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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
Pictured: Lolita “Love My Martini” “Shopaholic II Martini, 7.5 oz, available at Macys.com for $19.99.
Liz
Why oh WHY have technology if it isn’t working? You can’t pay with Paypal while you’re in a different country than your bank account and such is registered in (even though the bank account is perfectly valid), something about the IP and country combination just doesn’t work. So I can take my car and drive 150 miles and never pass a border checkpoint because we don’t have those in Europe, but I can’t order something while there! Ridiculous. Outraging!
A system that was supposed to be up and running before the start of the new college year is still full of bugs, meaning I can’t sign up for something I wanted to do just yet. The university apparently also never checks their info mail address and the FAQ section is “not yet operational, we’re still working on it”. I’d go and sign up in person for the class but no, you must use the system. Ugh.
MEG
Can anyone suggest a retailer or brand offering sweaters or wool coats that don’t pill? Or, suggest a way to predict if a sweater or jacket will pill? Shop keepers tell me that pilling is normal. I say that’s B.S. Up until five years ago, or so, I could by an average sweater (from say, J. Crew) that didn’t pill. (I have old, pill-free sweaters to prove it.) But, these days, I can’t find a decent sweater under $400+. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Jane
$400+??? Yowser. I’m very happy with the quality at Talbots. Their sweaters are, I’d say, between $80 and $120. Classic and good quality. They also like to make their customers happy. If you keep the receipt and you aren’t happy with the quality after some period of time, they’ll try to make you happy — ie, refund or replace.
MEG
I should clarify — the original price is something like that — I wait until about April when they go on deep discount.
Rebecca
I’ve had a good experience with Anne Klein coats, and, dare I say it here, bought from Overstock.
p.s.
My last experience at Talbot’s happened to be with the stroller and baby in hand and I didn’t get a second look. They didn’t see that this was someone whose maternity leave was ending and was ready to try to make an impression.
Jen
quick question regarding interviews…. if you inquire about their “dress code” and they say business casual/laid back– do you still wear a conservative suit, etc for the interview and risk being over dressed? would love your thoughts!
michelle
yes, always wear a suit to interviews, I’d go pants suit for a more casual office, but dress nicer/more formally for the interview than the job is the rule of thumb
lulu
Jen–YES. No matter how casual the dress code you should wear a suit if you are a “professional” although if you are straight out of undergrad and going for a low-paying non-profit job where you know things are really casual, you might be able to get away with a skirt and button-down without the jacket. To give you an example, I clerked for a judge who truly didn’t have a dress code; it was very common for the clerks conducting interviews to be wearing sweats. That said, I have a hard time imagining that someone who did not wear a suit would get an offer. By wearing a suit you are not going to be overdressed, you will be putting your best foot forward and showing that you can dress conservatively when you need to (for court, meetings, whatever).
KLo
Jen – I agree with lulu! Wear the suit! However, I did interview as a paralegal at a firm where I subsequently got made fun of if I wore anything nicer than jeans or sweats; when I interviewed there I wore a gorgeous muted paisley blazer with a wine colored blouse and chocolate pants. Almost every day I worked in that office I out-dressed the attorneys, including the interview. But again, it was for a position as a paralegal, not an attorney.
lulu
This reminds me of my first day clerking–I dressed down because I knew that I would be out of place in a suit. But since it was my first day, I still wore a skirt and jacket. At the end of the day, the girl training me said that I really should wear jeans the next day because I was making everyone else look bad. :)
Ruth
Meg, thank you for your post! I thought I had been going crazy – I have been hearing the same silly reply at stores, yet wondering why my 10-year old wool sweaters from the GAP are of better quality than much of what is on the shelves today (same goes for much cotton, which is no longer opaque, not to mention the difficulty of finding well-made simple cotton underwear). There is so much synthetic fabric added to everything these days that everything below a certain (very high) price range is thin, see-through, and falls apart very quickly. Also, hard to find linings. I think one may just have to buy fewer clothes at higher price or work a lot harder to find bargains. Anyone have any good suggestions?
Emily
I an encountering this same problem. My brand new sweater from Loft (albiet not the priciest item) pilled up after a couple wears. I don’t have the kind of cash to buy disposable sweaters!
NC Lawyer
I an encountering this same problem. My brand new sweater from Loft (albiet not the priciest item) pilled up after a couple wears. I don’t have the kind of cash to buy disposable sweaters!
Mel
I agree with everyone else. If you are applying for a professional position, wear a suit. If it is something like an administrative assistant or a job where you’re supposed to be more creative, something like a blazer instead of a matching suit might be more appropriate.
Steph
I have been very happy with Sutton Studio cashmere from Bloomingdale’s in the past few years. I usually buy a few things at the beginning of the season and then wait until February/March and stock up.
Sarah
Happy Weekend everyone! I have a phone interview for my dream job this week. The job is on the other side of the country and honestly, it would be the best thing to happen in my professional career. But I’m worried about how to answer the salary range question. Does anyone have an artful way to get around the ‘what are you salary requirements’ question?
Meg: Did you ever use one of those pill removers? They make them just for sweaters. In a pinch, a disposable razor will do it too. I’ve used it not just on sweaters but on wool suits that pill up too!
MEG
Yes, but I think something is terribly wrong when you are expected to shave your clothes. To me it says that both manufacturers and customers are comfortable with poor quality.
dr
A new dilemma. In my professional and collegiate years, we all polished our long nails – clear, pinks, reds. Over the past 2-3 years (a blip in my career) there’s the pattern of everyone sporting short nails (i.e., to the fingertip) and polishing them. I have always thought that a polished short nail makes the hand/fingers look “stumpy.”
When I’m not doing intensive gardening or renovation work outside the office hours, I want to polish my nails. Am I now to take it that the short nails ought to be polished? What’s the rule of thumb here? (pardon the pun)
All of the polishes out there are just that in my view – out there. Especially the dark blacks and the neons in candy colors. Not to overlook the decals, embedded stuff, and sparkles – we all know those aren’t professional. What’s the thought on colors? Even “Real Simple” recently touted greys and blues.
Here’s to counting down the days until another holiday weekend! Cheers.
Ashley
DR – I wear my nails short because otherwise I find typing is much more difficult. I switch it up between a nude, light pink, cream, and french. On the weekends, I sometimes play around with the blacks, greys, and blues (I saw that in Real Simple, too and was a bit surprised). For the most part, I think a nice french looks very classy and professional, yet doesn’t “stump” the finger too much.
KH
RE: Sweaters – I am not knowledgeable enough to give the whole answer, but it it is a quality issue having to do with “Ply” and the length of the fibers. Google “sweater quality” and you’ll find more details.
RE: Salary question – Just like a regular negotiation – you stall. 1st answer is “I am looking for a position that allows me to make a substantive contribution and offers opportunities for advancement. I’m sure that if we both agree that we are a fit that money will not be a barrier.” 2nd answer is: “I think we both know that salary levels are not what they were and I take that into account as I am considering my options. Nevertheless, I bring (XY and Z skills/credentials/clients) and am a fit for the job because of AB and C) and I trust that any offer you make to me will fairly reflect this” 3rd answer is: My understanding from Salary.com (or whereever) is that position such as this ….. in this market…. is currently valued at between (the lowest range you see + 5K and the top of that range +5K). Good luck.
KH
Ooops – In answer #3, I should have written “in this geographic market…” I was not at all conceding “in this salary-depressed market…”
Dannie
Jewelry etiquette question here…
I have a pair of classic white 7mm pearl studs that I wear almost every day to work because they are simple and I absolutely adore them. My husband just bought me a lovely 10mm tahitian pearl solitaire necklace that would be perfect for work.
Can I wear my white pearl earrings with my new necklace or would I be committing some kind of faux pas? Any advice is welcome… couldn’t find guidance on mixing colors .
Delta Sierra
I think the white earrings and black solitaire would be gorgeous together. With a black and white outfit: wow. With anything else except browns and beiges: also wow.
carissa
Dannie – I wouldn’t mix the colors of pearls (unless the necklace had both colors in it). Its a great excuse to look for some new earrings. I got a pair, to match a necklace my husband had given me, at a fancy costume/travel jewelry place. I was looking for something to match the new necklace, not investment worthy.
Marla
Re: nail colors — when in doubt, Essie ballet slippers is a lovely pale pink. Just about every nail salon I’ve ever been to has had it when that was what I wanted, or you can buy it and do your nails yourself. You can also just buff your nails so they are shiny but not polished.
You can also go into a nail salon and ask the manicurist what she recommends for a conservative polish with your skin tone. (Note that this may work better in some situations than others, but if you’re going into a salon in a business district, they probably are doing more along the pale pinks, etc. than they are in the neon or bright blue, at least for fingernails!)
Jane
Back to the salary question: It’s ideal if you can get them to name a figure first, to which you simply respond, “I’d consider that.” It tells them exactly that — you’d consider it; let’s keep the conversation going; but it doesn’t commit you to any number; you can negotiate more later when things get specific.
The trick is getting them to name a figure first.
What you can also do is tell them what you were making at your last job, then ask them what their range is. If they name a figure much lower than your last salary, you can say, “Well, even though that lower than what I was making, I’d still consider that, because this job sounds wonderful because . . . . , but let’s keep talking . . . ”
Your goal is to keep the discussion going so they fall in love with you. Then they’ll be willing to negotiate.
housecounsel
I am obsessive about weekly manicures, but I wear my nails very short and always polished with Essie Ballet Slippers or Mademoiselle, or OPI Bubble Bath. All are lovely pinky neutrals.
I might switch to a classic red between Christmas and New Year’s, but I save the crazy colors for my toes.
housecounsel
PS I wouldn’t mix the pearls.
Sarah
Dr: I used to work in magazines and let me tell you, they tout whatever their advertisers are pushing this season. Don’t be swayed. You have to do what you are comfortable with. I think we would all agree that it’s hard to be taken seriously at work with green or blue nails. I think short nails look best with at least clear polish. It makes the hands look well groomed.
KH: Thank you so much! Those are really helpful answers. I really appreciate your insight.
eplawyer
When I was in high school ( we rode dinosaurs to school, in the snow, uphill both ways), weird nail colors were popular then too. I wore blue. Dad said I looked oxygen deprived. So, avoid blue.
After getting my hair done, nails are the next step. I am going to look at the suggested brands.
dr
thanks everyone on the polish ideas. different colors on toes and fingers/ Now I really do feel old (or is that just conservative) ! :) I was in high school when we wore toe socks – does that count as different colors? And there were no cell phones, computers only ran the Apollo program to the Moon, and I did my Ph.D. dissertation on punch cards for the statistics and typed it one page at a time on a – gasp, electric typewriter – an improvement from the manual olivettis in high school. What a blast or dinosaur from the past.
Here’s to another great week of fashion, debate, sussing out finds, and support. thanks.
LA
Sarah’s (soon to be amazing) salary — KH’s comments are spot on! Good luck with the interview. For phone interviews, I recommend standing up. Your voice will naturally be more energized. Also, I find that I have to work harder at not interrupting when I’m in “interview mode” and even more so on the phone between coasts.
nail polish — I prefer “American” to “French” manicures, the difference being a less stark contrast between the white tips and base color. If I’m going with a color, I often bring my own (new) bottle so I can do touch ups or another coat at home to cover chipping later. I buy brands that are as good or better than nail salons (OPI is a good one and their Nail Envy base coat is worth the investment to address splitting, etc.).
pearls — Personally, I wouldn’t mix white studs with Tahitian necklace, unless there were white pearls in the necklace as well. Definitely take the necklace with you to shop for earrings as Tahitian pearl colors vary widely.
nyc-anon-associate
Eplawyer — when I was in high school I painted my toenails black, and my Dad (jokingly) asked how I managed to bruise every single one of my toes. When everyone started wearing black or very dark nail polish a few years ago, I would think about his comment when I’d see some girl with dark nails