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Weekend Open Thread

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

I was happy to include this V-neck jersey maxi dress from Loveappella in our post on some of the top things readers bought in March 2020. It's been around for years, is very well reviewed, and always looked like a solid, affordable dress — something a little put-together for a casual weekend day, but I can also see it being great for … yes, working from home. (Perhaps the neckline is a bit low for a Zoom call, however!) In terms of comfort, I don't think you can get much better than this. If you don't like the fitted details at the waist in the pictured style, Loveappella has another one that's very popular with a looser fit. This comes in regular and petite sizes — and while it was $68 full price, it's now on sale for $34, so if this looks like your jam, go for it. V-Neck Jersey Maxi Dress

The plus-size Loveappella maxi dress at Nordstrom has sold out, unfortunately, but Old Navy has a nice one that's on sale for only $20. 

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

288 Comments

  1. I have a similar dress from Boden and haven’t worn it in years because the high waist and full skirt feel dated. Slimmer, column-type maxi and midi dresses look more current to me.

      1. out of curiosity how old are you? I’m seeing so many in stores right now they feel more fresh

      2. Agreed; they were very big 2014-2016 (here anyway) and I haven’t seen them in a couple years.

          1. Dress is so cute! I only can wish, b/c I am to short with a tuchus. Myrna also says she can’t wear this–and that we must be both tall and cute to pull this off. I think that Blake Liveley and Selma Hyack would both look great wearing this, but I personaly am not tall or svelte enough for this one.

      3. I wish they’d go beyond dated and just die, but unfortunately, as long as there are beachgoers with unimaginative styles, they will live on. I prefer the t-shirt maxis as well, since they tend to fall more into the loungewear look rather than this overly exposed housewife look.

        1. I love anything that falls into the dress category, where I don’t have to shave my legs.

          No pants + no hair removal = heaven

          1. This is the exact reason I like maxi dresses in the summer. I’m lazy AF and I like skirts in the summer.

          2. Yea I love maxi dresses. They’re so comfortable and easy, and I feel like I’m walking around in a light blanket.

          4. I don’t care if they are “dated”~ who thinks that up anyway? I feel goddess awesome and wear them with spaghetti strap heels for dinners out on a hot summer evening. Black for me all the way.

      5. I love them, but if you are like me with a tuchus, the high cut will NOT sheild your tuchus from sticking out in the back, and that is what happens when I put one on. Even if I look good up front, and people focus on my boobies, I can’t hope they will even be abel to see them as I pass by, and as a result, they will have to see my tuchus, and there’s no way I can cover that up with a dress cut like this. So the trick is for us to have smaller tuchuses in order to be able to carry this off. I hope that if I loose 10 pounds, I can start wearing this to formal events, but not until then.

    2. Caphillstyle posted a t-shirt maxi today that I like. It also looks more current to me; the style posted here looks dated.

      1. I tried finding that and couldn’t find it – would you be able to link or describe?

        1. It’s in her afternoon post today about happy hour; I’ll add a link in a second post in case the link causes it to go into m0d. She actually recommended the same dress earlier in the week as well (April 16 post called The Edition). It must be a fav.

      3. A few days ago someone made a joke about Ballantyne in Charlotte—I’ve been researching to make a move for a while and Charlotte is the frontrunner (weather, nature, COL, opportunities in my industry) and so I did a “neighborhood search” online within Charlotte and the best match was…Ballantyne West. I’m curious if any Charlotte readers can give me suggestions for neighborhoods since that seemed to be more or less a joke? Single so schools don’t matter (and WFH so commute doesn’t really matter) but I do want a SFH. I’d love an area that, if not super walkable itself (since that is often incompatible with SFHs) has local coffee shops and bakeries, boutique fitness, nice grocery stores, etc.

    3. It depends on the dress for me. Anything with spaghetti straps would scream 10+ years ago to me. Same with a higher or halter neck. But the wider strap v-neck and tank styles still feel current enough to me. I think much of it depends on how flattering the fit is too. A good fitting, flattering maxi dress seems fairly timeless. Kind of LBD-like, but obviously not *that* timeless.

    4. I think there’s something very dated feeling about this particular maxi – I think it’s a combination of the color and the style. Maxis in neutral colors (black, particularly) in other styles (t-shirt, etc) that we didn’t see a lot of 8-10 years ago feel a lot more current.

    5. I just really don’t like maxi dresses in any form. So much freaking fabric, all wrapped around my legs. No thanks.

    6. Does anyone have any recommendations for maxi skirts? I have a fantastic skirt from Gap that I wear probably 1-2x a week in the summer (“business casual” is an overstatement of my work’s dress code) and they don’t make it anymore. It’s just a basic black maxi skirt with a foldover waist. They have a bunch on A-zon but my experiences previously have been that most of them are made of super, super thin fabric that doesn’t hold up to even normal wear.

      1. I’ve seen one I like at Nordstrom, the Lovapella brand. I believe it comes in solid colors. Has foldover waist.

        1. I found this one looking tonight and bought it in 2/3 colors! If I like it I might buy it in the mixed floral too. Thanks!

  2. I have too much work right now. I’ve been billing 80 hrs/week and tracking another 20-30 hrs/week for the last month. At some point I need to say “later” to clients or just shut my computer down and walk away and know a client might get mad. I do labor and employment.

    How can I accept this or come to terms with this? No one is forcing me to do the work per se but client demands are so high in my area. I have asked for help and my firm has offered to basically give me a first year associate during this time but training takes so much time (she has never heard of FMLA or COBRA before) so I’m only delegating discrete research projects to her.

    I need to get better at delegating but I also need to learn to tell clients it’ll be “soon” instead of “by tomorrow afternoon” and /or get sleep knowing that I didn’t get back to someone when promised. Ideas?

    1. I can’t comment on the client dynamics in law (I know that’s a tough world), but one thing that helps me set boundaries is making plans and having distinct reasons why I can’t do the work instantly. I don’t believe that you NEED to give a client a reason or an excuse, but it helps with the internal mental calculus if you can say to yourself “oh, I can’t promise Client X the product by Monday since I have plans with my kid all weekend” or “Nope, can’t do that tonight since I paid for my workout class already.” Of course, all of that is harder during social distancing, but give it a shot and you’ll get used to setting that boundary, plans or no plans.

      In my field of work, we have also experienced cases where my boss has apologetically asked for a deadline extension or proposed a later due date and the client has been like “oh yeah that’s 100% fine, no problem.” It may not be a big deal for you either.

    2. Can you prioritize clients by need? Are there some RIFs that just have to be done now because of budgets and some handbooks/general policy advising that can be pushed out for a month? Or is it all RIFs and managing new paid sick leave laws?

      1. I agree with this.

        Also another idea is to get your associate to write some updates for common questions from your clients if there’s some time for that. It will help her learn and will be a good service to the clients. I am in-house counsel and we have gotten some really good white papers from various firms that have headed off A LOT of questions to our outside counsel. For me, I’d want help with something urgent (i.e., being forced to lay off a bunch of people) but would understand if non-urgent questions are answered within a few days rather than the next day. If it’s something like a handbook update that’s not COVID related, I would understand that taking quite a while. Obviously you want to communicate that with the clients, but hopefully they’re being reasonable.

    3. I’ve been using “I’m next available for a call tomorrow at 11” They don’t know if that means I’m talking to clients until 10 pm or 5pm the night before. So you can use that for whatever the assignment. “I will be able to work on this starting Wednesday”

      2. Let me rewrite that for you so that you don’t dehumanize a person into a “resource”: “You need to put the time into training the associate so that they can help you. It’s a lot of work up front, but best for them and you long term.” FTFY.

      3. Oh, get off it. Don’t act like I don’t care deeply about my employees. I was encouraging her to knowledge share and build up the person who is there to help her.

        Trust me, I understand the short term pain of spending 2x the effort to train someone else on a task I could do myself.

        It’s been a week and it wouldn’t hurt people to assume positive intent.

        1. No one said you don’t care deeply about your employees. We can’t know if you do or not. What we do know is what was in front of us and that was you saying that a person, a real living person, is a “resource.” It’s a very dismissive and disrespectful way of referring to a living, breathing person. People are more than what they offer to you.

        2. I think “resource” is just one of the latest terms to fall out of vogue because people have decided to interpret negative connotation. Perhaps some people are using it in a context that contributes to the negativity? It’s not how I have experienced it or how I think of it but if I stretch I can see how someone might come to that conclusion.

          Enough people have reacted negatively to the term on this board lately that I would assume this is the way the word is going regardless of my experience and start trying to use another term. But also people responding as if she called the associate a bad name need to chill and assume good intentions. They are making a lot of assumptions about a term that is very commonly used without the nuance they are applying to it. If they want to shift the terminology they can use some more productive language themselves.

          1. Agree – I feel like this is an example of the faux outrage that has become very popular recently. Can we all agree to save outrage for actual offensive words? Plenty of people describe THEMSELVES as resources or use the term resource to refer to a person as a compliment (e.g., Susie is an excellent resource for clients evaluating RIFs)

          2. Agree – I feel like this is an example of the faux outrage that has become so popular in recent years. Can we please save the outrage for actual offensive words? Plenty of people refer to themselves as resource or use resource to refer to someone as a compliment (e.g. Susie is an excellent resource for clients evaluating potential layoffs)

      4. As the OP – this has been my mindset. I’m so grateful on the one hand for the extra help in theory, but in practice, it takes so long to shape and figure out the right follow up questions to get her on the right path. I’ve had clerk and associate support in the past but rarely urgent. I’m going to start picking one topic and ask her to dig in, or one white paper. I like these ideas. Thank you!

        1. Can you have her do an FAQ on something you have had to explain ad nauseum? Then you can send it to clients with that issue, suggest they read it and then you talk about their specific situation?

    5. It won’t last. Trust me. As someone who has usueally billed over 150 hours a week in a good week, I now find myself struggling to get to 80 hours / week, mainly b/c the courts have shut down to all of my “non-essential” cases. FOOEY!

  3. Genuine economics question here, about federal/national level spending. It seems like many wealthy countries are giving ongoing relief to their citizens during the pandemic while the USA gave the $1200 flat amount. Is there a financial, economics reason behind the different approaches, rather than a political one? In other words, is it just the different political views on role of government / safety nets between the countries or is there is a financial reason why ongoing relief is possible in some countries but not others?

      1. Yeah, CARES Act provides an additional $600/week on top of regular unemployment benefits. That’s not insignificant. In fact, as a result of this, some unemployed people are actually getting more in unemployment benefits than they would if they had continued to be employed (and that cut-off number is higher than you’d think).

        1. By very quick math, $600/week + normal unemployment benefits (say, $300/week) is $45,000 a year. There are a lot of people who earn less than that.

          2. High of $713, usually. It’s often 50% or 60% of what you had been earning prior to losing your job.

        2. If you’re lucky enough to qualify. I’m waiting on the final pending on my claim, but I was rejected under the normal UI benefits because of long-term unemployment. Our entire safety net system is a shambles compared to other advanced economies.

          1. when you’re rejected from regular unemployment you may still be eligible for the Pandemic Unemployment Assistance.

    2. As a health lobbyist caught up in all of this, I haven’t heard any reason articulated. I think it’s completely political. Kind of like guns, abortion, education… We’re unique on a lot of policy positions compared to other developed nations.

    3. It’s 100% political. Republicans don’t believe in helping the working poor.

      1. No one in favor of continuing quarantine for months on end cares about the working poor either.

        1. It’s the policymakers who are refusing to ramp up testing and contact tracing so we can go back to work safely who don’t care about the working poor.

          1. +1,000. The economy is important but it can eventually be fixed. Human lives can’t be fixed like that.

          2. Say many of us who are likely employed, likely working from home. We need to check our privilege and start defining the data points that will drive our plan to figure out what our new normal looks like.

          3. I think “not dying” is a pretty universal hope, honestly. It isn’t just for those of us with privilege.

    4. A lot of spending priorities in other countries are different. No other country spends as high of a % of their GDP on the military, for example.

          1. Inconvenient facts don’t start being eyeroll-worthy just because they are uncomfortable.

          3. +1000 the world would be better off without the US military. And so would the US, as we could finally start spending our money on actually useful things.

        2. well, it obviously is a situation influenced by many factors, but I am pretty sure that Congress doesn’t spend all that money on the military because they graciously want to help out all the other countries who don’t invest the same into their military.

          1. +1 the world will be fine without ANY country’s military, but what do I know. More eyeroll.

          2. Anonymous at 6:20, you are mind-blowingly naive. Ask people in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, the Sudan, or in Sierra Leone what happens when your own country’s military isn’t strong enough to repel a group of radical fundamentalists intent on wiping out entire factions of the country’s population because they are the wrong religion, or the wrong tribe, etc. All the wifty peace-and-love pie-in-the-sky imaginings in the world don’t negate a fundamental truth: that humans are fundamentally tribalistic and also somewhat violent, and as competition for scarce resources increases people around the world will be in conflict. Stop living in a fantasy world. Wake up.

      2. Also we are larger than plenty of developed countries. There are less than 6 million people in Denmark, more than 330 million in the US. I’m all for a better social safety net, national healthcare, basically more “red” than “green” as liberals go, but so many comparisons between the US and other developed countries seem a little facile to me. There are so many programs (Finland’s baby boxes for instance) that seem lovely but would be so hard to implement here just because of size and regional variance.

        1. Honestly, I think we could do a lot of things that other developed countries do that cost $. It’s just political. There are *plenty* of expensive programs that benefit the wealthy and the upper-middle-class, but heaven forfend that we get rid of tax breaks for hedge fund bros in favor of buying formula for poor mothers.

    5. One of the Republican Senators was really clear on this, explaining his view that if we provide more assistance then we will create a welfare state. He thinks UBI for a pandemic would turn into permanent UBI. I don’t happen to agree with him on what our priorities should be but it does come from a philosophical viewpoint about what the government should and should not do.

  4. To those who’ve been following closely — for covid it seems like they’ve put forth broad categories that are higher risk like cardiac, lung, diabetes etc. Does this mean that anyone who has ever had any cardiac/lung/etc issue is higher risk even if it was resolved? Say you had high BP or cholesterol and it’s medicated; or are you at risk as a pre diabetic same as actual diabetes? Or is this just not known yet because this is so new? And how will it be researched — will it be the cardiology section of AMA/academic systems researching cardiac risks, pulmonology with lung?

    Reason I’m asking is if you’re in this broad category, is it at all worth a call to the specialist (or their NP, PA etc) to ask if there’s “guidance” on whether you should act as higher risk? As people talk re entry plans (this is no rush – my state is on stay home until June), one of the formulations that always comes up is get people back at the office who are not high risk. Yet IDK where I fall on that scale. I’d be reaching out to a specialist at an east coast academic center if that matters, though obviously don’t want to waste their time either.

    1. I’d read the NYU study first. As drivers of hospitalization, these weren’t the main ones. Age is the primary driver.

      1. Thanks. I had been wondering how many of these comorbidities could possibly be proxies for age. Early on I saw some hypothesizing about the thymus, but I don’t know what other theories are being considered for why children do better and why outcomes get so much worse with increased age.

    2. I looked this up some since everyone in my household has tested as prediabetic or as diabetic (bad genes). As far as I could tell, diabetes weakens the immune system when insulin is elevated, and when blood sugars have been high enough long enough to damage nerves. I concluded that we’re not at increased risk so long as we keep our blood sugar and insulin within normal ranges (which we normally do through a restricted and expensive diet combined with exercise). I don’t know if diabetes can increase risk in ways that have nothing to do with immune function (though it seems possible if there is nerve damage), and I didn’t look into meds since we’re not on them.

      My partner monitors blood pressure, and I hope it’s the case that if it’s okay now that’s good enough! I have similar questions about cholesterol (is the risk factor the cholesterol itself, whatever the thing was that caused the high cholesterol, or even the meds prescribed for it). I don’t think we know the answers to those questions yet. My partner’s doctor did suggest a history of pneumonia could mean something, but I didn’t understand if he meant that it suggests weakness to pneumonia, or if it’s because every bout of pneumonia can leave a little damage.

      I wouldn’t worry about wasting anyone’s time. At some hospitals, they’ve put doctors who are themselves high risk on telemedicine duty, so they are available for appointments (and the hospitals could actually use the business right now, financially).

      1. +1 to everything about telemedicine. Where I work, the docs in endocrinology have specifically been talking a lot about managing diabetic patients with COVID, so I’m sure they’d be happy to assuage your concerns/talk about risks/bill your insurance.

    3. I’m not sure about your questions; I imagine it depends on how much is related to genetics versus lifestyle. However, I’m concerned about how patients with immune deficiency are faring. The numbers actually look somewhat promising so far (in the data from CDC and NY state), but a lot of us have rare conditions that simply aren’t going to show up in the data as much. I’m not sure where I’m going to be able to get any information about how much risk we’re in when not that many people have these conditions to begin with.

      1. Pure Imagination – I have a really rare lymphoma (so rare it’s not in the NIH list of rare diseases) and I’ve spent a lot of time researching covid and immune deficiency and impact of pre-existing conditions, given that we don’t have much information. The early info out of China wasn’t very good. Here’s what I’ve found. I’ll post the links in next message.

        One thing I have seen a lot of recently is that people with diabetes, obesity and heart disease or “metabolic syndrome” are hardest hit and those over 65.

        I’ve asked a few medical people and was given two really new articles that are only ~2 weeks old. Both of the doctors said that what is really evident from these is that some immunocompromized patients were victims of infections that they got from being in the hospital, so the advice was to stay out of the hospital (and otherwise away from infection). One said: “The take-home here is that the infection rate in cancer patients was double the general population. But they also went to the hospital at an increased rate, suggesting the hospital during a virulent viral outbreak is the worst possible place for a cancer patient to go.” That should apply to anyone with a pre-existing condition.

        Another said “Cancer is listed as a minor risk factor, under “other chronic disease.” Apparently cancer by itself wasn’t a big enough risk factor to be its own category. In that paper, “other chronic disease” was the #1 risk factor with diabetes #2. Obesity was also in that category.”

        This first one from the CDC has the relevant info in Table 1 under “Other Chronic Diseases”.

        1. Here’s the CDC article with notes on chronic lung disease, among others: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/69/wr/mm6913e2.htm?fbclid=IwAR2M0T2eCctiEx_S51DFLEI1iYv2VPKXCIihGca3pfZohsPIaEkFOTlcR7w#T1_down

          And the other: https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.04.08.20057794v1?fbclid=IwAR2-PrE_3odJ-_O_PaWyj__VSir2qgtN8Qf2AbOyjL_0T6kKY0vTxiviBt0

          For anyone with cancer, there is this one from JAMA Oncology: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamaoncology/fullarticle/2763673?fbclid=IwAR3iWEr0haVilj3F9pHiudgRfTh5qt74PKv9HmSRfMcaKjy5k8cDvPRO_So

    4. My otherwise healthy husband has Type I diabetes. We did a telemedicine appointment with his doctor. His doctor’s view is that if his condition is well-managed, it is not really a risk factor for developing Covid-19 or for worse symptoms. His doctor advised have a month of insulin pens and testing supplies, and to bring that with him if he ends up in the hospital with Covid and to make sure the hospital puts a bracelet on him indicating he has T1D.

    5. You don’t say where your dr. is located. Unless you’re at an epicenter where drs. are crushed (in which case wait esp if your stay home goes until June), I can’t imagine a specialist at Duke or UPenn or Emory would not be willing to have a conversation with you about how to plan this. And if they don’t do telemedicine/you feel you’re “wasting their time” (you’re not), then send them a message via patient portal. Those messages are usually screened by those doctors ‘PAs/NPs etc. That person will pass along your message and the dr. will either say “ask her to schedule with me” or will relay his/her thoughts to the PA/NP who’ll pass the message onto you. Maybe they’re not getting these requests right now since a lot of people are still home, but I do expect that specialists will start getting these questions in the next 2 weeks-2 months depending on location as their patients are expected to return to work; people will be wondering if they should return/telework more, if they are allowed business travel etc.

    6. The CDC plan for my county is really detailed on what they consider a high risk condition. I downloaded a copy of the plan for reference for reopening.

  5. The libraries thread this morning was just so . . . stabby.

    I think that going forward, a lot of businesses and services are going to look really different. Restaurants have been doing backflips for a month now to keep the lights on and from firing too many staff. I think that any service or business is going to have to go down that path sooner or later and really ought to have someone thinking about this.

    FWIW, my main big city library is due for an overhaul. Recently, it has a cool makerspace in it, but many people have abandoned it in favor of getting city museum memberships due to the homeless population that lives there in the daytime. IDK whether it gets rebuilt now, given how strapped our city will be, or has public space in it, as that seems to create an insafe environment for patrons and workers. I think that suburban libraries may continue: books, story hour, internet for people like my parents who don’t have it at home (too rural). I know that that was deemed to be “antiquated,” but I think that we are seeing a lot of things fall back to their core mission and not what the best-world expanded version can be (e.g., what passes for on-line school vs actual school).

    But I think for all of us: we change, possibly radically, or we won’t make it. Governments will have less $ coming in, starting last month, and expenses and needs are skyrocketing. Ditto businesses. We have to be nible and flexible.

    1. My library does absolutely incredible things for the whole community. It isn’t just “librarians who don’t know anything but the Dewey decimal system.” I’m in a city with a big homeless problem, and there are social workers on staff at the library, computers and hotspots available for check out, help with job applications and resumes, classes for LEP individuals, tax help, legal clinics, multilingual reading hours for kids and parents, tech trainings available, museum passes, assistance with small business startup and advice, financial literacy, build spaces, connection to housing services, food pick up sites, and veterans assistance. It provides INCREDIBLE benefits that may otherwise only be available from 5, 10, 15 different social service organizations. The closure of the library is a huge hit to our local social safety network.

      1. OTOH, my community college does all that and more, without also being daytime housing for the homeless. If there were a way to deal with the homeless clients are just there, people would come back to them. But our city center library is bedlam and probably dangerous for staff even before this. Our community college has its main campus several blocks away and because it has no large lounge areas and fairly secure buildings (to protect students / staff), does not seem to have the same issues with the homeless. I thought I’d go back to being a bigger library patron when I had kids, but they schedule things for kids only on weekdays during the day, with nothing for a working mom to do except check out books (and we are book people, not e-book people, so old-school).

        I’m all for helping the homeless, but there are so many subsets (mentally ill, substance abusers, physically ill, merely homeless) that they don’t need a library but targeted real resources. We regularly have people ODing in the library bathrooms and I’d never go in there; library staff has locked staff-only bathrooms.

        1. I’ve heard that indecent (trying to get past mod) harassment of librarians is a huge issue in the profession. Some are adamant that it’s part of what they signed up for help the least of these. Some feel traumatized and profoundly unprotected by policies and administration.

          To me it seems clear that we need more targeted and prepared refuges than libraries can or should provide, but I understand those may not always exist.

          1. But librarians signed up to be librarians. Not under-resources social workers of last resort.

        2. Absolutely. More resources are desperately necessary. Shelters in my city kick people out at 7 am. They have to spend 12-14 hours figuring out somewhere to go. Day centers may or may not be available, may or may not be safe and often don’t have the services the library does (including computer access). We need a significantly stronger social service system and better responses to homelessness, but for now the library has to fill in and, at least in my city, they do the best they can. But the libraries in the higher income neighborhoods and county libraries in rural areas with less of a homelessness issue still provide those incredible services to families, refugees, students and others and so they’re necessary.

          But I know where you’re coming from- it’s not relaxing to be in our central library now because it does act as the gathering place for so many who need somewhere safe and warm, but who have such high needs that they really need a dedicated space that isn’t the library.

  6. Looking for some book recommendations for a bright, young teen.

    She is almost 14 and was a voracious reader until starting high school this year. Like, she used to be reading 5 books at a time and it was her favorite activity. She read all of the fantasy/science fiction series, all the traditional kid classics, Ray Bradbury/Asimov etc… But this year she basically stopped reading for fun and mostly watches Youtube videos etc.. instead. And her mood is really dropping with the quarantine, as even her school work as almost disappeared. Lots of time to fill.

    Anyway, I would love to send her a book or two. Maybe she’ll start reading again… I try to do little things for her each week. Her parent is a single parent, and is overwhelmed right now.

    I have debated trying a completely different escapist type angle…. like Agatha Christie mysteries or ?Kurt Vonnegut or ??? Or maybe something new and unique that might grab the attention of a precious 13 year old who tends towards anxiety?

    1. I would not give her freaking Kurt Vonnegut in this situation. Come on, she’s 13! Give her fun books to read that aren’t about chaos/war/the downfall of society. There are tons of YA series out there that are age-appropriate and entertaining with some romance mixed in. Definitely no dystopian society books. But, I say this as a huge reader, sometimes life is overwhelming and all you can handle is a dumb youtube video. I haven’t really been able to focus much on reading these days.

      1. You are so right.

        She has read lots of the dystopian series, but yes… not a great direction right now.

        Thank you everyone for your wonderful ideas.

    2. My favorite book at that age was A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. The Flavia de Luce mysteries might appeal to her. On Dinner: A Love Story, she catalogued books her daughter recommends–that might be a good jumping off point.

    3. I read a lot as a kid (still do!) and like series because I read so fast. Maybe get her hooked on a few? Gemma Doyle Trilogy, Pendragon, Lunar Chronicles (read this as an adult and loved it). I also read really girly series, but not sure if it’s appropriate to have them gifted to a friend’s daughter because the characters in them are very unrealistic, but I loved them in high school (Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars – Sara Shepard had a lot of good series)

    4. When you say “all science fiction/fantasy” does that include Tamora Pierce? I LOVED her books when I was in high school and still return to them now. The characters, especially in the Tortall-based books, revolve around really dynamic female characters. I would recommend starting with the Lioness or Protector of the Small Quartets. But if she loves animals, definitely go with the Immortals Quartet first :)

      1. I second this, though I would start with Lioness quarter and then do Immortals since that’s how they go chronologically. And I realize I recommend these all the time, but other favorite fantasy/sci-fi books or series that work for that age: Sherwood Smith’s Crown Duel, Diane Duane’s Young Wizardry series, anything by Brandon Sanderson (but for teenagers, Skyward and Starsight (which are part of a series that isn’t done yet) and The Reckoners trilogy would probably be best. Skyward and Starsight have a female protagonist).

        1. Oh, and a plug for a friend’s books: The Only Thing to Fear, Live in Infamy, and The Darkest Hour. Alternate histories, and The Only Thing to Fear and Live in Infamy have sci-fi elements.

      2. What is she watching on YouTube? Could you find books based on that interest? When my now older teen was that age, he loved business books. Freakonomics, Malcolm Gladwell, etc. 13-14 is an age where many kids develop curiosity about the bigger world and “adult” topics. For our kid, that meant interest in Econ and business.

      3. I’d also HIGHLY recommend the Abhorsen books by Garth Nix, the Tiffany Aching series by Terry Pratchett (very strong morals and life lessons but done cleverly) the Katherine Arden winter of the witch series, and the ‘Girl who Circumnavigated Fairyland’ series. All wonderful and NOT dystopias (or, if they are, they get fixed)

        2. +1 to the Garth Nix series. So good – I read them in my 20s but it would be so good as a teen girl to read about another young girl who has to save the world (and does) with the aid of nothing more than a cool talking black cat.

    5. I can feel the love you have for this girl in your post. She’s lucky to have you in her life.

      One thing I’ve done with family lately is let them know that I’m eager to support a local, independent bookstore, and I ask them to let me send them books from the store. This has opened up new conversations with my aunts, dad, and young nephew. It sounds like the best gift you can offer — if she’ll accept it — is a dialog with you. Good luck!

    6. Counterpoint that I LOVED Agatha Christie at that age/a little younger actually – it was kind of escapist now that I think about it. It was such a vivid and different world.

    7. You said she’s read “all” the fantasy/science fiction series. Has she read Leigh Bardugo’s Grishaverse books (Shadow and Bone trilogy and Six of Crows),? The Lunar Chronicles series? Naomi Novick’s books (Spinning Silver was popular)?

      I was in high school when I discovered magical realism. The House of the Spirits and Love in the Time of Cholera were favorites at the time.

      1. She may have already read them if she’s into sci-fi, but the Ender’s Game series (and Ender’s Shadow series) by Orson Scott Card are incredible. I read Ender’s Game as a teen and was enthralled.

      2. Another comment to add to this. I don’t know what “all” includes in this genre, but if she hasn’t read (maybe some lesser known?? not sure) series, the Daughter of Smoke and Bone series and the Chaos Walking series are both pretty good.

    8. Lois McMaster bujold – the vorkosigan saga! Great story-driven, theres a *ton* of books in the series.

      As an alternative – does she have an Ebook reader? Can be hard to get books right now and she might enjoy being able to download and read without her family seeing the cover. I was around that age when I started wanting more romance/smut lol and would have been mortified if my parents saw. She can also hook a kobo up to the local public library and download tons of books if she needs a free way to try out new ones.

      1. Or even just her phone, if she has it. The Libby app is fantastic. She is also old enough for her own personal library card, so that might be a way you can help.

    9. Would she do book/tv show combos? What about Handmaid’s Tale or Alias Grace? (They are very adult, but I think a 14 year old could handle them). There is also the No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series of books that I think was turned into a show by HBO.

      Would she want to learn a new hobby? I learnt to knit around that age. Or would a Coursera type course be of interest to her? (A lot are free at the moment and some are geared to high school). Or maybe she can tell you’re feeling overwhelmed and she wants to help but doesn’t know what to do to help because she in that not a kid but not an adult point of life. Could you sit and just talk about that? Maybe she could meal plan or do laundry or light cleaning so she felt like she was contributing?

    10. Give her fun books! Check out Reese Witherspoon’s book club and buy a few of them. Little Fires Everywhere was great or Gone Girl

    11. I was that kid. I read a ton, and at some point in high school I stopped reading for fun. I’ve been trying to get back into it.
      Maureen Johnson is an excellent young adult author, I read her stuff all the time in middle and high school. I actually picked up Truly Devious, her newest series, a couple weeks ago and finished all 3 books in a few days. It was fantastic. Really engaging and fast paced mystery series, so I’d suggest that or any of her other books.

    12. I liked Agatha Christie at that age. I remember I was just walking along the shelves in library and picked random books. Just for the variety. I also read Memoirs of Geisha at that time and the depiction of Japan and their traditions was fascinating. If she likes fantasy, she might like The Witcher (pc game and Tv series on Netflix is based on the book). In general, I liked books that were set in foreign countries – may be nice to travel at least virtually these days…

    14. I read something recently (maybe even here?!?) about someone who read a lot as a teen but not so much as an adult. They finally realized that as they were maturing their opinions and world views were maturing, and the same genres they used to enjoy just fell flat. That’s not to say that adults don’t enjoy fantasy/sci-fi, or even that she doesn’t still enjoy it, but maybe a new genre will appeal to her for now.

      Agatha Christie is a great idea, or Dorothy Sayers’ “Gaudy Night.” Jim Butcher’s Harry Dresden series is a lot of fun, too.

    15. Perhaps she might like Peter Tremayne’s books, which combine history with mysteries . . . all of mine so far have been excellent reads. Good luck and happy reading!

    16. I actually think Vonnegut is a great choice. His books are totally readable, and they made me feel very cool. I know that’s silly, but it’s important at that age.

    17. Retired middle school language arts teacher here. I recommend I Capture the Castle and Gone with the Wind. Trust me.

      1. I Capture the Castle is great!

        If you’re gonna do an epic, I would opt for Count of Monte Christo – I LOVED it as a young teen. And if she likes fantasy stuff, it has enough of those elements to keep her bus. Just get the unabridged version (Penguin Classics is a good one).

    18. I was the exact teen that ate up Agatha Christie and Kurt Vonnegut at that age! Also loved Stephen King, although that might be too dark right now (my favorite book at that age was The Stand—the extended version even). Something lighter and fantasyish would be the Discworld series, which I adored at that age too. I think I skipped the Tiffany Achtung books and went straight to Discworld.

    19. +1 for Tamora Pierce. These are not young adult authors, but I graduated from Tamora Pierce (okay, I still read her – didn’t really graduate) to Patricia Briggs particularly Mercy Thompson and Alpha and Omega. Werewolves and vampires and some is dark, but the character development is very good. I also like Ilona Andrews Kate Daniels series… but that’s kind of a dystopian series. (What if magic came back and tech didn’t work all the time? What if there were waves of tech and magic? What if you were a mercenary taking care of magical hazmat and dating a sexy were-lion?) As a teen, I also liked Anne McCaffrey but some of her gender attitudes seem dated to me now. But… telepathic dragons! +1 on Ender’s Game too. +1 Watership Down

    20. I loved Agatha Christie at 13. Classic detective fiction has this great feature that everything is sorted at the end. The murderer is found, pleasant living can continue. Very hopeful and safe.

      If you want specific titles, maybe something like Cat among the Pidgeons – which is set at a girl’s boarding school with characters her age but worlds apart. Or maybe something classic like 4.50 from Paddington – a great Miss Marple.

      But I’d really like to recommend P.G. Wodehouse. Funny, clever and low-stakes problems. Very lovely escapism. I think the Blandings Castle books would be great, for example Something Fresh.

    21. I’m going to give another angle here – what about supporting a new hobby that makes something tangible? Knitting, pottery, drawings/painting, photography, even a somewhat cheesy craft kit (personally, I’ve found doing a mandala kit I picked from B&N ages ago very calming these days)? I wouldn’t be surprised if the added mental stress of being shut in because of the pandemic is causing her to lose even more interest in reading. And I wouldn’t want to push her into thinking that she *should* read again. Let her come back to books naturally. Give her another outlet where she can mentally escape. It doesn’t have to be books or tv. Maybe encourage her to write her own novel?

  7. I missed the morning positivity thread today, so why not start another for the weekend?
    I’m succeeding better than expected with a new garden. BIL identified my mystery hedge, and it started blooming :). DH and I built garden beds by recycling found materials. And a few eggplant and tomato seeds have popped out of their little pots in the window!

    1. I signed up for a 4 week online certification that I need for my job! I’m so nervous about the time commitment (only 4 hours a day, but I have two kids at home), but I’ve been meaning to do it and this allows me to not have to travel to take the course. I’m excited to learn new things and have something to look forward to.

    2. I’m so conditioned to read about gardening here and think about the … other gardening that your post was initially very intriguing to me.

      We’re starting from seeds this year (mail ordered) rather than buying trays of plants from the store. It is fun to track the tiny little leaves!

      1. Yeah I was like… mystery hedges? (I know nothing about actual gardening and next to nothing about real gardening.)

    3. I’m going to sound awful here. But I had been planning a conference for May that got cancelled awhile ago. I woke up this morning thinking what a huge relief it is not to have to do any of that. And marveling at all of the other projects I’ve been able to bang out without this over my head. I had put in a ton of effort to hold an amazing event and was going to have some prominent speaking exposure and get to work with someone who is a professional idol of mine who had agreed to speak. I had been felling really disappointed. But I have to say, with the time I’ve had now to sit with things, I’ve come to realize I’m like a kid that got a snow day. I won’t tell anyone this in real life. But thank heavens I’m off the hook. I can’t even tell you the amount of fear I had on pulling it all off.

      Here’s hoping others of you got similar reprieve in some big way as well!

      1. I feel this. My work has changed a lot (very very busy right now) but I was dreading 2020 due to an intense travel schedule for work. I feel a little guilty that I’m so relieved to be in my flat, working 16 hour days, instead of traveling.

      2. I had been planning a huge fundraiser for a non-profit organization that was to be held May 2 and I’m secretly relieved I don’t have to do it. (This organization is five weeks without the funds and management agreed we did not need to do anything online.)

        1. Ugh. Organization is fine without the funds. Don’t know where “five weeks” snuck in.

    4. I won my appeal!

      The decision came down on Monday, but we got it yesterday. I’ve been working on the issue for years, I wrote dozens of motions on dozens of cases and I was trusted with writing the appeal. I must have reread it a hundred times.

      I argued it in March, before three judges in downtown Manhattan, and nearly threw up because I was so nervous. Their questions were tough and it didn’t look good. But we won and I even recognized the language from my brief in the decision. So, yay!

  8. So anxious that my red state is starting to reopen next week even though we have a huge lack of testing and the number of cases is increasing daily. I understand that businesses are struggling, but even if restaurants do open, it’s not like i or anyone i know feels safe going

      1. Not the OP, but I just saw a headline that Tennessee is reopening. (Didn’t read the article.)

      2. Opening Texas is also trending. Didn’t read it — all I saw as all retailers can be opened as “to go” on April 24. IDK what that means, aren’t malls essentially “to go” — I mean you walk around, buy your sweater and leave? How is this even happening? Wasn’t there the “gating” function that Birx discussed last night — your cases have to be going down for 14 straight days to even consider a reopening? IDK if Texas has even peaked yet — Virginia certainly hasn’t and the southern states are even later. Though I guess those are just “guidelines” and states can do what they please so it’ll be a politics thing.

        1. Haven’t read the details my quick read on Texas was “to go” means everything has to be car side . So yeah the sporting goods stores and electronics stores will re open but you don’t get to browse to find the perfect tennis racket or headphones; you buy them online and drive to the store to pick them up where they (I think) need to be brought out to you. I’m in Virginia and businesses are doing this; it’s for the safety of their employees as well — they need a barebones staff inside to pull things off shelves and then come put them in your trunk but they aren’t being exposed to customers — just their coworkers. The few retail places doing this are big box stores so even the coworkers can be in very different parts of the store.

        2. Other than schools, Texas has been closing locality by locality and county by county. Even if the Governor “opens it up” unless he orders stay at home orders to be rescinded (and there are few here, even Houston is at a “stay at home” order and the essential businesses are still all running) on a local level, things won’t change. The state is so big it only makes sense to do it city by city.

        3. I’m a little confused by this peaking thing. I’ve been hearing since forever that Texas was about to hit its peak and then we haven’t, and the peak gets pushed further out. But isn’t that a good thing? That means we’ve flattened the curve, which was the goal. But then they use the fact that the peak keeps getting pushed back as a reason to keep justifying quarantining. So then aren’t we just going to quarantine forever if we never reach the peak?

          1. you are completely right that the peak moving farther out is a mathematical consequence of successful flattening. But that doesn’t mean that extreme isolation is our only available tool to flatten the curve. Some tools we’ve known all along, but had to buy time to get them into place: more hospital beds, vents, PPE, disinfectant, all of which are being ramped up. Then there is contact tracing which could be hugely helpful, but it only works together with more testing. So staying at home buys valuable time to work on these.
            Other tools need to be developed, and for that we are buying time also: a potential vaccine, potential treatment drugs, preventative drugs, respiratory therapies, plasma transfusion of reconvalescents. A lot is happening on these fronts while we’re at home. This will all equip us to deal with new spread when we relax restrictions.

          2. Yes. This is what’s happening in Va. and the DC region generally. The stay home orders went into effect early and people complied fairly well (and more importantly businesses switched to work from home often before it was even required), so the peak keeps getting pushed further and further. The earliest peak I’ve seen for Va is in 2 weeks but there are models putting it well into June or even July. It’s a good thing as the poster above says — it buys a lot of time for readiness; I mean there’s a lot more PPE rolling off the lines now than there was 3 weeks ago and testing continues to improve. But you’re also right that if the goal is to not reopen at all before the peak (which makes sense), this drags on and on here in a way it doesn’t in states that went thru the peak quick.

    2. I would recommend actually reading the articles. Texas is “re-opening” but by that they mean parks will be open (already the case in a lot of blue and red states) and retail stores can be “to-go”. They’re saying they won’t even announce additional reopening measures until April 27th.

      1. Seriously. I was really hoping it would be more, honestly. I was hoping he would open hair dressers.

        1. Hair stylists will probably be in the later stages of reopening, not the beginning. By definition, the job entails very close contact with a series of different people throughout the day.

        2. Virginia salons can reopen May 8th!! Limited to ten people inside, though, so limited scheduling, but still! Our nonessential businesses haven’t been closed, just limited to 10 people or fewer. One of my fave antique stores sent out a video today of all of its booths – it was like a virtual shopping trip! I think I’ll definitely stop in with a mask on.

          2. I’m in Va. Really ugh that’s kind of terrible. I get it people need their beauty treatments, but this isn’t about the number of people in the shop, it’s about the fact that someone is touching someone else’s head for 20+ minutes and in so doing breathing right on them; even with masks, I highly doubt salon workers or customers have N95s so they’re breathing on each other thru porous paper or cloth masks. I feel a lot safer with retail stores being open than salons. Not that it’s necessary but at a bookstore or clothing store or whatever, you can order online and do curbside pick up; or even if you have to walk in to pick up they can do it like grocery shopping and limit the # of customers, make you stand far from registers etc. No way to get that kind of distance with someone cutting your hair or waxing your face.

        3. Think about it. Hairdresser. Prolonged close contact. You didn’t really think this was going to be one of the first things open, I hope.

          1. Do you try to be snarky or downright on every single comment you post, or is it just the way you are?

  9. Totally frivolous, but I started tretinoin a few weeks ago for wrinkles/general skin improvement and it’s amazing! I’m in my mid-30s. Anyone have experience with long-term tretinoin use?

    1. I’ve used it for 4-5 years now (though only 2-3 times a week because I forget and am lazy) – so far so good

    2. Oooh, please tell me more. I have no idea. Is it a cream, pill? Cost? Side effects?

      Thanks so much!

      1. It’s a cream. It does have side effects, it causes a lot of peeling when you first start to use it. I dilute mine with regular face lotion. It’s prescription only and I think I paid maybe $30-50 for a tube? I really can’t remember. But it’s lasted for a very long time because you use only a small amount at a time.

      2. OP here—I mistyped—I should have said I started a few months ago.

        I pay about $40 every few months through Curology. Getting a prescription from a practitioner I’ve never even talked to via internet feels sketchy. But, the price is much better than going to my derm for something insurance won’t cover.

    3. I use it for acne, combined with another ingredient, and it’s sold as Tactupump here (formerly Tactuo). Really notice how much dead skin it sloughs off, which helps with the hormonal acne! Be careful and diligent about sunscreen use with this product.

    4. It’s aka Retin-A. $100 at my Costco pharmacy. Insurance doesn’t cover unless medically needed for teens and adults with certain conditions. I’ve been using it in spurts for about a year. It makes my skin smooth, though you have to work really hard to combat dryness.

      1. Mine is covered by insurance and I pay $10 for a tube that last 3ish months. Ask your derm to bill it as acne treatment rather than anti-aging.

        1. Well, that is fraud if you do not have acne as a diagnosis. Please don’t ask your doctor to commit fraud for you. So you can save like… $90. You are asking me to help pay for your wrinkle treatments, since my premiums go up when you spend more health care dollars.

  10. Since we’re all home so much these days, name one feature you love about your house and one thing you dislike. (Or if you want to name more, name in equal numbers!)

    Love: Deck; yard
    Dislike: The noisy attic fan we can’t control; the crappy washer and dryer

    1. Love: our sunroom when it isn’t too messy, the big tv we just put in the bedroom
      Hate: the weird fan the furnace makes, and the multiple projects we probably won’t get to for a few years now (laundry room, master bath reno, powder room design).

    2. I’ll play!

      Love: My giant, giant yard and my patio.

      Dislike: Very uneven heating and cooling. One part of the house is freezing while the other part is too hot. It really needs to be zoned.

    3. I live in a tiny apartment.

      Love: hardwood floors and that I have a bathtub, and the very central location.
      Hate: the ancient steam heat radiators that I’m guessing are about as old as the building (over 100 years old). I can’t control the temperature and in the winter my apartment is roasting. I have to keep the windows open and fan on all winter and it regularly gets down to -30 here. I wake up sweating. It’s horrible.

    4. Love: before — location; very walkable to bars, restaurants, transit; now — expensive ‘hood walkable to nothing :(
      Hate: not self-cleaning; full of people WFH and making messes

    5. Love: Floor to ceiling windows along a long side of our unit.
      Hate: HVAC noise we cannot further reduce (even as we are grateful to have HVAC)

    6. Love: The siting of my house. It’s sunny and cheerful.
      Hate: Every single leaf blower and edger in my ‘hood. I live in hopes that burglars steal them.

        1. The people who own leaf blowers and spend an hour shifting the pollen around their 1/4 acre lot are the same ones who buy generators and run them all night long when a hurricane knocks the power out for a week. Grumble. Grumble.

        2. We have rock landscaping. You can’t rake it to get the leaves out (unless you want to rake up all the rocks and then have to replace them), you have to use a blower. Everyone in my neighborhood has one. Not every place on Earth is the Northeast where everyone has a lawn.

      2. The mayor of my town prohibited leaf blowers because he thought it would spread covid. Pretty sure that’s not really a factor, but I do appreciate the quiet!

    7. Love- deck and backyard. All three of us have our own room for work/school (home offices, playroom). It has made things much more bearable.
      Dislike- I’d love a drop zone or mudroom off the garage coming into the kitchen. We have the space on paper, but it would require a decent amount of renovation.

    8. Love: I’m 14 floors up and get great light no matter what time of day it is and have a great view out above the rest of my city!
      Hate: I’m in a studio, so I’m everywhere in my apartment at once.

    9. Love: Really big kitchen that opens to the family room
      Hate: Family room and kitchen tend to be dark

    10. Having a house instead of apartment is a huge love right now. We have had endless issues with our house and were regretting not buying an apartment or condo, but having a basement and a fenced in yard sparks a lot of freaking joy this past month.
      Hate: my fenced in yard is 90% weeds. And while I have grass seeds in the garage it is snowing so I can’t plant any!

    11. Love: Sunroom. Also, pergola outside full of jasmine, which is blooming.
      Hate: Kitchen. I don’t know how someone designed a kitchen this terribly. And it’s closed off to the rest of the house.

    12. Love: tons of light + decorated with artwork that I’ve collected on my travels over the years
      Dislike: kitchen is a little outdated and I’ve been dragging my feet on renovating it for far too long

      1. Yes, I’ve been enjoying my art like never before. I always spend a good amount of time at home, but I must be doing so more mindfully now?

    13. Love: the look of it – uncluttered to the point of looking undone or in decorated to some people; and it has a couple of giant houseplants I inherited from my mother (one of which she inherited from someone when I was a child – that thing has got to be no less than 60 to 70 years old now).
      Hate with the heat of a thousand burning suns: the open-ish floor plan in which only bedrooms, bathrooms, closets, the laundry, and the out of doors have actual doors and everything else is just a big arched opening. A television on anywhere in the house, or a phone call anywhere in the house, can be heard quite well everywhere in the house, even in a closet with the door shut.
      Bonus: wasn’t sure how husband and I would be occupying the same space nearly all the time, and it turns out that the answer is “absolutely fine” 99.99% of the time so far.

      1. Love: I’m in an apartment on a high floor and adore my balcony (though the view isn’t anything special).
        Hate: The elephants who live upstairs and who have a creaky bedframe.

    14. Love: Sunlight!
      Hate: I don’t really hate anything about my place right now, but two adults working from home with two pets in <600 sq ft is definitely on the cozy side of things.

      1. (Especially when there are two conference calls happening at once, and we’re sending “do you have to yell?” texts from the kitchen table to the sofa.)

    15. Love – the amount of light we get, our front porch and the landscaping we’ve done to the front and backyards.

      Dislike and want to change – turn lower level screened in porch into fourth bedroom. We just don’t use the porch because it’s sort of out of the way and not a “natural” place to go to in the house if that makes sense. We are a family of three and extended family is local, so we don’t *need* a fourth bedroom, but after living in this house for two years, It would be a better use of space (and it’s steps away from our 3rd full bathroom, so the house would be a 4 bed 3 full bath, making the bed/bath ratio still work well for resale purposes).

    16. Love: My kitchen with ample counter space
      Hate: That it’s a duplex so there isn’t a ton of natural light

    17. Love: disproportionately large kitchen, sectional with chaises
      Hate: daytime noise – there is construction nearby, but also had no idea how loud my neighbors are during the day (yelling, music, repetitive door slamming)

    18. Love: Deck, indoor finishes, all the sunlight I get (when it’s not raining)
      Hate: Copper sink (sooooo freaking hard to keep clean!), the small, poorly lit bathroom

    19. Love: neighborhood, spacious for NYC (especially the kitchen!), hardwood floors
      Hate: lack of natural light, view of back of another building

    20. Love my workout room
      Hate my noisy neighbors who are still inviting people over for pool parties and BBQs

    21. Love:
      The light streaming in through my south facing windows;
      Dog door;
      Living in a neighborhood with a lot of architectural variety, small yards, and tiny blocks (makes the evening walks much more interesting).

      Hate:
      Just having one bathroom (a longstanding complaint but absolutely awful when my SO got sick and we were trying to quarantine in separate areas of our 700 square feet of very open living space);
      Not having any good spots for video calls, again because 700 square feet and open floor plan (yes, boss, that is my sink of dirty dishes/boyfriend’s Star Wars Lego collection/a painting of the Loch Ness Monster/my doorless closet in the background… meanwhile all my coworkers in the suburbs seem to have dedicated offices with bookshelves lined with old law school books they can professionally sit in front of);
      The color of my walls (both because they’re indecipherable from the color of my flesh for purposes of Zoom backgrounds [apparently I’m so pale I’m “Alabaster”] and also because the beige is becoming oppressive)

    22. Fun!

      Love: all of the natural light and being one-story, having a garage, and the huge fenced in yard for the pups.

      Dislike: the shortcuts the flippers took, the tiny sinks in the kitchen and the full bathroom, and the room I use as my bedroom not having heat or a/c.

    24. I’m in love with my house and have always been. The stuff that other people wouldn’t love are things that i accept – slightly sloping floor in the kitchen, slightly crooked windows in the library. We bought a 1909 fixer upper and have been fixing it up since 2003. It’s a labor of love for us, but other people probably think we are nuts.

      Things it doesn’t have: family room, eat-in kitchen, open floor plan, large closets, enough closets!, a design that opens to the back yard, a sink in the downstairs powder room… and all of the other things an old house wouldn’t have like state of the art wiring, integrated hvac, etc

      What it does have: original wainscoating, paned windows, dark wood everywhere, high ceilings, a library, a formal dining room, a very large living room, large bedrooms, a huge pantry, a Butler’s staircase, a built in china cabinet, deep yard, and a sleeping porch (most would call this a sunroom but this was not it’s original intent.)

      It’s a great old house but you have to be really into old houses to appreciate it. The last thing I would ever do is, say, tear out the butler’s staircase in order to make an eat-in kitchen, or tear down all the walls separating the downstairs areas to make an open floor plan. It’s just not that kind of a house, and it’s not meant to be.

      I just counted the interior doors and there are 9 just on the ground floor. There were originally more but you can see where prior owners took down doors. There would be a total of 11 if they hadn’t! I think this was because it was difficult to heat this much space in the early 1900s.

      2. I’ve seen several memes going around about open floor plan regrets in quarantine, and there’s something to it!

    25. I love our 1830s place: the warm, heart pine floors, original wavy glass windows, winding stairs, the lack of standardization that gives it character, fireplaces in most of the rooms, finding cool artifacts in the house (when we redid the master bedroom, we uncovered original siding and kept it as a feature). All the attic beams and shutters were numbered with Roman numerals by the original builderI I love all the wildlife our pond attracts, and the fact that we can (and do) keep goats and chickens.

      Dislike: the *massive* amount of maintenance much of which we do ourselves, the odd overall layout, lack of dining room, and lack of broadband internet.

      It’s a home and a hobby.

    26. Love: It has three bedrooms (tiny 1951 tract house and most have only two) even though it’s in a walkable part of LA. Kids can walk or bike to school, people are always walking past the house and we don’t have to jump in the car for everything (shopping, restaurants, movie theater, etc.).

      Hate: Because it is pretty old, it is really hard to keep clean/there is a level of new-construction cleanliness that can’t happen. My biggest regret is that I didn’t open a new credit card and spend the $ to refinish the wood floors when we bought in 2007.

      Neutral: We have one bathroom. People freak out when they hear this but honestly, it’s fine. The main thing is that no one in the house does anything other than showering, using the sink, or using the toilet in the bathroom. No doing hair, makeup, etc.

      My dream is to redo/flatten the garage and make it into a two-story guest house with storage on the bottom and an office/bedroom on the top.

    27. Love: The house layout, and yard in theory
      Hate: that we didn’t finish renovating before the pandemic, and our neighbors who block our use of the yard

  11. Anyone have any good cocktails to make at home? (Also, what bar supplies in general are you liking? A local liquor store will let you order by phone and put it in your trunk, so when we run out of gin/tequila we may add in some more bitters/grenadine/triple sec type stuff…)

    1. I have been preparing all quarantine for this question! What kind of liquor do you like? I have been making my way through the New York Times book of cocktails and can share recipes I’ve tried recently!
      Mixers we use a lot of: Angostura bitters, simple syrup (make your own 1:1 ratio of sugar to water), sweet and dry vermouth, fresh fruits: lots of lemon & lime, some grapefruit and orange juice, club soda/tonic water, cherries, olives
      Mixers we use frequently: Campari, Cointreau, Gran Marnier
      Less frequent: Courvoisier, Lillet, Aperol, Chartreuse, Absinthe, St Germain
      I have grenadine and triple sec and can’t tell you the last time we used them.

      2. Hehe. I use grenadine and triple sec lots!

        Clover club with grenadine (not raspberry!) is one of my favourites.

        I use triple sec or curacao whenever a citrus mixer is needed. I have Cointreau, but I prefer my citrus less orangey.

    2. I’ve bought a bunch of infused simple syrups to add to whiskey or tequila on the rocks or sparkling water if I’m not feeling like drinking to make it feel “fancy”.

    4. I’ve been enjoying making some spring/summery drinks:

      Caipirinhas – all you need is limes, sugar and Cachaça (which you can get from most specialty liquor stores.

      Pear Martinis – Absolut pear vodka, St. Germain, lime juice (or lemon juice) and a dash of bitters.

    5. I have been drinking a lot of Aperol sptrizes, and gin and Fever Tree lemon tonic with muddled raspberries.

    6. I’m currently sipping kahula, vodka and dairy free baileys with some almond milk. Yes, it is not quite 4 pm. Cheers y’all!

      2. Mmmmmm…..Baileys. The first drink I have once I am done being pregnant will be high octane (not decaf), strong coffee with a healthy pour of Baileys.

    7. The only hoarding I did as all this was busting loose was Tito’s vodka, tonic water, and citrus fruit. Gin and tonic is the classic, but I really recommend vodka and tonic with a generous squeeze of lemon, grapefruit, orange, or lime.

    8. Moscow mule! Vodka + ginger beer + plenty of lime juice. I also like to throw a splash of cranberry juice in there since we usually have it around.

    9. We generally like gin martinis and Old Fashioneds — Bees’ Knees if we’re feeling fancy.

    11. I have one of those AeroGardens that makes herbs grow like crazy (I have to seriously prune weekly or it overgrows!), so I have lots of fresh mint available. Last night I made a mojito–yum!
      Anyone else have favorite cocktails incorporating mint, basil, or thyme?

    13. Sidecars! Lemon juice, Cointreau (or other sweet orange liqueur) and Cognac(or brandy), shaken with ice and poured into a martini glass. I personally skip the sugared rim because it makes my fingers sticky, but you do you!

      1. How are you doing a sugared rim in a way that makes your fingers sticky? I pour sugar onto a small plate, shake the plate so it spreads out evenly, wet the rim of the glass, and invert the glass onto the sugar.

        1. Yes that is how I do a sugared rim too. But the condensation from the cold liquid in the glass eventually makes some of the sugar liquefy and coat the entire outside of the glass. I don’t down the drink like a shot so there’s enough time as I sip for that to happen.

          I don’t have a huge sweet tooth and I put enough Cointreau in the drink to make it the right level of not-sour without the sugared rim.

    14. Paper Planes: 1-2 oz each of bourbon, aperol, and Amaro Nonino (the hardest part to source), plus the juice from one or two lemons (the idea is equal parts all four but I go in terms of what’s easy to measure with the fewest tools and round numbers of lemons); shake with ice and serve up (or neat because I am too clumsy for up glasses at home).

  13. Is anyone else really struggling with their Trump-cult family members? I’m not talking about passive supporters, I’m talking about irrational support. My mother, who is normally a loving person, seems to not be doing well mentally. She and her husband own a small business that apparently did not get the PPP loan, so they laid off their small staff. I spent 20 minutes on the phone with her this morning and most of it was her ranting about Nancy Pelosi keeping “her money”. I swear this woman is smart normally. Part of it, I’m sure, is not interacting with anyone else for several weeks and also being cooped up with Fox News blaring all day. I just don’t know what to do and it pained me to listen to her vitriolic anger in a way I have never heard before.

    1. My FIL sent my husband some chain email about how Dr. Fauci is a member of the deep state who is trying to ruin Trump or something like that. My MIL (70+) is still going to work in a retail store every day, despite not needing the money at all. My mom also knows someone who has COVID-19 (actual positive test!) and is still going out in public. It’s crazy.

      1. I wish someone would tell these people that Fauci has had this job since 1984. So that means he was NIH head for Reagan and both HW and W Bush. Do they think he’s an Obama hire from 4 years ago? I mean I vividly remember watching his press briefings Ebola (which I realize was during Obama’s term) and have been awed by him since then, so this isn’t someone Obama installed on the way out the door.

    2. I’ve been struggling with them for much longer than the pandemic has been around, so … business as usual? This morning my usually level-headed MIL posted something about instituting a “Made in China” ban because China gave us the coronavirus and I just can’t even. I expect that sh!t from my FIL but not her.

      1. I mean I agree with your MIL there as much as I’m anti Trump and think his handling of this is a disaster. They DID give us and the world coronavirus. They DID hide the ball on that longer than they should have. They DID disallow other nations from coming in and helping — which is historically what is done so that the disease is contained where it starts rather than spreading across the world. There has to be some economic hardship to them for that. Governments won’t do it, though private sector will and consumers can. Private manufacturers over the years HAVE shifted manufacturing out of China into Vietnam etc. especially for textiles, and I honestly look for that shift to happen for auto parts and machinery as well, given that Wuhan is the center of auto parts manufacturing for the world. So yeah I myself am not going to looking to buy “made in China” though I’m a buy American esp for expensive durable goods like furniture kind of person anyway.

        1. Agree. China also engages in slavery, whoops, “reeducation camps” for “job skills” and to “reduce radicalism.” Not sure how many stories we need to hear about doctors and architects being dragged from their homes, imprisoned in a factory, and made to sew textiles, but I do not buy items made in China if at all possible.

          1. Yes!!! We cannot say never again and then continue to turn a blind eye to the Uighurs!!!

            The close ties that we maintain with China, Saudi Arabia, etc baffles and deeply upsets me. I’m anti China, but that’s due to their horrible human rights record more than anything.

          2. I understand being upset, but if you’re baffled, you may need to learn more about human rights in the US.

          3. I agree with the second Anon’s comments. I’m not Chinese, but I am another East Asian-American, and broad-based anti comments like these are offensive and insensitive. Especially when caucasian advanced and other emerging economies have equally bad or worse conditions. Some manufacturing firms in China have better working conditions and higher quality products than low-quality, supposedly superior American manufacturing.

          4. The ignorance in the comment at 6:31 pm is astonishing. We are talking about actual slavery and imprisonment, not overheated political rhetoric likening first-world conditions to slavery to browbeat people. You have no credibility. None.

        2. Same. I find that more and more clothing is made in Vietnam, Jordan, or India anyway so IDK that I really do much to avoid made in China clothing and honestly I don’t really care deeply if once a year I spend $60 on a pair of sneakers that came from China. What I do care about is expenses over a few hundred dollars. I want that money staying in America if at all possible — or at least keep it out of China — and that has nothing to do with a Trump presidency, I have always wanted that; I still remember the “buy American, keep Americans working” campaigns from 1990 when I was 10 and a lot of manufacturing was leaving the US. So I’m that person that’ll spend an extra $300 on a media stand made in North Carolina from real wood that’s meant to last generations, even if I could otherwise get one for $300 cheaper made in China sold at one of the regular furniture stores. I realize it’s a luxury but that’s how I choose to spend my money. Harder on electronics though I will say it isn’t hard to find TVs/music equipment made in Korea because of LG and Samsung.

          1. So not across all products but I think one factor to take into consideration is the labeling problem. A lot of companies have made in America labels but with components made in other countries, and a lot of foreign companies actually manufacture in America. I think it’s relevant to understand that the manufacturing issue is not as clear-cut as labels allow one to believe, especially for component-heavy products like autos or electronics that source from across a number of countries.

          2. I get it. There’s no way you’re buying a car even an American made one and finding that every part was made in America. Yet on the flip side a lot of the assembly of cars for brands like Nissan, Mazda etc. is actually done in the US even though they are Asian brands and the parts are not US made. You do what you can. With something like North Carolina furniture, it’s easy to know it’s all US made with US wood because it doesn’t have 1000s of parts. With something that involves 1000s of connectors and screws, no way of knowing where they are from. All I’m saying is that if there are options that are American and I know that a lot of the good will be American made even if not all of it, I’m going with that over a made in China good even if that’s assembled using some non Chinese parts.

    3. I have been pleasantly stunned to discover my Trump supporting mother…has moderated her views in the last six months or so!!! I don’t know what happened (three years of calm, thoughtful conversations on my part? Ha), but I am so here for it!!

      Though I did go visit an elderly neighbor who told me her cousin said the virus was made up by Democrats as a scheme to ruin the economy to ruin Trump and that it’s not a real thing at all – that it’s just the news in cahoots with actors to create footage. W.o.w.

    4. YES. I am stuck under stay-at-home with my mother and brother, both of whom are self-interested trump supporters. You know our poster who is always ‘oh the markets! Filling my swimming pool with stocks!’ – that is my mother. Say a prayer for my sanity.

      1. But what’s the self interest here? The finance types I know that have been self interested are along the lines of — boatloads of stock, tax breaks for the wealthy that they benefit from etc. — so things happening TO OTHER PEOPLE don’t matter whether it’s kids on the border or whoever. But this isn’t something that’s happening TO OTHER PEOPLE. It can happen to anyone and the lack of cures/vaccines etc apply to everyone; it’s not like a usual situation where a wealthy person can say NBD I have insurance, I’ll just seek out that $1000 treatment and be fine in 6 hours, and if others are uninsured, well they should’ve gone into biglaw or hedge funds like me. I would think this situation would turn people against Trump to some extent because it’s something that can affect anyone not just the undocumented or poor. I mean I guess there is some % like the people discussed above who think it’s all a hoax and it’s a fake virus/a cold, but really how many people can that be?

        1. The tune changes among my relatives but along the lines of

          1) it’s just a cold/flu
          2) not that many people have died
          3) the media is making too big of a deal of it
          4) they’re trying to curb our personal freedoms
          5) oh shit, now I know someone who has it. Please pray!
          6) trump is doing a great job and the media is biased against him!
          7) people can’t blame this on trump, it’s the Chinese

      2. I know plenty of people who vote for Democrats out of their own self-interest, namely, white-collar government workers who want a nice big bureaucracy to fund their nice cushy jobs and nice pensions that those of us in the private sector do not get. Then there are the plaintiff’s lawyers, the nonprofit groups, and the legions of higher ed administrators who all want the gravy trains to keep rolling, no matter how much the rest of us are over-regulated, over-taxed, and watching the few pennies we manage to save get sucked up by our children’s college savings accounts.

        Oh, sorry, but it’s only bad when Republicans do it. You’re all so tiresome.

        1. I’m confused. You’re angry about funding a college savings account for your own kids … because Democrats ??? What do you mean here?

    5. Staying with my parents now: My uncle is a rabid Chinese Virus-MAGA-WHO is deep state-this is all because of Barack HUSSEIN Obama-moron. My parents called my aunt for her birthday (also MAGA but less rabid and ridiculous) and my uncle got on the phone after they talked to her. My mom let him start off rambling about the virus, didn’t shut it down fast enough and….my dad and I left her to handle it. My advice is to shut that one down ASAP, don’t even engage. “I see…anyway, how’s the weather? Oh, climate change is a deep state Democrat hoax? Well, how about the grandkids? They’re becoming little devil Democrats? I see. Glad we caught up, bye!” Ad infinitum.

    6. I’m struggling. My father and his new lady friend listen to Fox News. I was visiting them and it was on and I walked out of the room; I will not stay in a place where that is being played. He then told me he voted for Trump in 2016. I was really upset. There is a part of me that wants to tell him that I consider it a betrayal of me, my husband (who is a healthcare provider) and our children if he votes for Trump this fall. I totally get being a conservative business-oriented Republican of the “old school” type — but those folks valued competency in government.

        1. No, it’s not remotely a news station. The amount of misinformation they have promulgated regarding COVID … get real. Are you familiar with any of the top journalism schools? I am, and their grads all laugh at Fox News.

    7. My parents are (blessedly) quiet for now on the Trumpian front, but I’m sure it’s going to come back. I’ve basically stopped talking to them about anything that’s actually political, because they can manage to take the statement that the weather is nice and turn it into, “well, goes to show that global warming isn’t happening!” My mom said some pretty bad things at the beginning, but she’s been better in recent weeks.

      To be honest, I’ve disagreed with my parents’ politics since about 1996, so I’ve had a lot of practice (and therapy!) but Fox “News” made it a lot worse because they can consume hours of content designed to make them terrified of everyone and everything.

  14. What’s your favorite stuff from Sephora, and/or what are you going to be picking up from the spring sale?

    2. I like their house brand makeup sponges, and I use the sale to replace worn brushes. I also like their sunscreen kit, the sample sizes are great for travel and the gym.

    3. Dr Jart premium BB cream
      Laura Mercier sheer lipstick
      Sunday Riley Good Genes
      Herbivore Emerald CBD oil
      Sephora brand brush cleaner spray
      NARS orgasm blush

  15. What was the link to the documentary about being a homemaker in the olden times? I remember a recommendation here a few months (?) ago, but can’t find the right search terms to find the comment.

    1. Not sure of that specific one, but If Walls Could Talk – History of the Home is pretty fascinating.

  16. Today I am just tired of cooking. When I was single, a meal could be a yogurt or cheese and crackers. I was a big grazer. I have two kids, neither of able to make more than their own breakfast (and having a tiny galley kitchen isn’t conducive to helping them learn more at the moment; we had a cooking camp on deck for the summer and a cooking merit badge for a scout camping trip). It has been important to me to have good actual balanced meals at home generally. But after >1 month of WFH FT and home schooling and cooking, I am just sick of it. I am converting to #TeamTakeout at least for a bunch of the weekday dinners (lunches seem easier; lunch + dinner is just disruptive to my work schedule). Husband isn’t able to pitch in much b/c he is perpetually on active calls and is a LOUD talker, so he needs to be in a separate quiet workspace or I can’t think (I also wish we had > 900 sq feet; sometimes I do calls from my parked car if the kids are zooming and spouse is zooming at the same time).

    1. I hear you. Can you do things like a baked egg casserole that you can have for several days?

      We had a turkey breast and made turkey, stuffing and gravy (as if it were Thanksgiving). It was great to have the turkey over several days and not have to deal with cooking!

    2. I don’t know if your area has this option, but some of the caterers that my firm uses regularly are doing amazing, healthy, simple “dinners for 4” that are really affordable. They have a new menu each week. I’m in a city in the southeast and it’s about $30 per meal that generously serves 4. We have been ordering regularly. Can you check some local caterers to see if they have this option? Last week they even had sandwich kits that came with meats, bread, fancy mayo, etc. Its been wonderful.

      1. Or some local restaurants? I am in the DC areas and some local restaurants are doing the same. Pick up the pre-made food and stick it in the oven. Salad dressing for the bagged lettuce. Dinner is done. Plus we had leftovers!

    3. No guilt, your local restaurants will appreciate the take out business. We have one that does rotisserie chickens with sides.

  17. JD ‘Rettes: I need to draft a contract with the athleisure in my drawers. Today, *my yoga pants are tight.* Sure, I’ve been going easy on myself and self care, and WFH+kids = relaxed standards+ mental health. But, yeah. THE YOGA PANTS ARE TIGHT. For the record, I am not drafting any contracts with the wool trousers in my closet. We have no ongoing relationship right now that would merit any kind of agreement.

    So, I, My Self, declare in front of all you (anonymous) witnesses:
    1. alcohol consumption reduction by about 50%. No more wine with dinner AND the fun cocktail with the liquor and juice and simply syrup because fun! and #crisis cocktails, or hey, no tropical vacay but we have ginger beer and rum!. Either wine or a straight bourbon during the week. And no afternoon beer on the weekends. (But ok to a wine and a cocktail on Friday.)
    2. WFH is still work, so back to snacking like I do at work. One cheesestick, on granola bar. Thatsit.
    3. Keep working out 5 days a week, even if half-assed. [Footnote: Congrats to Self for keeping to that schedule during this crisis!]
    4. In reference to item 3: I agree to eliminate the use of jelly beans as pre-run snacks. It was initially a ‘eat them to save the children from all the excess Easter sugar.’ Confession under duress: And then I went and bought another bag after Easter. For running.

    In return, Yoga Pants agree to fit, barring unforeseen laundry disasters.

    Note to Counsel for My Self: actually, I really do run faster and farther on the jelly beans. Can we make 4 optional, under the exigent circumstances that I actually don’t like running?

    Note to Counsel for Yoga Pants: Seriously dude? Self is only on a program to get faster for a 3 mile run. She needs no jelly beans for 3 miles.

    4. “Note to Counsel for My Self: actually, I really do run faster and farther on the jelly beans. Can we make 4 optional, under the exigent circumstances that I actually don’t like running?”

      My client should not accept those terms. A limited number of pre-run jelly beans make the experience more enjoyable, and client is more likely to run if she has jelly beans to motivate her. However, jelly beans must be limited to one (1) serving and eaten within thirty (30) minutes of commencement of run.

    5. Best thing I’ve read on here in ages!! Aces!! Thanks for the weekend laugh

  18. I need shorts recommendations. I’m an apple shape with skinny legs, so high-waist/paper bag styles don’t work. Don’t want to spend a ton of $$$ as these are purely weekend wear for me. I have three kids and we spend a lot of time outside in the summer. Any suggestions?

    1. Take a look at the drawstring ‘linen’ shorts at JCrew Factory. My mom who is similarly shaped gets them for running around the house and they’re super cute on her.

  19. Happy weekend, everyone!
    This is a question for the legal ladies in the group. I’m temporarily at my family’s house during this pandemic, and it’s a residential neighborhood. Nearby, they’ve chosen this particular when everyone is stuck at home to start construction nearby, and it’s constant noise all day every day. Are there any legal restrictions on noise ordinances from construction in residential areas? Normally when I’m home in NYC, I file complaints through the prescribed channels, but this isn’t my home or my town, so I don’t want to cause any issues, but the noise is driving me crazy. Thank you for any suggestions you can offer.
    Enjoy a lovely weekend!

    1. I’m not a lawyer, but every place I’ve ever lived has had a noise ordinance. Where you are should have one unless it’s really rural. For construction, my town has “Can’t start before 7a.m., must end by 8p.m.” rule or something similar. I’ve never seen one that limited the decibels or the length of noise – like construction can’t occur more than 8 days in a row. Construction is going to happen. These ordinances are almost always available by googling the name of the city/town/county and “noise ordinance”.

      1. Thank you for the reply, but while I am familiar with some legal terms, I don’t know and can’t stand legal matters. I did a Google search but couldn’t find a straightforward answer, though there were some that had decibel limits. The thing is, who’s going to measure that (not me, especially on a weekend day). This is a rural area outside of a small city in middle of nowhere Virginia, so I have no idea what the deal is. But it’s been weeks since these people have been making excessive noise, and I’m so fed up, especially under these conditions. Everyone understands that construction happens, but careless idiots that do it during a period of quarantine right next to a residential area is going to encounter issues.

        1. It’s not really a legal matter. But if you’re in a really rural area, there may not be a noise ordinance. And I’ve never heard of a city that would regulate construction noise, except at night. Not the answer you wanted.

          But most complaints go through the police/sheriff so you could call but I doubt they will do anything.

        1. Also be aware that no city/township/whatever cares the least bit about a complaint from someone who’s a non-resident. So have the homeowners do it if they want, and if they can’t be bothered then there’s really nothing you can do there.

    4. Anonymous at 3:12 p.m. – I used to work for a builder-developer of both residential and commercial projects. I’m afraid there is no such thing as quiet construction, especially if the project is in the initial phases. Please remember that this project very likely was approved by your local building department or the equivalent agency well before most people had to be home all day – under normal circumstances, the construction would take place while most people were at work, and be over for the day before most people got home. What, realistically, could anyone to do about the noise – cancel the project and put more people out of work? Where I live, residential and mixed-use construction are considered essential, so they are allowed to continue.

      For your own peace of mind, I can only suggest giving noise-cancelling headphones a try. If it would help you to know how much longer you have to endure the noise, look up the developer or the construction company. Either or both should have signs at the job site. Each project has a manager, or at least a superintendent, if it’s really small. They should be able to tell you what their proposed schedule is, what construction phase they’re in and when they expect the building to be completed, if all goes according to plan. That information might even be on their websites, if they list current projects by address. Keep in mind that really bad weather or supply chain problems (which might be caused by the pandemic) can add to a construction schedule.

      Please don’t tell whoever you speak with that you want them to build with less noise – there is no way to do that. But, as I said, the initial phases of a project, which might involve bulldozers, backhoes, digging, concrete pours, and rough carpentry, are usually the noisiest. The later phases don’t require as much heavy machinery or hammering, at last on the outside of the building. Although the roofing could be noisy, depending on the type of roof. At some point the building will be done, and then people will move in. Then you only have to worry about noisy neighbors.

      I am not trying to be insensitive to your plight, it’s just that there is no way to run a quiet construction job. It will end, however.

      1. I know, thank you for the response. Normally, if I can bypass with headphones, it’s fine, but these assholes are making so much noise that I’m having to maximize the volume. I don’t want to go deaf or hard of hearing from using my headphones excessively. Even in NYC, the noise level from construction isn’t this bad or constant (the #1 issue), so I don’t know what these people’s problem is. And of course I’d never tell anyone to construct less noisily or be unreasonable since they have to make a living too, but the constant all day every day excessive noise is the problem.

  20. At Uniqlo and Amazon, all of the cheaper jewel tone tops in my size M are sold out. Boo. I guess everyone wants to look good in their video conferences.

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