ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 129 Comments

Weekend Open Thread

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Last year around this time I bought a ton of sweaters to refresh my collection, from pricier, fancier labels to more affordable labels like Treasure and Bond — and much to my surprise I've found myself reaching again and again for the Treasure and Bond sweaters. So I'm definitely paying attention to the brand a lot more than I have been previously!

This ruched t-shirt dress is a prime example — the version in black is really well-rated, and it comes in a ton of other colors as well (unrated and on a different product page, for some reason). All of the color options come in sizes XXS-3X (even though the black is only pictured in the plus). And, they're on sale!

The dresses are $41-$59 at Nordstrom.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.5

129 Comments

  1. Kat, I love these dresses! What great picks and I am so happy you are looking at Nordstrom’s Treasure and Bond collection. The Ruched Tee Shirt dress is perfect for people like me who are slowly trying to get slimmed down. By making it a bit loose, our tuchuses are NOT accentuated, and we can exercise accordingly and over the course of the next few months, slim down to the point we can finally take these off and put on stuff that will get more male attention.

    I do caution the hive NOT to put up with BS from men who are nothing to write home about themselves when they counsel us on how to trim down our tuchii, particularly when their stomachs appear to have about a keg of beer in them at all times. Just tell them to look at themselves in the mirror, and look sideways to see that their belly button is the part of their body that stands out the most, even further then their precious winkie dinkies ever do after a summer of working out!

    If the men are respectful, you can be freindly to them, but just keep the tee shirt dresses on near them until after Memorial Day at the earliest. After that time, you should be good to go! YAY!!!

  2. What does everyone’s Easter look like, if you celebrate? Mine is: Easter baskets waiting for kids Sunday morning, midday we gather as a family for honey baked ham, potato salad, deviled eggs, and a lamb-shaped cake when my grandma was around. Lots of food. We used to go to mass also but I don’t practice any more.

    2. Now, we are in a very secular country, which seems especially jarring for Americans (read a book, don’t remember). So when I call our traditional easter lunch almost a ritual, it is in no way meant disrespectful for the people actually engaging in what they consider meaningful rituals. Just to say that the traditions are so ingrained they might as well be rituals. We had a smorgåsbord, with swartzbrot and white bread:
      1) Two kinds of heering (noone actually likes pickled heering, but they eat it anyway), breaded fish filet, lox, shrimp with boiled eggs, lobster salad, tuna mousse.
      2) port roast with crackling skin (flæskesteg), fried minced pork and beef meatballs (frikadeller), liverpate with crisp bacon and mushrooms (leverpostej), two savory pies, one with onion and one with bacon and mushrooms (not traditional).
      We had schnaps and beer (noone likes schnaps, but they drink it anyway).
      People felt very badly afterwards. I am picky, and only eat what I like, so I had an ok time.

      Other than that easter is for chocolate eggs. Kids make easter cutout letters, and if their doting grandparents (or other recipients) fail to guess the sender correctly, they have earned another easter egg.

        1. Actually no, I was going from leverpostej, but the rest does not look like Dutch spelling. My apologies :)

        1. We actually always end up throwing the leftovers out since noone likes it really. I try to buy the least amount possible to avoid too much food waste.

          1. I like pickled heering and going to church so not all Danes are alike. Glædelig påske = Happy Easter

    3. Easter Vigil at 6 AM if I can get my husband to supervise the toddler’s wake-up time. Otherwise, I’ll be up early finishing the decorating (we don’t start decorating until after sundown on Holy Saturday) and putting out the kids’ baskets. Then mass at 8:45, back home around 10:15 and the extended family comes over for brunch and an egg hunt. Brunch will be ham and turkey with various contributions from others. Since we will all have been avoiding alcohol and sweets from some period of time prior (whether all of Lent for some or just Holy Week for others), there will be a pitcher of mimosas for adults and plenty of Easter candy and sweets for the kids. Then naps for everyone (including/especially me!) once brunch is over…

    4. Here is my Easter: Drag teenager out of bed at 0 dark 30 for first breakfast and Easter basket. Scramble to get self and teenager to church before 7:45 a.m. choir call time. Sing first service. Potluck brunch in church kitchen between services. Sing second service. Go out for second brunch (third breakfast?) on restaurant patio with mimosas.

    5. I’m either going to be buried in homework or driving 2 hours to see my parents, siblings and niblings. And eating their chocolate.

    6. My entire childhood (really, until a year or two pre pandemic) we’d do immediate family stuff in the morning (baskets/egg hunt when we were kids, breakfast as a family as adults), then go to church around 10 (Easter always takes forever with all the pomp and circumstance and “extra” people … the communion line is long), followed by brunch with my mom’s side and dinner with my dad’s side. It was such a long day, fitting in so much, and everyone had to go to work/school the next day.

      My generation ranges from early 20s (single and child free) to mid 40s (married, kids), most of the cousins live elsewhere now and most of the cousins are not very religious (my parents generation is very religious). This has all led to Easter being a much lower key affair than it once was.

      Now we do a MUCH more laid back brunch for both sides of the family (whoever is in town and free),and people who want to go to church do so before brunch. We even wear jeans now! Either my mom or her sister host. It lasts a few hours and then we have the rest of the day free!

      My only complaint about “new Easter” is that I don’t love the food… half of my family (myself included) lives to eat and the other half eats to live and the hosts are inevitably in the eats to live half.

    7. When the kids were little we did an egg hunt, occasionally inside if it was raining outside. Now the kids are older and really just want Easter baskets for the candy, which is fine. We still get a bit dressed up, and I cook a big Easter meal, and then we go for a family walk and watch a movie once we’re back home.

      I grew up Catholic. Mom never went to church for Easter or Christmas service. She said J3sus understood. She went every other Sunday when the E&C crowd wasn’t in attendance.

    8. Lots of church; between 2-5 services depending on the age of kid. I went Thursday to Confession and stayed home with kids so my husband could go to Holy Thursday mass, then we all went to a Good Friday Children’s Mass, I did my closet seasonal swap during the youngest’s nap time, my husband wet back to church for a “real” mass. Tomorrow will be a big shopping day, I will decorate a bit and lay out Baskets and hide eggs around the house (weather is atrocious in Ottawa for outside hunts). My husband will go to Easter Vigil. Sunday morning, Kids will get up and see their Baskets and egg hunt then mass at 1000. Come home and cook whatever I bought on Saturday. Prime rib, turkey, etc..we just had ham so I won’t do that. Will probably make a carrot cake and kids will open Easter packages from my dad.

  3. anyone else just not over the moon excited about being in a relationship or married? I like my partner, I don’t think I’d find anyone who is a better fit (or at least not more than 10% better), I don’t particularly want to date ever again – and yet, I’m rarely excited about the idea of forever. Most of my friends believe you need to be head over heels in order for things to work out. I’m definitely not, but also not convinced I’m wired that way.

    1. I remember feeling this way about a boyfriend when I was in my early 20s I dated for 3 years. When the thought of marriage arose my reaction was “meh, okay, I guess”. I even talked to my wise grandma about it. It bothered me that I wasn’t excited about forever with him and she provided some good counsel. She thought it was a bad idea to marry if you aren’t looking forward to it. We ended up breaking things off for a different reason and I met my husband 6 months later. I knew I wanted to marry him within the first 3 months of us dating and now that we have been together a decade I’m still thrilled to be married to him everyday when I wake up. He is the best and I am so lucky. I’m so glad I didn’t stick with the “meh” guy. I think grandma was right, as always.

      That being said, I tend to be very excitable and enthusiastic about a lot of things in life. Snow day! Chocolate! Friends coming for dinner! If you are a person who rarely gets excited or eager about things, maybe this is just the way you are.

      1. I had a very similar experience (without the council of a grandmother so my relationship lasted 7 years). I have been married for 8 years and knew I wanted to marry my husband right away. It told me how much I didn’t want to marry my old boyfriend. I also didn’t think I would find anyone that much better (but I was wrong. My husband is a waaay better fit for me).

    2. Are you this way about everything, or just about the guy? I’m prone to anhedonia, so I’m not super jazzed about anything at all, but I’m not interested in chaging that for a variety of reasons that are out of scope here. If you’re an enthusiastic person but not about your partner, that’s worth investigating.

    3. You are not alone in feeling this way.

      I have been married for 20 years now and he’s fine, but I am not the type to wake ecstatic to be married. If I am brutally honest, when he gets sappy about how much he adores me, is thrilled to have me in his life, wants to cuddle, blah blah blah, it makes me want to roll my eyes. This occasionally makes me wonder what is wrong with me and consider whether it is unfair to him that I have this lack of giddiness towards him. I don’t know what the answer is. But I understand what you mean, that there is nothing objectively wrong with him, it’s just not terribly earth shattering being in a long term relationship.

    4. This is me exactly. I love my partner and he is the best possible fit for me. But, I don’t get giddy about him like I see other people doing. When he travels, I don’t miss him that much. I don’t want to not have him in my life, but certainly not head over heels about him. Neither of us plan on getting married again so that’s not an issue. I think your friends are wrong, and there are different ways to be in a relationship.

      Also, I am skeptical about the idea of forever. My approach is that I will enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasts, but I doubt that means forever. I have no reason to think our relationship will end, but you never know what the future holds and any number of things could change.

    5. Have you always felt this way or have you had ups and down? The biggest thing that I’ve noticed is I most feel that way when my husband and I stop actively trying to date one another. It’s easy to fall into a routine of feeling like roommates rather than partners. We take turns planning a date each week- sometimes it’s going out for ice cream or a mini spa session at home. The other thing I really like is an app called Card Decks from Gottman and it gives you questions to ask one another. Some of them are silly and some are deep. The idea is that when you’re early in dating you ask questions to get to know one another and at some point you just assume you know everything about the other person, but there’s always more to learn. We’ll do that instead of watching tv once a week or so and it has really done wonders for us.

    6. Oh girl, don’t marry that guy. You just haven’t met your person yet. Sure, you can settle but life can be so much more. I wake up every day over the moon happy to be with my husband, he’s my favorite person on the planet.

    7. I felt that way about my first husband.

      I felt the opposite about my second husband.

      The latter has lasted much longer than the former.

      1. I wonder if there is an element of whether a person is serotonin vs dopamine dominant? There have been studies that whichever is more dominant in your brain affects your personality a lot.

        The reason I say this is because I think I am by nature dopamine-dominant, but am currently on SSRIs. When I’m off my meds, I’m the most lovey-dovey, can’t-imagine-my-life-without-this-person kind of romantic. Butterflies, the whole nine yards. But on my SSRIs, I can’t really access that same level of enthusiasm. I gravitate a lot more toward pragmatic appreciation for the person and a sort of vague sense of excitement of the possibility of a quiet life together (kids, the house, etc). Dopamine is supposed to be more closely aligned with risk-taking, pleasure-seeking behavior, whereas serotonin is more linked to conscientiousness and delight in rule-following.

        I’m sure there is an element around whether the person is right for you in certain cases. But if you find yourself never excited about a romantic interest, it could very well be that you’re just wired a bit differently. I’m sure there’s a lot of upside to being a bit more rational/grounded around the matter of love.

    8. What if the standard was something like “this is the most excited I could possibly be about any relationship”? This allows for variations in how excitable a person you are, while still making sure it’s the right person.

      I am not romantic and really never gush. I don’t use language like”head over heels” or “butterflies.” But I am definitely the most excited/invested/happy etc. in my relationship as I could possibly be, in a way specific to my nature. If I couldn’t say that, something would be wrong (and has been, in past relationships).

    9. It could be just who you are, or it could be this isn’t the one for you. Do NOT get married if you’re not 1000% sure walking down that aisle.

    10. My opinion is that this feeling is fairly common after being married for a long time, but if you feel this way in the beginning, don’t get married. If you’re not excited in the beginning, in 5 years you will probably want a divorce. Just my two cents

      1. I agree. Unllike fine wine, wow relationships don’t get better over time. If you are not feeling warm below the belt when you are with him now, don’t expect for it to get better once you’re with him 24/7 for more than a week. I was so hopeful that I was going to marry Sheketovits until all the signs convinced me I should not. When a guy lays around your apartment eating and drinking and leaving the toilet full for you to flush when you get home at the end of a long hard day @ work, something is wrong, especially when he continually did nothing other than watching TV. He could have (1) kept the place clean and made the bed rather than put crumbs all over the place then wait for me to come home and clean; (2) gone shopping for food from time to time in order to restock the refrigerator and larder rather than wait for me to go shopping after a long hard day @ work; (3) actually did the laundry rather than let it pile up in the toilet until I could do it myself; and (4) gone downstairs once a day to pick up the mail and packages rather than waiting for me to bring those items up myself after a long day @ work. If you see your boyfreind here, note the red flags NOW, because they only get worse with time. After I cleaned house (with him as part of the cleaning), I was so much happier! Put another way, it’s great to have a great guy, but not so great when the guy is a doosh. Hopefully we will all find decent guys but the odds of that are not great given the supply that is out there.

      2. Same. Married 5 years. Husband and I are in a meh phase right now. Toddler and pandemic life ain’t sexy.
        When we first met, we basically moved in right away. Bought a house together 6 months in. Married less than 2 years later. I bought expensive concert tickets for him 6 months out after our third date. I knew right away he was different than all the other guys and I wanted to be with him.
        He drives me nuts sometimes but there is no one I would rather have drive me nuts.

    11. Do you and your partner talk about and share long term goals? It’s hard to get excited about a blank page. Perhaps you don’t want to do the house and kids – that’s a great reason not to be excited about forever if you feel like that’s a requirement. I learned a lot about myself and my partner when we had exactly this conversation in our mid twenties. It turned out neither of us wanted the house and kids at the time! We then had an amazing decade doing all kinds of irresponsible and magical things together without having the pressure of forever. In our mid thirties we had a kid after all, and while it was really hard we partnered up for it like we did for other crazy adventures. If you don’t feel like you want to do anything with this person or they are stifling you in doing your thing – you should let them find their proper partner and you find yours.

    12. There are a lot of people who are fine. If your goals are on the normal side of things (have a few kids, have decent jobs, etc.), there will be a lot of men who reasonably can slot into the role of husband. There won’t be objective things wrong that you can point to for a fiery breakup. But that doesn’t mean you should marry him. And it doesn’t mean you can’t get excited about someone. If you’re more interested in hitting those boxes than holding out for a person who makes you excited to be alive, marry him. That’s also called settling. If you want to take the risk of the timeline falling away (maybe no kids, not on the same path as others), break up, and look for the person who you will be thrilled about. Personally, the idea of a settling gave me hives and I held out. Didn’t have kids, had a lot of career success and met my husband late in life. But he’s amazing, I feel lucky every day to be with him and it was absolutely worth the gamble.

  4. I’m really, really, REALLY ready for a new job and I’m starting to search very seriously. Anybody have any opinions on whether LinkedIn Premium is worth paying for for a job searcher?

    1. I’ve hard from several fellow job searchers that it was not worthwhile, but we’re all in tech or tech-adjacent. I’d assume this varies greatly by your field.

    3. Also REALLY looking! I paid for a month and cancelled it. I didn’t see any additional value.

    4. So for me, it ultimately was worth it because I used it to cold email fellow alums or other people I had an attenuated connection with – and one of those cold emails got my my current job (in house attorney at a large tech company). I cancelled after I got my job but I’m glad I ponied up the cash during the job search.

      1. This. Ability to message cold got me my last job (they had just taken down the posting before I could apply, but I knew I was the perfect fit so emailed one of the owners).

  5. Stories of falling in love at/after 40 please? (And that includes with a person or with a career or with a hobby!) 39 and in that life stage when my friends are all married off and no one’s really divorced yet so it feels like I’m half an inch away from being in the old MadTV sketch “Lowered Expectations.” Don’t earn enough to be the wealthy fun Aunt nor do I live somewhere with enough room to become the crazy pet lady so I’m all ears for all kinds of happily ever afters.

    Let’s hear your love stories!

    1. My mom got married to my dad when she was in mid-twenties. They had two kids and an extremely volatile 17-year relationship (lots of screaming fights and controlling behavior from my dad).

      They got divorced when she was forty-two, and two years latter she met her now-husband. They’ve been together close to twenty years, he’s so supportive/loving/loyal/kind/good-natured, they’ve traveled to 50+ countries together (he’d rich), and they wake up every day giddy to be together. She’d be miserable had she stayed with my dad (or wound up with anyone she’d met in her twenties), and I doubt if she and my stepdad met any earlier, they’d have the relationship they do now. The multiple divorces between the two of them and the wisdom that years brought are what ultimately allowed them to have the sweet/loving relationship they do and come together as two fully formed people.

      Life is so long! If you’re the type of person to delight in hearing about other people’s love stories even when you’re not feeling the most hopeful about your own, I think that really speaks to the kind of heart you have. You will meet someone you love if that’s what you want and are open to, and I’m certain you’ll be able to create the kind of love story you want.

      Also, if you’re not already on apps or dating sites, definitely try them out!!! A lot of people share horror stories, but if you’re selective about who you meet, it can be such an empowering way to take control over the process. It’s how I met my boyfriend and how my mom met her husband, and it’s how most of my friends have met the people they’re currently with.

      Sending you lots of love!!! 39 is also so young. I’m 25 and I all the women I know around 40 are killing it, so confident and poised, and usually don’t seem that much older than me. You have a lot of time.

    2. Met my husband three months after my 40th birthday, we got married 6 months later and it’s amazing and wonderful still a decade later. I kissed all the frogs along the way, hang in there.

    3. One of my best friends met a guy in her running club, started dating, and got married within a year. I believe she was 42 when they got married. I was pregnant at her wedding and that kid is 19 now, so it seems to be working!

    4. I was married at 25 and divorced by 31, with a newborn. I didn’t necessarily give up on the idea of love but I also didn’t seek out real lasting relationships. But when I was 39, I went speed-dating and met the love of my life. Almost 7 years later, I still get butterflies when he walks in the room.

    5. A guy approached me in Grand Central Terminal, looking for his Match.com date who was a woman wearing a red coat. Although I was a woman in a red coat, we figured out I was not his date. We exchanged email addresses, mostly as a way to end an awkward conversation. We were different races, he was temporarily in NYC for a job, and I was a native. He liked folk music, which I loathe. Twenty-five years later, we are still married and I still have a red winter coat.

      3. You should enter this in the NY Times section where they have little stories about life in NYC – for the life of me I can’t remember what they call that specific section, but it’s adorable. May you always have red winter coats! Even if you move to Florida!

    6. I fell in love at 46. The relationship is different – less consuming – than love at 22, but the mental connection is much much deeper. It is much better in terms of respect for the person, harder in terms of making adjustments and physical connection, though. (E.g., In my younger years, I was head over heels for a guy who now supports Trump and another who probably doesn’t vote because he is conflicted, and I just cannot think of what mental gymnastics I would have done to hang onto those relationships if they had ended in marriage, as they very well could have done if I had been a person for whom marriage was a goal.) Mine is a love story, or a heartbreak story, in the making, though. I wish I had met him at 22, but I would have probably been too foolish to pursue it then.

      1. +1 to “I just cannot think of what mental gymnastics I would have done to hang onto those relationships if they had ended in marriage”. I definitely look back on a few of my relationships in my 20s, and 1 in my 30s with that feeling.

    7. I had an old friend who was divorced in her early 30’s, dated a ton and got set up with someone at 39. Within a year and a half they had a baby and got married. I also know someone who got married at 45 and Kamala Harris married her husband in her 50’s. It’s never too late!

  6. Any guidance for processing realizations about a breakup? I have a therapist but seeking more. Long story short, thought a guy was a prince, dated for a year, it ended, then I began to find out details about him from work and such that cause it to seem that much of what he told me was untrue (from his career not going as well as he claimed to people he said he was close with who say they barely know him, etc.), causing me to question if he was manipulative or just a pathological liar and whether anything was real, etc. Feeling stupid for being so educated but so easy to manipulate or lie to and questioning my own judgment for not seeing this person for who he is and wondering how I could ever date again if I can’t trust myself.

    1. I feel you!! I dated a narcissist for a year and I was stuck for months after the breakup with the cognitive dissonance of the image I had of him of my head (sweetest-angel-to-ever-exist/prince charming) and the person starting to come out in details (a player/ manipulative / not respectful to women). I think the biggest advice I can give you is:

      1) You are not “easy to manipulate.” Someone manipulated you. There is nothing, short of being hyper-vigilant and constantly thinking someone could be lying, that you could do to prevent that. If someone lies to you, it is them lying. It is not you falling for a lie. Open-heartedness is a virtue and not something to shame yourself for.

      2) Not everyone is like that. It’s not even common. When I got into a healthy relationship, it took me a while to realize how many things I’d started to assume were normal (like, lies or manipulation). But they’re not. Most people aren’t going to intentionally lie about important details of their lives or who they’re friends with. That’s really abnormal, pathological behavior. You can trust yourself and you can trust others.

      If there are major red flags you chose to ignore, maybe interrogate that a bit? I think it also takes a bit of time to get to know someone. Did things move quickly with this guy? Did you have an idea of him before you knew the real him? I personally try to take things really slow now, which I think is a good move in general, not just for avoiding narcissists. Things like don’t garden until you’re in a relationship, don’t get into a relationship before you’ve met people he’s close to, keep your own life even once you’re in a relationship and don’t sacrifice anything or compromise your own boundaries.

      Idk if you’ve watched The Ultimatum, but Colby is a great example of how hard it can be to disentangle yourself from a manipulator. It’s not your fault and you should not think that you can’t trust yourself as a result of being gaslit/manipulated.

    2. Bad people are terrible, and often liars/manipulative. You’re not stupid, he’s just awful and lacks character. I doubt this is a consolation, but you know more signs now than you did before. It might be easier to spot next time another guy like that comes back around.

    3. You should absolutely trust yourself: this isn’t on you. There’s a universal expectation that your partner will be honest with you in a relationship and he gave you no reason to think he would exploit that. I’d be more concerned if you had assumed he WAS lying about his entire life. That would’ve meant you were either unusually paranoid person or very dishonest yourself.

    4. Watch the Tinder Swindler – fascinating on its own, but also for the reassurance that manipulative people can be very, very persuasive to a LOT of women.

      1. And then watch Bad Vegan and realize you would have never fallen for that guy’s foolishness.

        1. I really hate when friends/family back up terrible people’s lies. That show made me furious in parts.

    5. I had a similar experience and it was especially upsetting because it was the first time I felt such dissonance. Usually I could tell if a guy is a jerk, but that one was tough to tell because he was introduced by mutual friends who all swore up and down that he’s the sweetest ever, and he also presented himself as such… lesson now learned, when a guy self proclaims he’s a nice guy that’s a red flag. Looking back I always had a nagging feeling that he made me uncomfortable but I was reluctant to call him out for it in case I was wrong. But it’s so clear to me now he was pushing the boundary a bit at a time to see how far he could cross. I don’t think it’s my failing or yours to be trusting and to give people the benefit of the doubt when in a relationship. It’s on the other person to be honest, decent and kind. Don’t let one bad egg ruin your experience.

    6. Oh boy, my ex was like this in some ways. Everyone loved him at work and when you first meet him he was amazing! But as we dated more I found out he was really just concerned with appearances and rarely out himself in situations he couldn’t control except when he had a girlfriend, me, who wasn’t a total pushover. His temper certainly came out when interacting with me.

  7. Okay, so one of my current goals is to make more of an effort to make more new friends and to be more open to being set up on dates. Am currently in the Miami, FL area but am open to Zoom friends/dates too.

    If anyone here wants a new friend (or an IRL friend since I feel like we’re all already friends here), let’s be friends! Or if anyone has a single/divorced/widowed guy in their life who might be someone to set me up with (seeking 30-49, not seeking someone to have kids with, supportive of a woman with a PhD, liberal views), let’s discuss!
    Please email any time! IAmAnEpicWarrior at the mail of g.

    (no harm in trying, right?!)

    3. Love this, and if were in Miami I’d be ready to meet for a drink!

      But things are quiet here today, probably because of Good Friday, so I would repost on Monday. And you ARE an epic warrior!

    4. Hey lady! I met you almost three years ago and am so, so thrilled that you’ve gotten your PhD and moved to Miami. Congratulations!!

  8. Anyone have a preferred app for learning a new language? I used Duolingo successfully to refresh my Spanish, but when I went back to start from scratch in a new-to-me language, I realized it’s freakin’ terrible for a complete newbie. (There’s no context, it just chucks you right into the mix with contractions and verb tenses. What happened to building a vocabulary base first?)

  9. I’ve run out of Bridgerton to watch. Anything similarly fun and fluffy (but not Outlander) that someone can recommend? I already watched Gilded Age, too.

    1. Have you watched all the Austen miniseries that mostly aired on PBS? There’s one for just about every book, and a few others that are not Austen.

      2. I was almost named Marianne thanks to Kate Winslet’s performance in S&S. Thankfully not, as my personality is 500% more Elinor.

    2. Inventing Anna? I just started it so maybe it gets heavier, but seems pretty fluffy to me.

    3. Check out the BBC historical drama, The Paradise. About a department store in Great Britain. Also, Mr. Selfridge. I loved them both.

    5. Virgin River is good (although more drama than Bridgerton) if you haven’t watched that yet. And Derry Girls is the best thing ever, particularly if you were a teen in the 90s, although more of a straight up comedy.

    6. I’m enjoying Julia on HBO, however episodes are still coming out, week by week, and I have lost my patience for it.
      Love seeing a functional relationship with romance and physical attraction between normal human beings portrayed.

    7. So I didn’t love Season 1 of Bridgerton because of the rape and the way it dealt with the conflict between the two main characters and haven’t watched Season 2, but one of my favorite genres of television is historic + fluffy + beautiful people in gorgeous gowns + a heavy dose of modern morality/feminism/general irreverence (like I like Downtown Abbey but it’s significantly more stuffy/serious/historically accurate than what I’m describing). If this also happens to be your thing, I’d recommend: The Great (Hulu), Reign (Netflix), Dickenson (Apple), Our Flag Means Death (HBO), and Harlots (Hulu).

        1. I also liked season 2 a lot better. It’s a slow burn and the lead couple is really appealing.

    8. Vanity Fair on Amazon Prime is historical romantic drama with the fun edge like Bridgerton and a smart and witty heroine…you’ll love it

    9. I mean I’m sure this goes without saying, but you’ve watched Downton, right? Just checking.

      Also, Poldark. So, so good, and about that same period/type of drama.

      1. I mean of course. Also watched Dr. Thorne (another Julian Fellows one).

        Making a list of all these. Thank you and please keep them coming :)

      3. For Downton fans, Michele Dockery is great in Anatomy of a Scandal. (Not fluffly, obvs, but a good story.)

      1. Sanditon is fluffy fun. If you like gorgeous scenery and gentle drama, All Creatures Great and Small is a cozy cup of tea.

        1. Also, Around the World in Eighty Days was great. More humor than expected and it’s nicely updated for the 21st century.

    11. Check out “The Great” on Hulu if you haven’t already! two seasons so far about Catherine The Great. I really enjoyed the second season quite a bit, it’s a irreverent period drama in the vein of Bridgerton.

    12. I loved Mercy Street and was really sad that they only made two seasons.
      Lately I’ve been watching Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries and for me it’s the right mix of period fun and slow burn romance.
      Belgravia is another Julian Fellowes show that he originally wrote as an audiobook and then made into a miniseries. A little predictable and stolid, though.

    13. Is Upstairs Downstairs streaming anywhere? I remember my mom loving that one when I was little.

    14. Monarch of the Glen – old BBC serial. The first few episodes are better than the later ones.

  10. Any tips on how to navigate Mormon culture in the office? I recently left a European bank for a remote role at a Utah based bank. I’m traveling to meet everyone in a few weeks and the team seems to be almost exclusively Mormon. I’m aware that they don’t drink alcohol or caffeine. It seems like cursing is frowned upon. Are there any other taboos I should be aware of? Am I alright in my go to button down, ankle pants, and loafers?

    1. I’m in California (where there are a lot of Mormons who are from Utah, but not actually Utah so YMMV), but my experience has been that most Mormons understand how their customs differ from mainstream America. Your outfit sounds fine. I had understood that they don’t drink “hot” drinks, which some interpret to mean drinks with caffeine and some interpret to mean drinks that are actually hot, so I know Mormons who drink Diet Coke. FWIW, I don’t know if it’s our particular industries (law and tech), but neither my husband nor I have worked with a single Mormon woman after they had kids – it’s all men.

      1. My Mormon “mom friend” in CA has a full-time job, but she’s not from Utah and her kids are school-age.

      2. Same here, in CA and same industry. I’d say it’s a little goodie two shoes culturally, but also just so very nice. Clothing wise, women are very put together and do their hair and makeup (I’m generalizing but it’s part of the religion – be there in five has a good podcast episode about it). I’d plan to dress more outfity (skewing more Boden less Madewell), not worry about your drinks, watch the swearing, and be very friendly.

    2. Just dress and act conservatively – your outfit seems fine; and right – don’t curse, talk about partying, talk about any dating type adventures unless you’re talking about a long term boyfriend you’re engaged to or something [though I don’t see why that would come up with new coworkers], don’t suggest going out for drinks/coffee. That last one for me is the hardest because when visiting coworkers I don’t see often, it’s often natural to try to grab a 3 pm coffee on a quiet afternoon just to get to know each other or drinks after work if anyone is game; honestly I just wouldn’t bring it up – let them approach it, not you.

    3. The caffeine thing varies widely – my spouse has LDS business partners and they all drink caffeinated soda but no black tea/coffee. Spouse was surprised about all the sugar consumption, but I have a super sweet tooth so I didn’t even notice. Anecdotally, most of the folks around our age had kids that were a good 5-10 years older than our kids because they got married in their early twenties and we were in our early thirties when we had our first kid.

      1. Not in the US, but high sugar consumption in comparable Christian communitys seem to be the norm here, too. Lots of cake and celebrations.

        1. I feel like this would be a great academic paper – sugar consumption and religious practice! I grew up in a conservative Protestant denomination and it wasn’t a church potluck without Jello “salads” and three kinds of cake.

          1. Jello salad? Oh, my. Had to look up that one – looks like something from a book about entertaining at home in the fifties. Fabulous. Here jello like that would be savoury instead, prawns and peas and dill in aspic, or a fish pudding in the same kind of mold.

    4. I worked with several Mormon men in a previous company. It was a small team and we traveled frequently, so I got to know them pretty well. We definitely disagreed on MANY MANY things, and the sexism inherent in their religion/culture was one of the biggest. However, i never felt this came in to play in our professional or personal relationships … it was just how they approached their roles in their marriages. I guess what I’d offer is to err on the side of Extremely Professional (not necessarily just “socially conservative”) and aside from that, try to set aside any unconscious bias. Generalizations ahead, but … you’ll likely be meeting some of the kindest, warmest, most gracious people you’ve ever encountered. Mormons are usually very well-traveled (thanks to their missions) and that can lead to a lot of wonderful conversations. Enjoy!

      1. YES! Lots of traveling. It’s a great conversation topic. Also classical music and/or playing an instrument.

    5. If you have some classic skirts or dresses in your business wardrobe, they would be a good blend in item. Wear with flats.

    6. I grew up Mormon and about 1/2 of one side of my large extended family is still Mormon. The advice you’ve gotten so far is spot on.

      The only thing I’d add is that there is a strong missionary-focus in the church…don’t be surprised if someone over time asks you if you want to go to church or offers a Book of Mormon or a pass along cards (not sure if this is still a thing, it was when I was in high school). I hope that they won’t be pushy or inappropriate (or do it at all!) but just be aware that it’s a thing. You are in a workplace and just visiting, so this will probably be avoided. If it does, just firmly and kindly decline.

      If you do a dinner, they may pray at the beginning (personally, like they’ll bow their head quietly for a min). Just don’t talk to them while they’re doing it, otherwise it may be a slightly awkward moment. I’ve been to business meetings with non-Mormon Christians in Fl and Ohio where this has happened, so

      Pants are totally fine for you! Your whole outfit sounds perfect. Women wear skirts or dresses to church, but pants other times. They don’t wear shorts or skirts above the knee, but since you’re in a bank that probably won’t come up for you.

      No coffee or tea, so get it before you go to the office. If you want a caffeinated soda in the office no one is going to side eye you because half of them drink coke or Pepsi – it’s coffee and tea that are specifically banned. No drinks at dinner, I’d avoid drinks altogether. No smoking.

    7. Ha ha, you can look up Rachel Parcell – the most famous Mormon lifestyle blogger – and I assure you she’s not wearing a button down, ankle pants and loafers – she regularly posts in revealing workout outfits or bikinis (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and has been open about getting br***t enhancement surgery, veneers, and outsize beauty treatments.

  11. This may be super late, but any experiences with Red Wing boots? I like the classic look, but only willing to splurge if they are as durable as advertised.

    1. My husband has had some for 10+ years and he loves them. They’re not mine, so I don’t wear them, but they seem super heavy to me. I imagine they have lighter ones. He wears them as his winter boots.

    2. I hope you see this – I wear Red Wing work boots on construction sites and they are worth every penny. Really comfortable for work boots, but I highly recommend going for an in-store fitting if there’s a store near you.

      I legit cried when I once lost a pair by leaving them at a site when changing shoes and couldn’t find them the next day when I went back. It’s been five years and I still haven’t gotten over it, even though I did go buy a replacement pair.

  12. My dear neighbor just found out that he has prostrate cancer and is starting radiation in a couple of weeks. I would like to make him a gift basket – any ideas of what I could put in it? TIA!

    1. No food, radiation can make you queasy. He will be really tired, so a soft throw and some movies would be good.

      1. Thank you! Appreciate the input! I found a nice cozy blanket to include in the gift.

    2. Late response but —

      Winners from our cancer gift baskets:
      – candy, some chocolate, some not. Yes I was queasy on and off but also sometimes I just wanted candy.
      – cool socks. The nurses notice and then you have a connection. The best ones were like dachshunds with balloons around them. I don’t know if he’s that type of guy, but I loved my chemo socks.
      – an “unworry” painting book. Just paint with water and the colors come. Great when you want something to do but it needs to be really, really easy on the brain.
      – a Simple Modern summit water bottle. They are so good.

      Honestly, I used about half of what I received and passed the rest on, but it was all super touching. I don’t think you can go wrong

  13. Winners from our cancer gift baskets:
    – candy, some chocolate, some not. Yes I was queasy on and off but also sometimes I just wanted candy.
    – cool socks. The nurses notice and then you have a connection. The best ones were like dachshunds with balloons around them. I don’t know if he’s that type of guy, but I loved my chemo socks.
    – an “unworry” painting book. Just paint with water and the colors come. Great when you want something to do but it needs to be really, really easy on the brain.
    – a Simple Modern summit water bottle. They are so good.

    Honestly, I used about half of what I received and passed the rest on, but it was all super touching. I don’t think you can go wrong

  14. I have a phone interview tomorrow and I’m already self sabotaging (I can’t work and take care of three kids, the commute is too far, etc). Good thoughts appreciated!

Comments are closed.