutes or less.

      • Of Counsel

        In the entire wide world I doubt you are the only one. Having said that, I suspect you are in the very, very substantial minority. I also suspect you are not a very happy person if your response to someone asking for suggestions for a dance with her son at his wedding is to categorize the dances as “creepy”.

        If you would not say it to someone’s face, there is simply no reason to say it anonymously on line.

      • edj3

        Well . . . I adore my future DIL, and she’s pretty traditional so if it makes her happy for me to dance with my son at their wedding, I’ll do so without hesitation or reservation. The wedding’s about them, not my preferences ;)

      • anon

        Some of them are, but it’s a nice tradition. I think the key is picking a good song and as OP mentioned, nothing overly sappy. I do get creeped out when it’s a song about lovers and the mom won’t let go…so awkward and obvious. I also like What a Wonderful World – my husband and his mom danced to that and I danced to I Love You Because by Jim Reeves with my dad as a tribute to him and my grandfather who loved Jim Reeves. I think songs that have meaning are particularly special.

        • Anonymous

          At our wedding we did the father-daughter and mother-son dance simultaneously, to What a Wonderful World.

      • Linda from HR

        I’m torn on them myself, but ultimately I’m not one to tell people which traditions to keep and which to ditch at their own weddings. As a non-traditional swing dancer (lead, mostly female dance partners), I don’t like the gendered aspect, but I don’t know how I would update things for my own wedding when the time comes.

      • Anonymous

        It gets weird because a lot of people pick out songs about love that come off as they’re trying to compete with the new spouse. yuck.

    • Miz Swizz

      Are there any songs that have meaning to you and your son? When I got married, I dance with my dad to a song that he used to sing to us when we were kids. I didn’t tell him the song beforehand and when it came on, his face lit up. It was a lovely moment and the song wasn’t a traditional/sappy one.

      • edj3

        I wish the original Winnie the Pooh movie had a good song for dancing–that was his absolute favorite movie in the world when he was a little guy, and we watched it 100s of times. I have such fond memories of him laughing and laughing.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      For anyone looking to do something a little different at their wedding, my mom surprised me with the nicest dance. After the father/daughter and mom/son dance, my mom had Martina McBride’s In My Daughter’s Eyes played and invited any other mother/daughters present to come join in as we danced. A lot of my friends’ mothers were at the wedding so it was really special. Plus my cousin got to dance with my Aunt and my Aunt with my Nana for part of it.

      • edj3

        I love this idea. My future DIL’s mother is a widow, and I feel so much for her and don’t want her to feel left out or overlooked in any way.

    • Anonattorney

      I really like True Colors! Pretty much any version, but obvs I love the Cyndi Lauper version. It’s probably too sappy, though.

    • Anonymous

      “Loves Me Like a Rock” by Paul Simon. I used to dance my son around to that song when he was a baby.

      • nutella

        Yes, we performed this for Mothers Day in school once. Good, upbeat song about motherly love.

    • Tfor22

      This thread is making me tear up! I doubt that is your goal, but “Forever Young” by Rod Stewart gets me every time.

    • Clementine

      Oh man, depends on the season.

      My husband is a stellar amateur mixologist and often makes fabulous and creative things. Some of my current favorites that are in rotation in our house are hot toddies (regular and maple which is hot water, whiskey, maple syrup, a bit of lemon juice, orange slices, a cinnamon stick and star anise), a manhattan made with rhubarb bitters, and a classic gin and tonic made with really good gin and lots of fresh lime.

      In the summer, I love white sangria, good homemade margaritas, and a good white wine spritzer.

    • Anonymous

      For summer: Bee’s Knees, which is gin (I use Hendricks), honey syrup, lemon juice, and lavender bitters
      For summer when I’m lazy: Coco Loco, which is just coconut water and some good rum over ice
      For winter: Manhattan, for which I use bourbon instead or rye, and preferably some interesting bitters like cardamon

      • Baconpancakes

        Our favorite Manhattan uses Bulleit rye, Cocchi Americano Rosso in place of vermouth, Xocolatl mole bitters, and homemade boozy cherries. Divine.

        • trefoil

          Goddamn, that sounds good.

          My usual Manhattan is Bulleit rye or Crown Royal, sweet vermouth and a teeny splash of triple sec plus fancy bitters — my husband has twice given me a sample pack of bitters and part of the fun of making a drink is deciding if it’ll be with Malagasy chocolate or Moondog or Clingstone Peach.

          They’re this kind, and the packaging is gorgeous:
          http://canada.bitteredsling.com/

    • Never too many shoes...

      A pitcher of Cosmos – 2 cups vodka, 1 cup Cointreau, reasonable splash of cranberry juice, couple of sliced limes and a handful of blueberries and raspberries.

    • Anon in NYC

      Year round – Sidecar – cognac, cointreau, lemon juice with a sugar rim on the glass but no sweetener in the drink.
      Aperol spritz in the summer

      Recently I’ve had a hankering to try a Boulevadier at home as it seems similar to a Negroni and I love those too.

      • trefoil

        Boulevardiers are great. They’re bitter, but also warming. I made one on impulse when i realised I had all of the ingredients and they’re now a cold weather staple.

    • AIMS

      Winter: an old fashioned
      Summer: gin and Tonic, sometimes with a splash of grapefruit juice or cucumber and mint muddled in.

      Cucumber and mint, muddled, with seltzer is also my go-to non-alcoholic drink.

    • NYNY

      What an excellent Friday topic!

      In winter I love making Manhattans with rye or bourbon. I’ve even made my own c0cktail cherries from summer farmers market sour cherries preserved in brandy & amaretto.

      In summer, it’s all about gin. Gin & tonics, always with extra lime, sometimes with a little Campari, are so good. And while DH isn’t a fan, I love a good negroni.

      Margaritas and sangria are year-round for Mexican food.

    • Anon

      Gin and tonics, sidecars (have a lemon tree), gin me: martinis, French martinis and elderflower liqueur spritzers.

      Husband: a rye manhattan, White Russian, Black Russian, mai tai (from juice, not mixer), Moscow mule

      Both: margaritas on the rocks on taco or burrito bowl night

      We always have little cans of pineapple juice on hand for the French martini and mai Tais.

      • Anon

        Oh, and I make a few liqueurs – plum liqueur, limoncello, and Earl grey tea infused gin.

    • cat socks

      My husband is a rum geek so he makes a lot of tiki drinks – Mai Tai, Zombie, Navy Grogg, Painkiller, daiquiri. If I’m mixing a drink for myself it’s usually something simple like a gin and tonic.

      Martinis, manhattans and margaritas are also in the mix. Get the Luxardo maraschino cherries – they are delicious.

      Now I’m thirsty.

    • Anonymous

      Mojitos and caipirinhas! More the former, less the latter as I’m not sure what I’m doing but if it has lime I’m in.

  6. Need gift ideas for my Mom's 60th

    She lives in Toronto. Likes plants/flowers, beauty things, cooking and hosting. It’s her 60th birthday so I want to do something special since I can’t be there myself. Not a big reader, or alcohol drinker and doesn’t like massages. I’m hoping to find something superficially for her and not necessarily the house.

    Any ideas for unique gifts, adventures etc would be greatly appreciated.

    • anon

      A “gift certificate” for a private chef to come and cook a dinner party for her and a few close friends some evening. Then she gets to host, enjoy something fancy, and have none of the work.

    • Never too many shoes...

      If she likes beauty things, what about a gift certificate to Bite Beauty Lab for bespoke lipstick making? You work with an expert to create two shades specifically tailored to your preferences and they keep the details for reordering at a later date. Their lipsticks are awesome.

      http://bitebeauty.com/lip-lab-toronto/

    • AIMS

      I got my mom a rose bush for mother’s day one year and she liked it so much she now asks for one every year (they’re not big, but grow well so she’s creating a garden). If you want to add to it, maybe also send Jo Malone Red Roses cologne.

    • Anonymous

      Does she like outdoor gardening or just enjoying plants and flowers? I am obsessed with Old House Gardens heirloom bulbs, and are a unique gift that will bloom every year. You can search by zone. Not sure if there would be issues with shipping to Canada?

    • anon

      https://torontobotanicalgarden.ca/

      If she’s a plant person, a membership would be right up her alley. Bonus, that Toronto Botanical Gardens has a *really* reasonable membership rate. Also, they have reciprocal privileges with many other gardens, if she travels. If you mom was my friend, I’d get her a membership, and put it in a card attached to a plant of whatever her favorite type is.

  7. Financially Ignorant

    Reading all the tax withholding stuff earlier made me realize my withholdings are all wrong. I’ve been at the same company for years but never changed anything after getting married or after having kids. So I now have 2 children and a self employed husband and my withholding is same as when I started as a single 27 year old even as my salary is a lot higher. As noted, DH has his own business so we always end up paying a lot of taxes at the end of the year and it occurred to me I am probably paying more than my share of that if my withholding is at a higher rate. Or maybe not. Either way, while it’s all our family money, I’d rather not prepay his business taxes, essentially. So what is my w-4 form supposed to look like if we are filing as a married couple? I asked HR at work and they were clueless.

    • Anon

      Well, you can have your withholding be whatever you want it to be. If you feel like you’re “paying” your husband’s taxes (which I don’t really get, but whatevs) you can make your withholding lower.

      • Ellen

        I told dad about this and he thinks the OP is less sophsisticated then I am. She needs to watch out THEY do NOT get hit with an UNDERWITHHOLDING pentaly, he said. I once did and the IRS was fit to be tied b/c I owed them money! FOOEY! I pay my taxes, but had some unexpected income one year, and did NOT withhold for it. That is why the IRS was mad. I wish they would just stop already with the taxes. That’s all Dad talks about — the $10,000 deduction, whatever that is. FOOEY!

    • Anon in NYC

      I think you need to hire an accountant. It sounds like you have complicated taxes. FWIW, my husband and I (1 kid) file jointly and withhold at the higher single rate, plus add additional withholdings, and still wind up owing every year.

    • potpie

      I think more information is needed here. Are the finances of your husband’s business separate? (Is it a legally separate entity?) If you’re paying a penalty on taxes owed it might be advantageous to increase your withholding so your family owes less at the end of the year. If you want to find out how much you would owe without his business just run turbotax with only your income.

      • Financially Ignorant

        His business is an S Corp, so, yes, separate. He does not pay taxes thruout the year, and doesn’t want to start now. This works for him and his book keeping to do it at the end but I feel like my paycheck is subsidizing his business this way. I realize at the end of the day, that’s not really the case but if we’re going to pay a large chunk at the end of the year anyway I’d rather have no more withholding than necesssary on my paycheck. Not sure that make sense?

        • Nerfmobile

          He’s actually supposed to be paying estimated taxes quarterly, so yeah he needs to change his approach. You should be able to figure out what portion of your taxes last year was due to his business: he should start paying 1/4 of that amount on the quarterly due dates. (If his income fluctuates a lot there are other approaches but this is simplest). That may change your withholding needs.

      • Alex

        I tried to complete my return on line, but it stopped working. I don’t know if I can retreive all of the information, but fear it is lost. Has anyone else lost their tax data? If so, how can you get it back? I would love to be able to show my fiancee I finished my own tax returns because he thinks I am a dummy.

  8. LAnon

    A big bouquet of flowers plus a gift certificate for a fun hands-on cooking class?

  9. Anonymous

    Has anyone bought clothes from Sezane? It’s literally my dream aesthetic, but haven’t pulled the trigger on anything yet. If you’ve bought, thoughts on sizing/quality? I’m 5’4 of average weight and not sure if these clothes only look good on tall skinny models.

    • anon

      yes, there was a discount code last year on cup of jo so i tried it. it’s classic/sexy french girl aesthetic, at a fairly high price. i thought the quality was fine
      not amazing… in terms of quality of the craftsmanship and materials i would put it on par w madewell, mm lafleur.

      i think i cam achieve the same look from local brands so wasnt that impressed.

  10. Belle Boyd

    I just ordered that nightgown. I am thrilled that it doesn’t appear to have any kind of bustline seams – finding nightgowns like this without seams under the bust is pretty much impossible. I’m hoping it lives up to expectations!

    • Lana Del Raygun

      I really like the way it looks … and I’m totally weirded out by the implication that someone wouldn’t want to wear this if she had a man in her life.

      • Never too many shoes...

        I was so wondering exactly what that was supposed to mean!

      • Aggie

        That took me by surprise as well – I have collection of cotton nightgowns that are my favorites. Belle Boyd, you may want to check DKNY, it usually has several seamless options.

      • Anon

        Yeah, that was bizarre. My clothing choices have nothing to do with my relationship status.

      • Batgirl

        Same! If anything, this would be a step up from my normal t-shirt and undies routine!

        • Blonde Lawyer

          Major step up from my flannel pj’s, fleece socks, t-shirt and sweatshirt. My husband is a hot sleeper so we keep the temperature down for him and I bundle up!

        • Anon

          Yeah, for 10 years I wore a tshirt that had belonged to DH (so oversized on me). It finally got too holey and he bought me a nightgown like this but shorter

        • Rainbow Hair

          The other morning my daughter was like, “is that your favorite color?” pulling on the stretched out, fadedAF tank top I sleep in most nights. … it’s not. It’s just the junky shirt I sleep in. And bum around in every morning. I bet my dude would be thrilled if I came to bed in a nightgown of any sort.

      • Nudibranch

        I thought that was a really weird comment. I also don’t want to be forced to speculate what she wears now she is partnered up. TMI. Gross.

      • Anonymama

        Yes! I’m sort of getting the vibe that she’s picturing what she’d have worn if she was single and fabulous/ one of the characters on Sex and the City, not what an actual person would have worn in that situation. Which, you do you, especially for your fantasy life, but for me and most women I know, this would be the cute nightie you wear when you want to make an effort beyond old shorts and tank top.

        • Anonymous

          Right. I looked at that and thought, huh, that’s really on the nicer end of anything I’ve ever worn to bed in my life, partner or no partner. I have to sleep in pants (I am a restless sleeper and hate getting tangled up in a nightgown) and so my go-to pajamas are cotton leggings and a t-shirt. It works for me, man.

        • Anon

          Eh, I adore nice sleepshirts, pajamas, and slinky slips… even when I am not dating anyone. Never been one for sweats and old t-shirts.

  11. San Diego Bound

    My husband and I are heading to San Diego for a week with our 15-month-old. Staying in the Ocean Beach neighbourhood. No plans yet except a visit to the zoo. Any recommendations for activities or places to eat with a toddler? Thanks!!

    • Anon

      The park the zoo is in has lots of other cool stuff. I seem to recall my kids liking an aircraft museum.

      Drive out to Coronado for a day to see the hotel Del and the nice beach.

      If your kid likes LEGO he or she may like legoland, or just the legoland hotel, where they have buckets of LEGO to play with.

      My fondest memory of San Diego is the fish burrito from Santana’s.

    • Lived in SD for 8 years

      Liberty Public Market in Point Loma! It’s in Liberty Station, directly adjacent to Ocean Beach. Lots of fun restaurants and shops, very family friendly, lots of parking, playgrounds and lots of open space behind Liberty Station to explore, too.

      • Lived in SD for 8 years

        Actually a few more- if you guys like outdoor things, you could go to Cabrillo National Monument- it’s the lighthouse and museum at the end of Point Loma. Really pretty trails, tide pools, etc. I also love Torrey Pines for hiking/beach time. There’s a lot of flat, paved but still pretty trails a little farther east in the Mission Trails Park area. I’ve heard the Birch Aquarium at Scripps in La Jolla is a hit with kids and parents, though I’ve never been. If you do end up going there, try to get brunch at Caroline’s Seaside Cafe-it’s right on the beac but still kind of a hidden gem, and so so good.

    • Metallica

      The rest of Balboa Park is kid-friendly and fun. The Prado is a good semi-fancy place to eat and I think they’d be ok with a toddler. Also try the beach at La Jolla Shores, the TOrrey Pines hike (it’s like a mile and paved; I did it with a 2 year old and a baby in a stroller.). Go to Seaport Village so baby can ride the carousel and eat ice cream :)

  12. nutritionist recommendations

    A bit of a shot in the dark but I know there are many DC area readers. Does anyone have a recommendation for a nutritionist who specializes in food sensitivities/low FODMAP/GI issues?

    • j

      I went to Dr. Louis Korman at Capital Digestive Care as my GI doc for FODMAP/sensitivities issues and it changed my life. He’s not a nutritionist obviously but I’m sure that his office could make a recommendation. Wishing you so much luck and success!

    • Anonymous

      I don’t, but I would recommend getting a registered dietitian. The website has a search tool by specialty that I’ve used with success, in another city.

    • NY CPA

      Not in DC so can’t recommend someone specific, but I did the FODMAP diet to help with severe IBS and just had a few thoughts/recommendations that hopefully you might find helpful.

      1) I went to see a dietician and she handed me a sheet with guidance printed out from the internet, so I didn’t really find her that helpful. I mostly figured it out on my own through research.

      2) The Monash University FODMAP app is the best because they’re the people who created the diet. Worth the $10 or however much it costs.

      3) For the 6 week elimination phase, I was scrupulous about total elimination. It’s really hard, but a few things I did to help were cooking all my own food, and doing a total clean-out of my fridge and cabinets before starting. I didn’t want to waste any pantry food, so I put everything I couldn’t eat in paper bags and stuck them above the fridge, so I could use them during the re-introduction phase but wouldn’t be tempted during the elimination phase (out of sight, out of mind!).

      4) Face book has some wonderful FODMAP groups. They’re probably the best source I found for recipes, and were a wonderful support / encouragement system.

      Best of luck! I hope it helps you to feel better.

    • NY CPA

      Long reply in m o d, so check back later. Hope my suggestions help and that you feel better soon!

  13. Toronto newbie

    I will be in Toronto this week, for the first time, for work. I will have two nights free. I’m staying near the Union Station train stop. Any recommendations for walkable restaurants, coffee shops, other places to see/things to do in the evenings/early mornings? Thanks!

    • trefoil

      If you’re there on Wednesday, the Art Gallery of Ontario is open late.

      Full disclosure: i’m from a small Canadian city, so mostly I go to Fluevog, Chipotle and the mall.

      • Anon

        hive five for Fluevog. I am from the bay area but bought my first pair of (many) Fluevog on a business trip to Toronto.

    • Never too many shoes...

      Evenings can be a bit dead in the downtown core, but you could visit the Art Gallery, Hockey Hall of Fame, the Aquarium (open to 11pm most nights) or the CN Tower which are all around you. If you want to browse some shops, the Eaton Centre is not far and you can rent ice skates at City Hall or walk to Chinatown.

      As for food, what do you like? Toronto really does have everything.

        • Anonymous

          Go to The Gabardine for mac and cheese – definitely the best in the city. It’d be good to combine that with skating at City Hall and a wander around the Eaton Centre seeing as they’re all proximate.

    • Anon

      Coffee-

      are you working in the financial district? lots of good places for coffee: Pilot, Sam James, Dineen (not my personal favourite though).

      restaurants- Canoe (expensive), Cactus Club, Drake 150…if you’re willing to cab somewhere I can tell you lots of better restaurants. the restaurants by bay street are good but are more work-crowd like. Toronto has more interesting stuff elsewhere.

  14. Construction Blues

    We are having a bathroom reno with a contractor we have used before and like. The last few days have had some issues. Our contract is that he gave us a shipping list and we supplied everything for him to install.

    1. The marble vanity top was delivered about a month ago. Like most of our stuff, it was delivered when the contractors were home. They put it in the house and never opened it. Yesterday when they brought it upstairs to install, the marble top was broken. They claim it must have been broken before it was delivered and I believe them. The manufacturer had a 5 day damage reporting window that’s long gone, and they won’t replace it. Is this one just on us because my husband and I should have made sure it wasn’t broken?

    2. They told us the size of shower base to buy. We bought it, with a matching shower door. Today they installed it, but the space is 1/2” too small – the tile they installed was thick enough that there’s not quite enough space for the door. So essentially the door, instead of sitting flush, overlaps on itself by 1/2”. It looks really stupid. They literally custom build a shower stall for this shower, I don’t know how they got it wrong. They say there’s no way to make it perfect at this point. How can I handle this?

    I’m pregnant, husband is so busy at work and can’t answer calls during the day so I am managing this and am just so overwhelmed.

    • Anon

      1. I would ask them one more time, and then I’d file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. It may be on you for not checking within five days, but they still delivered a broken product, and they should replace it.

      2. This is their fault and they need to redo it. They didn’t allow for the tile thickness. As you said, they custom built the stall and told you what to buy. They need to start over. It will be expensive (for them) and inconvenient (for them and for you), but it’s their mistake that they must– MUST– fix. Do not let them tell you otherwise.

      • Anonymous

        and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. I litigate cases like these where contractors turn around and say this is “extra work”, lien your house, and foreclose on that lien. It always comes down to conversations that were not documented.

    • Anon

      #2 is absolutely on them. I’m not sure what they mean when they say they can’t fix it but I imagine it translates to “we don’t want to pay to fix it”. When I had my kitchen redone the backsplash tile was installed very sloppily by a subcontractor and after the contractor saw it, he made them come back, cut out the drywall for the entire backsplash area, put in new drywall and retile so it seems like this would be possible to fix as well and I wouldn’t pay them or let them continue until they do.

      #1 it may depend on your contract and if it says anything about this but it seems like they should have checked if they were the ones handling the delivery.

    • Anon

      sigh reply in m o d. #2 is one them. They can and should fix it. I wouldn’t let them continue or pay them until they do.

    • Anon

      Can you ask parents for help with arguing? If I explain something like this to my Mom she gets so steamed up that I sometimes do ask her to call the offending business for me (in this case it would for the marbetop). She almost always gets money back or replacement. I think her indignancy that someone is trying to pull a fast one on her kid really helps – I am a terrible advocate for myself but do much better advocating for my family.

      Otherwise, honestly if you can afford it – just eat the replacement cost and try to forget about the shower looking stupid. There is much to be said for maintaining sanity, especially while pregnant.

    • Anonymous

      The glass door can be shaved down. I’m not sure by whom – we had to get ours custom made and it was off by a 1/4 inch and it had to go back and be fixed. Good luck. Construction sucks.

    • Anon

      They need to fix #2. #1 is on you, unless you suspect the contractor broke it, but it doesn’t sound like you do.

      They should fix #2 without you paying a dime.

  15. Rain Boots

    What kind of rain boots is everyone wearing these days? I bought tall Hunters years ago back when they were all the rage and now I’m not sure what to replace them with. Are we wearing short rain boots these days? I’m inclined to stick with a tall boot because I commute in NYC and those puddles can be deceptively deep, but would love to hear everyone’s thoughts.

    • shoulder season

      Still wearing my tall Hunters on the super rainy days… I live in Seattle where we take the rain pretty seriously. They are not fashionable but I like to wear them over leggings and a brightly colored rain jacket layered over a longer shirt and pretend it’s cute. On days when it’s not pouring buckets I just wear regular flat sneakers. I have found that wearing Hunters when it is not rainy makes it look like you slept over at your partner’s house and forgot to check the weather while packing… which hey, that happens sometimes.

    • AIMS

      I have rain booties that keep my feet dry enough but that I don’t find too comfortable, tbh. But I have this problem with most rubber boots. I mainly wanted them for warmer weather because when it rains in the morning but dries up by evening, I found it annoying to wear tall boots on both ends of my commute to work.
      The ones look sort of like this (shape wise): https://www.dsw.com/en/us/product/london-fog-picadilly-rain-boot/376790?activeColor=700

      In the winter, for snowy/cold days I have a pair of tall aquatalia patent boots.

  16. Baconpancakes

    Is it time for spring clothes already? I am very anti-early seasoning, but an outfit with black and white gingham popped up on my Instagram feed and I was unreasonably excited.

    So… what piece of clothing, shoes, or accessory are you going to buy for spring? What has you unreasonably excited?

    • Anonymous

      It’s March! Definitely not too early to start gently transitioning to Spring clothes in DC, but when I lived in Boston March was still firmly winter. I was inspired by yesterday’s post and I’m now on the hunt for some cute pink shoes for spring!

    • shoulder season

      Haha, I am unreasonably excited for new spring bike clothes! I am biking a lot more these days, and I haven’t updated my bike wardrobe in a few years. I also recently discovered a website that is dedicated to making cute bike clothes for women. I want ALL the cropped pants with removable chamois…that also/almost pass for work pants… and cute dresses that fit over bike shorts, oy vey. And velcro shoes that are cleat-compatible yet still look like regular sneakers. Haha. I’m a nerd.

      • Anonymous

        Me too! My game-changer was finding padded under-shorts that converted all of my shorts into bike shorts! (it’s 17 hill miles to work one way, so no note on work pants)

    • Anonymous

      I have way too many clothes so I probably shouldn’t buy. But very excited about my patterned and bright skirts, red pumps, sandals, and … ok I did buy something – a bunch of those double layer 3/4 sleeve tees from Boden which will go with my bright and patterned skirts.

    • Anon

      I bought some pretty shells at that amazing Talbot’s clearance sale around the first week of February (I think?) and I got to wear one of them on a business trip to florida but the rest are still hanging in my closet, looking pretty in spring colors (lavender, orchid, light teal and teal and white gingham).

      I don’t want to jump the gun but I’m excited to wear them.

    • Rainbow Hair

      I don’t really get a vote since I live in So Cal, but… I’m so excited to wear bare shoulders in the next month or two! Especially since it will mean I can show off my new tattoo (!!!) … sleeves and jackets are really cramping my style. OH and I’m excited to wear some cute sandals I bought last year!

    • Houda

      I bought: Yellow flat shoes -Lemon jeans – Green jodhpurs – White t-shirt – Green t-shirt and Lemon top
      I still want to but some dress sandals and maybe one of the Charleston sandals that were all the rage last year
      I can’t wait for the pretty days to come

  17. Structured Blouses

    Ladies, I have several of those structured blouses from the 80s with shoulder pads and lovely details like extra decorative buttons and drop waist that rests on hip or peplums. Can I wear these again? Or still outdated?

    • Anon

      I think the shoulder pads are going to be a problem. I think the problem with wearing old trends is that they just look old, sadly, unless you’re young enough not to have worn them the first time around.

    • Anon

      No, time to let them go! Blouses from the 80s just never look current even if there are elements of the style that come back in.

    • Out of the Box

      I think they would be fine, just don’t wear them with what you would have worn them back then, like pleated pants with skinny ankles and door knocker earrings. Pair them with current trousers and shoes, etc.

    • yes

      If you don’t want them, I’ll take them! I’m in my mid-20s, and a number of my friends have been bringing back their mothers’ tops like these (with the shoulder pads cut out) and they look great! Very jealous, as my mother gave hers away long ago…

    • AIMS

      I think this is one of those things that looks great on young models but if you wore it the first time, maybe not?

      • AIMS

        Also, if you really like the style, maybe upgrade to a current version? With stuff like this, there are often subtle differences in details that will make something more current. I think this is especially the case with 80s stuff.

  19. AppendixA

    Re-posting from this morning.

    I’ll be in Honolulu this summer for a week. Any recommendations on where to stay/which areas? No kids, just husband and I. We are open to either AirBnB or a hotel. $150/night or less would be great! TIA!

    • Of Counsel

      You might want to look at VRBO as well as AirBnB. I have found that the VRBO options for Hawaii are better.

  20. Anonymous

    There are so many F-ing ads on my screen right now I can barely see the comments. Ugh.

  21. Anxious mom to be...

    Oh it’s late but I’m going to ask for advice anyway — I just found out the doctor I wanted to be my obstetrician has a vacation scheduled for the week I am due. If he’s not there, there is a team of labor and delivery specialists on call 24/7 at the hospital of choice. Having him as my doctor and delivering at this hospital is significantly more convenient in every way (no other doctors at this hospital were recommended to me – I would otherwise go to the hospital a few towns over which would have a lot of traffic — thank you LA). Would you risk it? Anyone here have someone else deliver than their regular OB, and if so, how was that for you? TIA!

    • HSAL

      Even if he wasn’t on vacation, there’d be no guarantee he’d be the one to deliver. I had a random resident, supervising doctor, and med student deliver my daughter and it was a non-issue. The nurses are the more important part of your labor experience. The doctors basically show up to catch. Go to the convenient hospital.

      • Anon

        +1. The traffic will be a huge PITA when you’re at 36 weeks and have to go in every week. My daughter was 2 weeks late so I went to the hospital every week for 6 weeks until I was induced. I was so happy I switched away from the 30-minutes-in-traffic-to-get-there hospital at 20 weeks. My OB was’t the one to deliver. In my PEPS group of 12 couples, only one baby got delivered by OB who supervised pregnancy.

    • Anon

      I have given birth three times and exactly zero of my babies were “caught” by my primary OB. The first was by one of the partners in the immediate practice, so I knew her. The second by a doctor I’d never met in the larger on-call group. The third, by the resident on duty. The resident asked me if I wanted her to page the on-call doctor in my OB’s group and I said “nah.”

      Honestly, once you’re that far along, you just want that baby out, and you really don’t care. It’s more important to have a really good L&D nurse, and that is luck of the draw too.

    • Rainbow Hair

      I’d stick with the close hospital, just for your mental health around your due date. You don’t want to be constantly mentally monitoring traffic.

      My first choice doctor wasn’t there when I went into labor, or for the delivery. Her partner, who I’d seen once or twice, was there. It wasn’t ideal (I didn’t love that doctor’s tough love approach — like I’m *trying* to push this baby out, lady, you don’t have to yell at me!) but ultimately I don’t think it mattered. And some angel whose name I never knew ended up delivering the kid by emergency c, so it’s all a big ol’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyway.

      I was glad to see my favorite doctor throughout my pregnancy, though.

    • Anonymous

      My doctor was out of town the week of my due date (which was a surprise when I found out at 38 weeks). I had an induction scheduled for 41 weeks on the nose with my regular doc once she returned, but then I needed to be induced at 40 weeks for medical reasons and had the on-call doc, who did inductions differently than my doctor (cytotec instead of the Foley balloon). It really threw me for a loop at first but ultimately I went with his recommendations and the induction proceeded super smoothly. He didn’t have the best bedside manner but he was professional and got the baby out quickly and efficiently. My doctor had become almost like a friend and I’m sad she didn’t get to meet my sweet baby but having a different doctor do the delivery was totally fine from a medical perspective.

    • Of Counsel

      Chiming in, the doctor who was “supposed” to deliver my baby broke his hand the day before, so I ended up with some stranger he went to school with who was covering for him. Honestly it does not matter AT ALL. The labor and delivery nurses are the ones who get you through labor. Unless you have complications, the doctor shows up at the very end and catches the baby.

      Don’t stress about this! It will be fine.

    • AIMS

      So I went with a solo practice for this reason – I wanted to make sure inasmuch as possible that it would be ‘my’ doctor delivering – but your pregnancy is so much more than your delivery. If I was told that I had the choice between my doctor and the potential for someone else to deliver and some other doctor, I think I’d go with the former. Also:I was a week late with both my babies and most people I know were off, one way or another, from their due date so I wouldn’t place too much stock in the due date.

    • Anon.

      Echoing all the comments below. I adore my OB but delivered early and it wasn’t her there on delivery day. She came by the next day to visit. I would never make a different choice. To be honest, and maybe I’m in the minority here, I was so focused on the baby and my own physical issues at delivery that I barely noticed the doctor!

  22. Lost_in_Library

    I’m having a small shopping crisis, and could use some advice. I’m looking for a good work tote/messenger bag that’s not too ostentatious – really organized inside, will stand up on its own (if a tote) and close securely, hold a laptop, and with straps that will easily fit over my shoulder. I’ve looked through the round up posts on Corporette, as well as the usual suspects (Knomo, Matt and Nat, Dagne Dover, Lo and Sons), and I haven’t found anything suitable.

    Does anyone have any suggestions or new loves in this area? Please and thank you, in advance.

    • anon

      Henri Bendel has some great options that are suprisingly sophisticated and not twee. Also try Tumi, Samsonite, Coach, and Everlane.

    • MJ

      If you don’t mind nylon, the Victorinox Divine is awesome, and often on sale for 25% off at ebags.com

      It does look professional, the straps are comfy, it has a sleeve to go over a rollerboard and oodles of pockets and padded stuff. it even has a specially-lined pocket for eyeglasses. I have two and they’ve held up well to wear.

    • Doesn't Belong Here

      I had a similar crisis and I just bought the Lodis Kate Nylon Fabia Tote. Not sure if nylon is okay for you, but it has a leather bottom and straps. It sort of stands up on its own (depends on what’s in it), very lightweight, sophisticated but not ostentatious.

    • Elegant Giraffe

      What’s wrong with the Dagne Dover Legend? Just curious because that’s what I’m planning to buy with mostly the same wishlist as you.

      • Lost_in_Library

        There’s nothing “wrong with it” per se – but I’m not entirely convinced I’ll be able to get it over my shoulder one-handed (without using my other hand to thread my arm through it, if that makes sense?), and I’m a bit concerned that the unfoldable handles might stick out and get under my feet when its under the seat in front of me on a plane. I may be overthinking this :

    • Anonymous

      Timbuk2 messenger bag. So comfortable when carrying laptop + tons of paper.

      • Lost_in_Library

        That’s a really good idea – I had one in grad school that is still perfectly functional (they last forever), but has gotten really raggedy. It might be time to upgrade to a professional one…

  23. cookie

    Does anyone have a shoe rack in their office? I’m thinking one of those small two shelf kind. Or is that too strange?

    • Echo

      Not strange at all. My work shoes live at work under my desk, and I have two low shoe racks with two shelves each. Much better than a pile of shoes.

    • cookie

      That’s what I was hoping y’all would say. Sometimes I worry that I’m getting too close to living in my office with the mini fridge, snack drawer, extra blazers, shoes, etc etc… but oh well. Better to have them stacked neatly than sitting piled up in a bag.

  24. Lash lift or perm?

    Does anyone have experience with lash “lifts” or perms? My lashes are very straight and eyelash curlers don’t help much. Is the process risky? Hoping to combine a lash serum with a lift for more natural, long-lasting results. Thoughts or experience? TIA!

  25. Med Anon

    This is a little embarrassing, bu I don’t have anyone else to ask so here goes – does anyone on his board have experience with getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult, and how did it affect you at work? Specifically, if you worked on government contracts did you need your meds documented somehow?

    • Elegant Giraffe

      I know the search function is a little screwy, but I’ve seen several (long) threads about this topic on here in the past. If you don’t get any responses, come back Monday morning and repost or try searching.

    • Anon

      I don’t personally, but my husband was diagnosed with ADHD in college and now works for a national lab. No documentation of meds was necessary for employment. He and I have long been skeptical that it’s actually ADHD and not just depression manifesting itself with ADHD-like symptoms; I think there have been some articles in the news recently suggesting that ADHD is over/misdiagnosed in adults, but I haven’t looked into it too clearly.

      • Luc

        Interesting! My husband was diagnosed with ADHD – my son’s paediatrician recommended we seek a diagnosis for him, after my son’s diagnosis. Our doctors all said it was the other way around in Australia – men were treated for depression, but really needed a diagnosis of ADHD. Though perhaps it is different here, as health care is set up very differently.
        My hubby has never disclosed his diagnosis at work, though I think it may be clear to them already!

    • Anonymous

      Shouldn’t be embarrassing. Are you referring to drug testing when you say ‘meds documented somehow’? Otherwise you shouldn’t have to disclose your personal health information.

  26. Notinlaw

    I’m looking to refresh my cardigan collection. I have a lot of v-neck t-shirts and blouses and think that they look better with v-neck cardigans than crew neck.

    What are your recommendations for v-neck button cardigans? I’d prefer natural fibers over acrylic. A lot of my old stand-by brands don’t have them this year or the quality has really declined.

    TIA!

    • Anonymous

      Uniqlo has merino ones that are my go-to; for longer, boyfriend style ones, Banana Republic has some merino ones that I like (but they are seasonal items, you might need to wait for fall to get some).

      • Anonymous

        I also was very happy with what I got from BR this year. But agree that they were the merino ones from earlier in the season.

  27. Ellen

    I have a lot of cardigans, but you must be careful when you wear one that is vnecked. You leave your neck open to cold weather so I always wear a turtleneck under it. Also, it prevents Frank from saying to me why don’t I just wear the cardigan without a limiting blouse underneath! FOOEY on him b/c all he really want’s to see are my boobies and I will NEVER let him see them b/c he is MARRIED, and I like his wife.

    The manageing partner has told Frank to stop with the s-xueal things but I think it is in his DNA to tease me and get to thinking that he is a big man. We had men like him at GW, who we called BMOC (big man on campus). In reality, they were needle D*cks who were NOT capable of doeing anything s-xueal with anyone! DOUBEL FOOEY on these loosers!

    I am goieng out to the 2nd Avenue Deli today with Myrna. I hope they have good Corn Beef, b/c I am hungry for it today. I have NOT eaten a lot of meat lately b/c I am trying to lose weight! TRIPEL FOOEY!

  28. Cold Interviewer

    I am traveling to an interview next week, and the weather there is considerably colder than anything I normally experience (Southwest desert dweller). I’m not sure what the best option is for keeping warm. I don’t own an overcoat, or really any super warm coat, and I’m wary of spending the money necessary to buy one of quality that I may not need again (if I don’t get the job). I’m considering layering tights under my pants, and an extra layer under my blazer. And of course gloves and scarf. Any suggestions?

    • Anonymous

      I would skip tights under pants, but do them under a skirt. I don’t think there’s anywhere that still cold enough to warrant tights under pants.

      If you do another layer under the jacket, I would aim for doing it under the blouse (tank top/cami) vs. over the blouse and under the jacket (like a sweater). I mean, you could do jacket/sweater/tank top, but I wouldn’t do jacket/sweater/blouse/tank top, as it may look odd to the people you are interviewing with.

      I’d go for find a large warm scarf – wool or cashmere. you can wear it over the suit jacket or your warmest coat as another layer.

    • anon

      either way you need a topcoat of some sort. going around with just your interview jacket regardless of layers is asking for trouble imo. ca.mn you get a trench/blocktech/windoroof type jacket to help w the wi the elements?

    • Anonymous

      This is where Macklemore’s good friend The Thrift Shop comes in handy. You can probably find a very inexpensive but still good-looking and serviceable topcoat for $20 or less in one of your local thrift stores. (You can check consignment stores too, but will end up paying more.) I find nice coats in thrift stores because people move to my (warm, deserty) area and realize they don’t need a coat here, and donate their coats to charity. Wear the coat to the interview and if you end up donating it later, no big loss. I agree I would not spend a lot on a coat you may not ever wear again, but depending on how cold where you’re interviewing is – you may be miserable and look odd if you don’t wear an overcoat.

      • Assistant Professor

        Or ask a friend (who travels to colder climates to visit family/for work) to borrow their coat for a few days.

  29. Liz

    I’m going to be in the Tuscon area in a few weeks, southern Arizona. Any recommendations for places to eat, things to see, or even day trips?

  30. Jaydee

    Question about Longchamp Le Pliage totes. I am thinking about buying one of these because I need something for hauling files too and from the office. I tend to just cram them in my regular work tote but want to get away from that since I tend to overstuff my work totes and then they lose their shape or show wear too quickly.

    Is a small “shopping” tote (with the long handles) large enough to hold file folders without smooshing the edges and tabs, or should I go for the large? According to all the measurements I’ve seen the bottom of the small is 10” wide, the top is 15” wide, and it is 10” tall. So the bottom measurement suggests it would be too small, but the top suggests it would be fine. Would the medium short-handled one (type “M”) be a better choice? I would prefer the long handles but mostly am concerned with finding the right size to hold files.

    • Anonymous

      Do you really want the shapeless unstructured (not very professional to me….) Le Pliage, that read more upper class college co-ed (to me)?

      If you want to avoid smooshing edges, I would look for something with a touch of structure.

  31. Laggard

    I am seeking life advice from all the ladies here who might have had a late start to their (version of) successful life.

    The brief: I turn 31 this April and am only now considering grad school as an avenue to advance my career. At the moment, my preoccupation is on acing the GMATs and getting my applications right for Fall ’19 intake. So much a priority is this, that I have not even thought of dating or considered my single-hood in a while.
    The dilemma: Assuming I get into a two year grad school programme in the fall of 2019, I will graduate at 34. My fear is that it might then be late to start a family, with dating,settling and trying to conceive extending further the time before I can start a family.

    Are there ladies here who had a ‘reset’ at life later in their adulthood? I have no doubt that I am overthinking things, but that is the direction in which my mind wonders. What advice would the high achievers here give?

    • Anonymous

      If there’s no guy in your life, don’t put your life on hold for the theory of a family. Just live your life avoid taking on a substantial amount of student loan debt. If you need to “lean out” later, lean out later.

      That said, you haven’t focused on dating while you’ve been… working and researching b-schools? That’s fine – you do you – but consider whether or not you really want a committed relationship or marriage. If you don’t, high five, you do you, etc., but if you do… well, the right relationship makes tough and stressful times easier, not harder. My last two relationships started during times of extreme, over-the-top stress – not by design, but that’s because it was when I met them – and the relationships made my life better and made the horrific stress endurable.

      Don’t twist yourself in knots trying to find someone when you have a lot on your plate, but do consider that having a lot on your plate isn’t a reason to not go out on a date with your friend’s nerdy friend. (That is the story with my SO and my most recent ex.)

    • January

      Definitely repost this tomorrow in the morning. You may get more responses because more people will see it. (I wish I could advise you on your question, but alas, I am 34 and single myself. Just keep in mind that, if all goes well, you’re going to be 34 someday whether you do the grad program or not).

    • Anonymous

      Changed careers at 37 when I finished grad school and became a mom at 46. I highly recommend designing your life . And the book “Designing Your Life.” Have fun!

  32. Anon

    Isn’t it funny how guys you thought were too old for you at 25 cause they were almost in their mid 30s are now dating 29 year olds while you are pushing 40? #feelinmahage

    • shrugs

      Not really…. just wait until you’re pushing 45, and men in their 60’s and 70’s start hitting on you, and men in their 40’s are nowhere to be seen.

      When I bring my 75 year old disabled father to his doctor’s appointments, I regularly am assumed to be his wife.

      Life kinda stinks.

      • Anon

        Well, I see that the late 50-somethings are noticing me while calling themselves “dirty grandpa”. Not that they have anything good to say…

        Some people have thought my father was my boyfriend since I was 19…and I looked about 15…He’s 30 years older. We aren’t touchy/feel-y or anything like that, either. Smh…

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