Weekend Open Thread

236 Comments

1. I’m looking for some styling suggestions. I bought these two skirts from LOFT. I’m thinking of maybe exchanging the second skirt for black or navy because I rarely wear brown and can’t think of what to wear with it (especially shoes, I have no brown ones). Thanks!

   http://pinterest.com/pin/7843811
   http://www.anntaylorloft.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=33252&N=1200010&pCategoryId=3359&categoryId=210&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_210&loc=TN&defaultColor=Shale%20Brown&defaultSizeType=Regular
   (in Shale Brown)

   1. cute! I think there’s a lot you can pair with the neutral (it is a neutral, after all). It’s a summery skirt, so maybe some cute metallic sandals or ballet flats? (I have some bronze/goldish sandals that I like to wear with brown dresses). As for tops, if it’s the weekend and warm enough, I’d probably just throw on a turquoise tank top with that. Where were you planning on wearing it? It looks like it’s kind of short for an office, but that may just be the model.

      1. er, that first “neutral” is supposed to be “brown.” Time for afternoon caffeine.

   2. love the floral skirt!

      i would pair it with either a slim tank top (in a light neutral or pastel) & a long necklace or a blousy/flowy top in a light neutral or maybe a small print/texture (maybe cream-colored swiss dots or tiny florals), and sandals (in a mid-color, like blush/gray/camel/brown – i think either flats or heels would look great!).

   3. Both those skirts are great. (But they do look short for work.)

      Most of my outfits are two neutrals with one bright solid color. Sometimes there’s another bright color, too. Wear a darker brown jacket or cardigan (or black or blue or beige, etc.), and you could go with any color top.

      1. Thanks all for the suggestions. My field of work is pretty casual most of the time and the skirts are right above knee on me so I think they will be ok.

   4. Just got the LOFT one in black. My plan is to wear it with a black or white tee, fun belt, and shoes much like the ones in the photo (mine are a brand called Coconuts, purchased via DSW). Maybe an “aggressive” necklace to dress it up. Super cute, comfy skirt.

2. Love the weekend! Ladies, I need your collection wisdom please. I am a government attorney who is seeking a move to the non-profit world. I have no idea where to begin on salary negotiations. This is not a legal aid type job, but more of an advocacy group. The organization is national and relies on fundraisers and possibly, attorneys fees. Currently, my salary is fairly low but I have good health insurance. Any advice is would be greatly appreciated.

   1. I don’t know what the figures should be, but I do know (from many years as counsel at a public university) that you will NEVER have as much bargaining power as you do before you accept the job. Use it.

   2. I work for a similar-sounding large nonprofit in DC, 5 years’ experience as an attorney, make 65K. This is a pretty typical salary. Hope that helps.

   3. Not sure if this helps or is comparable, but I saw an in-house position with the ASPCA requesting a minimum of years experience with a posted salary of 80K. This was in NYC though.

3. Any lawyers who have changed areas of specialization? How did you start out in your new field? An LLM or other degree? Networking? I am feeling stuck at work (in-house) and although I could likely find a new job in my field, I wonder if this is not a really good fit for me, it always feels like a struggle against my natural intellectual interests, and I am thinking another area would suit me better. At this point I feel that I have such specialized skills that I have no idea how to make the switch to another area of the law.

   On a related note, anyone else feel that they are so specialized that it is hard to recognize what portable skills you truly have?

   1. I am really interested in the responses. I am a litigator who would like to move to tax or employee benefits. I thought about getting an LLM (NYU) but don’t want to go through the time and expense if I won’t be able to make the switch.

      1. JL – look for ERISA litigation positions if you might want to move into that area. It might not be exactly right, but you could then also potentially start to do the tax/reg work as well. I started ERISA litigation with no ERISA background at all. Lots of time they just need people who know litigation.

      2. My experience working with tax LLMs is that most people get an LLM to “cure” a law school issue (ie, going to a low-ranked school, no journal experience, bad grades, etc). Lots of employers know this, and I think it leads to general suspicion about one’s intentions in getting a tax LLM. I think a tax LLM would be most valuable if you already had a job, and your employers were willing to transition you into tax while you got your LLM. Otherwise, make sure you know your potential employers and how they evaluate a tax LLM. It is expensive!

         I’d suggest you attend some tax section meetings for your local bar association, and join a pro bono tax effort (VITA clnics, or low-income taxpayer clinics, or representing nonprofits are all good) to gain some experience in the field that you can put on a resume.

         1. Actually, I’ve always heard that tax is one of the fields that pretty much requires an LLM. A few of my friends got theirs at NYU while working tax law jobs. They were hired with the understanding that they would complete their LLMs in a timely manner.

            1. Your qualifier “while working tax law jobs” is important – people who work while getting their LLM are in a different position than people who do it hoping it will land them a job.

            2. It’s my understanding that this is only true for the planning side, and it’s not as much of a requirement as it used to be. The older partners at my firm are very big on the NYU LLM, but the younger ones not as much (they certainly still see value in it, but they might not see it as necessary for an attorney who took all of the core tax classes in law school and already had an accounting/tax background with a Master’s and CPA).

               In tax controversy (includes both litigation and administrative disputes) the LLM is not nearly as useful a credential as it is in planning.

      3. I didn’t see this until today, but this was exactly my position five years ago – a miserable litigator who wanted to switch to any field, and ended up in benefits (I love it and I am much better at it than I was at litigation). I met a recruiter who specializes in benefits and has a lot of connections, and he got me a couple of interviews. I was willing to start back at 0 (as a first year even though I had three years of legal experience) and found that firms were willing to work with me. Benefits is a field with a lot of demand, and an LLM probably won’t help you as much as some good connections.

         If you are in NYC, I can send you the name of my recruiter.

   2. I have no advice, but am very interested in the answers. I’ve only worked in domestic relations, and my husband has been a prosecutor for nearly 10 years, and both of us are looking to change fields. I haven’t been practicing nearly as long as he has, but we are both finding it challenging. The hardest thing for me is answering the “what kind of law are you in” questions, when I want to break away.

      1. A coworker of mine who is in your shoes answers the questions this way – Currently I do x and y, more of x but looking for more of y.

         He, however, can do both kinds of law at our firm. It might be different at your firm and obviously won’t work for your husband. To make my answer more clear, currently he does professional liability defense and he wants to do more construction defense so he says “I do prof. liability defense and construction defense. Currently I have more pl cases but I am looking to expand my construction practice.

   3. The University of Alabama School of Law offers an online LL.M. program. It’s a great law school, and I’ve heard good things about the program. It is geared towards working attorneys, so you wouldn’t have to throw all your eggs in one basket by going to a traditional LL.M. program. I’m sure it is much less expensive than NYU or Georgetown.

      1. Not sure if this is absolutely true, but an Alabama tax LLM probably isn’t portable outside the state. My experience in tax is that you’re basically throwing money down the drain unless you get one of the “big three” – NYU, Florida or Georgetown. We also have a local tax law program that is respected locally, but national recruiters see it on the resume and say, “So are you considering getting a real LLM?”

         1. unfortunately, I agree with this. If you want to go into tax, you should really get an LL.M. from NYU/Gtown/Florida if you want to be marketable in a big firm. If you would rather stay in a regional firm, go to the LL.M. with the best reputation for that region. In this market, doing anything else will be a waste of money.

4. Hey corporettes!
   So I went to LA and did the universal studio VIP tour (after hours) it was great!
   I went shopping in Glendale Galleria, Hollywood walk of fame and did a tour in Rodeo drive. I liked the experience but it was not really as glamorous as pictured on TV.

   The bad part is I woke up with my eye that wouldn’t close and my mouth felt funny so I thought I had a stroke :( I went to the doctor and he said you got Bell’s Palsy… I never even heard of that, and now looks like I will have a weird face for few weeks. But I am so glad it wasn’t a stroke. Anyone had this happen before? would appreciate any tips especially when I go back to the office trying to look profesional when you can’t talk properly, business lunch when you chew in a side pattern etc. People in my country are not very understanding of such conditions and I dread the return to office, gym etc.

   On a positive note, I’m going to see my best friend in Denver and that is when the real shopping will start. Can’t wait!

   1. oh no! I’ve never had Bell’s Palsy, but my best friend got it after a very stressful international move. I’m not entirely sure how she treated it, but I believe it cleared up fairly quickly. So hopefully it won’t last too long!

   2. Sorry the glamour was a bit of a let down, but I’m glad you had a great trip anyway!

      Labels are very important, so maybe try to “brand” your condition with a more neutral term. So, I wonder if you could explain your “Bell’s Palsy” back at home as a bad allergic reaction from something you encountered in the US or on the airplane? Would that be more culturally acceptable? If it’s going to fade away, then it might be better to explain it as an “allergic reaction” which everyone knows is accidental and temporary and can happen to even healthy and very capable people, instead of a “palsy” which people generally understand to be more of a permanent affliction. The word “palsy” makes my admittedly ignorant self immediately think of “cerebal palsy,” which I think of as a very serious and permanent condition.

      1. Agree that I’d blame some sort of “reaction” to something in the US – the doctor’s aren’t quite sure what caused it but they’ve assured you it’s temporary. If someone seems especially concerned, you can tell them the techical name, but I think it makes it sound worse than it is.

   3. I’m sorry to hear about your Bell’s Palsy! One of my best friends in high school had it, and it cleared up completely in a month or so. As soon as it went away, you’d never even know that anything had happened.

   4. NOT a neurologist, but a few quick tips from friends who have had it…

      1) Make SURE you tape your eye closed at night. your facial nerve is paralyzed, which is responsible for holding up your lower eyelid. You can get corneal abrasions and VERY dry eye if you don’t tape your eye closed at night.

      2) Related to that, you can tape your face up during the day so you blink more effectively (imagine using a thin (1/4 inch) peice of medical tape to pull the apple of your cheek toward your temple). Totally weird, but may be more comfortable when you are in private or trying to concentrate)

      Otherwise, I agree with everyone. Blame it on the US!

   5. I got Bell’s Palsy 15 years ago as a teenager. It’s often caused by an viral or bacterial sinus infection pinching a nerve in the face. My doctor gave me antibiotics for a bacterial sinus infection, but a CT scan later showed I didn’t have one. I was told it was due to a viral infection and all I could do was massage my face a couple of times a day to keep the muscles in good shape and wait for the BP to go away in 6-8 weeks. I suspect that my BP might have been caused by getting hit in the face with a pillow (my sister and I had been horsing around the day before I woke up with BP). In my case I was lucky that the paralysis started a little lower on my left cheek, so I could close my eye completely, but I covered my mouth when I laughed and smiled (so I didn’t look like I was snarling) and drank through a straw. I started getting little muscle twitches on that side of my face within three weeks, and was totally back to normal after four. Hang in there, and if you haven’t already done so you might want to see about a getting checked for a sinus infection.

   6. Oh gosh! How scary. I have never had it, but I can tell you that I know two people who have and both have fully recovered.

   7. Oh no!!! I’m really sorry to hear that. You seem to be taking it pretty well, though – I had Bell’s Palsy during my first set of finals as a 1L and was a nervous, self-conscious wreck. Good news, though. I treated it aggressively and it went away in two weeks. I took valcyclovir (anti-viral) and prednisone (steroid) and also did a couple of acupuncture sessions. To rest my non-closing eye, I got an eye patch and some gauze from the drug store, along with some Bausch & Lomb eye moistening drops. I would apply the drops, manually close my eye with my fingers, put a couple of squares of gauze over the eye, and then cover with the eye patch. That helped my eye stay closed. Be careful to only use the eye drops as directed. Too much can dry out your eye further and limit tear production.

      I laid low for a while, but I recall avoiding laughing (my face looked very funny when I laughed), and practice talking – you may find that some words and letters are more difficult to pronounce, so if you can work your way around those words/letters or practice saying them until it feels less awkward, that could help.

      It’s amazing how self-centered we as humans are. I found that while I was totally ashamed and constantly self-aware of my Bell’s Palsy, no one really noticed until I said anything. I would hold your head high and pretend like nothing is wrong. The symptoms lessen gradually, so by the time you get home, maybe it will be less noticeable.

   8. Houda, I’m so glad you’re having a good trip. Also glad it wasn’t something more serious. Take care!

   9. One of my friends from college got Bell’s Palsy after the birth of her first child (it was a really long labor that resulted in a C-section at the end–not sure if that was a factor). It gradually went away over weeks. It never returned (she has had a second child since and it’s now been more than a decade).

      I know it may provide little consolation, but chances are you will find it far more noticeable and distracting than others will. Within a short period, I couldn’t tell the difference with my friend unless she went to smile (half of her mouth drooped slightly–I don’t remember it affecting her eye the way some remarked, but perhaps I just didn’t notice). It really seemed to improve pretty rapidly right away and then gradually seemed better over time.

      At any rate, here’s hoping for a speedy recovery and equally long time of not having it ever happen again. And definitely don’t hesitate to blame the US. :)

   10. I’m sorry you are going through this. I know someone who had this condition. He ended up getting relief from traditional Chinese remedies, acupuncture and I’m not sure what else.

   11. I had it happen in high school- I’d really just avoid using a straw at any point, I always dribbled all over myself. It was not a classy point in my life- my doctor said it was stress induced….

   12. A friend in law school got Bell’s Palsy. He was brushing his teeth and he bumped the toothbrush against the side of his mouth somehow, and the side of his face fell. It lasted for a couple of months, maybe as long as 6 months, but it got noticeably better fairly quickly. It was unpleasant, but didn’t seem to be terribly painful or cause problems for him. I hope you get well soon!

       As for dealing with people in your office, just answer their questions straightforwardly and try to head off discussion about it. “I have a slight nerve paralysis, but I’ve been to the doctor and thankfully he said it will be gone in a couple of months. Now, how about those sales reports?” Something like that.

       BTW, I am from Denver originally. Have a great time! I am jealous that you get to visit my hometown.

       1. Also btw – George Clooney has had Bell’s Palsy! So you’re in good company.

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_notable_cases_of_Bell%27s_palsy

          1. haha that list made my day !

       2. The CEO of a company that I used to work for got it – triggered by his third or fourth major staff layoff. I remember being there when he announced it (the layoff, not the palsy) – and seeing how “human” he was to be so deeply affected. I like the explanation that it’s “temporary nerve paralysis.”

   13. To chime in with yet another thrid party experience, I had a freind who suddenly woke up with BP one morning. I did not even notice until he told me and it cleared within a matter of weeks and completely in couple of months! Hang in there and enjoy your time here!

   14. Thank you ladies for the support!
       Well I did suspect an allergic reaction to some Excedrin medication I took.
       I am having a blast in Colorado and I even learned to laugh about this (I took silly pictures in a photo booth at a mall).
       The doctor said I should be fine in 3 weeks, well if that not the case it’s fine.
       I was mainly dreading the part where I will go to the gym and make funny faces (as I always do) while punching the air. Well I got some cute gym wear that would definitely offset the awkwardness!
       On a personal note, I have to say that American corporettes should be glad to be in this country. Everybody has been nice to me and supportive, the waiters would get me a straw for my hot tea without blinking (notice the irony haha). Even the kids didn’t laugh at my face!
       Waiting for my culture to be a tad bit more forgiving for visible disabilities.. I will just laugh it off and blame it on Excedrin!
       P.S.A tomorrow I am hitting the Brooks Brother store in Colorado mills! they have sheath dresses for 49 dollars

       1. Hey houda, it sounds like you’re having a great time, I’m sooo jealous!

5. Those are lovely! I just received two new pairs of espadrilles in the mail today, one from Naturalizer and the other from Nine West. So excited that the weather’s nice so I can break them in today!!!

   1. Oooh – any pictures? It’s a trend I’ve fallen in love with, but I’ve never owned a pair and would love suggestions from you (and other corporettes) about where to find good pairs, and what styles are most comfortable or stylish!

      1. I’m interested in suggestions from everyone on where to find cute espadrilles too. My issue is I’m already tall and it seems like all the cute pairs are 4″ or more high. Any suggestions for some that aren’t so high?

      2. I l0ve espadrilles and have made them a summer staple for years. My one bit of advice is not too spend too much money on them b/c they rarely last more than one summer (at least, if you wear them a lot). They’re super comfy, generally, but the ropey nature of the base makes it easy to have them start to disintegrate. My rule of thumb is they have to be under $100 (or close to).

         These look really cute — almost enough to make me reconsider my no 9 West policy.

         1. I love the J. Crew espadrilles. I bought a pair a few years ago on sale, and I see that they’ve brought back the style I liked. They have some serious structure to them, but they are still incredibly comfortable. And if I recall, they are not 4″ high!

      3. I bought my pair from Talbots last Spring. They’re peep toes and have a 3 inch heel or so. I LOVE them! They have some again this year that I would definitely check out if I were looking for more pairs.

6. Is there a consensus on thank you notes after an interview? It was today, email this afternoon or write a thank you letter and send it tomorrow? They are taking at least a few weeks to make the decision. Should I do both?

   1. I don’t live/job-hunt in the US but I always send an email. I’ve had interviewers reply back and I feel you can sometimes get an idea of how the interview went (in their eyes) from the reply – i.e. sometimes I get ‘no problem, Grump’ which is a bit bleh in terms of a reply and sometimes I get ‘we were impressed with you, Grump’ which is +++. That said, people where I live arn’t going to be impressing Emily Post with their etiquette anytime soon and perhaps the reason why I get so many replies has more to do with the fact that barely anyone else bothers to thank their interviewers.

      1. I once got ZERO responses to my post-interview thank you emails… but I still got the job. {shrugs}

   2. I like handwritten notes. Almost no one does them, so they stand out.

   3. I vote email. I’ve seen the post-interview process go so rapidly that email really maximizes the odds your thank you gets read in time to have any sort of impact. I agree hand written notes are most thoughtful in a vacuum, but I don’t think they are best for job interviews.

      1. I was always a handwritten person, but I’m now starting to think email may be better because of the timing, as E points out.

      2. I agree. When I interview, I always give my reply to the hiring committee before a mailed letter would even have a chance of arriving.

   4. While I’d love to suggest handwritten notes (seems so thoughtful!), I think e-mail is the best practice – it’s fast, it’s easy for the interviewer to respond if they want to, and then they’ve got your day-to-day contact information right there in the e-mail to keep you updated.

      The one nice thing I’ve noticed about handwritten notes (having received a few of them) is that I feel bad about throwing them away, so they tend to linger on my desk which is a good way to keep in front of the person who interviewed you.

   5. I have been contemplating this since my interview is next week. What are the thoughts on both an email and handwritten note — overkill? too eager?

      1. Yes both is definitely overkill (for any situation in which you are sending a thank you note, not just interviews). I vote email – in every situation in which I’ve interviewed candidates, I’ve had to submit my report (formal or informal) either the day-of or within 1-2 days.

         When I was in law school, I always brought my laptop in my interview tote bag and either found a nearby coffeeshop or used the airport wifi (if a traveling callback) to email thank you notes within an hour or two of the interviews.

         1. I was going to go with the email only, but then of course the crazies get me and I think I should also do handwritten — gah! Thanks for the reality check.

            1. No problem :) good luck on your interview!!

      2. Congrats on the interview, Bk foette! I agree, both is definitely overkill. What kind of job are you interviewing for?

         1. A firm job – it is a regional firm with a decent size bankruptcy department — 2 chapter 7 trustees (one just appointed) and decent amount of chapter 11 debtor work. Most importantly, having seen them for 1 1/2 years arguing cases in court in front of my judge, I really respect their bankruptcy department.

            1. Sounds like an amazing opportunity. Let us know what happens!

   6. Handwritten notes are better. They stand out. No need to send it today, but within the week.

      1. But they aren’t effective if decisions are made quickly. We just interviewed candidates for two positions, and we all gave our feedback to the boss (in charge of hiring) within 24 hours.

   7. Thank you everyone! I emailed

7. Hey ladies, I was wondering if I could get some help from all the great Corporettes out there…

   I just found out that I’m going to be traveling out-of-state for work and living in hotels for a couple months. Does anyone have any ideas/tips/general thoughts for living on the road? I’m mainly worried about 1) gaining a lot of weight from eating out every meal and 2) losing my mind from boredom during my down time (I will be in some very very small towns).

   I’m also looking for ideas to make the hotel seem more homey. (I will have my car so I can bring pretty much whatever I can think of with me)

   Thanks in advance!

   1. I think there’s been a post on this … I would do a search.

   2. There’s definitely been a long string about this (maybe on a weekend, not a formal post). It was someone who was planning to be OOT for a trial for 6-8 weeks. People had tons of good tips. Then the trial settled the night before, IIRC.

      1. That was me! There were several posts on this. I will try to rustle them up too.

         1. Are you staying in the same hotel the whole time? That’s what I did – practically had a new home for weeks. I was also on a generous expense account at a 3.5.-4 star hotel in a major city, so some of my experiences may not apply to you.

            1) Make friends with the concierge and housekeeping. If you are going to be there a long time, they can help you. Spend a good amount of time (like 30 mins) getting to know the concierge one of the first few days you’re there – s/he knows the town and will help you out if you ask nicely. Ask him/her to circle on a map which areas of the town are safe/not safe. Ask him/her where S/HE likes to eat out – not what they tell the tourists. Ask specifically what to order at these places. Many mediocre restaurants have a couple good dishes.

            If there’s not a minifridge or microwave in your room, ask nicely if there are any extra ones that could be put there. Even less fancy hotels often have a few of these appliances around and can put them in a room.

            Find out if there’s a hotel safe (the one at the front desk). Use it as appropriate.

            Learn the housekeeper’s names and get to know the general schedule so you can make sure you tip appropriately so that they all get tips. YES, you must tip your housekeepers. Tell them you don’t need to have your bed or towels changed daily (or at least, I didn’t), but you would love to have some extra towels and extra hangers. Tell them you’ll be there for a few weeks. They will appreciate not having to change your bed every day.

            2) Find a grocery store. Get fruit, carrots, granola, nuts, lara bars, liters of water, and anything shelf stable. Horizon makes organic milk single-serves for kids which are shelf stable. Same for OJ. Stick those in an ice bucket (ask housekeeping for an extra ice bucket), and get a couple of sets of dishes from the concierge. Eat a healthy breakfast every day. I found that I avoided a lot of fatty bad calories by eating granola, oj, and fruit in my room – it is very hard to find healthy breakfasts at restaurants. Starbucks makes good oatmeal (ask for soy/milk instead of water in it), but Jamba Juice’s is the best oatmeal.

            3) Have healthy snacks with you at all times. As a rule, NEVER eat the dessert from the tray at the lunch meetings. Ever. Don’t eat any table bread, etc either. I really cut down on the empty carbs during my travel because I was working so much.

            4) Bring workout clothes and sneakers. I also brought a yoga mat and resistance bands with me and did mat pilates in my room.

            5) Skype is your friend.

            1. I went to a two-week training session a year ago and lived in a hotel with a roommate from a different state.

               I highly recommend SF’s suggestions about eating your own breakfast. It was a lifesaver.

               My roommate also brought a homemade throw blanket from her house. It was so soft, and she let me use it from time to time for naps, etc. Way better than the hotel bedding.

   3. I haven’t seen her around much recently, but a regular commenter (Road Warriorette) has a great blog about business travel. http://boardingarea.com/blogs/roadwarriorette/

      1. Love Road Warriorette! (also love the “Alias” :)~

         1. Thank you :-) I read something awhile back about trying to reboot the series with a new cast. In my mind, it would never be as good.

   4. I just spent a week working out of a hotel room in a very small town. Not anywhere close to a couple of months, but here’s what I did. Some of it might not apply for you, since I was doing an unpaid internship and trying to conserve money.

      – The instant I got into the hotel I unpacked everything and put it away even though it was really late at night. This made such a huge difference in making the hotel seem more like home!
      – I went to the grocery and got peanut butter, jam, bread, baby carrots, lara bars, individual apple sauce containers, plastic utensils and a couple of instant meals I could make using my coffee maker. If money hadn’t been an issue (and if I’d realized there was a microwave in the lobby of the hotel) I probably would have gotten a ton of Amy’s Kitchen brand frozen meals. Most small towns don’t have many restaurant options beyond fast food, so I found making myself dinner in the hotel room to be key.
      – Since you’re in a car, bring along any books that you’ve been meaning to read forever. Also, books on cd will probably make driving a lot more pleasant. I was pretty exhausted after every day trying to learn my way around a new place, so this was enough for me. Maybe bring a couple of seasons of a tv show you’ve been meaning to watch. Also, look on this as a chance to catch up with friends you don’t get to talk to very frequently when you’re at home and call a different friend every night.
      – I also made it a point to explore the town I was in for an hour or so every evening. I liked just walking around downtown and seeing all of the little shops and observing life going on around me.

      I hope this helps, I can’t wait to hear everyone else’s advice!

      1. I always bring a small fleece throw blanket for reading/watching TV and a full size mug for full size coffee, and soap and lotion.

   5. Since I also traveled by car, in addition to all the normal toiletries I took my own pillow, comforter, and regular sized bars of soap. Made a world of difference. You might event think about taking a small microwave.

      1. I used to stay in Residence Inns so I could grocery shop and prepare my own meals. Room service hotels can be pretty bad for you (mmm….fried cheese!) Residence Inn will often negotiate a cheaper weekly or monthly rate. I have also rented an apartment a few times (check out http://www.vrbo.com) when I had to be somewhere for more than a week at a time. It was great to get a furnished condo for my stay and it comparable to a hotel room in price. It’s tough if you’re doing multiple cities each week but even then IMO the Residence Inn beats a regular hotel.

         1. This. If you’re going to be staying in an one place for more than a night or two an extended-stay hotel would work well for you. They’ll probaby have a small kitchenette with fridge, stove, oven, and microwave.

   6. I spent a week in Houston for off-site training last fall. The gym was mediocre, but they had free workout sessions via pay-per-view. The sessions were really good. They had dance ones and abs ones.

      Most cable systems also have on-demand exercise programs. They’re not bad.

   7. I spend a lot of time in hotels. Make sure your hotel has a gym, and force yourself to use it at least X times per week (set a goal in advance), even if it means going at 5:30am. Bring a travel yoga mat and some yoga DVDs (or, whatever in-room workout you like – aerobics, pilates, etc). The gym and yoga should keep you from getting too bored. I also looooove my Kindle for travel – I highly recommend getting one, and I think they just went on sale. I subscribe to magazines on the Kindle, so I can read in short bursts instead of getting engrossed in novels.

      As for making the hotel homey, I always unpack and use the hotel closet if I’m going to be on a long stay. You may want to bring your own pillow. If the hotel has a minibar fridge, they don’t usually mind if you put your own snacks inside. I also like to bring my favorite coffee to make, instead of the usually gross stuff they have in the room.

      1. Oh, and make sure your hotel has a safe in the room, and use your safe.

   8. Wow, looks like you’ve got some great advice already! I’ll just throw in one suggestion for lunches/dinners. If there’s a Whole Foods nearby, their prepared food section is a great, cheap option for making your own salad. It’s much easier than buying your own supplies, and you can control what you put in it, so better than restaurant options.

      1. All of the above!

         When I was taking the bar course, I was in the city for weeks at a time. The hotel we were in always had a room with a microwave/coffeemaker/minifridge. Ask at check in if they’re available at the hotel you’ll be in. I brought hummus and baby carrots, instant oatmeal, my own coffee and milk, fruit, juice and 4L of water to cut down on only eating crap.

         I did a lot of walking, both in the neighbourhood of the hotel and the (safer) nearby neighbourhoods, and tried to set aside time between the end of our daytime activities and dinner for workouts in the hotel gym. Also, it’s not always possible, but it definitely helped with my mental state to not always be with people who were talking law.

         It sounds like there won’t be a lot going on in the towns you’re in; if you have an internet connection, Netflix, Skype and a Kindle may be your best friends.

8. A happy Friday to all! I need some advice from the other ambitious ladies on this thread.
   My husband is working remotely for his tech company doing software development, and he’s realized that he can work remotely ANYWHERE. Now he’s decided that we should start a long-term trek around the globe, where he keeps his current work-remote situation and I….. I what? Be a bartender? Start my own consulting business? He’s just convinced this is what we need to do and it will make us so satisfied, but it’s a pretty frustrating rhetoric to me. I don’t want to start my own consulting firm, as I did freelance when I couldn’t find a full-time job and hated it. I hate the thought of working alone in an apartment all day, and never actually digging in at a company. I like going into the office everyday. Sure, it would be cool to drink espresso in an Italian plaza in the evenings, or go hike the Andes over spring break, but that’s a pretty huge trade-off.
   How far should I go to look into doing this? I do love travel, and in college I had aspirations of long-term travel, but I just don’t think it’s going to work with my career ambitions. It’s also extremely frustrating for him to keep bringing this up when it wouldn’t really cost him anything, but it would cost me a lot.

   1. Wow. That’s a heavy question. TBH, my husband wouldn’t suggest something like this if he knew how I felt – so does he know how you feel?

   2. What field are you in? Some people may have suggestions for you based on your area of expertise.

   3. Have you said that last sentence, in those words, to him? That it would cost you a lot to do this, and while you appreciate that he has the freedom to do it right now with no career repurcussions, you do not, and that you need him to keep your career needs in mind and not just his own when he pushes this as a “viable” plan?

      I sometimes dream about traveling for a year or more also, but I would never just “decide” that it was something we needed to do without taking my husband’s needs and desires into account. Is this just an issue of your husband being suddenly excited by the possibility, to the extent that he’s only lookomg at the positive; or is this indicative of a deeper issue of disrespect and/or disregard of your career and career goals in general? that’s the converasation you should be having.

      Best of luck.

      1. Oh, I’ve said the last sentence to him, many times. I don’t think he fully understands the repercussions of just “picking up” and leaving. We traveled/lived abroad in separate cities when we were in college, and he knows I love to travel, and I think that’s part of the reason he just won’t let it go. Being a typical engineer, his solution is to just “try something else”. It’s almost worse that he thinks I’m a smart and capable person, because surely that means that I can work anywhere, anytime. His work remote situation tells him that it’s completely possible, and I think the excitement of that and the reality he’s currently living make him think that it’s way more possible than it actually is.

         1. “I think the excitement of that and the reality he’s currently living make him think that it’s way more possible than it actually is.”

            I am inclined to say that researching this and talking through the details might actually be helpful in this situation. Going abroad in college–when you have a program, help finding housing, and a natural community of people–is completely different than moving somewhere on your own. Looking into the details–where will you live? what will you do with the place you live now? what will you do with your things? how will you do your banking? will you miss any important family/friend events? could be clarifying.

            My general thoughts: loving travel doesn’t necessarily translate into loving living abroad. I lived abroad for a year in college and absolutely loved it. Last year, I was bitten by the travel bug after a few years of very limited vacation (more to the story, but we’ll leave it at that); I left my job and traveled for about 7 weeks in Nepal and India. I always thought I would want to live abroad again at some point, and you know what? I came back from that trip knowing that if I never lived abroad for an extended period, I would be fine. I’m not ruling it out, but I don’t feel that same “need” that I once did. I had a wonderful time while I was gone, and I was ready to come back at the end.

            Do you have any options to take a sabbatical or paid time off for a month or two? Would you even want to do that if it were an option? I wonder if a “trial run” of a month or several weeks would ultimately be satisfactory to both of you. I think it’s easy to idealize living abroad and forget some of the downsides, including the fact that it can get pretty lonely/isolating if you don’t have good ways to plug into a community.

            Hope you’re able to find a solution that works really well for both of you!

   4. How long is a long-term trek around the globe? A year or two? Why do you assume that this will cost you a lot? I know a few people who have done long-term traveling after several years in the workforce and I think all of them really appreciated having the opportunity. I don’t get the impression that there were any negative costs in terms of career opportunities. I work with one woman who has a high-level position who traveled for a year with her husband and now her husband is with their children traveling for two years. Now she just meets up with him every couple of months, which is also a possibility for you if you decide to accompany him for just part of his trip.

      1. Yes, at least a year or two. Was your colleague able to work abroad either virtually or with a company, or did she just quit and travel?

         1. I have two friends that quit and traveled. One for 6 months. She doesn’t want kids and considered it her “maternity leave.” Her employer obviously wouldn’t pay her but said they would likely hire her back on return. She is not back yet.

         2. Her situation did not allow for working remotely, and this time around she’s making enough to support her other family members’ travels for two years. I had another friend who took leave to travel for about a year, but the SARS scare hit about 8 months in and he ended up coming back early. A third friend got laid off and had saved up enough money to travel for about that same length of time.

            It sounds like you are concerned about your job situation, but also concerned that you’re going to get out there and realize you hate it. How about a compromise suggestion that you will give it a try for 3-6 months and if you hate it, you’ll come back? I think it’s understandable not to want to commit to 2 years abroad, but at the same time, I don’t think the repercussions are going to be as great as you think they will be.

      2. You know, it sounds like maybe you just don’t want to travel for that long.

         If that’s how you feel, that’s ok. I also “love to travel,” in like, leaving for nice vacations several weeks a year. But I also love my house. I love feeling the stability of being home. I love downtime on my couch, with my pet, in my own space.

         Your career doesn’t have to be the only reason you don’t want to do this. It’s ok to just want stability in your life.

         (If you really are *just* concerned with how this will affect your career, then I apologize for reading any more into it. But from what you wrote, it sounds like you don’t want to go, but the only way you can articulate it is the job issue. Your job doesn’t have to be the only reason to do or want things.)

   5. Apologies if this post is a little disjointed– I’m working at the same time I’m writing this.

      What will happen if he loses his job? If you are world-travelers and don’t have a home base with contacts, how do you find another job?

      My husband also thinks I can just “work anywhere”. What he doesn’t realize is that I can’t. In my case, I’m an attorney. To be a successful lawyer, or anything else, you have to put time and effort into building a client base and building your reputation. There is very little work that could be done remotely. Clients will not want to consult with you without meeting you. Working in foreign countries is not just a matter of applying for a job. You have to get work visa’s or other permission and some countries won’t let you stay very long unless you have substantial savings and won’t need a job to keep you in the country.

      But, on the other hand, if you can survive on just his salary, you could probably figure out some interesting things to do to keep you busy while you travel the world. The opportunity may never present itself again.

      Honestly, I’d be scared to do it and that’s why I am having such a negative reaction to it. I have to force myself into new experiences.

   6. You know, for all that working from home and working remotely are often praised as keys to a good work-life balance, I think that a lot of people actually aren’t cut out for it. As you’ve mentioned, it can be really isolating to work for yourself, to work remotely, or to work from a home office. A lot of people (and I count myself among them) are better suited to going into the office or to the work site most days and interacting with others. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

      The other thing that’s tough about long-term travel like that is that in a lot of ways, it’s just the two of you. If you’re always moving around, you’re not grounded in a community, at least not while you’re on the road. For some people, that’s liberating. For others, that feels like a profound loss.

      One option might, rather than a life of continuous travel, an overseas relocation for some time. That might provide the adventure that he seems to want while fitting better with your career plans and your career style. I don’t know if that’s an option in your field, though.

      Good luck!

   7. You didn’t actually say what you do? Can you compromise? Maybe do it for a short time (if you job will let you take a leave for example)?

      1. Maybe you can meet him half-way. Instead of trotting around the Globe, just move to Europe for year. You may be able to find a great temporary job in one country.

   8. Sighhh

      I would love to do what your husband is suggesting. Its a dream, albeit an unpractical one. Unfortunatley, my job is not remote workable right now!
      In our case, its my husband who is overly pragmatic and would just laugh off such a suggestion right now. But you know what- he just might say yes if we were in a MUCH better financial situation – like getting a big fat inheritance instead of having to support parents etc. Job Schmob! There is more to life than a job after all.

      Can you work a compromise? Go visit each part of the globe for a few weeks. Or, he can go and live a few weeks wherever, then you visit him for a few weeks and come back together and stay put for a few months.

      Oh well, I am sure my answer was completley unhelpful! :(

   9. My husband and I work from home a lot, and we’ve also spent quite a bit of time overseas. I cannot imagine trying to work from home *and* travel around at the same time, because I need some kind of stable-set up to get work done. At the very least, an apartment with enough space, a desk that is actually meant for working, and a good internet connection. And if it’s both of us working from home at the same time, we really need separate home offices (two different rooms, or some other separate space set-up), otherwise we distract each other. I’ve done ok working by myself in apartments I’ve rented overseas, but I never get as much done as I would at home in the US — it’s not my furniture, the desk doesn’t really work well, the internet is too slow, the neighbors are noisy, etc. etc. Add another person to the mix and it just gets more complicated. So, just from a work-from-home standpoint: it could be done, but you probably need a decently big apartment in a country that’s developed enough for high-speed internet, and you should probably stay in one place long enough to go to the local IKEA and get a desk setup that is actually made for working. Also things like a printer, etc. Of course all of that doesn’t matter if you don’t like working from home in the first place, but those are some objective factors to consider. Maybe some people can carry nothing but a laptop, a notebook and a pen and work on a wobbly table in a noisy Italian cafe (do Italians ever work in their cafes?), but that is not me. And you’d be surprised just how bad the internet can be in rented apartments overseas. And in most rentals, you probably can’t switch providers and upgrade the connection either.

   10. Globe trotter, I think that this is one itch that your hubby is going to need to scratch. And I’m pretty sure that, for you, working remotely or from a series of cafes is not going to work for you. But if he doesn’t get to do this, it might have long-term effects on his happiness.

       How about he travels for a year and you meet up with him for discrete portions of time…say a month here, two weeks there. You maintain your current apartment/house, current job and get some flexibility from your boss and either take it as a series of mini-sabaticals or you do some of your work on the road.

       Or you find an ex-pat job somewhere like Europe or Hong Kong and he travels from there as a base. Get an apartment. You go to the office most days, with flexibility to travel often. Stay two years and have a re-entry plan at your current job.

       It would help to know if your job is portable or not. But the ease of the internet has made a lot of this possible. You may find that if you approach it as a challenge, it might add a lot to your career growth.

       There are many overseas job sites. The US Government hires many. See this article. http://abcnews.go.com/Business/overseas-jobs-americans-seek-foreign-employment-opportunities/story?id=10631476

       Good luck!

       1. I agree. I would say have you husband go do the traveling and meet him for some vacations along the way. He’ll get to do the long term thing, and you’ll get to keep your job and take some nice vacations.

       2. I agree. Perhaps your job will allow you a 3 or 6 month unpaid sabbatical, and you can join him (if you can afford that). I wouldn’t be ok with my guy traveling w/o me for a whole year.

          1. Hi all, thanks for the help! I was sick this weekend, so I’ve just now been able to read all the helpful advice. Good stuff to think about, and good to hear from some others who’ve done some long-term travel. I’ll keep it in mind as we have this very long-winded discussion. Thanks!

9. I finally bought the Olay Facial Cleansing System, but I can’t get the battery compartment off! Any suggestions?

   1. I just kind of wiggled it gently and it popped right off. Iirc, there is some advice on the Amazon review thread for this very problem, however. :)

      (I like mine although it has not worked miracles.)

   2. I asked the exact same question after struggling with it for a week! The anwer I got here was to give it a good tug. When I came home that is exactly what I did. Tried to jiggle it side to side while giving it a good tug. And just like that it can free! Took less than half a minute.

      The tricky part is getting a good grip on the battery compartment!

      Enjoy your brush! I am!

   3. Thank You! I asked my roommate’s b/f to open it and then I finally got it open myself. It’s great and I’m definitely happy I made the purchase.

10. I have a dilemma. I have been going out with an I-Banker for 6 months now. Everything was going pretty well, but now he tells me he is going to go for a 12 month assignment based in Hong Kong. This could be further extended if he likes it. It is good for his career, and I do not want to break up, but am wondering if it is worth it to sit around waiting for him. I have a pretty good job here, and there is no chance of me moving there. What should I do? Have others faced this with a relatively new relationship. There are so many loser guys out there that I don’t want to lose a good one, but waiting at least a year? Help!

    1. My suggestion would be to leave it open. Don’t break up, exactly, but let him go with the understanding that a lot can happen in a year, and that if one or the other of you meets someone else, you should (and do) have the freedom to pursue it. If and when he comes back, you can reevaluate then.

    2. Is this an exclusive relationship and does it seem serious? It seems to me that he should have done more than just tell you he was going to HK – and if he didn’t, I’m surprised you didn’t ask. Did he ask you to sit around and wait for him? Did he suggest you see other people and see how it goes while he’s gone? Did he ask you to visit while he’s gone? I think the conversation you need to have is with him. Having said that, if your current relationship is good for you both to the point where you are interested in sustaining it then I would see how it goes, without committing to exclusivity.

       1. These are all great advice. I am just worried that if I start getting too clingy, he will feel trapped and will break away, which I do not want. On the other hand, if I appear too carefree, he will feel he has a carte blanche to find other woman to love, which I also do not want. We have been pretty much a “couple”, but with all of his work responsibility, this has only meant going out about once a week and talking on the phone. I am pretty sure I am the only one he is sleeping with though, because he lives with another guy, his apartment is very small and he sleeps on a pull-out couch.

          I think he looks at Hong Kong as an opportunity for exotic adventure, as well as work. We are both in our early 30’s and I think he probably thinks of the James Bond movies or something. But he is the first guy I’ve met who is sincere as well as someone who actually solicts my opinion and advice on things. He has also met my mom. So since he is so unusual, I worry that that if I don’t find someone else like him I will wind up unmarried, or marrying some doofus who will not even be close to measuring up to him. I have to figure out a way to show him that I am worth staying with, even if we are 12,000 miles away from each other, but not being too clingy.

          And yes, he will get back to NYC from time to time, but since the HK office handles all of Asia, many of the people travel there, not here, for meetings.

          If ONLY he would stay in NYC, I am sure we could get this to work and I could be married to him, but the timing is terrible! I hope I can figure out what to do.

          1. I’m sorry but…he is 30, an i-banker, and shares an apt with another guy, at which he sleeps on a pullout couch??? something about this story does not add up.

          2. I think this is for sure a troll in the vein of Ellen/Alan. No one can seriously be that desperate to get married. You’ve been dating him for 6 months one day a week, don’t know if your exclusive, but he met your mom so you need to get married?

             1. I thought the same thing, actually, on the first post and this confirms it. 30 + pull out sofa + I-banker does not compute.

                Maybe he is a low-level analyst. Methinks BK’s native language isn’t English, which could account for some of the disconnect.

             2. Ellen/Alan/BK…

                The Trolls Of Our Lives.

          3. If you can’t have this discussion with him, you’re not ready for or in a serious relationship

          4. Husband is an I banker though not in HK. Usually people from the west love being in Asia especially highly paid ones. Bankers are no exception. You may want to check duration – is it 1 yr or with option to extend?

             I hate to say this but unless you’re both very committed, chances are it won’t work. Have sadly seen too many couples break up over distance. Also way too many distractions in Asia . Again sorry to say this but if he’s a white guy, then he’s going to be ‘ in demand’ in Asia. So he better be committed to you.

    3. You could leave it open and try it for a while. Just make sure you know what the rules are (can you each casually date other people during this time or not, etc) Depending on his job, it’s possible he might have frequent business travel back to the US. One of my good friends works for a hedge fund here (though covering asian markets) and his girlfriend works for an ibank in Hong Kong–at least one of them has a business trip to the other’s location about every two months. It’s unusual, but they make it work.

    4. My grandma’s advice to me has always been: “you’re too young not to be having fun in a relationship. If you’re not having fun, move on!”

       I say go for it. Hey, it could be a great excuse to visit Hong Kong :) You may find you have lots to talk about, or you may find that it fizzles out after a few months. Hard to tell at this point. Either way, I think you owe it to each other to try, in whatever form trying takes (staying exclusive or not, etc.). That said, I tend to believe you should see relationships through to the end (if there is one) because otherwise it’s way too easy to play the “what if” game.

11. Happy weekend everyone! I am looking for suggestions on books or websites that might be useful for people going through setbacks. My clients are usually going through a divorce and/or have financial trouble and are in danger of losing everything. Does anyone have reccomendations?

    1. My friend lost his son suddenly and says the Buddhist “let-it-go and detach” teachings really helped — maybe there’s something to that?

       Personally, I get stabby when someone quotes scripture or thumps a bible at me.

       And there’s always Oprah’s site.

       HTH (It probably didn’t, sorry)

12. Hi all — for anyone who has visited a jail, does anyone have any tips? I am an intern, and my attorney has suggested that I “dress-down”, but cannot wear jeans or anything revealing (which I don’t anyway). I was going to wear slacks with a button down shirt, but would appreciate any suggestions re: shoes and other tops.

    1. Regardless of what you wear you will get graphic male attention. It’s easier said than done but try not to react. I usually wear pants when I go to the jail and quieter shoes so they don’t hear me coming.

       1. Yes, this is 100% true, unfortunately.

    2. Check and see if there are any regulations for visitors–these typically apply to attorneys, too. I know my correctional facility has a very long list of no-nos, like no jewelry (aside from wedding/engagement ring, stud earrings), no underwire bras, no large or extraneous bags, no sandals, no revealing clothing… the list goes on. You should be safe in a pair of khakis and a knit top and sweater.

       1. for example, see this list from RI (on “visitor dress code” or something)
          http://www.doc.ri.gov/friends/index.php

          1. I find it interesting that the first rule is “All visitors MUST wear undergarments.” Apparently khaki is out, too.

             1. Khakis are out (at some places) because they look too much like the bottoms the inmates wear in some facilities. I worked in a facility where the inmates wore gray polo shirts w/ elastic khaki colored pants.

                If Khakis are allowed at your facility, I would wear khakis with a baggy sweater. You can buy one a couple sizes too big at target or walmart. You will feel much more comfortable.

    3. Slacks and a button down are ideal … avoid bright (or “look-at-me” colors, and make sure nothing is tight. And be ready for some catcalls and comments anyway!

    4. These comments are all very helpful! Thanks for the quick responses. Hopefully the comments will be limited.

       1. I always wore a too-large very boxy cut (think JC Penny quality) washable black pantsuit to jail…

    5. It really depends on the regulations of teh specific jail. Ask your attorney for advice – there may be items you can’t bring in, you may want to put everything in a bag to avoid having to empty your pockets, or you may have to leave your bag in the car. I would suggest looking as un-sexy as possible. Wear pants and a modest top, hair pulled back, light makeup, flat shoes.

    6. Also leave everything but your ID in the car. Most jails also have coin-operated lockers.

    7. Button-up shirt and slacks are great, quiet shoes are a huge plus, and be sure you know the rules re: underwire bras.

    8. I go into jail about twice a week for work. (I do criminal defense.)

       Definitely no skirts. Those guys haven’t seen legs in a *long* time. And maybe never any as hot as yours. :)

       Nothing that really flatters you. Dress pants/slacks are ok, but don’t wear the ones that flatter your rear end.

       Don’t wear low-cut tops or anything that gapes at your chest.

       You will likely have to leave your cell phone in the car.

       My first day of my first internship, I had to sit in a set of benches where the inmates sat. Some inmate behind me leaned forward, took a long sniff, and told me my hair smelled really good. If anything like that happens to you, you’ll get over it. Don’t look scared. Look like the strong, powerful woman you are, and you’ll be fine.

    9. I visited the county jail a lot for clinic in law school, and I never had any problems. Of course, this was a county jail, not a prison, and we didn’t have to walk directly through a row of cells (although I did see prisoners quite a bit). I always wore a pants suit, and I kept near my partner (another law student, male). As far as I could tell, though, I never heard anything untowards or inappropriate. If you do, though, the best thing that you can do is ignore it.

    10. No one else mentioned this, but wear shoes that cover your whole foot — no open toes, no slingbacks, no toe cleavage, etc. I used to do a lot of work with incarcerated sex offenders, and it was the big thing that we always told visitors.

        1. I always wear my glasses instead of contacts, and tie my hair back. And flats.

    11. I used to do defense work that involved meeting with prisoners in custody daily. If your top is even a little revealing, a scarf will help. Tight can be the same as revealing. I wore a lot of pantsuit + boots + sweater + scarf outfits (also, it *was* in the north.) Button-downs are great as long as they’re not snug or unbuttoned. Ditto to the comments about making sure anything you’re carrying is permitted into the facility; if it’s not, be sure you have change for lockers.

        Don’t end up like my student, about whom the sheriff said, “I saw three-quarters of a breast! It was everything but nipple!”

        1. I have gone to the jail plenty of times in a skirt suit and hose after court: as long as you are professional, you will be fine. Other advice: be firm and professional at all times. Do not give too much personal information about yourself. Be aware of where you have your keys, pen, and glasses as all of these can be used as weapons. I was on death row, locked in with a client, when the electricity went out. These things can happen. Always sit closest to the door. Make sure you know where the panic button is if there is one.

    12. Even a well-run jail is likely to have a jail funk odor – wear something you don’t mind sending to the cleaners afterwards or that will machine wash. As others have noted, dress conservatively and to cover.

13. DC corporette’s, I need your advice. I have an interview next week at a big law firm. Skirt suit or pants suit? If skirt suit, do I have to wear hose? I am guessing yes, but I generally hate them. My choices for skirt suits are black, navy, and charcoal. For pant suits, a mushroom color or black.

    Thanks!

    1. I can’t speak for DC (I’m in CA) but here’s my two cents. If you wear a skirt suit, wear hose. Overall, it’s important to be comfortable and confident. If wearing hose makes you uncomfortable or less confident, wear the pants suit.

       I would go with the black suit even in CA. For my last interviews, I wore a t-shirt under the suit. It was more cool and comfortable.

       Good luck!

    2. My opinion is to go conservative — skirt, hose (sorry), black or navy.

    3. I agree that if you are wearing a skirt suit, wear hose. This might vary by agency/office, but in my large government agency, I saw tons of women wearing hose in the winter and many are still wearing now since it’s not quite warm enough for bare legs. You won’t look odd. If you don’t like hose, try finding a super low denier pair. One of my favorite brands is actually this really, really cheap brand sold at a lot of DC-area CVS’s (though sadly mostly in large sizes) called On the Go Hosiery (they are also online). They are VERY light and VERY sheer, and somewhat durable. If you could find a pair of those to try, I would recommend it because they might be a good compromise between wearing hose but not having them look too thick. I also find the Target brand Hanes line to be pretty good as well in terms of look, but the On the Go ones (if the more skin-toned colors work for you) are REALLY sheer and I really like them.

       I think you should wear the charcoal skirt suit because I think it’s a dark enough color to be very formal but it doesn’t look as dull as black. I’ve interviewed in a lot of places in DC and the people wearing black suits, honestly, in my opinion so often end up looking frumpy and ill-put together, often because they think that just wearing their black suit makes them perfectly good to go, without thinking of the other elements of their outfit. Not saying you would be that way, but I guess it’s just an impression I have gotten from looking at a lot of people in black suits.

       I also find you’ll stick out in a good way if wearing a non-black color (especially charcoal and navy would be my second choice). I still remember a time I interviewed for a large government intelligence agency in a recruiting fair manner (so there were tons of candidates there at once) and I was the only woman not in a frumpy, odd, crumpled black suit. I wore a light gray suit, a blue/floral patterned silk scarf, some pearl earrings, my best black leather pumps, and my best black leather bag. I think it reflected very positively (I got a job offer) because I looked so put together compared to everybody else who had just dug their sad black suit out from the depths of the closet and paired it with a jewel tone t-shirt. Not saying your black suits are like that or that you would dress as such, but I guess what I am trying to say is that often black suits may appear to be a bit blah-looking without just the right styling. And who wants to look or feel blah on an interview day??

       Also on the note of colors, I don’t think a mushroom colored suit would be the end of the world with a very nice blouse or very polished button down. We just interviewed somebody the other day in our shop who wore a light colored khaki suit and a white button down, and save for her Barbie bleached hair (which was a different issue entirely), she looked polished and just fine.

    4. Skirt suit with hose. Any of those 3 colors are fine.

    5. I HATE hose. However, when interviewing for my current job, I wore hose, a white button-down shirt and a navy pinstripe skirt suit. I now dress uniquely but definitely dressed conservatively for the interview.

    6. Today, I bought hose for my job interview — so you can guess what my response will be. I wish I had a charcoal skirt suit, that would be my first choice, but instead I will be going with black or black with a dotted pin stripe.

       1. Good luck with the interview!

          1. I work in DC BigLaw. No one will care if you were a skirt or pantsuit. But if you wear a skirt suit you have to wear hose (for interview once working its not required or even that common). DC is still somewhat conservative and it wasn’t all that long ago that women were basically required to wear hose on the Hill.

14. Travelling Corporettes, your input is needed!

    I will be heading to Thailand for a few weeks and am considering having a few suits custom tailored. The plan would be to arrive in Bangkok, get fitted, place my orders, then travel around the country and pick up my suits when I fly back out three weeks later.

    Can this be done well? How much should I expect to pay? Am I better off shopping for suits in the U.S. and waiting for sales? Are there other items I’d be better off buying in Thailand?

    Thanks for any insight you can offer!

    1. I was with my husband when he did this. He had a few suits made. The fit was perfect. I would say the quality was average. Not super cheap-looking, but also not the greatest quality. I have a girlfriend who did this as well and had a beautiful white suit made. I suggest you bring photos of the styles you want or if you are really picky, bring one of your suits from home to get copies. Sorry, I can’t remember the prices, but it was probably between $100-$200. Have a fabulous trip! I think Thailand is the best vacation location in the world!

    2. Yes, I’ve done this. However, I have a couple of suggestions: 1) bring a magazine picture of a suit you’d love to have, or bring a suit you want copied. The tailors there are so expert, they will make exactly. what. you. want. You can also pick fabrics and freelance a design. I designed several blouses made of men’s cotton broadcloth tailored to fit me precisely. I also had a sexy navy blue silk cheong-style dress with high slits up the side, which I still wear four years later.

       2) The tailors can make these outfits in two-three days. Don’t wait until the last minute to pick your stuff up. I did have problems with button-hole sizes — too small — but I picked the clothes up on my way to the airport and we had no time to fix the problem.

       Prices are outstanding.

       My trip to Thailand was interesting. I was there to facilitate the removal of American inmates who had been incarcerated in Thai prisons for 7 years minimum. There were all convicted of heroin transporting and we have a treaty that allows certain inmates to return to America after 7 years. I had to go to three prisons, one of them the worst in Thailand. I met the executioner — he shoots the defendant in the head — and he wanted to shake hands instead of the traditional wai. Every prison required a lengthy tea ceremony before I could meet the inmates. It was hotter and more humid than any version of hell, and the worst prison was next to a pig farm. It was hard to breathe without gagging

       But, I’ve digressed. It was a helluva an experience. I’ve never had more grateful clients in my life.

       1. This is fascinating. Thank you for sharing!

          1. Agreed. Different from the typical beaches and temples stories. Wow.

       2. Thank you for the insight! (Both shopping and law-related). I don’t think I’ll be seeing quite as much “authentic” Thailand, but it’s good to be reminded that it’s there.

          Could you comment on what “Prices are Outstanding” means? If I bring photographs of all three pieces of a woman’s suit, want it made a a wool-silk blend, etc., how much should I expect to bargain the price down to? I’m bracing myself to haggle – not my strong-suit – but I want to know how much I should expect to agree to.

          Thanks very much!

15. I feel like I am going insane.

    About 15 mo this ago, a female partner who does not work in litigation gave me a pretty terrible “freebie” (contingency fee) project (firm does not do this on a normal basis). Our partnership track is based on amounts received, not hours billed, so it is risky to take projects like these as a litigation associate, especially if the chances for recovery are small. This problem does not present itself in other practice areas as much as litigation, obviously. I was brand new to the firm and a newly minted attorney at the time and l seriously did not understand that everyone did not understand the basics of litigation or even
    INTERVIEW the client or research the potential claims before signing clients on a contingency fee basis.

    The client is a nightmare, and has completely changed his/her story on multiple occasions. client is generally unresponsive and has been constantly behind on adr fees, etc. Discovery from opposing party was seriously worse than I could have ever imagined. There’s also some serious ethical issues, and I am concerned professionally for my reputation. I have put about a sbstantial amount of unpaid work into this, and there is no end in sight. I became aware through an ill-fated search through our document management system on another matter that partner had been explicitly advised NOT to take the case. Assisning partner became MIA when I tried to discuss how to address issues in litigation with her, aside from vague, CYA emails that don’t actually say anything. I finally had to turn to my mentoring partner to get some guidance because i literally did not know what else to do, and he was concerned and begrudgingly stepped in. I did not mean to go over her head, but was seriously concerned and did not want to address these issues without some type of guidance. .I am constantly overhearing jokes/statements about the “case fml brought in.” it is pretty humiliating, and I am having to work a ton extra to make up for the hours I am pouring into this fruitless pursuit. For various reasons, we can’t just fire the client, and the firm will end up paying out of pocket for some substantial expenses. Assigning partner has kind of disclaimed interest in any issues with the litigation, and blames all issues on my judgement, although she either suggested or approved all litigation decisions.

    I am trying to learn from this experience as best I can so somethig good will come from it, but just found out that assigning partner gave me a very harsh
    review. I am livid.
    Advice on how to deal with this? Try to salvage relationship or just leave it alo e!

    1. Please excuse iPad typing! I am a failure when it comes to touch screens!

       1. Evidently I am the only one up late enough tonight to respond, and I hope you get many more responses.

          First, it sounds like your firm is sloppy. A good firm does not accept cases that are not well-vetted. This sounds like a case a naive young sole practitioner would take, not a major law firm. Was no one looking at the bottom line? The costs? The chances of prevailing?

          Next, if it is not yet perfectly clear to you, your assigning partner has pushed you under the bus. She wants to keep her position and you are expendable. She is blaming you for this grotesque mess. You are a new lawyer; you should never have been assigned this case absent very close and constant mentoring.

          You need to spend several evenings documenting this case. Start with a timeline, and then lay out a cost/benefit analysis of continuing on with this case. You should address your ethical concerns. You should address your efforts to get guidance.

          And, you should begin a job search. The attorney who gave you this case and then wrote up a harsh review of you has no integrity. You don’t want to work there.

          As one who has undergone similar job anguish, you have my huge sympathy. Write another post to update us or give more information so we can help you more. Take care. You are not alone.

          1. The partner is definitely throwing you under the bus. You need to stand up for yourself. I agree that you should document exactly what happened. Print out every email the partner sent you about the case (even vague ones because they show that she knows she’s somewhat responsible – if she really felt she wasn’t responsible the emails would reflect that, and you make it seem that the emails reflect that she understands that she’s at least a little bit responsible but doesn’t want to deal with it) and try, to the best of your recollection, to reconstruct the exact timeline of how you got involved in this case. Your overall theme should be that you were naive and just trying to help out while the partner took advantage of you in a very predatory manner; that the case now poses some serious ethical issues that you are not comfortable with; and that you need some supervision and guidance if you have to continue working on the matter, and not from the partner that first assigned you the case.

             Now once you do that, I’m not sure what you should do with that info. You need to bring this to the attention of someone senior but it’s not clear from your post who that would be. You mentioned you had a partner mentor, so maybe that is a good start. In most places there would be a lot of politics involved. I’m going to be honest, doing this might have serious implications for your job (for whatever reason, the person you bring this to might love the partner and think you’re just whining and complaining) but I really don’t see another alternative.

             There are three outcomes to this: your firm could see the light and take you off the case/get you guidance; your firm could fire you for not being a team player; or your firm could do nothing and keep the status quo. If the third situation arises, I would suggest resigning and bringing your concerns to the state ethics committee (i say that 50% out of vengeance and 50% out of CYA maneuver just in case this blows up). Try to find a back-up job before you resign.

             Good luck. I was in a somewhat similar situation (ethically murky case, no real guidance from senior lawyers except to randomly yell at me over mistakes I made because there was no guidance) but your situation sounds much, much worse. After about 6 months of that I looked for and found a new job and I am very happy there.

    2. Perhaps you can lateral to another firm and make this go away? Unless you see it wrapping up sometime soon, I don’t see how things improve.

    3. I am also a young associate and also similarly screwed by my firm. We are reviewed based on hours billed and mark downs count against us. I am put on all small dollar cases where the firm marks down a ton of my time and tells me “there is nothing I could have done differently.” I will never make my hours and could lose my job, and of course will have zero chance of getting a bonus. I have taken the cases given to me and then been given a negative review for things the senior partner missed and that weren’t even assigned to me to look for. I’m also on some great pro bono projects, none of which will count towards my hours/bonus. Le sigh.

    4. Dear FML,

       I agree with Manoa Valley Girl and found a peanut: (1) you are being set up, (2) you need to document it clearly (one copy for the office and one hard copy for your house), and (3) you need to talk to someone about it. the question is: to whom do you speak and how do you make that person care about this case?

       I suggest that you approach this from a firm malpractice/risk management perspective. It will be a lot easier to persuade the firm that it should care because it needs to protect itself than that it should care because it needs to protect you. Most firms have a partner who serves as the firm’s general counsel/risk manager/partner in charge of dealing with the firm’s malpractice carrier. If this partner is not otherwise disqualified (e.g., the best friend of the woman who is screwing you, hates you, etc.), start with him/her. Approach it from the perspective of: I think we are not doing right by our client and I think we are exposing the firm to liability. I have been asking X for guidance, but I need more help here.

       By the way, I agree this woman fucked you. But give the firm a chance to deal with her and watch how they do it before you decide to leave.

       Please update us. Good luck.

       1. good point about copy of your records for home — thinking about the poster who had a full copy of coffee dumped into her bag — you never know what your walking papers may entail

          1. That was me!

             When the contents of my desk and files were returned, my notebooks and hard copies of emails and correspondences were missing. FYI this was a huge corporation you’ve all heard of (I work in tech).

             Luckily I kept duplicates of everything at home.

             My former supervisor was a real piece of work.

             1. Coffee-in-the-Bag, I work in IT, too. I was let go last fall in the same manner you were.

                My boss escorted me to HR and went up and got my bag. Then they sent me out. I did not have the coffee issue, at least. But it was miserable and humiliating.

                Eventually, they let me come back in to get my stuff after hours. My boss was also an a-hole. And a lot of my personal stuff was missing, e.g. earphones, etc.

                Watch out for HR, too. They suck. I’m in MA where healthcare is mandatory and yet 2 months later the forms for COBRA still hadn’t arrived. I actually ended up starting a new job before they arrived. But I love my new job and now I honestly thank my former employers for sending me out the door.

                It doesn’t hurt that I make more money and have a lot more responsibility.

16. Anyone have experience with Rosetta Stone? I’ve been wanting to pick up Spanish again, and it’s on sale right now on Amazon (and the RS site) for $479 (it’s always been $599 or $649 in the past when I’ve looked).

    1. Look for free resources first. My public library has some.

    2. I got the Rosetta Stone Latin program, the summer before I took Latin classes in college. The software was pleasant to use, and I gained some basic familiarity with the language/vocab, but it really didn’t do a great job of imparting conjugation and grammar rules. Other than a few vocab words, I felt like everything the Rosetta Stone taught me was covered in the first two weeks of the class I took in the fall, and I didn’t have a real leg up the way students who had taken Latin in HS did.

       Granted, (1) Latin is a dead language and (2) Rosetta Stone only offers 1 level of Latin instruction (at least at the time) as opposed to 3 levels for Spanish, but FWIW, I didn’t find it incredibly helpful. If you really want to use a computer program, Rosetta Stone is probably the way to go (it was much better than the other-brand programs I used for French and German) but, for me, it was not nearly as helpful as taking real classes, going through book-based programs, watching foreign language television programs, or even sitting down with a dictionary and doing translation work.

       1. Thanks for this. Your comment about it not really going into grammar rules is one that pops up a lot in the online comments and is definitely a knock on RS. I took several years of Spanish in high school, so I’d like to improve that knowledge to potentially achieve fluency someday, and not just learn canned phrases like “Where is the bathroom?” and “Does Antonio Banderas live near here?” (sorry, Gilmore Girls reference–I had to).

    3. Ahh yes! You’re the comment I was trying to reply to. LiveMocha is offering a Groupon deal today (I swear I don’t work for them — I just remember people in my college language classes using the program and liking it). Spanish is one of the languages offered.

17. Corporettes, I need some help. I got sworn in yesterday. Now my boss and I have to figure out how my compensation will be set. When I interviewed last summer, he mentioned having a base salary and then on top of that a percentage of whatever I make goes to me and the rest to the firm, with an increasing percentage to me the more I bring in. Has anyone ever figured out compensation way? What sort of amount would be fair for a small firm in a small town in the southeast? Does anyone have any suggestions as to other ways of setting compensation? Thanks!

    1. Typically 1/3 of what you bring in should go to you. The base salary complicates things a bit (in a good way). Take a stab at what your hours will be, multiply by your rate, figure out 1/3, subtract out your base, and figure out what percentage that number is of the total you expect to bring in. Round up a % or two as your starting point. :-)

    2. I have something like that, except without the base salary part- I’m an independent contractor. It’s tough to work out, but I’m getting variable percentages of what I bill (about 37% for the first 50 hours a month, then progressively more). For contingency cases, well, we’re still trying to figure that out, but it looks like a percent-based on the hours that I work deal. I get a straight 75% of the firm’s take for business I bring in.

       I feel OK with that system (as I’ve commented before, there’s not enough work, which hurts a lot, but I feel good about what I make for the work that I do). Obviously, it would be different with a base salary involved (and I don’t get benefits, which I assume that you do), but that might give you a little bit of guidance. Congrats on getting sworn in and good luck!

       1. I don’t get benefits, sadly, so I have to take that into account as well. The one thing that I know the firm will pay for is malpractice insurance. I think my biggest problem is figuring out 1 how many hours I migh bill because we don’t usually bill by the hour and 2 what a fair per hour charge is for someone straight out of law school. Likewise, if I don’t base it on the billed hour, I have no idea how much work and of what variety/ value I’ll be doing. THIS is why it’s so tough. I know what I need to cover expenses, but how much more than that is just beyond me.

          1. I live in a state without a major city. The going rate for first years here is about $50k at small shops, $65k at medium, $75k at big for the state, and 100+ at the couple local branches of firms that are also in the big city. Hope that helps.

          2. Welcome to the new normal in the world of legal job hunting! (sigh.)

             I would try to find out what some of your former classmates in the area are billing per hour, if you can. Then you can use that as a base rate to judge your hours. BTW, I’m in the southeast, too, mid-sized city. Seems like the small firms are paying around 55, and the big firms (our “big” is more than 50 attorneys) around 80.

             1. In my state 85% of attorneys practice with 3 attys or less. Midsize is like 8 attys and the big is HUGE with 100+. I’m going to ask around with the classmates that have jobs, but I don’t know if anyone is in such a small market (~10,000 in the town).

          3. You have a base salary, but no benefits at all? That sucks! I’d at least negotiate for health insurance. And open your own private retirement account.

             You may be able to get health insurance pretty affordable through your state bar association.

             1. That about sums it up. I have an IRA I opened in high school when I started working. I’ll definitely look into the bar’s health insurance plan as mine right now is cheap-ish but not great coverage.

    3. My small town small firm set my compensation this way– The billable hours requirement is 1440 per year (20 billables per week). My hourly rate was $150. My base salary is $48,000 per year. I get half of any billables I bring in over my billable hour requirement. I get $200 paid towards my health insurance, and the firm pays bar dues and for liability insurance. It also pays for CLE’s and practice aids.

       1. Mille, how small of a small town and in what region (if you don’t mind sharing)?

          Thanks for the response—that’s in the range I was thinking and it helps to know I wasn’t that far off.

18. PSA: 60% off clearance items at Brooks Brothers through 4/25! I love their non-iron, tailored,button up shirts–they have lots of sale colors and styles still available!

19. I’m arguing in my state’s supreme court on Monday, and I really want to wear a navy suit with my brand new nude-for-me shoes (which I adore). I’ve never worn anything but black shoes to court, and I’m worried that my love for these shoes is clouding my judgment about what’s court appropriate. Any thoughts?

    1. They are very on-trend right now and supposedly outselling black. That of course doesn’t automatically make them okay for court, but I do think they’re fine and that the court is likely to have seen them on a large number of women this year. I say go ahead, especially since you love them and hopefully feel confident in them once you get past determining if they’re ok!

    2. Are they matte or shiny? How high is the heel? Are they otherwise just regular pumps? Are you wearing a skirt or pants?

       Assuming they are matte, have a modest heel (say 2.5″), and you have hose that matches your skin tone if you are wearing a skirt, I don’t anticipate a problem.

       1. Thanks, E and NB! They are exactly as you describe, NB, and I’m definitely planning on wearing skin-tone hose. I think I’ll go for it. Thanks for the reassurance!

    3. Totally fine so long as they are conservative shoes. Nude is a perfectly acceptable color even for the most formal occasion.

       1. I clerked for a state appellate court for several years, and I would never have blinked an eye at nude shoes. Mile-high, bright red patent or the like, and I’d have done a double take. But nude? Perfectly fine. Even if the color is very popular and a bit trendy now, the color has been around forever. It really is a basic. Besides, if your court is set up anything like ours was, the judges will barely be able to see your shoes — you’ll be sitting at a table, and then take a quick walk to the the podium, which will completely block your feet. If you love them, wear them. Nothing to worry about at all, as long as the shoe style itself is conservative, like Eponine said.

20. I was wondering if anyone has tips for shopping for someone who is tall, about 5’8″ and very, very thin, like size 0 or 00. Finding work skirts is not too difficult, but finding pants that fit my waist and are long enough is almost impossible. Also, with suit jackets, either the arms are not long enough or I look like I am playing dress up in my mom’s clothes. Just wondering if anyone has a similar problem and knows a good brand for someone like me. Thanks!

    1. Ugh, I feel your pain. I was a size 0 or 00 for the beginning of my professional career and had the same problems – the only clothes small enough for my waist were “petite” and too short even for 5’4″ me. I ended up gaining weight as I got a bit older and now that I’m more of a 2/4, I have no problem fitting most things. I wish I had some advice for you, but all I can say is good luck!

    2. I am not as tall as you — so I’m not sure if this will work, but I am 0 or 00 and 5’6″ and I always wear Theory or Elie Tahari. (not T Tahari or Tahari by ASL).

    3. I have a similar build and have had the most luck with more expensive brands, unfortunately – I find that Theory and Hugo Boss have sizes and inseam lengths that work the best for me. I’ve had great luck finding Theory suits at more reasonable prices at Theory outlets / sample sales, Nordstrom Rack and other outlet versions of higher end department stores, or on sites like Gilt and iDeeli. I’ve also found that Benetton suits have long inseams and come in small sizes that work – and they usually have good sales where you can pick up multiple pieces from the same suit line for very reasonable prices. Hope this helps!

    4. Have you tried the Gap premium pants? I know some on here don’t like them, but I really do. I’m 5’11” and I’ve had to have the /regular/ length ones shortened, so I bet you could do well with them. They have 00s.

    5. I have a similar problem. I’m 5’8″ and I have a size 6 foot (my waist size is 8, though). I spent 5+ years looking for a pair of boots that approached my knee. Basically size 6 feet are usually attached to shorter people. So a boot that fits my foot is not wide enough (or tall enough) to fit my calf. And a boot that’s wide enough for my calf is far too big for my feet.

       I finally found a pair of faux leather stretch over-the-knee boots that are not, of course, over the knee on me.

       But yes, I feel your pain. The only other options would be to have very expensive custom-made boots designed, but I couldn’t justify the expense for an item that could only be worn 6 months (tops!) out of the year.

    6. Thank you all for your responses. I will have to check out Theory and Elie Tahari, but I don’t know if my budget will work for those brands!

21. Comfortable Basic Pump PSA: I just got back for my local Nordstrom Rack and picked these up (http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/classiques-entier-marcella-pump/3112791?origin=category&resultback=250). These were so comfortable right out of the box and what I love the most is the visible padding right at the ball of the foot. I can see long days of running around the courthouse in these. And they were approximately $10 less in the store than online.

    I also picked these up and they are amazing as well, but that’s the Sofft brand for you. http://www.sofftshoe.com/Sofft-Ferre-in-Pewter-color

    1. I love those Sofft ones. (And welcome back – haven’t seen you for a while.)

22. Hi ladies – new moniker so as not to be too identifying. I’m looking for some advice from our Canadian contributors. My mom, who lives in Edmonton, is pretty frustrated with her wardrobe and is trying to spruce things up a bit. She’s retired relatively recently but I think that she’s looking for what would be considered nice business casual or dressy/preppy casual — things to wear when she wants to go out to dinner or visit with friends. I’ve lived in the US for over a decade now, and I’m not up on the best shopping options in Canada. A lot of my easy go to’s don’t cross the border well (AT, AT Loft, BR (very different in CA), wonderful online shopping options like ideeli, etc.). She likes a lot of things at Talbots, if that’s any indication, though it’s a bit pricey for her. Unfortunately, she’s not very tech savvie and has not ventured into the world of online shopping. I’m going to work on tutoring her long distance on the last point and I think that I’m going to do some shopping and send things to her but I would love some shopping suggestions/tips from Canadian ladies.

    [Of course, I hear this and so many other things late on the last night of a pretty long visit she had with me. I wish she had mentioned things sooner! ): ]

    1. Hi,

       I’m not in Calgary so YMMV, but Bonnie Brooks has done AWESOME thing with The Bay lately. Plus they still sell those Nygard pieces older people like (Nygard himself has been accused of some nasty stuff so it may not be ethically acceptable to buy the stuff).

       Lands End and LL Bean are great online choices (Sears takes Lands End mail-order returns).

       Eddie Bauer has nice pieces too. Danier has nice suede skirts (get them from the outlets for cheap).

       Winner’s is a circle of hell, but some people love it.

       There’s a line called “Joe Fresh” sold in supermarkets (don’t even say it, I know what you’re thinking) that is surprisingly amazing. It’s the new Club Monaco/Old Navy/Gap up here. Great stuff, great prices.

       HTH.

       – Corporette who has faced the mall with mom, and lived to tell.

    2. I have found a lot of cute business casual stuff at Ricki’s (easily found in any Canadian city)…it’s hit or miss on fabrics/patterns but the cuts are good…they are not junior’s sizes, definitely made for women, and they have amazing sales (never pay full price for anything, it’s likely it’ll go on sale) and the SAs are usually really nice and helpful.

       J. Crew orders to Canada usually go off without a hitch – you do end up paying duty and tax (same tax as you would pay in Canada) but I’ve had no problems and I order from there a lot.

       1. Do you know how much the duty is to Canada? I have hesitated because I heard it’s a LOT. I.e. if you bought $200 worth of clothes, how much would the duty be?

          1. I think it depends on what the items are and where they’re coming from. I bought a $70 coat from the US and the duties came to $12. I recently considered buying some Liefsdottir clothes from Bluefly totaling $180. Bluefly includes the duties in their shipping fees, and it was going to be $60 for shipping and duties, I think. Bluefly might be overcharging on the duties, though.

          2. As far as I understand there is some standard rate for each type of good (you should be able to look it up on a government website) but there is NO duty if the item is made in North America…so if you buy something from the US made in the US, there will be no duty. It’s only when you’re buying imported things that there is duty…so something to keep in mind.

          3. 20-30%, depends on where it was made. Lands End’s order will show you the totals. Sucks, but sometimes worth it.

    3. Lands End is good for basics, I know my mom swears by their t-shirts for both casual dress and under suits. She can shop either online, through the catalogue, or at some Sears stores. She can also do returns from the online shop in person at any Sears.

       The Bay has a lot of cheap crap, but if she hunts she can probably find some good business casual pieces.

       Jacob is a great store for business casual clothes, too, I find. The quality is decent, and although it skews a bit young, most of their stuff is fairly classic and she can probably find some clothes she likes. Club Monaco might work too, but is a bit pricey and might also be a bit young for her. I haven’t been in there in a few years, though, so they might have become more trendy than what I remember.

    4. Check out suggestions on passage DES perles blogspot.

    5. Thanks all for your suggestions! I did some hunting online and think these are great options!

23. The DQ by me has a sign up that says:
    GIVE UP DIETING FOR LENT

    I laughed.

    1. Like!

    2. oh how I miss Dairy Queen. I would pretty much sell my soul if they would open one in NYC.

    3. I gave up lent for lent this year……

24. LOFT is having 40% off your entire purchase, plus free shipping over $100! I just ordered 10 pairs of pants, they never have petites in the store by me so now I can try them on at home and return what I don’t like, yippee :).

25. Okay, so I need some advice. My SO, who has been practicing for many years in the legal profession, is increasingly miserable at work. I would love to be able to offer him some type of direction of where to look to “get out”. I know many of you have had some remarkable career transitions and I was hoping you could chime in on the topic. He’s worked in public defense since the beginning and is just exhausted. Is there a good way to navigate this? Are there books to read? Things to keep in mind?

    Thank you!

    1. He may be interested in consulting or volunteering internationally. Lawyers with criminal trial and litigation skills are always needed. Visit http://www.abarol.org for opportunities with the ABA Rule of Law Initiative, and there are plenty of other similar organizations too.

    2. Being a Public Defender is an incredibly tough job. I’ve done it for a while now and am about to give notice in the next month or so. The level of stress is not sustainable in any way. It’s also difficult to manage public defenders, so in many offices, the management isn’t effective. (I’ve worked in 3 different states, and each office has the same complaints.)

       Your SO may be ready to quit the practice of law… but maybe he’s just being dramatic (as we often are), and would be really happy in a lower-stress law job. A friend of mine went into estate planning last year, and will never ever come back to criminal defense.

       Does his office have much turnover? If so, where do his colleagues move to? That might be somewhere to start. A lot of former public defenders enjoy working in a lower-stress small criminal defense firm.

26. Another career change question: I’m preparing to move to a new state for SO’s job. I’m a JD, 2.5 years of practice experience, and I’m not sure I want to keep practicing (at least in a firm setting) right now. I’m toying with the idea of teaching. I’ve taught (a little) at the high school level, and I’ve done seminars (for non-lawyers) in my field, and I loved it. I have thought for a long time that I might enjoy teaching in a small college, perhaps as an adjunct or something.

    There’s a small religiously-affiliated college near the town we’re moving to, and they have a posting for a poli sci prof/pre-law advisor. Am I crazy for being interested? My BA is in poli sci, but that’s the highest degree I hold in that field. Is a JD considered a “terminal degree” for accreditation purposes? Is there a way to try it without (1) hating myself if I don’t like it, and (2) screwing over bright young students if I turn out not to be that great at it?

    Is it worth at least inquiring further? And if so, what’s the best method–an email that says, hey would you even consider a JD for the position on a 1-year contract?

    1. Yes- by all means, give it a try! I have a coworker who is an adjunct at a state university teaching pre-law classes. He absolutely loves it. I had a law school classmate who was offered a position at a state university with the potential to become a tenure-track position with just the JD and an undergrad degree in a pretty specialized area that I don’t think the particular university even offered.

       I think with smaller liberal arts colleges, you’ll find that there’s less of a research focus and more of a teaching focus. They’re going to want someone who is really interested in the teaching aspect, while in many cases that may be secondary at a state university that is focused on getting research grants/funding. The reality is that a lot of people who are great at research may not be the best teachers.

    2. I toyed with the idea of teaching before and during my law school years. I ended up teaching for a large standardized test-prep company, and doing some student instructor work at my law school. It was a good thing I did, because I ended up really not liking it (I’m more of a “let me think about that and get back to you” person, which doesn’t fly in the classroom).

       Could you try it out with an adjunct professor position? And how do you feel about research? I opted out of higher ed because I wanted to do teaching, not research, and that usually isn’t how higher education works.

       FWIW, I think you should go for it. You’re changing jobs anyway due to the move, and if it doesn’t work, you’ve got a lot of explanations for why you tried something different. My poli sci degree at a prominent state university hired JDs as professors, and some of them were really good teachers. Good luck!

    3. I don’t think it hurts anything to check it out! I’d inquire however they suggest in the job announcement. Call the department if you can’t figure out any other way.

       Sounds like it’s perfect for you. I have a friend who recently moved from civil rights litigation to be an adjunct professor in the Paralegal Studies program at our local public college. Why not? He’s happy as a clam.

    4. Future prof, if you’ve taught before and you like it, teaching is a good option. Adjuncting pays peanuts, but a full-time college teaching position is a better bet. And yes, I believe that a JD is considered a terminal degree by the regional accreditors. (See list here. http://www.chea.org/Directories/regional.asp Each accreditor has its own policies.) But if you’re talking about an advisor, that’s not normally considered a tenured position or one that accreditors need to regulate.

       But you are probably minimally qualified. I think you should explore it. You’d probably be a good candidate for an instructor, too, should you choose to go that way.

27. Kat, it looks like we need a post on leaving the law/changing careers!

    1. we had a little one a while ago — https://corporette.com/2011/02/17/career-transitions-aka-ch-ch-ch-changes/ — but if memory serves most of the commenters were wishing me well (thanks, guys!) instead of necessarily talking about how to Get Out. good thought to return to it, though. i’m particularly curious about talking about it in light of all the recent studies about how women still get stuck in middle management and so forth.

28. Can anyone recommend a tailored/fitted high-quality, thick button-down white shirt, preferably 3/4 length or petite long-sleeved? I’ve been searching forever and can’t find a good one.

    1. Have you tried this one for $25 (WARNING: pintuck detail):

       http://www.landsend.com/pp/QueensOxfordPintuckBibfrontShirt~213682_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::WHI&CM_MERCH=search-_-queens+oxford

    2. Brooks Bros all the way! Mine is thick, white, crisp and looks perfect every time I put it on.

    3. I love my J. Crew “perfect shirt” 3/4 sleeve shirt. Thick material that irons very well (I never realized that quality shirts were easier to iron than cheap ones!) and is long enough to stay tucked in.

       http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/shirtstops/classicshirts/PRDOVR~29865/29865.jsp

       I haven’t seen the white on sale, but the other colors go on sale all the time.

    4. Lands End has really high-quality shirts at a mid-range price point. They have a bunch of styles now: http://www.landsend.com/ix/womens-clothing/Women/Shirts-Blouses/index.html?seq=1~2~3&catNumbers=83~116&visible=1~2~1&tab=2

    5. Thanks, everyone! I’ll check those out.

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