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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 321 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread |

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Tibi Pleated silk dressSomething on your mind? Chat about it here. Lately, I am in love with the bright colors and fun prints of the brand Tibi. As spring approaches, I'm loving this sunshine yellow silk dress — with intriguing pleat details down the front — for a weekend cocktail party, brunch, shopping date, et cetera. I'd wear flat sandals and carry a big bag for a more casual vibe, and switch to a heel and a clutch for something more dressed up. Was $330, now $165 at The Outnet (where they have a number of Tibi pieces, all in lucky sizes only). Tibi Pleated silk dress (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Roly Poly Little Bat-Faced Girl

    We’re taking a family spring break trip to Houston and Galveston. What places and activities do you recommend? My kids are young, school-age boys, but we’re not planning on doing kid-centric stuff the whole week. How are things since the hurricane?

    We are also willing to drive a little for a worthwhile destination. Is Corpus Christi worth visiting?
    Thank you!

    • BK

      It depends on when you are going. Houston is awfully humid in the Summer, and people go to Galveston to get a fresh breeze. There is a lot of history in Galveston as well as Houston. If you go in the winter, it is nice in Houston, and there is a lot of underground stores, connected together so that you do not have to go outside. This is also good in the summer, because it is so hot and humid. The kids should learn all about Texas, and the Lone Star State, and Sam Houston if they go. If they are older, they can even go to the Houston Space Station where they have the Shuttle and old rocketships. There are not a lot of things in Houston that you can’t find in other major cities, but if you are coming from a small town, you can enjoy the stores too. Have fun!!!!!!!!

      • A. L.

        Second this. I’ve only been to Moody Gardens for a triathlon, but it seemed like there was a lot of activities for children. I remember an aquarium, IMAX, and outdoor water play areas, and there was probably more that I just didn’t see because I stayed at a cheaper hotel.

    • Anon in TX

      Houston’s great! I live here, and really love it.

      The weather right now is about 70-80 degrees and cooler at night. BEAUTIFUL.

      Houston Recommendations:
      Children’s Museum (one of the best in the country)
      Natural History Museum (fun fun place to go with or without kids)
      NASA (it’s on the way to Galveston, but fun stuff for kids and parents)
      Hermann Park (Houston has a lot of green space, since it’s so spread out, this park is just awesome)
      Houston Zoo (really quite nice, and lots of fun)
      Bayou City Art Festival (next weekend)
      Aquarium (so-so, not great)
      Rodeo (although it’s likely ending on Sunday, is a lot of fun with animals, carnival and all sorts of assorted fun)
      Kemah Boardwalk

      Galveston has been significantly rebuilt since Ike. Houston didn’t have that much damage comparably.

      Corpus is much smaller than Houston, and about a 5 hour drive away. I would advise against it. There is a lot in Houston to do, and Corpus doesn’t really compare.

      If you want to go to the beach, Galveston is OK, and close. Freeport may be a little further, but less crowded.

      Hope that helps!

    • ceb

      Howdy! (That was my “tongue-in-cheek” and yet enthusiastic “Welcome to Texas!”) Things are fine here in Houston since the hurricane a couple of years ago. No lasting effects.

      Ok, I live in Houston, so here are my suggestions for the kiddos:

      1) The Houston Museum of Natural Science is a major museum that attracts over 2 million visitors annually. It has a variety of attractions that include an IMAX, a great paleontology hall, and the Cockrell Butterfly Center, one of the premier entomology centers in the United States that is full of creepy-crawlers to amase your sons. The museum also attracts diverse and excellent travelling exhibits. I volunteer there on weekends, so I’m a little biased, but it is one of my favorite places. The Hubble IMAX movie is awesome.

      2) The Children’s Museum of Houston is a VERY popular destination for my friends with young children. They tend to go there again and again, so there must be something fun going on there.

      3) The Houston Zoo is very kid friendly, and its location in the lovely Hermann Park is within a 10 minute walk from the previous two locations. Plus, a baby giraffe was born last week and who doesn’t love baby animals!

      4) If you are heading down this weekend, the Houston Rodeo is a major, MAJOR, event here in Houston (you know it is big when there are over 24,000 volunteers!). This year’s entertainers (depending on the night you attend) range from Lady Antebellum to Janet Jackson to Kiss. It attracts a diverse crowd and has plenty of fun things for the family. The mutton busting (6 year olds riding sheep) is a particular favorite event of mine. However, there are only a few days left of the Houston Rodeo before it is over for the year, and it will be another year before you can embrace your inner cowgirl.

      5) NASA (of “Houston, we have a problem” fame) is located between Houston and Galveston and Space Center Houston has tons of spring break events for kids going on right now.

      Restaurants that I would suggest for the kids are as follows:

      1) Lupe Tortilla: Fantastic Tex-Mex and Fajitas in a family-friendly atmosphere. So, so yummy. A “must visit” for the family.

      2) Good Company BBQ: Ok, so there are many who would argue that there are better BBQ joints in town (I am not one of them), but this is the grand-daddy of Houston BBQ, and it is kid friendly. Try a slice of their famous pecan pie for dessert.

      3) Just Mac: A restaurant with nothing but a million variations of mac-n-cheese on the menu. What kid wouldn’t love that?!?!

      3) Onion Creek/Cedar Creek (during the day or early evening): These places have lovely patios where you can enjoy the nice weather (currently sunny and in the 70’s) while enjoying a burger, wrap, salad, and perhaps a beer/glass of wine. At night it is less kid-friendly, but during the day there are plenty of families around. Runner up in the same category: Petrol Station.

      The Non-Kid-Centric Stuff:

      1) The Museum of Fine Arts – Houston: The National Gallery of Art has temporarily loaned a significant collection of impressionist and post-impressionist pieces to the MFA-H while the Hational Gallery does some renovations. Washington D.C.’s (temporary) loss is Houston’s gain. Great show . . . You should go see it.

      2) 13 Celsius: One of my favorite wine bars. Ever. Seriously, these people know their stuff when it comes to wine. On Tuesdays, they do cupcake pairings where you get to try a glass of wine and a unique cupcake (such as ginger pear or sugar cookie) for $10. A steal.

      3) Serious Tex-Mex & Margaritas: Try the Original Ninfa’s on Navigation Street (killer margaritas and the best tortillas in town) or El Tiempo (fajita’s that are filet mignon-tender).

      4) Other restaurant’s to try: Benjy’s (my favorite restaurant in town) or Rainbow Lodge (Fantastic brunch (kids are often there, too) and a lovely, lovely setting). I could recommend a million other places, so let me know if you want more recommendations.

      5) Surprisingly, Houston is known for its fine arts scene. The ballet and the Alley Theatre are both particularly well-known, and either would be worth your time.

      I haven’t been to Galveston in a loooong time, but I hear Kemah is a fun (yet touristy) trip. Galveston has been slower to recover from the hurricane than Houston. I think the beach in Corpus Christi is supposed to be nicer than Galveston’s, but I’m not sure it is worth the drive as there is nothing else to do there that I am aware of. I think you would be better off driving to San Antonio or Austin for the day if you wanted to leave the Houston-Galveston area.

      Welcome to Texas!

      • Roly Poly Little Bat-Faced Girl

        Thank you, everyone! Your responses are very helpful and appreciated. I forgot to ask about the food, so I’m happy to see some recommendations on that too. I feel like I’m already experiencing some Texas hospitality!

        • ceb

          No problem! Let us know if you want more food/drink recommendations.

          p.s. – that should have been “amaze” rather than “amase.”

    • toodles

      I’d only recommend going to Corpus only if you wanted to go to a nicer beach. Galveston is fun, but the water is brown and you can’t see your feet. I loved it anyway when I was a kid. You didn’t mention where you were coming from, but I’d recommend taking a day trip to Austin. There are caves and nice lakes, and it’ll be bluebonnet season soon. The city has a lot of personality and unique stores and restaurants, and a great music scene.

      • toodles

        I also wanted to add in Brenham Texas, which is close to Houston, has a Blue Bell ice cream factory that gives tours. I’ve never done it, but it sounds cool.

        • TKA

          I lived in Houston from age 7 to 14 or so and my caveat is: this stuff was cool back then! The Blue Bell factory is fun. Also, if you are interested in historical/military stuff, the San Jacinto Monument and the Battleship Texas might be fun. (They are right next to each other.) In Galveston, the Galveston Railroad Museum is neat (you can check out old passenger trains and engines, climb up in the top of a caboose, etc.) If you are headed out toward San Antonio or Austin, Schlitterbahn (in New Braunfels) is a fun water park and Fiesta Texas is a good Six Flags (in San Antonio). Also, if you go to San Antonio, you can’t miss the Alamo!

          • ADB_BWG

            And Washington on the Brazos. Great to get outdoors and burn off some energy, plus history.

    • G

      I agree with the advice everyone’s given so far.

      Honestly, my favorite beach in that area is Surfside Beach, a bit to the west of Galveston Island. It’s nothing special, but it tends to be a lot less crowded. Beware if you go that there’s not a lot of tourist infrastructure- just one or two restaurants, maybe an ice cream place, and a well-stocked BucEEs.

      Houston is also a good destination. The science museum is always popular with kids; depending on ages, there’s a childrens’ museum close by as well. I love the MFAH, but it may not be interesting to the kids. Houston has a surprising number of good parks- Discovery Green downtown is my favorite. It has a cool playground, and a little lake where you can rent remote-control boats; they also have tons of events, so check the schedule: http://www.discoverygreen.com/discovery-green-spring-2011-events/

      As for food: Goode Co. Taqueria has great fajitas; Luling City Market is my favorite for BBQ; Kasra is a bit of a trek but has amazing Persian food; Barnaby’s or Baby Barnaby’s for brunch.

      • G

        Just noticed someone mentioned Onion Creek/Cedar Creek. Really, seriously recommend those, too. Completely forgot about them, but they have a really nice, laid-back Austin vibe, and great patios. Their cheesy bacon waffles are amazing, too.

  2. Midori

    And tights. I would wear it with tights. Or jeans, more likely. Ok, I wouldn’t wear it at all. It looks too short for me. :-( What a happy color, though!

  3. Ashley

    I’m debating between 2 sizes for some Anne Klein heels. Does anyone have some thoughts on how much they stretch? The 7.5 is a touch tight, but the 8 is a touch big. I’m worried that if the 8 stretches at all, I’ll be slipping out of them. But, if the 7.5 doesn’t stretch enough, my poor toes will be crunched by the end of the day!

    • eb

      Try the 8 with an insole? I do this when a brand’s 6es are a bit too loose but 5.5s are a teeny bit small or unavailable. No experience with AK sizing, though – sorry!

      • SF Bay Associate

        Agreed – 8 with an insole, or a heel pad and ball of foot pad. It will probably feel better to you than a 7.5 even if it stretches out a tiny bit.

        • Ashley

          Insoles are a good thought, maybe I’ll do that option… then again, there’s some other really cute heels that fit without insoles…. SUCH a conundrum! :)

  5. Hopeful

    When do you ladies followup after an interview?

    I had a few interviews almost 2 weeks ago, several of which seemed to go really well. All told me that they would be in touch, but I haven’t heard from any of them. Would you follow up at all?

    Would your opinion change if you’d had a second interview and then heard nothing?

    Thanks!

    • K

      I would definitely follow up and say you enjoyed speaking with them at your interview and were just calling to follow up.

    • Laura #2

      I think you can follow up (assuming you have already sent thank yous) after 2 weeks, although I don’t think waiting another week would be viewed negatively. I don’t know that first vs. second interview makes much of a difference.

      Having said that, I am terribly impatient and hate waiting to hear back–I’d rather know, even if it isn’t good news. Also, I know it’s too late for this now, but going forward you might consider asking about hiring time frame so you have a general sense of when they plan to be in touch. This helps me be slightly less obsessive about checking my phone :)

      Good luck!

    • Anon

      I’m in the same boat and planning to follow up at the two week date from last contact. I was told they would likely make a decision “next week” but still haven’t heard either way. While no news is technically not bad news, I’d rather know at this point… and still hopeful.

  6. K

    Can I get some good wishes from my fellow Corporettes? Waiting to hear back about two jobs which would allow me to leave the job I hate soon. I would kill to give notice within the next two weeks.

    Crossing my fingers for anyone else who is in a similar situation!

    • Alias Terry

      I fully intent to rock white (well it will probably be stone as close to white as gray, beige or taupe can get, but close enough), this summer. Maybe not both the top and bottom at once but definitely a “white” suit of some kind.

      No experience with Theory; I read too many posts that suggest I am not going to fit their cut.

    • recently preggers

      Love the suit and love the look. I’d only wear the whole suit in the middle of the summer (July/August), but I’d wear the pieces as separates April/May through Sept.

    • Bridget

      Love the white suit. I love the white look and think it’s fabulous. My only hesitation is to make sure the pants are not see-through at all. I have seen a few women in white suits who look fab from afar and then as they draw closer, I can see the lining for their pocket, VPL, etc.

    • Bonnie

      Yay. I have one coming in the mail now. I like the look of a white suit but am not loving these cropped pants.

      • anon

        agreed! The white capris look a little too casual and I’m generally not a fan of capri or short suit bottoms for most workplaces.

    • 2L NYC

      Just FYI with theory white suit — just saw a lovely theory blazer in many sizes at a Marshalls for $100, so given that white is not as popular, might be worth searching.

    • Michelle

      conceptually love the white suit (and love this Theory jacket!) but find I feel like I am wearing flashing neon when I try. Second the idea of wearing it as separates, and wish I felt I could get away with the whole suit!

    • CaliforniaLawyer

      If it can make that skinny model look like she has a big butt, there is NO WAY it’s going to be flattering on me . . .

      • Anonymous

        There is another pair of pants — the “Abiela” pants — that I think are far more appropriate/flattering than the ones shown in this picture. Not sure which ones the OP is looking at. I love a white suit, but like others, struggle to think of the work occasion where I would feel comfortable wearing the full suit. Wish I could rock one, though. I couldn’t make it out the door without a dog ruining it.

  8. Alias Terry

    While I do have mad love for this color, this is too much of a good thing. You could end up looking like a walking safety sign.

    I love this color as an accent with neutrals, my current obsession is with black and white.

  10. LawyrChk

    Love this dress. So sad that the featured dress already sold out (all sizes).

    FYI, outnet requires a signature on delivery (problematic if you, say, work during the day time. I’m trying to work through a delivery snafu with them right now. I will say that their customer service department is excellent.

    • JJ

      Can you have it delivered to your office? I’m in a few wine clubs that require signatures on delivery and I have them delivered to my office so that someone will always be able to sign for them.

      Do my coworkers think I’m a wino? Probably. But it’s worth it.

      • LawyrChk

        That was the end result of the shipping snafu–to the office it goes. Just waiting for delivery at this point.

      • anon

        Check your company’s policy before you do that. Many companies don’t allow delivery of personal items to the office.

    • KW

      Won’t some delivery services (Fed Ex, maybe?) leave a sticky note on your door if you’re not home that allows you to sign the back of it and leave it stuck to the door? Then they will return the following day, pick up the note, and leave the package? Or maybe I’m crazy… It will take an extra day to get your package but worth it to avoid the hassle of day time deliveries.

      • Anon

        Outnet will not allow this. They require an actual signature, in person. However, what you can do is the day you get the first notice, you can call UPS and have them hold the package. Then you just have to go to the UPS facility and pick up the package.

        Or, deliver it to your office if its allowed.

  11. Emma

    Has anyone tried this styling service? http://www.togandporter.com/

    I love the idea of getting clothes picked just for me, in my size, sent to my door. I’m just worried about the cost commitment, and unfortunately there aren’t many details on the website.

  12. Cora

    Any advice for motivating yourself to apply for a job you are almost 99% sure you will not get?

    • Lola

      There’s no harm in applying! And better practice for next time. (IMO, it’s best to manage your expectation for the worst result. Then if you get it, you’ll be super happy.)

    • Laura #2

      “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Thank you, cheesy high school classroom posters.

      In all seriousness, though, the more applications you do, the easier they get. So, unless this is a super-specific opportunity, there should be pieces of this application that help you out on further applications. Think of it as investing in the job hunt in general. Good luck!

    • Bonnie

      I’d like to add though please don’t apply for jobs that you’re not qualified for just to get interview experience. I once interviewed a girl during OCI who told me that she applied for the job because “why not? figured it was worth the interview experience.” If you are qualified, then go for it. You never know what’s going to happen.

      • Cora

        Qualified for it, and really want it, just know that other applicants have much more experience. But totally true about the fact that its 100% impossible for me to get the job if I never apply! thanks everyone

    • EC

      Totally do it! I’ve seen companies (and governments) get an application from someone who doesn’t fit the listed job, but fits another opening or a job is suddenly created for that person. You never know what might happen!

      • Y

        I got my lovely in-house job by applying on a whim and being pretty sure – up to the day that I got offered the job – that there was no way I could get it. It takes some of the stress off in the interview, I think that actually really helped me! LOL. So go for it. Oh, and the person that I just edged out to get it got the next open position 1 year later, so happy ending all around.

        • Anonymous

          I applied for a job even though I did not have the qualifications and got it. It does happen.

  13. Va

    There’s a plain but classic and elegant medium black leather bag by Kate Spade I’ve been eyeing. It’s on major sale. I was wondering what fellow Corporettes thought. I know there was some previous discussion about Kate Spade being tacky or not “real” designer brand bags. But I don’t care about labels, can’t spend 1000 on a bag, and just want an elegant, simple, conservative black work purse. This purse seems to fit the bill for $99 (normally $300 plus). Should I go for it?

    • skippy pea

      Ofcourse! Get what you like without doubt. Imagine if we start weighing even our smallest purchases based on what others might say! The two bags I got the most compliments on were Guess logo bag from few years ago and which I still use and a lovely Ann Taylor bag that my mom snagged from me.

    • WB

      I bought a black Kate Spade Quinn a few months ago for $100. I love how classic the style is, and it is very well made. I don’t regret it one bit. If you love the style and can afford it, go for it! Different people have different tastes, so you should use a handbag that you enjoy, even if others have different opinions.

    • Emma

      I have an orange Kate Spade bag that I love and get compliments on whenever I wear it. There’s nothing wrong with Kate Spade!

    • Lucy

      I find Kate Spade bags to be well-made and well-designed. I’m not a bag person, but a small black Kate Spade purse is my go-to standard and takes me everywhere from cocktail fundraising dinners to church.

      I say get it, if you like it.

    • kz

      of course! I get compliments on my plain black Kate Spade, so I don’t think they’re tacky. It’s just a good purse for work.

  14. Sutemi

    Are there any corporettes out there that have chosen not to dye their gray hair? What is your opinion on professionals with salt and pepper or gray hair? It seems that very few women choose not to dye their hair but my hair didn’t tend to accept dyes or perms when I was younger.

    I’m mid-thirties and routinely told that I look much younger, partly due to being short with a round face, partly to a healthy lifestyle and good genes. Right now I have dark brunette hair in a pixie-style cut – I give my hair stylist free reign to do what he wants.

    In the past couple years I’ve started getting a few stray gray hairs. I plucked them out when they were less than a dozen but that won’t work when I get more. The hairs appear to be coming in a nice silver-white and I’m contemplating not dying my hair but leaving it natural. Any thoughts on how to do this successfully?

    • Lola

      I think you’re doing great. If people think you look young, a little gray hair doesn’t seem like it would hurt. As long as the rest of your wardrobe and demeanor screams confident, capable, and chic, then I personally think gray hair on a woman is fine. (Think Glenn Close in Damages, or Devil Wears Prada.)

    • Marie

      The women I’ve seen really rock the grey tend to have kind of ‘edgy’ cuts, or at least really good cuts with definite style…i.e., not just long and hanging there. Go for it!

    • Res Ipsa

      Look at Stacy London–she looks fabulous rocking the gray streak. I seem to remember a heated discussion a while back about a recommendation that someone with “mousy” hair should dye their hair, but I’m all in favor of not dying it.

      I am your age and have significantly more than a dozen gray hairs–mostly with a streak in the front and around my temples.

      I think it can give you some ‘street cred’ if you’re still trying to establish your authority with clients, colleagues, opposing counsel,etc. And I’ve gotten some compliments from a few women (incl. my hair stylist) that they like that I am not dyeing my hair. Like Lola said, the key is to keep your hair style sharp and up-to-date. Which reminds me, i am overdue for a trim….:)

    • lawyerette

      I’m 32 with very dark brunette hair (almost black indoors) and I’m letting my gray stay. I like the look and I don’t even have a particularly edgy cut (grown out shoulder-length layers at the moment) and I think that’s fine too. I’m a junior associate at a big firm. I don’t think I look less polished. It might help that my hair is very dark and my gray is very silver and the contrast is cool (IMO anyway).

    • Annie

      I think women who embrace their grey look so confident if it is styled (and not schlumpy).

    • Janie

      I had a professor who was in her mid thirties and had salt and pepper hair. It looked amazing and very sleep and polished.

    • North Shore

      Just asking my stylist about this last week. I have light brown hair, and notice the grays in hotel bathrooms, which have more light than my bathroom. In my own bathroom, I look much better. Anyway, she said when I start getting more, to start with a semi-permanent wash. Anyone tried that?

      • spacegeek

        I used to do the semipermanent color, which gave my hair great gloss. Works well to ease you into colored hair.

      • Bonnie

        Got one today. Apart from covering the greys I think jet makes my hair look healthier.

    • EPLawyer

      I don’t dye my hair. I used to but since I still look like I am in my 20s (actually mid-forties), I got treated like a kid. The older male attorneys would figuratively pat me on the head when I tried to argue with them. I stopped dying my hair and the condescension stopped.

    • Sarra

      I see plenty of women with undyed gray hair. I think it many of them pull it off well. It tends to look, to my eye, more professional when their hair is straight and/or short. (Which saddens me because my hair is curly and I hate straightening it, but I hate the idea of dying it even more.)

  15. Timid

    Threadjack! I am taking a job with a small law firm in a few months, and while they have offered me what I feel is a fair salary, I’d sort of like to ask for some assistance with paying for Bar Bri. Is that totally out of line for a small firm? I don’t want to come across as demanding or prissy, but I don’t want to miss out on any possible reimbursement since it’s so expensive! Does anyone have any insight or experience?

    • AnonInfinity

      I would 100% ask. The worst they can do is say no. It’s common for firms to pay for BarBri (and the registration fee for the bar exam, if they haven’t offered that), so it is not out of line at all for you to ask if they are paying that expense. I would not say, “My friend at blah blah firm is getting reimbursed for BarBri, so will you do that too?” Instead, just ask.

      My firm did offer to pay for a review course but did not explicitly say they were going to pay for the exam fee. It took forever to screw up the courage, but one day I just sent an email to the hiring partner that said something very simple like, “Does the firm pay my registration fee for the bar?” He just said yes and it was not a big deal. I will say as a counterpoint that I asked for a few things during salary negotiation that I did not receive, and no one seems to have judged me harshly for it at all.

      • stc

        definitely ask! My small first did my bar exam fee, bar bri, and moving expenses. They told me they would cover the first two things and it took all my courage to ask about moving expenses-to which they said yes.

  16. Lola

    I just need to share some good news:

    Yesterday I complimented a fresh bouquet of spring flowers on a co-workers desk. I didn’t know that she was going on vacation starting today – and she left the bouquet of flowers on my desk when she left! They smell wonderful and are brightening my day. :)

  17. Wanna be Yogi

    A lot of my friends swear by yoga and enjoy it, and my doctor recently recommended that I give it a shot for some back issues. The problem is, I can’t get into it – first it’s boring, then I get impatient, then, next thing I know, the instructor is telling me to do something with my body that just isn’t the way my joints go.

    Any tips on getting started with yoga?

    • Bee Girl

      Hear ya, been there. Just stick with it. It’s incredibly frustrating at first, but then you learn to quiet your mind, set small goals (hold triangle pose for the full five breaths!), and slowly but surely you become more bendy. I started out that way, and two years later, I’m 45 pounds lighter and much more at peace during my work day. Stress takes much less of a toll and I’m generally happier. Now I relish every chance I get to go to yoga, which most importantly is a **Blackberry free zone!!!**

      • houda

        People at my gym still bring their phones to classes and they have loud obnoxious techno ringtones :(

    • Bonnie

      Try a different class. If you’re bored, perhaps try flow yoga which involves more moving around. The instructor should be challenging you but not to the point that you could get hurt. You’ll be surprised how quickly you build strength and flexibility through yoga. Namaste.

    • Res Ipsa

      The key is to find an instructor and style that you like. There are a gazillion different styles of yoga and teaching; not all of them are going to be up your alley. You could start with a yoga fundamentals class that will be very basic and give you the working knowledge you’ll need to graduate to something different.

      Any instructor worth their salt should give you modifications if you’re not able to go into a certain pose; don’t be afraid to raise your hand (or ask after class) for them.

      As an aside, I recently listened to a podcast interview Krista Tippett did with Seane Corne, who is one of the most renowned yoga instructors in the country. It was fascinating to hear how she came to yoga and how it helped her with her OCD. Definitely worth a listen if you’re interested at all in yoga and/or spirituality.

        • Anon

          In itunes, search for “on being” in the itunes store, and you should find the podcast. Subscribe to the podcast for free, and then you should see the full interview with Seane Corn in your podcast list.

      • Marie

        Second this. I love yoga, have been attending classes for years. BUT, there are many, many times I’ve tried a new class (especially a new class at a gym), and the instructor was so bad that I either wanted to walk out or actually did so. It’s all in the instructor. Many are great, many others are horrible (particularly likely to find not-so-good ones in yoga classes at general gyms, in my experience, i.e., the step teacher is now teaching yoga, but probably shouldn’t be). I would suggest shelling out for some sessions at a yoga center, to try out different styles of yoga/teachers and find something you like. Then, once you know what you are doing (i.e., how to position your body in poses so you do not hurt yourself) and you know what you do and do not like, try some cheaper gym classes.

    • anon

      I can relate. I tried yoga at least 3 times and just couldn’t get into it. Then I tried pilates (on the reformer, not matt classes), and I love it. Though they are different types of exercise, there are similarities (increased flexibility, very low impact). One of my instructors once described it as “yoga without the bullsh**,” which I thought was very apt.

    • UKYogi

      As others have suggested – try out different Yoga teachers and different styles. Give it a few sessions. New students often find the quietness of a Yoga practice disconcerting at first but then relax into it.
      You will also need to find a class teaches asanas (postures) at the level that is comfortable for you.
      A good teacher will have a well thought out warm up and lesson plan that means that you should be able to get at least part way into the asanas they teach.
      You can also expect to learn effective breathing, meditation and relaxation techniques at a traditional yoga class.
      This article has a good overview of different styles http://www.yogajournal.com/basics/165
      Happy to answer any questions you have.

    • Laura #2

      As others have said, different instructors teach at different paces–I have been to some yoga classes that felt like pretty gentle stretching, while others have left me out of breath and exhausted by the end of class. Make sure you’re going to a class that is challenging you.

      You mentioned that you have back issues. Do your instructors know about that? I think good instructors will ask about any injuries at the beginning of class so they can suggest modifications accordingly. And, as others have said, your instructor should be suggesting modifications. I can’t touch my toes, so I there are definitely times when modifications are necessary :) It sounds cliche, but you really do need to listen to your body, especially if you’re not terribly flexible.

    • Eponine

      Echoing what others have said, try different styles of yoga. What exactly is it that you don’t like about it? What causes you to get bored? What would you like to do more in yoga classes? What would you like less of? Give a broader description, and I can recommend specific styles of yoga you might try.

    • mille

      Would swimming work for your back? I was also bored with Yoga, and never was able to make my mind shut off long enough to relax and go with the flow. I wanted it to be over, fast. Swimming is something that absolutely relaxes me, so I do that instead.

    • Jr. Prof

      I think the key for those of us with “monkey mind” is to start out with a flow, vinyasa, or ashtanga class. These styles all emphasize flow – linking postures, and linking the breath with the movements. If the class is physically challenging enough, your mind won’t wander and instead you’ll focus on the breath to stay in the pose. These types of classes also make you feel like you’re getting a workout, rather than lying around meditating – which can be hard for those of us with jumpy minds.

      The problem for many beginners is starting with a beginning “hatha” class that is too slow and static to hold the attention. It’s only after 10 years of practice that I can -sometimes- concentrate in a hatha class. Although these classes are often billed as beginner classes — slow & easy, learn proper alignment! — my experience is that they are more difficult because the slow pacing allows the mind to wander.

      Like others say, it’s all in the teacher. I been disappointed by many teachers, but then found one whose style (vigorous vinyasa) suited me, and I’ve followed her from studio to studio. A good teacher will tell you to listen to the wisdom of the body, and will not try to force you into positions that are painful. That said, to get the greatest benefit, you do need to go to your ‘edge’ where you feel an intense sensation of stretching and heat. It might feel painful or strong at first — as one of my teachers used to say, “you might feel some sensation” — but the trick is to breath and relax into the sensation, rather than backing away.

      I just completed a 40 day yoga challenge (today!) that left me feeling years younger and waaaay healthier. There were a number of beginners in the Challenge – they wanted to get fully immersed as they began yoga, so that might be another good way to start. Good luck!

  18. j

    This dress would probably be indecently short on me, but I don’t really care. It’s gorgeous! I have red hair and love wearing bright colors with it.

    • IL

      I think that is so flattering on redheads. Bright colors really make porcelain skin and red hair pop.

  19. Gigi

    Hi! I just recently came across this site and it’s helped me SO much to save money, in the sense that I was going to waste money on things I thought where “professional” looking when they really are not. Or maybe not appropriate.

    Question: What do you think of H&M for office wear?
    I’m a soon graduating student. Will be interning in a week at a big accounting firm. So I don’t have a huge amount of money to spend on designer wear.
    I have a few pieces already in my wardrobe but am looking to add more shirts. I find H&M button down shirts to be really well fitted (specially for the price) and they have a tailored look, in my humble opinion.
    I’ve seen some articles here where people voiced about certain stores/brands not being a good choice due to the quality.

    • Anonymous

      Congrats on graduating!

      Sadly, I have no love for H&M button downs. The fabric looks cheap and moves badly. You really can do better, H&M isn’t that cheap.

    • Monday

      When I was just starting out I tried to go the H & M workwear route, and I regretted it. They do make some things that look ok for the office, but after a few washes (let alone dozens) everything I owned started looking shabby or just fell apart. I also realized too late that some of the fabrics were sheer.

      It’s more work, but I’d say focus on the sale sections of more expensive retailers. Quality everywhere is disappointing, but you’ll get more for your money.

      • Gigi

        Thanks for the tips guys! I’ll be sure to look out for sales. Do you have any recommendations of expensive retailers who have good quality? I’m guessing Anne Taylor? If you have any other favorites, please do share. :)

        • TCFKAG

          Everyone on this website has different takes on quality, but I don’t think you can go terribly wrong with Nordstrom’s (frequently on sale), Brooks Brothers (again, watch sales, oh…and they have great button downs), Ann Taylor, or Talbots. For some “younger” pieces, I’d check out J. Crew or Boden (which I found out about on this site).

          My big mistake in my first “professional” job was I always favored cheapness/quantity over quality. I think its a very, very good policy to buy less things of better quality. No one really cares if you repeat items, as long as you look put together!

          • houda

            This! it took me months to realize that it is OK to repeat outfits as long as you look polished.

        • WB

          I love Ann Taylor’s sales! I’ve purchased multiple pairs of shoes from them for less than $50, silk blouses for less than $40, suit pieces for under $60, etc. Scour the sales racks frequently, and you can find some great pieces!

          Banana Republic is also having its give & get sale- 30% off your entire purchase. I have absolutely no luck with their blouses because I am an hourglass, so every shirt there hangs like I’m wearing a tent.

          Check out TJ Maxx. I’m a big fan of August Silk cardigans, which you can find for $20. It is also a great place to shop for shoes!

          If you live in a bigger city, you’ll have a lot of other options to choose from. You might also want to check out shopittome.com. You give them your sizes, brands you like, and price points, and it will email you with clothing that is on sale that fits those qualifications.

        • a lawyer

          For button down shirts, you cannot beat Lands End for quality and price, ifyou shop the clearance and sales. I have a couple of beautiful shirts from there that I get complimented on every time I wear them. I think I paid about $20 each on sale. For petites, they have a large variety as well.

        • a lawyer

          For button down shirts, you cannot beat Lands End for quality and price, ifyou shop the clearance and sales. I have a couple of beautiful shirts from there that I get complimented on every time I wear them. I think I paid about $20 each on sale. For petites, they have a large variety as well.

          • Anonymous

            Agreed – they’re the only shirts I found that stand up to frequent wear, and the non-iron ones are amazing!

        • Sarra

          I would advise you to sign up for one of those sale-notice mailing lists, like shopittome. You tell them the brands and styles you like, and your price limits or what % off you want to know about, and then every day/week/month/whatever you choose, it lets you know what’s on sale that you may be interested in. I’ve found pretty decently priced nice stuff through shopittome, which was first recommended by Kat, I think.

    • SCS

      If you live anywhere near a consignment store that sells nice clothing, try buying some shirts there. They will be higher quality for the price you’re paying–make sure to check the collar and armpits before buying (someone else’s yellow shirt is even worse than your own).

      Hope you have a great internship.

      • Laura #2

        Totally agree with this. I’ve found some great pieces at consignment shops. Consignment shops can take a little more time and effort, but it can be worth it, especially if you’re on a limited budget. Make sure you look at the pieces carefully, though. Be sure there is no pilling, fading, fraying, etc. Most consignment stores look things over fairly well, but you want to be sure these pieces look new.

    • Amy H.

      For tailored button-front shirts, I ***love*** L.L. Bean — even though it’s pretty much at the other end of the spectrum from designer clothing.

      Great quality (I have some button-fronts that have lasted 7 years now) and they’re much less than Brooks Brothers and Thomas Pink (and slightly less than Ann Taylor/BR), for similar styling. These are the ones I have:
      http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/38246?feat=35070-ppxs&dds=y

      They have the same fabric in a long-sleeve version if you don’t like 3/4 sleeves.

    • Cora

      H&M I think is really poor quality button downs. I have tried them on a few times because I want them to work, but just too low and too see through.

      Here’s some from lands end on super sale:
      http://www.landsend.com/pp/RegularLongSleeveBasicPoplinShirt~216693_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::BLA&CM_MERCH=IDX_00008_0000000555_0000000116&origin=index

      http://www.landsend.com/pp/34sleeveNoIronPinpointSplitneckShirt~218477_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::RAS&CM_MERCH=IDX_00008_0000000555_0000000116&origin=index

      The Limited is currently having 40% off all skirts, pants, and jackets. I would look at those and look for some online coupon codes, you could get even more off. Most of the limited stuff is polyester, but the suit skirting is a great length and fit for me. A lot of their button ups are currently buy one get one half off: http://www.thelimited.com/category/whats-new/special-offers/1296?order=&page=all

    • Margaret

      Unfortunately, it’s a no. And I’m not saying this as a knee-jerk reaction or anything. I actually stocked up my closet with bus casual clothing from H&M when I started working over 5 years ago, and had really great luck particularly with pants (three pairs of which I still regularly wear now). But when I’ve tried replicating that luck recently, I’ve felt the quality and selection was not there.

    • anon

      I am a firm believer in dressing your budget.

      If you can’t afford more quality pieces, look for pieces from stores like Kohls, JC Penney, Target, or New York and Co, which have some surprisingly nice looking professional clothes for cheap. I could buy a whole professional wardrobe from JC Penney for $200. Sure, cheaper clothes won’t last forever, but if you take special care of them they will last long enough for you to start making a decent salary!

      No matter what store you shop in, focus on buying basic, classic looking pieces that fit you well to avoid looking cheap.

      I have also discovered that some colors look more expensive than others in cheaper clothing brands. For instance, grey and navy typically look more expensive than black.

      Additionally, if you are in a business casual environment, added details really polish up an outfit and make it look more expensive. Cardigans, vests, or casual blazers really polish a look for a business casual environment. You can get all of these items from the above mentioned cheap stores for $20-$40 a piece. Jewelry doesn’t cost much but can add some punch to an outfit as well.

      Good luck with your job!

    • 2L NYC

      If you live near a Uniqlo — go there. LOVE their button downs, and right now they have seating. They are at approximately the same price point as H&M.

      • Only in Soho...

        Yes, Uniqlo is wonderful, but there is ONE store in the U.S. and no online shopping — being in NYC, you may not realize that. So, it’s more like, “If you live near THE Uniqlo…” :)

      • Ann

        Huh…I have always wondered why I saw so many Uniqlo clothes in magazines but no one I knew actually HAD Uniqlo clothes, despite their affordability. I guess this is why!

    • Eponine

      The woman who writes this (fabulous) blog is an accountant and she always looks fabulous and professional: http://www.extrapetite.com/. I’d suggest shopping where she shops! In general, though, the stores you shopped in as a student aren’t going to be appropriate for work clothes. I’d avoid H&M, Zara, Target, Forever 21, Old Navy and the like until you get a better feel for what’s appropriate and what’s not. If you can afford it, meet with a Nordstrom personal shopper. If you’re on you’re own, J. Crew and Ann Taylor are good places to look for work appropriate but younger-looking pieces. And try shopping in department stores – Macy’s and Bloomingdales always have good professional attire at a reasonable price. Also check out discount department stores like Filene’s, Loehmann’s, Marshall’s, etc, for the same brands at lower prices.

      When you’re just starting out, I think it makes sense to buy 2-3 quality suits with both pants and a skirt, and build your outfits around those. Some quality suit brands include Theory, J. Crew, Tahari (or Tahari ASL), Calvin Klein, Brooks Brothers, etc. Look for something that’s a wool blend, ideally a “seasonless” wool if you’re not going to have enough clothes to rotate your wardrobe seasonally; polyester can, but doesn’t always, look cheap. Get some nice, feminine (but not sparkly or low-cut) blouses, with short or long sleeves but not sleeveless, to go with the suits, from a store like Ann Taylor. Get a few simple cardigans. Voila, you have a work wardrobe. Mix and match the pieces for a few months and by then you’ll have a better idea about whether you can be more adventurous or not.

      As for shoes, stick to basic leather pumps or flats, no open toes or platforms, for a little while until you get a better idea of what works in your workplace. You can have a bit more fun with jewelry if that’s your thing, but don’t wear anything that looks cheap or loud.

      Good luck! Happy shopping!

    • S

      Do you live near any outlet stores? I’ve gotten some great work pieces fromt he Ann Taylor factory store near me and they have held up really well.

      I would also try to stick in the same basic color scheme so you can mix and match more easily. I tend to wear a lot of purples and blues and grays with suits that are black or gray. I find I have a lot less things that tend to “go” with a brown suit I own now because of it–so it hasn’t gotten me the same bang for my buck. (I’m guessing someone who has built a wardrobe around oranges, browns, and tans would feel the same way if asked to work in some of my blue tops and shells.) I also try to stay away from anything too loud in color or pattern so people will tend not to notice “repeats” so much. (You can still have fun–but I save the pops of serious color for things like shoes or a bag I’ll wear every day.)

      And congrats!

    • WB

      Don’t forget to keep in mind the cost of cleaning the item. I purchased a bunch of silk blouses before thinking about the dry cleaning costs, which was a very expensive mistake. My dry cleaners charges $8.75 per blouse. Ouch!

    • sutemi

      I’ve had a couple older button downs from H&M that were okay quality and lasted about 2 years. I found that most of their button front shirts do not have buttons that come up to the neck. If the buttoning stops at the sternum I can’t wear the shirt without a cami underneath so I avoid buying them.

    • G

      I guess I’m in the minority here, but I have found the occasional good button-down at H&M. I tend to loathe button-downs because they’re not usually tailored well for my (large) chest, but I have a few from H&M I love. You just have to be careful to notice the fabric and fit- not every shirt they sell is work-appropriate. But the ones that are are amazing, and a great deal. I haven’t noticed durability issues, despite my tendency to neglect clothes by machine-washing.

  20. K

    Any advice or motivational words for someone procrastinating badly on a really important project?

    I’m one of the top 2 candidates for a job that I really, really want, and the final step of the interview process is a pretty involved project, requiring lots of data analysis and critical thinking. While the project is very interesting to me, there are also lots of numbers and terminology that I’m not completely familiar with.

    I’ll admit it: I’m completely intimidated by this project. I’m afraid of doing it ‘wrong’ or not doing it ‘well enough’ and thus missing out on my chance at this job, which could be a career-maker for me. Everytime I sit down to work on it, I manage to find something else to do. Help? Kick me in the butt please!

    • Bets

      Try breaking the project down into steps. Not only will this allow you to work on it in small chunks without being overwhelmed, but planning out the project will make you feel more on top of things. It puts you back in charge.

      Also, promise yourself that finishing early means you’ll have more time to go back and polish the finished product. If possible, find a trusted friend to proofread–spell check doesn’t catch everything. Nothing is worse than feeling like an extra day would have allowed you to take a crucial project from “decent” to “flawless.”

      Finally, remember that you wouldn’t have made it this far if you didn’t have what it takes!

      Good luck!

    • Sydney Bristow

      You can do this. Sometimes you just need to sit down and get started and then the rest will just happen.

      You want to turn this in to the interviewers in the best possible condition right? In order to do this, you need to start it now so that you can get it into that condition and not have any regrets when in comes time to turn it in. Also, since you are afraid of doing it wrong, it is best to start right now so that if you start it and realize it is wrong, you will have the time to fix it.

      You can do this! Good luck!

    • Esquirette

      You can do this! You know you can! This is *your* opportunity. I’ve totally been where you are, and I’ve said to myself (more frequently as I’ve gotten older and with more conviction), not to let myself get in my own damn way of showing people what I’m capable of. Hammer it out, and be done with it, knowing you did the best you could.

    • K

      Thanks, everyone! I managed to make some decent progress this weekend. It’s not 100% where I want it to be, but it’s getting closer and I have a few more days to refine it.

      I realized that this is one of those “there’s no right or wrong answers, we just want to see how you think” projects, so the decision makers will probably either love or loathe it. I’m keeping my fingers crossed they love it though!

  21. hurt and upset

    I need some advice. I am struggling to pay the bills as a law student, so I apply for scholarships and work part-time. The problem? All the scholarships I qualify for go to one or two people at school. I am pretty sure these people are being unethical and not reporting the amounts they have won to the school. In the meantime, my frustration with my financial situation is killing me, and the future (as a lawyer at a nonprofit) does not look bright either. Have you dealt with a situation like this? How can I move past this, or become a better scholarship applicant?

    • Another Sarah

      Do you mean they’re not reporting it on their taxes? I didn’t think you had to report outside scholarships to the school. Wouldn’t the outside scholarship just cut a check directly to the school, and if there’s any left over, the school would cut a check to the student? If this is the case, the school probably already knows about the scholarship…

      If the scholarships go to the same one or two people, look to see what they are doing vs. what you’re not. If you’re working and they’re publishing, and they get the scholarships because they published, that could be it. It could be a situation where their GPAs are just slightly higher than yours, and so they just edge you out. You didn’t mention loans, have you already maxed them out? I know they don’t necessarily help the long-term financial situation, but your school may have a LRAP program aimed at the work you want to do.

    • that is life...

      sorry to say but you need to move on. when i was in law school, a good friend who was first in our class not only had school paid for by scholarships but also cost of living – she got enough that she was able to pay for her apartment, food, car, etc. Nothing unethical about it – those funds go to a select few and there is nothing the rest of us can do about it.

      That is why – unfortunately – so few people are able to work in non-profit straight out of law school. Honestly, if you are at a top school, I think your only chance would be to see if a lower-ranked school would give you scholarships if you transferred there…

  22. Ms. Basil E Frankweiler

    FYI: Today Forever 21 is donating 100% of its proeeds to the Japan relief efforts. If nothing else they have pretty decent workout gear.

  23. Anon1

    I never make it to the open threads before 80+ comments. I have a threadjack about cosmetic surgery and I hope you ladies who have had work done will come out of the woodwork and share your stories (anonymously if need be).

    I’d like to get some lipo in certain areas that remain recalcitrant to diet and exercise, but I am afraid of the side effects and outcomes. To be specific, I want to get my abdomen, arms, and chin, as well as a breast reduction/lift. I’m pretty young and in good shape. I don’t want to have to deal with a lot of scarring or weird lumpy stuff, because honestly I’d rather deal with the fat. Do you ladies have any success/horror stories to share?

    • anon

      I can recommend a website, makemeheal.com, that’s good for research on plastic surgery. I did have some lipo, chin, abdomen, arms and thighs. I kind of regret the upper arms, specifically that little area under the arm that pouches out from my bra strap, but I’m a little older, and my skin did not bounce back the way I hoped. The rest I was happy with. Anyway, lots of people and stories on that website, good luck. Get a good plastic surgeon.

    • L

      Do you have kids? I know women who have gotten surgery before and after kids, and a breast reduction (in particular) can make you unable to nurse. In addition, pregnancy makes your boobs + tummy do all kinds of crazy things – my boobs got HUGE and then gradually shrank over 18+ months of nursing, and my tummy now looks all wrinkly bc it still has loose skin. For that reason, I’d wait until you’re done having kids to have the surgery. Good luck!

  24. mille

    PSA– If you are an ABA member, there is a 25% savings on regular priced items at Brooks Brothers March 18-21st .

  25. Anon the Mouse

    I just got a job offer for $100k in NYC. This would be an increase from about $72 in Portland Oregon, but the job is something of a dream job, which is urging me to take the offer. I have used several different cost-of-living calculators and all have given me varying answers – from a strictly COL perspective, is the offer good?

    • Kady

      Hard to say, but Portland is probably the better deal. First, it’d be almost impossible for you to find a place in Manhattan that is comparable to what you’d be able to afford in Portland (especially post-recession, which has affected prices in Portland much more than NYC). Second, your salary will take the additional hit of NYC taxes, and higher state taxes. Finally, there are some real “benefits” to living in Portland that you will feel priced out of in NYC (I am specifically thinking of access to open space and any hopes you may have of being a homeowner, if that is of interest to you). However, it is entirely possible to live in NYC comfortably on $100k. And if you have more long-term opportunities for career advancement in NYC (and thus, better chance for future salary increases), you should probably just take the job, despite the hit in your current purchase power.

    • Margaret

      Portland is definitely the better deal COL-wise, so expect your quality of life to go down a bit. But you will be *absolutely comfortable* in NYC on $100k. If the job is a dream job, you should definitely take it.

    • T

      I would suggest comparing apartment rents or house prices. This will give you a much more accurate picture.

      When I moved from TX to Southern Calif. 3 yrs ago; the online COL calculators gave me something in the 15-25% range; but my rent for a simple 1 BR apartment (same square footage and amenities) more than doubled.

      Also, I believe Oregon doesn’t have sales tax, correct? You need to factor that into your calculation too.

    • Eponine

      You’re probably going to live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a 45 minute commute. But you will be solidly middle class. Whether that constitutes a “good” COL depends on what you value. I personally would have no qualms about taking a 100K job in NYC if it was a job I really wanted.

    • kz

      You’re not going to have the same standard of living as Portland probably, but that’s definitely enough to live on. I would skip looking at Manhattan entirely, honestly, if you’re used to a lot of space. Consider the outer boroughs or New Jersey–you get a lot more for your money in terms of space. I live in Long Island City, which is in Queens just across the river and literally one stop to Grand Central, but I have a very spacious apartment with a washer, dryer, and dishwasher all in the apartment (this is rare in NYC) and very decent rent. And my building has a pool and is next to a very nice park. I have friends in Jersey City, which is one stop on the PATH to the financial district, that have a similar building/rent price. Certain people will look at you funny when you say you live in Queens, but honestly, you get so much more for your money if you find the right place.

      Oh, and Jersey City avoids NYC income tax (is there a commuter tax? Any Jersey people around here?), so that’s a plus.

      • AIMS

        I don’t know why everyone says you cant afford Manhattan on 100K but I just want to point out that that’s not true. You can absolutely find good (by local standards) deals! Yes, it will probably be a not huge one bedroom, but if you’re living by yourself, do you really need a house? I would not recommend anyone moving to NY pick their first place in NJ or Queens. I have nothing against either, but many people hate the commute. You’re also likely to spend the money you save on cabs to get home. I did the math and — for me — moving to LIC just doesn’t make financial sense (as much as a W&D in the apt sounds like heaven!). Look for an apt. with an easy commute for work. Btw, if you live in NYC, you won’t need a car so factor that into your calculations.

        Anyway, I think Portland and NYC are different, and comparing the two requires knowing what you want from your life, what kind of stuff you like to do, etc. Personally, I love my quality of life in NYC, we have tons of green spaces (Central Park? Prospect Park? The High Line? And btw New York City has more miles of waterfront than Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago, and Portland combined. Really.), and being around all the arts is amazing. I am literally never bored. Anyway, it’s very different. If you decide to go with NYC, please post — I am sure people would have lots of helpful suggestions re: neighborhoods to live in, etc.

        • kz

          AIMS is right–you definitely, absolutely can live in Manhattan for $100,000. But if you’re coming from Portland and think a tiny apartment will be too harsh of an adjustment, I do think people should check the outer boroughs. If you pick the right location (and there are definitely a lot of places I would not recommend), I really don’t think the commute is as bad as people think, especially if you work in midtown (or in the financial district if you live in Jersey City). In the mornings, my roommates get to work in 15-25 minutes (I work in Brooklyn, which takes an hour, but that’s another story). If you’re coming back during rush hour, similar commute home. The trains are a little slower off-peak and the weekends, but that’s true on most of the lines. I also never, ever take cabs (only if it’s very late at night, and even then only if I have to get up early the next day. Otherwise I wait for the train), so I don’t spend money on that–if you take cabs regularly, it may make more sense to live in Manhattan. Brooklyn is also a lovely option, I just don’t know as much about it in terms of rent prices/commute times. To me, Brooklyn has a cleaner, more open, neighborhood feel than the other boroughs.

          In short, yes, $100,000 is plenty to live on in NYC.

    • Anonymous

      Are you from/have you stayed in Oregon before? Parts of Portland can be quite expensive. If you are working downtown, you can try to live on the Max line and not have a car, but I wouldn’t really recommend that. If you are working downtown and don’t live downtown, you will likely have quite the commute (by Oregonian standards) driving. Remember to take car payments, insurance, gas, etc. into your calculations.

      On the other hand, if you live in NYC your commute will be on a train. I live in Brooklyn, and always give myself 1 hour to get somewhere. The difference is that it is on the subway, so you can read, watch podcasts, etc. You won’t have the costs associated with a car, and an unlimited monthly metrocard is currently $104.

      For what it is worth, I have a roommate and my share of the rent of our large Brooklyn apartment is about $200 more a month than my rent was when I lived in Portland. Also, I’m single, have a ton of student debt, and some credit cards and have figured out that I need to make $55,000/year to cover my expenses. $100,000 a year would work nicely for me in NYC.

      As someone who has lived in both places you are considering, I think you definitely need to take into consideration more than the COL stuff (I’m sure you are). I grew up in Oregon (lived in Portland for a few years) and moved to NYC a little over a year ago to follow my dreams. I haven’t regretted it for a second.

      • Anon the Mouse

        I am in Portland now – and a portion of that $72 is tuition reimbursement – my actual salary is more like $58, which is another reason a jump to $100K looks pretty great, although the new gig wouldn’t include tuition. Another factor is the degree itself – I’m pursuing a master’s and am weighing two schools – one in Portland (for which I could get the degree for free, but from a mediocre school) and one in NYC (which I’d have to pay for, but from an Ivy league outfit).

        Other details: I don’t have kids, but I do own a house in Oregon. My commute in Portland is about 40 minutes to an hour each way, which I drive alone (public transit would take FOREVER) so I end up spending about $225/month in car stuff. My workplace in NYC would be very close to a major transit station.

      • Anon the Mouse

        Thanks so much for the advice, everyone! It’s good to get neutral third-party perspectives on the whole thing, and if I decide to go, I’ll definitely be posting again asking for neighborhood advice. :)

        Anonymous! I would love to talk to you offline about making the move from Portland to NYC if you are interested. I definitely need a perspective from someone who’s lived in both places.

        • Anonymous

          Of course. Maybe if we both send Kat our email addresses, she could exchange them for us?

    • cbackson

      Are you in Portland now? I can’t quite tell from your email.

      I went to law school in NYC, although I didn’t have a typical student situation because I was married to someone who worked full time. I now live in Seattle, which is as we all now, similar to Portland, but with a better soccer team.*

      It really depends, to me, on what you want. Even though my spouse made almost twice as much as you’re looking at, I felt more financially squeezed that I was comfortable with. I wanted to be able to take an aggressive approach to both saving and paying down my student loans. That wasn’t possible given an NYC cost of living. Admittedly, we lived in a very expensive apartment ($2700/month for a studio in the West Village) but it was also the tax burden and the significantly higher cost of things like groceries, dry cleaning, health care, etc. that made it tough. It also depends on if you’re a single person or have a family – childcare expenses in NYC can be gut-wrenching.

      The biggest thing for me, though, is what you enjoy doing. I’m an outdoors-y, sporty person, and access to things like skiing, hiking in serious wilderness, etc. is much better and cheaper in the PNW. I love to cook, and so I hated how much decent fresh food cost in NYC (and how awful much of the grocery store produce was – the months when the Greenmarket was in winter vegetable mode were pretty tough). On the other hand, if you’re more interested in cultural stuff, like theater or opera, you’re likely to have better and cheaper options in NYC. Airfare is lower and air connections are better (unless you’re going to HI, east/southeast Asia, or CA).

      For me, it’s no contest. But even the cost of living calculation will depend in large part on what goes into your COL now and what you want your life to be like.

      *Bring it, Timbers fans. I ain’t afraid of you.

    • Cross Country

      Just curious – How did you find a dream job in NYC from Portland? A cross-country job search scares me.

      • Anon the Mouse

        It actually found me, which is the weird thing. I’m a naturally suspicious person, so I was taken aback when I was approached – but in the industry I work in it’s pretty common for recruiters to contact individuals cold.

        Are you thinking of relocating? It’s definitely MUCH harder to look for a situation remotely – a lot of companies aren’t interested in non-local candidates because they don’t want to pay relocation expenses (not to mention travel expenses for those pesky in-person interviews) or deal with someone who may wind up unhappy in a new city and then leave right away. It’s not impossible, but you certainly need to be flexible. It’s good to have a reason other than a job why you’re thinking of moving – like, say, to be closer to family or to attend school.

    • Coach Laura

      The NYTimes Real Estate section routinely runs stories on different neighborhoods and what people go through to find new homes -both rentals and purchased apartments/co-ops/homes. The different series are called “The Hunt” “Living In” and “Habitats.” There may be others.

      NYT also has a property search feature. Right now, online access is still free but you may have to register and/or pay in the next few months.

      http://www.nytimes.com/pages/realestate/index.html

      Enjoy!

  26. WB

    I purchased my first pair of Cole Haan shoes yesterday, thanks to Endless’s friends & family sale. They arrived today, and I am amazed by how comfortable they are! Even my most comfortable pumps don’t have the padding these do. I’ve been wearing them around my apartment just because I can!

    They are however, suede. How late in the year is it acceptable to wear suede?

    • CFC

      I’m packing up my suede shoes now and will bring them back in September (maybe October if its another summer weather september). It probably depends on your climate, but I don’t think suede is comfortable in warm weather.

  27. Emily I

    I know this has been a topic before, but I’m looking for a good antiperspirant/deodorant. I’ve tried random drug store selections, including a “clinical” strength to apply at night, but nothing seems to be great. I don’t sweat excessively, but I feel like my deodorant wears off over the course of the day, leaving me slightly odorous. Any recs?

    • J

      Degree Clinical Protection Fine Fragrance in Sexy Intrigue scent! Nothing worked for me until I tried this deodorant. Now I only ever have to apply it once a day and it smells fantastic!

      • Anon

        Donna Karen Cashmere Mist. Purchase at the fragrance counter at department stores. Hands down the best deodorant ever. Google it – there are thousands of rec’s for it.

      • Emily I

        I actually have tried Degree Clinical very recently with not great results, but it wasn’t the Fine Fragrance kind. I don’t generally like heavily scented deodorants, though. I tend to stick to the powder fresh, etc.

        What I’d really like is something really works as an antiperspirant, but has the back up of a deodorant if I happen to get sweaty.

        • kali

          I swear by Secret’s clinical strength. You can buy unscented and power scents. Do try it for a good week or two before you decide because it has a “building” effect.

    • houda

      Roger Cavaillès, excellent deodorant which you can use immediately after waxing or shaving armpits (it does not sting).

    • Celia

      have you tried men’s deodorant? i actually find it to be more effective for me (accidental discovery – crashed my boyfriend’s place too many times without any deodorant to put on the next day!).

    • Finally Odor-free

      This sounds crazy, but it worked (sorry for the TMI here). I always had really bad BO–didn’t matter what I used, nothing worked. Then, I read about people who use Phillips Milk of Magnesia (yes, the laxative) for deodorant, and out of desperation I gave it a try. Two years later, I am still using MoM and don’t have BO problems anymore (including in the hot Texas summers). I just pour some into my hands when I get out of the shower, put it on, and let it dry for a few moments before getting dressed. It won’t control sweating because it isn’t an antiperspirant, but it works to control odor all day long.

      In the summer, I’ve also put it on my feet before putting on my shoes with great success (again, make sure you let it dry).

      • stinky feet

        Oh really? Thanks!! I really appreciate this! Will give it a try for sure!!

  28. jmr

    The dress is beautiful but I can’t see a practical use for it in my life. Do you ladies actually dress up to this extent (see dress above) for brunch and shopping dates, as Kat suggests? I feel like this dress would make me very overdressed for such events, but perhaps I am not hanging out with affluent people often enough. Additionally, I can’t remember the last “cocktail party” I attended. Oh well, a girl can dream…

    • L from Oz

      I dress up for brunch about twice a year, and since I cycle most places in regular clothes, a dress that short is probably bordering on indecent exposure (though when I was in Copenhagen and Amsterdam most of the locals didn’t seem to care about that sort of thing – I’m in a duller part of Europe). But it’s nice to dream!

    • Lyssa

      I personally like to dress up a little bit when I go out, even if I’m going somewhere casual. I probably wouldn’t wear this shopping, because the stores are usually cold and I can’t think of any comfortable shoes I would wear with it, but (assuming that it isn’t as short as it looks), I would probably wear it to a casual restuarant or get together at someone’s house. (I usually at least wear nice, dark jeans and heels for things like that, even if everyone else is more casual, I like it.)

    • LA girl

      pre-baby, i would have worn this kind of dress constantly. now, not so much, unfort.

  29. Maddie Ross

    Anyone else still getting the 403 error messages? I am still getting them on my work computer and it’s driving me batty! I miss all y’all during the day! I’ve been forced to read CNN (so depressing this week) in my moments of procrastination. Kat, will this ever be fixed and come back on work computer, or am I destined to reading corporette at night only?

  30. Amy H.

    Has anyone tried the new (I think) Theory “Nomee” wide-leg trouser? I saw it on the Bloomingdales site but couldn’t find it on Nordstrom.com.

    I am definitely pear-shaped, with heavy thighs, and I’ve never been able to wear Theory trousers. I’m wondering whether I might be able to swing it with this particular cut. I hope so!

    • AIMS

      Just be sure to size up with Theory. I wear a much larger size in Theory bottoms than in any other pants.

  31. Miriam

    Threadjack, I really need advice on this one. Spring break is just ending when my roommate, who owns the condo that I live in with her and one other female, just dropped a bomb on me saying that her boyfriend who she has known for about 2 months is moving in. They haven’t even been ‘official’ for more than 1 month and I am so unbelievably uncomfortable with this. We had a huge fight about it and now I don’t know what to do. Am I being ridiculous? She hardly knows him and I’ve never lived with a man before (aside from my father and brother) My other roommate is fine with it, but I just think it’s crazy to live with someone you have only known 2 months. In general, I am very concerned about being safe in my home and I do not want some guy to suddenly move in! I don’t know what to do and I don’t think I have much of a choice. I’m tempted to move out but finals are coming up and I have so much on my plate that I don’t think that is possible. I would move back home where my parents live but that is an hour away from school.

    • Eponine

      Move out and let him take over your lease. Even with finals coming up, you’ll be 100x more comfortable without a strange, annoying guy in your place, and you’ll miss the drama that will ensue when this inevitably doesn’t work out.

    • TCFKAG

      I’d say view him as a Craigslist roommate, which many people do every day. Try to assess him as best you can (for example, is he creepy? that sort of thing). I mean, its not an ideal situation, thats for sure.

      In general, I think its not great to have a roommate who owns the place (or think she owns the place) because of exactly situations like this, she thinks she can set the house rules!

      You can probably live with this through finals (you’ll be studying 24/7 anyway) and then, well, she made her bed but YOU don’t have to live in it. Move out. :-)

    • Another Sarah

      Does your bedroom have a lock where you can lock yourself in and lock someone else out? If not, it may make you feel better to talk to the building management to install one – or you install one if your owner-roommate gives her OK. Tell her that it’s not that you don’t trust your other roommates/him, but something like you recently inherited some nice pieces (even if you didn’t) and you just don’t want to create a temptation for anyone to do anything stupid. You don’t know him, you don’t know his friends (and I bet she doesn’t either), and it may make you feel better knowing that this dude can’t get into your room unless you say he can.

      If it doesn’t make you feel better, I agree and move out after finals – have him take over your lease.

    • T

      I once lived with the roommate who owned a condo. He would ask me to screen any potential roommates even though he owned the place. He also appreciated that my living there was helping him with the mortgage payments, and valued my opinion in making decisions.

      Even if she owns the place, I think she should have at least checked with you first, and given you a two week timeframe to move out before he moved in if you were uncomfortable.

      It is not just about physical safety; you have to trust the person not to look at your mail, other important documents, etc; so you are justified in being cautious.

    • Laura #2

      First of all, you’re not being ridiculous, but she does have every right to do this. Should she have asked you? Yes. Does she need to ask you? No.

      How many times have you met this guy, and what kind of vibes do you get from him? Yes, two months is very fast, but weird life situations can happen. I had a friend who moved in with her boyfriend and his roommates within a few months of dating (lots of factors to the decision), and while she agrees that it was fast, things worked out fine and they are still together.

      It’s one thing if you’re uncomfortable with the situation out of concern for your roommate and some concern about this new person in your space. It’s a completely different thing if this will make you feel really, truly unsafe in your space and if you get the sense that he’s not a person you can trust.

      I’ve had two Craigslist roommates and I felt comfortable with them as soon as I met them. Point being: there can be strangers–male or female–who don’t make you uncomfortable. There are some people who you feel comfortable with and some who you don’t, and if it were me, I would not spend time living with someone who flat-out makes me uncomfortable. Just my $.02.

    • Miriam

      Thanks for the advice everyone. After speaking to my mom and sister, I think I will stick it out until after finals and then decide if i want to move out. Everything has been fine until this point. I think my main issues are that there really isn’t enough space for him, safety concerns, living with a couple and any issues that could come up, and the fact that she really didn’t consult me or care about my concerns/feelings. I wish I could afford a studio apartment or a one bedroom! I’m tired of roommates.

      • ADB_BWG

        If an additional person is moving in, your rent and share of utilities should be decreased. Have you had that discussion?

    • Miriam

      My lease doesn’t say anything about another person moving in. We had a long talk last night and I figure as long as my concerns are addressed it should be okay, like he needs to be quiet while I am studying especially with upcoming finals. He would have a month to month lease so if anything happens he’s out almost immediately. She wants to be smart about it. I’m not thrilled, but there’s nothing I can do, and moving into another place could be just as bad, if not worse because there haven’t been any other problems. The idea of a guy moving in without any control over it is what bothered me…..maybe I’m a control freak. Hopefully I can get my rent decreased a bit. That would be nice. So I’ll see what happens and hopefully it will all work out. I was just fuming the other night!

      • Lyssa

        FWIW, I think that you’re totally in the right here, to be uncomfortable and concerned. Your roommate is being extremely selfish to push any other person on you as an additional roommate (and I don’t think that it’s prudish at all to want to live only with females, if that’s what you’re comfortable with.)

        It’s probably best to stick it out for finals, but, if it makes you feel any better, I commuted my entire three years from over an hour away. (I think it actually made me a better student; there were less temptations to party when I should have been studying.) Living with the family might not be too bad.

  32. Magdalena

    I was so inspired by the Corporette commenters’ suggestions for Washington, D.C. from a couple of weeks ago that I invited my mom to go to the city with me for Mothers’ Day weekend. There were a lot of recos for restaurants in that thread, but does anyone have a suggestion specifically for a good brunch spot that would be special enough for Mothers’ Day, but yet not intimidatingly formal? Thanks!

      • Magdalena

        Oh, this is a great site; I really like how they have things split up into neighborhoods. That’s always so helpful when planning a trip where you’re not a familiar with how far one thing is from another. Thank you for the tip!

    • AE

      Tabard Inn. I recommended this place for dinner and not brunch, but the brunch is supposed to be excellent. It has a nice outdoor patio space and is not too formal. You must make a reservation well in advance.

      • Magdalena

        I stumbled upon another Tabard Inn recommendation, and I’m glad to have a second opinion. (Why is it that I lend so much more credence to the info on Corporette?) :)

      • Eponine

        The brunch is sadly mediocre and it’s zoo-like crowded with poor service. Tabard’s riding on a reputation that it hasn’t deserved for 5+ years.

        • Eponine

          Hit submit too soon – I meant to say to check out this site http://bitcheswhobrunch.com/ for reviews of lots of brunch places. Personally I think Firefly and Afterwords (inside Kramerbooks) are good. Or for something unusual, try Mandu’s Korean brunch.

          • m/dc

            I respectfully disagree regarding the Tabard Inn–I’ve always had reliably good food there (actually, lunch during the week really nice–well-prepared food in an informal setting). Service on weekends is typical harried brunch service, though.

            Afterwords is underwhelming. It really is extremely crowded and never seems particularly clean to me. I haven’t tried Firefly, but I’d like to.

            I also like Poste, in the Hotel Monaco, for brunch. The food is consistently fresh and frequently local, and there’s a nice patio in the inner courtyard where you can sit outside when it’s warm.

        • Eponine

          My comment got stuck in moderation – check out the site b–cheswhobrunch.com (with it in place of the –) for reviews of lots of brunch places. Personally I think Firefly and Afterwords (inside Kramerbooks) are good. Or for something unusual, try Mandu’s Korean brunch.

      • Bonnie

        I had great brunch at Tabard Inn recently. It does get crowded but the food is worth it. If you’re looking at going somewhere unique, you could have brunch on the roof of the Kennedy Center or on an Odyssey cruise.

      • Magdalena

        Mine, too. Ever since I suggested it she’s been researching all of the different things that we can do! It actually makes me feel a little bit guilty that I haven’t taken her more places…

    • kz

      no suggestions, but make sure to make reservations early–according to my dad, who owns a couple of restaurants, mother’s day is actually the busiest day in the restaurant business.

    • Marie

      Be sure to spend some time walking around old town alexandria…that is one thing my parents/relatives (and me!) really love to do, and that I didn’t know about before relocating here.

    • basketcase for basketball

      For something a bit different, you can try Georgia Brown’s over on 14th NW. It is a jazz brunch and the food is southern low country food. It is around 35 bucks a person, but you get SO MUCH food — there is a buffet and then you get an entree (which we took to go) and then you get dessert. and the food is very yummy.

      Also, District Chophouse (7th and F NW) has a very good brunch and is usually not too crowded.

  33. Nicole

    I am in need of some fashion advice – any suggestions are appreciated! I desperately need a major work wardrobe update. I’m a third year associate at a conservative law firm. I am in litigation, so I am expected to wear a suit about three times a week. I basically alternate pieces of two suits (one is black, the other is gray) with a few different tops to go with them. I rarely wear jewelry (aside from my engagement and wedding ring) or accessories, but would love to find some pieces that are classy and professional. I have saved up some money to flesh out my wardrobe, but now I’m stuck about deciding what to purchase. My goal is to have more stylish pieces that can be worn without a suit jacket (at the office) or with a suit jacket (in court) and will look professional. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance!

    • Anonymous

      The Ann Taylor “buy 3 pieces and get 40 percent off” is a great way to buy an outfit that you can mix and match: skirt, jacket, pants, and/or sheath dress. The only drawback with the sheath dress is that they are almost all sleeveless and unless you are in the deep south you may not feel comfortable wearing sleeveless without the jacket. AT’s clearance also have some good buys on tops to mix and match, look for the cap sleeve or sleeveless.
      I also have recently purchased some dresses at Talbots on final sale, less than $50 each, which mix and match well with jackets I already have.
      Finally, if you know your size in several different brands, you can get some extraordinary buys on outfits on ebay. I did that a few years ago, buying several jackets that I mix and match with pants I already owned.

      As I mentioned in response to another query, Lands End makes really beautiful no iron pinpoint blouses that you can often buy on sale for $15 to $20. They look very professional wiht skirts or pants, although I still have trouble managing the collars on button up shirts/blouses with jackets/blazers. Good luck.

      • Ann

        Love eBay. Just got a Donna Ricco dress on eBay that I had been coveting for awhile for $30. eBay should be the first place professional women on a serious budget look for work clothing.

        • Jess

          I got my wedding dress on ebay, but for some reason I never think to look there for everyday clothing. Thanks for the tip!

      • Lyssa

        On the sleeveless sheath dress issue, I usually (at least in winter) wear a thin, snug fitting cardigan over a dress, under a blazer, to keep the dress from being “sleeveless”. I find that if I button one or two middle buttons, I can fold back the top of the cardi so that it doesn’t show under the blazer.

    • Ann

      How much are you budgeting? I think your wardrobe sounds pretty sparse and it probably is time for a major upgrade.

      I would start out looking at places like Nordstrom – the Classiques Entier and Halogen lines there have very nice, durable, affordable suits. I agree with the advice to buy as many pieces in one fabric/dye lot as you can – so buy pants, skirt, jacket and dress in the same fabric if you can find all the pieces in the right sizes, and they fit you well. I would also look at Macy’s – they have EveryDay Value lines from Anne Klein, Calvin Klein, Jones New York, etc. Macy’s INC and Style and Co. brands are cheaper quality and more trendy, but sometimes you can find nice silk blouses, wool pants, etc.

      The other place I always recommend is Pendleton – I got a card the other day that they are having a suit sale, not sure if it’s over yet or not. They have very good, seasonless-weight wool suiting in a lot of different colors, fabrics and styles and when the pieces go on sale, they are great bargains. They also carry nice sweaters, blouses, etc.

      A lot of women here really like Theory, but apparently you have to have a pretty straight figure for it – I don’t, and I am also a little larger than their largest size, so Theory never works for me. It’s something to try if you can try some things on in-store somewhere. Jones New York sells what I consider to be “lower-end” suiting, but they always have a LOT of different pieces, and coordinating tops that go with whatever suits they have. Their outlet stores, if you are near one, have great sales, where you can pick up several pieces at once. If you have serious bucks to spend, I would look at Lafayette 148 – sold online and at Saks – and Saks Fifth Avenue in general.

      Before you go shopping, I would take a hard, critical look at your existing suits. If you’ve been wearing the same 4 suit pieces several times a week for awhile, your suits may have had it. If they are stained, threadbare in spots, the seams are worn or stretched, the fabric has thread pulls, the pants/skirts are shiny on the seats, or anything has lost shape, you need to discard them and buy new gray and black suiting pieces. Then I would personally add navy blue, whatever gray you haven’t been wearing (light, medium or dark), a dark brown, and a lighter-colored tan or beige.

      You can probably buy 8-12 new pieces and end up with tremendous versatility in your wardobe, without spending a ton of money or running out of closet space. I would say at least 2 new jackets with coordinating pants, 2 new skirts (if you wear them), a pair of non-suit trousers, and four to six new tops would be the minimum I would pick up. Also consider getting some new jewelry (you don’t have to go bold if that’s not your style, but a simple torsade beaded necklace or some nice earrings can go a long way), and take a hard look at your work shoes – if they are worn, scuffed, etc. it’s time to buy new ones of those as well. I believe in spending a lot on shoes and having fewer of them – I have some great Stuart Weitzman heeled loafers I wear everywhere, and they are holding up great. They cost me about three times what I was paying for shoes, but they’ve been worth it.

      Have fun and think outside the box! This is a great opportunity to reinvent yourself if you’re inclined to. :)

        • Anne Shirley

          One of my favorite pieces of Kat’s advices was basically work with you- if you own nothing brown, go with it and stick with blacks and grays. If you never wear skirts, go for pants, if on weekends you rock purple all the time find something in that color. I also think anytime you are doing a wardrobe upgrade, you also need to do a wardrobe clean out and assessment.

          • Ann

            This is good advice too. The other piece of advice I have is, don’t buy 3-4 whole “outfits” unless the pieces of each outfit work together. So don’t buy a navy suit outfit, a black suit outfit, an olive green suit outfit, and a gray suit outfit and then end up with 12 pieces that don’t relate to each other at all and can’t be worn except how you bought them. Think basics and test pieces against each other. I would think in terms of buying solids rather than prints or textures – for both suits and separates – and stick with neutrals as much as possible. “Pops” of color are fine, but don’t pick colors that don’t really suit you or that you kind of dislike – you’ll never wear them. If you need color guidance, Nicole, I highly recommend “What You Wear Can Change Your Life” by Trinny and Susannah of the Brit “What Not To Wear” fame. There’s a huge section in the book that talks about how different shades of color work with different hair/skin/eye coloring.

  34. help from the socal ladies?

    My husband and I are taking our 3 small kiddos to southern California this coming week for vacation. We have all of the usual activities on the agenda for the week, but for Sunday we’d love to slow down the pace and stay outdoors. Any suggestions? Are there some good state parks near San Diego? The kids could handle 3 miles or so of hiking or a bit longer if it’s more like a rambling path. Something involving nature would be great.

    Thanks in advance ladies!

    • Debra

      What about Sea World? Kids Love that!!!

      Also, if you have a little boy, you should go to the Naval exhibit. My Larry was 7 when we went there and now he is in the Navy, we all think because of that visit. Enjoy, but make sure to bring a sweater, because it is still chilly at nite!

    • SDOfCounsel

      Depending on the weather, there are a bunch of nice walks. Torrey Pines would be my first choice if the weather is nice. It is a relatively easy hike. There is more than one loop, with varying distances and difficulties. You might also consider the Cabrillo National Monument. It has a nice 2.5 mile trail and a lighthouse which tends to be popular with children.

      If the weather is less nice then I would second the recommendation for the Wild Animal Park or the Zoo. Check out the prices on line before you come. Depending on the age of your children, it can be less expensive to buy a dual membership which comes with two guest passes.

      One thing to remember is that if the weather at the coast is cold and foggy, it might still be beautiful a few miles inland. (Which is where the Wild AnimalPark is).

    • T

      One of the best things about SoCal in March are the wildflower blooms. desertusa is a good resource to find out where flowers are blooming at any given time – users post daily updates w/ pictures in spring.

    • Hel-lo

      Balboa Park is in San Diego and is beautiful and has very unique plant life (flowers, desert plants, etc).

      I’d also recommend taking the kiddos to Old San Diego. It’s like a historical area (think the time of Zorro) where you can walk around and see things.

      Both are quite walkable, but you can do as much or as little as you’re interested in doing.

  36. Financially Clueless

    Hi Ladies! I’m wondering if anyone has any tips on how to find a financial advisor? I think I need to get a handle on investments and saving for retirement (more than the typical 401K), and I don’t know the first thing about investing. I’d like to find a good, longterm advisor, but I don’t know the first place to start. It seems awkward to ask co-workers and other acquaintances because it seems like such a private thing.

    • Hel-lo

      Members of my family had been with Edward Jones for years. When I started my career, I just went to a local Edward Jones office and met with a person there. There is no fee for the initial meeting, and a good financial advisor will make you feel comfortable and help you navigate unknown terms. And I wanted a woman, so I just google mapped it and found the closest Edward Jones woman to where I lived.

      I now have an Edward Jones financial advisor that I’d trust with almost anything. (And you can ask her about anything financially-related, even if it’s not investments necessarily.)

    • Kady

      The one thing I’ve always heard (and agree w/) about financial advisors is that you need to make sure they are fee-based (iow, paid by you) and not commission-based. I’ve heard horror stories about commission-based financial advisors who get their clients to make all sorts of not-appropriate-for-them investments.

    • Divaliscious11

      Before you go to an advisor, you need to get some base line guidance. Personal finance for dummies, Suze Orman etc… all provide basic knowledge. You need to read varying viewpoints so add some Dave Ramsey, and David Bach to the mix. There is no one size fits all because the important thing is to tailor your financial plan for your family’s needs, so what works for one, doesn’t work for others. You can’t really know this without viewing different plans. Once you have the foundational knowledge, then take a look at your finances. Are you managing family finances? Are you just starting out? I generally think that until you have assets in excess of a half million, you really can manage alone, with 401K, IRA and low cost mutual funds, but others may differ. I use a little of this and a little of that. For example, I wholly agree with Dave Ramsey with regard to building an e-fund, but I have 2 e-funds, a $1K, like he suggests, for things like car repairs etc…, but then a separate e-fund for 6 months expenses. That said, I don’t believe debt is inherently evil, and if used wisely, has its purpose, so I would never rush to pay off my mortgage (prefer some liquidity), or my student loans (can’t repossess my brains or degrees) versus investing and building up savings, or if you have them paying off credit cards. Similarly, i think Suze Orman is nuts with her anti-market talk (especially since she made most of her money there before the book sales) but she is great at teaching you how to make purchase decisions etc….

      If you still need a financial advisor after you’ve educated yourself, find a fixed fee advisor. again if you are talking about a smaller portfolio, you shouldn’t be paying a percentage for management. This includes things like being sold whole or variable life insurance policies (a total racket for all but the very wealthy), versus term, especially if you don’t have kids/spouse depending on your income etc…

      Another good resource for information, websites of low cost funds such as Vanguard or Fidelity. Of course there will be slight biases toward there own managers but they do give you good basic knowledge.

      There are also lots of personal finance websites. I wouldn’t necessarily take their advise directly, but they are good for generating questions to research for additional knowledge.

      Good luck. I think it is very important for people to know how money works and what to do with it. I know several people who went with advisors, and while the advisors seemed to make good money, the people didn’t fair as well, principally because they okay’d things they didn’t understand. I am not suggesting advisors are unethical or sneaky, but you have to know and understand and partner with them, not turn over complete control.

  37. S

    Anyone have any brand recommendations for a pair of sheer black nylons that are of high quality? I’ve gone through about 4 pairs of Assets nylons and am fed up that they get a run after 1-3 wears.

    Also I’m curious what opinions are on wearing sheer black nylons in the summer for a law internship?

    • Maddie Ross

      I’ve worn black nylons in the summer for court before, but they have to be really sheer for me to feel like it works. Before you go buying lots of nylons for a summer clerkship though, I’d wait and see if you really have to wear them. All but the most conservative firms have moved away from summer nylons in all parts of the country, at least as far as I’ve heard. Many places that are really buttoned-up during the winter even go to biz casual in the summer. It’s worth thinking about or finding out about before you spend lots of money (esp. as a student).

    • Jay

      I have never seen any woman in my office wear black nylons in the summer. If any woman is wearing nylons of any color in the summer, I can’t tell–I think nude legs are the norm.

    • Ekaterin Nile

      I’m a mid-level associate at a large Midwestern law firm. When hose are required, I wear nude-for-me hose (even w/ a black suit) in the summer. I have never worn black nylons to work. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman atty at my 200+ atty law firm wear sheer black nylons. YMMV.

    • Eponine

      I post this so much I feel like Hue should pay me, but I love Hue hosiery. My favorites are the no-waistband ones or the Clear Control ones, but I’ve tried several styles and they’ve all been really durable.

    • cbackson

      Depends on where you’re working, but in the warmer months, I see fewer and fewer women in stockings. I prefer black sheers to nude, but I pretty much only wear them if I have to wear a suit (a very infrequent occurrence).

  38. South of Houston

    Since all of you regularly give such great advice on this board, I was hoping you could help me with a furniture question-

    I am moving into a new apartment with my bf (yay!) in a couple of months and we are getting several new furniture pieces since we both currently have tiny apts and very little furniture. We are planning to upgrade from Ikea / Craigslist level to the West Elm / Room & Board / Crate & Barrel / on-sale, low-end Ethan Allen level for the move.

    I was wondering what people’s experiences have been with the quality of the furniture at these types of places? How was delivery / customer service? Any other great furniture places in a similar price range (we’re in NYC) that I’m not thinking about?

    I would really appreciate any advice you all might have on the above… thanks so much in advance!

    • Sarra

      I would recommend Room and Board over the other places. I think the furniture tends to be more interesting and better quality, even if it is slightly more expensive. It puts stuff on sale at the end of the year, but other than that, no sales at all (so nothing to look forward to, but also you don’t have to worry about whether you should wait until there’s a sale or something). I looked at all these places, and ultimately got bookshelves and a bed from R&B. Now my DH and I are saving up a bit, then will go back for night tables, etc.

      I would recommend Ikea for couches (I was surprised, but our L-shaped couch is actually great and doesn’t look ikeaish), and they have a more expensive line of furniture that has served us well in the living/dining room area. Also they are good for lamps. But I would say not for things like dressers.

    • Another Sarah

      My bedroom set is Ethan Allen; my parents bought it when I was in middle school so I’m not sure how much they paid for it. But after 10-15 years of me using it almost every day, it still looks as beautiful as it did on the showroom floor.

      I remember fighting over it with my mom, since I wanted a different one. This is one of the cases where I’m glad my mom said, “I’m paying for it, so I get the final say.” :-)

      • South of Houston

        Thanks to all for the great advice and suggestions! I will definitely check out Macy’s and Design Within Reach, and I’m glad to hear R&B and Ethan Allen have fans. Really appreciate the help!

  39. Anonymous

    Anyone out there struggling with being single? From all outward appearances I have a great life (and I truly have nothing to complain about), but here I am, another Saturday night all alone. I have tried dating websites, and nothing. I’m mid-30s and tired of failed relationships. The post this week about diamond rings gripped my heart. I could care less about a diamond, I just want to find love. Any encouraging thoughts out there?

    • lawyerette

      Hang in there. I was you for many years (and so were most people I know) and it does get better. I eventually found my husband through an online dating site, after many many duds, so I would stick with that (I used to take breaks every few months when I couldn’t do it anymore).

      Also, I would recommend you try to find ways to do things on Friday and Saturday nights, even if they’re not dates. Plan to hang out with friends, join a bowling league, a sports league, or whatever interests you. I’d also recommend going to dinner and cafe’s by yourself. You’ll meet tons of people that way (bring a book but be open to talking to people). The more you are out, the more likely you’ll be to meet someone.

    • Miriam

      I agree with Lawyerette. I would suggest taking the breaks from online dating once in awhile. It can get discouraging to date so many duds. Also, hanging out with friends or just going out on your own could be a good option. Guys are more likely to talk to you if you are alone rather than with someone else, let alone on a bad date with another guy. Being friends with other women can also increase your network. Maybe you can meet other single women or women whose boyfriends have single friends. Or maybe just to make you happier. I’m doing the same thing you are, sitting here alone on a Saturday night. I really do sympathize with you.

      • Sigh

        I’m another single girl without plans for her Saturday night – just wanted you to know you’re not alone. I liked Lawyerette’s advice. Maybe tonight would be the perfect night for you to take yourself out to dinner? Though, if you can, I might suggest making plans with a friend, so you can get out of your own head for a few hours. Hang in there. :)

    • K

      I absolutely empathize with you. I’m a fellow single girl who has struggled with dating since my last serious relationship ended two years ago. I’ll be spending tonight alone too.

      Even though I’m younger than you, the majority of my friends are seriously coupled-up or married, so I know the feeling of ‘everyone has someone but me’. It can be rough, but then I just try to focus on the positive sides of it: getting to watch whatever I want on TV, going to yoga class and brunch and shopping on a Saturday without having to plan my day around anyone, and unlimited quality time with my family.

      I just keep reminding myself that nothing ever stays the same and one day, this will change too. Just because it hasn’t happened on the timeline that I’d like it to doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen.

      • Anonymous

        You’re all welcome to join my pizza, wine, and ice cream pity party for one. I was let go on Friday. My supervisor was a bit nasty about it.

        Strangely, I’m more happy than anything. This may be the kick I need to change industries. And if not I may actually have time to get a tan this summer.

        It’s just so embarrassing to “lose” a “good” job.

        • Miriam

          I don’t know if you were being sarcastic with saying you are happy and being positive, but I think it’s a very good way to look at things even though it is never fun to lose a job.

          • Anonymous

            Thank you both for the kind wishes, you’ve made me smile.

            I’m serious about feeling very relieved. I’d been saving money to take a year off. This relief may change but for now it’s wonderful.

    • coco

      Rather than thinking “another Saturday night along”, try to think of fun things to do by yourself during that time. For example, on Friday, I planned to make a delicious dinner, pop open a bottle of wine, and watch an old movie. Yes, it is a Friday/Saturday night alone in my apartment, but planning an activity makes it all feel far less depressing.

    • Jas

      Same here. I’m younger, but I’m also stuck in an incredibly couple-oriented and not particularly friendly town, so I have very few friends either. I’m so sick of feeling lonely and isolated.

      I guess I don’t have any encouraging thoughts, besides the fact that you’re not the only one.

      • Anonymous

        Thanks all (original Anonymous here)– appreciated your thoughts. Depsite my panicky moments yesterday of feeling like I’m going to die alone (!), I ended up having a pleasant Saturday night at home (a little Daniel Craig and Casino Royale never hurts!), and now having a pleasant Sunday morning breakfast. There are worse things, I suppose….

        And to Anonymous who lost her job this week– would have been great to have joined your pity party in person! But we would have turned it into a real party for sure! Do not be “embarassed” about losing a job. Go forth and do amazing things! Let this be the thing that propels you on rather than holds you back! Best of luck!!!

    • EC MD

      I struggled with being single for several years, and totally remember all the emotions. On the other side, with a husband and a two year old, whom I love dearly, the idea of a quiet Saturday night alone, watching a movie and having a glass of wine uninterrupted sounds like absolute heaven to me.

      I’m not going to be one of those annoying people who says “oh, you don’t know how lucky you have it.” That’s wrong. I’m not minimizing your situation, just telling you that there is a similar wistfulness from the other side.

      Hang in there, I’ve been there.

    • Anon Sunday

      Just wanted to say that I’ve been there and so have most of my friends.

      Even if it is difficult to make plans on a weekend evening, try to fill up the days as much as you can. Day activities seem to take off a lot of the pressure of a “date” and if even if you’ve just been busy volunteering on your own with a new group or going to brunch, shopping, or whatever for the afternoon with friends or family, you at least feel like you’re connected.

      Meetup.com has a lot of groups around any interest you can think of. Some may be better or worse, but it’s worth a time or two of going and at least you know the people there are also interested in expanding social circles. (And don’t write off any activities just because a bunch of couples show up–I met my husband [and two really great boyfriends before him] through married friends who wanted to “fix me up” with a husband’s good friend.)

      And whatever you do, don’t settle just because you’re tired of being alone. I opened myself and (ugh) stayed in some dud relationships for too long just for that reason.

      After meeting my husband, we were engaged in about three months. (I never thought in a million years that things would move that fast!) I only say that because you just never know how dramatically things can suddenly change.

      Keep putting yourself out there, and have faith because it’s just a matter of time. (If you’re on your own, than a lot of other amazing people are, too, you know.)

      • springtime

        Oh goodness I know the feeling!

        I’m not an expert, but whenever I feel this way here’s a few things that help me feel better:

        1) I’m a 2L so this may not be feasible, but I went out and got a parttime job. You can meet lots of fun people this way and you’ll be so busy you won’t have time to worry about your lonely Saturday nights!
        2) Decide that now’s the time to further your career- publish a paper (in the middle of trying to get that done), enroll in a course in the area of work you’re in (also great way to meet people), go to networking events, 3) Workout more (I don’t mind when people strike up a convo at the gym)
        4) Invite a colleague to do something fun and low key.

        I always meet guys when I go out with no expectations. Whenever I have this idea in my head that ‘tonight’ I must meet someone, it backfires. Maybe you’ve heard these suggestions before, but trust me when I say you’re not alone! There’s so much pressure to have plans on every Saturday night, it’s ridiculous!

        • Anonymous

          Don’t have much to add other than to let you know you’re not alone and I totally hear you. I think I’m pretty, smart, sweet and funny but yet still haven’t found the one (actually I think I did but let him go and completely regret it) and have dated a lot but no one worth having a relationship with and thus I feel like something is wrong with me. I’ve done all the things everyone says to do: try online dating, go out with friends, do things for yourself, go to happy hour with colleagues, take classes, venture to a bar/restaurant alone, hang out with family, etc. I have a very fulfilling social and work life and it’s super easy for me to make friends and become part of a group. Thus, I’m not lonely. I also don’t try to do activities just to meet someone. I actually do them because I enjoy it. Overall I’m happy with my life and doing all those things but yet I still feel like something is missing because I’m not in a relationship with someone else while everyone else appears to have someone. So yeah, sorry to sound bum, but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in feeling this way.

    • Single Gal

      I can empathize. I am fairly happy being single, but I recently moved to a town where people tend to marry and have kids very early. There really is no single life to speak of here, so it can get pretty lonely. People are either out with their spouses/kids or just staying in with them. What’s the most frustrating to me is that even if I did really want to find love, there really isn’t anyone here over 25 or so who is single, and I am in your age bracket.

    • cbackson

      No good ideas, just sympathy. I’m recently divorced, and I spend most Saturday nights alone. Everyone says “do things with friends,” but most of my friends are married or coupled up and Friday/Saturday nights tend to be nights when they do things with their SOs and/or kids. I actually go out a lot during the week with people, but I definitely get the sads on Saturday nights when I’m hanging out with my Netflix box.

    • lawtalkinggirl

      I was thinking of posting something similar after reading the rings at work comments. I am a single girl in her early 30s and I am now the last of my formerly single girlfriends who does not have a husband or boyfriend. I live in a place where the demographics are against me (people ages 30-34 are scarcer here than any other age group). I do the online thing and all my friends know I am single and looking. My worry is not so much that I will never find someone; it’s that I might be past my child-bearing years before I do. Ugh! All I can say is that you are not alone.

  40. Elpgal

    Can anyone recommend ways to get rid of brown facial spots? I think some are from ageing/sun-damage and the others are from whiteheads.

    • anon

      I’m having IPL done at my derm’s next weekend to hopefully rid. I’ll report back if there is any luck.

      Microdermabrasian and Retin-A have seemed to help a bit, but they always come right back. If yours aren’t as bad as mine, perhaps that will be enough for you?

    • LA girl

      what about the Clinique stuff? I don’t remember the name but I remember that it got best new invention from some magazine…Let us know if you find something!!

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