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Ms B
Anyone else see the piece (I hesitate to call it an article; it reads as opinion to me) titled “A Woman Lawyer’s Hard Lesson: You Can’t Have it All” on Above the Law? I cannot pinpoint why, but it really ticked me off.
http://abovethelaw.com/2016/11/a-woman-lawyers-hard-lesson-you-cant-have-it-all/
Senior Attorney
Good grief. She’s in North Carolina and I guess she thinks the whole country is like that…
ELS
Agreed. I live in a conservative, relatively rural area, and have never had anyone (ANY. ONE.) talk about “mommy lawyers” to me. This is with a bar that is predominantly old white men.
I don’t disagree that it’s hard to juggle any time-consuming/emotionally taxing career and family/parenthood. I’ve seen my friends do it, and it’s hard. I don’t disagree that women can be penalized implicitly or explicitly for choosing to have children.
But I think the tone here is off for what it’s actually like when that happens in most places.
Anonymous
Ugh, boring. I have read this exact same trying-to-be controversial think piece a million times over the last decade. The author is not treading new ground, she’s not offering solutions. She’s projecting her experience on women, generally. I’m just so bored with that entire line of argument. “Hey ladies, turns out we were wrong, you can’t have it all. So give up now.” Um, ok, thanks?
ponte python's flying circus
Exactly! I realise what ticked me off so much: if everyone just threw up their hands and said ‘we can’t have it all so we’re going to give up now’ that glass ceiling would remain firmly in place.
I am put in mind of Shonda Rhimes’ glass ceiling speech: https://www.buzzfeed.com/kateaurthur/shonda-rhimes-delivered-the-most-inspiring-badass-speech-tod?utm_term=.clE9exxRXl#.ncQYQrrKqo
“How many women had to hit that glass before the first crack appeared? How many cuts did they get, how many bruises? How hard did they have to hit the ceiling? How many women had to hit that glass to ripple it, to send out a thousand hairline fractures? How many women had to hit that glass before the pressure of their effort caused it to evolve from a thick pane of glass into just a thin sheet of splintered ice?
So that when it was my turn to run, it didn’t even look like a ceiling anymore. I mean, the wind was already whistling through — I could always feel it on my face. And there were all these holes giving me a perfect view to other side. I didn’t even notice the gravity, I think it had worn itself away. So I didn’t have to fight as hard, I had time to study the cracks. I had time to decide where the air felt the rarest, where the wind was the coolest, where the view was the most soaring. I picked my spot in the glass and called it my target. And I ran. And when I hit finally that ceiling, it just exploded into dust.”
Sydney Bristow
After someone mentioned Marie Henein in the suit post a few days ago, I read this Toronto Life story about her. 2 of her quotes on the topic really stuck out to me.
“You just do it. You’re going to f*ck up, but I wish women would stop beating themselves up about not being the perfect wife and mother. It’s all part of the bullsh*t Cinderella story.”
“Women need to be told to stay in the profession. There is a point to this. There is a point to having the vote.”
I think she makes a great point. You can’t have it all if your definition of having it all is being excellent at your career while being the stereotyped ideal of a perfect wife and mother.
Sydney Bristow
My post is in moderation, but an article about Marie Henein covers this issue a bit. I included 2 quotes. They are in the bottom half of the article. http://torontolife.com/city/crime/marie-henein-jian-ghomeshi-lawyer/
Sydney Bristow
After someone mentioned Marie Henein in the suit post a few days ago, I read this Toronto Life story about her. 2 of her quotes on the topic really stuck out to me.
“You just do it. You’re going to f*ck up, but I wish women would stop beating themselves up about not being the perfect wife and mother. It’s all part of the bullsh*t Cinderella story.”
“Women need to be told to stay in the profession. There is a point to this. There is a point to having the vote.”
I think she makes a great point. You can’t have it all if your definition of having it all is being amazing at your career while being the stereotyped ideal of a perfect wife and mother.
Anonymous
FYI, Trump is using the term “big league” when everyone makes fun of him for saying bigly. He’s apparently used that his whole life as a catch phrase. (Not saying anything beyond that, but just letting you know.)
Anonymous
It still doesn’t make sense
During the first debate on September 26, the business mogul turned politician used the expression while speaking about taxes. “I’m going to cut taxes [bigly/big league], and you’re going to raise taxes [bigly/big league]. End of story,” he said.
Anonymous
Tons of people use it like that. It may not be perfect, but it’s a lot better than “bigly.” Anyway, nitpicking people for using words like that is why he got elected.
Anonymous
Trump didn’t get elected because people nitpicked his use of “bigly/big league” but it must be nice to have such a cozy world view.
Anonymous
Who uses it like that? Aside from him.
Julia
Enough people that I knew that “Big League” is what he was saying from the outset? I’ve never heard it used with such frequency, and I find it grating, but I guess we all have verbal ticks.
Senior Attorney
Swear to God, the smug anti-intellectualism just makes me want to scream.
ELS
+1
I grew up in and live in a (two different) rural areas.
When I was a child, it was not OK to be dumb, or to not be interested in learning SOMETHING (even if school wasn’t your thing).
Not so now. I don’t know what changed, but I think it’s awful.
Anonymous
How was my comment smug? How was it anti-intellectual? He’s obviously got something going for him. He’s obviously smart, even if you don’t like him. He managed to win the election when no one thought he would.
Grammar
Bigly is an adverb.
Just because you may not use this adverb does not mean it’s not a real word.
Also, plenty of politicians, news anchors, and talk show hosts on CNN, MSNB, and FOX misspeak from time to time. Obama and Bush have both had their fair share. Aside from the use of bigly, which is an actual word in the dictionary, Trump will also misspeak like many Presidents before him.
Anon
I think people know… it’s just being mocked. But thanks I guess…?
Anonymous
Actually I really didn’t know. I really thought he was saying “bigly”.
Big league still sounds weird to me. I’m from the South though and plenty of people make fun of us for our verbal ticks.
Kate
Kat, I am sure you’ll get some blowback for it so I wanted to thank you for including the pieces from Elle and Donate Bigly. Thank you for refusing to contribute to Trump’s normalization by pretending we could go back to business as usual. Please keep it up.
Eleanor
+1
Marshmallow
+100
WorkingMom
The Elle article made me want to scream. I am so tired of assumptions that because I am ____ I should vote for the ____ candidate. Yes, Hillary is a woman, and while it would have be awesome to see a woman president, I do not agree with nor support 95% of what she stands for. I didn’t choose to not vote for Hillary because I am white, and therefore must be a racist, bigoted, white supremacist who hates anyone who does not look and act exactly like me. Rather, I did not vote for Hillary because I do not agree with her policies. I also happen to not agree with most of Obama’s policies. Now that of course makes me a racist to most media outlets as well.
Can someone please acknowledge that women are smarter than most media outlets will give us credit for? I am too smart to vote for a candidate because their reproductive organs match my own. As a college-educated, white, middle class woman, I vote on policies, issues, and each candidate’s history. For those reasons, I did not vote for Hillary. I am tired of the assumption that women will always vote for other women, simply because we both women. I am smarter than that.
ponte python's flying circus
By the way, that CNBC piece? Is a red herring, because all of those fields are ones that in general underpay everyone.
Anonymous
I Think they may also all be female dominated jobs, which could skew the analysis