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Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
edj3
Question about Rothys the Point in merino–how do they fit? Website says to order your normal size instead of a half size up for the plastic ones. I have kind of long toes so I want to leave room for them but not walk out of them (also have a narrow foot).
anon a mouse
I ordered my regular Point size (that is, a half-size up from my normal size). They seem to fit just like my other Points.
Referral code for $20 off for anyone interested:
https://share.rothys.com/x/wipg7S
edj3
Thank you for the code! I ordered a half size up, and I’m hoping they’re as amazing as they seem.
SALit-a-gator
Agree with Anon a Mouse – I got the point merino in my regular size like they said, and it was too snug compared to my other points which I get in 1/2 size up. Going to re-order in 1/2 size up.
Anon
Um, this top with velvet pants and a circle cardigan would NOT be something I’d wear anywhere, let alone a holiday party.
Angela
Right? Not everything green or red is “holiday”.
anon
I was already skeptical about the jersey sleeveless top as winter party attire, and then paired with a barefoot dreams cardigan? Loungewear.
Anonymous
It’s kind of mom-chic for a family holiday party. With kids. And daylight.
Anon
This top looks very “Anthropologie-from-10-years-ago” to me. It’s okay, but not current (or timeless, which is preferred TBH.)
Holiday Gift Q
Law firm etiquette question: do you give a gift to your firm’s receptionist? I give cash to my assistant (the three attorneys she supports pool money and gift it as one gift). Our receptionist is incredibly helpful (at least to me), but I’m not sure whether anyone gives her a gift. I was thinking $50 (I give $100 to my assistant for reference) in a card with a short note expressing my appreciation. 40-lawyer office on the east coast. Is this something that is even done?
Anon
I used to give exactly that amount to the receptionist when I worked in a law firm. Partially because I believe in buying favors, and partially because I just wanted to make sure that at least someone noticed and appreciated her work, when the assistants and paralegals were all getting holiday gifts.
Anon
I’m sure she’d be thrilled.
Anonymous
The firm ideally gives everyone a bonus relating to experience, position and length at the company.
As an individual I think it makes sense to do more if you aren’t a partner (and didn’t contribute to their bonus).
anon
Yes. I think what you proposed sounds perfect.
Ellen
I give $300 to the manageing partner’s secretary, who acts like a receptionist and occasionally helps me file things with the court. She uses the money on clotheing and food, and she has put on more then a few holiday pounds since she was haveing s-x with Mason on the conference room table. Since he moved to Boston, I am not sure she has had any more s-x with anyone, though the floor janitor keeps smacking his lips at her whenever he sees her going to the toilet.
Strawberry
Any recommendations for therapists in the DC area? More general unhappiness, and probably a little undiagnosed anxiety & depression. Ideally looking for someone that understands the dynamics of a high powered career.
Anon
Are you a lawyer? The DC Bar’s LAP is awesome.
Anon 2.0
Tips for attending a SO’s work party? This is my first year attending his “fancy” work function as I was sick the previous year. I’m not the best at small talk so a few pointers would be much appreciated.
Anon
Be polite and interested in others and let them talk about themselves. It’s my go to when I don’t have much more info about someone. But honestly, just don’t do anything to be memorable in a bad way and you’ll be great!
Anonymous
Prepare a few generic questions that you can ask, and don’t be offended if people sort of drop you quickly when they find out you are a spouse, they will be business networking.
Amazon HQ2 -- NoVa question
I used to live in DC and still have a little 1950s house there. I expect to move back, but the job that moved me away is keeping me away for now. I am used to getting postcards asking if I want to sell (house is a typical older raised ranch and would be a tear-down now, but is adequate for me).
Today alone I got a call at my work # (at where my job moved me to, which changed when I moved) and a call/text on my cell (which isn’t even under my name and I have no idea how they got it). This is — a bit much and feels terribly invasive. Are things there crazy? Or is this a nutter on the other end of the phone? It seemed so unprofessional if they really did want to buy a house that way, didn’t they know they’d spook or alienate the potential seller?
Anon
No the real estate market isn’t THAT crazy. I mean it’s busy as it always and it’s now become normal in many areas for people to ask others to sell. But it’s not that Amazon is bringing sooo many people into Va — they added 400 people in 2019 with a plan for 1100-1200 in 2020 and some of these people are already in Va as they had a small office already. So likely you’re just dealing with someone unprofessional/pushy. Ignore them if you don’t want to sell.
DCR
I agree that this is just a pushy person. The market isn’t that hot
Anon
I think you’re expecting too much privacy. People can look up who owns the house and they can find your phone numbers with not really that much work. If you don’t want to sell just tell them that and tell them not to contact you again.
Frustrated
My husband was doing a kind of continuing education (paid for by his company) that would give him a lot more job opportunities in our rural area. I just found out that he quit the program a month ago. He wasn’t very excited about the program / related opportunities, but he very much wants to stay in this area and there is a very limited job market. While I understand his desire to stay in the area and his unhappiness with the program, I am furious that he lied by omission and I am extremely resentful that I get no say in decisions that affect my life. I would never choose to live in this area, but I did because he got this great opportunity. I don’t know what I’m looking for here, but I don’t want to tell anyone in my family as they already think he is lacking in ambition and this will just add fuel to the fire.
Go for it
Come to Jesus talk. I’d be livid too.
Frustrated
We kind of did yesterday, I poured out all of my frustration, he apologized profusely and said I had every right to be mad (which made me more mad). I don’t know where to go from here. He can go back to this program, but it means the end date gets pushed out a year. And he still doesn’t actually want to do that job. But he won’t agree to move somewhere with more opportunity away from his home and family, which he thinks will be beneficial for us when we start a family. I’m just so mad I can’t think straight.
Anon
I’m thinking you dodged a bullet by not starting family thus far. Perhaps it’s restart time.
When we moved to a new middle of the country state for my DH’s job, one of the conditions of which was to finish some education classes and I later found out he flunked out of those classes while telling his employer he got Bs… I was seeing colors. I busted my ass there for $8.50 an hour (which was a “good” wage there in 2006!) working 12 hour shifts, after quitting a much more lucrative job in our home state. He didn’t get fired and we stayed together. I’d love to say he’s changed. But the reality is he’s still not reliable. He has other qualities and I’m very self sufficient and almost OK with taking care of everything, but if you want equality I’d consider trying again.
Anonymous
If he won’t agree to (ever) move away from his family, that’s a red flag to me. What about your family? What about opportunities for both of you? This situation seems a bit one sided. And it also means that your entire circle of friends/support system will always have more invested in him than you. As in, any major issues or life decisions, he’s already got built in sounding boards that will agree with him and you will lose the argument every.single.time.
Can you find a neutral place to move that has opportunities for both of you? Not across the country but maybe 2-3 hours away? That would help with equality and also get him out of his comfort zone and allow you to build a new life, together, in a new place, rather than you fitting in to his old life. Because if you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone, you need to know they can step up in a crunch, and handle change and tough things. If he can’t, or won’t, I would consider other options.
Anon
I agree so much with this.
Your current setup is already very unequal. His friends and family likely do not see it that way. (My husband is alone among his friends and family, but not colleagues, in believing I made massive sacrifices for our marriage. It’s not that his friends are bad people; it’s either that their wives did the same for them and they are uncomfortable with facing how much they owe their own wives, or they just see everything working out for their own friend and don’t want to believe there are problems.)
The tactic I would take is: if he doesn’t want to go all-in on opportunities here, you’re moving back where you have opportunities, friends, and family. He can choose to come, or not.
Anonymous
Ugh. Sorry this has happened.
How did you find out? And if via him, what does he have to say about it?I
I feel like I remember 2008-2010 all too well. Like even if you like your job / town, that may all go away, with no notice to you or meaningful opportunity to manage your crash landing.
[I married into a family of almost shocking lacking in ambition. I am from a family recently well-acquainted with outhouses, so I am crazy motivated by money and opportunities to have more / better job opportunities. In-laws are from generations of prosperity if not outright wealth, and yet both of my SILs wouldn’t cross the street for money because it would inconvenience them slightly. My husband is full of hustle by comparison.]
Frustrated
He told me because I directly asked what was going on with school yesterday. He mentioned about a month ago (right around the time he would have quit, or as he calls it “postponed”) that he was thinking about it, and I was very clear that if he wants to stay in this area, he needed to go through with the program. He is so incredibly wonderful day-to-day and with all little things, but he is unbearable thoughtless and selfish when it comes to big decisions. I just don’t know what to do.
Anonymous
Sounds like he wanted to have a broader discussion with you then, but perhaps your response shut that down. Has this dynamic been seen before in a relationship?
Anon
I don’t think I could stay with somebody who is unbearably selfish and thoughtless.
Anonymous
That suuuuuuucks. Something like that would make me seriously worry that my husband wasn’t playing on OUR team, but HIS team.
Frustrated
Exactly how I feel.
Anonymous
What you’re looking for is permission to get a divorce. You’re throwing your life away on someone not trying who you’re embarrassed to share with your family.
The original Scarlett
Totally agree it’s crappy how he handled it, but I think you both might want to go back to the drawing board and figure out a different path to better opportunities. I can empathize with quitting a program because you realize you’d hate being the thing you’re training for. Before I met my H, I was seriously dating a miserable accountant who did that job for “opportunity” and “security” – neither came because there was no love there and he was miserable more than happy (and that’s why that ended). I’d be upset too, but if he’s got to do the job, it can’t be something that kills his soul, but he’s also got to give up some other factor (maybe where you live, etc.)
Anon
I really love The original Scarlett’s advice. Here’s mine.
I am always amused by the “OMG dump him” gut reactions, as though ending a marriage is just that easy (it may look that way to people who have never been married, I admit).
The bottom line is, yes, his choices affect you. But you do not get to choose for him that he gets or keeps a job that makes him miserable. You’re not the one who has to get up and go to that job and get through it, 8-10 hours a day. The opportunities that he can get by completing the training aren’t opportunities he wants. That’s kind of the end of the story. You don’t get to decide for him that he has to do something he hates because you want to have a certain amount of money or you think he “should” do something. Even though he is married to you, you do not get dictatorial power over him to decide something major about his life, like what his career should be. He’s not proposing that he quit his job to stay home and play XBox and you can support the household. If the tables were turned, please admit you would never capitulate to doing something you hated 40+ hours a week just because he thought it was necessary. Yes, you are a family, but you are also both individual autonomous adults who have your own needs, desires and thoughts separate from the marriage. He did not give up all his inner hopes and dreams when he married you, no more than you gave up yours when you married him. The key is, can you work together collaboratively to figure out how you can both get to a situation that you can live with or maybe even be happy in. If you haven’t read “Getting to Yes,” it can help in this situation.
“I was very clear that if he wants to stay in this area, he needed to go through with the program.”
I have been married over two decades and here’s something I learned a long time ago: ultimatums rarely reap positive results. Putting choices into zero-sum scenarios usually just sends people into a place of either panic (and then they tend to make impulsive, damaging decisions) or sullen resistance. I think you just experienced that, when you gave him the ultimatum and he quit the program anyway. Also, let’s project into the future a little. So he completes the training and is miserable the whole time. Then he takes a job that also makes him miserable. Now here you are, 5 years down the line, he’s miserable, you probably aren’t that happy either (because it’s hard to be happy married to someone who is miserable), there are maybe now kids living in a house with two unhappy people who resent each other. Congratulations, that is a perfect recipe for a bitter, protracted, damaging divorce that screws up the kids permanently. There is no reality where he knuckles under and does what you want without protest and it all ends up sunshine and roses and everyone is blissful. That only happens in the movies. The scenario you are setting up generally ends in someone drinking too much or cheating or finding reasons not to come home or multiple sessions of long, pointless arguments that upset everyone and go nowhere. Until someone can’t take it any more and moves out.
There is probably some kind of compromise position here if you will look for it and stop treating your DH like a child. It is absolutely not fair that he is being intractable about moving away from his family, and that can absolutely be a point of discussion in the negotiations. If you bend on the career aspect, he should bend on where you live. There’s probably some room for compromise on both sides, which is better explored with him than with us. If neither of you can bend, sorry to say, there probably isn’t much of a future for the marriage. Very honestly, neither of you seems mature enough to be married. Staying married requires give and take and if two people are completely invested in their own points of view, to the exclusion of anything else, and can’t find a way to work it out collaboratively and productively, there’s probably only one direction that’s going.
CostAccountant
This is excellent advice.
The original Scarlett
Agreed completely- this is a much better explanation than what I said.
Frustrated
This is the reasonable, thoughtful advice that has kept me reading here for 10 years. Thank you.
Anonymous
Is anyone else rethinking retirement/other long-term investing plans given climate change and the state of politics? I’m feeling like I should live for today instead of bending over backwards to save for tomorrow. (Last year we put six figures in retirement accounts, and we’re only mid 40s.)
Anonymous
No. Women in my family live into their mid90s after lives of cooking in lard and no exercise. In a world with no pensions for me, that means saving and living well below my means.
Anonymous
I just want to chime in and say that if you are in your mid-forties, you should not be applauding yourself for putting six figures in retirement accounts. You should be figuring out how much more you can put in and what you are wasting money on. Every single dollar is going to matter when the world goes to hell and there is mandated movement to new areas, food is scarce, and weather makes life both dangerous and expensive. I suspect you are woefully under-saving and the new year is a good time to cut out those expensive lattes and unnecessary Amazon purchases.
Anon
OMG. Whatever, paranoiac.
Anonymous
If you seriously think this way, get some help. Both your attitude toward your finances and about the dire predictions for the future aren’t balanced or healthy. You don’t have to live this way, scared to death of things that may never happen. It’s way more likely you’ll die in a car accident or of a heart attack before any of what you enumerated in your post comes to pass. My heart goes out to you, truly.
OP
aw thanks for your concern! LAST YEAR we put six figures in. our net worth is around 3MM. much of it is in retirement accounts or property though, which won’t help us if the apocalypse comes before we’re 59.5.
Anon
As someone who lived through the collapse of the Soviet Union, I can tell you your savings accounts will be worth zilch regardless of how many zeros you thought you counted there. The first outcome of an apocalypse is severe inflation.
Anonymous
I don’t attribute it to the current political climate, but we (DH and I are 35 with 3 young kids) feel balance is important. We’ve saved hard since graduating college (2006) and grad school (2010/2012). We’ve made conservative financial moves, diligently socked away into retirement, and now peek into our bank account and think “eh, we’re doing alright. We could save more, but also, pretty soon we’ll be old.” So we still max the 401k, but sometimes we might take an extra vacation instead of also putting a full 10k into IRAs.
Example: when I was 24 and in Boston, friends were going to those big $250+ New Year’s Eve parties. DH (who was my boyfriend at the time) and i bought a $50 bottle of champagne, a $10 bottle of wine, some Trader Joe’s apps and literally got drunk and talked about how we’d put $400 into our retirement account instead of spending it at the bar. It was so dorky and honestly a moment I remember from when we were dating where I thought “man, I want to marry this guy.”
Anon
We’re not “living for today” but we’re not putting every penny away either – there has to be a balance. Unlike many on this board, we don’t make enough money to make maxing out our 401ks doable. Maxing our 401ks would take over 20% of our income and we also need to pay deductibles and coinsurances for healthcare, save for our son’s college, and repair our house and cars periodically – so we don’t do that. We contribute a percentage of money we think is reasonable and both of us are fortunate to have employer match. We live in a moderately-priced house for our area, kid goes to public school, we drive used Hyundais, so we’re not living the high life. We do prioritize taking vacations and living in a way that feels comfortable for us. That means I have a housekeeper every other week and we eat out once a week. I’m not willing to give that up to sock more money into my 401k.
There’s also the whole question of how much money to save based on what financial “experts” say (people who definitely have skin in the game, since they or their firms make more money when people have more assets under management) and what is right for you, and your situation. For us – literally no one in my family has lived past 80 and I have a chronic health condition that will probably kill me sooner rather than later (likely sometime in my 60s). Not a lot of longevity in my husband’s family either – they do get a lot of cancer. It’s really key, when calculating monetary needs for retirement, to look at the calculator’s assumptions. When we first ran numbers, it said we needed $3 million to retire. I looked at the assumptions, which were that we would need 90% of our pre-retirement income to “live comfortably” in retirement and that my husband and I were going to live to be 95. Nope. Our retirement dream is to buy a manufactured house on a little piece of land in a rural community and live simply, so we don’t need anywhere near 90% of what we currently make to do that. See above on the idea we will live to 95 – in our families, it just doesn’t happen. I also know, after having to put my grandmother into full nursing care earlier this year (she was 91), I would rather die than have to do that – and in fact, she did die a month after we put her in care. I looked up statistics and the average nursing home stay is 5 months, which jibes with what we have seen with our friends’ parents and grandparents – most people don’t last long in nursing homes. There are some significant outliers where people end up spending decades in nursing care but those aren’t typical. If you read financial advice, though, advisors take the position that couples should plan for each person to be in nursing care for decades and save up a gigantic amount to cover that expense. When that’s not what actuarial statistics say actually happens to people. It’s just as ridiculous as claiming everyone needs to save as though they will live to 95, when in actuality chronic diseases are rampant and average life expectancies are going down. Also, I’ve said this here before, but many advisors calculate retirement amounts based on the idea that you will live primarily on the interest of your investments and leave the bulk of the principal to your heirs. That may not be something everyone’s willing to do.
I have lived a longer time than most on this board and so take dire predictions of climate catastrophe and societal collapse with a huge grain of salt. When I was in middle school, we were told that the hole in the ozone layer would enlarge to the point that none of us would be able to go outside during the day without getting some kind of instantaneous skin cancer and that society would have to adapt to living underground or coming out only at night. In high school I was told that by the time I was the age I am now, 25% of the population would be dead from AIDS. You know what researchers didn’t predict? The opioid crisis that has killed way more people than either skin cancer or AIDS in the last few years. I have read climate science and do believe climate change is happening. I am not sure it’s going to look like people are saying. Bad things will happen, but who knows whose predictions and models will end up being correct.
If you feel squeezed, remember that the right financial plan, the right amount to save, etc. is the right amount for you. A lot of people think of it in terms of “shoulds” and what someone else feels like they “should” do may not be right for you. It’s worth re-evaluating your financial planning to figure out what works for you, regardless of whether or not it’s what someone else claims it’s what you’re supposed to do.
Anonymous
I remember the “hole in the ozone” death warnings too. And the AIDS crisis. Remember how Y2K was going to make all our bank balances revert back to zero? (Class of ’88 unite!)
I also agree that a “live for today” mentality is a bit short sighted. The world is unlikely to end before anyone on this board is 70 and then what — I do think social security will be long gone by then, and if you don’t have retirement savings, WHAT WILL YOU DO? It costs money to eat and live somewhere. I do not plan to rely on my children and I do not plan to rely on my government.
So I have savings. Millions in the bank? Not yet. But I’m not clearing the IRAs to go on a blow out “the world is ending tomorrow” spree because I think the planet is going to explode.
LaurenB
Seven figures saved bc it’s not out of the realm of possibility that this country will implode and we will need to get ourselves, our mid-twenties (single) children and my mother out of here. And no, I’m not a prepper type at all, but Trump 2020 scares me and the beyond scares me even more.
anonymous
I’m genuinely sorry you’re choosing to live your life in fear of something that probably won’t happen. That must feel very frightening and lonely.
P.S., I hope you and other money-hoarders realize that if the chips really fall, having all that money in the bank and in the markets won’t help you, because if things go that far down, banks and markets will collapse. Unless you’re saving your money in literal cash (which may become valueless) or gold, there are real possibilities it will be lost, stolen or confiscated by the government. Those possibilities are no more far-fetched than what you’re proposing. And BTW, if you do have it in cash or gold, but you don’t have or know how to use guns, be aware that there are “prepper” types out there who will kill you and take your money if it comes down to it. So it might be a good idea to spend some of your hoarded cash on a gun and some shooting lessons if you’re that invested in holding on to your hoard.
BTW, I’m just curious where you think you’ll go if the US collapses? Thanks to income inequality your amount of money is piddling compared to others and I don’t see Canada or Mexico opening their borders with open arms to any Americans other than the richest and most famous.
I know having all that money makes you feel safe, and like you have control. Here’s the truly terrifying thing: you are not safe regardless of how much money you have. No one is ever in control. You are just as vulnerable as the next person – maybe more so, if you haven’t cultivated any “street smarts” to help you survive. I know so many people here have come from families and environments that taught them that money can buy anything, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Sorry you’ve bought into a damaging and futile narrative. It’s not too late to change.
Anon
Not LaurenB but i don’t think she’s saying that she thinks the economy is going to entirely collapse, but more that this country might become a place where she doesn’t feel she can safely live (for example if women or minorities are stripped of even more rights). I’m Jewish and definitely feel the need to have money saved to get to another country should we see a repeat of Nazi Germany. I know that’s not a guarantee – there were certainly wealthy Jews who died in the Holocaust – but I think it’s naive to think that being rich doesn’t help you escape bad situations, because it certainly does.
LaurenB
That’s exactly it. I’m Jewish too, and of course money will help me get the hell out of Dodge (and my family too) if the country becomes inhospitable.
And ewww, no, I’m not going to go get a gun; as an urban Northerner, I associate guns with rednecks and criminals. I’m not going to wait til it’s the Apocalypse to bolt.
I’m not “frightened” on a daily basis at all, any more than I’m “frightened” by having a homeowners policy in case my house burns down. That’s a really odd take. I have a nice enjoyable life and I don’t suffer in any way.
Anon
If you’re Jewish, Obama should have scared you, and Trump’s presidency should be a good thing.
Stop reading hysterical propaganda and look at what he is actually doing.
LaurenB
Not in the least. Btw I just attended the URJ (Union for Reform Judaism( biennial conference, and we are all pretty sick about the prospect of Trump 2020. As most Jews are, of course.
anon
Just to the point of the ozone hole: the dire predictions of scientists at the time facilitated the Montreal protocol, an effective international treaty to ban ozone-depleting substances that was ratified by all states of the UN and actually put into action. The growth of the ozone hole has been stopped and we are observing recovery (possibly full recovery by 2070), because we actually listened to researchers.
LaurenB
How else do you (OP) plan on surviving if you don’t save aggressively? Do you think that SS and Medicare are untouchable or something? They could go away at any minute. I don’t count on a dime from either when planning retirement. I pay for my 100 yo grandmother’s nursing home at $9,000/month – and she has no health issues other than being a frail old lady who can no longer be self-sufficient. You don’t know what the future brings for you or loved ones – “live for today” seems so immature.
anon
I don’t think the OP was looking for your snarky judgement here, but hey, thanks for providing some during this season of charity and perpetual hope. Happy holidays to you, if you’re capable of experiencing happiness.
Anonymous
Yeah, saving more, not less. And also, the next wave of medicine is amazing but viciously expensive.
Anon
I believe in climate science, and while I certainly believe we’ll see a lot of loss and suffering in my lifetime and the effects in many places will be dramatic (I’ve visited the Maldives and fully believe that country will cease to exist before I die), I don’t know that my daily life as an affluent person in the US Midwest will change very much. My house isn’t going to be underwater or in an area where the sun is giving everyone skin cancer in 5 minutes. Sure, we’ll see an increase in the number of natural disasters like tornadoes and blizzards but the odds of me dying in one is still extremely small, especially as more employers and schools adopt teleworking policies that let us avoid going outside in inclement weather.
I second what others said about the current political climate necessitating more money, not less. I want to have the means to get myself and my kids out of this country fast if necessary.
All that said, my philosophy is to save responsibly but still enjoy life. My husband and I put a combined $50k in retirement savings currently, we expect to up to more like $75k when we’re done paying daycare bills in a couple years. We could put more, but we enjoy traveling, having a nice home, saving for our kids college and yes, occasional $4 coffees.