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Weekend Open Thread

woman wears gray sweatshirt with polo collar

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Which are your coziest clothes, as we head into colder weather? Some of my newer favorites include the Spanx Air Essentials line, and this sweatshirt with a polo collar looks like trendy but still very comfy.

The sweatshirt is $110 at Nordstrom and Spanx (both have options from XS-3X).

Looking for something similar? Tuckernuck has something similar for $118, and Frank & Eileen does too at $238 (and Nordstrom has the Frank & Eileen one marked down to $142 in limited colors.) On the more affordable side, this quarter zip from Old Navy looks similar for $34, and so does this cropped sweatshirt that pays homage to Old Navy in 1994.

Sales of note for 12.5

98 Comments

  1. I realized this week that I was a confident 25-year old new lawyer, and feel much different as a 35-year old lawyer. I’m both more confident in what I know and also more confident that there is a LOT I do not know. I do not look back at my 25 year old self with regrets or think “what an idiot,” or even too naive, even though I’ve changed my priorities quite a bit since then. (My definition of client emergency has changed a lot!) Just curious – for those of you who have been in the same job or same profession for longer, is there a plateau? Will I likely look back at 45 and 55, 65+ and think, wow I really knew nothing at 35?

    1. Yes and no. At closer to 45 I am one of the nation’s leading experts in a very specialized topic, and I do feel confident that there is no one else who knows more about certain aspects of the topic than I do or has more experience with it in the real world. At the same time, I am painfully aware of how much I don’t know about the politics of the topic in some jurisdictions, adjacent parts of the field, etc.

    2. Yes and no as well. Honestly, there were things I was better at at 35 and things I’m better at now. But, being older has made me not mind having doctors younger than me because I do realize you get both better an worse at things over time.

      1. I’ll add — I sweated the small stuff at 35 for both better, and for worse, in a way I just don’t have the heart/time/drive to anymore.

    3. At 45 – I still have imposter syndrome about what I know about my very specialized marketplace and I don’t feel like I’ve done as much or gotten as far as I wanted, but I also can see my role in the fullness of time. Like before things that felt very emergent had to be dealt with in 24 hours. Now I know that difficult things (complex transactions with significant distress) can take a lot of time to figure out.

    4. I’m a lawyer and I don’t think so. In law, there’s a point at about 10 years out when you really do know all the basics of how to run a case independently. There’s always room to learn more about a specific area of law or improve incrementally.at a specific skill. But you know how to practice law. This is the point in many lawyers’ careers when they begin teaching others and/or start being rainmakers. They are senior enough and they know enough that they can start to publish articles, or teach CLE classes, or really be trusted by clients. I don’t think back on my 35-year-old self and think I knew nothing (which I do looking back at my 25-year-old self). I look back and I think, wow I was doing great then! I was where I needed to be at that point in my career—I knew how to litigate—and everything I’ve done since then has grown out of that.

    5. I definitely look back and think how unaware I was of the situational politics, and those frequently determine outcome regardless of the legal advice. In some ways, it is maddening, but in other ways, it is kind of liberating and allows me greater detachment.

    6. The more you learn, the less you realize you know.

      It’s good to be humble. I really thought I had life figured out at 25.

      1. This. I’m 50, been practicing for 25 years and while I have a lot of perspective, I also know what I don’t know.

    7. I learned alot when I began after law school, but now, I am over 40 and to a certain extent unfulfilled. I am a partner at a law firm, but missed out on being a mom. My sister has 4 kids, and lives in the suburbs, and I am in the city in a nice place, but still, without a family, I am unfilled. If I could do it again, I would not have been to selective with men and would have had a child who would be mabye 15
      by now. I recommend all professionals think about this and not be like I was.

  2. About client holiday gifts: I’m going on my first parental leave at the end of this month, so thinking ahead about client holiday gifts now. I’m a partner at an AmLaw100 firm. Does anyone have awesome ideas for unique or meaningful client holiday gifts? Looking for something that stands out, leaves an impression, etc.

      1. Thank you! I saw those were for non-law, and seemed to be tailored to that context. I think a lot of those suggestions are too casual for the clients we’re sending to here. Any other ideas, folks?

    2. Adding to the above…

      Most useful, inexpensive, and looked at frequently- a Tide pen and a little slider that you can put over your laptop camera.

      For group consumables, it’s tough to balance packaging volume vs. people feeling comfortable taking and enjoying the product. Like Cheryl’s Cookies have enough plastic to recarpet my office, but I don’t have to wonder if the person whose “just allergies I swear” coughing all day was all over the basket before I got there. You get more credit if you order from somewhere local to the client rather than Gift Baskets R Us.

      Most overrun with – trendy water bottle du jour (my branded collection spans S’well, Hydroflask, Yeti, Stanley already), umbrellas, insulated travel mugs, reusable shopping bags

      1. Thanks for sharing the slider you put over your laptop camera. Sounds like a great stocking stuffer!

    3. Are you sending gifts to individuals or the entire department, and what is your price range?

    4. It may be a little too late to be one of the first ones they have but a nice small travel portable charger with your logo on it at least won’t probably end up in the trash. It may end up with the assistant or the client’s teenage kid who could use it but it is very usable.

    5. A firm-branded JBL Go speaker gets used everyday at my house. Many years ago I got a mini tool set in a zip pouch that we use weekly at home too. for consumables, what about teas,hot chocolates, liquid iv/or the like for holiday parties/recovery. it’s winter, so ice scraper, gloves? just remembering I got usb hand warmers from a firm last year, saved me at a gaveside funeral in December.

  3. What do you consider your hobbies? What did your hobbies include previously? What do you want to get into more?

    My definition has broadened recently from things I never do (creative writing, swimming) to things I actually do at this moment in my life.

    My current list would be
    – reading and listening to novels
    – cut flower gardening
    – Sudoku
    – strength training
    – curly hair
    – makeup

    I might also say organizing because I enjoy it in theory but live in a wildly unorganized house.

    Previous hobbies included shopping, Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing, and hopefully future hobbies include watercolor and travel.

    2. I’d say…

      Travel/trip planning
      Baking
      Reading
      Walking
      I have my round of games I play online every day but I don’t know that it rises to the level of a hobby
      And, I guess, hanging out here

      In the past I was more into working out but since my gym closed in the pandemic that’s been hit or miss. I do try to walk most days still. Also was much more into fashion in the past but that’s receded since the pandemic and also since I retired. We were doing jigsaw puzzles for a while and that was fun but I’m not sure that’s practical now that we have kitties. Oh, and in the past I have been a real personal finance maven and I’m still interested although don’t spend as much time on it any more.

      1. My list is pretty much identical! Travel and travel planning (including for friends and family), reading, baking, walking and the daily NYT games.

        I also do a lot of volunteering in my kid’s school and lead her Girl Scout troop, but I’m not sure that’s really a hobby.

        1. Good grief I forgot my volunteer gigs, which take up a ton of my time. But, like you, I don’t really consider them hobbies.

    3. I would say that tennis is my main hobby. I love traveling, but I do not know if that qualifies as a hobby exactly. I also exercise regularly, but I do that more for health reasons than because I find it fun.

    4. Baking
      Yoga
      Knitting
      Reading

      I play a number of suduko, solitaire, crossword, wordle, strands, etc games daily, but I consider those brain preservation and not hobbies.
      I walk and strength train, but those are physical preservation and not hobbies.
      I added yoga above but that might be a habit and not a hobby.

    5. Honestly, my favorite thing to do is lay on the couch with my cuddly cat. Sometimes I’ll read or watch TV or scroll on my phone while doing it, but relaxing with my cat is the main activity (typing this while on the couch with my cat). Other hobbies include collecting vinyl records and playing with makeup.

    6. I’d say current hobbies are:

      Barre class
      Reading
      Walks/runs
      Tennis and now pickleball
      Cocktails

    7. Cooking, reading/audiobooks, knitting, playing the piano, walking, gardening, skincare, pet ownership, clothing/fashion, makeup, hair, health

      Not necessarily in that order. Just trying to think of everything I spend my non work time on.

      1. I feel like I just filled out one of those surveys they ask you when you’re registering a warranty.

    8. My hobbies include:
      – reading
      – barre classes (Love my studio community!)
      – any sort of art and art classes
      – travel or planning for travel
      – cooking (this comes and goes, I’m more likely to be into cooking in the winter)

    9. My current hobby is yoga. I used to read a lot more and really want to get back to reading more novels. My attention span has been destroyed by my phone.

      Cooking was a hobby for a time but I am now just over it.

    10. Cooking and baking
      Reading
      Movies and tv
      Outdoors and nature, which sometimes overlaps with exercise, but not always, as I like to exercise for its own sake and also to be outside without getting much of a workout (birding can mean walking very slowly or not at all)

    11. horseback riding, yoga, gardening, photography, hiking (though this is somewhat related to the photography as I hile for good views and wildlife) , and reading fantasy novels. I used to swim and when I was kid, I had more creative hobbies like beadwork, sewing, and writing, but I swear being a lawyer (or maybe just working generally) killed my creative tendencies. maybe I’ll pick them back up in retirement. I’d like to learn how to do stained glass.

    12. Frequent hobbies at the moment:
      Reading
      my fandom centric tumblr
      drawing
      collage and mixed media
      papercrafts/bookmaking and graphic design
      art journaling
      walking
      house plants
      asian drama and romance shows
      influencer drama

      Infrequent hobbies (every once in a while/I go through phases)
      crochet
      painting
      photography
      written journaling
      writing
      anime
      webcomics

    13. This is fun!

      Current:
      – horseback riding
      – gravel and mtb cycling
      – running
      – reading
      – OrangeTheory (yes I consider this a hobby that is good for me lol)
      – house plant gardening
      – crosswords/word games
      – travel
      – hiking
      – my senior dogs (do they count? They take ul a lot of time!)

      Occasional:
      – taking a class to learn something new
      – (attempting and failing to) learning a new language
      – cooking when I have time

      1. Gah! I forgot birding and yoga, although I have fallen off the steady yoga train of late.

    14. Yoga/meditation (teaching and practicing)
      Lazy yet somehow successful gardening and houseplants
      Hiking/walking
      Weightlifting
      Slowly curating my home/decor
      Reading (although tbh this feels less like a hobby and more like part of who I am)
      Also I’ll own up that I love tv series, and love a couple cozy hours on the coach watching tv.

      I got a paddleboard at the end of summer so hopefully will be adding that to the list next summer; I only used it twice so it seems premature to claim it.

    15. My hobby is eating. To support my primary hobby, I took up the secondary hobby of cooking.

  4. Does anyone know if the MoMa online shop does a good Black Friday sale? Is it worth waiting to order what I am going to buy?

    1. You might get like 10% off for signing up for email, or free shipping or something but in general I’ve never seen their stuff on sale.

  5. Have you ever known a relationship to recover after any affair, but especially an emotional affair with someone else? How do you support a friend who’s going through it?

    1. I’ve never seen it be done. All the couples I know who have ‘successfully’ survived cheating are painfully awkward to be around. Personally I’d just be ready to help your friend escape when she eventually gets the self confidence to leave

    2. Mine did. But mainly because my husband never found out. It was year 2 of being married and I was in a really unhappy place. His behavior changed and so did mine and my commitment to being married. I’m now 18 years married. We’re best friends in addition to being spouses. No two relationships are the same. I would try not to be too judgmental. You really don’t know what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes. My views on life and relationships have shifted many times since I was younger.

    3. Yes – I have a very dear friend whose husband confessed to an emotion affair with a co-worker while he was working abroad on extended assignment. They came very, very close to divorce over it. They are still together two years later.

      Nobody knows what is going on in a marriage or whether forgiveness is possible or deserved better than the people involved. She vacillated quite a bit and I finally told her point blank that she needed to decide if she wanted to stay married. Because if she did I would support that decision and if she did not I would support that too but she deserved better than living in limbo. I think lack of judgment is key to support. It is easy to say “divorce the dirt bag” – but that is easier said than done when two people have a life built together for decades and the decision is theirs and not yours. (And honestly he is not a terrible person; he is a human being who made a mistake.)

    4. No. My beloved family member forgave and worked really hard to get past it, but then he left her for his next affair partner.

      Needless to say, I’m skeptical about whether you can really still have a great relationship with someone after they betray you in this way. I’m sure I would never feel sexy around my husband if I ever learned he’d gone to someone else for sex. Much less love.

    6. My husband had what I consider an emotional affair. It was brief (I found out quickly) and happened in the aftermath of his father’s death and during the height of the pandemic; he reconnected with a high school girlfriend. Our relationship is not the same as before but it has recovered to an extent I am comfortable with. We did some counseling and he agreed to all the boundaries I set, such as immediately cutting all contact, finding and arranging the counselor, etc.

      In terms of supporting a friend, I would just try to focus on listening and not giving a lot of advice, especially if she isn’t asking for it, and avoid vilifying the partner if there is any chance they will stay together. Its something that I wasn’t comfortable talking about with most friends as I didn’t want it to impact how my friends saw him and was also afraid of what they would think of me for staying with him. So realize that your friend probably trusts you quite a lot to talk to you about this.

      1. PS – I’m not sure if your friend is married or not; I do think that changes things. My husband and I had been together 13 years when this happened, and married for 10 and had a child together. That’s a lot of history to throw away. My reaction would have been differnt if we had just been dating for 3 months or something.

        1. You don’t throw away history. You start each day with a new chapter. After an affair you have a new marriage, but it’s not the old one, and you decide every day to continue (or not.)

    7. What is an emotional affair? I know the gist, generally–an affair without the physical–but how close do they have to be for it to be an affair? What defines it as an affair over, say for example, a work bestie the spouse is uncomfortable with?

      1. Some emotional affairs are obvious – if you’re discussing physical attraction or romantic feelings, for example. Others are more of a gray area but generally I think secrecy is a good barometer. If you’re hiding the existence of the person or the substance of what you talk about from your spouse, there’s a good chance you’re getting into emotional affair territory.

        1. This – One of my best friends is a married man I used to work with. When one of my other friends questioned me about it, I said we had never had a conversation that we could not have in front of his wife and my mother. It would just bore both of them silly because we share a particular niche interest. The only “secret” conversation we have ever had was about one of her birthday gifts.

          And I know and like his wife and have been a guest in their home multiple times at her invitation. I am not a threat to their marriage and she knows it.

      2. I think some of it is telling a person things you can’t tell or won’t tell a spouse.

        I mean, I can unload on my spouse about my office frustrations, but I would have to keep stopping to fill him in on who is who and what their relationships at the office are like. It’s easier to tell my work bestie that stuff, he’s already heard or seen the drama.

        But, if I start telling my male work bestie intimate things that I don’t feel I can tell my spouse, there is a line crossed.

      3. To me it’s when they do/say things they wouldn’t in front of the partner and/or share things (affection, attention, sexual energy) that rightly belongs with the partner. It’s basically taking the focus off the partner and putting it on an outside party.

  6. What would you wear to a Kamala Harris rally if you didn’t have any campaign gear and didn’t have any blue tops? I do know to wear comfortable footwear.

      1. I mean that’s cute but the rally has to be in the next… 3 days, no?

        I like Nesprin’s suggestion for using what you have.

    3. Do you have any campaign buttons or stickers? Add them to any top you like, especially if you have a top that shows support of a parallel topic, and you are good to go.

    4. We made our own t-shirts with puff paint on cheap white t-shirts for a rally earlier this week.

    5. I last saw her speak well before she was a presidential candidate, and I dressed for the weather, in what would pass for business casual (as opposed to slogan t-shirts or costume-y type attire that a lot of people had). Keep what you’re carrying with you to a minimum. I only really carry a small bifold wallet and phone anyway, so it was no biggie, but the less you have, the less there is to search.

    6. Do you have anything that reflects your state or interests (rainbow for LGBTQ)? A scarf or pashmina with relevant full or accent color/s? Are any of your groups giving out swag, buttons?

      Layers are your best strategy – it will be cold if you arrive early and warmer as people congregate and the energy flows.

    7. Layers – especially if you are arriving ahead of the bulk of attendees. Scarf/pashmina can be an accent color – not just blue, but if you have a cause with an affiliated color (rainbow for gay pride is one example, state flag colors are another) that might be an option for you-do-you.

    9. OP here – I’m at the rally now…wearing suffragette white and a Kamala Harris sticker from her store. AND…this rally turned into a first date with a Hinge match! He is on his way and I saved him a seat! Wish me luck :)

  7. what is the most comfortable work shoe i can buy for as little money as possible? i’m on a really tight budget
    business casual office but no tennis shoes which is all I really have

    1. Go to your local Shoe Station, Famous Footwear or Designer Shoe Warehouse and look for something you like, or at least can tolerate on sale/clearance by Vionic, Clark’s, Dansko, Alegria, Merrell or Keen (a few other brands, too, but that’s what comes to mind immediately).
      If you’re ok with used (I am, but some aren’t), I can almost always find a serviceable pair of Dansko clogs at Goodwill. Not stylish, but will get you through till finances improve.

    2. I have two pairs of work shoes from Target that are more comfortable than several pairs from high end brands (admittedly I spend most of my day at a desk, so I’m just wearing these to/from the parking lot and between meetings). These are the ones that I have, but I think any that are listed as having their memory foam insole will be fairly comfortable as long as they fit your foot shape well:
      https://www.target.com/p/women-39-s-maxine-slingback-ballet-flats-a-new-day-8482/-/A-89368657?preselect=89254490#lnk=sametab
      https://www.target.com/p/women-s-sandy-mule-flats-with-memory-foam-insole-a-new-day/-/A-88021883?preselect=87930584#lnk=sametab
      A friend of mine used to also swear by Old Navy flats for work – it looks like they have a ton on sale for between $15–30 (these are really cute for $20 https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=854987032&cid=55147&pcid=55147&vid=1&cpos=125&cexp=2926&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D55147&ctype=Listing&cpid=res24110113287858352664792#pdp-page-content) and several full price pairs for around $30. I also see a lot of work appropriate shoes at my local consignment store that are similarly priced to the above and in good shape (maybe because so many people are remote now?)

    3. Any constraints? I was thrilled to find a Life Stride loafer on (the A river name) for $30 in a wide this week. I walk across a campus a couple times each week, so my shoes need to hold up beyond being stashed under my desk when I’m not commuting.

      Hush Puppies can be very comfortable.

    4. Agree with the other posters. Also think about style and color with amount of wear. For example, I have gotten a TON of use out of a pair of softwalk flats mainly because they work with dresses and pants. And the beige-gray color works with almost any color I’m wearing (as opposed to black, which won’t work with my navy outfits and some of my prints that don’t contain black). It’s been a real eye opener–they tend to get packed again and again when I go to conferences because they are the most versatile.

    5. Do you need a comfort brand or just something that won’t actively wreck your feet? In my experience, a mini wedge flat is much more comfortable than a real flat but comparably versatile. Payless had a great one but I don’t know what’s become of it now. I agree that Designer Shoe Warehouse is worth checking out. If you don’t need one of the comfort brands 4:52 listed, Anne Klein iflex may have something.

      On average it’s easier to find a really cheap but comfortable boot than a cheap but comfortable heel or flat, so consider boots if they would work with your wardrobe/the upcoming season.

    7. Look at Sketchers Cleo if you are okay with minimal arch support – they are kind of Rothys dupes. They have some other flat/loafer like shoes that are also pretty cheap and might work.

      1. Invest in decent arch support, especially if it’s shoes you’re wearing constantly. Penny wise pound foolish otherwise.

    8. My choice would be a Vionic shoe on eBay or similar – I like my Vionic Kensley loafer, literally wear it with everything. I see some on eBay right now for as little as $30. Great support and comfort, versatile. I got mine on eBay and have worn the dog out of them.

  8. When you visit the grave of a loved one, do you bring and leave flowers? A bouquet? Fake flowers? They look good in that moment but a week later, not so much. I’m not local and this is for my mom and her sister, both of whom died this year and it will be my first visit since the funerals over Thanksgiving, when florist shops are closed except those within grocery stores.

    1. The cemetery staff should pick up wilted flowers but maybe check with them if you’re unsure.

    2. Fresh flowers. Definitely not fake flowers – that’s terrible for the environment. Sorry for your loss.

    3. I’m so sorry for your loss.

      I normally bring with me and plant regionally and seasonally appropriate flowers, in autumn things like Heath/Erica and Begonias, and that is normal at the graveyard I travel to (not US). I also see lanterns and wreaths.

    4. I’m sorry for your loss. I often bring fresh flowers from my garden, but since you’re traveling you can’t do that. The cheapest grocery store flowers will be fine. Take the plastic wrapping with you.

      My loved one is buried in a lawn style cemetery so they will run over flowers with the mower sometimes, though they don’t mean to.

      When I first buried my loved one, I left her a bouquet of white roses. When I came back the next day, it was all stems and the rose blossoms were gone. I was upset and thought “who would do that to someone else’s grave?” I had to talk to cemetery staff that day anyway so I mentioned it and they said the deer love to eat the roses. Then I thought how my loved one would have loved the deer eating her flowers and felt better about it.

  9. Help me shop vicariously?

    I was at a conference this past week and a woman was wearing a navy suit with red polka dots. She looked amazing! I had given up on suits in the past few years, but I’m planning on a cool suit as my big 2025 purchase and am leaning towards a print. Any suggestions?

  10. I need some work advice. Either my boss appears to be truly terrible at basic budgeting, or I am completely missing something. I currently have two functions rolling up to me: an hourly technical function, and an admin function that supports the technical side. The ratio is 1 admin to 20 tech. The admin does a variety of things that generally audit hourly records produced by tech and present any discrepancies for resoltuion to tech managers or me. The admins are 100% busy. My boss wants to eliminate the admin function, create more tech managers and move the admin function onto them. He says this will improve accountability, which to me is a very vague value element – on paper, our performance is fantastic, some partners have compained in conversation but no KPI deviations have been documented. Tech managers get paid 2-3 times the admins. So we’re looking at doubling our costs to perform the same admin job, increasing the total ops run cost by a minimum of 3.5%. Our contracts with our clients are locked in at the current bill rate for several years, and after that in the past we’ve only been able to negotiate 5% increases which has NOT covered inflation and statutory wage increases. Boss and I been having this same conversation since June and I have attempted to explain this to him twenty different ways. He seems surprised by the math each time, and then says two things: one, he will present this as a need to management, they don’t get to dictate what we need to run our business; and two, this is an industry standard. I don’t have much to say about one because I don’t know the current grandboss but as for number two, this is absolutely untrue. I’ve been in this niche industry for nearly 20 years and I KNOW. I feel like he’s going to sink me and this whole operation. Do you have any advice for me?

    1. 1 — do you actually need to do anything about this at the current moment? This sounds like a fully theoretical discussion, or is he actively asking you to hire the additional tech managers now?
      2 — I don’t know your industry, but in mine “qualitative” complaints from customers would ABSOLUTELY be a problem, even if KPIs are technically being met. And when we have a qualitative complaint about a consultant, especially around lack of ownership, I expect the consultancy to take it seriously, not just say “well, we’re still meeting timeline so it doesn’t matter”

      3– Sometimes it does make sense to centralize project responsibility, even when it means a higher paid person does a little work that could technically be done by a lower paid person – it sounds like that’s what your manager is expecting. Again, I can’t say whether he’s right in this specific case, but it’s not intrinsically irrational – presumably he thinks it will make your company more efficient or more competitive in the long run, even if it means paying more tech managers
      4 — If you’re feeling like your own wellbeing is totally vulnerable to your employer making a bad decision and going out of business, figure out how to mitigate that : resume updated, and get a sense of the current market for your role, emergency savings topped up, etc. It’s easier to be objective about dumb stuff happening at work when it’s not going to be a personal disaster for you

      1. Thank you so much for thinking about this with me!
        1 – Yes, unfortunately. The thing that’s giving me high blood pressure is this is not budgeted but I’m being asked to create the reqs. The reqs cannot be approved because it’s not budgeted. I’m at a point that I’ll just go ahead and create them, they will be not-approved and he can just deal with it from there. But I hate attaching my name to an unapprovable req, it is very public and I feel like this hurts my reputation as I should (and do) definitely know better. (He’s newer to this division and from what I understand his last client fully reimbursed everything, which is not the model here which he theoretically knows). I’m also the person who has to sign off on the variance reporting and be grilled about every overtime hour.

        2 and 3. I have to relunctantly admit that you are right. I would be fully behind this idea (of course, it would be easier to manage the ops if I had more managers!) if I had some understanding and faith that upper management will approve this new budget add, which won’t be decided until April. Last-year they cut a CBA-required manager and I had to scrimp and scrape to make room for that non-optional role sacrificing my entire education budget, so my experience has been very negative. The boss just shrugged and said that’s not what we submitted and he’s only going to manage to the budget we submitted, not what someone approved in a vaccuum (it was his boss! a different one, but still his boss!). As far as I know, he hasn’t even brought this idea to his boss. Maybe I’m overthinking his job for him? Talk some sense into me please.
        4. You’re right, and I have, but no luck so far.

        1. maybe there’s something your boss isn’t telling you that has all of this make sense in his head but not yours. Like he wants to finagle a larger budget so that he could later “reorganize” and make room for something else.

  11. Is it too soon to start thinking about dressing for holiday parties?

    After our party last year I realized I need better party shoes and bags. I’ve made do in the past because it seemed silly to spend the $$$ on accessories you wear for just one or two occasions, but it’s a bummer to get all done up and then look down at your shoes and realize they don’t really go with your dress and will be killing your toes in 20 minutes.

    My company does a big party in December with a cocktail to formal dress code — it’s the fanciest, sparkliest event I go to all year, and has been amazing in the past to see what every one wears.

    1. Never too early! That’s what I did, last summer I believe. I find Naturalizer best for my wide forefoot (but also comfortable) so started trying their holiday sandals. I really liked the Vanessa but felt like I was falling out of it, so ended up with the Nieko. DSW always has a lot of sparkly shoes if you want to try in person.

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