Weekly News Update

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  • Racked offers inspiration for various day-to-night looks, like this one that the writer used to go from the Westminster Dog Show, to a party at a radical publishing company, to a dance party at a bar.
  • Racked also explains why tap water may be safe to drink but can also be the bad guy when it comes to various hair and skin issues.
  • The New York Times explores this fall’s fashion trends that borrow from women’s workwear styles of the 1980s.
  • The L.A. Times investigates the history—and future—of the natural hair industry, explaining, that, “For black women, hair is more than a style—it’s something tangled up in history, politics and race.”
  • The Cut offers a New Yorker’s take on Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ style, which has been described as “relatable.”
  • LinkedIn highlights a post by an organizational psychologist that explains, in light of the recent anti-diversity screed written by a now former Google employee, that men and women are essentially the same when it comes to technical skills and interests.
  • Fast Company shares why hiring managers shy away from offering jobs to candidates who they consider to be overqualified.
  • The Huffington Post reports that a woman’s Facebook post about being interrupted by a man who offered to be her mentor, even though he had zero relevant experience that would benefit her writing career, has gone viral. (Appropriately enough, she was reading Men Explain Things To Me at the time.)
  • The Huffington Post also reminds us that our moms—and dermatologists—were right: Never pop a pimple.
  • The Sun offers helpful suggestions for surviving World War III, while Huffington Post Canada says it’s normal to be anxious about the threat of a nuclear holocaust. Lifehacker also posted a nice roundup of emergency preparedness tips a few months ago.
  • Laugh of the Week: By now you’ve probably heard of the man who praised (himself for loving?) his curvy wife on Instagram. Bust Magazine and The Washington Post share some of the Internet’s best responses.

On CorporetteMoms Recently…                                           

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  1. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant. I’m a pre-pregnancy size 16/18 and find that I can still get into some of my size 18 clothes. I feel I am obviously showing. I am interviewing for a new job (I’m a physician), and I’m looking for advice on two things:

    1. Real-life success stories of when to bring up pregnancy and how to navigate maternity leave in the job interview process? With my first child, I was also interviewing while pregnant and had a “full disclosure and disclose early” approach – I wanted to err on the side of full transparency. I feel it totally backfired. I think it was in the back of everyone’s mind throughout the process and, as a result, I was offered a lower salary and wasn’t taken as seriously. I want to be more cautious and private this time. Ask a Manager suggests waiting for a written job offer. Others I’ve talked to in HR have suggested until waiting until the first week of working on the job. Now that this is my second child, I’m much more prepared about what to expect when bringing a baby home, I know I want to return to work, I have a good idea of how much time I’d want off, etc.

    2. Strategies for dressing to minimize the bump while interviewing? I have received the suggestion of one button suit jacket + v-neck blouse/shell to keep focus upward. I’d probably wear this with a skirt over pants. I’m worried about the jacket. Might have to buy a size 20 or something to be able to button it. Just better to wear it open and wear a smaller size that fits better through the arms and shoulders?

    • Haha *skirt instead of pants* …. skirt over pants would be a bad interview look

    • Baconpancakes :

      I’d go with Ask a Manager’s advice. There’s still room for negotiation (ie spelling out maternity leave) but they can’t back down from what they’ve already offered.

      And you may or may not be showing as obviously as you think. A looser top, maybe one of the ones with a pleat at the neckline, with the open blazer, should work just fine. Skirt does seem like a better bet, particularly if you can get one with a little stretch in it.

    • Bring it up at the offer if it doesn’t come up before. If you wait until you are hired, you lose the chance to negotiate leave or other benefits as part of the comp package. FWIW, I don’t button my suit jackets most of the time. I don’t think the same buttoning protocol applies to women’s suits as it does to mens.

      • +1. I think you just don’t say anything at all during the interview stage. If they happen to ask you about it, just state it matter-of-factly “Yes I’m pregnant with my second, I have another one in [daycare/ school] right now.” and then move on. Then at your offer stage, whether you’ve talked about it or not, you can ask about leave policies and pumping accommodations and/ or whatever else you want to understand or negotiate.

        When you are pregnant with a second or third child, I think it means a little less to the interviewer. Presumably you know what you’re getting into, you already have a reliable childcare option in place, and you’re interviewing precisely because you hope to come back to work after the kid is born. The sticking point is really timing of the leave and whether you’re covered, and that’s the stuff to cover during the offer stage.

    • My go-to look when I was pregnant what a black sheath dress and a matching blazer plus a colourful long silk scarf that obscured my front/belly and colourful heels.

    • At 22 weeks I think the ship has sailed on passing as not pregnant. Will you be eligible for leave? Are you going to become a partner in a medical group? Why move now?

      • Don’t want to get into too many specifics to avoid outing myself during a sensitive time.
        Interviewing for non-partner, staff MD position.
        Move is non-negotiable and happening due to spouse’s work situation.
        Due in early December, but credentialing with hospital and state medical board can take 3+ months. Mutual expectation is that job will start in 2018… meaning I’d get no paid leave and probably 6-8 weeks from when baby was born to anticipated start date.

    • Don’t have much advice on the interviewing part.

      On the clothing side – I was your size pre-preg (and am still that size now) and after 22 weeks everyone definitely knew I was pregnant, because I normally have a smaller waist and I looked like I’d swallowed a basketball. I carried really high and there just was no mistaking it. I only gained 11 lbs while I was pregnant but it all went into my belly. Not sure if you’re similar – I have a size 16 friend who carried in a way that no one could really tell until she was over 32 weeks. But if you think you look pregnant, you probably do.

      I would go with pieces that fit your arms/shoulders rather than big-all-over pieces, which can look sloppy. Every time I tried to generally size up into a 20 or 22 I looked terrible. I bought some maternity dress pants from Motherhood and wore my regular jackets, unbuttoned. Dresses also worked really well for me as long as the hem wasn’t really uneven. Dark solid colors will help a lot. At this point (and beyond), there’s only so much you can do to minimize your bump; you may end up having to have the pregnancy conversation earlier than you want to.

  2. Anonymous :

    Please solve a conflict with a friend. I got divorced last year, no kids, and since then I’ve been making a point of doing stuff that my ex never wanted to do. One of those things is international travel. I went on a 2-week solo trip by myself earlier this year and it was amazing.

    I recently started planning a week-long international trip. I mentioned it to a newish friend (I’ve been much more social lately!) who’s also single. She expressed interest so I said she’s welcome to join me. I meant, this is what I’m doing if you want to do the same thing then cool. I think she took it as, we’re planning a trip together.

    It’s become clear that we have very different budgets. Since “we” started planning, she’s proposed changing the dates (I’ve already scheduled time off), not traveling internationally at all, leaving from a far-flung but cheaper airport, or booking a discount trip through groupon or similar (with a suspiciously low price). I’ve tried to be polite – “It’s cool if that works best for you, it doesn’t work for me though. Our trips don’t have to match up exactly!” – but she’s getting frustrated and I feel worse every time I shoot down an idea. Idk how to smooth this over without damaging the friendship. Help?

  3. I enjoyed the Rack article, but I guess I am confused as to why people in NYC pack both a breakfast and lunch for work. Wouldn’t the places you buy your food for home be just as expensive as the food sold by your office? To me having to prep and schlep food kind of defeats the purpose of working and paying to live in such a big city.

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