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Weekend Open Thread

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

I've been on the hunt for shorts lately — I know they've been around for a while, but I think I'm finally ready for a wider-legged denim cutoff like this or this (both super highly rated) or this (which I heard a midsize blogger swear is the only short she wears). (And after all of the reader love for these Athleta shorts I may have to finally order a pair.)

But on to the pictured shorts — while I was poking around Zappos these shorts came up on the bestseller list — and they have 155 five-star reviews. (And WOW do the reviewers love them.) Sign me up! They look super comfortable, and I love all the pockets.

The shorts are available in nine different colors in sizes 0–14 for $67.

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Sales of note for 12.3.24 (lots of Cyber Monday deals extended, usually until 12/3 at midnight)

Sales of note for 12.3.24 (lots of Cyber Monday deals extended, usually until 12/3 at midnight)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

233 Comments

  1. Lets have a victories and back pats thread! What are things you’ve done lately that you’re proud of? Big or little!
    For me:
    – finally cleaning my kitchen
    – made progress on a procrastination project
    – going to bed earlier!

    1. – Have read 25 books so far in 2021 – might actually hit my goal of at least 75 books this year, which I have never met
      – Turned in a 100-page report on a topic I care deeply about
      – Have been doing a better job of incorporating more adventure into my life and reducing puttering/sitting/screentime

    2. – Got a new antidepressant dose figured out in the midst of massive depression.
      – Started doing yoga almost every night (see above) as well as taking walks almost every day again
      – 101% lung function for the first time since 2009
      – Won a couple of great cases

    3. I submitted all my outstanding out of network expenses to my insurance carrier.

      1. OMG I did this too…it was sooooooo stressful to contemplate that I put it off for honestly like a year. Just found out I am getting back a bunch of money! Yes!

    4. Spent 4 hours yesterday talking (texting) with my sister. I haven’t felt much like we have a real relationship for years, but there we were, being super honest and vulnerable with each other and discussing big heavy stuff about our parents only we really understand. It was so good, despite the heavy subject matter.

    5. Little: Figured out why we were getting two copies of Cook’s Illustrated every month and fixed it.
      Big: Found a contractor for the bathroom remodel who isn’t going to require me to turn over my first born son as payment. (Which would be awkward since FBS is going to be 35 soon.)

    6. Figured out a good Mother’s Day gift! My parents are miserable people with no hobbies, so every holiday is a challenge.

        1. She wanted a pair of stylish slip-on sneakers, but always makes do with the small local selection because she isn’t allowed to shop online (my dad is former MI and believes commies run the internet). I ordered a large selection from Zappos and will have her play shoe store in my house, then I’ll send back what she doesn’t want.

    7. I was having an issue with one of the sensors on my security system. I finally got on chat with the company today and figured it out. I’ve been putting off doing it all week.

      This is an older one, but I started the refinance process on our mortgage and we closed last month.

    8. – Exercised intensely 4 times this week
      – Had a good, long talk with a friend who lives far away
      – Made several social engagements for the next few weekends

    9. – Finished the certificate program I’m in
      – Beginning to crawl out of the hole that was severe burnout
      – Hit a goal about in my Roth IRA
      – Went for a run for the first time in months

    10. I advocated for myself at work hard. I was wildly stressed out due to the non-stop fires in our poorly managed BU and my manager’s style was no conducive to my productivity or mental health. I worked with my very senior mentor who gave mw strategies, tips, and suggestions of who to talk to and how in order to see if I could lateral internally vs leave the company (our department is excellent overall and I really didn’t want to leave, I just wanted out of my role). It took some time, but I was offered a newly created position in a corporate (vs business role – current role is business) working for someone with a different (and better) approach than my current manager. I work with this person occasionally now. It will take a month or two to transition bc they need to find and I need to train my replacement, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. If I hadn’t wanted the new position, I would have been given through October to exit (I was clear that I was ready to look elsewhere soon) which I thought was actually quite generous. It all worked out and now I can take on some additional optional leadership roles that I have been wanting to but was not in the mental space for.

    11. –Finished my PhD coursework (so just comps and dissertation left… “just”) with not only a 4.0 but with a 100% program average. I know, I know, no one cares, but I feel good about getting every last drop out of the program.

      –going back through some emotional baggage and resorting what can go, what I can rebox in a different package/reframing, and becoming clearer on how what’s left impacts my life.

      –didn’t post this anonymously because I’ve decided to override my anxiety about feeling like a braggart or arrogant person for letting my work tie to who I am (I mean, kind of, we are still using handles haha)

      1. Go you! Yeah it’s “just” comps and a diss, but…it is just comps and a diss. Same process, no magic, you sit down and do the work and then it’s done. If you aced your coursework you will sail through the rest of it. Post again when you’ve defended!

    12. Climbed up into the gross creepy attic and reattached the loose bathroom fan vent pipe!

    13. After a re-org, found myself in a toxic work situation with no career progression so I used a headhunter to find a new position with more responsibility, better pay, and a clearer progression path. Only eighteen more working days at my current job!

    14. Finally, finally, applied for life insurance. Nedt step onece that is wrapped up – make a will. I don’t know why I put it off for so long…

      Since february I have been flossing daily religiously for the firdt time in my life and OMG the difference!

    15. My personal network is paying off and I was approached by basically a friend of a friend about some significant potential new work for my fledgling small business.

    16. -A. Finishing the first year of my phd
      -B. Starting therapy to deal with family stuff, making progress
      -C. Finally coming to terms with drinking too much too often, and working toward not wanting to drink by finally addressing problems from B
      -D. Getting back on track with exercise (after months of nothing, started jogging in March while gyms remain closed)
      -E. Giving myself more permission to choose
      -F. Maintaining all the basics in life (clean house, errands all done, things attended to)
      -G. Sustaining friendships across multiple continents during this pandemic/not checking out socially

  2. – Finally have gotten back into a workout groove, after having a lackluster winter in the fitness department
    – Have successfully beaten procrastination several times this week
    – We’re getting a lovely stretch of nice weather, so I’ve been working in my garden this week and getting a few things planted.

  3. Does anyone have a recommendation for a wireless bra/bralette that has some sewn-in lining to prevent show-through, but does NOT have removable pads? I’m serious, if it has removable pads, I don’t want it, but it seems impossible to find one without the pads unless it’s totally unlined, which I also don’t want. I just want the bare minimum in padding/coverage to prevent show-through. Wise hive, please help?

    2. I got the Simply Perfect by Warner’s Women’s Longline Convertible Wirefree Bra from Target and it is lined with no removable padding. It’s pretty comfortable.

      3. I was just about to recommend this exact bralette! So sorry Natori feathers, I’ve moved on…

      2. I love removable pads! Why? I’m a UK HH cup (US L-cup or something, and those little pads are more like awkward nipple covers.

        No pads would be so much better, but removable is better than nothing.

        1. Yep. If they’re going to be there, they should at least by removable. They always fold in on themselves or look awkward. Even as someone on the smaller side, they still look weird. Like, who do they work for anyway??

          Anyway, to add to bralettes without pads: I love my B Tempt’d bralettes. They have a few different styles but so far none of them have the silly little pads. I’m wearing one of their longline ones right now and it’s so comfortable/supportive, and the patterning for the cups works really well for my shape. I’ve never been disappointed by them. Though caveat, not sure how supportive they would be for anyone larger than say a 34 B/32 D.

    7. I think the Soma Enbliss is wireless. It’s fairly thick and doesn’t have pads.

    9. So they aren’t quite lined enough to fully prevent show through, but I’ve been loving Cosabella’s bral*ttes. They are so comfortable and well made. After a year of work from home I couldn’t face returning to underwire bras and they have been a great replacement.

    10. You are describing the Calvin Klein perfectly fit wireless tshirt bra. I’ve worn this bra everyday during covid. It is lightly lined and super comfortable.

  4. At what point do we just say a kid is regular-sick and go on about our day except for the sick kid (and the grownup who needs to stay home with a young kid) or are we still doing the if-one-person-has-a-cold-the-household-is-home-for-two-weeks? Both adults are half-vaxxed, so I’m not worried about it personally due to low local #s, high local vax rates, and kid barely leaving the house except with a mask on or to be outside in non-crowded areas. It’s more saying “home with my sick kid” and then freaking people out if we all return to our lives the next day. Pollen locally is through the roof (so I can say for sure that my allergies are bothering me but can’t say with that level of certainty why kiddo is sniffly and irritable; I just don’t think it’s COVID).

    1. If you’re only worried about freaking people out, just don’t tell them your kid is sick? Make up some other reason why your kid is home, if this is your only concern.

      1. You get your unvaccinated kid a test because we’re in a global pandemic and kid’s peer group likely is unvaccinated as well. Per CDC, If you’ve been vaccinated and around someone who has COVID-19, you do not need to stay away from others or get tested unless you have symptoms. So, no, you don’t need to be for two weeks. But kid needs to be tested or inside for two weeks. Numbers in my area are low but there’s been a huge uptick in junior high and high school.

        1. Actually, reread. If you’re only half vaxxed than you should get tested and stay home in the meantime as well.

    2. >I just don’t think it’s COVID

      Get your kid tested. That will answer all the questions. It really doesn’t matter what you “think” it is.

      1. Is that what people do now — COVID test for any hint of any symptom? And roommates, too? I guess we are a household.

        2. I mean, tests are widely available, fast, and free. What’s the downside to taking one?

          1. When I got tested over the winter it was at least $100 per test. I guess things have changed?

          2. Where are you getting tested? They’re free or covered by insurance in a lot of places. You must be going to a fancy private clinic, those are the ones I’ve seen charging $100+

          4. I’ve been tested 3 times due to symptoms (always negative, thanks allergies) – twice at CVS and once by my health system. Free.

        3. Here in NYC I can get a test for free with no line, and results are in 24 hours or less (for PCR). So in my circles, yes, we just get tested for everything, and I knew several people who got tested weekly just in case (we’re now all vaccinated).

        4. Yes. And in fact my close friend who was having “allergy” issues between shots 1 and 2 went and got tested, and she tested positive. Two days later she lost her sense of taste and smell. Her daughter tested positive 10 days later.

      3. When do you time a test if there is no exposure? I guess you just go when you want to (like a pre-flight test)? I have an event to go to next week that I’d like not to go to (but should for Reasons). I’m about to have my second shot. I’m thinking of getting test in part so if I am +, I will have a valid excuse (when no other Reason would work).

        1. If you have symptoms you’d show as + if you had it. If you don’t have symptoms, take it a few days before Event so there’s time for the results to come back.

          You could always pretend your second shot is the day before Event and then have “bad side effects” – unless people already know when it’s scheduled?

        2. How many people truly have no exposure? Unless they have been in a total, real bubble there is potential for exposure.

          1. I think 3:53 meant “no known exposure”… as in, it’s not like you were notified you needed to be tested because you’ve been working in-person and a coworker tested + or whatever.

      4. I get my kids tested if they have any symptoms, even if I think it’s something else. It’s a mild inconvenience in order to not risk spreading Covid.

        The process is much improved from the fall in my area—it’s fast, free, and easy. Through local social media groups, one can even find out current turnaround times (one provider promises 3 to 5 days, but has been returning results within 24 hours; another provider has appointments within a couple hours, promises results in 48 hours, but takes around 30 hours). Both mouth swabs and lower nasal tests are available in my area for children.

    4. There are thousands of dead people because they didn’t think they had COIVD-19. Get your kid tested and don’t be part of the problem.

      1. Exactly. This was the most frustrating post I’ve read here in a long time, and that’s really saying something.

    6. As others have said, you cannot magically divine whether it is Covid or not. Just get the test.

    7. Any time any of our kids have symptoms we get all 3 tested. It’s nearby, fast, and free. If Symptom Kid has really questionable symptoms, all stay home until there’s a result (usually 24 hours). That hasn’t happened recently. We don’t keep my 2nd grader and Kindergartner home if they are asymptomatic but my daycare kiddo has congestion and a cough. My elem kids are pool tested twice a week anyway.

      We flew over April vacation and got tested before and after.

      I refuse to be That Parent that was too lazy to get a free test down the road and made the entire class quarantine for two weeks.

  5. My mom used to hate polyester b/c it was not warm in the winter and kept you hot in the summer. I am getting to feel that way about leggings. In the winter, only Athleta fleece-lined leggings actually keep me warm. The cold goes right through other ones. Now that it is 70 degrees, I can wear leggings on non-humid days. But any warmer or any more humid and leggings just seem to trap the leg / hip dampness and sweat in and feel so nasty on. Is there some sort of warm-weather leggings that are wicking that I’ve missed? Every other casual garment seems to come in a lightweight or wicking fabric and yet I can’t find this. I’m normally a shorts girl, but this year, I’d rather not have my skin touching the world’s germs.

      1. Haha! I have a friend who now distinguishes between “leggings/joggers” and “hard pants.”

    2. Leggings kinda suck, IMHO. No, there is not a pair of leggings out there that will be comfortable in the summer months.

    4. Yeah, in the summer I only wear leggings when I’m working out and all my shorts are dirty.
      What about leggings with a perforated design or mesh patches? Otherwise you have to go with cotton all the way.

    5. I find that only true workout leggings are wicking enough for me to not get sweaty in. Cotton ones I agree, get swampy.
      What about longer bermuda (or heck, even 6 inch) shorts? I’m pretty sure multiple studies have shown very, very low risk of surface transmission (especially via your legs?!?) so this doesn’t seem like an issue to me.

      1. I’m not worried about COVID on leg-touching surfaces (hand touching ones even, but they are just nasty overall), but I sat on a subway seat in shorts not realizing that they had what I’m guessing was leg-sweat on them and it was just gross. It’s humid and nasty here and any wetness does not evaporate (and it’s not like out west where it could be those mister things spraying water on you to stay cool). It’s the ick factor.

    6. Two things: 1) Skin exists to keep germs out of your body. 2) You need to learn how to dress for different weather conditions.

      1. Re #2, very true. OP, you can’t crowdsource what’s going to feel the most comfortable for you. Just try things. It’s okay.

    7. I wear synthetic leggings only for working out, for lounging, I only wear breathable 100% cotton leggings. You can find many basic ones in many stores (eg H&M). Note they are not fancy colors/patterns.

      1. I have cotton leggings for around-the-house from Uniqlo that are great. Super soft, breathable and not hot in the summer. They are definitely moderately see through — I wouldn’t wear them out of the house.

      2. I also wear the mostly-cotton yoga pants or leggings (usually 90-10 or 95-5 with lycra). Jockey makes sturdy thick ones.

    8. I highly recommend Duluth trading company’sArmachillo pants. The technical fabric is super light weight and lets air flow. Magical for hot weather activity.

    9. Seconding workout leggings. Athleta always has nice looking ones, but I’ve never worn them myself because I have trouble justifying the expense, but they’re really nice looking.

      Also, have you considered a tapered pant? I’m thinking something like linen with a narrow leg that isn’t quite skin hugging. It seems like it would be pretty comfortable and strike a balance between having your legs touching everything but making your legs suffocate.

      I know skin exists to keep germs out and all but I also know how gross public transport can be. I don’t like my leg skin touching chairs even at home–it’s not a germ thing, it’s just a sensory one, I think I feel more comfortable only having to get used to one texture on my skin (pants) instead of adapting to all the changes that come from switching from one chair to another/walking around/going outside to inside. Anyway, I probably sound a little eccentric now but the point is: try out tapered breathable pants, if you haven’t already. They might be the middle ground you’re looking for.

  6. Apparently in other countries, there is menstrual leave. I had no idea. I could have used this before I learned that I need practically an IV of Advil to get through the first couple of days.

    1. I would rather have generous sick leave for everyone, taking into account that women tend to have greater needs due to their cycles and (often) childcare responsibilities (and factoring that into the total), then have a specific “menstrual leave.” I don’t need my coworkers knowing the details of why I’m out of the office. It’s my business and mine alone. That being said, we need a way to stop making men’s needs the “default” in all things related to work. If women’s needs became the default, then we would have better sick time, paid maternity leave, high-quality childcare, and so much more.

      1. Oh, I read something recently about a company getting sued for not honoring menstrual leave. IIRC it was an Asian company but IDK if the acts / leave were related to offices in Asia or elsewhere.

        Agreed that if I’m out, I’d rather not specify that it was for OTR. TMI.

        1. The recent new’s story was about a South Korean airline boss who refused to grant menstrual leave (part of SK employment laws) without “proof”. He lost in yet another court sometime this week, and has been given fines (for violating employment laws).

    3. Unfortunately my first thought is about worse discrimination. In hiring, we might go from “Hmm, she might get pregnant and take maternity leave, idk guys…” to “She’s definitely in her menstruating years. We’d have to deal with her taking monthly leave.”

    4. I’m not at all defending our country’s relatively terrible norms around leave, but could you use sick leave for this? Nobody needs to know the reason.

    5. That amount of pain is not “normal.” If your doc is saying it is, get a new doc. It could be something more serious like fibroids, endo, adeno, or something else. You (and all) deserve better!

      1. Seconding this. My mother, sister, and I all have had ridiculously painful periods. My mother got an endo diagnosis but then the clinic somehow lost the ultrasounds and she never went back for treatment. My sister, as far as I know, never did anything about it. And I’m about to see a specialist to try to get excision surgery done on mine. So far, out of all of us, I am the only one whose been able to get a diagnostic laparoscopy done and even then that was most likely only because I was presenting with recurrent abdominal pain that was unrelated to my cycle, so I went to a regular doctor instead of a gynecologist and I escaped the “It’s just bad cramps, they happen” spiel.

        If anyone tells you that vomiting from pain, passing out, and being incapacitated for a day is “normal” please don’t accept it and get a second opinion, preferably with someone who specializes in pelvic pain and related disorders! We all deserve better, and there are more options out there than just going on birth control to help mask symptoms.

    6. Yeah, it is a thing in Japan where I work.

      It’s a legacy from the days of gendered labour law. Women used to be prohibited from working past 8pm and other such ‘protect-the-ladies’ nonsense. In the late 1980s most of those gender-specific laws got axed but menstrual leave remained.

      Nobody takes it. If you need to, you take a sick day or work from home.

  7. Now I’m asking for book recommendations: What audiobook should I starton a 5-hour car ride tomorrow? Options include:
    Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi
    The Lake House or The Distant Hours by Kate Morton
    The Searcher by Tana French
    A Fatal Grace by Louise Penny
    The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith
    The Best of Me by David Sedaris
    After the End by Clare Mackintosh

    Anything on there that anyone has listened to on audio and liked? Or recent books that you really liked on audio? I’ve already read The Four Winds, The Rose Code, Code Name Helene, The Cold Millions, and a bunch of other newer releases.

    1. I really liked The Lake House and No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, but I read them on text, not audio. The Lake House would be so good though. It’s very immersive and mysterious.

      Thank you for the reminder that lots of people have recommended Louise Penny to me!

      1. I am so excited about the Louise Penny/Hillary Clinton book. It’s so relevant to my interests that it’s like they’re writing it just for me.

      2. I LOVED the first Louise Penny book. I’d put it off for years and then read it in two days.

    2. I thought The Thursday Murder Club was great on audio, and I find it really hard to find fiction that I can listen to! Highly recommend that one!

    3. Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell. It might end up being a new favorite book for me. If you like historical fiction and especially if you know anything about Shakespeare–it’s a speculation about the life of his family in Stratford.

      1. Monday, I agree. Hamnet was so unbelievably amazing. I think it’s in my top 5 all time books already.

    4. I recently listened to A Fatal Grace and really enjoyed it! I also tried The Searcher but couldn’t get into it. I would have given it more of a chance if my Libby app hadn’t told me there was someone else in line.

      Have you listened to The Midnight Library? It’s read by Carey Mulligan, and she was great.

    5. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil! I suggest this anytime anyone wants an audiobook.

    6. I lean toward mystery/thriller. Books that are WAY better on audio:
      _You series (latest one just came out on audio) by Caroline Kepnes (so much better than what Netflix did to it)
      _ His and Hers by Alice Feeney

      I’m also a big fan of The Escape Room by Megan Goldin (good if you hate your coworkers)
      And anything Riley Sager

    7. I read No. 1 Ladies… series not listened, but they are delightful books for passing the time. The first several books are amazing and then the next 5-10 are good. I admit I’ve cooled on them now that we’re up to like #18 — there are only so many antics that Violet Sephotho can get up to.

      1. “Passing the time” is pretty much my only goal for this drive. And “not boring so I don’t get sleepy.” This is why non-fiction doesn’t always work out…

    8. This is much lighter than most of the ones on your list, but the last audiobook I really enjoyed was The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, read by a whole cast of actors.

    10. No. 1 Ladies Detective has a fantastic narrator. It’s the perfect audiobook for a car trip because it’s engrossing but not overly dense. It’s also very entertaining.

    11. Stephen Fry has started narrating PG Wodehouse. There is a 40 hour long Jeeves collection on Audible. 40 hours!

  8. I have listened to most of the No 1 Ladies series and love them. Did not enjoy the one I read as much, in contrast to Vicki.

  9. I need new dinner ideas.

    What’s your favorite relatively-quick weeknight meal?

    3. the one I’m defrosting from the freezer, lol.

      For satisfying a pasta craving, Midnight Pasta. I didn’t know it actually had a name until recently but mmmmmmmm.

    4. For quick but interesting recipes, I browse blue apron’s recipes online. They publish them for free, they’re all really approachable, and they’re a little more elevated than if I was making it up myself!

    5. Refrigerated tortellini or ravioli with a quick rosa sauce made from garlic, canned tomatoes, cream and basil, plus a generous amount of baby spinach thrown in & wilted in the sauce to make it a complete meal including veg. I make the sauce while the water is boiling for the tortellini, then fish the tortellini out with a slotted spoon to finish in the sauce. I just take the pot with the sauce, spinach, and tortellini to the table.

      Chicken and rice. Season some skin-on chicken thighs. Saute over relatively high heat, skin side down, until they release easily from the pan. Remove to a plate. Saute an onion you chopped while the chicken was searing in the same pot, along with some garlic added at the end. Now add about 1 to 1.5 cups long grain rice and swirl around in the onion mixture until toasty. Add 2-3 cups of chicken broth (sometimes including some wine, sometimes not) and bring to boil, then place the chicken pieces on top and simmer lid-on for 20-25 min. You can throw in some veggies for the appropriate amount of time to steam if you like – I tend to add thin asparagus spears for the last 10 minutes this time of year. You can also add all kinds of things to cook with the rice – lemon zest and/or olives are good.

      Taco night but make it fancy with marinated chicken thighs or steak from the butcher counter instead of seasoned ground meat, but we also do the ground meat thing with ground turkey, add taco seasonings and a can of drained black beans. It’s all about the toppings here, so chopped tomatoes, lettuce, guacamole, sour cream, and personally I don’t think you can beat the Taco Bell brand mild sauce in the jar. We also sometimes do shrimp instead of chicken or turkey, and always have a big bag of frozen shrimp in the freezer.

      Speaking of shrimp, shrimp scampi. Boil some linguine. While that’s taking place, put a bunch of olive oil and butter and garlic and parsley in a wide pan and heat to low. Add thawed shrimp and cook very slowly so that it oozes out its deliciousness into the oil/butter/garlic. Add the cooked linguine right in and toss. Serve with a salad.

      Big salad with all the freshest veggies – little gems romaine, baby arugula, corn, avocado, ripe tomatoes, cucumbers, blanched green beans – and grilled chicken breasts cut into strips, homemade ranch dressing – by which I mean 1 c buttermilk, 1 c Best Foods/Hellman’s mayo, and 1 packet Hidden Valley Ranch Buttermilk Recipe powder.

      Middle Eastern night. Greek salad and chicken thigh shawarma (good sheet pan recipe from NY times, or buy the trader joes stuff) along with hummus and pita.

      This gets us through a week without any special prep work or using the dreaded instant pot/crock pot type helpers, which my entire family are so sick of.

    7. – Budget Bytes hearty black bean quesadilla
      – bagged salad (usually just the salad. Maybe add easy protein)

    8. Stir fry. Cut chicken into small bits. Put white rice into instapot to cook*. Cook in pan with oil. At the same time, in a second pan, dump bag of frozen “oriental stir fry” veggies in.

      Make honey soy sauce (corn starch, chicken broth, honey, soy sauce, sesame seeds, red pepper flakes). Combine cooked chicken and cooked veggies into one pan. Pour sauce over and let bubble down. Serve over rice. Start to finish 15 minutes.

      *can also use bagged TJ’s rice

    9. I like Leek & Pine nuts risotto. Warm rice over oil&butter (you can add white wine and let it evalorate, but I usually skip this), then cover with broth (I make a big batch in InstaPot over weekend and then freeze in small packs), set timer for 17mins. I add leeks and pine nuts 5mins before rice is done, together with black pepper and spices. Take off of heat, add butter and parmesane, stir and serve.
      I look to 101cookbooks for inspo.

  10. What is your pick me up when you’re tired for no good reason in the middle of the day? Mine are:
    – nap if possible
    – rest eyes for 10 minutes if possible
    – EmergenC or Nuun

    2. Glass of Water
      Coffee, tea or a coke
      Rinsing cold water on my face and hands
      Doing a brief walk (usually to nab water or coffee, tea or a coke)
      Putting on a pair of shoes or dressing more formally (WfH)
      Turning up the brightness on my laptop, turning on more light in my work space
      Forcing myself into a deadline. “For 30 min. you will do this and get it done, then rest”

  11. In finance, there is such a thing as “gardening leave.” Once you stop snickering, can someone explain how this works? Is it something regulatory (like the 2-weekers for broker-dealers, that is actually an anti-fraud device and not a mere enforced vacation)? Or just customary to take months off in between jobs?

    I feel that 22-year-old me needed to have known about things like this while making Life Decisions.

      1. I swear it’s not. I read a trade publication that has people said to be “on gardening leave” between jobs and IDK if that is a euphamism for “sacked with $ so they can breathe a little” or there is a FINRA reason to pause b/w jobs or people get a signing bonus and take time off. But it’s a thing. Maybe a UK holdover term?

        1. Nope, the euphemism for ‘sacked with $’ is ‘moved on by mutual agreement’, in a message sent out by anyone other than the person who is moving on.

        2. It’s a Britain/Australia/New Zealand thing. Basically a term for letting you go home when you give notice, but keeping you on the payroll through your end date. It’s meant to encourage people to give proper notice while also protecting company IP/finances. Not like in the US where giving notice earns you the “reward” of being frog-marched out the door and losing those two weeks of pay.

          1. I’ve occasionally seen it in the US when there’s a noncompete at issue – typically it’s sort of a “cooling down” period between employer #1 and #2, sometimes based on the threat of litigation over a noncompete/nonsolicit/etc. (still recognize it’s largely a UK based term, but it’s been adopted here in some circles.)

      2. Not at all. It’s called garden leave. It’s usually used as a period of time during which you are compensated but not working, typically related to non compete issues.

      2. Yup. Garden leave is also common in accounting/consulting. You are let go day of if you’re going to a competitor but your 2 week leave is paid to you along with any accrued vacation leave.

    3. In my organisation it’s so that really senior people don’t finish up at one job on Friday and then start at a competitor the next week with their head full of commercially sensitive business plans. Generally as soon as they hand their notice in (and at that level notice periods will be more than three months long – I’m in the U.K.) they will wrap up what they’re working on and go on garden leave shortly after. If they’re going to a competitor they might not even get the opportunity to do that.

    4. I work for a major financial services company that has a garden leave policy. It doesn’t apply to everyone in the company, generally only those who are in more senior roles or who are in a small subset of critical functions. Employees in those roles are required to give a certain amount of notice before leaving (ranging from 30-75 days depending on the role), and in return, the company will give them the same amount of notice before terminating them (unless the termination is for cause). Garden leave can be working or non-working, but it is paid at 100% and the employee cannot work for a competitor during that time.

    5. I worked at a Swiss bank and agree with what has been posted above about it largely being a non-compete mechanism. I’ve known very few people to take Garden leave otherwise and those people have all come back to a firm that has figured out how to exist without them. Their positions have all gone away within a few months or returning.

    6. This is the result of honoring a non-compete. In the U.S., the states take very different positions on when you can impose a non-compete.

    7. US outside counsel suggested it for employees of an acquisition who were going to be fired, but were needed for an investigation and would be more likely to participate if still employed. We didn’t use it, but an issue arose after we terminated them and I wish we had.

    8. Yeah, this is something I’ve seen in finance and IP-sensitive industries, but not as an official term, just slang/euphemism. I think it may be UK but I’ve seen it both in the Northeast US and UK. It means you’re shut out of company email and access to sensitive materials but are expected to be available to answer questions or otherwise support the transition of work.
      In my experience, it happens in several very different circumstances: when someone admits they are leaving to go to a competitor, or if they refuse to tell where they are going. Or if their work is for a client who is particularly sensitive and may have stipulations about access to their data. Or if they’re just not that critical to the company and they’re given notice/laid off/made redundant with some amount of paid notice but told they don’t actually need to work the notice period. That last one is much more common in the UK I think.

    9. Where I live (Scandi) this is a non-compete thing for public office and high-ranking civil servants, to keep the integrity of the civil service and make sure private business isn’t getting inside information by poaching. There is special legislation, and the non-compete (called a quarantine) period is usually 6 months. If a person with a non-compete changes jobs in a way that triggers the non-compete, the former employer will pay full pay for e.g. 6 months while the leaving employee does nothing (garden leave) or symbolic busywork (highly unlikely).

    10. Late response. Definitely real thing.

      Generally this relates to the confidential information that many finance professionals have about clients of the bank. When I left IB as a VP – it was 6 weeks. (e.g. your contract states that if you go to another dealer there has to be 6 weeks between when you leave the bank and start your job). For a MD it would be 2 – 3 months. for analysts (e.g. 22 year olds) it was 2 weeks notice. Theory is that for many things that you would be working on, they would die / become public during the gardening leave, so you lower the probability of purposely or inadvertently using that information at a competitor. (e.g. if you KNOW 2 companies are negotiating a merger, you can’t unknown it, even if you have every intention of acting ethicially and honestly – it would be hard to be unbiased if your new team ask you to consider a related merger / stock purchases etc).
      IME, if something is more than 3 months out, it isn’t certain enough to really be competitive information.

  12. Hello all. I’ve posted before about my new-to-me dog. We’ve really gotten past the nipping now that he’s settled in, but he’s still a massive chewer. He has every chew toy known to man and eschews (intentional) them in favor of anything wooden – so tree limbs, trellis structures, shingle house siding, etc. For this reason, when he can’t be supervised he’s either in his kennel or a dog run we just bought, but today he chewed up his chew-resistant dog bed that we paid $50 for last week. Cotton fiberfill everywhere.

    so 1) recommendations on a truly chew resistant bed? and 2) thoughts on the chewing problem in general? He’s 5 1/2 years old so this is not a puppy thing.

    1. 1) Some dogs just can’t have bedding when unsupervised. Count your blessings that you’re only out the bed and not the cost of surgery for a blockage.
      2) More exercise. Dogs don’t chew when they’re asleep.

    2. Have you seen the wood flavored nylabones? Those were a lifesaver in my household for a while.

      I’m sure they’re other places as well but Amazon had a memory foam bed that I purchase for my dogs recently. They enjoy it and if they tore off the cover it wouldn’t make a mess the way the cotton stuffed ones do.

    3. Kong has a indestructible dog bed that I believe you can return for your money back if they break it. It comes in crate sizes. I have one for my Chi who managed to chew the K9 Ballistics chew-proof bed and he hasn’t made a dent yet.

    4. Check Orvis – they used to have a bed for determined chewers. I think the outer fabric was basically ballistic nylon, and they guaranteed it. My dog did chew through it, and Orvis honored the guarantee. He must have gotten tired of chewing on it, because he did not chew through the replacement Orvis gave us.

      Also, that dog loved to chew on basketballs. We would buy a cheap one and underinflate it a bit, and he would gnaw on it for months until he had cut it in two. That might be worth trying.

      1. Our dog shredded the Orvis “indestructible” bed within a week. Agree with commenter above who said some dogs just can’t have bedding.

    5. There is a chew called gorilla wood. It’s real wood. My pup can take it or leave it, but maybe your pup would like it.

      Have you tried calming tools — like a lickimat or a stuffed frozen Kong or west paw toppl?

    6. The chew-deterrent spray helps for our dog. We have one that has bitter nettle in it. He would target certain things (wood moulding, chair legs, sometimes wires(!)), but a few instances of spraying seemed to break the spell. Every now and then he’ll revisit one of his old chew-targets, but a spritz–or now even pointing the bottle at the area–and he backs off again.

    7. My puppy was (and still is) a chewer/destroyer and has chewed and torn through every single plush dog toy. We got her the bagel bed from Majestic Pets from amazon and it has been perfect. Get the suede kind without the fleece bottom. It’s been well worth the money and we ended buying another one for inside her crate because she loves it so much.

    8. More exercise. I used a device that I bought on Amazon to ride my bike with my dog attached alongside. I could exercise her and wear her out in 20 minutes. She loved it! Search for dog bike leash on Amazon and there are a variety of them. I rode on suburban side streets, and it worked well. Also, the crate, and marrow bones that you can buy at the grocers for chewing. I also used empty glass jars (peanut butter, mayo, yogurt, jam) that took a while to lick out. This will partly be trial and error, but it should get better.

  13. I’m looking for a polycarbonate (or the like) mat to go under my rolling desk chair in my home office. It’s going on carpet, so I’d like the little teeth underneath to keep it from moving around. Color or print would be nice, but clear is fine too. Any recs for a good one?

    1. Anji Mountain has a bunch of cute mats. I got the one specifically designed for carpet which works great on top of my high pile carpet.

  14. Hubby and I renovating a rental unit he owns, and my job is to pick paint colors. Our realtor has suggested two wall colors, and I’m torn between the almost-white one (SW Alabaster) or the one that is more strongly greige (SW Agreeable Gray). Floors are medium toned wood throughout and trim and kitchen cabinets are white (open plan kitchen/living area) with dark gray soapstone-looking countertops. It’s a small space without a lot of natural light.

    Which would you prefer if you were a potential renter?

    1. I have gray walls that read a cold chilly lavender in some rooms and I really would prefer a neutral (like a warmer white / taupe) and I am just done with gray.

      1. Alabaster is a lovely color, but I’ve only used it for cabinets and trim. I personally think it would be stark on walls, but YMMV. Agreeable Gray isn’t in-your-face gray; it’s more of a greige and should go with most renters’ stuff.

        1. Do you like it on your cabinets? I was also considering it for the kitchen cabinets and trim rather than a whiter white, with the Agreeable Gray or another greige on the walls.

          1. I LOVE it in on my cabinets. It definitely reads white, but it’s softer without going creamy/yellow. I used it for my kitchen cabinets and in one bathroom. For what it’s worth, Agreeable Gray and Alabaster look really nice together, and I have never been a huge gray-trend person.

    4. Any suggestions for beige/taupe/tan that are similar in intensity to Agreeable Gray but not as… gray?

      1. Not what you asked but for a softer white, I’ve seen several omginfluencers use Greek Villa recently and it looks nice on the screen anyway.

        1. We recently did SW Greek Villa in several rooms and I love it. It was veeery similar to alabaster in the test though so not sure it’s that different.

      2. Also SW Sea Salt (cut to 50%) is not as aggressively gray. May have a touch of blue in it.

        1. SW Repose Grey is another option. We have it at full strength and it doesn’t read overwhelming grey.

      3. Accessible Beige is like the cousin of Agreeable Gray. :) It’s definitely more beige than Agreeable Gray.

      5. I’ve said it before, but I do all my rentals in Simply White for trim and Navajo White for walls – it comes out warm and lovely in every light. It’s a little more stylish than the average rental. I also try to do pops of black – doors usually for some interest and fun light fixtures.

    5. Am a renter, prefer white! Gray is okay, hate hate hate everything in rentals being beige or tan.

    6. I spent 13 years in rentals with yellowish-beige walls and hands down the best part about buying my own place was painting everything white. (BM Chantilly Lace).

    7. My living room is Alabaster and I like it a lot. It looks creamy, not white, but without yellow undertones.

    8. Grey (including greige) is out, bright white is in!
      From your responses, it sounds like you really want something beige. I will second all of the commentators who say they prefer white. White feels much, much more modern right now.

        1. We just did the same white for the walls and cabinets for a space that wasn’t very bright and had conflicting wood and stone tones and it calmed the space down a lot.

      1. I did my kitchen in BM Chalk White because I wanted neither yellow nor bluish undertones

    11. White. Personally, I’d want a little warmth in the white, but white-white would be better than beige/greige/grey.

      Grey and beige are very dull, and with no natural light they’ll look dirty and sad. I would assume that your realtor has chosen these because scuff marks and pollution will be less obviously visible, and that there would be less chance of your having to repaint if your renter leaves early.

      As a renter, I have at different places lived with warm greige (hated it), cool brown-grey (hated it) and grey kitchen (hated it). Buying my own place, one of the joys was choosing to not get any walls or furniture that were greigy neutrals.

  15. These shorts are cute. They’re also available in a slightly longer inseam if the 3″ inseam scares you.

    Curious if other pear-shaped ladies have noticed this — without fail, if I do not size up in shorts, I usually regret it. Especially because chinos, jean shorts, etc. are prone to shrinking. I don’t know how I can be the same size in jeans, pants, skirts, and dresses but need a completely different size in shorts or they’re uncomfortably tight in the hips and thighs. Maybe all those other bottoms have more room for error, IDK.

    1. Absolutely! I have a big difference between my waist and my hips and I need to go up often 2 sizes from pants to shorts, even in the same brand. I used to think I didn’t like shorts, but finally I’ve figured out that I just need a much larger size (and usually curvy fit).

      1. Clothing sizes are so weird. I think I’m coming around to truly believing they’re a starting point and not much more.

    2. I just rarely wear shorts, and if I do they’re loose fitting non-chino or jean material. I haven’t worn shorts regularly in years…like since sometime in high school.

      I was a high school / college athlete so I’ve always been a fit pear, but still had this problem. It’s terrible. I hate it. Sundresses and athletic shorts only for me.

    3. Jean shorts can go to hell. The only shorts that reliably fit me are the j crew chino shorts with the 5” inseam.

    4. Yes! I have these exact shorts in my regular size and they are too short/small for my pear shaped thighs. I didn’t know about the longer inseam option, maybe I’ll size up and give that a shot!

    5. I am not pear shaped, but hourglassy, (so I guess basically pear shaped for shorts purposes) and my biggest pet peeve with trying to find shorts online is that none of them ever list the leg opening size. I have muscular thighs and hate shorts that are too tight on them, but I also don’t like longer shorts. So I know my perfect inseam length and my ideal shorts opening, having measured the only pair that I have ever found that I love, but it is so hard to find places that list that measurement. A pair that looks loose on the model will end up laughably tight on me. I usually end up going up 2 sizes and then having the waist taken in, like with almost everything else. Sigh.

      1. This is me exactly. If you shop on Poshmark, you can ask the seller to measure the leg opening for you. And again, I recommend curvy cuts–they tend to account for muscular quads and a small waist.

      2. Nordstrom might have leg opening sizes, I think I remember looking at that last summer. I ended up with a pair of Madewell shorts

  16. We have ridiculously large window wells and I can’t find a cover to fit (like literally more than six feet in length). I don’t want anything that will block light completely since the basement is already so dark. Any recommendations?

    1. Clear window well covers in varying styles, exist. If that sort of change is a possibility.

  17. Does anyone do anything special for their birthday, milestone or otherwise? I know some people celebrate for the entire month. I can’t be the only one who does a bra-ventory and tosses and replaces all my knickers plus buys a new vintage piece of jewelry, re evaluates my personal goals, etc. I’d love to hear about your traditions…..

    1. I don’t really celebrate birthdays publicly as an adult, but I definitely TREAT MYSELF. Hahaha. I’ve started buying myself a piece of original art and/or having a custom piece of jewelry made. I did both this year.

        1. It’s been a little jewelry trail from my local woman-owned jewelry shop. My local shop was a personal recc, I then bought a designer she carried (multiple times), who carried the jeweler who is now making this year’s ring. If you are interested in browsing, the three are K Novinger in Pennsylvania, Kate Maller in CO, and Variance Objects in CA. Happy shopping!

        2. Oh, and for art, I have purchased through the Liz Lidgett gallery, some from Roma Osowo, Charlie French, Maggie O’Neill, and Julia S Powell. I buy pieces at local art shows too. Honestly, Instagram had been the main way I find new art. Artists share galleries and vice versa, and also other artists.

    2. Birthdays are the days I turn off my inner critic and do something I don’t have the balls for the rest of the year. I’ve submitted poetry to a highly respected magazine, guest sung at a paying band gig, and hit on a ridiculously hot guy in a bar (premarriage).

    3. I get too many gifts from my family and friends. Every year I say it’s too much and then the next year I get the same if not more. It’s very sweet.

      Usually some kind of special dinner and cake. This year I made my own dinner and cake because covid but ordinarily I would have zero qualms about going to a french restaurant I absolutely love and getting a cake from a splashy bakery (sadly, no longer in business, hence the homemade cake this year)

      Last year I had more of a milestone birthday and had a smallish dinner party – 8 total. I cooked and the cake was store bought, and one of my friends flew across the country for it! That was just about a month prior to the pandemic and the last party most of us went to for a long time.

    4. I take a half day atleast and treat myself to a 2-3 hour massage. Dinner in the evening with hubs.
      Could not do massage in 2020 sadly. That said, I only started this ritual at 35.

    5. Spa day at The Four Seasons! Had to miss last year, but this year they will be open.

    6. I always take the day off work and most years I manage to be somewhere fabulous on vacation on my birthday. For my 60th I had a big destination party (party boat in New York Harbor) and it was fantastic!

    7. My birthday is on the heels of a major holiday that is on the heels of a major holiday so the tradition for my entire adult life has been for everyone to ignore or forget it.

      1. Sad post. I’m imagining January birthday. I’m so sorry to hear that. Book yourself somewhere fabulous this coming and tell us all about it.

  18. Any recommendations for tools to revamp your work wardrobe? I’m open to a personal shopper as well. I think this will be my post-pandemic splurge, since my previous work clothing seems very blah after a year spent WFH.

  19. I know there was a thread with t-shirt dress recommendations recently (the last 30 days)? I thought I bookmarked it, but apparently I did not. Does anyone remember or know which day it was? There were maybe 10 separate responses to the recommendation request? Thank you in advance!

      1. I can not find it! Searches are giving me T shirts. I may try posting this question again Wednesday.

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