Weekend Open Thread

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

I’ve long been a fan of Birkenstocks for weekend wear, and last year was the first time I realized they had a plastic version, which seemed like a nice upgrade from flipflops when I wanted something lightweight and waterproof to wear. I ordered this fun blue color and have been happy with them — but I see now that Nordstrom has a zillion other colors, including a great yellow, coral, and pink. It’s worth noting that the black version is ALL black, and the white is ALL white, which gives them both a kind of sleekness you don’t see when silver buckles/cork footbeds get involved. In any event: the sandals are $40, and highly rated at Nordstrom; they’re also available at Amazon and Zappos. Essentials – Gizeh Flip Flop

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  1. Can anyone recommend some outdoorsy blogs written by women? I’m looking for some good adventure/fitness ideas and I’ve found a few blogs that are perfect, but I’d love any other recs you might have. I’m especially interested in bloggers based in the West since that’s where I am.

    • CorporateInCarhartt :

      I don’t have any to recommend, but I’d be interested to hear about the ones you’ve found.

    • I follow Bearfoot Theory, as she is based in the West. I also have found her gear recommendations to be very good.

    • I don’t have any specific blogs, but you might putter around the Women Who Hike Group pages and see if that leads you to any

    • http://www.shewillroam.com/

      • Nederlandliving.com, though she is redoing the website so it’s been a little wonky in the past few days.

    • Walking with Wired. She is amazing. A solo hiker that does amazing long hikes. She is in Nepal now until July, and updates will be sporadic. She inspires me.

  2. Does anyone have a recommendation for an optometrist/ophthalmologist in NoVA/DC who has experience writing glasses prescriptions for severe astigmatism?

    I was told that because of my astigmatism, my vision can’t be corrected to 20/20 anymore and wanted to get a second opinion.

    • I have severe astigmatism and I’ll tell you the ugly truth. Your vision can’t be corrected to 20/20 anymore. I’m going the route of the newest fanciest Lasik because that is my only hope at 20/20 again.

    • My dad is an optometrist (luckily! Because I also have astigmatism). He said it depends on the individual but it’s not a given you can’t be corrected to 20/20.

  3. Anonymous :

    Recs for shapewear that is still as comfortable as possible? (ie, not Spanx) My wine & fries tummy needs to be reigned in when I wear sheath dresses. I often wear Jockey Skimmies under them but I need something with more sucking-in power.

    • I finally just abandoned sheath dresses because I hated feeling sucked in all day. Fit & flare or A-line for the win.

    • I’m not sure there is an alternative to Spanx if you want to be sucked in. You could try an old-fashioned slip – it won’t suck you in, but it would help the dress glide over those wine and fries (no judgment, I love them, too).

    • Maybe try the Assets by Spanx that they have at Target? That line seems slightly less powerful.

      And/or, size up. Like, 2 sizes up.

      • KateMiddletown :

        +1. And once you’ve owned them since… college, they will be great. Borderline comfortable.

    • Anonymous :

      It might sound weird, but instead of shapewear try the lace high rise undies from the gap. I don’t need a ton of flattening, but it hits at the right point to flatten me.

  4. Anonymous :

    One of the interns I supervised several years ago decided that Birkenstocks were an appropriate form of footwear to wear on a regular basis in our business formal office. That was not a fun conversation, and I will never voluntarily own a pair of Birkenstocks as a result.

    • Better than our interns a few years ago who decided that shoes were optional for trips to the printer (admittedly in a casual office, but still).

      • That’s basically my office every day. Even though I force myself to put my shoes on, honestly, I could head to the printer without pants and it wouldn’t raise an eyebrow. I don’t love my job, but I am grateful that nobody is minding my footwear (or presence of pants, LOL).

  5. Anonymous :

    In case anyone knows San Antonio – is the entire river walk area walkable? Considering a conference in Oct and turns out the rates at the conference hotels are pricey – as in the Hyatt, Omni etc that are 2-3 blocks away and still up against a different part of the river walk look nicer and cheaper. Is the area walkable or would I need to be driving if I stayed further down the river walk? In the northeast 2-3 blocks in a city is almost always walkable but I’ve never been to Tx.

    • Downtown San Antonio is walkable. You could map it out on Google to see exactly how long your walk would be.

    • Yes, it is and you should definitely go! October is a great time, too.

    • I went to a conference in SA in October a couple years ago. I agree that October is a great time. The conference was in my hotel (Westin), but we used the river walk every day for restaurants and sightseeing. Everything looks different from the river level than street level so I had to check the map to reorient myself, but it was overall easy.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      I was there last October and walked exclusively except the one time it rained really hard and I ubered.

  6. Any tips for keeping work from occupying all of your mental energy? My company is in the midst of a multi-year transformation and it’s been very stressful and draining. Even though the hours and workload have stayed stable, I’m exhausting so much mental energy that I don’t have anything left when I get home to pursue hobbies and other life goals.

    I’m contemplating taking a day off to try to jumpstart some things I keep putting off, but I would love other ideas and suggestions.

    • Anonymous :

      Ugh, I’m in a similar position. I don’t have much advice, but can commiserate with you – it is absolutely exhausting. I’m ready for the dust to settle, but I think we’re probably years away from that happening still. I try to focus on taking good care of myself (things like exercise, getting outside, sleep, meditation) but I’m still feeling worn down. I also like to remind myself that it could be worse. I’m lucky to have these problems, and it could be a lot worse – I could be one of the people outsourced or let go. That helps too.

      Sorry you’re going through this.

    • oy, been there :

      My best advice may sound tongue in cheek, but it’s not: just stop caring. Appreciate the good things that come from your job, recognize the inherent uncertainty in all aspects of life for every person, and spend time focusing on relationships and activities that bring joy. Notice what you can control about your life and career, and realize that it might be more than you think. If you find the current job situation untenable, start searching for something else. If it is not untenable, recognize that staying put is a conscious decision you made for good reasons and you can reevaluate whenever you want.

      • +1

      • Yep.

        There will always be more work to do when you leave for the day. You can decide not to worry about it when you’re not at the office.

        • Rainbow Hair :

          Depending on how your brain works, sometimes spending a little more energy can help with the not caring… like: “Oh man, and then I have to do this, and then that, and then and then…!” and then you interrupt yourself and say, “OK, but what if I just refused to think about it until Monday? Would anything be different? Hmm, no. OK then let’s get back to focusing on this fun activity!” Works for worrying, too: “What if ABC happens and I can’t XYZ? Well, is there anything that I can do to prepare? [if yes, add to list, if no, stop worrying.]”

      • Anonymous :


        When I’ve been in situations like this, I’ve fallen into approaching it like a sprint — go all in and do whatever it takes to get it done. Trouble is, it’s not a sprint. It’s a marathon. You have to adjust your mindset, and your pace, to make it to the finish line.

      • Stopping caring is so effective! I did that in a recent job and my performance increased. That might have been due to less bandwidth being lost to worrying, not sure, but it was great.

    • Glory bound :

      Oh boy, i’m In one of these too and it has really taken its toll. I had hoped things would settle down for me personally after the latest shift, but I landed under a new manager who is NOT helping things. I love the company but am about ready to peace out and look for a new job elsewhere.

  7. I just saw on Gilt city that there is a service now that will hand write and send your thank you notes (you give them a spreadsheet with gift and gift giver). This feels like the opposite of the point. Maybe we need to just give up on thank you notes at this point?

    • I think I am one of the last people in my age group who still go to an old school English press to pick different thank you notes and correspondance cards. I don’t think handwritten notes should die. In this age of electronic everything, it just shows so much more commitment to actually stick a stamp on that letter.

    • I have so many questions about this! If all they know is the giver’s name and the item, do they do like a Mad Libs fill-in-the-blank note and hope the recipient is fooled? I assume there won’t be anything truly personal, such as how you will use the item or when you will next see the person? What about friends and family who know what your real handwriting and signature look like? And if you are found out, do you just say “oh, I used one of those handwritten note services”?

      The only customers I can imagine for this would be super-rich people who throw such large parties that no intimacy is really expected.

    • Elegant Giraffe :

      Ooof this is horrifying. If you’re not going to write your own thank you notes, just don’t send them at all.

  8. Anonymous :

    Any recs for sources of inexpensive yet durable fake gold stud earrings? I tend to loose earrings so don’t want to spend a lot, but want gold color that lasts a decent amount of time. I’ve had great luck with Madewell in the past but they don’t have a style I want right now. Brass would be fine- I’m looking for a more brushed/matte finish too.

    • Anonymous :

      Banana Republic has good costume jewelry.

    • Gorjana has real gold (that’s all I can wear) but they’re not expensive IMO. You might also try Kohl’s.

      • some gorjana is real gold plated but not solid gold… you may well get irritated down the road..

    • anonymous :

      Look for “gold fill” jewelry rather than “gold plate” or “gold vermeil” — much less prone to tarnishing and not much more expensive.

    • If you’re just looking for studs, I have gold (plated?) studs from Amazon which were (IMO) very affordable and I like them a lot. Link to follow.

      • White gold (what I purchased): https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004NROZ7A/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

        or Yellow gold: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00TSASGQI/ref=s9_dcacsd_dcoop_bw_c_x_1_w

  9. Please excuse my ignorance as I have never worked in a billable hours environment, but I was wondering: for those of you that talk about billable hours goals, do you truly have that much work that can be billed to clients? It seems there would not be enough work for all the law firms that have these requirements. For example, if your firm has a 2000 a year billable goal, do you really have 2000 hours of work on clients?

    I hope I am explaining my question correctly!

    • Yes. Yes we do. Ohhhhh, yes we do. Plus there’s nonbillable work on top of it (like preparing pitches or seminars). Also known as one of the main reasons people leave.

    • Yes? You can’t bill an hour to a client unless you are actually doing a client’s work. Sometimes partners will cut hours, for example if a very junior associate spends 40 hours researching something that a more senior associate would have spent 10 hours researching, the junior will get to bill 40 hours for her work for purposes of meeting her 2000 hours, but the partner will not charge the client for all 40 hours. But in general, yes, large law firms have plenty of client work to go around.

      • Anonymous :

        Adding onto this – in some firms (at least at mine), the higher up you go, the less hours you bill and the less you are *expected* to bill. At my firm, our “good standing” billable requirement is 2000 for a typical associate, but a partner may only be at 1800 or less, because they are expected to do a lot more business development and management of cases/deals, etc.

        And, if you think about it, 2000 a year is 40 hours a week for 50 weeks of the year…. this is what most jobs are anyway.

        • Anonymous :

          Not really. Because when you think about it, ten days (ie two weeks) is about the number of holidays people get. So that leaves you with ZERO vacation. If you take any vacation at all and you don’t work on the major holidays, then you have to bill more than 40 hours a week.

          When I realized that, I realized why hitting 2000 hours was harder than it sounded when people say “40 hours per week for 50 weeks.” It made me feel better, actually.

          • Anonymous :

            Christmas Eve
            Thanksgiving Friday
            Memorial Day
            Labor Day
            Good Friday/Presidents Day
            New Years Day
            July 4th

            That’s nine. Is there anything I’m missing? Even if it’s just 9, that leaves you one day of vacation and no sick time if you work 40 hours per week.

          • Anonymous :

            Also, the 2000 target (which is what my last firm had) is only client billable. All the business development, COI meetings, article writing, MCLEs, mediating inter office disputes, reviewing and sending out bills, inter office lunches for “goodwill,” firm retreats, etc., are on top of the 2000.

            Which is why I moved to a corporation where I don’t bill time and get 35 days off a year and don’t have to make up the lost time (which you do if you have a billable hour requirement). Big law is madness.

        • Gosh, when I read these p’osts, it seems that I am working so much harder then any of my legal freinds in the HIVE. I have 2000 hours to do every 3 months (well just about), but we bill for everything (portal to portal). Perhaps that accounts for the difference, but still. FOOEY! I love my job, but I could be MARRIED if all I had to do was 2000 hours a year! I could actually have a LIFE! DOUBEL FOOEY b/c I spend all of my free time at work or at home working for my client’s. TRIPEL FOOEY! I am working right now and it is Saturday night! How sad is that? Grandma Leyeh says a girl like me should be out there having fun and meeting men. Instead I am sitting in front of my 40 inch flat screen TV watching movies while billing a client for a brief I am writing for them. FOOEY!

      • Adding to this, lawyers/law firms ideally try to minimize the time that their lawyers spend on non-billable work. You can’t bill for what is considered administrative work so you are supposed to give all of that to support staff. Even so, there are still plenty of hours that are filled with non-billable work for things like continuing education, firm business/internal meetings, business development and so on. So total time spent working can be much higher than 2000 hrs a year.

        • Anonymous :

          Yes. Approximately 80% of my time is billable, so for me to bill a 40 hour week, I am actually working 50 hours.

    • Yes? Occasionally I have 50-100 hours of pro bono work that counts as “billable” for purposes of my target, but I have no problem hitting the 2000 billable hours and am often over it.

    • Yes. 2000 hours is 9-9 hours of work per day during the work week, year round. Considering in the past week I’ve left work at 2am, midnight and 1am and have a deal closing on Sunday night, so I will work all weekend, you will see how more than 8 hours is easy to achieve over time on a consistent basis.

    • Yes. (And then some.) It doesn’t make sense any other way…
      That’s how the firm makes money. The client pays for an hour of service. There’s no other income stream to comprise our salaries and keep the lights on in the firm. It’s not like we’re getting grants that are allocated to projects or government funding, so the way we bring money in is by providing a service directly to a customer who will pay for it. Ideally every lawyer who has this requirement has client(s) who has that much work they want the lawyer to do.

      My clients appear to have 3,000 hours of work they want me to do. However, I live in a human body that cannot bill 3,000 hours.

    • Not always. I worked at a firm that didn’t have enough work to sustain their associates. This was in 2009-2010. I saw the writing on the wall and left. The firm didn’t last. It consolidated with another. I’m not at a firm that requires far fewer hours and cares more about revenue. Since we do some contingent fee work, we still pay the bills that way.

    • At many firms, including mine, the billable hour threshold is not a requirement but a target goal. Some people exceed their goals but many more do not, with varying consequences depending on the firm (most firms have an hours-based bonus, although some do not). For me personally, I have months where I’m billing 200 hours and others where I’m billing only 100. It all depends on whether I am working on a big deal or case that requires a bunch of late nights and weekend work.

    • Anonymous :

      Ime the work isn’t consistent, which is the bigger issue. I’m in litigation. I don’t think I’ve ever had a job where I have a steady 50 hours a week, though my current firm is better than most. Usually, it’s more like some months will be 300 hours and some I’ll have to scrounge to get 100.

  10. I am still in mod from this morning, but I was wondering about yesterday’s convo on liability insurance. Is this solely related to auto insurance or do you have personal liability insurance policies? I’m in NYC, and don’t have a car. What would I need liability insurance for?

    • Do you own or rent? Our umbrella liability policy is also an extension of our homeowner’s coverage. Not sure if you can attach one to a renter’s policy. Sometimes homeowner’s (and maybe the umbrella) covers some unexpected things, like defense of defamation suits.

      • You can attach absolutely buy an umbrella policy if you rent. The only issues I’ve had (both resolved) is that (1) you may need to up the policy limits on the renters policy to “meet” the umbrella policy and (2) depending on how big of an umbrella you need (e.g., how many millions) you may need to provide additional financial information. I’ve always had all coverage going through the same insurer, so I have no idea if the major insurance companies (Allstate, Farmers etc.) will let you buy an umbrella policy without having the rest of your policies.

    • Your friend comes over, slips on a wet spot on your bathroom floor, hits her head on the tub on the way down, ends up with a subdural hematoma a la Natasha Richardson, ends up in a persistent vegetative state requiring lifelong medical care. Your homeowners insurance may only cover a sliver of your eventual liability. Umbrella policies are cheap and don’t require as much fore-knowledge of what type of event would incur the liability (car stuff, house stuff, lawsuit stuff, random stuff).

    • I would consult an insurance agent but I think it’s probably still a good idea. What if someone seriously injures themselves in your home and sues you?

    • Anonymous :

      You a dog walking company that hires people but pays them with 1099s and doesn’t carry workers comp insurance. That person slips and falls in your apartment (doesn’t matter if you don’t own). That person sues you and the dog walking company.

      Or a friend comes over and slips and falls and sues you (or: her insurance sues you b/c they shouldn’t have to pay her medical bills b/c it is your fault she got hurt; doesn’t matter if she wouldn’t sue you, it may not be her call).

    • I’ll take these examples one step further…

      You are in isle 1 of the grocery store. You run into Mary. Mary says she saw a sign on your lawn that you used “Joe Smith Construction Company” for a recent remodel job and asks how it went. You tell Mary that they were filthy, late and overpriced. Well, Jane Smith, Joe Smith’s wife, is in isle 2 and overhear’s you. Fast forward one month you are being sued by Joe Smith Construction Company for defamation and they are claiming loss on income/wages.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      When someone hit my husband with their car (he was biking) and then sued *him* for the damage his bike caused to the car… we were delighted to find we had personal liability insurance through our renters insurance. So maybe you have it and don’t even know?

    • KateMiddletown :

      We looked into it when our proposed wedding venue didn’t have a liquor license and we wanted to DIY the bar. Our homeowner’s insurance guy said an umbrella policy or adding a liquor liability coverage would do it. Many homeowners policies cover more than you think, so talk to your insurance provider first – this is where a Human vs. Progressive online comes in handy. (We didn’t end up going this route in the end.)

  11. I spent all of last year in a role where I had nothing to do. Like…literally nothing. About a month ago I transferred to a new department and now I have no idea what I’m doing. My team seems pretty overworked and they chose someone junior to me (in age and title) to train me. He seems low-level annoyed by my very basic questions, which is totally fair. My boss has no idea what either of us do: he’s going back to his home country in a month so his answers to all my questions are “Don’t worry: you’re still learning.” I know I just need to chill but it’s Friday and I just want to go home.

    • anon a mouse :

      It’s time to think about what your next move is. What do you think you should know in your current job? What does your job description say? How can you learn it? If your boss is that unhelpful, seek out a mentor. But if he’s annoyed by basic questions, you also need to familiarize yourself with everything that your company provides to help you. Don’t go to him and say “help me do this process” — say, I’ve read this manual and done this training and I’m still not sure exactly how you want it, for example.

      But beyond that – fill your time learning new skills, or reading about developments in your industry. And thinking about how you’re going to pitch yourself for your next job.

  12. I know there have been several s!tes mentioned here for finding cheap deals on flights. Does anyone know if there’s something similar for hotels, especially luxury hotels? I live a couple hours from Chicago so I can go there pretty much whenever but hotel rooms there tend to be very costly. I’d love it if I could sign up for alerts on great hotel deals in the city.

  13. I’ve reached a point in my career where you’d think I’d be happily leaning in, but I’m so worn out. Exhausted. Part of that is the work environment, part of it is being so over the constant juggle of being a working mom, and part of it is that I’m not sure my heart is in it anymore. I’m 37, fwiw. I’ve been casually searching for jobs, and I know I’m in a bad place when nothing sounds remotely interesting to me or the effort it would take to even apply is too much to overcome. Can anyone relate?

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Is there a chance you’re depressed? “So over it” and “nothing sounds remotely interesting” and “the effort it would take is too much” are depressed sounding phrases. I’m not saying this from any place of authoritative knowledge, but just from my personal experience with depression — that inability to find a spark of interest and motivation.

      Do you talk to a therapist? Do you talk about this? At the very least a therapist could likely help you work out what you’d like your daily life to look like, what goals you’d like to work toward, etc.

      • I do realize I sound depressed, and it’s possible that I (still) am. I’m currently taking meds for that and probably need to see a therapist again. I saw a counselor last fall about job-related woes, and I’m sorry to say that it wasn’t all that helpful.

    • You are not alone. I feel the same way. The silver lining is that it’s made me realize that I’m not interested in looking for jobs in my current field — because when I look at jobs that aren’t in my field, they seem super interesting. (Now, how to pivot careers is another story altogether…)

  14. cool demin :

    What is the cool color of denim these days?

    For so long, it was really really dark indigo. Now, it seems that that dark is not cool.

    I have some formerly-black jeans that are now just blackish — this is most certainly not cool (jeans are fine otherwise). But we just went denim-casual at work and I may buy some new jeans now that I can wear them more often. My existing jeans are more weekend/very casual and the office seems to deserve better than that.

    For the summer, I think that a lighter denim would be OK and even a cropped length. But I do not want to wind up owning 10+ pairs (winter jeans, summer jeans, etc. etc.). I have tiny closets and try to buy the most versatile thing.

    Still, are these cool or not:
    skinny jeans
    skinny jeans cuffed to show sandals, etc.
    bootcut (I’ve only worn bootcut jeans with boots — what else works well with this style)
    not going to wear to work: anything ripped
    also not going to wear to work: anything sold as “mom jeans”; I am a petite pear, so no, just NO

    • Honestly, I still wear skinny dark jeans and probably will until the end of time. I also have skinny black jeans. I have a couple of pairs from the Gap and from Old Navy. I have one pair of straight leg jeans also in a darker rinse. They are comfortable and work well with my body type. I’m just not a trendy person.

      Flared styles seem to be coming back, but I don’t really wear heels anymore and I think they look best with a bit of a higher shoe.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Oh wait, worn in black jeans are definitely cool! Wear with booties and a band tee!

    • Anonymous :

      I wear dark ankle-length skinny jeans. Sometimes cuffed sometimes not. Also lighter-wash for summer (also ankle-length, skinny), and one pair of white jeans. I know wide legs/flares are coming back in, but I look good in skinny jeans and they work with my overall aesthetic (skinny pants + tunic or loose button down), so I’m keeping them for now!

    • Light grey jeans seem to be in. I still think dark wash skinny jeans are in too.

    • Anonymous :

      I wear bootcuts with wedge sandals or any sandal really as long as it has at least a little wedge or heel. Also a pump. I’m the opposite of Anon 4:02 in that my aesthetic is bootcuts and more fitted tops.

    • Anonymous :

      Light gray and faded black.

  15. Not really looking but... :

    Eager for others’ takes on this situation: I always keep my eye open for interesting job postings. Last week, a competitor posted for a position that seemed like exactly what I do. I threw my hat in the ring and quickly received an invitation for a phone interview. At about that time, the company posted the same position but part-time. The phone interview went well with the VP of HR. When I asked about the role (part v full time), they said they were trying to cast a wide net. In describing the role, from my experience, they need at least 1.5 people, if not 2 full time. There would be multiple roles (litigation management, multiple direct reports and clients, etc.). I could not get a straight answer about their current legal team, but I think I would be the only one. This role would also report to a non-lawyer.

    The VP said they’d like to interview me in person for a few hours at an offsite location (to protect my confidentiality). Last night, the VP emailed to say they want to interview me from 10-2 on Tuesday. I wrote back that I have a conflict at 1 but could do the morning (ie 8-12), and that I am out of town We’d-Fri. I rapidly received two responses that they need to interview me while a big wig is in town who leaves Wednesday, and that they would appreciate me doing what I needed to to make this happen.

    I do not need to leave my current gig. I’m getting a strange vibe from this place.

    • We’ve hired a few people onto my team since I’ve been at my company, and even when we needed someone quickly we never expected someone to change travel plans for us. If some big wig can’t be in the room, isn’t that why we have video conferencing technology?

      • BeenThatGuy :

        Every big wig at my corporate job would expect, actually demand, to see you in person. They feel their time is more valuable than yours and if you want to work here, you do what they want.

        If the big wigs at this interview won’t accommodate you, RUN. You do not want to be stuck in a company with this type of culture. Ask me how I know…

    • This is a weird vibe. I would write back and say that you are available for a teleconference on Wednesday (if that’s possible). Also, the offsite location thing is just weird. Like they don’t have a conference room to put you in at their site? Do they seem disorganized and want you to be the guinea pig for this role? Are they creating a position, or are you filling a position for someone that’s departing? If that person in departing, why? Do you get a sense they even understand the scope of the role, or are they using you for market intelligence and ideas? Have you talked salary (even a range yet) to understand if they are going to pay you more? Is there anything inherently more appealing about them than where you are? Why would a lawyer report to a non-lawyer? Why can’t they tell you the size of their current team? Are they being evasive, or did the person you speak with (in HR) genuinely not know? Only your gut or replaying your current interactions can tell you this.

      I am sure someone there thinks that this is dead urgent, but honestly…you sound like the right candidate, so it’s not, and you’re not even looking! I would not be difficult, but I would not bend over backward to accommodate their somewhat unreasonable schedule either.

    • It is clearthey have no idea on the workload and the number of people it would take to manage the work in decent hours. If your estimate was 1.5-2 headcounts and theirs was that one part-timer could manage… run.
      If they are trying to push you into interview which clearly does not fit you, run. They lack the ability to manage their boss/big wig, who should spend his/her time more effectively than interviewing L-2 or L-3. This is why he has managers and HR.

  16. Yes. (And then some.) It doesn’t make sense any other way…
    That’s how the firm makes money. The client pays for an hour of service. There’s no other income stream to comprise our salaries and keep the lights on in the firm. It’s not like we’re getting grants that are allocated to projects or government funding, so the way we bring money in is by providing a service directly to a customer who will pay for it. Ideally every lawyer who has this requirement has client(s) who has that much work they want the lawyer to do.

    My clients appear to have 3,000 hours of work they want me to do. However, I live in a human body that cannot bill 3,000 hours.

  17. Horse Crazy :

    I need new wine glasses. I drink nice wine, and I’m tired of buying $3 glasses from Cost Plus that break when you sneeze near them. Any recommendations? I’d like to stay around $10-$15 per glass. I drink mostly red, but definitely mix in some whites during the summer. I don’t have a dishwasher so I don’t care about dishwasher safe or not – I just want some good quality, strong wine glasses.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I have this set of Riedels from Amazon and I love them. $10 a stem for red, white, and champagne flutes. If you don’t want the mixed set they sell different sizes separately, too. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004RQRFRO/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

    • Do you want varietal specific glasses or universal? Wine Enthusiast might have some sets as would Sur la Table and WS (also check homegoods and the like). If you want crystal, our Marquis by Waterford looks great and has held up well. The stems are pretty tall though.
      I’ve also inherited a few sets of glasses over the years. I like the vintage vibe and also appreciate that these glass aren’t made to hold 18 ozs and are a reasonable size. Maybe check out some antique stores?

      • Horse Crazy :

        Ooooh I’ve never thought of antique stores…such a great idea (and more fun than looking online!). Thank you!

        • Never too many shoes... :

          Garage sales in nice neighbourhoods often have tons of real crystal (which is pretty sturdy) pieces for almost free. I bought a set of four Waterfords once for $20.

    • Aunt Jamesina :

      I have Riedel and Luigi Bormioli glasses and I love both.

    • Anonymous :

      I have a set of mixed glasses from Schott Zwiesel made of Tritan crystal, which is a more durable, reinforced crystal. If your goal is to avoid breakage, I prefer to use the universal stemless glasses (same maker/material) unless there is company, or the bottle is especially nice, because I am far less likely to break stemless glass. I save the nicest things for sharing.

  18. Anon for this :

    I am wondering if Corporettes can help me with something I’m working on. I’m a regular poster, going Anon for this – so I promise this is not an Ellen/Allen talking.

    I have been working on my posture and walking with my shoulders down and chin up (instead of staring at the floor as I walk), but I am actually finding it hard to adjust to the new view of the world. Here’s why (1) I feel like my sense of space is off – I walked with my head down for so many years that when I walk with my head up, I just feel so.much.taller. And it feels off. I assume this will change over time, but even though I’m still walking, it feels like I’m moving through space differently, if that makes sense? (2) I’m tall, and when I look up with proper posture, I’m on eye level with many men. I find this disconcerting, because I wasn’t meeting peoples’ eyes as I passed them before – my instinct is to acknowledge everyone I see, but at the same time, I just.. see more people now? And I’m not quite comfortable with that (in case you had not guessed, I can be an introvert).

    I am trying to change an old, and bad, habit that came from feeling not quite good enough, and move through the world with more awareness and confidence, but I don’t know how to stride confidently. Did anyone else experience this when correcting their posture and walk? Does anyone have advice on how/when to acknowledge people? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen comedy skits about this, so I’m not alone, but I just, well, I could use some help with this.

    • Meh, don’t overthink this. I’m tall, have been walking with my head up and striding through workplace hallways for DECADES, and I still don’t know how to navigate those awkward hallway encounters. After I’ve greeted said coworker once in the morning, I don’t want to keep greeting every time I pass in the hall. We usually end up with some kind of semi-awkward glance / head nod.

      Bottom line: Don’t think everyone else is entirely comfortable. WE’re all still doing our best. You’re doing fine.

    • “Mastering Civility” covers this! She suggests a 10/5 rule. Withing 10 feet, smile. Withing 5 feet, say “hello”. I remember great advice from years ago here about saying “hello” versus “hi” or “good morning” verses something more casual so you’re friendly, but not over-friendly if that’s a concern.

  19. Does anyone have any book recommendations that could help a person in her 30s who has a liberal arts degree and is having trouble coming up with a career path to pursue? I think a life coach might be in order here, but seem to recall seeing some book recommendations in the past. Thanks in advance if anyone has any suggestions.

    • The Pathfinder

      • Agree with both of the above. But I have to say, I think some of this is just what you find interesting and fulfilling and what you are willing to devote time to master. Consider things you like to do and read about in your own time and what tasks you enjoy the most and see if you can have coffee meetings with people in fields you find interesting.

    • what color is your parachute

    • Anonymous :

      Hi, friend. Just know that you are not the only one struggling to figure it out. Best wishes to you.

    • Playing Big by Tara Mohr

    • Designing Your Life by Evans and Burnett

  20. Been with my boyfriend for 5 years and he’s the only person I’ve ever dated. I’m in my early/mid-twenties. but in recent months/years I’m starting to think I (also?) like girls. Grew up in a super conservative family and didn’t even know than lesbians existed until I basically went to college but recently all my little crushes, etc. are starting to crystallise and make sense. I’m not sure what to do. I definitely love my boyfriend but does this mean I’ll never get a chance to find out?

    • an anon who knows :

      Are you thinking about these “crushes” in a s3xually way? In a romantic way? In a “it’d be fun to try something new and this sounds like a safe thing to try because why not” kind of way?

      Also, are you thinking this boyfriend is a great person to grow with for now or are you two planning a life together for forever? Is your boyfriend someone you are s3xually and romantically attracted to?

      Is having an experience with one of your crushes worth risking your relationship?

      No one can answer these questions but you; it sounds like something to think through and maybe journal about so that you make decisions that are most true to you and your goals! <3

      • Anonymous :

        Along these lines: Are you interested in women as a fantasy? As a sexual experience? Or as a relationship?
        This is an important distinction and worth deep contemplation. People don’t stop being attracted to other people when they commit to one, no matter their sexual orientation, and those who truly commit “forsake all others.” But I really don’t know how you could even differentiate if you’ve only ever dated one person. I am enamored with the idea of only ever dating one person, and I know that it has worked out for some (e.g., George HW and Barbara), but I think it is fraught with peril in practicality; even more so in this era, and then more again in your circumstances.

    • Anonymous :

      I’ll just say a very general thing: don’t marry the only person you’ve ever dated. You will always wonder “what if”. Regardless of sexual orientation.

      • Anonymous :

        I know some people who feel this way, but I have never felt this way even once after 10+ years married to the only person I ever dated. (And I’ve had crushes on people of various sexes.) It’s just so hard to generalize about things like this.

        • Anonymous :

          That’s fine. But your case is the exception. While absolutely possible, it is extremely unlikely that you get lucky the first time in anything. This is just basic probability. And relationships are much complicated by the fact that people are not static variables and change throughout their lives. Some people put a lot of effort to change to accommodate their partners, but high achievers (who generally inhabit this board) are less likely to make such compromises. In summary, when odds, let’s say generously, are 20:1 that any given person you date is long-term compatible with you and increase to maybe 10:1 if you put a lot of additional effort into minimizing mismatches, your chances of ending up in a good relationship the first time around is at best 10:1. Thus you got lucky with your first boyfriend and other 9 people did not. The OP will have to judge for herself but she needs to understand these odds.

          • “While absolutely possible, it is extremely unlikely that you get lucky the first time in anything. This is just basic probability.”

            That’s not correct.

            If you have a 5% chance of being compatible with someone, it means you have a 5% chance of being compatible with each person you date, not that if you date 19 people it’s more likely that the 20th will be compatible with you. People you date are independent of each other. Same way that flipping a coin and getting tails 5 times in a row doesn’t make it more likely you will get heads the next time. The odds are still 50%.

        • LittleBigLaw :

          +1 Commitment and compatibility aren’t necessarily learned from having multiple partners. My husband and I started dating in high school and have been (happily) married for over 10 years, as well. I know our experience is certainly not the norm (although more common than you might think), but healthy, mature relationships don’t always have to follow ones that didn’t work. As with everything else, blanket statements on love and relationships make for poor advice.

  21. New job advice? :

    Any tips for a soon-to-be college grad starting a new job? It’s a promotion + full-time version of a part-time job I already have, so I have a good handle on my manager and the general work environment, as well as our goals for the first month and first six months after I start. I’m really looking for things that someone who hasn’t worked in any office environment but this one before might not think of or general tips on how to succeed at the Real World! thanks so much.

    • Remember that your relationships with co-workers will be hugely important for networking, so take time to wow them as well as your manager and never give a commentary on one to another.

  22. Montana Vacation :

    We are trying to plan a trip to Glacier National Park in July. It would have been ideal to stay in the park, but all of the hotels are booked. Is Whitefish the best place to stay in order to be near the park? We are looking at AirBnbs.

    • This is late, but I stayed in Kalispell (AirBnb). There isn’t much in Kalispell, but it’s a bit closer to the park than Whitefish. If you want to have a place to wander and shop and such, then definitely stay in Whitefish vs. Kalispell. Also, note that it will take you a while to get to the other side of the park so plan accordingly! I spent a few days on that side, then a few days on the other side.

  23. Hoping someone can help me, is it ever appropriate to not wear a full on suit to an attorney interview? I have an interview for a lateral position this week, and for several reasons, it will be very bad for my current firm to be clued in. Also, it would be very suspicious if I wear a suit and disappear in the middle of the day. I think I could wear my an MM. Lafleur dress + Jardigan combo without raising eyebrows at my firm, but would that raise eyebrows at the firm I’m interviewing at?

    • Yes. You will need to swap your jardigan for a blazer before the interview.

      • I don’t get why you can’t leave the suit jacket off at your office and then put it on before the interview.
        Leave the jacket in your car. If that’s not an option, bring a larger tote to put the jacket in, roll in a dry cleaning bag, and spray it with some wrinkle release spray (if needed) on the way to the interview.

    • Anonymous :

      You need to wear a suit; a real suit not separates. Everyone goes through this as a lateral and it works out. Just don’t wear the jacket to work; slip it in your bag and put it on before the interview.

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