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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Floral Print Top

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A woman wearing a green floral printed long sleeve top and brown trouser pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This verdant floral top from Smythe is a gorgeous way to bring the outside in this summer. With the slightly billowy cut, I would try to pair it with a slimmer-fitting bottom, or at least a pair of trousers that would allow you tuck it in and create a little bit of shape.

Or maybe you could just be billowy. It’s almost summer. Go for it. 

The top is $495 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XS-XL; the brand has a lot of blouses in pretty prints right now!

Hunting in general for blouses in pretty prints? As of 2024, some of the reader favorite brands include L'Agence, L'Amour Vert, Equipment, Smythe, and Tucker NYC. On the more affordable side, check out NYDJ,* Halogen*, Loft,* and Kut from the Kloth. For plus sizes, check out Catherine Gee (and the asterisks)!

Sales of note for 3/21/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off: Free People, AllSaints, AG, and more
  • Ann Taylor – 25% off suiting + 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – $39+ dresses & jumpsuits + up to 50% off everything else
  • J.Crew – 25% off select linen & cashmere + up to 50% off select styles + extra 40% off sale
  • J.Crew Factory – Friends & Family Sale: Extra 15% off your purchase + extra 50% off clearance + 50-60% off spring faves
  • M.M.LaFleur – Flash Sale: Get the Ultimate Jardigan for $198 on sale; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Buy 1 get 1 50% off everything, includes markdowns

276 Comments

  1. I hired house cleaners for the first time — how much should I tip? MCOL city, $220 for a deep clean. I booked through a local company and I’m not sure how many people they’re sending. TIA for any intel!!

        2. If you pay 20% per person then the cleaners get tipped less if they clean alone. If the cost of a cleaning is $100 and I clean one house today then I get tipped $20. If my coworker and I clean two houses working together then and both home owners tips 20% of the total bill my coworker and I are both tipped $20. If each home owner tips 20% to each worker than I make $40 in the second scenario.

    3. I tipped $20 on a $160 every-other week clean (12.5%) in a Chicago suburb. This is a question where you’ll get a huge range of answers. (The last time this question was posed here the majority of respondents tipped about one full cleaning at Christmas. Unfortunately I think it’s a case where people are reluctant to respond if their answer differs dramatically from the first commenter.) Ultimately, I use a company because they are bound by labor laws, including minimum wage (which is just north of $14/hour here).

    4. I only tip at the holidays (extra full payment). My team is their own business and they are the only people who ever come.

      1. Me too. It’s a women and her sister. I give an extra weeks pay at the holidays, otherwise no weekly tip.

    5. I have a weekly service with the same person and tip an extra clean at the holidays only. On occasion after a renovation project, I’ve hired a deep clean company and tipped 20% on the service. I don’t think it’s customary to tip weekly whether it’s a service or not.

      2. I don’t currently have cleaners but the tip of an amount equivalent to one service at the end of the year was my standard.

    6. Tipping is just out of control! That Christmas “tip” is something that’s common in Latin America, and I remember an article in the LA Times in the 80s or 90s explaining the foreign concept to the Anglo readers.

  2. Storage/organization question… our family of 4 just moved into a house with wide, deep reach-in closets in the office and bedrooms. The closets are like 9′ wide and take up an entire wall. I’m struggling to figure out how to organize them to be useful and not an eyesore since they’re often open. Would it be worth it to get an Elfa or Closetmaid system? Should I be trying to build something with IKEA? Any suggestions for a good version of those for an office closet, where I mostly need a lot of shelving and not necessarily the same type as clothing storage closets? Thanks!

    1. Elfa is always worth it. Closetmaid is fine, but having the Container Store people design the closet, print out your order list and prepare it for pick-up is amazing. Installation is simple if you’re even a little bit handy. Tearing out the old closet is the hardest part, but it’s important to do that right: patch the holes and repaint the interior before the new system goes in. You probably do want to wait for an Elfa 30% off sale. I am sure there is a Reddit forum guessing about when the next one is coming, but you can get your design done now and wait for a sale to hit the order button.

      2. I read the OP to mean that there are doors but they tend to get left open. If your family doesn’t close doors, they won’t be likely to keep the inside of the closet beautifully neat either.

        1. This was my thought as well.

          The only reason to have open closets that are beautifully arranged inside is if your cat claws at the doors constantly, believing that her furry self has a God-given right to be in everything all the time.

        1. maybe installing soft close doors would help? So you can just bump then closed and they do not slam. I am a chronic door open leaver and I think this would make a difference, however silly it may seem.

    3. I had an excellent experience with California Closets. I used them for bedrooms, pantry and a storage closet under my stairs.

    4. I have a similar closet in my bedroom. My solution was to have my contractor build a U-shaped wooden shelf high up, with a (very) sturdy wooden dowel hanging-rack below. On the shelf, I have some matching canvas storage cubes for clothes and bags and accessories and blankets I don’t hang. I store suitcases beneath the clothes against the back closet wall. I also have a large chest from IKEA in which I store some extra shoes on the floor. And then I have the depth to store a multi-tiered, rolling shoe rack on each side of the closet, in front of the clothes. The closet has a French door and the racks tuck in behind the closet’s front walls, as the door is not as wide as the full closet. It’s pretty functional and stores a lot.
      My office closet is my coat closet, so it doesn’t have a shelving system I can recommend. But I did buy an over-door Elfa organizer system I find very useful. It is customizable and hangs on the inside or outside of the door. I think it would be great for office items. I use it for cleaning supplies. (My home is quite small and I am a person with things (but working on it), so every inch counts here.)

    5. Are you reasonably handy? For the office closet, I’d consider just building in the shelves rather than Elfa, especially if you are going to need to store books etc. on them. It is reasonably easy to do, you just put a piece of plywood on 1x2s screwed into the wall if you are going a short distance, then paint it to make it pretty.

    6. BIG Elfa fan here! Husband and I both have small closets similar to what you describe (not as deep though) and Elfa’ing them was the best money we’ve ever spent.

      1. I commented above about Elfa also, but I will second this. Our former house, where we lived 20+ years, had a small master BR closet. Elfa was game-changing, and we said the same thing many times-best money we ever spent on that house, which was saying something, because we overhauled every surface in that house. I gave Elfa to my daughter for Christmas one year and did two very small closets in her condo’s bedroom. She did not throw away a single thing, but post-Elfa, she miraculously had plenty of space.

    7. I used Easy Closets dot com some years ago and was very happy with them. The thing I liked was that I could do my own design online and think about it and tweak it for as long as I wanted, and then I clicked “buy” when they were having a sale. I hired somebody off Task Rabbit to install it, but if you are handy you can do it yourself easily.

    8. Whenever I have a new closet I consider what height the bar will be most useful to me — if it should be double-hung — or if I’d rather use the space for shelving instead. My walk-in has a TON of shelving for purses, shoes, folded things like jeans, baskets full of random things like shapewear. I’ve lowered a lot of bars to be no taller than the longest thing i’ll put in there because having reachable shelves is more useful to me than a tall bar for a ballgown I might put in there.

      For our mudroom closet it’s like 9′ deep and I’m still figuring out how best to use it – we lowered the shelves to be about 5′ off the floor, and installed a tiny shelf along the inside wall where I prop stuff like sunscreen, itch balm, etc. We have a lot of hooks along the wall also to hang hats, umbrellas, bags.

    9. I used a local vendor to design/install a closet system and it was worth every penny. It was cheaper than the corporate brands too. There was so much wasted space before and now it all has a home.

  3. Trying to decide whether I’m being a grumps or if this is justified. Whenever my department/organization is asked to comment on or edit a document I condense feedback into one doc, clean up duplicates, and provide suggested language. I just had edits come back which included a 15 message back and forth deciding what their input should be, am I expecting too much for them to have sorted that out and just provide their final edits?

    1. Ugh, I would be so annoyed. Is this your job specifically (in your job description)? Or are you the one who often gets stuck with it because you’re good at it? My answer would change, depending.

      1. We are equals but in different departments, our reporting structures do not overlap at all. I’m responsible for collecting comments on my documents and they are responsible for collecting comments on theirs. I try my best to foster good interdepartmental relationships (my employer has tens of thousands of employees) which is why I wrap up comments from my team/department when commenting on their docs, it’s not strictly necessary I could also technically send other departments a rats nest of comments with conflicting views and discussions, but my executives trend towards polite and would be mortified if I did that.

        1. Going forward, can you designate a primary contact for edits? I’m in marketing, and this was routine to do with clients when I worked at an agency. It helps ensure no conflicting instructions as well.

    2. I’d just message back:

      “I see a discussion over what the language in passage(s) X should be. Can you give me a clean copy with the correct language? I want to make sure your wishes are reflected clearly.”

        1. I agree with Vicky. I am usually the one who has the best diction in my firm, and, as a result, whenever I make ANY suggestions, I am descended upon to finish the task, even tho in some circumstances, I am NOT the SME (subject matter expert), such as when the issue involves Tax or Estate Planning. In those circumstances, I revert it back to the SME to handle. It is possibly the case b/c I am one of only 3 women attorneys at the firm, and I am the youngest (and for what is worth, the prettiest), so the men gravitate to me, even when there is little reason to do so.

        2. I like this phrasing too, plus the “make sure your wishes are reflected properly” reminds them it’s for their own benefit

    3. I’d be annoyed. Can you respond and say I want to be sure I’ve accurately captured the feedback, can you please summarize where the team landed on XYZ?

    5. I just want to say I commiserate with you. I am on a committee for my profession that is doing a white paper providing guidance for our progression on an emerging topic. It has been a clusterf**. I feel every day for the guy leading the committee. The phrase “herding cats” comes to mind.

    6. FWIW in my world it often happens that I have a conversation with my leaders and underlings, condense feedback, and distribute to the larger org, only to have people come back with more edits or complete counters like we never had the original conversation to begin with. It’s infuriating and makes me look and feel incompetent.

  4. Hiking near Las Vegas later this month – including Death Valley. Looking for a good long sleeve shirt – mostly for sun protection, but want it to be breathable/DRI fit as well. I’ll probably buy 3, one for each day we are hiking. Favorites?

    1. I have some I got from a tennis shop that are mesh in parts and have a mock neck. Lands end is also good for sun protection. Husband has Pelagic shirts maybe sold for boat fishermen.

    4. Title Nine has the Tuolomne shirt which looks right. I had the perfect shirt from there for this but don’t see the exact one.
      Duluth Trading is the other place I’d look.
      Sorry I can’t make the personal rec. Guess it’s been too long.

    5. Whatever white shirt is on sale at REI. I’ve had good luck with the Columbia PFG long sleeve shirts – generally prefer the men’s cut over the women’s.

    6. I have a Columbia one from REI and an Eddie Bauer one from Costo. Both are great.

    7. I really like the REI Coop sahara line. I have the hoodie in a few different colors – it’s lightweight with good sun protection, easy to layer.

    8. LL Bean tropicwear long-sleeved. I have a similar one from Orvis, as well. I love the shirt style with a collar to flip up and sleeve tabs. They are wonderfully cool and functional and don’t cling when damp like a sport knit.

  5. Has anyone changed jobs because they like their career… too much? My job and career are great (80% of the time) and fulfilling and interesting. But I’m realizing that I’m a workaholic. I mildly resent my family if I have to leave early. I don’t often work in the evenings, but sometimes I wish I could to make progress on projects I’m excited about. I’m now truly midlife, and thinking maybe I should want to not care about my job so much since I know that ultimately family and relationships are more important. How to figure out if I should make a change, and how?

    1. Be glad your evenings are a choice now. In many jobs, they aren’t. Instead of risking that with a change, I would focus on hard stops to leave and recognize there will always be more to do.

    2. Do not do this. It is a rare blessing to find a career you love. Do not take a step away because you think you SHOULD want your career goals less. Instead work on setting boundaries and being present wherever you are. Quality time matters more than time. So if you only have x time to spend with your family at night or on a weekend, make it be time that is meaningful, happy etc and actively try not to think about work, check email etc. Same at work – focus on work so by the time the end of the day rolls around, you’re ready for some dedicated time at home.

      2. So true. Whether or not the OP is an attorney, a work-a-holic does not change her stripes even if she goes into a new field. I always wanted to be a professional so I went to grad school in law, but even if I was to go into Art History to be a museum curator, I am sure I’d be burning the midnight oil looking up different specimens for the exhibits at the museum I would work at. When I went to the MET this weekend, I saw some amazing things from the middle ages, and I now want to go back and look at the architectural rooms on the first floor which are permanent in nature. Where they got all of these things, I don’t know, but it must have taken years to do so. Also, the Cafe downstairs was really good, and not very expensive, as it could have been, as museums love to soak their viewership, as there is no other place to go if you want to continue to browse after lunch!

    4. This is a you issue, not a job issue – if this is how you are, it will happen even if you have less demanding role. It’s good you are recognizing it. Work on the resentment piece and when the feelings come up, acknowledge them but then remind yourself that from 5-8 your family is what matters and focus on being present with them.

      1. This. It’s a gift to be passionate about your career, but also remember that balance is important and you may well end up burned out if you don’t fill your life with other things besides work.

    5. I did this to a certain extent in that I got a new job as an advisor/government contractor in my field. So I get to nerd out on subjects that I love, and I get to work with a lot of neat projects, but I am no longer responsible for pushing them through. My hours are capped at 40/week with no expectations of extra work outside of true, front page type emergencies, and I have time to be present for my young teenagers. And… it is ok. There are a lot of very good things about my job, but it is pretty boring, and as an advisor, no one has to take my suggestions :) On the other hand, my kids will be out of the house in 6 years, and I am well positioned to go back to a senior role in my field if that is what I want to do then. I’m hoping I have more of a life after 6 years of practicing and maybe I won’t want to.

    6. No, absolutely not. I love my job too. That’s rare and special. I don’t do things because a meme tells me to. My family knows I love them and I also love what I do, it’s all fine.

    7. What do you do for a living? Seriously, I’m looking to switch careers. I feel it’s easier to willfully pull back hours in a career you love than slog through hours in one you don’t. In this instance you have a CHOICE which is a huge blessing. I’m in a career that requires evenings/weekends and I derive absolutly no happiness from it. I’d love to switch places.

    8. My mom hated her job/career. She was home by 5:15 every night to make dinner and didn’t work weekends, but being unhappy 40 hours a week took a toll on her and us. Leaving something that makes you happy is not going to provide your family quality tine and runs the risk of adding resentment into the mix

    9. I LOVE what I do, but I also LOVE my hobbies, social life, and partner (no kids yet). Loving your job is such a rare thing and such a gift – no amount of loving my personal life will make up for being miserable for 40+ hours a week. I also work in a helping career, so feel at times that I “should” work more because its having a very real impact on a member of the public’s life. While that’s true, I do have to remind myself that we cannot pour from an empty cup and I owe it to the public to recharge outside of work so I can crush it at work.

      I would NOT leave your job – you likely will have the same tendencies regardless of where you work AND loving a job is so rare I would not recommend giving up the good to go for the great. I would work on setting limits and slowly scaling back how late you stay. For example, if you currently work til 7PM but want to be better about being home in time for dinner at 6PM, start leaving earlier slowly. I’d recommend starting to leave at 6:45, then after a few weeks scale it back to 6:30, and so on until you leave by 6. I’d recommend setting an alarm for 15 minutes before you want to leave so you can wrap up, write out your to do list for the next day, and not get caught up in a project. If you get the urge to work at night, instead of working just take a few minutes to jot down a few ideas you have that excite you so you can turn your attention to them the next day.

      I would also recommend finding some non-work things that excite you just as much as work – whether its quiet family time, coaching a kid’s sport, an art class or gym class, time in nature, or a standing date with a girlfriend. Make being not at work just as exciting as being at work.

    10. I’m sorry but the avoidance is so real when you’re thinking of changing to a worse job instead of just getting therapy

        1. It means it is wild to be considering taking a worse job instead of going to therapy and working on yourself to not be a workaholic.

          1. Everyone jumps to therapy here. Maybe check out some books first. There are many titles about managing workaholic tendencies etc…

    11. Hi! This is me! I would do my job – even the bad days – every day for the rest of my life with no pay (much to DH’s chagrin!). I hear you on the resentment. Here’s what helps me: to recognize that I don’t resent my family, I resent needing to leave work that I love to do stuff that I don’t love (e.g., cooking meals, keeping evening trains on the tracks, cleaning up, etc.). However, I don’t mind leaving work to ride bikes with my kids, work on a big puzzle as a family, play “room makeover” with my daughter, or eat a delicious meal with them. I have outsourced the stuff I don’t like to the extent that I can in different seasons of life and try to make sure I have something that I enjoy doing with my family every day after work. DH and I also have evenings dedicated to “us” (intentionally watching a movie we are excited about, doing tinkering work in parallel and chatting, etc) and evenings dedicated to “me” wherein the other spouse does bedtime (and sometimes the whole after school through bedtime routine!) while the other has free rein to do whatever lights them up. I hope you find a balance that works so you can pursue a life with lots of areas that excite you like work does!

    12. I changed jobs because I could not pare back on the hours. I liked it but it turns out what I liked was working- I get a lot of satisfaction from work, knocking out projects, solving problems. I learned that I also get satisfaction building others up to be able to handle some of what only I could handle before, freeing up my brain for truly complex issues. Turns out not thinking about work issues for multiple hours a night and taking some weekends off brought me depth in personal relationships and also made me better at work. Space and rest and variety are part of what makes life great.

  6. If you have labs done for something ordinary – in this case iron – how long do you give your PCP to reach out with instructions before you message her yourself? In this case I was moderately anemic a few weeks ago when labs were done for a physical. She instructed me to get follow up labs for ferritin etc but if I wasn’t going to do them ASAP, start taking iron anyway. So I started, took iron for close to two weeks and had follow up labs done end of last week. All results are now in a portal, I just need someone to tell me how long to keep taking iron, when to retest.

    While I’d like to know, I’m also not looking to be annoying here. This dr is great, really takes her time at appointments, but I know she and the whole practice are also busy. Do I give her a few days, a week?

    1. I’ve found doctors tend to call quickly if the results are out of range. If they are normal, it takes more time (or waits until the next appt if you have one booked). Since there’s no immediate action item for you (I’m assuming the iron supplement is working?) I’d give her until the end of the week. But I also don’t think it’s super annoying to call earlier and leave a message if that makes you feel more comfortable.

    2. Unless something is life threatening, I don’t expect a doctor to respond. If they do, great. I either call up the office and talk to a nurse or make a followup appointment.

    3. I’d keep taking the iron and expect a call within a week of the results. it’s a busy time so I wouldn’t be annoyed if the results came in Th/F and no followup yet, but would expect to hear something in the first half of this week.
      since you’re already treating the deficiency, and this isn’t an emergency, I would just wait for now

    4. Well, considering that my doctor literally never got back to me about the results of an important screening (fetal genetic testing), including at the next appointment, I’m going to suggest following up.

    5. Do you have a patient portal where you can send notes? I would just ask that question via the portal.
      Otherwise, I would call and ask if you could schedule a quick virtual follow up visit to discuss the results of your latest tests and treatment plan.

    6. Well, it’s Monday and often a doctor’s busiest day, so I wouldn’t expect a response so soon for a non-urgent test result. In general, if I don’t hear from them after 1 week, I send a very short, polite message via the portal.

      Hi Dr.
      I started the Iron on (date). I checked my ferritin on (date) and it is (number).
      Let me know your recommendations.

      Thanks.

      FYI – I also have low ferritin, and typically after starting iron the want you to continue taking it for several months before rechecking your levels again. Most docs will say 2-4 months, depending upon your levels and what type of iron you are taking. So don’t worry …. there is likely nothing urgent you need to do now.

    7. Personally I would give her until end of day Wed. to see if I hear from her. That sounds like it would be close to a week since labs plus she and the office have gotten through Monday which tends to be a busy day – tons of appointments, catching up on labs from last Friday etc. If I didn’t hear from her then I’d probably send a portal message on Wed. night just asking if your iron dose is still fine given recent labs, how much longer to take it, does it need to be retested when you’re done taking it. Then you likely get a response to that Thursday or Friday as I think most PCPs get a fair number of portal messages nowadays and try to keep those inboxes fairly clear in real time.

      For me I try to send these messages by mid week to get a response by end of week just in case I need to do something. Example if someone says – switch to this other brand of iron instead or start eating this food in addition to supplementing, I can go chase that down on the weekend. I realize that isn’t an issue for everyone since most people would just Amazon Prime what they need so YMMV. Frankly I also like going into weekends with these things not hanging over me – I can get anxious, so I like questions answered during the week if possible.

    8. Send a message in the portal. Office staff will likely have an answer back to you in a day or two.

  7. Thanks to all of you who replied to my story about admin troubles on Friday. I really appreciated your comments. My old team loved to be part of creating solutions, but some of your comments helped me realize that this team might be quite different, and if ~10 conversations where I’ve been empathetic have led us to just getting stuck and angry, then I need to change tactics a bit. I spent the weekend thinking about some options, and I’ve got some ideas now to come in with a positive but clear message, and just say “This is what we’re doing now!”. I realized that my style of asking questions and listening might not work nearly as well as hiding myself in a conference room for a few hours to map out the processes, and then present them as “This is what I’d like us to try”. I’m also hanging up a Kanban board so we can all see our progress and celebrate when we get things done:-) Thank you all for your help!

  8. I am the poster from last week who was nervous about an endoscopy. Thanks to everyone who tried to make me feel better! I almost bolted from the waiting room when reading the liability waiver, but I went through with it. The procedure itself was fine. The biopsies were more painful than I expected and I could not eat that night, just small sips of liquids. I needed to take the next day off from work because I was still a little groggy and agitated. I slowly worked back up to soft food and now 3 days later feel mostly normal.

    1. So glad you were able to get through it and that you’re feeling better now. Keep us updated when you get results, please!

    2. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Just for comparison for anyone reading, I had an endoscopy with biopsies done at the same time as a colonoscopy and didn’t feel any difference in my throat or anything. I definitely remember being surprised by how easy the endoscopy was. I had been completely panicked that I would feel it happening or have chipped teeth or something, and all that worry ended up being for nothing. (Colonoscopy with biopsies also was way easier than I expected–no knowledge anything had been done.)

      1. This – had one with anesthesia a few months ago and aside from needing a nap when I got home, I felt totally fine after it. No throat soreness, inability to eat, or pain from the biopsies.

      2. I had an endoscopy at the same time as a colonoscopy too, with biopsies, and had zero side effects once the medication wore off.

        2. Same. Had to have someone pick me up and we went right to lunch. I would have been fine to leave on my own but the doctors required someone else for liability reasons.

        1. So true. Whether or not the OP is an attorney, a work-a-holic does not change her stripes even if she goes into a new field. I always wanted to be a professional so I went to grad school in law, but even if I was to go into Art History to be a museum curator, I am sure I’d be burning the midnight oil looking up different specimens for the exhibits at the museum I would work at. When I went to the MET this weekend, I saw some amazing things from the middle ages, and I now want to go back and look at the architectural rooms on the first floor which are permanent in nature. Where they got all of these things, I don’t know, but it must have taken years to do so. Also, the Cafe downstairs was really good, and not very expensive, as it could have been, as museums love to soak their viewership, as there is no other place to go if you want to continue to browse after lunch!

        2. I was awake and alert for my endoscopies and getting the biopsies was the weirdest feeling! I watched them on the screen and could see the scissors snipping in. So weird but also kinda cool. Or maybe I’m just a weirdo.

        3. I was not awake, but I am assuming the biopsy sites are what were causing the pain as it was mid chest when I tried to swallow. When I googled it (I know, never a good idea), it seemed like it was not uncommon for this to happen.

      2. Or your body just metabolizes anesthesia more slowly than some. I think the effects of anesthesia are cumulative, so if you’ve had another recent procedure, this round could have affected you more profoundly. OR, you’re not as sensitive as some (are you a redhead?) and were more profoundly affected by pain from the procedure itself because the anesthesia was less effective.

        1. Yes, I was born a redhead! It has mostly changed to brown as I age, but there’s still a hint.

          1. Oh! Redheads have demonstrably different relationships to anesthesia and pain. I wonder if this is an explanation.

            But in any case, it sounds like this was a tough procedure, both mentally and physically for you. Glad you’re on the other side!

          2. Did your anesthesiologist ask about this? I am not a redhead, sadly, but come from a family of them, so I know about the need for more anesthesia in redheads. I think anesthesiologists are supposed to ask.

    4. So glad you’re ok. Also, I have to say that as a medical malpractice lawyer. You never consent to receiving treatment that is below the standard of care. So even if you sign a consent form (as everyone does) it does not prohibit you from pursuing anything should god forbid something awful happen to you.

      1. Good to know. I wasn’t concerned so much with waiving my rights, but more all of the bad things they listed might happen!

  9. Has anyone used one of the electronic mosquito repellant devices that Wirecutter recommends? I’m VERY prone to mosquito bites and am hoping this could be a good solution for outdoor dining this summer. Can you use them indoors as well? I visit a place where the screens have way too many holes.

    1. They work outside only, I cannot imagine using them inside. They work great but not for a very long time so get refill packets. You’ll also need to move it around if you do, they cover about a dining table area of space or a small seating area. If you want more coverage, you need a few lanterns.

    2. Mosquitos love me too. I wear pants and long sleeves in the evenings, or expect to be bit. I also get a LOT of swelling with bites. Sometimes they still get me through thin fabrics.

      I’m the plus side, my kids are spared when I’m around.

    4. I live near swamp and the ThermaCell Patio Shield devices are truly lifesavers. I am a cheapskate and I’ve figured out how to refill the fuel cartridge cells (it involves DIYing butane, like a lighter, very easy) to save myself a little bit of money. I still buy the Permetherin Blue Strips original though.

    5. I really like my ThermaCell. It works great for my small balcony but haven’t tried it anywhere bigger.

      I’ve gone from getting 2-3 bug bites a day, every day to getting none.

      1. I thought you weren’t supposed to use a Thermacell with food, that it disperses chemicals into the air that would land on the food.

    6. Are you thinking of the Thermacell? I’ve used them in my very buggy backyard and they do work, but the range isn’t great and the refills are pricey. The best, cheapest mosquito repellent in my experience is big fan – mosquitos are weak flyers.

    8. If what the earlier poster describes is what you are thinking of, permethrin is deadly poisonous to cats, so please don’t use inside if you have any.

    9. If you have a lot of full-sun areas around your patio, try planting lemon grass. The citrus-y scent is a natural repellent. I had one lemon grass plant for a small patio, and I had only one mosquito bother me in five years.

      Also, try to avoid lactose-containing foods when you’re sitting outside.

  10. Planning a 2 week trip to SoCal for late june/early july. I grew up there and visit at least once a year to see family with my spouse and two kids (6 and 9). Because we do this trip fairly often, I’m having a hard time getting excited about it. We have our usual places including Knott’s, the aquarium, the mall (an attraction for our city kids), and our favorite beaches. We’re also planning on going to Disney on this trip. What would are your favorite things to do in SoCal? We’re staying with my parents in Orange County, but are open to driving up to LA.

    1. Would you be open to taking 2-3 days and exploring somewhere a bit further away that feels new and novel?

      I’d do an overnight to San Diego, the central coast, Joshua Tree / Palm Springs, or Big Bear Lake?

      1. Yes, this, though I’d suggest Sequoia or somewhere else in the mountains over Joshua Tree or Palm Springs at that time of year, or just stick to the coast.

        1. Hearst Castle is great with kids and the beaches around there are really nice, too. Have brunch at Linn’s Fruit Bin in Cambria and take home some ollallieberry preserves!

    2. If you do not mind driving, you could head up to Santa Barbara or Cambria. But if spending 5 hours in traffic does not appeal, come down to San Diego! We have the Zoo (this time of year I would recommend the zoo over the Safari Park), Balboa Park, Sea World, the USS Midway, Old Town, La Jolla Cove, and a multitude of outdoor activities.

      The only problem is that it might be cool and overcast at the beach depending on how long June Gloom lasts but even if the weather is not great for the beach, there is a lot to do!

      Also, if you have not taken them to San Juan Capistrano, the Mission is worth the visit and my kid loved it at that age (and the surrounding Los Rios District is cool for walking around).

      1. + 1 to San Juan Capistrano. This was a common day trip for us growing up. You can also take a train there, we always really enjoyed as kids. (My mom is from Orange County, so we used to do this same trip.)

      2. Yes, San Diego is always a good choice. We’re getting pandas back at the zoo! If you have small kids, the water splash zone is truly fun. Legoland in Carlsbad has also opened a new land and added a parade. It’s technically cheaper than Disney.

        Personally I like the beaches in North County for better parking on the weekends, and I like the beach even with June gloom. Torrey Pines is always lovely for hiking. Right now we have orcas and blue whales migrating by but typically summer isn’t whale season.

        You can also rent boats or take tours so easily out of the Bay. If you’re fancy ($$), the Rady shell has concerts right on the Bay. There are also a few resorts around Carlsbad that have updated their offerings in the last few years. The UTC mall is also very fancy right now (although not as much as LA).

        1. Another thought, what about a ferry to Catalina Island? It’s touristy and overly expensive, but we always have a lot of fun for a day or two. There’s something about driving around in golf carts that’s inherently fun. You can also snorkel/kayak if your kids are strong enough swimmers.

    3. If you grew up in OC you probably already have this on your radar, but my kids enjoy a Duffy boat ride in Newport Harbor. You could pair that with a ride on the Ferris wheel at the Balboa fun zone and some games at the arcade (though it was closed for renovations last time we were in town – I think it has reopened now). We also like to walk around Balboa Island and get a coffee or ice cream on Marine Ave.

    4. From the OC? This is a no brainer.

      Go down to San Diego, stay in the gaslamp, and go to all the museums in Balboa Park. Head up to the Safari Park. Look for all the Stuart collection sculptures at UCSD. Take a day at Mission Bay learning to windsurf, go down to Point Loma and look for whales.

      Late June will probably be overcast/cooler in SD closer to the water (june gloom is a known phenomenon) though could warm up inland.

      1. San Diego is the easiest and probably best solution! I took my kid to San Diego when she was about the age of your kids and we had a blast.

    5. If you’re in Orange County, my favorite stop there recently is going to the Mercado Gonzalez at the Northgate Market in Costa Mesa. I’ve gone the last two times I’ve been in Orange County for the churros, tacos, and to take home chips and guacamole.

  11. Has anyone been to Bermuda and can recommend a hotel? My husband and I (mid-40s) are going with my parents (late 70s) in September. We’d like something on the beach with a nice pool, as my mom has limited mobility and would prefer a pool to the ocean. Ideally, something in the $500-600 a night range, and if breakfast is included, that’s even better! We’ve never been, but my parents have stayed at the Fairmont Southhampton and loved it. Unfortunately, it’s closed for renovations until October. We don’t want to do the other Fairmont in Hamilton because it’s not on a beach.

  12. Claudia Sheinbaum will be the next president of Mx. Finally a female president in North America.

    1. And also the country’s first Jewish president, which is awesome – but honestly I care more for a woman being in power than for any candidate’s religion.

    2. Also a climate scientist!!! She served on the UN climate change panel that won a Nobel Prize for their work.

    5. Yes! I honestly didn’t know much about her, but I was looking into her a bit and she seems impressive. It was nice to see a bit of positive news for once. Well done to Mexico.

    6. She’s a Lopez Obrador puppet. This is not a good thing. Plus, he can recall her if she doesn’t follow along like he wants her too.

      1. Would you have said the same thing if she were a man? That was one of the most repeated messages in the pre-campaign, when the opposition constantly calls her “the favorite” or “the daughter.” If she were a man, it is clear, they wouldn’t use those terms. Just because she spent a good part of his career with AMLO does not mean that she is his puppet.

  13. Real question. Just read some maria kondo article on apartment therapy. if got rid of all my clothes that don’t spark joy, i would be naked. are there really people who love everything they wear? if so, how do i become that person?

    1. You don’t have to follow everything you read. People have to say things to make money and put their unique spin on common concepts to stand out. It doesn’t mean they’re correct.

      1. Especially Marie Kondo lost all credibility when she flip flopped from ‘no clutter ever’ to ‘here is my own line of dust catchers for $ale’.
        You can pick and choose what advice you follow. I like the way of folding things in drawers so you can see everything, it’s been holding up well for me.

        1. Eh a lot of people found value in her books. Certainly, Americans tend to over consume and end up with too much stuff. I’m certainly not immune from that. I also don’t follow cancel culture.

          1. lol, what do you think cancel culture is? Marie Kondo is certainly very much not canceled and I wasn’t saying she should be deplatformed. I was trying to say that the OP should take whichever advice is useful and not feel obliged to adopt every last bit.

    2. Well, it’s taken me decades, but I have a very narrow list of brands that I love and I almost never buy anything that is not those brands. I am really picky about fabrics. I still love to buy clothes as much as I ever did, but I have finally learned that if I buy a cute-on-the-hanger dress from Target or a rayon blouse at Macy’s I will wear it once and then throw it in the donate pile. I am a work in progress but narrowing my wardrobe options has helped me feel calmer and more organized.

      I also fluctuated in weight for decades and had a ton of clothes in a range of sizes because I never trusted that I would remain the same size (and I didn’t). I have now maintained my weight for a couple of years and no longer feel the need to have emergency clothes in case my favorites didn’t fit.

      1. +1000 to this. Buying cheap cute things is almost always a waste of money. Wear once or more likely wash once and it’s in the donate pile. I thought I was the only one!!! Meanwhile my Alice & Olivia top that I was so anxious to spend $200 on has been going strong for 10 years.

      1. I agree with this. Plenty of my clothes are meh, but if I feel bad in something all day, whether it is because the fit is off, or the neckline is wrong, or the color makes me look sallow, I take it off and put it right in the giveaway pile. I feel self-satisfied when I do this, knowing I am saving myself from a future in which I once again try to make something work that never will.

    4. I think it has to do with quantity. Marie Kondo probably has way less clothing than the average American (from what I recall from her book, as well as assumptions based on the size of Japanese apts). If you put all your money into 10 outfits it’s totally possible to love them all. But it’s a big mindset shift.

      2. This makes sense to me in theory, but I’m hard on clothes and can’t live with staining or otherwise irrevocably damaging something that cost 1/10 of my clothes budget.

    5. I don’t love everything I wear, but I love the vast majority of it. Usually if I don’t love something, its because I have put on a few pounds and don’t like how I look in it – that’s a me problem in that I need to lose the weight again and not a clothing or wardrobe problem.

    6. When I look good and love my body, I love most of what I wear. If I gain a few pounds, I feel dowdy.

    7. I think part of the sparking joy includes utility, to be fair. My understanding is that the system helps you get rid of items that you don’t like but feel obligated to keep for whatever reason (sunk cost, guilty, etc), the Kondo idea allows you to “thank” the item and move on without the guilt.

      1. This, I don’t ‘love’ my sports bras, or my pjs, or all of my work clothes but I DO love that I have items that fit, that work well for their intended purpose, and that I can easily put together outfits that suit my needs for various activities based on the contents of my closet.

        1. Oh… pjs are where I only get things I love in some way. I have to be comfortable to sleep though.

    8. I really liked Marie Kondo’s book and I find her methods helpful for decluttering stuff. For clothes, it’s trickier. My bras don’t spark joy but I still need to wear one, you know? I look at how often I wear an item, if it still fits, if it’s in good condition, if it serves a purpose.

      1. So while bras don’t spark joy, I do have favored bras and bras I only reach for when everything else is dirty. So, I got rid of the bras I don’t like and bought more of the ones I do like. Spark joy may be too strong of a term for utilitarian pieces, but life is too short to wear the pieces that I dislike or feel neutral at best about.

        1. This is the approach I take too. Not everything I own sparks joy, but I have found her approach useful for getting rid of the things I really don’t like or use. Sometimes I have to hold onto a subpar item for a while because it fills a need, but I try to pay attention to why I don’t like those things and try not to buy more, while gradually replacing them with things I like better.

    9. I read the book when it first came out, and I think it said that items should spark joy *or* be essential. Your toilet brush will probably never spark joy, but you still need it.

      After nearly a decade of trying to transition my wardrobe to one that I really like, I’d say I really like about 90% of it. I’m slow to purchase items and ruthless about returns or donations when I’m not happy with something. It takes a lot of time to get there.

    10. If the “sparks joy” concept doesn’t work for you, how about “serves a purpose and is getting used frequently” to cover things that you need for a specific purpose but will never loooove. Honestly, there are a lot of work clothes that fall into this category for me. But I’ve gotten better over time as I’ve become more selective and honed my style.

    12. I think people take the concept of ‘sparking joy’ a little too literally, it’s more of a “does the item do it’s job well and please me?” type assessment like obviously my socks do not spark joy, but they are the socks I find most comfortable, wash well, and don’t cause my feet to stink.

    13. I heard someone say once that instead of sparking joy you should consider how much you want the pressure of storing, organizing, and maintaining something. It has helped me reduce clutter a ton. Everything you own–joy or not–also carries some level of burden.

    14. I never really tried to Marie Kondo my stuff, in part because I couldn’t wrap my mind around this question. I have lots of things that don’t “spark joy,” clothing or otherwise.

      But, having something easily fulfill a real need does spark joy. So having enough boring, matching socks so I don’t have to hunt for them or do lots of laundry sparks joy. A basic black tee that goes great with some shorts that DO spark joy…can spark joy. Not having to spend lots of time making outfits or do laundry or dry cleaning or hunting for stuff that looks decent sparks joy. And if I need to have stuff that doesn’t individually spark joy to get there, that’s fine.

      Like, my paper clips and shredder and scanner don’t spark joy by themselves. But having tools available to deal with paper work at home does (…ish) because the act of dealing with it easily and efficiently sparks joy v. disorganization or trying to remember to grab paper clips at work.

    15. I don’t follow Marie Kondo because I am absolutely not a minimalist, but I do have a mostly utilitarian wardrobe because I WFH. So while there are clothing items that I see and would love to wear, I wouldn’t really wear them very often compared to leggings or jeans. I do own versions of those things I like and that are comfortable. I don’t think you should have clothes you hate to put on.

  14. I have a very close friend recently move to my city from the other coast. This is great, but I am feeling so much pressure to do things with her since she doesn’t know any one in my city other than me. I enjoy doing things with her, and we are both divorced and kids grown, so it is a great companion to do stuff with but I find that I feel resentful that I pressure myself to think of things we can do together and to make sure I see her often. I have limited this to planning something 1x a weekend but even that feels like pressure to me. I want her to like living here and to stay but I hate this self-imposed pressure I put on myself! I am a people pleaser if that is not obvious already. Any thoughts on how I can manage this better?

    1. Can you not combine doing things with her and your existing friends as a way to expand her circle? Can you do a mix of utilitarian outings and purely fun ones?

      1. This is exactly what I do now. But, this weekend for example, I just wanted to relax and get stuff done around my house (I just moved) but I felt like I had to plan something so we went to dinner and a movie on Sunday night. I would rather have just relaxed Sunday night.

        1. Dinner and a movie is a full night! Could you meet for a Sunday AM walk for an hour or a single cocktail on a Saturday evening?

          1. +1

            Brunch, or meet for coffee and rotate at a new place each time to introduce her to neighborhoods. Or take a walk and introduce her to the parks.

    2. Host a party or form a book club or something so you can introduce her to other people. Or just stop? It’s kinda weird, I wouldn’t expect this if I moved.

      1. +1 I would not expect this level of ‘hosting me’ at all if I just moved somewhere. Two or three things tops, if it’s a good friend. Then I would start to feel bad unless I am reciprocating (is your friend planning anything?). Also weekly is a lot. You just moved, but so did she – maybe she wouldn’t mind spending a weekend organizing or doing home improvement.

    3. This is likely temporary. She will meet people, and being divorced, there will likely be a fair amount of single men nosing around examining the new girl on the block. Once she finds one worthy enough to date a guy, you will see less and less of her!

    4. You are divorced with grown children. No time like the present to get some therapy and stop being a people pleaser.

      1. This is harsh, but it kind of jumped out at me as well that you are putting these expectations on yourself. It’s okay to take time for yourself — you are not responsible for your friend!

    5. What helped me was realizing that everyone’s needs/wants are equally important, but when you’re people-pleasing you’re essentially saying your needs are less important than everyone else’s. So by making plans when you’d actually rather stay in, you’re acting on the idea that her need to have a social life is more important than your need to relax. But your need to relax is just as important!

      Framing it this way helped me immensely with my relationship with my parents. I.e. My mom wants me to come visit for thanksgiving but I find it super stressful and would rather go to a beach and not see family. Why do I think her desire for me to come visit is more important than my desire to not be stressed? I’m not sure if I’m doing an eloquent job explaining this or not, but basically– don’t rank your own wants and needs lower than everyone else’s! I’m sure your friend wouldn’t say that she’s more important than you, so don’t make that judgment yourself.

    6. Why do you feel this pressure? It sounds like it’s coming from yourself and not her. And if so, remind yourself that you don’t know what she wants, maybe she would have loved a solo weekend too!

      Also helpful to me is to treat myself as my closest friend. So if I’m looking forward to alone time, I treat it like plans with a best friend. Sometimes I have to change these plans, but if so, I reschedule.

    7. I would be so hurt if I found out a friend wasn’t inviting me to things because she wants to do them with me, but because she feels bad for me and has a self-imposed rule that just to invite me to one thing a weekend. It’s nice to spend time with her and introduce her to others, but do it when you feel like it. And when you need a weekend at home, plan a weekend at home

    8. Can you wait for her to invite you to do something? At least every other time, let her initiate. It’s not like she can’t figure out a restaurant just because she is new in town. Or invite you to her place.

    9. I find these things hard. Do you have anything you need to do, like taking stuff to Recycle or some heavy shopping, that you can ask her for some help and then join you for a cup of coffee.
      When I was much younger and working abroad for the first time, my boss and his wife turned up almost every evening to take me somewhere. I eventually was abe to discourage them but I did not handle it as well I might have done and always regretted it. In my next job, where I was also a complete stranger, my new boss suggested something similar but never did it, to my relief. But over the years he included me in many events where he did not need to do so, helping advance my career.

    10. Every single weekend is a lot, especially for a grown adult who can presumably function on her own without a babysitter. It would be too much for me if I were in your friend’s shoes, although I might let it go on longer than I really wanted because I would think you must just be really lonely to be doing this so frequently.

  15. A while ago there was a discussion about getting travel insurance for medical issues. We’re planning a month long trip to Europe with extended family, including my parents who are in their 70s. I’d like to consider some sort of insurance for medical evacuation- sort of a worst case scenario if we need to get one of them back to the US for medical care. I can’t find the old thread, but I believe there were some recommendations for these types of policies. Can anyone provide recommendations for what they’ve done for this situation?

    1. If you’re not from Atlanta, you probably don’t know who Clark Howard is, but his website (clark . com) has travel medical insurance info and always recomments insure my trip.com for shopping.

    2. I compared policies on InsureMyTrip and picked one. I also did some googling for recommended coverage.

      1. Specifically, I think I looked at this Forbes article. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/l/best-travel-insurance

        Travel insurance in general is relatively cheap, but you do need to buy it close to when you first pay for something nonrefundable for the best coverage. If you are mostly concerned about medical coverage, pay close to pre-existing condition waiver rules. And definitely get it; Medicare provides no coverage outside of the US.

      2. Make sure you really understand what’s covered and what’s not. Read all the exclusions very carefully.

    3. In addition to Insure My Trip, check out the Trip Insurance Store. I bought coverage from them for a recent trip, and Steve (the owner of Trip Insurance Store, I think) was great – answered all my questions, and definitely didn’t seem to be interested in upselling – he tried to talk me out of an optional upgrade. The website is a bit chaotic, but the customer service was great.

  16. Niche question: if you worked in Center City Philadelphia but also want good access to the outdoors where would you live?

    We currently live downtown and love it, but are starting to think about where we’d like to settle down when we move out of Center City. Happy to stay in the city, go to the suburbs, and would consider the exurbs. Would like access to unpaved trails or toe paths for running or biking on a daily basis, and would want access to water, beaches, or mountains on weekends (the Shore in the summer, kayaking / hiking, and Poconos skiing in the winter).

    We’d love access to a train to Center City for commuting (both go in 3x a week), but that’s not a set in stone requirement. Would love to be in a walkable town with good schools, but don’t really care if they’re good local public schools or if the public schools aren’t good we could do private. House budget is roughly 800k, but flexible. Would prefer a 4 bed ~2000-3000 sq ft house, but that’s also flexible.

    We are truly open to any area (and then will of course do further research); for example, we’re considering a wide range of areas including Roxborough (we LOVE the Wissahickon, but don’t love city schools – hence considering private schools), Phoenixville / Mont Clare (cute, walkable area with good access to nature but no train / longer commute), Medford Lakes (love the idea of a lake community, but generally not very familiar with the Jersey side).

    1. Look along the Paoli Thorndale regional rail line. If you like Phoenixville, it’s not that far from Paoli or Malvern. But there are plenty of towns that are closer in that still have access to nature.

      1. +1 -also Amtrak stops Ardmore-Paoli-Exton and if the schedule works for you, it’s half the time that Septa takes.

    2. I’m from south jersey so I know that side more than PA. If schools matter to you look at Moorestown and Haddonfield. Two of the best districts in south jersey and pretty highly ranked in the state. Both are smaller communities, Haddonfield has a cute downtown and Moorestown has a historic district also if that’s your thing. If not you can certainly get a newer home in Moorestown too. Cherry Hill is up there in terms of school districts but it’s a huge suburb, not a small cute community with walkable areas and outdoor areas, so that is more of the typical NJ mega suburb experience with strip malls and all.

      1. Yes, my preference is older houses (but thought it’d be too picky to include that). Honestly, schools are probably less of a priority than accessibility to nature for us since we’d be happy to go the private school route. With the little I know about SJ, I think Haddonfield is cute and abhor Cherry Hill

        1. I’m the south jersey poster from above – just an FYI the private schools in south jersey are actually really mediocre. So if you buy in south jersey, you should think about which public districts suit your needs. There are various reasons for lack of private schools but part of it is that property taxes are pretty high leading to really good public schools, so way fewer people send their kids private, which then makes the private schools a touch underfunded relative to private schools every where else in the country. Often the parents opting for private schools are the ones who feel their kids need more help, smaller class sizes etc., so it’s not the powerhouse private schools that you see in NY or DC where half the class goes to the ivy league.

          If you want private though Moorestown Friends is the very top – they do really well in terms of colleges, small class sizes, elite sports that you won’t get in public like rowing, and they aren’t underfunded at all because a lot of each class has parents are high level doctors at UPenn or biglaw in Philadelphia and usually from other parts of the country so they were ALWAYS going to send their kid to private school because they aren’t used to tip top public schools like you have in NJ. Honestly Moorestown may be a good consideration all around between the historic homes, outdoor space, and a great private school as well as a top public school too.

          1. Thanks for that explanation – grew up in the PA suburbs where there are lots of very good private schools (and lots of mediocre ones too) so that’s my frame of reference. I was already familiar with Moorestown Friends but I guess I just assumed there’d be more options like it since there are so many in PA (including my alma mater).

            I think if we go over to the NJ side we’d really have to find the “perfect” place, since family is on the PA side that’s likely our preference.

    3. I think W Mt Airy/Chestnut hill (although this might be stretching your budget).

      I live here currently and can walk my kids to daycare and then go for a trail run in the Wissahickon. There’s a trail head at the end of my block.

      Houston/Jenks/Henry are well regarded public schools. Lots of good private schools in the area.

      1. Thanks! I think NW Philly + good public / magnet schools or private school is probably my preference.

        I really love how you can be in the city, enjoy great public transportation + walkable restaurants and shops while still being steps away from the Wissahickon. And, how unlike now, you can have all that and easy parking to use your car to go down the shore or to the Poconos.

        My parents are both from the NW and we lived there until we decamped to Montco when it was time for me to start K. It’s really such a great area.

        1. So far we’ve loved our local public school though and our kids are thriving. I would warn you to look at catchments when buying a house as the local schools are so popular that they’ve significantly curtailed the amount of out of catchment students they take.

          2. As a proud Philly resident now, I do worry a little about raising kids in the city. Not because of safety or education, but because even in NW things just seem a little “harder” or more complicated then they are in the burbs where the local government is more flush. If you’re still on, would love to hear your perspective on this.

            For example, I have fond memories of being in the burbs and going to different events at the library, but I know that city libraries have such limited night / weekend hours. As an adult, I just get a lot of library ebooks so I don’t need to go to the library, but I’d want to be able to take my kids and browse or go to story time on a Saturday. Likewise, my suburban township had a great public pool. While Philly has public pools too, their hours and opening dates are definitely more limited than what I grew up with. We also had more swimming lessons and township swim team options, which were really fun aspects of my childhood. Finally, township sports were a fun part of my childhood and I know that that’d look very different in the city. Looking at the Roxborough Y, it has more limited programming than suburban ones for kids. How has your experience been with this so far?

    4. I live in Chester County and have access to trail after trail after trail along with Valley Forge Park.
      Grew in South Jersey and family still lives there so am there often. NJ doesn’t have the interconnected trail system that the PA suburbs do.

      1. Thanks! I’m from the PA burbs / have lived in the city for a while and the fact that I can pop on the SRT and ride all the way to Valley Forge and beyond is incredible. I prefer to be more “off road” than the SRT, but it really is such an incredible feature.

        I don’t know much about Chester County (grew up in Montco), but the little I know of it, it’s certainly bucolic.

      1. It’s not! I’m just not very familiar with it – have exclusively lived in Philly or Montco!

      2. Be warned that the drive from upper bucks to center city is like 1.5 hrs + in the morning.

    6. I work in Center City and have more coworkers commuting from far away locations than I’d expect. I know two people who Amtrak in from Lancaster, two who drive in from Bethlehem, one from northeastern Maryland (she lives on a farm), and a few from rural central or south Jersey. I also have two former coworkers who still live in Philly but now work for the state and this commute via Amtrak to Harrisburg, so I imagine the reverse is also doable.

  17. I placed an order last Monday night from J. Crew Factory for the first time. I did not create an account, so I checked out as a guest. I did not receive a confirmation email, but I did keep up the confirmation page and PDFd it so I would have a record (the tab is actually still open on my computer). The confirmation page doesn’t have an order number on it, which is very strange. On Thursday last week I used the website’s online chat to ask about the order. The person told me they have received the order but it was still being confirmed, which is why I haven’t received a confirmation email or an order number. She said I would receive them when the order is confirmed. There was a pending charge on my credit card for a few days but that is now gone. It is now a full week since my order and I have no confirmation email and no clothes delivered (delivery date would theoretically be by tomorrow)! What the heck is going on? Has this happened to anyone else? Am I just never going to receive what I ordered?

    1. yes. same thing happened to me last week, had never ordered from them before. my stuff came. i wouldn’t worry about it.

    2. Update: right after posting this I got an email from them saying the order was unable to be processed due to a site error, please call us. I called, spoke with a lovely customer service agent who was able to redo the whole order and give me the price I paid last time, and placed a fresh order. I now have a confirmation email and everything.

  18. I’ve posted over the past few months about a three generation trip to japan– know there are some folks who are active on the site who have been recently and hoping some of you are online this morning. Are we OK with our domestic phone plans? I’ve never done anything extra for europe and it’s all good but i have seem some stuff on the internet about buying a sim or a hot spot– not sure if that’s outdated? thanks

    1. I have T Mobile Magenta which has free data and text internationally and I had no issues in Japan, it worked just as well there as in Europe.
      The most challenging place I’ve been was Turkey. It worked fine in theory but I had no cell phone reception 90% of the time.

    2. If people in your group have a “fancy” CC, see what coverage you may get automatically. My Chase Sapphire Reserve has some of these credits, I believe.

    3. I called my carrier (Verizon) and signed up for an international calling and texting plan for a month before I went to EU. It was a good deal and I was happy to have the coverage.

  19. I think I need a total and complete wardrobe overhaul. I’m 40 this year. I work in a financial services and I’m client facing. Appearance/presentation matters – being put together is the goal but crisp > trendy. I have two very little kids so my weekends are athleisure for the most part. Weekdays are MM Lafleur, JCrew, Boden, with some other mall brands sprinkled in — I’ve always gone for classic silhouettes which fits my world. Typically wear a uniform of neutrals – grey, black, camel, some navy if I’m feeling risky….kidding, kind of. My (mostly male) colleagues are purebred “finance bros” in terms of attire. I’m one of the only women at my level so not a lot to point to.

    Anyway, I have a LOT of closet space that is very full, and despite that I currently wear the same ~10 things if I’m not in athleisure – so that includes to work, to dinners out with friends, date nights, etc. I honestly don’t know what I’d grab to wear to a date night right now apart from an easy sun dress, of which I only wear the same 3-4. Part of the issue is that I’ve fluctuated 5 different sizes over the last decade (8 through 16) during child bearing and a particularly long and hormone-infused infertility battle. Most sizes are 10-12, and I’m currently a 14, though actively getting smaller (thanks GLP1s..).

    I thought about doing the thing where you turn the hangers backwards and after like 6 months or a full set of season rotation tossing what I don’t wear. But I know definitively that would be 90%+ of my closet. What would you do if you were me? I long for looking polished, having options. But I’m really reluctant to donate it all and effectively start over (which is prob what actually needs to happen) I think because I’ve had such a wide weight variation over the last 10 years and deep down I’m afraid I won’t find anything that I feel good in, regardless of the fact what currently occupies my closet doesn’t make me feel good and/or doesn’t get worn at all.

    Help? Do I start with work? Leisure? Wait until I lose more and my body hits a bit more of a size stability? Donate what I don’t wear because the full closet is giving me a false sense of “I have what I need – make it work” when the reality is, I do not at all have what I need? I need help from all sides. It just feels too overwhelming (and expensive) to start. But I’m guessing even adding 2-3 items for each wear category would go a long way in the immediate term. Thanks if you’ve stuck around to the end – it’s been kind of all-consuming lately.

    1. If you’re not wearing it, there’s a reason. It doesn’t deserve space in your closet if you’re really not going to wear it.

      I did the backward hanger thing and challenged myself to wear things I hadn’t worn yet – basically, if you don’t wear this, you have to get rid of it. It helped me figure out why I wasn’t wearing those things.

      In some cases I just didn’t like them or how they looked on me & some of my hesitation in getting rid of it was that it was in good shape or I had paid a lot for it. But it doesn’t make sense to keep it forever just because of that, so put it went.

      The other common thing was not having an outfit or a way to put an outfit together with some of the closet orphans. In some cases I did figure it out and happily kept that item. In other cases, it would have involved buying new things to wear with them, and in those cases I just said no and eliminated it from my closet.

      My most worn out things are my favorite things – which makes sense because they’re worn the most often. But if I stick with only those things, I’m wandering around in worn out clothing. So I stared trying to get newer versions of things I know I will wear a lot & replace the worn out things as they get too shabby. That strategy keeps me away from my “ooh shiny” impulses to buy things I will rarely wear.

    2. Well since you asked…. 1) it sounds like your work clothes are OK. I would start with personal life stuff. 2) Get rid of stuff that doesn’t fit that is a few years old, you won’t wear it and when you get down to your goal weight you will want to buy new things. 3) If you are on the way down this summer but a few inexpensive but current things (something to wear to a barbeque, something to wear on a date, a few things to kick around on weekends). 4) Take out the stuff you are pretty sure you aren’t keeping (or do the hanger thing). In september any summer clothes that you haven’t gone looking for, take out, bag, and posh mark (sounds like you have nice things, might be able to sell) or donate. Good luck!

    3. If you are hesitant to donate too much, pack up everything you don’t wear often and put it in storage for a month. At the end of the month do you remember/miss anything? (obviously only for in-season items). If you can’t think of anything you miss, donate. If you realize in a week or two that you actually do need whatever item, you can just get it out of storage.

    4. so the problem sounds like what you currently have in your closet doesn’t make you feel good?

      Here is what i would do (and this depends on closet space): go through your closet and move everything that currently doesn’t fit to another closet in size order. get rid of things not in good shape, that you don’t imagine every liking again, etc.

      then, look at what is left. does what you have meet your needs? more is not necessarily better. i also reach for the same things in my closet, as do I think a lot of people and i don’t think variety is always the spice of life. how many work outfits do you need that you feel good it? same thing with weekend outfits? and night out outfits? you likely don’t need 30+ different outfits for each category.

      *i should also take my own advice and do this bc i too have a closet full of stuff that never gets worn. i turn 40 next May, but am trying to lose some weight, but i aim to do this after i turn 40

    5. I’d start with some fun and functional weekend clothing in two categories:
      Active but pulled together (stuff for going to parks with kids, family outings, etc.) – this is NOT true activewear which IMHO is a whole different category.
      Date nights/dressy weekend wear.
      I’d aim for 3 outfits for each category. I don’t know what you prefer so I’ll give you my picks based on my coastal grandma/pretty preppy life.
      Active stuff: Solid neutral colors for all of these – 1 pair of chino shorts, 1 flowy skirt or skort (I’d go for either a washable midi skirt or a longer tennis skirt), 1 lightweight pant (wide leg linen pants or something like the brooklyn pant). Three tops – nicer t-shirt in either a bright color or print, popover top in cotton or linen, a ‘going out’ top (eyelet/seersucker/silk/ – something fun). You can also sub in an activewear dress for one outfit – tennis dress or something similar
      Nice weekend stuff – 2 dresses, 1 pair of nice jeans and dressy top.
      Maxi dress that has an easy waist – Jcrew has a ton of these. Go for a print or something with a fun detail. Shirt dress/popover dress – Cap Hill style has posted a ton recently, I’d start at Jcrew or Anthropologie – this can also be an easy Friday outfit. Jeans – White jeans or sailor jeans – I’d go with the spanx ones as they seem like they’d accomodate size fluctuations. Dressy top – something like a silk equipment top or something from Zadig and Voltaire.
      Shoes – fashion sneakers in white/neutral, flat sandal, espadrille or ballet flat.

    6. I would remove anything that doesn’t currently fit and store it in boxes or another closet (I recommend sorting by size). While you do this, trash/recycle/donate anything you definitely would never wear again – never liked it, don’t like it any more, stained/pilled, etc. to just cull it a bit. This should give you an idea of what you’re currently working with and if you need to fill any holes at your current weight for the current season. Maybe you just need one more dress that could work for a date night and a couple shirts that you can grab on your next online shopping or mall excursion. Since you’re losing weight and most of your clothes are the next size or two down, when your current stuff gets to be too big you can pull out those boxes and see what works for you still. Maybe it’s a lot, maybe it’s not. Once again, remove what doesn’t fit from your closet and store/donate/trash/recycle, then fill in the gaps. You might be a completely different shape and find that none of your pants fit right even though they are the correct size, or you don’t like the look of any of your dresses because they fit a post-baby/fertility treatment body, which is different from your current body. Then you can evaluate where your holes are and fill in as needed based on the season.

      The reason I don’t recommend a complete cull of everything that doesn’t fit you now is that you are changing sizes, potentially rapidly, and it would really stink to have to buy an entire new wardrobe every few months. And it sounds like your tastes run fairly classic, so you should have a number of things that still will be acceptable for work and weekends even if they’re not super current or trendy (doesn’t sound like that’s what you would want anyway). Once your weight settles a bit, then you can evaluate whether it makes sense to completely discard the stuff that doesn’t fit and lean into more items at your new size. (spoken as someone whose weight has also changed over the years, it’s nice to have stuff in the next size up or down)

    7. I would approach it a little differently than turning hangers and waiting 6 months. I’d put a plastic tub, or a box or a laundry basiket or a bag in my closet and if I reached for something and put it on and it didn’t make me feel great or look good I would take it off and put it in the tub. If I did feel ok in the morning but I wore it to work and was super annoyed by my outfit by lunch time or by the time I got home I would put it in the tub. Then this weekend I would spend a few hours shopping and pick out 2 really nice outfits, I’m thinking 6 pieces — 2 pairs of pants or skirts/2 tops/2 jackers or 3rd pieces. But I would really shop and find things that fit and looked good and that made me feel good, if I didn’t find those pieces I wouldn’t buy, because I do think you are suffering from the “my closet is full, I must be ok” syndorome. I would do this for about a month. At the end, you closet should be mostly cleaned out and you should have 6 to 8 good work outfits. Then devote a day to cleaning and organizing your closet and getting rid of the rest of the dreck. If you change sizes, then repeat the process. I would start with work clothes, and then pick out something for date night/dinner with friends, because it sounds like you have some sun dresses that will work for now. If, when cleaning your closet or trying on outfits, you come across something you really love and it’s a little too tight, then turn the hanger backwards — it sounds like you are still losing weight so you may be able to use it in a few months.

    8. I’m kind of in this middle of this as well (in the middle of having kids so my body is fluctuating a lot and not sure where I’ll end up).

      I went through my closet and divided it up into like/don’t like (ignoring the size). Don’t like will eventually get donated (I’m bad at taking seasons into account so I hate the idea of sweaters right now but come fall, I’ll want some and will go back and pull out the ones I truly want and then donate the rest). Then I divided the likes into fit/doesn’t currently fit. Doesn’t currently fit got stored into a plastic tote in my closet. So now the only things on display in my closet are things I’m actively wearing. Based on that it was pretty easy to see the gaps in my current wardrobe.

      Since I’m still fluctuating, I only buy stuff that I really need (roughly 5-10 work outfits, 2-4 weekend-athleisure outfits, 1 cute outfit).

      Once I stabilize size wise I’ll reanalyze and start adding more. Will donate the “like but doesn’t currently fit” in my extreme sizes but will probably keep classics and things I live in different sizes in case I fluctuate in the future.

    9. In a very similar position at work and phase of life.

      I recommend

      1: being ruthless about culling things that do not fit and you are not currently wearing/aspiring to wear. I donated a ton of stuff to our local dress for success chapter and it was great to get the locket space back and feel like my things were being reused.

      2: I signed up for nuuly clothing rental. As my body is shifting (and I’m acclimating to new styles) it’s a low stakes and fun way to refresh my wardrobe.

    10. My way of doing this – pick a size you haven’t been smaller than in the last five year and a size you haven’t been bigger than in the last five years. All clothes on the small and larger end of that range get donated – you haven’t worn them in the last five years. Once that cull is done, I go through everything focusing on the item itself – is it worn, have holes, lost its shape, etc. Those all go in the trash. These first two culls are easy because this is not focusing on likes, emotional attachment. Then look through everything and cull out the for donation pile. I normally go with actually trying everything near my size on and will have the donation bag sit a while.

    11. +1 for renting clothes. My clothes are old and out of style, my weight fluctuates too, I hate shopping (and many stores don’t carry much inventory anymore) and feel wasteful ordering and returning clothes online. I rent from Armoire and it’s not super cost effective, but it’s helping a little bit to figure out what styles do and don’t work for me these days. You can buy the clothes at a discount (because they’re used) if you find something you love. And if you hate online browsing, a stylist will pick styles for you. That feature has helped me stretch a bit. They have a lot of work clothes, but also special occasion dresses, etc. One major downside is they don’t have petite pants, so that limits work options a fair bit if you’re short-legged like me.

    12. If you want to just hire someone to help with this, I recommend lilafoxstyle.com. She’s terrific and this is exactly in her wheelhouse.

    13. Figure out how much space you have to keep clothes that do not currently fit, but that you would happily wear tomorrow if they did.

      Do you have a guest room closet that can be designated for too big or small items? Do you have space on a top shelf in your closet where you could put some opaque bins? Do you have a big suitcase you almost never use?

      Whatever the space you have spare, that’s your limit. Do not keep clothes that do not fit you right now in with your daily clothes. When you open your closet, everything you see should be a real option to wear.

      Take your favorite items that do not fit, one at a time, and put them in the designated place. If you suddenly remember that a sweater is super itchy, or that it has that stain, or that you never really liked it, consider donating or recycling. The goal should be that you will be happy or relieved to be able to use the put-aside item later.

      When your designated set-aside space is full of your favorite things of those that do not fit, you can consider donating the rest.

      When your closet is filled ONLY with clothes that fit, that is the time where you might do the backwards hangers, to see if you do use the clothes you have that fit, and what you might need to add. But as long as you have all that other stuff cluttering your daily closet, it will be too overwhelming to make decisions that is useful to the size you are right now.

  20. I’m new to progressive lenses and trying to understand if my experience is typical or if I need to get a second opinion. I got the lenses in January and one of them has been consistently un-crisp — I can read and see at a distance, but one eye is sharp and fine, and the other eye is fuzzy. I have astigmatism in both eyes, one more than another, and the blurry eye has the lesser astigmatism. I’m not sure how else to describe it other than it’s not what I expect from new glasses – it’s fuzzy at a distance or up close, though I can see well enough to get along. I’ve been back 3x to have the lenses tweaked but the doctor last time basically just said that I needed to live with it, and maybe get a separate set of computer glasses.

    I’ve invested an enormous amount of time into this process, and the glasses were nearly $1K, so I’d like to find a way to make it work. But it’s hard to know whether my expectations are unreasonable or if I should start over with a second opinion from someone else. I’d appreciate input from anyone who has progressive lenses or is familiar with optometry enough to advise.

    1. do not try and make it work! your vision is incredibly important!!! Something is not right. When I got my progressives, i had no adjustment, they just worked. If doctor isn’t cooperating, i would complain to credit card company, try to get your money back and go somewhere new.

    2. That is not typical. It takes a while to get used to but you should be able to focus! Go back to the optician right now

    3. I’ve worn progressives for over 20 years without any problems like you’re describing. I also have an astigmatism.

      I’m not sure if the issue is the rx or the lenses. I would see another doctor for a new rx, but don’t buy their expenses glasses.

      I’ve bought about 5 pairs from Zenni, each under $100, and I highly recommend them. One pair weren’t properly made, and I felt dizzy. They refunded my money, no questions asked, and I didn’t even need to return the glasses.

    4. My progressive lens glasses have been consistently great. My multifocal contacts aren’t great, and I haven’t gotten a successful pair to both read and see far away.

      1. +1 I’ve tried multifocal / progressive contacts a few times, and they just didn’t work for me. Glasses are great!

      2. I have worn multifocal lenses for nearly 20 years. I love everything about them, but my doctor always comments that I am “one of the lucky ones” to have such success with multifocals.

    5. Most opticians will redo your lens once for free within the year. Go back and let them check it out for you.

    6. I agree that this doesn’t sound typical. It took me about a week to adjust to progressives the first time I got them, and then almost no time to adjust to changes in my prescriptions since then. It is possible that you will need a separate pair of computer glasses, my husband has a separate pair with a presscription lens for very close up detailed work. His normal glasses just couldn’t give him the sharpness of detail he needs for one of his hobbies. He did need to work with the eye doctor to get the prescription right — there were a few missed tries in the mix to start with.

  21. I’m trying to eat fewer carbs and more protein. Pasta is my guilty pleasure – does anyone have a good pasta alternative to recommend?

    1. I do like Barilla protein pasta. You can also replace some or all of your pasta with veggies: Spaghetti squash is my preference. Or I will use less pasta and bulk it out with things like broccoli or other veggies
      You can also make the pasta a side dish instead of the main meal.

      1. yes, this!

        if i really want a huge bowl of spaghetti or something i’ll mix half spaghetti with half zoodles or half of the palmini things.

    2. If you like pasta, I’d just decrease the ratio of pasta to other things in your pasta dishes. I eat a lot of pasta salads that are at least half beans and veggies (white beans and chickpeas go best with pasta, in my opinion). I also like the Barilla plus protein pasta.

    4. I eat a lot of chickpea pasta with veggies, a protein, and sauce. For protein I do turkey meatballs or shrimp but you can also do ground turkey / beef, chicken, etc.

    6. I think all the protein/chickpea/alternative pastas are gross. I prefer to still eat regular pasta but add lots of veggies so I’m just eating less noodles. I love a good bow tie with tons of zucchini and mushrooms and just a light olive oil and lemon sauce. Its great hot or cold. Add some feta and kalamata olives to dress it up too.

      1. Same. The pasta alternatives don’t do it for me. I’d rather eat less of the stuff I like.

      2. I horrify my Italian friends by saying this, but I really can’t tell the difference between Banza and normal pasta. But, I love a good red sauce so if I’m eating pasta that’s usually what I’m eating it in – maybe its less noticeable when its in a difference sauce?

        1. Lupini based pasta tastes different from semolina, but I think it’s still traditionally Italian.

    7. Beans and bean-based pasta are still relatively high in carbs. Try spaghetti squash.

    8. Kaizen pasta is low carb and high protein. It’s definitely an acquired texture but cooked al dente with sauce it hits the protein craving spot. 20g protein, 6g net carbs and 15g fiber per 4oz serving. Can get it on their website or amazon.

  22. I’m feeling completely burnt out. I get no satisfaction from my job and dread each Monday. I’m having trouble sleeping. Last night, I tossed and turned until past 3 AM, which in turns wakes up my husband. He’s worried, and it makes me feel bad that I’m disturbing him. I did an online burnout survey and scored like 100%…

    He reminds me to be grateful I have a relatively well paying job with a kind boss, but I truly dread the work and feel it is pointless. I can’t imagine doing this particular career field for another 20-30 years.

    I’ve considered switching fields, but I fear I’m too senior in my current field to get a comparable job elsewhere that pays the mortgage and bills. I paid for a career coach (recommended by a friend of a friend) about a year ago, and it was a total waste of money. The deliverables we discussed didn’t happen, and shame on me for not having a clearer contract.

    How can I start to tackle this problem? I’m a very action-oriented person who likes having a list and a plan, and I’m feeling very much adrift. I’m seeing a therapist who also isn’t that helpful. She’s very nice, but she says things like “you’re a highly educated successful person, and there are other jobs out there”. None of it feels actionable, and I feel like the sessions are just me venting.

    1. Tell your therapist what you said here, and if her response isn’t helpful, find another therapist else.

      1. I mean, any other therapist is probably also going to advise OP to look for a different job. If OP doesn’t wanna do it, I’m not sure therapy is gonna help.

        1. OP here – I’ve been actively applying and interviewing, as well as networking, in other fields. No luck so far.

    2. Agree with directly asking your therapist for actionable steps, and if she doesn’t respond with what you need, find another therapist.

      But I also want to suggest detaching some of this from your job. My own experience mirrors yours a bit — I am senior in a job. It felt pointless and hard without payoff. But I didn’t feel like it was reasonable for me to leave because of the particulars of my field and family life.

      So I spent time doing something else — for me, that was yoga teacher training (but it could be anything). And that gave me a sense of focus, of the joy of learning something, of purpose. Can you find something like that — learning a language, a new art, a volunteer position, etc?

      I know that doesn’t address the underlying issues, which may include depression and malaise. But it is something actionable, and that in itself might spur working through the underlying issues.

      1. OP here – I appreciate the suggestion of a hobby. I do feel tired thinking of adding something new, but I also recognize whatever my equivalent of yoga teacher training could give me something to look forward to. Thanks for sharing your experience!

        1. Yoga suggester here. I completely understand how the idea of just adding something feels like just another thing on the to-do list, and I also just want to say how much I empathize with how you’re feeling. A hobby or a new learning opportunity isn’t a cure-all, for sure. But it did help me.

          Best of luck to you, and please update as you navigate this. It’s tough.

    4. The list and plan for getting out of burnout is not one you are going to like. Everything short of a proper break and big shift is harm reduction in the short term. You need to be able to rest, sleep and decompress and it takes time – like three to six months. I don’t say this to discourage you but to acknowledge why the solutions of “well take some yoga classes” or “go for a walk in nature” don’t do the job. What you need to do is figure out what the patterns of behavior are that are leading you to the burn out – are you internalizing other people’s stress, are you agreeing to stuff you don’t need to do because you feel pressure, are you always working at 120% because that’s how you are self treating your ADHD? Along with a healthy dose of sleep.

      1. OP here – I appreciate this comment. I do have ADHD, and working at 120% resonates because there have been layoffs in my team. Half the team has left in the last year, and we can’t rehire. It feels like everything falls on me to keep the ship afloat, in an industry I was already pretty tired of. I don’t feel good about what we do at work, and I feel extra exhausted having to take on more and more without a raise (not in the budget now, of course).

    5. Real talk? Go on vacation and find some hobbies. Work is called work for a reason. Don’t discount being able to pay the bills and having a great boss – those are holy grails for most people. Also though, how old are you? By that I mean how far into your career are you? If you have another 30 years to go, you might want to look at grad school or making a change to what you’re doing as that is a long time to be unhappy with your work.

      1. OP here – I’m 40, and I’ve been working 15+ years. I have thought about grad school, but I’m not eager to take out more student loans without a clear earnings potential ROI.

          1. Ohhh this changes my answer a lot. You have more mobility than you think, you just need to get a little creative and network. You might need to take a step down or sideways, but you have a lot of options (said as a lawyer myself). I have seen friends move from plaintiff PI to state enforcement agency lawyer; litigator to workplace investigations lawyer; the classic moves of law firm/government to in-house; big company to start-up, corporate practice area to family law, etc. These moves almost always happen via personal connections and I think you just need to activate your network. Also recognize it may take a little time too. My get a hobby advice still stands, but I think you can move around within law pretty easily if you’re willing to start over essentially.

    6. Why do you dread the work and think it is pointless? I don’t have a “save the world” job, but even as a cog in a massive corporate machine, I understand my role and what value I bring to the company.

      1. Unfortunately I do have a “save the world” job – I work in the public sector, and since covid it feels like everything is so politicized that makes much of our work out of our control. There’s very little room or encouragement for innovation. If I have a new idea, my boss says maybe we can try it next year, and it never happens.

        It feels like I do the same thing day after day without achieving anything, and with staff reductions, I’m just taking on more and more of the same.

        I’m also at a stage where there’s no upward advancement unless someone retires or passes away. That’s why I say I can’t imagine doing this for 20 or 30 more years, which is a very real possibility. I have colleagues at my level who are retiring and never advanced.

        I feel like my work isn’t respected. As I’ve been networking, for instance at alumni events, people have made remarks that they’re surprised my work is a job, not a volunteering opportunity. It feels like I wasted my education and blocked myself into a narrow space.

        1. even the public sector has been disrupted by entrepreneurs who have new ideas… keep a list and consider going after one yourself.

    7. I get bored with my job sometimes, but if I thought about doing it for the next 30-40 years I’d absolutely hate it. Try to remind yourself that it’s only a job that is convenient for you to have at this moment in time. As the quote from Mo Willems goes, you are not a tree. If you’re not where you want to be, move. — but it’s ok to recognize that you can’t move right this instant, but you can still be planning on moving eventually and keeping your eyes open for opportunities.

      I think leaning out is also something to consider, like someone else said about your job stressors – make sure eveyrhting on your back right now needs to be there. Delegate. Offload.

      Can you get a new hobby? Bird watching maybe? I just picked up gardening and it’s lovely learning about something new.

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