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Something on your mind? Chat about it here. Pockets are getting easier to find on workout clothes, thank goodness, and I'm especially excited to see that reader-favorite brand Zella is starting to get in on the movement. (Bike shorts are another trend, which to be honest has me thoroughly doing the old-lady-shaking-her-head thing when I see them styled with high heels and crop tops — but for workout clothes or, hey, as a layer under dresses, I can get behind them.) These pocket bike shorts are $49.00 at Nordstrom, and come in three colors, including grey, black and “black sun bleach print.” Live In High Waist Pocket Bike Shorts Stay tuned for a roundup of sales going on right now — it's taking longer than I expected and I want to open up the weekend open thread. Some big sales of note: Anthropologie, Nordstrom, Zappos, and Neiman Marcus are looking good thus far… This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Since it's a holiday weekend I thought I'd poke around see if there were any good sales on… here are some of our favorites:- 6PM.com – Tax week sale! Tons under $50, as well as major markdowns in clearance, like great deals from Juicy Couture, Three Dots, NYDJ, Splendid and JAG.
- Ann Taylor – 50% off your purchase!
- Ann Taylor Factory – 40-60% off hundreds ofs tyles, plus 15% off with code spring!
- Anthropologie – Extra 50% off sale items! (All sales final.)
- Banana Republic – Everything is 40% off, including 400+ new arrivals!
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off entire site, and extra 50% off clearance!
- Boden – Up to 60% off clearance! (Don't forget to check out our recent roundup of how to build a work wardrobe at Boden!)
- Brooks Brothers – Online only – up to 60% off clearance!
- Express – 40% off everything.
- J.Crew – Online only: up to 50% off ready-for-summer styles, PLUS 15% off your purchase!
- J.Crew Factory – Online only: 50% of everything, even new arrivals, plus extra 50% off clearance.
- Last Call – Extra 40% off everything! Good deals on Lafayette 148 New York, Rebecca Taylor, Tahari ASL and more!
- Loft – Friends & Family sale, 40% off your purchase!
- Neiman Marcus – Online only — shoe sale! 30% off regular prices. Plus, up to 70% off, and extra 20% off sale prices.
- Nordstrom – Spring sale! Tons of new markdowns, up to 50% off!
- Talbots – 30% off markdowns, plus $39.50 cardis. (Don't forget to check out our recent roundup of how to build a work wardrobe at Talbots!)
- Zappos – Major deals on Stuart Weitzman, Clarks, Cole Haan, Franco Sarto, Kate Spade New York, Louise et Cie, MICHAEL Michael Kors, Naturalizer, Nine West, Rockport, Sam Edelman,
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
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- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
anon
How do you break apart a big writing project to make it more approachable? Or overcome writer’s block that seems never-ending? I went to a school with such rigorous writing classes that I came out only able to edit, not able to create original writing. And I’ve coasted by for about 10 years making use of my excellent critiquing. When I do need to write, I use an absurdly informal tone, which thankfully my bosses and internal customers have liked.
But now I’m primarily responsible for writing the report of a multi-year, multi-million dollar research project. I have about 6 months to do it, squeezing it in with the rest of my work, or course. Advice on how I structure this so I don’t completely fail and end up with a blinking cursor on a blank page?
anon
Need more info….is the data collection or analysis done and you are summarizing the results in a report? Or are you also responsible for the analysis? I recommend creating an outline or framework for the report – you probably know what it needs to include…organize it into sections and then make those sections chunks of work. And don’t worry….the framework or outline will evolve and get revised as you generate each section…that’s how it gets better. Set timelines for sections, to generate a first draft, read/edit the draft and create second draft etc. I recommend several final reviews during the final editing process.
OP
I’ve done all of that work, so I do know the content well. Originally the plan was that I would run all the analysis, make all the figures, and then my boss would do the writing. Turns out he’s still pretty busy, just like when it was analysis time in 2018…which is a great opportunity for me, but intimidating.
Inspired by Hermione
Yes, outline. I also find that writing the first sentence of each section/argument in my outline helps, as well as the thesis or key point. The sentences often (always) change by the final draft, but writing them out helps me develop the structure and clarify for me what I want it to look like.
Break it into natural parts and set two deadlines for each- written and reviewed. I like to stagger them (write section 2, review section 1; write section 3, review section 2) instead of write/review 1, write/review 2.
I also find I write better in a location with zero distractions. In law school, this was an empty study room on the weekends. At my desk, there was too much to do that felt more pressing.
anon
Agree with all of this. Outlining is key. I will also hand write sometimes. Obviously it’s not feasible to hand write an entire huge report (although I’ve hand written some 10-15 page briefs before), but this can be really helpful for me when outlining or if I’m struggling with particular passages. Hand writing forces me to be more concise and really think about what I’m putting down on the page and reduces the tendency to ramble or go on and on without order. It also reduces distractions (b/c not on the computer) and gets rid of the blank screen/blinking cursor feeling.
anon a mouse
For me, the hardest part is the beginning. I make a rough outline, but then start writing what I know best, which is what’s in the middle. It’s always easier to work with *something* than a blank page, so start with what you know best, wherever it will fall in the finished product.
Anonymous
Scrivener (software program for about $20-$50) helps immensely if it’s very long. Whereas MS Word is just one long document Scrivener lets you view things almost like notecards and then move them around, make notes about what you need, color code things, etc.
Rainbow Hair
If I’m struggling, I don’t even try to do a good job on the first draft. I change the font color to blue or something (just so there’s no way the bad stuff accidentally gets mixed in with the good) and write things that actually look like “The change to the law – cite?! – in OurPlace is going to impact customers because IDK but fill in a short answer here. HERE I need to put a paragraph explaining what the new law is. Cite that article at http://www.whatever. The primary impact will be … figure out how exactly this will impact customers. Second paragraph on other stuff that could happen!? Parallel to what happened in Canada!!!! Data?!?! Write about some steps we can take to mitigate. Look at Pete’s email. In conclusion IDK conclude something.”
Then I go back and edit and elaborate and expand etc. until I have something good. It’s like writing an outline, but more flaily.
Anonymous
+1 – the shitty first draft is your friend for overcoming procrastination. Decide to work on something that can be terrible for a set amount of time – even 30 minutes and then follow through. Break it up into pieces. Eventually you will build some momentum.
Anon
+1. My mantra during first draft writing is “this doesn’t have to be good yet, it just needs to be something.”
Senior Attorney
Yep. I just give myself permission to write something that sucks. And then I no longer have to face the dreaded blank screen and can go into editing mode.
Anonymous
Create a set of deadlines, starting from the end and working backward. Get absolutely specific, including all the steps at the end of the project, like these:
Final content approved by all the people who have to weigh in (list them all, and build in enough time for them to read and comment).
To Janelle for final sign-off,
To Jepel for layout and design.
Layout and design back from Jepel.
To Maurice for proof 1
Proof 1 back from Maurice.
Corrections entered.
To Grima for proof 2.
proof 2 back from Grima,
corrections entered.
To Howie for final proof.
Final corrections entered, etc.
Allow time in all that for Maurice, Grima, etc. to do their work on it. For Janelle to read and sign off on it. For your busy boss to read it, make corrections, ask for changes, read it again, ask for more changes, and finally sign off.
I bet putting all those dates on the calendar will make you realize the first draft has to be done in, like, 2 weeks, or you’re screwed. And that lights a fire under you and you realize you don’t have 6 months after all. You have about 2 days to waffle around and then you have to write like the wind. : )
Anon
Can anyone recommend a basic etiquette book or website that deals with table manners? I grew up in an upper-middle-class but very casual home and while I can handle the social part fine, I think there are some deficiencies in my knowledge about when to unfold the napkin, what to do with used silverware between courses, etc. I’d rather not embarrass myself when eating out or dining with my fancier relatives. I’d also like to read about differences in dining etiquette between Europe and the US (broadly speaking, of course) since I like to travel there. TIA!
A Good Eater
This is probably too juvenile, but I was given Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teenagers and it was entertaining. You probably have all of those covered, but it’s a quick skim and you can move on to something like Emily Post.
Ribena (formerly Hermione)
I had the Princess Diaries Guide To Life and it taught me everything I know about formal dinners. As well as the following gem: “a princess’s hair can be straight. A princess’s hair can be curly. But a princess’s hair should never take more than 15 minutes to style in the morning.”
A Good Eater
That’s great! My favorite reminder from Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teenagers was that you’re invited to a dinner party for your great conversation, not because you looked like you needed a free meal.
Anonymous
Emily Post. They have a podcast too. My mom was SO STRICT about table manners when we were young. But, boy do I appreciate that now. Shhhh, dont tell her!
NOLA
Ha ha, I know Peggy Post and would totally tell her.
Anonymous
Debretttt
Anon
Having one of those weeks where I want to quit the corporate life and become something fun like a pastry chef. Talk me off (or push me over) the ledge!
Metallica
Just commiserations here…this week I just want to run a coffee shop in Stars Hollow
Anon
I know you’re kidding, but working as a chef, especially as an assistant to a head chef, is one of the hardest professions out there. All the things that you likely hate about the corporate life (workplace politics, stress, long hours) are still present there. And if you’re talking about opening your own bakery or something, that brings a million new challenges that come with being a business owner and being your own chief financial officer, chief marketing officer, chief legal officer, etc. until you can afford to hire those people. It’s not the easy way out.
Anonymous
Plus terrible hours, manual labor, low pay
Falstaff
+1 I have several friends who have left the practice of law for more physical “dream” jobs and all of them have experienced injuries that have made them unable to work for periods of time and been devastating financially. It really has made me appreciate the advantages of earning a living with your mind.
Anon
Counterpoint: I left a physical, hazardous job working outside on a farm to go to law school, developed nerve damage in one leg from sitting cross-legged while studying all day, and said nerve damage caused me to severely sprain an ankle during a Very Important Meeting at my first firm job. This also involved falling on my face in front of client, partner, opposing party, opposing party’s inside and outside counsel, etc. And then I passed out. So. If you are talented like me, you can suffer workplace injuries even when trying your hardest to earn a living with your mind. Also, PSA for the day, don’t cross your legs for extended periods of time.
Falstaff
I hope you like waking up at 3am and getting screamed at by a heroin-addled misogynist!
Skipper
I do! That’s why I’ve taken this job at the White House. #jokes.
anon
I see you’ve met my former biglaw boss.
This made me lol, though. And your point is.. on point.
Anon
Could someone please explain this inside joke to me? I’m serious.
AnonZ
I believe the original joke (from Falstaff) is based on the stereotype that many head chefs, especially at fancy restaurants, are a little bit unstable/hot-tempered, and also doing drugs. (See, for example, the descriptions of drug use in Kitchen Confidential.) Plus, being a pastry chef often means waking up very early to make fresh pastries for the day ahead.
Then the other two commenters were chiming in about other terrible bosses and working conditions, such as in the White House and in biglaw.
(Unless I’VE missed an inside joke!!)
Anon
Thank you! I thought this had to do with Gilmore Girls and I was really confused
AnonZ
Here’s a middle path: take a “hobby-cation”! Take a week off, or even a long weekend, and spend several days DEEP in your hobby. I took a week off last fall and spent a good chunk of every day on ridiculous and ambitious cooking projects, and I took two days off earlier this spring to prep my garden and start trays of seeds. I haven’t been able to take out-of-town vacations recently due to some family/caregiving issues but these have been so rejuvenating and energizing.
I finished each of my “hobby-cations” with some tangible results – a freezer of food, a bunch of baking to share, a garden that is now starting to thrive. Also, particularly after my cooking binge, I was not sad to go back to my regular life – I am not cut out to be a chef.
Curly
This is one of the best ideas I’ve ever read. What a wonderful plan!
Sad Springs
Anyone else here suffer from “spring blues”? Every single April, I get very “blah” and malaised and just can barely get through mission critical tasks at work. My kids are alive and fine except for being yelled at a bit more, but all non-essential tasks at home fall by the wayside. The world feels sad and grimy even though the sun is actually shining. I’m fine the rest of the year. I know this is temporary. Nonetheless, it is very frustrating to go through this and then come out the other side with a long to-do list at both work and home. I’d love to think proactively about how to get through this next time. Which, for me, is October. (I’m a lawyer, so I bill my hours, and I can see the dip in my hours each and every April and October as I go through this.)
Anon
Seasonal affected disorder?
Worry about yourself
Do you have any bad memories associated with the warm, sunny season? I’ve realized that while I like spring and summer, the smells associated with this time of year, as well as the general feeling of being warm, also reminds me of a lot of recent changes in my life which often leads me to feel really uncertain about things, starting around nowish.
Anonymous
Are you getting anxious about surviving the summer and the holidays? That sounds like when we are planning for/dreading each.
Betsy
My husband goes through this! Without fail, every October and April it hits. In fact we’re in the thick of it this week. I couldn’t begin to guess why it happens, but you aren’t alone!
KP
Could just be allergies.
Anonymous
How common is it for a 40-year-old to feel super stiff? My hips and feet ache, my back cracks, etc. Is this the point in my life when I get into yoga?
Go for it
Yes, it does and it’s so good! A nice hot bath with Epsom salts also works wonders for stiffness.
Anonymous
If it’s chronic (not just post-workout or something), then I wouldn’t necessarily just chalk it up to age. When I’ve had problems with my feet (plantar fasciitis when I was in my mid-30s), it ended up affecting my back and knees. Orthotics made that weirdly all go away. And before my celiac diagnosis recently (I’m 45), I was achy and tired feeling a lot. Like the last couple of years. Eliminating gluten (it pains me to say this because I hate being one of “those” people) made a huge difference. I feel so much better these days then I have in the past 3-4 years.
Anonymous
“Eliminating gluten (it pains me to say this because I hate being one of “those” people) made a huge difference.”
So, gently, I just gotta say this:
– If you’re celiac, you must not eat gluten or you will suffer dire health consequences. And…
– People who have a medical reason not to eat gluten are different than people who don’t eat gluten to be extra or get attention, or lose weight or be trendy or whatever. I am one of the “medical reason” people. Gluten is one of my main IBS triggers (it’s one of the primary things to avoid on the FODMAPS diet) so I don’t eat it. When, after a rigorous elimination diet, I discovered that not eating gluten was the way for me not to spend my entire life in the bathroom, I didn’t feel bad about cutting out gluten or telling people I am gluten-free. I’ve been gluten-free for six years and in addition to helping my IBS tremendously, it’s also done for me what it did for you – I have experienced less fatigue and fewer aches and pains. My migraines also got less frequent. Maybe other people wouldn’t have those same results, but I did and so I am unapologetic about needing to avoid gluten.
You’re not being one of “those people” to not eat gluten to take care of your health. I don’t hear a lot of criticism about lactose-intolerant people not drinking milk, right? Avoiding what we need to avoid to be healthy is what we have to do. No need to apologize for it.
DPT
I’m a physical therapist. At age 40, persistent all-over joint stiffness/achiness is usually not normal, so that might be worth getting checked out. However, back cracking (and other joints) is completely normal and common, unless it is accompanied by pain when it occurs. I’m a big fan of yoga!
So Anon
Sending up the white flag: In the last week: I didn’t realize that the 5 year old didn’t have camp on Monday because of Patriot’s Day until Sunday (we don’t live in Mass.); the 8 year old came home sick from Spring Break Camp, puked while the 5 year old ran around without clothes and my mom’s dog chased the five year old (Tuesday); soon-to-be-ex (“STBX”) flaked on picking up the kids on Wednesday morning to drive them to camp because “the power went out” and I completely missed one meeting and walked in half-way through a separate client meeting; and now, I have pink eye. I am so done with this week.
In brighter news: provided that STBX doesn’t flake tomorrow, he has the kids all day tomorrow (8am-7pm). It is supposed to rain here tomorrow, but I need a day of serious recharging that doesn’t eat a lot of money. Anyone have great ideas for how to spend all/part of the day??
Anon
Do a worthwhile hobby (this will vary depending on what you’re into, but something like reading, running, knitting, arts and crafts, playing an instrument, hiking, going to a museum, learning a language, cooking something fancy, tennis, swimming, etc). We just had a good conversation earlier this week about how it’s better to recharge with something meaningful and enjoyable rather than yet another mindless Netflix binge or two hours scrolling through social media.
Rainbow Hair
Wow, hugs. Is there something in the air? My week was a series of minor catastrophes and urgent care and people acting like jerks, though not quite as bad as all that.
I think Anon’s advice above about a sort of concrete hobby is good. If i had a day to myself, I’d work on some sewing projects while listening to the new Lizzo album at full volume.
Anon
Dang, that’s a rough week!
Greet STBX in your pjs and go back to bed. Get up when you damn well feel like it and make yourself a nice breakfast and tea or coffee. If you feel like going out, go get your hair or nails done or shop/see a movie. Or if you don’t feel like going out, get your Netflix on.
If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy, so put your own oxygen mask on first!
Anonymous
If it’s chronic (not just post-workout or something), then I wouldn’t necessarily just chalk it up to age. When I’ve had problems with my feet (plantar fasciitis when I was in my mid-30s), it ended up affecting my back and knees. Orthotics made that weirdly all go away. And before my celiac diagnosis recently (I’m 45), I was achy and tired feeling a lot. Like the last couple of years. Eliminating gluten (it pains me to say this because I hate being one of “those” people) made a huge difference. I feel so much better these days then I have in the past 3-4 years.
Kale - Paging Person Who Posted About Burnout
There’s a poster here who spent 8 or 9 years at BigLaw trying to grab the brass ring, was told it wasn’t happening, and then took a government job maybe 4 years ago in a different city, and is not happy about the pace of work, lack of challenge, etc and is feeling lost or apathetic about the job. I wanted to post a response, but the day was already past and I didn’t think you would see it, so I wanted to send a response now.
I have been in your shoes of seeing my goal in reach, not getting it, and being left to take “any job” (in my case, it was during the recession). I had been at two of the best, most prestigious BigLaw firms and it seemed like there was just no going back. The job I ended up taking paid a lot less, was 9 to 5, but also boring, and I felt like there was no hope for me of getting back to challenging, interesting work where I was appreciated, had potential for upward mobility, and could be happy long-term. But then, I ended up meeting some folks at a mid-sized firm and joining it as a very, very senior associate (our firm does not bring in someone as partner unless they’ve already been made a partner somewhere else), making partner in 2 years, and finally feeling at peace with what I’m doing every day.
So many people think that it’s BigLaw then either AUSA or in-house job, or nothing/leaving the law altogether. I went to HYS for college and law school and so many of my classmates are willing to do BigLaw but were on team “NEVER PRIVATE PRACTICE” after that, as if all law firms were like BigLaw, or some “lesser” version of BigLaw. I’ve found that that’s simply not true. My mid-sized firm may not have the prestige or the pay of BigLaw, but I work with incredibly smart and talented colleagues and clients. We do interesting, varied work and actually see a broader range of issues in my general business practice. I am not getting paid BigLaw pay, but I also don’t work BigLaw hours and my billing rates are such that I can represent large companies and also small businesses.
So, consider mid-sized firms as an option for your future. There are a ton of them and it’s not as easy to find info on them, but if you meet people through networking, you can land at a good one and build your career there. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised to learn that there are may ex-BigLaw folks and even ex-in-house folks working in mid-sized law firms who consider mid-law to be “just right” (a la the Goldilocks story). I’d love to see you land somewhere great and I have my fingers crossed for you!
LaurenB
“My mid-sized firm may not have the prestige or the pay of BigLaw, but I work with incredibly smart and talented colleagues and clients. ”
I think the thing to remember here is … BigLaw’s prestige is almost 100% concentrated among those people who are in BigLaw. The rest of the world sees lawyers as pretty undifferentiated — no one outside your field really thinks that being in a BigLaw firm is “more prestigious” than working in-house or at a smaller firm / private practice. Indeed, it seems that people believe working for a corporation that actually *does* something (makes goods and services people want to buy) is more prestigious than simply being a lawyer in a firm who does something kind of nebulous.
Anon for this
Advice/Commiseration please…
Mid 30s, never married, no kids or desire to have them. Living in LCOL city in the midwest, can’t move as I need LCOL to financially survive in low income industry. My friends are mostly married and happily so. How do I stop feeling crummy when they all ask about when I’ll settle down? I’m interested in finding my One, but bumble offers nothing and the other sites are either for h00kups or religiously-based (in my experience).
It hurts my heart to know they mean well and want the best for me and think I deserve the happiness I have, since it’s not for lack of looking/trying on my part. They just can’t understand how hard it is to find. Sometimes it feels like people who ask folks when they’re going to “start a family” and assume it’s a choice rather than something we can’t control that makes us feel awful for being asked.
Skipper
I think if they’re good friends you win this one with intimacy. Say simply “I’ve been dating but haven’t had a lot of luck. Marriage isn’t something I can just magically make happen, so it really hurts my heart to be asked about settling down like this. Let’s change the topic.”
If they’re B List friends, you might go with something like a cheery “girl, I’ve been dating for years and am sick of talking about it. How’s [dramatic topic change involving them]?”
If they’re not really friends at all, you’re in “you’re so nice to be interested! [subject change]” territory.
And, fwiw, settling down is not a thing. Life is just where you’re at. Marriage doesn’t make you magic. Single people have rich, full, amazing, and complete lives. If you have so many friends who want the best for you that dealing with them is a problem in some way? It sounds like you’re in that amazing and complete life territory now.
Skipper
(I am Midwestern and therefore do not Do Hugs, so “virtual margaritas, you want them!”)
nona
umm….when did the memo go out about Midwesterns not hugging? I don’t think that’s an actual stereotype.
ATL rette
Same boat here, except I’m the poster from a week or so ago who deeply wants to get married/have kids and it’s not happening. So, I totally totally get it. It sucks and I hug you.
I read something on Twitter the other day that said something like “having kids doesn’t “make a family”. A family can be what you want it to be. You plus a cat is a family. You plus a sig other is a family. You plus your best friends is a family. Having kids is having kids, not making a family”
I found it very soothing to think of myself + whatever I want to consider family my family, rather than holding out for The One plus our 2.5 kids. And now I consider myself plus my pets to be our own little family :)
DPT
Thank you for this, I thought I was the only one who got irritated when couples say “we’re starting a family” when they mean having kids. I don’t have/want kids, that doesn’t mean I don’t have a family.
Anonymous
I would love it if people said “we are not just b o ning for fun anymore” instead of “we are starting a family.” But I know that will never happen :)
Ellen
I am like this also. Have most things, but no husband and therefore no kids. I was going to try in Vitro, but Grandma Trudy convniced me that I should NOT try to bring up a child w/o a husband to help (emotionaly and finanacially). So here I sit, still under 40, but getting very close, and no man in the picture that is decent enough and willing to marry me. Sometimes I wonder whether it is that I am to intimidating to men b/c of my legal background and suceess, but then I read about other women who are sucessful who do have husbands and kids. It can’t be my looks b/c I am attractive, even tho I do have a tuchus, there are plenty of women with tuchuses and husbands. I sometimes think that the men I want are those who do not want women with big tuchuses, but that’s not really the case. It just is that they will not MARRY women with tuchuses like mine. FOOEY! I keep looking and hope to find a decent man willing to marry me and move to Chapaqua to raise children. YAY!!
The Original ...
Just a PSA…
Before you accept a medication or prescription from a dr, repeat your allergies to them to ensure it’s not in one of them and do a quick search on your own before taking. I’ve been to the same clinic for 2+ years and casually mentioned my 3 allergies as being glad the new med wasn’t one of those because those gave me horrible issues and I was excited to try something new that might help fix an issue. I picked up the prescription and took the pill as directed. Later, I looked up the med to check if it interacted with my allergy meds and discovered it’s one of the 3 I’m super allergic to.
Pill was too small to vomit up, I tried, so I spent the night projectile vomiting, nauseated, and sobbing. It seems that the clinic switched portals and my medical info wasn’t in the new one. Doc used nothing listed as a sign of no allergy, must have missed my statement about my allergies, and I didn’t research before taking. A very rough night indeed and I feel like garbage today and had to stay in with ginger ale today.
Just a PSA before taking things… I’m normally so diligent but I clearly didn’t do enough to protect myself. Hoping this helps others! <3
Anonymous
Some patient portals let you update your health information online before your appointment. Any drug allergy or medication interaction will then auto pop-up as an alert when your doctor places a new order during your visit. Nausea and vomiting are typically adverse drug side effects, not a true medication allergy. Glad you’re ok!
SF street p__ping
I don’t live in SF, but live in a big city with a homeless population, a portion of which has serious mental health and/or addition issues, and a portion of which is people who are in shelters / awaiting affordable housing / are priced out / are in transition (left BF, can’t afford a place right away, etc.). And I visit other cities in their downtown cores. And I’ve lived in a very large foreign city that has open sewers (that people do use where they have no bathroom to go in).
Can someone explain SF to me? The p__p situation on the streets to me seems more a sign of mental health / addiction issues among the homeless (and not a sign just of people priced out of housing). It is just overwhelming at times, more than any place I go to or have ever been.
Anon
Yeah, SF is a disaster when it comes to public defecation and it’s NOT a money problem – the city throws literally hundreds of millions of dollars at homelessness and drug addiction and street cleaning. In my view, it’s time to crack down on the hardcore street offenders (who are a minority of all of those on the streets) and start actually enforcing laws. It’s too easy to break laws with no consequences here – way too far in the other direction from over-policing.
Anonymous
I understand that SF wants to be humane to all it’s citizens. What I don’t understand is why they don’t hire a bunch of sanitation workers and clean the streets and transit stations more often. That would employ more blue collar workers and make the city more pleasant for everyone.
Anon
Our country is in such a twisted place. The president can obstruct justice without consequences because both Democrats and Republicans are afraid of what calling for a real investigation and/or impeachment would do to their reelection chances (or in the case of Republicans, they’re so far gone in the Trump vortex that they can no longer recognize right from wrong – where is John McCain when you need him?). I am deeply afraid for the future of American democracy, not least because everyone I know wants to check out entirely and focus on shallow things just to get through the day. That is not a sign of a healthy country.
Anon
Girl, there was a real investigation, he was exonerated, the collusion didn’t happen, and it’s not “obstruction of justice” because “orange man bad.”
Anon
He definitely wasn’t exonerated. Mueller specifically said as much. And yes, the orange man is an extremely terrible person.
Anon
The report literally said he didn’t obstruct justice because his attempts to obstruct justice failed. That is not what I would call “exoneration.”
Home hair coloring recommendations
I am at the point where I need to start coloring my hair. Any recommendations for home hair color? My caveats are I’m incompetent with beauty stuff and I have to wash my hair every day because I exercise and have a very sweaty scalp. I realize that means I’ll have to re-color more often, but I don’t want to be that lazy person who only does professional hair color and then has roots all the time. I have medium-brown hair and am getting a lot of silver along my hairline. Thanks!
Trixie
L’Oreal Preference for mature, gray hair is great! It is multi dimensional (their words, not mine) and the color does not look opaque or flat. It gives good shine, and makes my hair feel healthy. That said, I only wash my hair twice a week, work outs or not. If you use a shampoo/conditioner for color treated hair, it will last longer–but it may still fade, mine does, especially in the sun. I use a light brown/dark blond. Good luck!
EM84
I second LOreal Preference hair color. It coveres grey hair and the colors look always natural. Depending on the length and amount of hair you have, you may need 2 packs of color. If you have sensitive skin or suffer from allergies, it is worth doing he skin patch test first. Otherwise, he application is super easy. Just follow the instructions. I usually start at the roots and use 1/2 bottle covering paths Increate on the scalp and the I pour the rest of color over sections of hair in the lengths and massage it through. If you have grey roots, you may consider using a brush to apply the color at the roots (rather then just using the bottle & applicator tomcover the paths) – so you will first create the path, the apply the color from applicator and then use the brush to cover the grey part of the roots. This helps to prolong the time your grey roots are exposed to color.
Other than that, you will need to re-color evey 6-8 weeks. Always take a picture of the color with the color code, so that you can pick the same color next time (if you liked it).
I would invest in sulphate-free shampoo (they strip less color from hair) and a good conditioner/mask to keep your hair soft and repair the chemical damage. I like Wella Professional Elements shampoo (very very good price) and Matrix pro Solutionist Total Results Treat Mask. Before blow-drying, I apply small amount of Chi Keratin Treatment into ends and lengths.
Anonymous
We are living in an era of ugly fashion. It makes me sad that mom jeans, dad shoes and unflattering silhouettes are in. What are your thoughts on the ugly trends? I mean bike shorts, c’mon!
nona
Beauty and flattery are in the eye of beholder, and not everyone thinks you need to suffer for beauty?
Anonymous
Preach! I looked at the pick and thought it was ugly shapewear at first.
Anonymous
+1
Long time lurker
I seem to be alone in this but I think those bootie shoes look like bovine hooves and in the vast majority of people make their legs look shorter and stumpy. I’ve never understood the appeal.
Anonymous
You are not alone, I feel the same way.
Anon
+1! At least we can have longer pants again to cover up the hooves.
Anon
I’m just elated I can find wrap tops and bootcuts again. I never got on board with the skinny leg / oversized top / bare ankles combo which turned my trim hourglass into a balloon on stumps. I get wanting comfort and rejecting patriarchy etc but skinny pants, including all this binding athleisure, are plain torture, and I like my ankles warm in the winter, thankyouverymuch.
Anonymous
I am with you, I hate skinny jeans, leggings, athletic gear worn outside the gym and t-shirts with annoying sayings on them. I am thrilled to see a range of jean cuts, loafers, kitten heels, silk blouses and buttoned up cardigans are all back. I am stocking up for the next time fashion delivers an unwearable decade.
Jenna
First time poster here. I’ve been thinking of looking into Toastmasters and wondered if anyone here participates in this organization and can share their experience. I don’t have a need to deliver speeches but would like to get some tools under my belt that would help in meeting leadership and just generally help me to present myself in a more polished light. I tend to be very introverted but have learned over the years to “fake it”, and I think few are probably even aware of my anxiety when speaking in a group setting. I’d really like to learn how to quell that inner anxiety. So … would Toastmasters be a good place to start?
Anon
Hi Jenna! I spent a year and a half very involved with Toastmasters and it was great. I highly recommend it. For me, the most helpful part was learning to speak “spontaneously” about different topics. It helped me develop my ability to express myself well in meetings and during sales pitches. It also changed how I present myself. I’m five feet tall and had issues with holding the attention of tall men when pitching them at trade show booths. That changed a lot after Toastmasters. It’s a very supportive environment to learn new skills and people are really nice to newcomers. Go for it!
Jenna
Thank you so much! I have located a group that meets near my office and looks to be fairly large and quite diverse. I’m leaning strongly towards checking them out within the next couple of weeks. I keep reading good things. So many folks say Toastmasters was a strong facilitator of increased confidence and overall professional polish for them. I figure I’ve nothing to lose by trying it on for size and appreciate the encouragement!
Jules
No experience with this, but re-post on Monday for potentially more responses. And welcome!
Jenna
Thanks so much!
Anon
I’m a member of Toastmasters for 3 yrs and counting! I love it! IT as improved my confidence so much.
Highly recommend. You can goto any club three times as a guest.. you can also try different clubs to get a feel of what works for you. Most clubs also have free mentoring programs.
Jenna
Wonderful! Thank you!
AJ Chi
For some reason I ordered these faux-leather leggings from Nordstrom. I just received them yesterday and realize I have no idea how to wear them. I normally wear jeans 7 days a week (my office is causal), with Uniqlo button downs during the week and tee shirts on the weekend. I do have some longer men’s t shirts, and some of the button downs are long enough to cover my bum. Can I wear those with these leggings? The only other leggings I own are the heattech ones I wear under my jeans in the winter. Anyone have any ideas?
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/nordstrom-faux-leather-leggings/4674785?utm_source=email&utm_medium=transaction&utm_campaign=T400ShipCfm_041519_productimg1&utm_channel=email_tran_ret_p&sp_source=email&sp_medium=transaction&sp_campaign=T400ShipCfm_041519_productimg1
Anon
Search images for “Kristin Cavallari leather pants.” She seems to wear them often.
Anonymous
Angie at You Look Fabhad a recent legging post with outfit suggestions.
Dagmar
The men’s t-shirt idea sounds good.
Do you have any basic jersey minis you could layer over the leggings? Strategic layering is one of my favorite ways to wear more body conscious things.
Here’s a good example of what I mean: https://dreamingamelia.com/collections/short-skirts/products/mighty-mini-navy-blue-by-dreaming-amelia-and-rachel-brice
That site has some other fun short skirts but they might be a little too dramatic for your taste if your style’s more minimalist/jeans and t-shirts. My weekend style tends toward the hippie/burning man stuff so I’m all about the shiny fabrics and ruffles but I know they’re not for everybody.
P.S. I’m seeing a lot of leggings paired with longer cardigans and knee high boots these days, so there’s another option to consider…
Jules
No experience with this, but re-post on Monday for potentially more responses. And welcome!
Anonymous
For the poster from earlier this week going to the Georgetown conference: I went to the Georgetown Capitol Hill workshop for my line of work last year, and it is more formal. You don’t have to wear a full suit, but you will look out of place without at coordinated blazer at minimum. We had some speakers in the classroom, so I brought a cardigan daily for comfort. It was a fabulous experience!
OP
Thank you!!!