Weekly News Update

19 Comments

1. Love the HBR link.
   I’m on the “Betsy does NOT need to tell Tom anything” train.

   1. The case study link was definitely interesting, but it does seem wrong that either side should be placed in such a tenuous position: if Betsy tells Tom before she gets the job and is passed over, she will always wonder if that’s the reason she didn’t get the job, and if she doesn’t tell Tom, and she gets the job, and then takes a 4 month maternity leave, Tom is placed in a position of having to find a replacement to fill in a short-term, but still substantial gap. Also, from my understanding, it’s not really safe to fly during your last 4-5 weeks of pregnancy, so there’s almost bound to be at least a 5 month gap during which she is unable to discharge her professional duties. Tom can’t decline to give her the position after her disclosure, but he’s still in the lurch during her maternity leave. I honestly have no idea what I would do in this case.

   2. Reading through the comments, I was amazed by how many men and women thought Betsy should tell Tom before he made his promotion decision. The women were actually the most cruel. Gosh, whatever happened to solidarity?

      I’m in the camp that says anyone can get hit by a bus at anytime. Because no one can predict when they’ll be hit by a bus, disclosure after the first trimester is plenty of notice for maternity leave.

      If a company is relying so much on one person that that one person being out of commission would have a substantial impact, the company is poorly managed and needs to do some serious reorganization.

      1. I have to respectfully disagree on the issue of one person being out of commission shouldn’t be a problem. Yes, companies should have a back up plan, but the fact of the matter is that if we, as women, want to be reaching the highest levels of power that have traditionally been held by men, we have to make ourselves indispensible and strongly relied upon. We can’t claim that we want to be important, while at the same time saying you should be able to do without me.

         I’m still not sure what she should do – it’s a sticky situation regardless.

         1. Come on. Women have children- it’s part of life. Our CEO broke a foot last year, had to cancel important trips for a while. A male manager had a surgery and was MIA/drugged up for months. Men get cancer, etc. and I’ve even seen some go away for breakdown type things for a while. Life happens. Companies can rotate someone else in temporarily and figure out coverage- happens all the time for various reasons. Yes, the gap can be substantial. Yes, we must strive to be indispensable and relied upon- but maternity is known with plenty of advance time even after first trimester, so you ARE still reliable. When I told my bosses, I presented a typed plan with a schedule and ideas for coverage/mitigation. They loved it. That I’ll be out for 2 months and have to travel less temporarily doesn’t make me a flake, not valuable, or anything of this nature- it is simply something to be well-managed. I hope you will come around to a different view- if we are painted with unrealistic and unfair expectations, that doesn’t help advance anything in the actual workplace.

            Also, if you haven’t learned this yet, no one is indispensible in the workplace. True whether we like to think it or not- but once people accept this, working around change and limitations feels much more comfortable and can be an advantage- especially to companies to get cross-trained people with exposure to various things- and a chance for the person needing to step out to have a mentee opportunity and groom back-ups/replacements. Being overly turfy or silo’d is not a winning strategy in many situations.

            1. just another data point: people (including men) QUIT jobs entirely on good terms often with 2-3 weeks notice, leaving the employer in a quick crunch to figure out coverage. think about that…and no one thinks less of them for it. Clearly 6 months’ notice for a few months’ gap is more than sufficient. In fact when I presented my boss with the maternity plan, he breathed a sigh of relief as in the instant, he thought it might be a resignation letter and that I’d gotten snatched up by another employer or position!

2. I’ll add two:
   NY Times did a great Best iPad Apps of 2011 feature
   http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/05/technology/personaltech/amid-an-avalanche-of-ipad-apps-the-best-of-2011-app-smart.html?_r=1&src=me&ref=general

   and this weeks Sunday Magazine has an interesting story on how yoga can wreck your body – http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/08/magazine/how-yoga-can-wreck-your-body.html?src=me&ref=general

3. Thanks for posting the Men’s Health link. I am sure that some folks will not be amused by the references to flirting with assistants and meeting attractive women, but I think there is truth to the fact that, once you are burned out, you stop trying to interact with people. So it’s good to point out that having the enthusiasm to strike up a conversation is good for your career.

   1. When I saw the “not flirting” sign of burnout, I about s*it my pants. Really?! So, by MH’s logic, every guy who is not burned out is a walking sexual harassment suit?

      I like men. My office is mostly men. I think comments like this “sign of burnout” give short shrift to men. Men are better than that and can (and do) practice self-control just as easily as women. Comments like that reduce men to “boys will be boys” and really creep me out.

   2. I’m so over my job, and have no desire to small talk with a lot of people, and some have made comments.

4. That Racked list is inspiring me to author “Kanye East’s Definitive Guide to New York Shopping AND COOKIES” on Tumblr. Look for it in the next 36 hours. (:

   1. I’m looking forward to this. What’s your tumblr?

      1. It’s wailingbeansidhe [dot] tumblr [dot] com

         1. OHMYGOSH FINALLY. Also, can you force LL to come back, too?

            1. She stopped by for a minute, and then she was gone again! I miss her!

         2. that was entertaining. I’m also going to have to find this Marimekko store stat because I want that skirt now.

            1. Thanks! You can buy online, too!

5. HBR article: I went through this case study almost exactly in November/December!!! Was finishing first trimester, with complications that could have resulted in miscarriage. Was up for promotion that was supposed to be decided end of Nov., got delayed a few weeks. Was starting to show. Is global company, I work and travel with people across the world daily. Main difference with HBR is my job wouldn’t change, just the pay and level. What happened: I waited to tell my boss til just before the review commitee + just before end of first trimester. He let me help him prepare to make the case for my promotion, and quietly suggested we wait to tell the rest until the decision was made, just in case people unconsiously (or not) let it affect them. His concern was people thinking ‘let’s just wait til she’s back from leave and reassess.’ which, practically, would mean another few years. It got tricky and tight with the clothes, but I remained incognito but for a few trusted people and one who guessed. I got the promotion, with a 13% raise and higher level!! I felt totally comfortable about my approach, did not agonize over it much though did consider telling him earlier for several reasons, was fortunate that he was so fully aligned and supportive, and am so, so, so glad it worked out- especially because my leave benefits are not generous like those in the case study, so the money will really help cover what I’ll be losing on leave.

   Also, my higher level boss immediately suggested that we bring in someone on a rotation while I’m out to give me a mentee, them a development opportunity, and have coverage. It’ll be someone from another part of the company, probably one of the international offices, so they can get experience at headquarters. So supportive and a great thing for me and the company, really. So at the management level, things have been great. The hard part is me keeping up with even office work these days- with the cumbersome symptoms, it’s just so hard not to slack and disappoint, even though they understand. Really, really hard.

   As for the global travel, I busted b*tt all first trimester knowing I’d be out later for late preggers and newborn time. It was some of the hardest toughest months of my life, but I’m glad I did it because like in the HBR the relationships with those around the world are important in my job, and for my own success. Now that I’m more stationary, I am calling/reaching out to many intentionally to touch base more than I would if I knew I’d see them in abc/xyz country soon. Also I am stepping up to host groups visiting the company for various purposes from Asia, Europe, etc. whenever possible. Indonesians and Brazilians came last week.. was on phone with Japan and Geneva today. So while not 100% ideal, it can be worked around temporarily.

   One note though: it isn’t just the maternity leave. Afterwards, I will need to figure out how to travel with baby (bring Mom, nanny, etc.?) or fedex milk home from… Beijing? etc. It’s really more of a year long travel challenge, which for me being new in my dream job is a conundrum that I don’t love. But I am already physically limited, thankful my bosses support the temporary changes, was getting old where I needed to have a kid soon or not do it, and know that ‘this too shall pass.’ Asking women at my company for their guidance has been helpful- bottom line, it isn’t easy. But I don’t want to give up my fun, rewarding and fascinating job- or having a family. Wish I saw a way around being mostly exhausted for the short term, but at least I am lucky in so many ways.

   I did have one tough company situation with travel/preg (well more than one when hiding it).. but after I told the bosses, I needed to go cross-country for important work stuff. I was recovering from a complication and very uncomfortable with travel posing some risk. There were no coach direct flights left so my bosses approved me getting a first class ticket despite policy violation. The company bureaucracy gave me a really hard time- the medical guy in charge of such approvals was borderline illegal, questioning my doctor’s advice and relating his personal complaints about flying- inappropriate. The finance people acted like I had charged a personal vacation on the card or something. It made me less likely to make an effort that requires any deviation, even though it was far better for the company for me to go on that trip, and the money was inconsequential (and I’ll be saving money for trips over the next several months- wayyy more). But the stupid policies and enforcers just did not treat me with respect or reasonableness.

   Anyway, sharing as this was very apropos!

6. LOVE Racked’s list of 38 essential stores….unfortunately, I don’t live in NYC. Would love to see a similar list for online stores/shops.

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