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– In today's blast from the past: FogCreek Software Blog pulls up an old article on women programmers (which notes that women are a natural fit for computer programming jobs because “it's just like planning a dinner”) and wonders where all the lady coders have gone today. Speaking of women and advancement, The Careerist expresses her outrage at an article in The Economist that suggests that women aren't equal with men because they take too much time to balance family life. (Also interesting reading: a blogger at Ms. JD compares women who quit after taking maternity leave to thieves, and the WSJ's Juggle blog examines a new study on whether there's a “tipping point” that creates SAHMs.)
– Lisa at Privilege wonders why some clothing items are so universally reviled (although hey, I did advise her to burn her scrunchie back in 2009). Meanwhile, Angie at YouLookFab wonders whether leather jackets are acceptable business casual attire, and Sal at Already Pretty considers how one balances contrasting styles.
– Readers traveling by yourselves, stay alert — according to the NYT, hotel safety is becoming a growing issue. Perhaps now is a good time to brush up on self-defense moves that everyone can do, which Lifehacker has helpfully rounded up.
– Learnvest has some suggestions for how to leave your job on good terms. (I offered my advice on how to quit gracefully a few months ago.)
– Lifehacker advises you create a “to stop” list to get more done. Meanwhile, Mint rounds up some websites to help you run an efficient kitchen.
karenpadi
The best self-defense tip I ever received was to make sure to have my car keys in my hand before leaving any building. My friends laugh because I hold everyone up in doorways to dig out my keys but that’s OK.
One more thing, for those of us that drive home at night: watch your rear view mirror for the last mile or so to your house. If you think someone is following you, drive past your house without braking and take a few turns around the neighborhood.
Also, never be nervous about asking for an escort to the car when leaving work or a strange place.
No Drama Momma
Thanks for the links to working parent articles! Always an interesting debate. For the record, the Economist really pissed me off–and yes, quitting after maternity leave is stealing. They held your job, the least you can do is be honest. *This is not for those who intend to work and change their minds. But some companies will make you pay back the maternity leave, or part of it.
Anon
I completely disagree regarding maternity leave. If your company’s policy specifically states that there is a requirement that you return, then that’s one thing. Otherwise, it is a benefit that women earn prior to giving birth and it makes no difference whether they plan to return or not. Company’s have the ability to make the rules on paid maternity leave. A generous policy is just that, and taking the benefits that a Company has offered is absolutely not theft.
This kind of thinly veiled mom-bashing is getting so old.
FWIW, I’m back from maternity leave earlier this year and have the highest billing associate in my group since my return.
SS
I agree with you, but I hardly think it’s “thinly veiled mom-bashing.” The previous poster’s opinion was limited to those in a particular circumstance (who quit after taking maternity leave). She definitely did not paint all or even most moms, much less working mom, with the same brush. Tone down your outrage; not every criticism of what *some* mothers do is automatically “mom-bashing.”
Reader
I don’t have time to read the articles now, but based on your summary, I agree, to quit a job after taking maternity leave (with the intention of quitting at the start of the leave) is to act in bad faith. Should apply to men, too, but most men aren’t taking parental leave even when it’s available.
It’s also only going to hurt other women in the future.
Eponine
Hillary Clinton wore a scrunchie to a public event a few weeks ago, and there was lots of snark about it on DC blogs.
Lisa
Sometimes it seems Hillary Clinton could wear a hitherto unknown piece of couture designed by the late great Alexander McQueen especially for her and there would be snark about it. That said, style is not the woman’s forte.
anon
I just reviewed Ms. JD’s mission statement and they should be embarassed to have published the blog post referenced above. I fail to see how such whining about another employee’s use of a benefit in accordance with the terms by which the benefit is offered promotes the interests of women in the legal profession.
Duckie
Re: the MsJD article and maternity leave:
I think it depends in part on the terms of the leave. At my employer, it’s a benefit that you accrue – you must work for one year before being eligible, and the number of fully paid weeks increases based on your tenure with the organization. If someone’s worked here for enough time to get the full benefit, she’s entitled to take it even if she plans to quit afterwards. She’d be required to return for a minimum of a day, because we do have a policy that says your last day with the firm cannot be a leave day.
I think that if you had a generous maternity leave that was not a benefit you accrue but rather a sort of free gift type policy, and you took it in bad faith knowing you planned to quit, it’d be stealing. But I have never known a single woman who went on maternity leave with the explicit intention of
I think a lot of so-called post-feminist thought sees having children entirely as an individual choice, and one that a parent should bear full responsibility for without letting it have any effect on her colleagues or workplace. As others have noted here and elsewhere, this sounds suspiciously similar to pre-feminism to me.
Duckie
Oops – should say “with the explicit intention of not coming back.”
Anon
I completely agree, esp. with your last paragraph.
Harmothoe
I read the Economist article, and I think what they say isn’t characterized correctly here. They’re not saying that women aren’t equal; they’re saying that society’s expectation that we’ll carry the lion’s share of child-care responsibilities holds us back. I have to agree with that and I think it needs to change.
I didn’t find that Economist article offensive at all, instead I found myself nodding. I’m not married and perfectly happy with that situation. Sometimes people say stupid things to me like, “Don’t you want to find someone to take care of you?” and I just have to laugh, because most of my married female friends have much more of a second-shift than their partners do. I’m fairly sure if I did marry, I would have more work taking care of “us” than I have taking care of “me”. If that weren’t true on average, married women wouldn’t have to make agonizing decisions about career vs. family that often end up playing out in the grim statistics about women in leadership roles. We need to be able to talk about that without the knee-jerk reaction that the answer is more accommodation of “mommy responsibilities”. Why are they “mommy responsibilities” in the first place? Why are the women disproportionately making the career sacrifices involved in raising the next generation? Didn’t the men want those children as well?
More and more women are opting out of family and marriage, and I think these sorts of issues contribute to that trend.