ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 275 Comments

Weekend Open Thread!

Old Navy Womens Jersey Knit Maxi DressesSomething on your mind? Chat about it here. Call me a hippie, but for some reason this season I'm really loving the maxi -dress and -skirt trend that seems to be everywhere. For a “I think I really like it” trend like this, though, it's always best to start on the budget end — and so this Old Navy knit dress makes a great starter-maxi. I like it as a beach coverup, or perhaps layered on top of a tank top for a day of shopping. It's available in black, hot pink and a green print for $35 (in regular, talls, and petites). Old Navy Womens Jersey Knit Maxi Dresses (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

275 Comments

  1. Need advice – I’ve applied to 2 jobs at my dream company (in 2 different groups) and recently saw on Linkedin that there are 6 more jobs similar to the ones I applied to (all under one large umbrella group). It’s a large global company and the job application process is web-based. I’m friends with someone in the group and he has provided me with limited information about the 2 roles I’ve already applied for – I don’t plan on going back to him as I was grateful for his answering my first 2 inquiries.

    Does it reflect poorly on me to apply to the other 6 roles I just discovered today? Note that functionally they are the same, but I’d be working with and supporting different internal clients. I am well qualified for the job/s but don’t want the multiple submissions to have a negative impact on my landing any one of them as they are all under one organization. I’m editing my resume and cover letter for each job so the application materials aren’t generic.

    Your advice is appreciated!

    1. I think that as long as you are qualified for all of them, then it would be fine because it’s a larger company. Many large firms have “silos” so that personnel in one division don’t interact much with their functional equivalents in other areas and/or the recruiters for the positions may be different. For example, Microsoft may have a Business Analyst postion in each of the following divisions: Windows, Bing, Visual Studio and LiveSearch. While the function and requirements are the same, the hiring processes are separate.

      The answer would be different if it were a smaller firm.

      Good luck!

      1. Thanks – Yes, they are growing this particular organization within the company hence the multiple job openings. I’ve done some research and it’s a relatively large and global group.

    2. I think you should apply separately for every position in which you are interested. They invited you to do it that way by posting them individually. The alternative would have been to do one posting and note “14 positions will be filled from this posting.” Less work for you that way, but if they are really different practice areas, this gives you an oppty to customize your resume with the keywords to get you through the electronic screening mechanism.

  2. I am a bit confused about this being a trend — I have been wearing (and seeing) maxi dresses for about 5 years now. I love them — no worrying about your legs being winter pale, you can throw them on over anything, and while a lot of people seem to think they can be unflattering on anyone who’s not tall, I am 5’4 and love the look. That said, I had one “maxi dress” from Old Navy (not this one, obvi) and 2 thoughts: 1) they are super-duper long, and 2) the material was a very cheapish feeling jersey that did not breath at all. I wore it once on a hot day and it went into the donation pile after that, no point wearing something that makes you feel hotter than you need to.

    But l.o.v.e. maxi dresses and skirts! No worrying about perfectly shaved legs = happy AIMS!

    1. I agree — they have been “everywhere” for awhile now, although I did just get my first maxi dress this year. Picked up this one from J.Crew — because it was the first one I found that didn’t have a super deep V. Head’s up on the length, though – I suspect it went to the sale section quickly because it is the PERFECT length on me for flats, and I am only 5’4. I got an XS (I vary between XS and S) and I can’t wait to wear it :)

      http://www.jcrew.com/womens_feature/catalogjcrewcomexclusives/dresses/PRDOVR~35702/99102246016/ENE~1+2+3+22+4294967294+20~~P_saleprice%7C0~20+17+4294967097~90~~~~~~~/35702.jsp

    2. Have you found any that aren’t just ridiculously low-cut? They all seem to be way to v-neck for me. I don’t want to put a cami under it, since part of the point is the “free” flowy feeling…. maybe that’s why they’re so low-cut :) Either way, any suggestions for slightly higher necklines?

      1. try eshakti.com. They have an entire maxi dress section. A lot of their stuff is too, um, something for my tastes, but they do have some that look very wearable, and you can basically customize any of their clothing items for not that much, so you could change the neckline.

          1. I’ve only purchased one thing and I didn’t like it. Unfortunately I missed the return window. I thought the skirt I bought was a simple a-line, but there was a weird ruffle on the back.

          2. I’ve ordered several items from them and have been very happy with quality and with customer service.

        2. Thank you so much, this company looks like it makes things specifically with me in mind.

        3. woah, that website looks freakin awesome. between this and kate spade’s friends and family here goes this months entire paycheck.

      3. I have a different issue. My maxi is a vintage 70s one with wide tank top type straps and a swirly pattern in blues. Lovely except I think it may be too ‘formal’ . Not sure how to work it for the weekend. I love it and look good in it but it’s not strappy or whatever. What would you ladies do?

        2. Get some flat leather sandals, a boho-ish bag, let your hair down or made put it in a loose braid, you should start to look nice and casual in no time.

  3. I bought a Tahari shell over a year ago because I loved it. Black with large orchids on the top (can’t find a link because it is so old), but I couldn’t figure out how to style it, so it sat in my closet mocking me until today. I paired it with a black pencil skirt and a oatmeal sweater that I found last night (also Tahari). I am so happy. This outfit will be my new obsession.

    I also need some recommendations for good black cardigans. I am willing to pay for a good quality sweater that will fit well (preferably petite) and last. Everything I have found to-date fades quickly or becomes pilly. I’m guessing you guys will have good suggestions. Thanks!

    1. I actually love the stretchy Zara cardigans. Not sure what they’re made with, but they’re inexpensive, can go in the washing machine (not dryer), and retain their shape and color.

      1. I, too, would like some cardi recommendations. Mine seem to lose shape after just a few washings. I’ll check Zara. Any others? I have a wool one from BR that has held up, but I don’t think they make that quality any more. And can’t really wear wool in the summer (maybe in my office when the AC is on full).

      2. The quality of Zara US is much lower than in Spain, except maybe in the Woman line. That said, I’ve notice the quality in major stores like Manhattan/Chicago is better than smaller markets. Many many years ago, when I worked in retail, the first run of an item was always better quality, as additional runs came in, the quality dropped. That is probably the case with Zara and H&M.

    2. Talbots; has a petite section and full size sweaters are 25% off right now. http://www.talbots.com/online/browse/product_details.jsp?id=prdi26122&rootCategory=cat70010&catId=cat110042&sortKey=Default&section=Regular&conceptIdUnderSale=cat70010

      Or the ever present Jackie or Jenna cardigan from J. Crew.
      Jackie: http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/sweaters/cardigans/PRDOVR~29350/29350.jsp
      Jenna: http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/sweaters/cardigans/PRDOVR~24712/24712.jsp

      All three are classics. A saleswoman at a higher-end boutique store actually recommended the J. Crew Jackie cardigan to me when her store didn’t have what I was looking for.

      1. And if you want bright colored ones, you can’t go wrong with Lilly Pulitizer. Think green, pink, yellow, blue.

      2. My gray cotton cardigan from Talbots looks the same today as when I bought it two years ago. I paid full price, which is a lot for me, but it was so worth it.

      3. Second AL’s Talbots suggestion. I purchased a couple of 3/4 length cardigans from Talbots a couple of years ago, and they still look great after wearing and washing. And the petite section of the store is great. (Thanks, AL, for the sales tip too!) Around the same time, I also bought a couple of bright-colored ones from Target, and they pilled after one washing. Bridget, you are smart to invest a little more for quality!

        1. I really love my ann taylor ones, to be honest. they last longer than banana and I haven’t experienced any shrinking

          1. I have 2 ann taylor cardigans I bought just this fall that are already pilling and fading after less than ten wearings and being laid flat to dry. Very annoying!

    4. I had surprisingly good luck with a Halogen cardigan from Nordstrom. I got it on super sale after Christmas. I’m not sure it is natural fiber, which I would ordinarily balk at in a cardigan, but it was only about $10 and the perfect color, so I doubt I even looked. I have been thrilled with it after several washings with hanging dry – good fit, no pilling, no fading. I’d pay much more for it now.

    5. I also have two Zara ones I like. I think they’re cotton/spandex blends? Several years old, and still in great shape despite some rough treatment. I’ve also found a few great ones at Nordstrom Rack lately- the brand is Shae, cotton/cashmere blends for under $40. For winter, you might want to check out (embarrassingly) Victoria’s Secret. Their stuff can be hit-or-miss, but I have a few woolen things from them I LOVE. In particular, their ribbed wool shirts and cardigans have lasted for 3-4 years with minimal wear and no pilling.

      1. HATE zara cardis, they are crap quality and it shows.

        My friend bought me a black merino cardigan from Brooks Bros. as a Christmas present and there’s no going back for me now. I also have a couple of silk-cotton cardigans from BB which coe in black too – albeit in white tippings – very nice for summer :)

  4. Well, I have a weekend of misery ahead of me. I somehow caught poison oak and I am highly allergic. It spread like wildfire in a matter of about two days. I started a 4 mg prednisone tapering dose last night, but I look awful since it’s on my jaw, cheek, both ears, nose, hand, side and legs. And the steriods will cause all kinds of lovely side effects. And my brother is getting married tomorrow. Oh boy.

    Any suggestions on make up that will cover this mess up? Or do you have links to truly gorgeous handbags I can ogle over to distract myself?

    1. Oh, agony! Sometimes trying to cover too much (unless you have some dermablend, maybe?) often ends up looking worse. Laugh at yourself and tell everyone about it :) And have fun! (And if there is any way to use posing to your advantage in the pictures…)

      1. I would agree with this. I think if it was me, as awful as I would feel I might not even try to cover it up with makeup. So sorry about this! I would focus on what a great day it is, and maybe an hour into the wedding you might even forget about it.

    2. no suggestions re: allergic reactions, but I know a lot about fancy handbags! Check out bagsnob.com (and its sister sites, shoesnob.com and couturesnob.com) for some very enjoyable eye candy.

      1. bagsnob dot com is not nearly as good as it used to be when it was just Tina and Kelly. Most of the bags are pretty pedestrian now…. Used to be an awesome blog, though….

    3. I am so sorry. I had a terrible allergic reaction to something I ate a few years ago and had to get steroid shots 2 days in a row – the hives/ rash were gone in 48 hours and I was finally able to get some sleep but it was horrible. I’d suggest full coverage makeup and body coverup/ concealer – go to a dept store and get the kind of coverup/ foundation that’s made for people with visibly noticeable skin conditions. If you’re not itching anymore, you may be able to apply some kind of cooling cream that reduces the puffiness and redness prior to applying the concealer/ foundation.

    5. Honestly, I think in this case the best thing you can do is act super-confident. Smile widely and don’t apologize for your appearance!

      1. Agree with MHU and Alex. I think sometimes, if it’s not the right kind of makeup, it looks pasty and can even draw attention to it. Perhaps joke that “I promise! It’s not an allergic reaction to the bride!” or “heck no, I’m not gonna let him be the center of attention even if I had to go roll in poison oak!” I’m certainly not trying to mock your situation – I truly feel for you and your agony of probably wanting to scratch your head off from itching and burning – but I think you can still be your fabulous self. I hope you aren’t in pain tomorrow and can have fun. Let us know how it goes, please!

    6. Rubbing Benadryl cream or gel on your skin (as opposed to the oral Benadryl) will help diminish the itchiness. I’ve no suggestions for how to actually cover it up, though.

    8. 1. take tons of benadryl to make your reponse decrease.

      2. cover fx works well as a super uber cover up.

    9. So sorry! I’ve had a terrible, prednisone-worthy allergic reaction rash that made me more uncomfortable than I’ve ever been (from adhesive from physical therapy tape — I’d torn my calf muscle). It was ALL over my leg. I didn’t want ANYTHING touching my rash. If it had been on my face, I don’t think I’d have been able to put make-up on it. I wouldn’t worry about covering it up. Just smile, make light of it in conversation, and have as good a time as you can.

      1. This. I would suggest checking with your dr (allergist? derm?) before putting any makeup on so as not to make it worse. My husband got poison something-or-another, NOT ivy possibly oak, and had to leave the rash uncovered to air.

    10. Thanks, everyone! I actually woke up yesterday morning and all of the swelling around the areas had gone down over night. The spots were still red, but they didn’t itch nearly as much and were smooth. Wow! These meds are amazing. So far, no terrible side effects either. Thank you, Doctor!

      1. That’s great to hear! I just realized yesterday after googling that the itchy blistery redness that has been on my arm for the past several days is likely a delayed poison ivy reaction. I’ve been trying to just deal with it, but will schedule a dr. appt tomorrow!

      2. Prednisone is an amazing drug! But its side effects are no joke. Be very careful with your taper, don’t go off too quickly, even if the poison oak is gone.

        Glad you’re feeling better!

  5. Weekend VENT- so annoyed and frustrated with life today. Had a career counseling session and was told that I need to figure out what I want to do because my work history is all over the place. Well I don’t know what I want to do! I keep hearing that I need to find what I care about and what I’m passionate about, and I can’t think of anything within the law that makes me feel that way. What’s worse, I can’t just trash my (expensive) law degree and do what I did after college. I’d be letting down too many people, as well as myself because I have really high standards and expectations of myself, and I feel it’s important for me to at least TRY something before I quit.

    Everyone in my field is so excited and invested and interested in the work, and I’m so not. Every conference, every briefing, every meeting, everything is just utterly boring (and feels useless) to me.

    2. What type of exploration have you done…books – like the ubiquitous “What Color is Your Parachute” which is in it’s billionth printing? (I first read it in 1980.) Have you done any career counseling or considered any sessions with an executive coach or at your law school career office?

      Depending on your city there may be an exploratory class that you could take. In Seattle there is one called Passion Search, through the Centerpoint Institute. http://www1.cpinst.org/ Friends who’ve done this are really pleased. Check also at local community colleges for classes.

      It’s hard to find a “passion” when you’re eagerly searching for it, but you could also start with imagining your perfect life and then build it backwards to career. For some (like Kat) transitioning to an entrepreneurial career might be the thing, whereas others might want to step back to a less-demanding career for the chance to travel.

      Best of luck to you!

      1. Agree with What Color Is Your Parachute and would add doing a Myers-Briggs test to learn more about your personality and the types of work you might enjoy best.

        1. Second the Strong Interest Inventory and also the Myers-Briggs (INTJ here). Some college career centers adminster these for a small fee.

      2. I would also recommend the Strong Interest Inventory which is a comparative assessment that shows which types of jobs people with similar interests/characteristics to you enjoy. I recently took one through my undergrad career services.

    3. Don’t beat yourself up about it, sometimes it just takes some time to find the right fit. I have a friend who got out of law school and tried out about 10 different areas of law in 7 different offices of the firm! It just took a while for him to find the area that he really liked (granted, he is a bit of a golden boy, most of us wouldn’t be given so much leeway – but I think part of the reason that he was is that he gives 150% to everything he does, so everyone loved working with him). He ended up taking a hit of a couple years’ seniority, but he didn’t really care about that and now is in a field that he enjoys and is doing really well in. Keep looking around and see what you like! You may end up on a delayed path to partnership, but making partner isn’t the only reason you’re a lawyer.

    4. Don’t worry about letting down “too many people” by getting out of law, just worry about yourself! The people who care about you will support you in whatever you do. If you can find a way to combine law with what you did after college (presuming you liked it) then that would be great, but otherwise if its truly making you miserable you are better off doing something else that you like than sticking with law just because you have the degree.

      1. I so agree. We don’t owe anyone a particular career outcome but ourselves!!
        Why is the notion that we owe others the very direction of our lives so common among women?
        On a practical note, some in the career field have pointed out that work lives are NOT the perfect linear trajectory everyone assumes they are, and neither should we feel that they *ought* to be. I suggest taking a look at Katharine Brooks’ You Majored in What?

    5. Don’t give that assessment more credibility than it deserves. Some people are lucky, and they figure out what they want to do and then they go do it, and they stay in the same field forever, working for the same company sometimes for decades. One of my close friends from high school is like this – she knew in college she wanted to work in hospitality and tourism, she went to school for that, and has worked for a big hotel corporation in various jobs ever since. More commonly, I see people who have had to try a few different things before they “settled down.” I have a friend who was an actress and a model, then became an aesthetician, and is now in PR. Another friend was a massage therapist for 15 years, and then went back to school, got an MBA, and runs a nonprofit. I find it interesting, sometimes, that nowadays we do not expect people to choose their romantic/life partner much before 30 but we expect 18-year-olds to know what career they want for the rest of their lives, go to school for that, and then work in that field from college graduation on. What if you start out doing something and then get interested in something else? (that’s what happened to me about 5 years ago) I think there should be some leeway for exploring ideas and interests. It’s your only life, don’t get stuck doing something you hate. Feeling that everything is “utterly boring and useless” is not a path to happiness.

    6. I think I know how you feel. No answers here, but lots of sympathy. I’ve realized that while I am good at it, I have no natural affinity for the law. But I’ve worked so hard and long at this that I’ve obliterated my other interests. I’m about to burn out though, so I’ve got to figure out something else as well.

    7. Guess what? A lot of people aren’t ever going to find a career they’re passionate about. I think this idea that we somehow must keep looking until we find “the one” is pressure that makes work harder and more misery-inducing than it should be. I tried two careers before law school and found that I really did not like them. One made me incredibly stressed, so much so that I pretty much would have stayed at home doing nothing during my free time. The other was not much better. I think in the United States, we have a live to work mentality. There is nothing wrong with working to live and enjoy other activities! This idea is much more common elsewhere.

      Now, while I don’t share the passion or excitement of a lot of my coworkers and am envious, at least I find the job interesting and like the working environment. I’m trying to focus on activities outside of work I can really get into, and I find that it makes me time at work more enjoyable.

    8. Try to remember why you went to law school. What were you hoping to gain from it? That could point you in a better direction as long as it wasn’t to please your parents or that your didn’t know what else you wanted to do.

  6. I’m a new attorney without a permanent job. I’m doing temp work to help pay the bills and I start a new longer-term assignment on Monday. I’m going to be a legal assistant three days a week at a fantastic company. This company is one that I would absolutely love to work for as an attorney. I’m not sure what the chances of getting a permanent position with the company at all, let alone switching from a legal assistant role to attorney, but I’d like to make the best impression I can. I’m hoping if I can do this that I would be positively thought of in case a position opens. Does anyone have any general advice on how to make the best impression possible in a situation like this?

    1. realize that as a brand new attorney, you have very little skills-wise to bring to the table. so focus on the things you can add:

      – always be positive.
      – be enthusiastic and appear interested in all aspects of a project.
      – ask questions. bonus if they are thoughtful and not of the “when do you expect this by?” ilk.
      – show up prepared (bring a pen and a pad of paper everywhere).
      – be friendly.
      – proofread work 100 times to make sure there are no typos.
      – follow up when applicable. If you hand in written work, follow-up in a week or two to see how it was received (this is my mantra: I am not expected to hand in things that are perfect. I will settle for things that are useful). If someone mentions something about a project and then never talks to you again, ask them about it.
      – expect that you will do grunt/boring/tedious work. do not ever appear resentful of this.

      I am interested in what other people think of the legal-assistant-to-attorney path. My gut reaction is that this rarely happens for various reasons but maybe other people have different experiences?

    2. You go! I transitioned from legal secretary to attorney, though it’s a little different as I worked for the firm while I was in law school and then the firm hired me as an attorney after the Bar. I agree with found a peanut’s advice and her overall theme – be positive. I’ve practiced a few years now, and it took me about a month at my new firm to spot which staff members cared about perfecting their work (asking questions, appearing interested in our work and the ins and outs) and those who cared only about keeping their jobs. As a legal secretary, I kept a notepad on my desk by my computer and when I would come across a question I had, I’d write it down. I didn’t fire it off in an e-mail immediately (though you might wish to do that if you are working on a time-sensitive project). I think it shows you are interested in learning not just the whats but the whys and hows. I wish you good luck!

    3. Dress like an attorney and be a self-starter. Take initiative and where you can show them that you are capable of performing above the level expected from a legal assistant. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you see what you believe to be a mistake or something that could use improvement. Ask substantive questions and offer, if the opportunity presents itself, to perform lawyer tasks (“I could quickly research that issue for you if you would like.”).

      1. I think you should be very wary of performing attorney tasks as a legal assistant. There could be ethical complications, not to mention the danger that you could end up trapped in a lower paying job than you deserve because people will pigeon-hole you. I assume you are a member of your state’s bar and therefore you have to follow your state’s ethical rules. I think you should think very carefully before getting yourself into a position where you are paid as a “legal assistant” but where you volunteer to perform attorney work (and where you actually are a licensed attorney). This is different from a paralegal who does almost anything an attorney does but is not licensed and is not ultimately responsible to the client or to the bar. I hope this makes sense. I just foresee ethical issues in being licensed attorney but being forced to work as a paralegal/LA due to the crummy economy. I think you should make it very clear to your employer that you will not be acting as an attorney at this job, and that you will not be signing pleadings, advising clients directly, or making court appearances. They have to hire you as an attorney to get that. I would also suggest contacting the ethics person at your state bar for some guidance on how the ethics rules govern someone who is licensed but is not working as a licensed attorney.

        1. This. Also, you might not be covered under the Firm’s malpractice insurance (assuming it’s a firm). And there would be all the issues about how to bill the time (again, assuming it’s a firm).

    4. My mom went from temporary legal secretary (covering someone’s maternity leave) to VP of corporate legal affairs over the course of many years in a large corporation (as a single parent, BTW). I think its a difficult transition, because while you want to be seen as supremely competent and capable to do tasks a lawyer would do, you also want to fit into the culture well enough to not seem too big for your britches.

      If you really want to transition to an attorney position, I would advise doing every job as close to perfectly as possible, asking for more responsibility when appropriate, and generally seeming like an uber secretary. When it’s time for your performance review, that would be when I would ask what you would need to do to transition to a lawyer position.

    5. Show up and actually act interested in the work. And show that you can do things like organize, use a computer, and converse like an adult. I can’t tell you how many managers at my temp placements were utterly amazed at what I considered basic competency. Even if the task seems “beneath” you (which as a temp assistant job, it probably is), do an awesome (and thorough – try to anticipate what else could be useful while doing research, etc) job and soon they will throw more stuff your way.

    6. Thanks for the advice everyone.

      Just a clarification. It is a company and not a law firm. I got the job through a temp agency, so I’m not going to be allowed to do any attorney-level work because that would change the pay level.

      I’ve taken everything you have said to heart. Any other advice?

      1. No advice, but tough economy where everyone (including lawyers) has had to dig deep and get a toehold wherever they can.. (me included!).

        1. Always try to find the answer. The legal assistants who make me crazy are the ones who always point out the problems with the production, the timing of the filing, the document review, etc. but never try to think about a good solution. Having something that you’ve thought about on how to fix any problem you bring to an attorney, particularly assuming you’ve done some homework, will help make you much more valuable to the company.

          Also, be responsive. I really dislike asking a legal assistant to do something and have it drop into a black hole. If you can just shoot back a quick email with “got it” or “sure, ok if I get it to you by 2?” or even “Happy to work on that. I’m finishing up the filing for Joe, but if it’s ok, I’ll turn to yours after that – let me know if that timing doesn’t work for you”, you will be much appreciated (and you won’t have antsy lawyers looking over your shoulder asking where the x-and-such file is.

          1. Yes! Just because you know you are finishing the work for Joe doesn’t mean other attorney knows you are doing anything for Joe. And until they can trust you and know you are on the ball, it’s great to let them know they can trust you and that you are on the ball. Truthfully, because you are asking the question of “how do I do a great job?” you are more than halfway there. Good luck!

      2. Someone said this above but it bears repeating: Do the grunt work. With a smile.

      3. I would also make it known to the people with whom you work that you are actively seeking full time, permenant work as an attorney. Not in the “I’m too good for this job” way but hopefully in a way that will lead to networking opportunities and keeping your name in their mind when your co-workers learn of open attorney positions either within your company or externally.

        After you have been there a month or so and start to feel out the office atmosphere, evaluate whether it would be appropriate to ask some of the attorneys with whom you have worked for coffee or lunch and approach it as an informational interview. You want them to keep you in mind as a new law school graduate who will be a great attorney and with whom they would be happy to work or refer to their colleagues.

  7. I love maxi dresses, but being well over 6ft tall I’ve never actually found one long enough to wear that didn’t make me look like Olive Oyl. :-)

    1. I’m over 6′ as well – try Tart. I got a one-shoulder maxi dress from them off Gilt and it actually sweeps the floor.

      1. I got one from Ravon via Ideeli that is super-long. Also, this Old Navy one has a “Tall” option.

    2. Get the old navy one! As I complained above, their dresses are super long (makes a cheap dress expensive for me to tailor to my 5’4 self) and will probably do just the trick, esp. if you get the ‘tall’ size.

      Also look into Michael Stars. I have a MS maxi dress and need to hack off a good 6 inches to make it work for me.

    4. Rachel Pally!! Her long caftan dresses are floor length. I also have one from Missoni that is vintage and perfect, but scoring that one was a total fluke. Eshakti, as others have suggested, works wonderfully.

        1. I’m curious where you buy work clothes. I’m 6′ tall with long arms and legs and always looking for new places to find clothes that will actually fit.

          1. I’m not one for pants, so I can’t help you there. I’m also a “short rectangle,” so my arms (thankfully) are not quite as long as my legs. I’ve had great luck with Pendleton suits. My M.O. for daily office wear is skirt (1″ above my knees is permissible for me, I can’t stress about skirt lengths that much) with cute blouse and cardigan, or a dress. I’ve embraced the bracelet sleeve, and wear a nice watch to make it seem purposeful, not adaptive :) Hope that helps!

  8. Hi all, advice please! I am in a serious relationship — we are both attorneys (bf in biglaw, while I work in a semi-legal job that I really like) in NYC. One of my clients, my dream company, said on a conference call that they are going to create a position to help them with their in-house needs. The job would be a GREAT one for me and my resume and I feel like I can somehow finagle a way for them to consider me for this role. The main problem is that this dream co. is in DC. Of course I haven’t even approached them about this yet, but I feel like I need to give some serious thought before doing so for two reasons:
    1) The bf, who has discussed marriage with me, wants to transfer to FL within a year or so, depending on whether I agree and based on my timing.
    2) I don’t want to pursue the client and inquire about being considered for this role and have them go out on a limb only for me to then change my mind and decide I want to move to FL with the bf or stay in NYC.

    So, my questions are: 1) Should I bother even approaching this client about the new role if I am giving serious thought to relocating with my bf? Or even if he stays in NY I would have to move to DC which still would make it long-distance, and
    2) If I do decide to pursue this role in DC, how do I go about approaching them about this potential role they might create? And would I have to do it somehow “off the record”? There are no conflict issues, so no worries about that.

    Thanks and sorry if I didn’t make much sense!

    1. This is your dream company. I say go for it. How good is this opportunity for your bf in FL? Is it his dream company? Would he consider going to DC instead?

    2. to respond to #1 – i think you should absolutely pursue the position, even if you are unsure of your future feelings on relocation or your bf’s relocation situation. if it is a dream job, i think that these uncertainties shouldn’t keep you from at least trying for it and then making the most informed choice possible (is it better to have the dream job in dc and make a long distance relationship work? or is it better to move for the relationship and look for a new job in FL?). i don’t know if you can make that decision based on hypotheticals.

      and fwiw, ny and dc are not that far apart!

    3. Just to clarify, bf would be transferring offices within his firm for family reasons. I love the idea of living in FL but not sure how jobs will work out (though I am somewhat optimistic since I am in an in-demand field and have clients there too), whereas I love the idea of working for this particular company in DC though no particular pull towards moving/living there.

      1. haha, oops just gave myself away there! appreciate the corporettes’ advice always! =)

    5. As someone who decided where to go to a second choice law school, in part, based on a BF’s location, only to suffer a surprise break-up a month before school started, I think you should certainly pursue the job if this is your dream job. I’m not, of course, against ultimately making decisions based on a serious BF you expect to marry. You have to take risks and balance personal life and professional life. But I think you should make the decision real (as in “I have the job, now what”) rather than all based on speculation. It will help you and your BF have a real discussion about the consequences of any decision you make so you don’t resent him for narrowing your opportunities.

  9. Any other federal employees seemingly on their way to a furlough? I really dislike the uncertainty about the whole process (stability is a major reason that I decided to leave private practice and go to the government). However, I am primarily just feeling sad. I really believe in the work that I do and I am bummed that I will not get to do it for some length of time. Just looking to commiserate.

    1. Yep. We all just got our informal notice. Its strange not knowing how long it could be.

      1. Fortunately, I’m considered essential staff – but my thoughts go out to everyone getting furloughed! It’s going to be a mess.

        1. Same, but I’m wondering how much work I will be able to do without the essential staff.

    3. What does the notice look like? I’m supposed to start a government job soon and I’m wondering what my future colleagues have been told etc.

    4. Oh, sister. I feel you. We were initially told yesterday that my agency had shaken the couch cushions and found enough money to keep my (relatively small) office open one more week (we’re NOT excepted, so this was extra exciting). Today, I got to work to find an e-mail clarifying that we’re only funded through *Wednesday.* My husband is a Fed too, as are many of my co-workers’ spouses, so it’s extra frustrating/nerve-wracking. But I also hear you about being sad, too — I really like my job and think it’s important! Fingers crossed for all of us that this madness ends soon.

    5. I’m going to be furloughed. My office has a limited number of attorneys and staff they can designate as “essential” in any given day we are in shutdown, and it is just enough to allow people to attend scheduled hearings and prepare for trials. I just changed offices last week, so I only have a handful of cases right now and no imminent deadlines or court appearances and am designated as “non-essential.” I also don’t like the uncertainty of how long this will take place, but I think the only thing we can do is try to make the most of it. Each time there has been a shutdown in the past, all the essential and furloughed employees got paid retroactively.

    6. Me too. I’m trying to be positive, because I could afford a few days off (and I’m going to be optimistic about getting paid back even though I’m nonessential). I also don’t think any shutdown would last too long (say maybe a week), although I have no real basis for thinking this. I think the uncertainty of not knowing IF there will be a shutdown and if so, how long it will last, is what’s really getting people down.

      And I’ve been randomly looking at various websites all afternoon to try to figure out what’s going on! Not helpful for the productivity, that’s for sure.

    8. Me too. While my team’s clients are all internal, the majority of the employees at my consulting firm work on government projects. To offset what the firm will lose from those employees who will not be able to work, we have to stay home too. Booooo!

      1. We got designated as essential, but only for 2 weeks, after that it may be more selective. Is it bad that I was hoping for a furlough vacation though?

      1. I know! I thought of everyone here when I heard the news. For those of you worrying about paychecks, I bet this will make your weekend more relaxing.

        And glad Planned Parenthood didn’t get the axe as part of a deal.

    1. Gorgeous. One of my favorite colors. How does the sizing work? I have never purchased from them. Thanks for sharing!

      1. sizing is super-vanity. I am normally a size 6/8 and I bought a 2 in a Lafayette dress.

        1. Interesting. This is final sale (can’t be exchanged or returned), so now I am torn. In normal stores, I am an 8 reg or a 10P, but I will need to give this some thought. Thanks for the info!

        2. LF 148 is pretty vanity sized, but also random. I have size zero jacket that fits (wtf?) and size 6 pants that fit… :-/

  11. Thanks for everyone that provide advice yesterday in response to my maternity clothes shopping in DC question.

  12. Just need to take a moment to vent….

    My journal is having an event and our current EIC is an abrasive women who has rubbed the much of the staff the wrong way. Everyone got a condecsending email last night instructing junior staff to dress business formal. Lo and behold she shows up without hose, gapping button up and messy hair! What a great representative for the rest of us.

    Ok, thanks corporettes – that’s better.

  13. Threadjack: While I do not work for the federal government, I am getting a non-paid furlough. My boss told me today wants me to take a couple of weeks off without pay. He says I still am covered for benefits, but I am worried that maybe there is not enough work for me in the long run. Should I start looking for a job. If he finds out I am looking for a job, I am afraid he will let me go. What should I do? Nothing and risk less, or look for a job and maybe get fired for doing so? This is really sucky.

    2. I would think you are perfectly in your rights to ask WHY he wants you to take a few weeks unpaid. And don’t just take his word on the benefits, talk to HR asap. When I went on maternity leave, I was still responsible for all of the contributions to my benefits, which meant negotiating how I would pay when it couldn’t be withheld from my paycheck.

  14. Need to vent.

    I have been asking my boss to bring me in more on bigger matters after being at this firm for three years. She refuses pretty much. I honestly think she is worried that then she won’t be as essential and will lose out on fees. At my last review, the partners complained to her that I do not do that area of law and they would want me to and she apparently tried to dissuade them.

    This is pretty frustrating to me. Why not teach and share and grow associates? I’m pretty sure this is hurting me as far as salary raises also.

    Anyway, just venting. SIGH!

    1. Especially frustrating when said senior people then complain about how “lazy” and such junior lawyers are now. Or worse yet, they refuse to give you work, but they DO give you shit about your hours.

      Mini-vent over.

  15. Lands End Canvas is having an awesome spring sale, with free shipping on all orders when you use SPRINGFS with the pin 5236.

    I picked up a blue gingham buttondown shirt, sadly the watermelon was sold out in almost all sizes.

  16. Has anyone noticed that oil closed above $113 this afternoon? This is exactly like the run-up in 2008, almost to the day. There are economists that think the oil spike caused the recession (rather than the other way around). Sure will be interesting to see what happens with Libya/govt shutdown/commodities.

    1. Yes, whenever oil prices go up there’s also a surge of job postings in Alberta (oil sands). UBS has job ads for financial advisers for high net-worth clients in Calgary.

  17. You know how everyone always says that if you hate a friend’s significant other, it’s almost always best to keep it to yourself? I have a variation on this topic & am looking for advice: what do you do if you can tell that your friends dislike your significant other, despite their kind attempts to hide it?

    I am approaching the Is This the One? crossroads with my boyfriend of 2+ years. I have my own questions and doubts about our future, but I am a questioning, doubtful person in general, so that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Two of my best friends (who barely know each other, making this all the more troubling — no groupthink/ganging up going on here) get along perfectly well with him and have never said anything directly, but I can tell that they each think that I am settling. It isn’t a case of him being a terrible guy or my friends knowing some dark secret about him or anything, my perception is just that they each, individually, think he isn’t good enough for me. He is kind and loving, but we have very different interests, and I think that they may think he’s just too boring/unchallenging to make me happy forever. My family and several other of my dear friends adore him, but the two I’m worried about know me better than probably anyone. And just to be clear, this is definitely not a case of jealousy or anything else at play — I am sure that any negative thoughts are coming from a place of genuine love and concern for me. I guess my real question is, how much weight would you give this, and is it a bad idea to raise the topic with my friends?

    1. If your friends’ issue is *really* that they worry your bf is “boring/unchallenging,” then the key issue is really whether you agree. But since you haven’t talked to your friends directly, then there may be other (or additional) issues. If this is really bugging you–which it seems to be–just ask them each directly what they think. True friends, when asked directly, will let you know what their concerns are, if any.

      1. You should also consider how similar you are to your two friends in terms of what you want out of relationships. Not everyone wants to be “challenged” in a relationship, but for some people, that element of a relationship is essential. You shouldn’t feel an obligation to be “challenged” if that’s not really high on your priority list! Having someone who is supportive can be equally valuable. Just my two cents. :)

    2. Very honestly, I was so in love with my husband when we got engaged that even if my friends had outright said to me, “I think he’s ugly, he dresses funny, and he’s as boring as C-SPAN,” I wouldn’t have cared. Because he was none of those things to me. I found him handsome, stylish and and fascinating, and still do.

      I guess my real question is, how strongly do you feel about this man, if what two of your friends think about him is more important to you than how you feel about him?

  18. I just returned from a deposition where opposing counsel said to me about a scheduling matter, “Are you sure about that, honey?” He also kept saying how it was his “girl” who had failed to send us a document.
    This man was probably no more that 40, 45. I had no idea that generation could still produce cave men!
    I was gratified to see that the witness, co-defendant’s counsel (both men), and the court reporter were all appalled, though.

    1. im a 32 yro female started first attorney job last fall…our office manager (a woman) told me that my “girl” would bring me my mail. Then they asked me if I wanted to dictate stuff.

      Yeah. No and no. Lovely office though.

      1. A lot of attorneys in my office still dictate – is it that weird? I am actually starting to do it myself, because I can’t use a computer when I’m having a migraine.

        1. Almost all of the attorneys in my office dictate. I don’t, because it’s just faster for my to type things myself than to record myself saying everything three times over till I get it right, but it’s really common, even among the newer associates.

    2. I think adding “honey” is a deliberate attempt to belittle you. If it happens again you might reply something like “Yes, I’m sure, snookums.”

    3. I really don’t understand being appalled if you don’t say anything. Just a simple, “oh, my name is AEK thanks” in a calm voice will usually do the trick, instead of letting all the other men being appalled for you.

      1. Um, I didn’t “let” the other men be appalled FOR me (but thank you for your supportive and charitable interpretation). I was just pleased that they were was as taken aback as I was. And my response was “Excuse me?” (loudly). Not entirely original, but he knew I heard him and that I was not pleased.

        1. Um, I didn’t “let” the other men be appalled FOR me (but thank you for your supportive and charitable interpretation). I was just pleased that they were was as taken aback as I was. And my response was “Excuse me?” (loudly). Not entirely original, but he knew I heard him and that I was not pleased.

    4. Try to get it on the record next time. I always manage to attach those pages, or the ones with opposing counsel’s use of profanity, to my briefs.

    5. I was recently taking a deposition and out of 5 attorneys in attendance I was the only female. Before the deposition began, I was sitting in the conference room near the doorway with my laptop open, typing away on some email. The oldest of the male attorneys walked in, handed me his business card and asked me if he could get a copy of the transcript at the end. He assumed I was the court reporter.

      (Not knocking court reporters at all BTW, that is one tough job. It was just so rude that he didn’t even think I could possibly have been an attorney, or bother to find out.)

      It gets better. The case involved a personal injury and some of the pictures were pretty graphic. When the same aforementioned attorney was handing out copies of the pictures, he asked me if they would upset me.

      To his credit, he apologized profusely about the whole mistaking me for the court reporter thing. I don’t think he saw anything wrong with his question re the pictures, however.

      1. This sounds like a tactic to me! He’s trying to make you feel like he looks down on you. Please, for the sake of other women out there, do not give him the satisfaction! Pipe right in, “I can take it” or “litigation’s never been for the faint of heart.” All he’s trying to do is throw you off your game, and you won’t let him!

      2. Had nearly the same thing happen re: court reporter except he didn’t ask for a transcript, just passed card to me in a “this is how to identify me” way not an actual introduction. I pulled out my card and passed it back across the table to him. He looked embarrased and has behaved well since then.

    6. Someone a month or so ago described her boss as “commuting to work every day via time machine.” I think that’s the perfect description for people like this.

      2. Yes – so funny! and I’m curious how the situation (having to deal with someone flushing feminine products) turned out — I feel like it was someone with an “M” – Midori maybe?

    7. I had a ~colleague~ call me “young lady” (I’m 30) in a condescending manner and ask me if I was a paralegal yesterday. Rage!

      1. Heh. I am a college professor and have been mistaken for an undergraduate (really not warrented!) and for the “department secretary” – which is a position that doesn’t exist. Depending on who has made the mistake and how they have treated me, I correct them gently or coldly. It’s interesting to note how differently some people act to people whom they perceive to have or lack status.

        1. I was mistaken for a student yesterday when I was in the mailroom (I’m an adjunct at a local law school). Fortunately, the person making the mistake was trying to be helpful (thought I was looking for a professor’s mailbox, which I was…my own).

        2. Ha! Me too. Ever since then, I make sure to wear heels, and to stay out of the copy room. Apparently, that’s what separates students from fac. I still get called “Proffy” by one of the administrative assistants, despite assuring him repeatedly that my name is “Prof.”

      2. Anonymousity – I have a particular person at work who is CONSTANTLY referring to my youth (I’m also 30ish), and doling out avuncular advice as if I were fresh out of school. Frustrating, and I doubt it will stop until I begin showing some deeper wrinkles. However, I also don’t think he’d do the same to a male my age.

      3. When men call me young lady, I say thank you old man. It usually stops it from happening again. By the way I am over 40.

        1. I think it’s some sort of odd compliment as men of a certain age don’t know how to say you look nice (implied – for your age) without being wolf-ish. Maybe it’s a “southern thing” as well. I tned to ignore the “young lady” unless it’s repetitively used.

    9. I had a horrible opposing counsel call me honey in a condescending tone for an entire deposition. I finally told him, my name is not honey. He said it was a southern thing (he practiced in KY), but he was from Cleveland (had only been in KY for 5-10 years)! And clearly being intentionally condescending.

  19. Just a thought on maxi dresses – I bought one very similar to this from Old Navy last summer (on the sale rack, for $6.97). It fits great, feels great, looks great – the only problem is I bought it in black, and I can’t shake the feeling that I am REALLY dressed up whenever I wear it, just because it is floor length, and, well, black. I try to tone it down with casual flat sandals… any other suggestions?

    Also, I saw a beautiful printed silk maxi dress in BR yesterday. I am hoping I get a summer wedding invite soon so I can have an excuse to buy it.

    3. I bought a black maxi dress at Kmart at the end of last summer…also for less than $10 (and I adore it). You’re right, the combo of black and floor length do feel more formal, but I (hope!) I made it more casual by wearing it with 1. tan leather sandals 2. layered long necklaces in gold and brown/black wooden beads and 3. a brown raffia hobo with a black leather strap.

      1. Huh! When I referenced K * Mart in my reply above, a link was automatically inserted. Don’t want anyone to think I’m shilling for them! :)

    1. Halogen is Nordstrom based brand — so only available at Nordstrom, Nordstrom Rack and ebay/consignment

  21. On maxis: my take is YES to skirts, but NO to dresses. You can do a lot with skirts (I have 3 black ones, a dusty blue, a gray pinstripe, and a fab one that’s black with a fiery Asian print), but the dresses can be limiting I think.

    Maybe it’s just me, ’cause the tops on these dresses are way too skimpy for me to wear them as-is, and they just look like beach coverups (or evening gowns).

    1. What do you wear with them? I found a gorgeous pink one at Anthropologie, but couldn’t figure out what to pair with it, though I’m still thinking of it and really want it! It’s this one: http://tinyurl.com/3kucz4b

  22. Those dresses are super comfy. They’re loose and breezy and roomy around the middle, so you never feel self conscious about your stomach not being perfectly flat.

  23. My umbrella succumbed to the winds of Chicago this morning (at the beginning of my commute, which was really lovely) so I’m on the hunt for a new one. Does anyone have an umbrella recommendation? The last one I had was the perfect purse/coat pocket size and I’m hoping to find something similar.

    2. The GustBuster Metro is a little bigger than most collapsible umbrellas, but it will not reverse and I think it has a lifetime warranty. They wind-tunnel tested it at 55 mph.

      I’ve had mine for 8+ years. I bought it on Amazon after having my third cheapo umbrella turn inside out in one rainy week. It’s around $30, which is steep for an umbrella, but it helps because you won’t want to forget it somewhere.

    1. I’ve got the iPad 2, wi-fi only (no data place). Depends on what you want it for. You have to take it for what it is – a high powered gaming device with access to email and internet. Typing using “regular” stance on a keyboard is difficult; I find myself pecking with one finger. If you’re looking for a smaller, portable laptop-type device, then go for a netbook. But love the iPad as I can put it in my purse and pull it out for short bursts of time when I need a break.

      After spending $2K on regular maintenance for my car today, in the grand scheme of things, I no longer find the price of an iPad outrageous.

      1. I got one recently too and love it. I have the same one as AL and I use it for the same reasons. The only thing I’m annoyed about is the lack of decent (and reasonably priced) cases. I think apple released the specs late so companies are still working on manufacturing them.

  25. Hi ladies!

    I have a general question about moving laterally to another firm. I am an associate and I have recently begun reviewing job postings and would like to move to a larger firm for the more extensive experience I will gain, the community I have missed for the past few years, and the chance to observe/learn from the styles of a multitude of different attorneys. I am constantly frustrated, because the majority of the openings I have encountered *prefer* large firm experience. Why is this? I fear that I put myself at a disadvantage out of law school by going to a smaller firm. Does anybody know why this is or, more importantly, what the traits are that these firms are looking for that a larger firm attorney might possess, but not a smaller firm attorney?

    As a side note, I am also constantly frustrated by the number of firms that still want my GPA and transcript. I do not believe that this information is highly relevant to my practice, and it can be hard to come by for someone not fresh out of law school!

    1. As I know you are already aware, big firms generally have a very different culture than small firms, and people who succeed in one setting won’t necessarily translate well to the other (not that I agree with this entirely, but that seems to be the hiring rationale).

      How small is the firm you are currently at? How many years of experience do you have? And is the type of work you do also performed in large firms? Some practice areas just don’t translate to a larger corporate firm, and if that is where your experience is, your odds of lateraling to a bigger firm are not good.

      The majority of lateral hires in my practice group are from other large firms for one reason: small firms don’t do much corporate work of the sort that we perform (i.e., securities and M&A).

    2. Fair or not, as for requesting the transcripts and GPA information even after you’ve been out a few years, if you’re going to a bigger firm, you can pretty much expect it. There’s a general perception around large firms that you have to “qualify.” And if you wouldn’t have “qualified” grade-wise or at least come close as a new grad, they don’t generally backdoor you in later unless they have an exceptional reason (i.e., you have extraordinary expertise in an area, you have a client contact they want, or you are transferring along with a partner). I don’t mean to be harsh, but big firms for the most part tend to believe they are “superior” (whether they are or not is debatable) and they want the top grads.

    3. Your law school should be able to get you your transcript and GPA. I am at a bigger firm and we definitely look at GPA for any associate position (which is what I assume you are applying for). It’s very standard even if the associate is 6 years out of law school.

    4. Big firms can often (yes, of course I know not always) be more selective than small firms in the first place and attract better candidates, so a big firm looking for laterals might want them from other big firms. There’s also a sort of work style people develop at big firms – experience with many of the things you point out for instance (e.g., working with and learning from multiple attorneys) that might lead to a more seamless transition.

    5. Thanks for the great responses, ladies. I am currently a fourth year associate at a very small firm–two attorneys, one support staff. I am not interested in applying to huge firms, just larger ones where I would have more attorneys to learn from and connect with. The type of work I perform is done at larger firms–I am a bankruptcy attorney, and my firm focuses primarily on smaller corporate Chapter 11s.

      I suppose my frustration stems from a recent interview I had (the firm is 60 attorneys/about a dozen in this practice group). I thought I did a great job in the first round, and now I’ve been invited back to interview with one more partner who was out of town during my first interview. I’m very excited, but the HR Director has just now requested a copy of my transcript. I suppose it just seemed odd to me to do it so late in the interview process.

      1. Very belated response, but that might actually a good thing. It may mean they’re checking your resume, gathering the info on you, etc. in order to make a final decision (kind of a dotting the i’s, crossing the t’s type activity.)

        Good luck!

  26. I have plantar fasciitis in one foot and a partially collapsed arch that requires orthotics in the other. I need shoe recs, particularly something I can wear with a skirt suit for interviews. Does such a thing even exist?

    1. I recommend these brands for dress shoes that can be worn w/ a skirt and orthotics: Beautifeel, Munro, Daniel Green, Thierry Rabotin, and Ara. Sometimes you have to go the Maryjane route in order to keep your foot from slipping out, but there are some good versions of the Maryjane out there.

    2. Tsubos all have removable insoles so you can replace them with your orthotics. There a few other brands too – check out barkingdogshoes.com, they have a brand directory.

    3. I have had plantar fasciitis for over 20 years. My go-to brand, both with and without orthotics, is Naot. They have a completely removable cork and leather insole, so you might be able to remove one for your collapsed arch and leave the other in for the other foot.

      Naot styles that are more dressy/work appropriate: Pleasure, Artiste and Hope. All three of these come in a variety of colors, including black patent leather and black plain/regular leather. I agree with Darlene that a Mary Jane style may work best with orthotics; at least it does for me because the strap across the instep helps keep my foot in place even though the orthotic forces my foot further out of the shoe. Hope that makes sense!

      1. I have a lot of Think! shoes which work with orthotics, though I agree – get the ones with a strap if you want your foot to stay put. One problem is that really sturdy orthotics can grind the shoe away from the inside (the softer the shoe leather the worse the problem), which means they don’t last as long as I’d like, but otherwise I’m very happy – and the grinding problem isn’t confined to one particular brand.

  27. Lawyers Poll: does your firm have an associates’ committee? What does it do and how is it selected? My firm is considering one now and considering its structure and purpose, so I thought I’d seek your collective wisdom.

    1. My big firm does. It’s basically a way for the firm management to disseminate propaganda in the hopes that the committee members will repeat it to their fellow associates. The associates on the committee have no actual influence on firm management, so the only advantage of their sitting on the committee is they have additional opportunities to beat their head against the management wall, even if the reason they joined was to earnestly try to help improve management of the firm.

      The firm will say something crappy – many examples in 2009 and 2010 of how they’re cutting compensation or messing with the partnership track AGAIN, so the associates committee says “what about this or that?” to try to lessen the negative impact of the latest idea, or “that is going to really upset the associates.” The firm says “hmm, interesting, thanks for your input” and then does exactly what it wanted to do anyway.

      At least for my big firm, it is a big waste of time.

  28. For fellow preggo gals – Target has some very cute sleeved maternity dresses, very work-appropriate, on sale right now for $10-$15.

  29. My favorite pair of comfy black low heels just literally ripped in half, and I was thinking about using it as an excuse to change up the footwear. For years I only wore heels, until my knees and back gave out – but I don’t find ballet flats and their ilk flattering or supportive, nor are they particularly professional. What does everyone think of the recent-ish trend of women’s Oxfords? They have some really adorable heeled ones out now, and great menswear-inspired flatter ones too. Since I wear more pants than skirts, I think I could probably pull off the look. Any thoughts on the professionalism of Oxfords, and any suggestions for comfy/walkable brands and styles?

    1. I love my oxfords (with heels). They might be “Amish” or “old-fashioned” to some, but they are comfortable for all-day wear, even with plenty of walking, and they poke out from my pant legs just like any other heels would.

    2. Nothing to note regarding Oxfords (though I know there have been debates about them on this site recently). However, I’ve very recently fallen in love again with penny loafers, the classic black Bass ones. I’m loving the look of them with a pencil skirt and twin set!

  30. Does anyone have any advice on the migraine-work (or for that matter, migraine-life) balance? I want my life back. I’m graduating and I don’t know how I’ll be able to work in an office with fluorescent lighting like this.

    1. Would you have your own office? Loads of people bring in a lamp or two (maybe a floor lamp + a desk lamp), turn off the overheads and use the lamps. A window would be nice too, but I’ve seen this (the lamp thing) work great without windows.

      1. Unfortunately, I won’t. I’m just up to my eyeballs with frustration, I’ve tried everything to no avail.

    2. I use two desk lamps and keep the blinds at half-mast. Our overhead lights have 2 brightness levels, so I keep them on the lower setting. Works for me. The warmer desk lamp lighting makes the office cozier too.

    3. Are you going to have your own office? If so, you should be able to bring in your own lighting. We have a lot of people in my office who bring their own lights. As it is most of the fixtures are supposed to have 3 bulbs and most have 1-2 at most so it’s not quite as bad as it would be if all of them were on. The lighting in my office doesn’t seem to bother me, but we have this cubicle that is a nightmare for whoever sits there because the fixture makes awful buzzing noise no one can figure out how to fix.

      There are still other things you can do to help- try to get some physical activity in during the day, make sure you don’t have blood sugar issues, stay hydrated, etc. Also keep medicine at your desk so you can take it as soon as you feel the migraine starting.

      1. One more thing- if you get headaches while staring at a computer, you probably want to go to an optometrist to see if you’d do well with computer glasses. I was a little discouraged to be told I needed progressives at 26 but when I finally got around to getting them at 29, it made a big difference. Now if I try to use the computer with my regular glasses on, I can feel the headache coming on almost immediately.

    4. It’s hard. Not sure if you’re a lawyer or not, but long days in Biglaw can be hard for migraineurs, depending on your triggers. Mine are non-hormonal, but are triggered by stress and by using a computer for too long. I have recently started dictating, so that when I feel one coming on, I can stop using the computer and still keep working.

    5. I had the same fear and it has been fine. Not sure how much of this is relevant, but this is what I’ve figured out.

      Start with getting as much sleep as possible. Always have a water bottle at your desk and stay hydrated! Don’t let yourself get too hungry (bring healthy snacks). Elevate your computer screen (on a big stack of books) so that you are looking straight at the bottom third of your screen (tension in the neck/shoulder area can help trigger). Make everything on the screen a notch bigger than you’d naturally choose (I was always a 75% girl on Word, but not set it to 100 or 110% for line editing). Dress in layers and make sure you can get down to a sleeveless shell if you are warm (or at least an open neck area). You also might want to look into special screen covers that block some of the light from the computer. Keep in mind that your office may be willing to get you some of this as an accommodation.

      On the life side– I would recommend looking at your diet if you haven’t already. I’m a vegetarian and lived on soy products. I cut them out and have gone from 5 migraines a week that made me want to die to a couple a month. Aspartame also is a killer for me, and red wine. Also– a magnesium supplement helps me (and a lot of people apparently). A pill a day is easy, cheap, helpful and has little downside.

      On drugs– triptans (like Imitrex) can be life savers if you get bad migraines that don’t respond to anything else. Learning to take them at the first sign of a migraine has saved many of my work days. Beta blockers have been great for me as well . Just things to ask a doc about.

      Also, remember that a lot of this is often hormonal, so talk to a doc if you think it could be related to birth control (it was for me), and keep in mind that it will likely get much better a bit later in life.

      Mostly– good luck, I feel for you!

      1. Thank you so much for the tips. My migraines are pretty nonstandard in their triggers/presentation and therefore I haven’t figured out a good drug for me yet. It’s just no fun.

        1. Have you tried Advil? I’ve been getting migraines for over ten years now and two Advil every four hours when one hits is the only thing that got me through hs, college, and now grad school. Coffee also helps. On the glasses front, perhaps you could get ones with a slight tint, not the creepy kind just one or two shades darker? Also, I went on Imitrex and after the first dose my migraine was gone but every minor body ache was intensified ten-fold, jsyk.

          Hope you’re migraines lessen, I feel your pain!

        2. Are you absolutely sure it’s the lighting? I looked at just about everything as a trigger for my migraines, and it turned out that while some of them are hormonal, a lot of mine were caused by TMJ. Once I got a splint and started doing some TMJ exercises, I cut my frequency in half. A lot of people clench their jaw or grind their teeth unconsciously when they’re awake, not just when they’re asleep. Stress relief helps – I have also used acupuncture to help migraines, to good effect – but if you don’t help the clenching/grinding somehow, you’ll keep having trouble. Have you seen a neurologist? They can help you pinpoint your triggers a lot more effectively than just your own guesswork. Hope you get some relief soon.

          1. I have seen a neurologist, but she was basically concerned with me not having a brain tumor. Once that was confirmed they were kind of done with me. I’ve also seen GP’s but you know, they’re GPs and don’t know a lot about my type of migraine, which is fairly atypical. I would like to find a headache doctor that is willing to work with me while I try new medications. I don’t think it’s TMJ but I can talk to my dentist about that

      2. Thank you so much for this, I’ve gotten 3 in the past three weeks after not having one for almost a year. The other day I only had salad for lunch and didn’t have dinner until almost 8 pm, I also think I’m not drinking enough water. I’m saving this post though!

      3. I second the comments on birth control. I never thought my migraines were hormone related – I found lack of sleep, weather changes, etc. to be triggers – but I haven’t had a single migraine since I quit taking birth control… going on six months now. It’s been a complete relief.

    6. I recommend that anyone with migraines try eating gluten-free (no wheat, rye, barley, oats) for a two-month period. Eating gluten-free is trendy, but there are known benefits to avoiding gluten for those who are sensitive. And you don’t know if you’re sensitive unless you try a diet that eliminates it for a period of time.

    7. In addition to the other great suggestions, have you tried acupuncture? I have always gotten migraines, but had a really bad round a couple years ago of constant-headache-flaring-into-migraine that lasted for three straight months. After trying a whole battery of drugs, I finally tried acupuncture, and it actually stopped the headaches. Since then, getting treatment with some regularity (I go maybe once every three months) has reduced my overall incidence of migraines, as well.

    8. I highly recommend a book called The Migraine Brain by Dr. Carolyn Bernstein. She’s a Harvard neurologist who’s a migraine sufferer. You’ll learn a lot from the book, but the most important points to me are that you can never, ever permit yourself to become too hungry, too dehydrated, or too sleep-deprived. You must plan in advance and always have a high-protein snack and some water available, particularly when traveling by air. Additionally, I’ve found it helpful to eliminate fluoroescent lighting in my office, to get some fresh air whenever possible, and to pack a blindfold to combat hotel rooms with flashing lights in the smoke alarms and the electronics. And never go anywhere without an Imitrex in your wallet!

  31. Yay…found a Talbot’s outlet near my job! Picked up a suit and a gorgeous necklace for $59, including tax!

    1. You’re so lucky! Our local outlet closed recently and I’m in mourning. I got most of my summer and winter work wardrobe there last year. Great specials on jewelry, belts and scarves.

    2. Go Divaliscious11! Talbot’s has some *insane* sales online every blue moon (like, “we’re *giving* sh*t away”-type sales. Back in March, I got $130 beautiful shoes for… (wait for it) $13!! I bet there’s all that and more at the outlet!

  32. I am so excited to go to L.A. and I still cannot believe it.
    I didn’t pack, still didn’t fix the little details. I have been working like crazy in the past days to make sure I will not find catastrophes when back.
    I know this sounds beyond cliché but I am dying to meet a celebrity carrying a pint-size dog and sipping a big latte.
    I even made a plan to be hanging at Hollywood boulevard for an entire day (just in case).
    I literally cannot stop Grinning

    1. Check TMZ.com or other paparazzi website – I think they, or sites they are linked to, have updates on the locations of celebrities they’re currently stalking, so you could have a better chance of seeing a celebrity than just randomly hanging out on a street all day. You’d have better luck hanging out at the Ivy or other LA eatery favored by celebrities. I really don’t know how you’d actually “meet” one, but best of luck.

      1. Thanks! Well, this is not the sole purpose of my trip but meeting a celebrity would make so many people back home jealous (evil grin).

    3. Houda — I hope you have a wonderful time in LA –it’s a very fun city — we want a full report when you get back!

    4. Have fun! I’ll be visiting LA for the first time soon, too, so please report back on your trip!

      1. When I’ve come across a celeb, I spend 5 minutes thinking: “Is that so-and-so?” and then they’re gone ;-D

  34. I know I should be focusing on finals, but I cant help but wonder what you folks think about the three months I have between the bar and starting my new job. My hubby and I are moving for the job and he is planning on getting a job in that city. He is not a lawyer so I think by the time I am done with the bar and ready to party, he is going to be back at work. After all these years of school and work, I’m not totally sure what I will do without them….That sounds lame, I know. Thoughts?

    1. Embrace it! I know, i had a hard time too. After years of having at least one job, sometimes more, working while in school, working during vacations, juggling lots of activities, the idea of having more than a day or two off to do nothing was a little bit frightening. I worried about what people would say/think, what my husband would say/think, how I would put in the time… I thought about volunteering, traveling, working…lots of things. In the end, I decided to do a little bit of volunteering, a little travel, a tiny bit of free lance working….but left open the majority of my time to do nothing. There were a few days (even weeks) where I felt at loose ends, but it was ultimately really freeing and wonderful and I’m glad I did it. I read books, worked out, went for long runs, baked, was completely available to see friends whenever they wanted (I’d visit my best friend for lunch in the middle of the day), caught up with relatives I hadn’t seen in years, saw high school friends, spent time with my mom, did “touristy” things in my city by myself, wandered around bookstores and thrift shops, audited a class at the university, etc. It was great. I thought of it as “I should do all that I can to make sure I’m in a good place to start work, because the job will be stressful and hard, and I may not have the time to call my mom whenever I want/see a movie with friends/work out, so I should do it now.” I will likely not have a chance to do that again until I retire and I’m glad I did it. Go for it! (alternatively, go for it but balance it with the right amount of “fun but structured” activities- take a class, volunteer, part time job, etc. just do those because you enjoy them and not because you “feel like” you have to be busy.)

    2. I was in your shoes. New place, husband working, no friends yet. I volunteered at the animal shelter a couple days a week and spent a lot of time swimming at the public pool. I also slept in, lived on facebook and vegged out.

    3. I went through this a couple years ago when the firms all deferred their incoming classes. My husband was working, and I had a ton of time in a new city.
      Here’s what I did to occupy my time:
      1. Joined two alumni groups (one for my college, one for my college sorority) to network and meet friends in town with similar interests. It worked like a charm, and these are some of my closest friends now.
      2. Volunteered with a local non-profit helping kids for their college and scholarship applications a few hours per week.
      3. Started a new hobby I’d been dying to take up for years but couldn’t find the time to do during law school.
      4. Adopted a puppy. We’d been planning to do this for a while, but it was great to have the time to bond and housetrain.

      There were still a lot of times I was unoccupied, but overall a good experience.

  35. I went shopping last night for a pair of “nude for me” heels. I tried on about 20 pairs of shoes at DSW and it turns out that the only ones that blend with my skin tone are pink. Not pinkish, an actual pale pink (I am a redhead and have a strong blue undertone to my skin).

    Will these actually work with professional outfits, or is this a trend I need to let pass me by? Should I be concerned that pink shoes will be too much for a law office?

    1. I’d do it! I have a tough skin tone myself, and the heels that look nude on me are a really odd color by themselves. On me, they blend and truly are “nude.”

    2. I wear actual pale pink shoes all the time at work in BigLaw, for the same reason. I think as long as the shape/style is pretty conservative, the color is fine.

  36. Online dating question: Match.com or Eharmony? Or another site?

    I thought I remembered a few people discussing the differences in a past weekend open thread, but can’t seem to find it… A friend and I were recently lamenting the post-college dating scene in our city and decided we’d both give online dating a try and be each other’s moral support in the process. Needless to say I’m a little apprehensive/nervous. She’s signing up for Match.com, but I’m not sure which one to try and would love advice.

    1. Why not sign up for both? You don’t have to pay to sign up and see what’s out there! Men who do pay for it can instant message you…at least that is how it works with other sites.

    2. eHarmony is always running free weekends to talk to folks; so you can put up your profile and activate it and then if you find out the special is running and you’re getting some responses, try it out for a few days

    3. From what I’ve seen, people who join eHarmony seem to be ready for commitment pretty quickly. I’ve known two people who got engaged to someone they met off eHarmony within 6 months, while Match.com seems like it is for people who may be looking for a longer timeline or something more casual. I think people on eHarmony also tend to be a bit more traditional in their beliefs.

      1. this – on all accounts.
        My friends who have tried eHarmony were looking for a traditional long-term commitment whereas friends who tried Match seemed to be looking more for a “good time” without a commitment.
        No judgment for either one, just an evaluation of the trends.

    4. Eharmony, unequivocally. The higher monthly price and the long questionnaire do a lot to weed out the riff raff. Match to me always seemed full of people just looking to hook up.

    5. It depends on what you want. I’ve done both. For me, Match had a lot of guys just looking for flings/physical relationships. Eharmony, with the slightly higher barrier of entry, attracted mature people looking for longer-term commitment. I met a fantastic guy on there. We are so compatible it’s almost scary. After a year and half, we’re engaged! Good luck with whichever you choose.

    6. I met my husband on match.com! But this was back in 2001, so the sites may be different now. Have fun! :)

    7. I realize I’m replying to this a little late, so maybe nobody will see it…but last month I married the first guy I went out with from match.com!

      My hubby had dated several people from both sites. I think he liked eharmony a little better because he seemed to make better connections with people. In fact, he was almost about to cancel the match.com membership but he wanted to see how things would work out with me!

      So I guess my advice is to try out both and stick with whichever one works for you (or both!). But have an open mind and relax and have fun!

    1. Pretty shirt!

      I am a slim 34A and typically wear a S or 2 in JCrew, a S in Halogen, an XS in Classiques Entier, and a S in Ann Taylor and BR. Talbots is too big for me. My BB sweaters are S because XS are too short. My BB shirts are size 2 and size 4 – the 2s are a bit short for my long torso but otherwise fit me better. The 4s are a little bit loose but not big, and offer more length.

      Consider ordering your normal size and one size down – the stores take returns from online.

    2. I actually have this shirt! I am a 34C, small waist, and I got it in a 6. (I am typically a 4/6/medium on top and a 6/8/medium on bottom). I probably could have managed a 4, but I wanted a slightly looser fit for this particular shirt. I think of BB as being extremely true to size.

  39. Is anyone here 35 or under and absolutely, positively sure you are either not going to have children, or not going to have any more? If so, and you have asked your doc about permanent birth control (Essure, endometrial ablation, tubal ligation, etc.) what was the reaction? I have a GYN appt this week and want to bring it up. My husband and I have one child, husband is older than me and we both know we are done. I had a terrible time getting pregnant and a terrible pregnancy, then ended up with a high-needs, colicky newborn and cannot do all of that all over again, ever, and I am positively sure. I have heard a lot of doctors won’t do anything permanent with most women under 40, for risk of getting sued later. Anyone with experiences to share?

    1. I couldn’t find a doctor to perform a tubal ligation until I was in my mid-30s and divorced. It was a frustrating and demeaning experience to be told, “Oh, you’ll change your mind! Just wait and see!” even though I have NEVER wanted children.

      That being said, the procedure itself was quick and easy, with only about a half-day of down time for recovery.

      Keep asking around until you find a doctor you trust who will listen to you. Best of luck!

    2. I think it’s somewhat easier for men to get a vasectomy at a young age than it is for women to have tubal ligation. I have a friend who got a vasectomy before 30 and I don’t think he had that much trouble finding someone who will do it. I think younger women who don’t want more children or the expense of paying for monthly birth control typically go for an IUD.

    3. I have a friend who had childhood cancer and was told she was unable to have children. Surprise! She got pregnant. She had a c-section and some form of permanent birth control at the same time. In her case, she was being advised to not have any more children anyway. Her first is physically healthy but is delayed in reaching milestones and may have disabilities not yet discovered.

  40. So I’m going shopping today . . . any tips on what I should be looking for in terms of weekend/casual wear? I can’t seem to dress myself outside of work. I’m also newly single, so I’m going out more than I have in years. Any advice is appreciated!

    1. I am very close to becoming single again too! I had a drag out fight with my BF yesterday over stupid things, and am also going out to get a refreshing new wardrobe today! I think I am going for a light, airy springy look–I am starting at Macy’s then going up to Lord & Taylor with a $800 budget for shoes and 3 or 4 dresses. I promise myself that I will NOT come home until all $800 is GONE, just like my BF! Good luck to you. Maybe I’ll see you @ Macy’s later!

      1. Good luck with everything . . . it’s tough even when you know you’re doing the right thing. I’ve been drinking copious amounts of red wine to help :)

    2. Start with a great fitting pair of jeans in a darker wash. You’ll be able to dress them up or down. If you wear skirts; also look for a denim pencil skirt. As for shoes, espadrilles are really in this year. A light tan pair will go with everything and will make your legs look really long. Have fun!

    3. Second the dark jeans suggestion. If you’re going out, you can dress them up with cute tops and during the day you can just get some embellished t-shirts. A pair of leggings might also be a good choice- you can pair them with longer tunics or skirts/dresses that are shorter than you’d normally feel comfortable wearing. A maxi dress (perhaps a little more covered up than the one pictured) might also be a fun choice.

    4. i just discovered this blog last night and really like it!
      http://www.9to5chic.com/

      she works in medical device marketing so has lots of cute work outfits that are a nice dressy business casual – and she also posts weekend outfits so you can see how she uses the same wardrobe pieces to put together casual vs. work appropriate looks. maybe you could branch out similarly and find some versatile pieces that could be dressed up or down?

      2. I love her blog, but SO many of the things she wears would look awful on my shorter, squatter frame (I know, because I’ve tried many of them on). Sigh

    5. In addition to dark jeans I’d look for some fun summer dresses. They cool, comfortable and can easily go from day to night with a quick change of your accessories. In the past I’ve found some great ones at JCrew and Urban Outfitters (some of their dresses can be a bit skimpy, but I’ve found some great ones there the past two summers that I get more compliments on than dresses I spent twice as much on). And don’t be afraid to try locally owned boutiques and other stores that you normally wouldn’t shop in, i.e. the kind that do not sell work clothes. They are a great place to find weekend/casual wear and often have some of the best denim selections out there (at least in my area where we unfortunately do not have a Barneys :( ).

      Also, as you’re developing your weekend style, if you find a trend or new style that you want to experiment with I’d suggest buying a cheaper version of it at a Forever 21, Charlotte Ruse or Express type store. Then, if you like it and find that it really works on your body type you can upgrade to a better quality version, and if it doesn’t work or doesn’t fit into your lifestyle you’ve only lost $30 as opposed to $70.

      1. Thanks so much for all of the suggestions! I got some skinny legged dark wash jeans and a couple of inexpensive layer-y tops. The dresses were still too aspirational for me even though it was 81 degrees here in Pittsburgh today.

        Oh crap, now I have to find clothes for my 10 year college reunion. I stress out more about this stuff than almost anything else.

Comments are closed.