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– I was surprised how many people noted that they hated phone calls in our discussion on social lives for busy women earlier this week — Lifehacker has some tips for people who hate the phone. (For the record, I'm with you phone-haters — but I do find that they make a cab ride go faster!)
– Lindsay Pollak wonders how early is too early to start worrying about work/life balance.
– Above the Law has a nice feature with tips on managing other people.
– Capitol Hill Style has advice for thank-you notes when you're being interviewed.
– The WSJ covers the hottest lunch boxes for the executive set.
– Savvy Sugar lists the nine things every forgetful person must keep at the office. (Check out our own series of “Office Staples” from a few years ago — we still agree with much of it: Clothes Staples, Tech Staples, Food Staples, and Toiletry Staples).
– Finally: Don't forget that you can enter to win a year's free subscription to Hoseanna and to win one of four style makeovers at the Hoseanna Facebook page — the sweepstakes ends 4/11!
Monday
I think it’s so telling that we call it “work-life balance.” How do you balance anything against “life”? It’s life. Work seems ridiculous on a scale beside it, and sure enough when a crisis happens in your life (for example, parent dying) that perspective definitely comes through. Oh well–back to work.
Integration
I attended the Women in Business conference last year at Harvard Business School, and there was a very intelligent and well spoken women (from Deliotte, I believe) who spoke on this topic. She said she thought the work life balance terminology was inappropriate, because the balance indicates a zero sum game, when one side of the scale goes up, the other down. She suggested that a better term would be “work life integration” and said that they were using that term within her firm already. I think it speaks volumes about the problem itself. Viewing it as how to integrate one with the other seems much more calming than viewing it as two opposites constantly pulling at you, while you try to balance it all. Just a thought!
Monday
Thanks, that makes a lot of sense! Integration also seems to suggest that “life” is not optional, but instead always there, and for everyone (i.e. not just women!)
fresh jd
I agree with the sentiment of the woman’s points, but I’m not sure I like “Integration” any better. Integration feels like one must integrate their work into their personal life (i.e. checking bberry off-hours and working weekends or late nights, even if from home)…as though you can’t separate your work from your personal life.
Monday
Good point–integration could be the opposite of boundary-setting?
Anonymous
you do. not every single day, or every single night, but you do. Thats what being a lawyer demands. I have two children, a loving husband, and work in biglaw, and some finding the balance, integration, or any other word, is important to me and a constatnly moving target. But i knew that when i got in. If you want a job where you never have to check your email when you are not at work, you might consider a different profession.
fresh jd
That’s pretty much why I don’t plan on pursuing a biglaw career. My current quasi-legal job working for a European based employer (with Euro style benefits) doesn’t require any nights or weekends and I am beyond grateful for that!
Anonymous2
I think maybe that is what being a Biglaw lawyer demands, but not all lawyers are Biglaw or required to check in on evenings/weekends. I switched from Biglaw to in-house and don’t even own a bberry anymore. I do check my email on occasion from home in the evenings if I’ve had to leave the office early that day, but that’s about it.
soulfusion
I believe I have heard that same woman speak on this issue because that is exactly what came to mind after reading Monday’s comment. And like it or not, integration is what happens in many professions although most of the time I feel like work has integrated its way into every nook and cranny of my life.
Ahem, I have a friend on his way to my place from the airport right now and I am ready to start my weekend without work but am afraid it will weasel a way to integrate in. [Sigh]
Monday
I very much appreciate the need for down time, travel, pursuing hobbies, etc. But just in case anyone is thinking “this is what you get paid for!” I want to reiterate that my original example was not about having fun, it was about dealing with family illness/death. This is where “work” and “life” really come to the ugliest standoff. I still have horrible memories of having to fight for basically ANY time away from work while my Dad was dying. It made the experience so much worse. In instances like this, checking email during off-hours seems just fine in comparison.
Working Mom
The term work-life integration makes me think of this Dilbert from March 23rd
http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2011-03-23/
Res Ipsa
Maybe it’s because I can think of fewer things more annoying than being forced to listen to half a cell phone conversation, I never talk on my cell phone in a cab (unless it’s a quick “I’m on my way” call). I’d be interested to hear from cabbies whether that’s a pet peeve of theirs, or whether they just tune it out as part of the job.
chis
I feel like every cab I have ever been in has a cab driver talking on a bluetooth. If I have to listen to their end, they can listen to mine.
Eponine
Ditto on the cabbies on bluetooth. I’m always delighted on the rare occasions I get a cabbie who actually engages in conversation with me.
soulfusion
ugh, must be the NYer in me (or my dislike for small talk) but I do not like talking to cab drivers. But I also dislike talking to seatmates on an airplane. If the conversation gets weird or awkward or overly personal, there is no way out. Quick example: Boston cab driver questioning my single status and urging me to get a husband. Ugh.
soulfusion
p.s. at least in NYC, if you are on the phone you can shut the window thing so the driver doesn’t hear or just lower your voice. Chances are the person you are talking to will be able to hear you just fine and the driver will have to strain to follow you.
Eponine
I am an Old.
AnonInfinity
Airplane seatmate horror story:
I used to like chatting with people on airplanes until I was once on a cross-country trip. I mentioned growing up with my grandparents in a conversation with the older gentleman next to me. The following exchange then took place:
Him: Why did you grow up with your grandparents?
Me: My mother passed away when I was a baby and they adopted me. [For most people, this is the end of the conversation. I don’t mind having this conversation at all because it is a big part of my personal history and what makes me who I am today.]
Him: How did she die?
Me: She was murdered. [This has ALWAYS ended the conversation. I don’t mind talking about this aspect of my life at all, either, but I also don’t generally want to go into detail, obviously.]
Him: Did she deserve it?
Me: *blank stare* *stare at magazine and remain silent for the rest of the flight*
I have not talked to a stranger on a plane since.
Ruby
@AnonInfinity – holy crap that’s awful! What’s wrong with some people?
E
I’m with soulfusion. I’m usually okay chatting with people I happen across, but cabbies in NYC tend to be a different breed. I’ve talked to a few nice ones, but so many are completely un-PC, HATE Wall Street, make all sorts of assumptions about my politics, ask me about religion – seriously, it’s unbelievable. I much prefer no conversation at all.
MHU
I once had a cab driver who got so excited telling me about his country’s most recent world cup match that he overshot my destination by 1.5 blocks. I was rather charmbed by his enthusiasm, (and I wasn’t in a hurry).
Anonymous
I used to be annoyed by cabbies on cell phones, but now I just breathe a sigh of relief that I can get stuff done during the cab ride and not have to make small talk. Kind of sad…
AL
My motto is never to talk in a cab or in an elevator. I don’t think other people need to be overhearing my conversations. Cabbies, in particular, seem to either (a) want to be chatty with you or (b) want to be chatty with their bluetooth.
Eponine
USA Today has an article on dress codes: http://www.usatoday.com/money/workplace/2007-07-09-business-casual-attire_N.htm