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I keep coming back to this blouse in the Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale for some reason — it's not that exciting, but sometimes you just want a basic, easy white blouse you can wear with jeans or work pants, you know?
The machine washable shirt is $69 full price, but select colors are on sale for $31-$49. The pictured white version is $49, with most sizes still in stock.
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Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Cocktail dress
Hello, Can this be worn to a black tie optional event where cocktail dresses are ok?
https://www.toryburch.com/en-us/clothing/dresses/waisted-v-neck-poplin-dress/157284.html?color=477
Anon
No, poplin is not a fancy enough fabric.
Anonymous
I agree. Great dress for many other occasions, though.
Cat
Lovely, but this is more of a day dress (think Princess Kate at Wimbledon) vs. evening.
Peloton
Gorgeous dress. Sadly, too informal for that dress code (assuming the host is competent with dress codes). I am giving you permission to buy it anyway.
Loofah
Unfortunately no, it’s a great dress but not for black tie optional. Fancy lunch or wedding/baby shower guest (in the blue) would be perfect.
Anon
OP here, will a black jersey knee length dress with a tulip hem work?
Cat
Jersey is another material that’s pretty casual… if it’s black tie optional some women may be in actual gowns…
Anonymous
No. Jersey is also a day fabric.
Anon
There are definitely jerseys that could be used in evening wear. I don’t think just knowing it’s jersey is enough information to make that call.
Loofah
Unless the cut was very formal, I don’t think the jersey would work either.
I found a handful on Nordstrom that are $100 or under, I’ll post links so check back.
Loofah
Versatile: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/julia-jordan-knot-neck-halter-dress/6522619?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FBrands%2FJulia%20Jordan&color=001
Not sure if the belt is included: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/mock-neck-satin-midi-dress/7673240?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FCocktail%20%26%20Party&color=696
Also versatile: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/dress-the-population-elle-sweetheart-neck-sheath-midi-dress/5532926?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FCocktail%20%26%20Party&color=302
A little pricier, but I think this would work too. https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=882648012&cid=69883&pcid=69883&vid=1&nav=meganav%3AWomen%3AWomen%27s%20Clothing%3ADresses%20%26%20Jumpsuits&cpos=20&cexp=2252&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D69883&cvar=17249&ctype=Listing&cpid=res24053113193046711940805#pdp-page-content
Anon
I tried this on yesterday.
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/alex-evenings-side-ruched-cocktail-dress-regular-petite/4045719?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&fashionsize=size%2FWomens%20Clothing%2F2%2C%20XS&color=022
Anon
Thank you for the links.
Anon
Is anyone watching Elspeth? I want all of the long colorful coats now. Where can I find a show with a similar vibe?
Anon
Ugh — sorry for the mis-thread here
Anon
check out Boden
Anon
I’m going to agree with the majority and say probably not, but I don’t think you’ve provided enough info. Is it a work thing or a wedding/friend/family event? Where in the country is it happening? Do you already own the dress? If it’s a big giant work event, say at a conference and you own it already, I’d accessorize it and wear it. If it’s a wedding in California in the wine country, I’d probably wear it too. If it’s a southern event at a mansion, absolutely not.
Anon
This is for a charity event in the evening with work colleagues. I have the same color and style from a different brand. Is this too casual too?
https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=882608022&cid=1178126&pcid=1178236&vid=3&nav=meganav%3AWomen%3Amore%20sizes%3APetites#pdp-page-content
Cat
That looks great. The difference is it’s silk.
Anon
Awesome, already own this and will accessorize it. I did buy the Tory Burch but it can go back.
Anon
FWIW, I love that TB and think you could get a lot of use out of it as an office dress.
Senior Attorney
Agree, keep the TB for more casual occasions.
Anonymous
any great TV shows to recommend? i’ve been in a rut lately. caught up on ghosts and bridgerton, finished Shogun and the bear. didn’t like girls 5 eva, mr. & mrs. smith, and the gentlemen, but didn’t get very far in any of them.
Anon
Have you already watched the Crown?
Anon
Hacks (on Max) finished Season 3 yesterday and is renewed for another season. Best show on TV right now IMO.
I’ve also been enjoying Loot on AppleTV+
Seventh Sister
I *adore* Hacks, the writing is really great and it’s fun but heartfelt. If you have Netflix, I noticed that Six Feet Under is on it and watched a few episodes. It’s still an amazing show.
Cora
Interview with a Vampire
Anonymous
The Diplomat
The Sympathizer
Hacks
Davis
Thanks to you and it’s other anon for The Diplomat. Loved it!
Anon
Have you watched The Diplomat on Netflix?
Anonymous
If you thought you might like Girls 5eva, The Other Two is similar but I think better
anon
Thanks for reminding me about The Other Two. I started it but it didn’t click. Should try again.
Anonymous
I did the same but went back and I think it gets better.
Senior Attorney
Under the Bridge on Hulu is great if you like crime dramas.
The Big Door Prize on Apple+
Ted Lasso, of course, if you haven’t seen it already.
There’s a new season of Doctor Who on Disney Plus and they are being very good about making it accessible for people who have never seen it before (plus it’s also great for longtime fans)
Only Murders in the Building and Reservation Dogs on Hulu
Anon
Girls 5 Eva was such a let down. Good premise, flat characters. Summer was a try-hard Alexis (schitt’s creek), with the facial expressions and hair twirling.
If you have Apple TV, I’m also liking Loot and loved Severance
anon
That last episode of Severance was wild.
Anonymous
The Night Agent
Anon
Lessons in chemistry was good!
Jules
We just finished the first season of Poker Face (Natasha Lyonne channels Lt. Columbo) on Peacock and loved it.
anon
She is really talented.
Anan
Shows I’ve enjoyed lately:
Starstruck
Acapulco
The Gilded Age
Seventh Sister
Someone referred to The Gilded Age as lifesize American Girl Dolls being b*tches to each other and it’s kind of true. I love it.
Anonymous
The Night Manager.
A pet peeve of mine is when ppl recommend a series with the caveat that “you have to watch multiple seasons before it gets good.” Ain’t nobody got time fo dat!
Anonymous
If you are referring to my comment above, I mean a few/four episodes, not a few seasons.
anonshmanon
I’m rewatching Grace and Frankie with DH right now. Easy to watch, funny and heartfelt.
Pompom
Call the Midwife.
Anon
Fallout! Enjoyed by a variety of people in my family including older non video games enthusiasts
Anon
Hacks is great. I’m part way through The Sympathizer, and enjoying it so far. I also liked Platonic and Slow Horses on Apple (plus Bad Sisters and Shrinking, if you haven’t seen those yet).
Anon
I loved season 1 of The Girls on the Bus on Max. I’m heart-broken it’s not getting renewed…
Anon
I really liked the first season of We Are Lady Parts, and the second season just came out on Peacock this week, though I haven’t seen it yet. The movie Polite Society is by the same director and is streaming somewhere too, I think on Prime?
Kailua_Girl
Derry Girls – so funny and sweet!
Anon
Does anyone have a product they can recommend for me – I have been getting very small clogged pores on my chest, stomach and back area. I know “pores” isn’t the right word but I don’t know how to describe it. I think I need a stronger body wash but not sure how to treat this…
Anonymous
Stridex pads have helped me. Very affordable. They make larger pads for the body.
Anon
Stridex pads in the green tub, or the larger ‘body’ sized ones will clear this right up. I also keep them on hand in the summer for swim season as they work great to help clear up KP/ingrown hairs by gently disolving the gunk in your pores to let the hair/keratin out.
Anon
Look for something that you leave on that has salicylic acid in it. Body washes aren’t on your skin long enough to be effective.
Make sure you’re washing your body after you rinse your conditioner. Conditioner can be very pore clogging.
Anon
Any shampoo or conditioner with dimethicone will do it to me. I still use them because I like the silky hair, but once I’m done rinsing my hair I claw clip it up and scrub the living hell out of my skin from the neck hairline down using a bath brush and goats milk soap.
Fellow Clogged Anon
I get cystic acne often and find that using azaelic acid (from the ordinary) helps immensely with exfoliating my skin and I always think my skin looks brighter and clearer after I use it (like the day of). I’ve also used TO’s glycolic acid 7% toner and it exfoliates well too but I use it less often, maybe twice a week whereas I use AA every morning.
Traveling
Anyone have any suggestions re traveling to Turks & Caicos with kids? We are headed there next month and already have hotel/flight/rental car booked. Kids are daycare/elementary aged. TIA
Anonymous
Unless it’s changed in the past year, the airport is about the size of a postage stamp and it cannot handle the volume of passengers going through it. What this meant for us is that when we departed, we waited about an hour to just check our luggage (it’s the only way we travel with kids and maintain our sanity). Then the actual terminal is TINY, and it is holding 5 airbus planes’ worth of people and has maybe 50 chairs and one concession stand. So, with kids, make sure you have snacks and all devices are charged. I loved everything else about our trip there in 2023!!
anon
Echo all of this.
Might I also put in a plug for the local ER (ha, but really…)? DD had a major freak allergic reaction to something environmental within 12 hours of landing. The hotel (Beaches) escorted us to/from ER in the middle of the night and the staff was lovely. Doctors all trained in Canada, honestly could not have been easier. Quick hit on the nebulizer, a does of oral steroids and we were good to go. Local pharmacy was great too the next day. I hope you don’t have to see the inside of the ER, but thumbs up experience all around on T&C… except for the airport, which was exactly as described above.
Anon
+1 the airport is really really terrible, even by Caribbean standards. On our most recent trip there, the airport reached capacity and started turning away flights mid-air. A bunch of people were diverted to the DR, which meant there weren’t planes arriving to take people away. We met people who’d been trying to get off the island for 3 or 4 days straight. Our experience wasn’t that bad but we got home 12 hours late on what was supposed to have been a non stop flight.
We love the Beaches resort but have basically decided not to go back because of the airport.
Risked Credit
Bring a suitcase full of snacks, pancake mix for the week and syrup. Get the add water only option for pancakes. I also had two boxes of pasta and a huge box of cereal. Water bottles are very needed as its so expensive to buy bottled. The tap water is fine.
My now ex husband called me the crazy lady but, when we got there, I sent him to the supermarket he came back with two bottles of local rum for himself and said thank goodness ‘we’ brought all the food with us. It was $12 for a box of cereal when it was $4 at target. If you are self catering bring your own frying pan and flipper.
There are lots of drunk drivers at night and they drive on the wrong side which is confusing for me being British and used to driving in the US.
Anon
If anyone in your party is a hunter, make sure he’s emptied his luggage of stray bullets.
Anon
Lol
Cat
I Did the Thing – I’d paid a dr’s office bill directly through my insurance portal using my FSA. Kept getting bills in the mail. Thought they’d eventually figure it out and stop. They didn’t. I finally called, spoke to the billing assistant, and it turns out they’d gotten the check from the FSA but it didn’t say which patient it related to. It had been sitting on the assistant’s desk for 3 months. 10 minutes and done.
Anonymous
Good for you! I have a few similar tasks for today.
But sorry to say, you may also need to call the FSA and check if this is a bad procedure or just a one-time mistake/failure.
Cat
My takeaway here is that I’ll just be calling the office to pay by cc (which they allow) and reimbursing myself. No way was this a one-off problem or something that I trust will work next time even if promised!
Peloton
Always amazing how these things sit on our brains for months and are resolved in 5-10 minutes, isn’t it?
Anonymous
Since this seems to be “Aging Week”, for those who have been through peri and/or menopause – How have you addressed this with your partner and how was it received? I am 50 and doing very well so far. Until recently, the only symptom was irregular periods. Over the last few months, I have been experiencing extreme fatigue resulting in a disordered sleep schedule and then for the first time since early 20s a day of PMS (I’ve been very lucky). Based on discussions with friends and some searching, I think this is hormonal related to perimenopause. My somewhat younger partner does not seem to get it and is frustrated with my reports of tiredness and sleep issues that are affecting my ability to be as active as I was just a few months ago. I am, too, believe me. But when I say I think it is hormonal, and that I may need to see a doctor to get back on track, and it might take some experimentation, he has really dismissed it. I don’t want him to start picturing me as an old lady, so I haven’t been as blunt as I could. But I guess I may need to and take the consequences.
Loofah
It kind of sounds like you have a partner problem. Is he dismissive of other concerns you’ve had, or is this the first time?
I’m married and going through perimenopause somewhat early (38, started about 18 months ago). I’m really open and honest about what I’m experiencing, and it’s been met with the same understanding as other health issues I’ve experienced.
Anon
Agree this is a partner problem. My husband is my age so perhaps that helps things, but generally I’d expect more understanding. I’ve also said it before but if your partner is a legal spouse, then you got a different problem than if your partner is a boyfriend. If this guy is a boyfriend, I’d think real hard about whether this is what you want for yourself as time goes on.
Anonymous
There are going to be consequences for you not being 100% energy and health and youthfulness? I’m sorry to hear that.
If “somewhat younger”hasn’t made any difference until now, then I can see how it would unsettle you to need to change that dynamic and introduce “aging” into the relationship. But . . . you’re never going to be the same ages, and you’ll always be older than him so you’ll (likely) be hitting the aging milestones first. So this conversation is only going to be the first of many times when the two of you talk about or deal with aging. He will need to learn to hear what you’re saying and get more comfortable with the fact that his wife is facing some genuine physical effects of genuine physical processes.
anon
That stinks…. I’m a little concerned about his dismissiveness vs. concern/support. Is this the first time either of you has had a heath issue?
I would see your primary care doctor, and if you don’t have a gynecologist with an interest in perimenopause, start asking your friends/PCP for recs. There are other things that can can mess with your sleep/cause fatigure and you want to just rule those out. But definitely sleep disruption (for the first time in my life), mood lability, fatigue and crazy cycles/bleeding were my first major signs of perimenopause.
pink nails
+1 to all of this second paragraph. Based on your partner’s initial reaction, I would make the appointments and go to them without going into extreme detail or making sure he understands or was “on board”… Like I wouldn’t hide them and I would keep my partner looped in, but you definitely don’t need his full buy in for you to pursue medical treatment for this.
anon
Is he usually dismissive of health stuff, or is this a new thing? Unfortunately, perimenopause and menopause have flown under the radar for so long that many people (women included) are clueless about what that really means. My hunch is that you may need to be very blunt for him to start getting it.
As a comparison, I’m on the very early end of things (age 44). I have been through many reproductive health issues, and my DH has been there for all of them and has been incredibly supportive. But perimenopause? Doesn’t really get it. So I keep talking about it, and it’s finally sinking in that this is a long process, not something that just happens overnight.
I guess my advice to you depends on what your relationship is like generally and if you’ve faced health stuff together before.
Anon
My husband is a bit paranoid about aging – for himself. Largely because his parents didn’t age well – one didn’t age at all, actually.
So when I started showing more visible signs of aging it sort of made him paranoid about both of us aging, but he repeats that the most positive outcome is that we age together. He also promises me that when I’m a “little old lady” he will still be chasing me around the bedroom ;)
Anon
I went on a low-dose pill in my 40s largely to blunt the impact of very irregular periods and other symptoms and highly recommend for that. Talk to your In and read the menopause manifesto book. Peri is the worst.
CK
I did the same at 52 and it’s improved my quality of life tremendously!
Same
Assuming your partner is not generally dismissive and even more so if the person is a man, I speculate the problem may be ignorance. I discovered that my husband, who has a mother and a sister and an ex-wife with whom he has a daughter, knew almost nothing about female reproductive systems and hormones before I met him; and I’m getting similar stories from my friends about their husbands. Women don’t understand a lot of it, and men understand even less. I would start with educating him in whatever way he prefers to be educated. If he likes to read, hand a book or some articles to him. If he watches YouTube, hook him up with some videos. The resources are usually aimed toward women, but men can and should consume them also if those men have women in their lives.
My DH has come a long way toward understanding peri and menopause, and I haven’t started the process yet. I wanted him to have some background before it began.
Anon
Tons of people get hormonal issues with these symptoms in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. I wouldn’t make it about aging. Hopefully he’s not dismissive of hormonal issues requiring medical treatment in general?
Anonymous
I guess I don’t know. It’s never come up. The only health issues either of us has had are COVID (he was kind of dismissive of my worse case) and workout injuries (he totally understands these but response is generally some rest and then working through them). I think in this instance, though, I am thinking this may be just the beginning of what is likely to be a barrage of symptoms over a few years.
Cat
how have you faced other challenges as a couple? bc his attitude is annoying me through the screen.
Anon
Men can be pretty clueless if their approach has always been to rest and then work through stuff till it goes away and it’s worked out for them so far. If he doesn’t see doctors much, he may not really get it.
Meanwhile you may need to be checked out to make sure it’s not perimenopause plus (where the plus could be some relatively common issue like low thyroid that also needs addressing). I personally have every intention of treating perimenopause pretty aggressively; I just don’t have it in me to go back to the days of getting PMS like when I was fifteen!
Anonymous
Yeah, it was a big deal when he went to urgent care for a prescription for a minor issue this year. I’m not sure he’d seen a doctor in the ten years prior. But I also have had one doctor’s visit, a telehealth call, and a minor urgent care visit since 2018.
anon
So he’s been exceptionally lucky to never have any health issues in adulthood and instead of realizing what a gift that is, he decides to be completely clueless and dismissive of what his partner might be dealing with. Not great.
Anon
I think some people do realize what a gift it is but are also superstitious about holding onto it… like somehow seeing doctors or approaching things medically will manifest more health issues, which can be a frightening prospect? It’s not rational but it’s almost like they discourage other people from “heading down that path” (as if it’s a choice!).
Same
I think a lot if not most men don’t have reasons to see doctors before they’re 50. My dad, my brother, and my husband didn’t/don’t. When DH and I got married, I told him he had to start going for a mole check annually. Along with the dentist, that’s the only medical care he gets or seems to need at the age of 45. He now will have to start seeing more docs because he’s 45 and that means more screenings. My brother of a similar age is the same. And my dad was the same until he got to his mid-40s. Men’s bodies are a lot less complex than women’s. But I don’t think they give it much thought. Kinda like I don’t think about how well my neck works every day until I sleep funny and then can barely move. We take what we have for granted.
Anon
Even men have some screenings to do before they’re 45 (A1C, lipids). (Not that they go get them done!)
anon
Wow… so many things that should be checked in men who ?don’t go to the doctors. Just the number of men I know who had high blood pressure/cholesterol in the 30s and 40s even though they were “healthy”, or early skin cancers, sleep apnea, hemorrhoids (and then dismiss early signs of colon cancer), reflux. And never mind those that skip the dentist.
Men actually tend to have more of these untreated/later diagnosed issues than women, because of the tendency towards more male ?denial/neglect/avoidance.
Anon
He sounds like kind of a pain, honestly. He’s “dismissive” of any health problems you have that are worse than his or that he doesn’t, personally, experience. He’s ignorant because he doesn’t listen and learn. This isn’t a being younger thing, this is a him thing.
Risked Credit
Is he frustrated because you are complaining and not being proactive booking an appointment or dismissive because he is being a d**k?
Either way, I highly recommend midi health to everyone because THEY SAVED MY LIFE with helping me when my hormones started going out of whack. I love them. They are so wonderful. If they cover your area, I highly recommend giving them a try for anything peri and or menopause related.
https://www.joinmidi.com/
Anonymous
It’s shitty that we’re worried our partners will think we’re old because we are experiencing normal parts of aging. I think you have lots of advice on the partner part, so I will say those are definite signs of peri. I have struggled with sleep for around 8 months. Even though my doctors acknowledged it was likely hormonal, they didn’t offer any help. I found a menopause specialist and just started HRT at 45. I wasn’t going to be miserable any longer.
anon
Good for you. Shame on your doctors.
Anon
I have hot flashes and partner has been v supportive. Libido has dropped and I sometimes struggle to o…..but he’s been awesome after a few chats. Sounds like you have a partner issue, not a menopause one.
Annie Q
I was having 10-15 vicious hot flashes a day, 13 years after going through menopause. By “vicious” I mean breaking into a sweat but also feeling slightly nauseated and extremely irritable. I resolved to dive into the internet and not come back without something that would help . . . and I found something. One of the contributors to hot flashes is increased norepinephrine. I found a study in which green tea extract was observed to lower norepinephrine, so I started taking it. My hot flashes decreased to 1-3 warm flashes a day, with no irritability or nausea. I stopped taking it and the HFs came back; I restarted it and HFs dropped again. I waited a couple of weeks and then did the stop and start thing again — same result. A few months later I ran out of GTE so did the stop and start thing again involuntarily — same result. I have seen internet posts talking about GTE increasing norepinephrine rather than decreasing it, so I’m a little confused about the mechanism, but I don’t really care. Being free of the curse of nasty HFs is unbelievable after all these years.
Anonymous
Anonymous, setting aside your partner’s issues, you mentioned somewhere in the comments that you haven’t really seen a doctor except once since 2018 – are you excluding preventive screenings and checkups? If you are 50 you should be getting regular mammograms, have a colonoscopy, annual check ups with your internist and probably an annual pap smear, among other things. If you want to maintain good health, please don’t just ignore routine screenings!
anon
Yeah, I wondered about this too. Her head is in the sand too, so perhaps her partner’s response is not so surprising!
Anonymous
It’s also possible that her symptoms could be from something other than peri. I know experiences vary wildly with this but extreme fatigue and sleep problems could be related to a number of medical issues other than hormones and/or that could be treated independently, such as anemia.
Anon.
My fatigue was sleep apnea.
Anon
Agree. The symptom OP describes was not part of peri for me.
Anon
Can anyone give any personal suggestions of tops like this that are made of natural fibers? I ordered and returned about $250 of clothes over Memorial Day. I’m looking for short sleeved tops that I can wear to work that aren’t skin tight, have weird cut outs, and aren’t weirdly smocked/puffed/ruffled. Out of 8 tops from a variety of stores I wound up with 3 I kept. I thought the Jcrew Factory cotton shirts would work but they were literally see through, ditto with Ann Taylor. If anyone else is also looking, these sweaters from Boden are great but I feel like two is enough:
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/catriona-cotton-crew-t-shirt-navy-rich-emerald/sty-k0916-dnv
Anon
Have you checked out Faherty, Marine Layer or Eileen Fisher (they had some cute windowpane print gauze shirts.) Gap had some linen t-shirts I liked.
Anonymous
nice — is the boden tee a sweater? “cotton crew” sounds like jersey but the images look like sweater
Anon
Yes, it’s a light sweater. It’s made out of 100% cotton and has a crew neck, hence the name. I wore a TON of these types of sweaters back in the early 2000s to my formal office under suit jackets, it’s nice to see them coming back!
Anonymous
Try Sezane
Anonymous
Amour Vert has washable silk tops.
Risked Credit
Velvet graham and spencer
Not everything but a lot of their clothes are made of natural fibers. It;s more expensive than Jcrew, Boden and Ann Taylor but I find its better value as these items last a lot longer. I love their crew tshirt and crew tank top. They are two years old and look like they are new.
https://velvet-tees.com/products/masie-linen-tank-top?variant=47567304523969
https://velvet-tees.com/products/dayana-printed-silk-cotton-voile-boho-top?variant=47808351469761
https://velvet-tees.com/products/fraser-printed-silk-cotton-voile-top?variant=47567301869761
https://velvet-tees.com/products/paulette-floral-button-front-top?variant=47566968783041
This is casual for me:
https://velvet-tees.com/products/magson-crew-neck-tank-top?variant=47566967636161
Anonymous
Lands End makes great pima cotton t-shirt sweaters
Jamie
Any ideas where to get lightweight sweaters that are vneck, plus size with sleeves length somewhere between cap and elbow? They can be cotton or polyester or other materials just no linen or wool at all please. TIA.
RiskedCredit
Take a look at m&s. I have the first but not the second as I don’t do well with manmade materials.
https://www.marksandspencer.com/us/cotton-rich-ribbed-collared-knitted-top/p/P60651345.html#index=0
https://www.marksandspencer.com/us/soft-touch-v-neck-knitted-top/p/P60651490.html?dwvar_P60651490_color=KP&pid=P60651490&quantity=1#index=0
Anonymous
thanks for the Boden suggestion! that bright blue is exactly what I need for work (it’s my college color and we take our sports rivalries seriously)
Anonymous
If you can wear a nice T-shirt, the Gap Modern T’s are dressy, have elbow-length sleeves, and a substantial, not see through, cotton-modal blend. I did go up a size to get a looser fit, but I’m also gaining weight.
Shoes?
If you could only own one shoe to take to work travels which one would you? Links esp appreciated! Yes I’m the poster from this morning getting sick of my travel woes with overpacking!
Anon
Naturalizer loafers with a chunky sole. Naturalizer for me specifically because they do wide sizes in a lot of their styles. Loafer with a chunky sole because they’re flat, substantial enough to wear with wide-legged pants, and also look just fine with dresses.
Anon
Something with a similar shape to either the Starling (leather smoking slipper) or the Vesper (loafer with a slight heel) by Birdies. Sleek enough to wear with both skirts/dresses and pants. Pick either cognac or black depending on what you wear more of. I usually wear Rothys or fashion sneakers on the plane and then pack leather shoes for the office.
Cat
I cannot just wear one pair for both my feet’s sake and the shoes’ – would wear Rothy’s or Birdies type flats for travel and then alternate them with one other pair that’s packed. Whether that’s flats or heels or whatever would depend on the type of meetings.
Anon
I only wear birdies flats for my whole life now. Work, travel, out. I love how light and easy they are. I have smartwool no-show (they do show a bit)socks that I wear with them.
Anon
I bring Dansko loafers that I’ve had for years. In the winter, my Dansko oxfords. They work with dresses or pants and are sturdy and comfortable. I concede that Danskos are usually hideous, but they sometimes have non-fugly options. I feel like I was able to find some that are fine enough looking so that nobody can tell they’re comfort shoes.
Anon
I know for a fact Dansko works for this even for difficult feet and tons of walking.
I’ve worn Blondo boots as the only shoes for winter destinations with winter clothing and no regrets despite walking everywhere.
Nesprin
Cole Haan Oxfords. They’re sneakers I can wear with a suit and look cute with a dress.
Liz
Cole Haan has a leather black sneaker. It is very versatile for skirts, jeans, dresses, etc. Definitely look at this brand, like the oxfords mentioned above.
Anon
Co-sign. I have them in black and cognac and they are work horses (and hold up well). They are also often on sale.
Anon
Tods loafers.
Anonymous
weird question but how are we feeling about purses in general? i have always been a big bag girl but i’m barely carrying one at all anymore because apple pay has become so easy to use. but i’m in a car-based suburb and i WFH, so maybe it’s just me?
JTM
I was also a big bag girl for a long time, for the past couple of years I’ve been slimming down. My most carried bags now are smaller crossbody bags. I can’t go 100% bag-free so a small crossbody is about as small as I’ll go.
Anon
I almost never use my leather handbags anymore. I’m either using a Kipling crossbody or a lululemon belt bag. Same as you, I’m in a suburb and I WFH.
When I do go into my office (a few times a year), I don’t see anyone carrying designer leather bags or anything like that. I use a tote and drop the belt bag inside.
I don’t really know what to do with my leather bags, holding onto them for now because they’re difficult/expensive to replace, but they don’t really work with my lifestyle. I find them heavy now.
NY CPA
I get why many people have slimmed down but I’m a carries-her-life-with-her-everywhere kind of gal and still love a big bag, except for the fanciest of occassions. Small bags just don’t allow me to carry everything I personally feel I need–a lot of this is driven by my anxiety though. If I wasn’t dealing with that, I think a small crossbody would be fine.
Anon
Same. I’m 35 and it seems the trendy people have tiny bags or cheap canvas totes. I’m a mom so I rotate between a canvas tote for work (super casual office) and a lululemon belt bag.
I bought a purse from Madewell but I felt like it was just very not in and returned it. Plus I don’t even have use for stuff in a purse bigger than my belt bag.
pockets
I use a Tumi nylon backpack for work and have a wristlet with cash, lipstick, credit cards, and my car key that I stuff inside.
When I’m out and about for non-work reasons, I rarely carry a bag of any kind. My phone case has a hidden compartment that fits a $20, my driver’s license, and one credit card. I have Blistex and lipstick in my car, and I can tuck one in a pocket (with my car key) if needed. If absolutely necessary, I’ll carry the wristlet, but it’s rare.
I have a lot of neck and shoulder issues from working on a computer, so I really hate carrying anything that weighs on my neck and shoulders. Pockets are important to me.
Anon.
I don’t really like cross body bags or belt bags because they mess up how my clothes fit. I am on the lookout for a cute smaller shoulder bag since they are coming back in style finally.
Anon
I have found myself with too many blackberries. Anything easy to do with them for a beginner baker/cook?
Anon
Blackberry pie or blackberry jam is what I usually do. Both are delicious!
Anon
In that situation I always just put them on a sheet pan and put them in the freezer to freeze individually and not in clumps. Then I bag them up in freezer bags. Blackberry cobbler on a cold winter Sunday is not bad. They’re good for oatmeal too.
Anon
Lemon-blackberry custard is one of my favorite recipes. I make a recipe similar to this one: https://mdc.mo.gov/discover-nature/recipes/fruit-nut/lemon-blackberry-custard-cakes
I use slightly different amounts of the ingredients: 1/2c sugar (added all at the beginning), 2 1/2 tsp lemon zest, 3T flour, 1/4c lemon juice, and usually buttermilk instead of milk. I also make it in a pie plate instead of ramekins.
Anon
and i just stick the berries in, no pureeing nonsense.
Anecdata
what a wonderful problem to have!
Jam – cook with sugar to taste, dump in some pectin, you can store jars in the freezer if you don’t want to deal with true canning
Pie – a little milk + flour+ sugar mixed together (can even skip this!); dump in a premade pie crust
Anon
Crumble or crisp is easier than pie crust (and tastes better too, in my opinion)
Anonymous
Sub for strawberries in the How Sweet Eats strawberry cobbler bars.
Anon
No such thing!
Easy desserts – pie (with premade pie crusts if you don’t like making them) or cobber (top crush is easy drop biscuit dough).
Freeze individually – put a piece of parchment paper or nonstick foil on a cookie sheet and spread them out. Pop in the freezer overnight. You can store frozen berries in ziplock bags.
Jam – cook a mixture of 4-6 parts berries to 1-2 parts sugar (depends on how sweet you like it) plus 1/4 cup lemon juice. When it’s thick and syrupy let cool a little. You can freeze it if you don’t like messing around with the canning process.
Anon
While your pie is baking a pie, save a few on the side for a blackberry bourbon smash.
Anon
Lol, editing fail… s/b: Save a few on the side so while your pie is baking, you can make a blackberry bourbon smash.
Anon
How likely is it that Trump will go to prison for yesterday’s convictions? How about for the other cases currently being tried? How much prison time? Is there any scenario where he would be in prison while being president? I feel like SCOTUS wouldn’t let that scenario occur.
Anon
I personally don’t think he will get prison time for yesterday’s convictions
Anon
So do you think it will mostly be a fine?
Anonymous
Same. And I don’t think that is about specific preferential treatment but rather about the nature of the crime.
I did enjoy reading that he is having to report to a parole officer and may have to go through a pre-sentencing psych eval and some other humbling things before his July sentencing. And that he probably won’t be able to vote for himself.
hd
Oh my gosh, I feel for that parole officer. Could you imagine?
Anon
Oh my gosh, I feel for that parole officer. Could you imagine?
Anonymous
You make a good point.
Anon
That’s what my husband said! Although doing the thing is often worse than ordering the thing done. E.g., its second degree murder to order a hit, and first degree murder to pull the trigger on someone else’s orders.
Anon
I would think that an older person with no criminal history (I’m presuming that’s true for him) would likely get some form of alternative sentencing, not incarceration, barring a specific statutory provision that provides for incarceration. I wish there were a prison provision for “tried to kill democracy”.
Anon
I wish our justice system could respond to crimes in fewer than four years!
anonymous
Well, this “crime” occurred in 2016 but our “justice system” didn’t respond until 2024 because the prosecutor waited to bring charges until it would have maximum effect on the election.
Nothing better for democracy than the president’s political allies jailing the president’s political opponent on spurious charges!
Loofah
lolololol he doesn’t read this s1te (or at all, really) he’s not going to offer you a job
Nesprin
Good lord this is a take.
Nevermind that the grand jury handed down the indictment in 2023, over a year before the election, after multiple years of investigation. To your mind it’s fine to cover up a hush money payment? This prosecution was spurious? Those 12 jurors were clearly political plants? That the other 70 some odd felony indictments currently outstanding are all … the deep state … trying to … something something the illuminati.
Seriously, if you’re worried about democracy, you could vote against the guy whose buddies stormed the capital.
Anonymous
Did this conduct constitute a crime when John Edwards engaged in it? Or was that an entirely different scenario because . . . Democrat?
Anonymous
re John Edwards — he WAS prosecuted for it because yes it’s a crime
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-hush-money-case-compared-democrat-john-edwards/story?id=98053273
Anon
I suspect a troll, but if you really believe that I would plead with you to spend 30 minutes on the internet educating yourself on the history of the investigation and the charges because the timing was largely the result of a concurrent federal investigation that did not result in any charges and when the documents were produced in February 2021 (after Trump went all the way to the Supreme Court twice to fight the subpoena).
Anonymous
i think the story only came to light in 2018, thanks to WSJ reporting
Of Counsel
Well the case against John Edwards was somewhat different in terms of what he was charged with, although notably he was charged by the US Department of Justice (aka the federal government) during the Obama administration so the implication that political affiliation had something to do with it are a bit misplaced. He was accused of misusing campaign contributions for personal benefit because he used them to hide an affair – rather than using personal funds for political purposes and lying about it.
But the big difference is that he was indicted, tried and found not guilty (on one charge; there was a hung jury on the remainder of the charges but prosecutors elected not to re-try him given the split among the jurors). A jury of his peers heard the evidence and believed his version of events as opposed to the jury in the Trump trial who did not believe the defense’s story.
Anecdata
I mean, he wasn’t on trial for “tried to kill democracy”. (in this trial)
Anonymous
but won’t all the violations of gag orders and violent rhetoric in general work against him? plus E. Jean’s rape?
Anonymous
the NYT had a story about how if trump goes to jail the secret service would go with him — i saw someone comment somewhere that it seems like a great plot for a comedy.
Anon
Or a romcom… wanted to see the world, left for DC, joined the secret service, end up ordered back to your small hometown where the biggest employer is a prison… next to a Christmas tree farm
Raindrop
This made me lol. So funny!
Anonymous
Prince Santa and the Christmas Felon: Rudolph’s Escape from the Clink
Anon
Has anyone gotten a lash enhancement done? Like permanent eye makeup? How did it go? Are you happy you did it? I’m looking at getting mine done…not full on eyeliner, but just the lash part. See IG account @marastudio_clt, 3rd post over (the one with the blue eye) for what I’m talking about.
Anon
I would avoid. My MIL did permanent eyeliner and the style she has is no longer “in” but it was all the rage for a long time. It’s also faded over time. I’m very skeptical of permanent makeup. If you’re looking for eye bang for the buck, I highly recommend lash extensions. I get “full” lashes not long lashes so they are about the same length as my natural ones but it makes that eyeliner look and they naturally make eyes so pretty. It’s also a nice procedure – I just lie down and take a nap.
Jules
I’ve had a lash tint and lift, which was a tiny little perm. I basically looked like I’d used mascara and an eyelash curler every day (although the tint wasn’t as strong somehow on the lower lashes). I liked it – especially because the color doesn’t come off when I rub my eyes or when they get watery) – but it was pricey ($75 in my LCOL area).I have since started using the Thrive Causemetics mascara to almost as good effect.
Anon
Hopefully a fun question for a Friday afternoon: what’s the best advice you’ve gotten from reading here? It can be about anything – fashion, workplace norms, personal relationships, travel recs….
Anon
Someone recommended I get an Aeropress. Loved it, have used it for years.
CoffeeFan
I got one too! It’s fabulous. Thanks ya’ll!
anonshmanon
I think I read here first about the love languages concept. Yes, there is a bunch of traditionalist baggage attached, but just the simple idea that I show affection in certain ways and appreciate being given it in certain ways, and discussing preferences with my partner was highly useful.
Cat
There was a comment about workwear and what real empowerment means – YEARS ago – that stuck with me.
https://corporette.com/are-patent-leather-shoes-an-option-for-a-conservative-office/#comment-160267
Anon
Hmmm, I find that advice dated and not really on point today. There’s elements of truth but I think having a brand and standing out are more important now than they were in 2010. And I say this from my c-suite office where I actually do have power and got it by standing out not blending in.
anonshmanon
I feel like that advice is not wrong, but it’s not the full story. There are different sets of rules for chasing power and having power. And of course know your workplace heavily applies.
Anon
I commented at 440, and I agree with you – that’s a better take and gets to how I was reacting.
Cat
Parts of it are dated — as workplace attire has gotten more casual and colorful over the last 15 years, the likelihood that you’re wearing the “wrong” thing has dropped — but the overall message of not confusing “well no one’s said anything to me so it must be fine and I feel boring if I’m wearing appropriate clothes” with “wearing what’s best for career development” is a strong one.
hd
I also feel there’s a difference between “I’m going to wear these sky-high red peep toe stilettos, screw what anyone thinks” and “I’m going to tastefully and artfully curate a brand through my clothing choices.”
Anon
I thought of this too when I saw the prompt.
You know what’s empowering? Actual power. Something like that anyway. Love it.
Anon
Said it before, will say it again. Tubing mascara. It’s the GOAT. Thank you ‘rettes for changing my life.
LawDawg
Dining recommendations – Dishoom in London and Paris by Mouth tour. Those were some of the highlights of my vacation last summer.
Anon
I’m paraphrasing but it was the equivalent of ‘your job isn’t paying you for pretty’. I spent SO much time and energy putting on a full face of makeup, doing my hair, picking the exact right outfit, etc. when I was in my early 20s because I thought I needed to be acceptably pretty as well as smart and hard working. While yes, grooming is important, I realized it wasn’t a dire emergency if I didn’t have my nails manicured, or had a breakout, or if my makeup was more natural.
Anon
Jockey skimmies
Anon
+1! Love them so much. Wore though two pregnancies. Still going strong.
Anon
Slightly different answer, but I’ve learned not to share too much. I’ve been shredded here before and even though I logically know it shouldn’t hurt my feelings, it did. I’ve stuck around for the fashion picks, recipes, beauty recommendations, things like that.
Anonymous
The sale links have saved me a lot of money; I usually don’t have time to keep track of sales. The dialog on proper work attire has also been helpful.
Jules
The OG Ell*n advice: JSFAMO (just say fooey and move on). It’s useful for all types of situations – bad relationships, bad employment situations, unsuccessful job applications, whatever. I tried to keep it in mind several years ago when I was recently divorced and in the awful world of online dating.
anonshmanon
maybe time to bring this one back!
Anon
That became my life motto.
Senior Attorney
Same. I even ordered a coffee mug with the full slogan printed on it that I still use!
Anon
The life lessons from Senior Attorney, which I have taped to my screen:
1. Be kind.
2. Don’t be poor.
3. Use it or lose it.
4. Have young friends.
5. Look where you want to go.
6. No chair noises.
7. Presume good intentions.
8. You know what the right thing is. So do it.
9. Never assume the ball is dead.
10. People are not improvement projects.
Anon
These are great – and from about eight or nine years ago?
Anon
No chair noises??? What does that mean?
ABanon
No backseat drivers? No complaining from the stands?
Senior Attorney
My husband and I discovered we had gotten into the habit of making noises when sitting down or getting out of a chair (“oof!” “phew!”), and we decided that meant we were getting old. And we didn’t want to be going around making old-people noises, so…
Anon
Oof that’s good advice! I think I might have inadvertently started to do this! Great life advice!!
Same
Adding, I just told a friend breaking up with someone she’s dating: “believe people when they tell you who they are,” and this person just told you who they are so believe them.
Anonymous
someone on here roughly 15 years ago recommended Vieques for a cheap Caribbean vacation when I was a poor law student. Husband and I loved it so much we’ve been 4 times (we are not the type to repeat locations) and somewhat seriously contemplate buying property there at some point.
Quad
My Aritzia coat – a splurge purchase last winter that I absolutely love.
Anonymous
Help me shop? I need a great dress for a friend’s wedding later this summer. I’m size 16, 5’4, and my feet really really hate heels so I’m hoping to wear flats or sad wedge 1″ heels.
Anon
Tuckernuck–they have you covered.
Anon
Trina Turk has tons.
Risked Credit
In my job search, I lowered my criteria so applying for many more roles which I am very able to do and have done before. I am not getting traction. Is there an AI tool that can quickly show me the match between my resume and the job description? I want to get to 5 applications a day and I have been using chatGDP but I think something specific for US resumes would do a better job.
Also, cover letters….. I hate them because I am not good at them. My verbal skills have always been meh and I worked hard to for my grade B at GCSE in English language. I use chatGDP but its meh. Are there any good tools out there for help with this? I found the older posts on how to improve my grammar but right now I want to churn out 5 applications a day and it took me 4 hours and lots of umming and ahhing to write my last application.
Work Phone
People love narratives and stories, and a cover letter is a way to tell a story about your career that shows you understand and are qualified for the role. I brainstorm the wins in my past roles and write them in story form.
Here’s my template:
Intro: I’m excited to apply for X role at Y company. I believe my experience as [previous job or duties] make(s) me a strong candidate for the role.
Paragraph 1: broad level overview of career highlights
Paragraph 2: Story about a success you had that demonstrates skills needed in the role
Paragraph 3: Story about another success or accomplishment that demonstrates skills needed in the role
Closing: recap your strengths and express interest in learning more about the role.
If you come up with 3 or 4 stories, you can plug those in for different applications depending on the needed skills.
Anon
This cover letter sounds way too long
Anon
You are looking for Teal.
Anon
I have been using the free ChatGPT, but will subscribe shortly.
Here is the prompt that I use:
“I will give you a job description and a resume. Tailor the resume to the job description without changing facts, like job titles. Evaluate the candidate against the job description and tell me if they are a good fit. What experience is the candidate missing or should emphasize?”
After that, plug in rewritten resume (reviewed by you thoroughly) and say:
“I am the candidate. You are the interviewer interviewing me for this role. What questions do you have for me? One question at a time please”
The old free version did voice chat. It no longer does. It feels like a real interview.
Have a list of projects in STAR format that you can turn into success stories. ChatGPT doesn’t care if you take forever to answer a question. It’s a great way to hone your interview skills.
Anon
fwiw, when hiring I would rather have a very short formulaic cover letter than a full page of formulaic chatgpt word vomit. Neither adds value to your candidacy but the second wastes more of my time. So when you’re reviewing your ai-generated cover letter, don’t just check for facts – ask yourself whether the letter really conveys information about you as a candidate that isn’t in your resume. Does it say anything a different candidate wouldn’t say?
I’m sorry the search is hard – hang in there!
RiskedCredit
That’s why I don’t like the ai generated letters. They add zero value. It’s blah blah blah and not a letter I’m proud of. I don’t like sending something out I’m not proud of.
What I have done is write to say why I want the role and how my previous experience fits. Two paragraphs. It’s clear the cover letter and/or resume isn’t getting me through the filter. Once I’m through the filter I have an acceptable success rate.
Anon
That sounds exhausting. Thank you for reminding me why I need to stay with my current job until I retire. Do you have a friend with better language skills who can take a look for you? Not quite the same thing, but when my daughter was applying for grad school, she was killing it in her interviews, which was obvious because she was getting offers for admission before she got home, or in their very first round, etc. She had a friend with similar qualifications who was getting nothing after her interviews. So my daughter offered to roleplay with her, and bam-next interview, friend got an offer, which she wisely accepted.
Chl
You need to talk to live humans and network too. There are so many applications that even getting one human at the company to make sure yours gets looked at will make a difference. Good luck!
RiskedCredit
I’m trying to talk to live humans but it hard when I’m in Dallas and they are in nyc. I have no alimony or child support from the childrens father so I have to be very careful how I spend my savings. If you have idea of how I can better with this area that would be great.
For background, when I come to move it’s going to cost me about $30k between legal fees and the actual move. I then have school fees for 3 children and their medical costs including cobra. He has never paid anything towards their insurance but because he has paid 50% of the copay I don’t have a strong legal case. I’m picking my battles right now and focusing on the job search and limiting my travel to nyc for interviews only.
Anecdata
No need to travel! Come up with with a few bullet points of what you’re looking for (it’s actually easier for folks to help you if you’re specific) and send it to your network: people you’ve worked with in the past, friends from school, etc.
Just a thought – try making it really really clear you’ll relocate to NYC. I’d even present it as a fait accompli in your cover letter: “I’m relocating to NYC to be closer to family, and (something else about why you’re excited about the role). You don’t want them to worry you’re applying to in person/hybrid jobs but are then going to demand to be remote
Anonymous
I have watched and loved the following Netflix Korean shows – Doom, King the Land, and Remarriage and Desires. Started a few others but couldn’t get into them. Any on Prime, or is it worth getting a K-tv app?
Anon
I went ahead got Viki; it’s only $6.
Anonymous
I really liked Business Proposal on Netflix — watched it twice.
Anon
I loved Misaeng and My Mister.
Anon
Marry my Husband on Amazon Prime! I spent a whole sick day glued to the television. Otherwise I don’t watch much tv. Might be worth splurging for K-tv.
payal
Rookie Historian: Goo Hae Ryung, Queen of Tears, Crash Landing On You, Mr Queen are all on Netflix and are an easy watch. Mr Sunshine and The Glory are a little darker. Prime doesn’t seem to have as much of a selection of Dramas
Anon
Posted too late on the prior thread… Looking for career advice. I’m a mid-level manager in real estate services and I’m feeling stuck. I’d like to keep growing in my career but I keep being offered roles that are parallel to what I am already doing. I am recognized for being good at my job, but I don’t have a lot of opportunities to touch the next level at my current org. I have done the “next level” at my prior org but had to leave when a toxic boss came in. Do I take a lateral move and hope it will give me better opportunities? Go back to school for something? When I look at the education and experience of directors above me the only obvious difference is that I’m in my 40s and they are in their 60s and 70s (and mostly men). I have a decent relationship with a few of them and the advice is to just keep working hard and keep speaking up. It’s not working, and frankly feels like a bit of a brush off since they then tell me they’ll recommend me for X role which upon examination is a lateral move. What am I missing? Thanks!
Quad
I also work in CRE and find that most jobs, once you’re 15+ years in, feel like terminal positions until/unless a Director-level job opens up for regional management. Do the lateral moves have a slightly different specialty or focus? There’s something to be said about continuing to cross train and learn. Sometimes having specialized knowledge in two or three adjacent specialties can be really powerful for a future higher role as well.
Anon
How big a company are you working for? I also am pretty familiar with a lot of industries, but what is real estate services? Are you supporting agents at a brokerage? Managing commercial properties? This doesn’t seem like a great time to be in real estate and that may be holding you back too – if the industry is struggling, they’re not going to be creating upward mobility. If you’re in a support role, that’s also challenging as you’re a cost center versus a revenue generator. My advice would be reassess your industry and take your skills to a new one where there’s better growth potential.
AIMS
Talk me into it or out of it. Is this dress work appropriate? I have some work events this summer that really call for a good dress you can wear with maybe a little jacket and looking for something along these lines but probably with a higher neckline. Something about this seems like a little much? But every other style along these lines is either too frumpy or $$$$$$$$$. Curious if anyone has tried in person. Also, thinking navy over yellow to the extent that matters.
https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/dresses-and-jumpsuits/sophia-sleeveless-midi-dress-in-tweed/BY798?color_name=honeycomb&colorProductCode=BY798&fit=Classic&display=all
Anon
I think this is a lovely dress for work
Anon
I love the dress. Whether it is work appropriate depends on your office, what you do at work (this is not a dress to wear if you do any bending or squatting), and your build (might feel too va-va-voom if you are hourglass, easier to pull off in the office if you are more flat chested).
The bigger challenge would be finding a jacket to throw over it. The buttons, neckline, formal structure, and navy color —basically everything that gives the dress its identity — will make it very difficult to find a jacket that vibes.
Anon
Perfectly appropriate but sitting down could be tough given the style. You might want to have a tailor sew the front shut.
Anon
I love it! Agree workplace appropriate depends a lot on the workplace.
AIMS
Thank you all. I think I’m going to order it to try on. I may be a bit too chesty for this one to be work appropriate but TBD.
Anon
I think my therapist broke up with me…I had recently rescheduled a couple appointments, and this past week, I had to cancel all together with the caveat that I would reschedule later. I always did this within the 48 hour time frame, although I can see how this would be annoying. For the appointment cancellation, I emailed her and left a message on her answering machine (because she didn’t answer the email). I know she got the message because she cancelled the appointment, but she didn’t respond to anything. Then, she hasn’t responded to my request for a new appointment. I feel ghosted by her (which makes me sad given that is a recurring theme in my life), but I worked really hard to find her and build a relationship so I’m upset about having to do that all over again. Should I reach out one more time to reschedule or is this her way of breaking up with me?
Senior Attorney
I’d definitely try one more time, and I’d ask her directly if she means to be breaking up with you. I feel like ghosting is not at all appropriate behavior for a therapist.
anonshmanon
+1, that seems incredibly immature for a therapist. If I’m reading your post correctly, all the things you attribute to ghosting happened within just a few days. That is not enough to jump to that conclusion, even if you feel guilty about repeated rescheduling.
Maybe she is having a super crazy week where her child is sick and her fridge broke and she is barely getting any sleep, or something like that. So maybe your call just fell through the cracks.
Anon
A therapist should not ghost a client. If she feels that you have cancelled/rescheduled excessively, it is her responsibility to engage in terminating you as a client with clear and hopefully empathic communication. Ghosting a client is grounds for filing a complaint against her license. She is a mental health professional and one cannot just ditch a client without explanation/communication. At the outset of treatment, she should’ve provided you with a copy of her client/therapist agreement and policies.
Anon
I’d give this more time if this is all about this past week. I honestly seldom hear back from any medical office on a Thursday or a Friday (vs. the following Monday) about anything clerical, so I’d definitely reach out next week to schedule before assuming this was anything more than miscommunication or a dropped ball.
It really sounds to me like you are reading a lot into this (that your rescheduling was annoying, that she may be trying to end the therapeutic relationship), whereas all I am getting is “may be behind on email and scheduling.” I don’t know if you have context I’m missing.
Anon
+1
Anon
I also think this is a massive overreaction on OP’s part.
Anon
OP here. This has all happened over the course of about a month.
Anon
It sounded like the ghosting part was this past week? That also sounded like the first discouraging action from the therapist (it sounded like rescheduling had been successful until this past week). If the therapist hasn’t been communicating for about a month, then the comments on reading too much into things and overreacting may be misunderstandings.
Anon
Random question, but can we talk about closet accessories? What hangers do you use for blazers and suit jackets? I switched to the velvet ones ages ago, but I now think they are too thin to support some of my blazers and jackets. I’ve been looking at some that have a heavier shoulder line but haven’t purchased yet.
Senior Attorney
They take up a lit of space, but I think wooden hangers are the gold standard if you have room.
Anon
Wooden hangers in a petite size for the win. These were an investment worth every penny. I so love not having the misshapen shoulders and arms which occur when the hanger is too wide.
Anon
Any tips for using Nuuly? I am thinking about subscribing for a couple of months for vacation outfits and just new things to wear to work on casual days.
TA
I love Nuuly. Fast turnaround time and clothes do not smell bad (I have used rent the runway before). Look at reviews for sizing & try to look at colors in different light before you rent. Model pic may look different from real life. :) enjoy!
Anon
Putting out a plea for “normal” day time 3 season dresses. Smart casual/good enough for casual work but could look fine if dressed up for an evening out. NOT stiff dresses in suit material. But nice summer dresses, small floral or small patterns (Not overly large patterns where “the dress wears you”). I am striking out everywhere. For reference I am 5’4″ and carry my weight in the middle but otherwise slim. Just looking for something that isn’t satin, off-the-shoulder, only in khaki, white or black, very fussy patterns, and budget-priced. Have looked at Nordstrom sale too. Where do you all find daytime summer dresses . I have found a couple on Am–z-n but the material reads cheap although the styles are good.
Anon
Boden
Anonymous
Ralph Lauren, Brooks Brothers.
Anon
https://www.loft.com/clothing/dresses/catl000013/756639.html?priceSort=DES It’s black/white, but the print breaks that up.
https://www.loft.com/clothing/dresses/catl000013/767244.html?dwvar_767244_color=509941
Anon
I have a dozen MM Lafleur Lydia dresses that I got off of Poshmark. During the cooler months I wear them w tights and a Numi mock neck undershirt. For more formal needs I wear them w a knit jacket.
Anon
Not OP but also interested in BODEN – are the jersey dresses clingy? They look awesome but also have a lumpy middle and usually avoid jersey. But they sure are tempting!
Anon
I have this in a different color and it’s not clingy. Skims over my belly (a year PP so even though I’m slim there is stuff in the midsection). Completely personal but I would prefer the neck to be higher – it’s not immodest and the bra doesn’t show but I realized I don’t like air on my sternum. Looks great with a necklace though. I also have really short arms and the sleeves are too long on me which for me is normal and I’ll eventually shorten them.
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/elodie-empire-midi-dress-green-tambourine-geo-terrace/sty-d0765-jad
I also have two cotton jersey dresses. I am petite/short waisted but the REG size fits me better. Petite waist lands too high for me. They are also not clingy but I take a size larger in dresses to have more hip and shoulder room, and it’s just about perfect. I wouldn’t dry in the dryer, my other Boden cottons have shrunk by at least half a size in length via the dryer.
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/florrie-jersey-dress-passion-fruit-gardenia-swirl/sty-j0849-yel
AIMS
Not in my experience. The jersey is not a super synthetic jersey. More of just a nice substantial cotton-like material. I have this one and find it very easy to wear. https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/laura-jersey-midi-shirt-dress-camel-geo-chain/sty-d0764-cam
FWIW, a basic slip does wonders to smooth out any lumps, too, imo. I bought a sweater dress a while ago that couldn’t have looked worse in a really good, but sadly final, sale and I was going to give it away, but I tried with a regular (non-shaping) slip and it was a total 180. It’s been one of my favorite dresses! In case it’s helpful, my slips are gap and Uniqlo.they don’t make me hot in the summer and they’re a welcome layer in winter.
Anon
Thank you, AIMS. The details are very helpful and you’ve given me the confidence to try Boden.