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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 283 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Wool Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. If you're looking for a work-appropriate shift dress, it can be really tough to find one that's long enough — so many designers seem to equate shift dresses with mini dresses! This Prada dress is not only long enough for work, though, it's a nice sturdy wool to hold its shape, and I like the pleats at the hem and on the bodice. I'd wear it with a colorful cardigan for work and some stylish, comfortable flats. The dress is $2110 at Net-a-Porter. Wool dress This reader favorite dress is similar, comes in regular and plus sizes, and ranges in price from $76 (on sale) to $138. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

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Comments

  1. Teen Vogue

    I don’t know if any of your teen daughters read Teen Vogue, but just in case, I wanted to alert all of you to a bizarre, offensive article about an*l s*x (trying to avoid moderation). I, for one, never want an article aimed at my daughter’s demographic to describe girls and women as “non-prostate-holders” or any variation thereof (as women’s bodies do not exist only in relation to men), and I don’t want to read articles that focus on male pleasure without even mentioning the risks and downsides of specific acts for women. This article explains all the problems with the Teen Vogue piece better than I could (link to follow). I don’t read the magazine and I’m going to encourage the young women I know not to either – there are plenty of better resources out there to learn more about the benefits and risks of s*x.

    • Teen Vogue

      Link in moderation! The article is in the Independent if you want to look in the meantime.

    • fake coffee snob

      That’s a shame…I actually follow teen vogue on facebook and was pleasantly surprised by the quality of a lot of their articles. Hopefully this can be a jumping-off point for conversation between teens and parents (the same way my mom didn’t stop me from watching Grease but did discuss her issues with the messages about Sandy changing herself to conform).

    • Anonymous

      I thought the article was great! Teen Vogue doesn’t as a general rule erase women’s experiences at all. In the context of a___ sex, anatomy matters more than which gender someone identifies with. The article did not focus exclusively on male pleasure- many women find a___ pleasurable for the reasons discussed in the article.

      • Teen Vogue

        But “non-prostate holder” is neither an accurate nor beneficial way to refer to female anatomy. If your focus is anatomy and pleasure, then the correct, proper terms should be used, and the cl*toris certainly shouldn’t be completely omitted. I work in health education and you wouldn’t believe how many young girls and boys have NO CLUE what the names of their internal body parts are. It does real harm to obfuscate it even further.

        • Anonymous

          I think the article on the whole was great. It was certainly not perfect, but it was useful and bold and at least someone is trying to give an education on a ___. They had diagrams with the correct terms included! And the cl__t, while Obvi my fave, is not necessarily part of a___. I get that it wasn’t perfect but nothing is, and I think classifying this one instructive educational article as some massive problem is a strange fight to pick.

          • Teen Vogue

            But a diagram missing the cl*toris (while including other organs that are not part of a*al, such as the uterus) and labelled “non-prostate-holder” is not a “diagram with the correct terms.” It stands out to me because of the larger trend in other publications of erasing the proper names for female anatomy. Did anyone catch the publication (from a human rights organization, no less) that wanted to rename the v*gina the “front hole”? I find this trend worrying, especially given the fact that Teen Vogue’s audience is impressionable adolescent girls. Reasonable people can disagree, though.

          • Anonymous

            it just feels wrong to me to be this critical of a pretty good article because you have issues with a broader trend.

          • Anonymous

            The vagina/front hole issue is again, related to transgender-inclusive terminology. From Walker-Whitman, a group that’s talked extensively with members of the community about their preferred way to refer to things: “Many trans men and non-binary individuals do not consider themselves “women” so using the term front hole is not aimed at erasing womanhood, but providing vocabulary for the unique trans experience.”
            There is obviously still a ways to go before we come to a consensus on the best way to address these things but it’s clear there isn’t a blanket right/wrong here, either with regard to the Teen Vogue article or the larger debate about the best way to refer to genitalia in a way that’s inclusive of trans individuals.

          • Anonymous

            It was the Human Rights Campaign. Here’s a link to download the offending pamplet: http://www.hrc.org/resources/safer-sex-for-trans-bodies

            I understand that the publication is intended for transpeople who may not be comfortable with their anatomy. However, there is no reason to deny science and not use the proper term for anatomy. Young men and women get enough bad info from porn. They don’t need misleading, incorrect pamphlets that are concern trolling people who are already dealing with gender issues.

            Here’s the kicker for me. Even if I were to accept that my v@gin@ is a “front hole” (ew), it’s not even the most anterior hole in a women’s vulvular region. The urethra is in front of the v@gin@! For an anatomical placeholder term, front hole is misleading and incorrect. This confusion is especially dangerous because many young women think they pee out of their v@gin@. By calling a v@gin@ a front hole, more people will forget that female anatomy has 3 holes, not 2!

          • Anonymous

            The clit wasn’t included in an article about sex “because it isn’t important”. I call bullsh!t. In s3x with women, the clit is almost always involved.

            The small intestine was included in the diagram. I sure hope you aren’t involving the small intestine in an@l sex!

          • Anonymous

            @Anon at 2:40 – Kinda off topic, but when I met him (when he was 25 yo) my husband thought women pee out of the v.

        • Green Hat

          I understand what you are saying, but I think the reason they used that terminology is to be sensitive to the fact that transmen also do not have prostates, so the article would apply to them as well.

          • Anonymous

            Exactly. It’s completely not perfect. I’m not a fan of referring to women as not-men either. I think there is work to be done. But they are clearly trying really hard to be inclusive. It seems off to me to throw a fit about this.

          • Teen Vogue

            Yes, I agree that was the intention, but transmen still have female anatomy (difference between biological sex and gender identity and all). For those transmen who prefer not to call their anatomy female, it seems like it would have been far better to include a prominent footnote saying “heads up, transmen share this anatomy with women! Take note!” or something that does not define female anatomy in relation to male. It’s simply not that complicated to treat women as real people, you know?

          • Anonymous

            Honestly just seems like you’re looking to pick a fight about whether transmen are really men. Way too early on a Monday for this.

          • Anonymous

            I have a longer comment in moderation but yes to Anon at 10:34. Why does it seem like we have to have this conversation every other week on this site about trans individuals’ “real” gender. Enough already.

          • nasty woman

            +1

            We had a lengthy and similar convo here re; use of the terms “menstruaters” or “people who menstruate” a few months back. OP, was that you, too?

        • Cookbooks

          I might be WAY, WAY off base here, but I’m thinking that they used “non-prostate holder” as a way to include trans men? I agree it’s an unusual label, so I assume it was used for a reason.

          • Anonymous

            That’s clearly why they used it!!! In part, because the article is specifically trying to provide info for queer and transgender teens who often get if nowhere else. Yes, imperfectly. But way way better than nothing.

        • Torin

          I haven’t read the article, and can’t really google something like that on my work computer, but it doesn’t sound to me like “obfuscate” is the right term here. It sounds like you found the article offensive because it left out information about other forms of pleasure while focusing on a__. I don’t think that obfuscates anything, it just offers information different than the information you wanted to read.

          Honestly it sounds like the fight you’re picking is with publications other than Teen Vogue and I’m not sure why you’re aiming your fire there way.

          • Teen Vogue

            I explained clearly in my previous comments what I found offensive. Feel free to check out the article in Teen Vogue or in The Independent if you’d like to learn more. Other women I’ve spoken to about this issue in the past have agreed that it’s discouraging and upsetting to see mainstream publications or organizations use the terms “non-men” or “non-prostate owners,” and I’m frankly surprised that no one on a women’s website agree. To each her own, I guess, but I do recommend checking out the works of Simone de Beauvoir if you’re interested in the significance of describing women in relation to men.

          • Anonymous

            +1 – it sounds like the terminology used in the article was appropriate for the type of s*x being discussed. Where having a prostate or not is a bigger deal than having a cl!t or not.

        • Ellen

          Yay Kat! I love wool dresses, but NOT in the summer. Mine are itchey and I would onley wear them to court if I was allowed to UBER my way down there. But the manageing partner wants me to take the Subway, b/c he wants me to be an example that even Diblazzio does not do. FOOEY!

          As for the OP, I can NOT beleive they have this stuff in TeenVogue! I would very much hope teens do NOT do this stuff, b/c it is NOT to be looked on as favorable. Sheketovits always wanted me to do this but I ALWAYS redirected him to where nature wanted me to. I can NOT imageine haveing men coercing unsuspecting women into doeing this stuff. How awful would it be for men to have to be in our position–after all it is our tuchuses, NOT theirs. FOOEY!

      • Anon

        This magazine is targeted at the teenage demographic, including girls under the legal age of consent. It would be a better article for Cosmo.

    • Shopaholic

      I haven’t read the article you’re referring to but I’d just like to point out that Teen Vogue is doing some amazing work in relation to what’s happening in the world right now and has some fantastic articles about resisting, democracy, protest, women’s rights etc.

      I understand if you thought this one article was problematic but I don’t think encouraging young women not to read the magazine is a great solution – there are other ways to make your displeasure known without cutting young women off from a great resource that may really speak to them

      • Cookbooks

        I agree about their articles on current events. I’ve been pleasantly surprised–they are well-written and very informative.

      • Anon

        +1 I am loving Teen Vogue these days. Can only feel positively about everything they are doing.

        • Anonymous

          That’s interesting. I gave up real Vogue b/c it just made me stabby. Like when they interviewed Jennifer Meyer and she was talking about her friend in SC who has a plantation . . . It just normalized the lives of the .0000001% in a way that was so completely tone deaf.

          I have daughters and they had better safe their $ if they want to have any ladies magazines in the house. I ain’t funding that.

          • appelina

            Real Vogue is fairly terrible, but Teen Vogue is great. Makes no sense but that seems to be how it goes.

          • Senior Attorney

            Yeah, real Vogue is just so tone-deaf these days it makes me want to scream.

    • Anonymous

      I can’t read the description of girls as “non-prostate-holders” as anything other than tongue-in-cheek. I’m baffled you found a way to be offended by this.

      • Resident TERF

        Oh, look, I just arrived. :-)

        I am NOT a menstruator, NOT a non-prostate holder, and I definitely think Teen Vogue went too far. But alas, we must all consent to female erasure because some men have feelings about gender, which is imposed on women by our patriarchal society.

        I’m going to watch some Magdalen Berns on the YouTube and post my peak trans moment in r/GenderCritical

      • Anon

        Wow, I am taken aback at the tone of the comments directed at OP. OP, I’m with you about referring to women and girls using terms that do not start from a male point of view. Yes, the article has merit, and yes, the article is trying to be trans inclusive and that’s good…but wow, such piling on!

  2. fake coffee snob

    Inspired by the doctor question in the weekend thread – any recommendations for an opthamologist (and/or an optometrist – I actually need to find both) in the DC area? Ideally the optometrist would be in-network with VSP but I don’t care about the dr’s network (I have aetna but I’m very unlikely to hit my deductible this year).

    • Legally Brunette

      I really love Dr. Ben Teller in Friendship Heights. He’s an optometrist. He’s one of the go to doctors in the DC area who specializes in complicated prescriptions, in case that applies to you. I am severely myopic and wear RGP (hard) lenses, which many doctors these days don’t have much experience in fitting.

      Not sure about VSP but worth checking.

    • anon a mouse

      I like Sam Stopak in Foggy Bottom. He used to be in-network for Aetna, which is how I found him — he may still be but my plan changed.

  3. Diana Barry

    THANK YOU FOR SPELLING ITS AND IT’S RIGHT!

    I can’t tell you how many publications are doing it wrong lately – I even saw a bad one in the NYT!

  4. AttiredAttorney

    Spotted two-packs of Jockey Skimmies at my Costco this weekend for $14.99

    • lsw

      !!!!! Is there an easy way to check stock at Costco? I suppose I could just call.

  5. lsw

    Does anyone have experience with Flor tiles? For the price, I’m not expecting amazing quality, but we want something under the dining room table that won’t be completely ruined by our sloppy kids. Decent enough for that purpose?

    • New Job, Who Dis

      I really love them! have gone through several iterations and patterns. Nice feeling underfoot (and I didn’t even get fancy plushy ones, but the thinner varietal). Going to a Flor store in Manhattan was SO FUN to play around with them.

      I have a dog and Flors are devilishly easy to clean! I pop the offending square out, give it a solid scrub in the tub with regular soap or with carpet cleaner and let it dry overnight.

      For high traffic areas – I highly recommend.

    • Anon

      We use Flor in kid-friendly rooms, and it’s been great for that purpose. We specifically did a block pattern so we could easily switch out tiles that got ruined, and it’s worked well. It’s a pain to replace tiles in the middle of the rug, but they’ve been fantastic about sending additional stickers when we’ve called and asked. We liked it so much in the playroom that we used it for the kids bedrooms as well, now that they’re old enough to play in there too.

      I think the more ornate patterns still look like square or rectangle tiles, and I don’t think I would use it for a dining room just because I don’t think it looks quite “adult” enough, but I’m biased against rugs under the dining table in general. Especially with young kids, I just think they get gross quickly. Although I guess if you don’t have tile or wood or something wipeable, these might be easier than dealing with existing carpet.

    • Anne

      We’re really happy with ours. I’d recommend ordering samples first because different styles feel really different.

    • Clementine

      Got them for a kid’s room. Love them. We also plan on getting them to go below the dining room table because spills happen.

      We’ve been very happy with the look/price combo.

      • Diana Barry

        Got them for a kid’s room. Love them. We also plan on getting them to go below the dining room table because spills happen.

        We’ve been very happy with the look/price combo.

    • lsw

      Thank you! I had a coupon code for three free samples so I ordered the three boldest colors from the pre-fab set I am considering (it’s called Brunch, I think). It looks a bit more geometric than just the squares (well, squares are geometry, but hopefully what I meant comes through) since I guess they cut some of them in half. Hoping it works well for at least a few years at that price and for that size! Thank you for all the reviews. I read some online and a lot of people had a bad experience, but also people complain about things like “it’s not soft enough” when it’s virtually half or a third of the price of a normal rug that size.

  6. Chicago recs

    I’m taking my 5 yo to a show at the Vic Theater in Chicago. We’re staying in a hotel and will have a car. What’s the best way to get to the theater? Most hotels close to the theater are fully booked already (??) so walking is out. And it looks like parking around the theater is limited and expensive. Would a train or cab be better than driving? I would also appreciate any recs for inexpensive (and kid-friendly) hotels that aren’t too far away from the theater. Thank you!

    • Green Hat

      The Vic is right next to a brown/red line El stop (Chicago’s train system), and since the trains are above-ground your child might enjoy looking out the window at the city, too. But taxi/uber is just as easy if you’re not totally comfortable on public transit.

      I haven’t stayed in too many hotels in Chicago because I lived there, but I did really like the W hotel on the lakefront. It has incredible views of the lake and free chocolate chip cookies in the afternoon :) It’s not particularly close to the Vic, though (although it would be an easy enough cab ride), so someone else might have a better rec.

    • Anon

      Can you find an Airbnb close by? That’s a more residential type area and doesn’t really have a ton of nice hotels. Depending on how long you’re staying, you could stay near the Lincoln Park Zoo (it’s free admission) and just taxi to the Vic. There are a lot of fun shops and restaurants on Clark St (Molly’s Cupcakes has swings, and there’s a Meatloaf Cupcake place) and Lincoln (Oz Park is fun to run around).

      You could get to the area around the Vic early and go eat at Cheesie’s grilled cheese restaurant, or grab a cinnamon bun at Ann Sathers. There’s also a Giordanos on that corner if you want to do the deep dish pizza thing. If I remember right, there’s a small playground just a block over too if you need to get the wiggles out.

    • LoudyTourky

      What time of day? I would not drive but would take public transportation during daylight hours with my 5 yr old, but I’m way more cautious when I have my kids with me. Parking and hotels are limited and expensive in that part of town, so taxi/train/Lyft will likely be a better option.

    • Anon

      Agree that an Airbnb might be easier as it is a very residential neighborhood. The closest hotel that I know is Hotel Versey, about a 15 minute walk away (it has crappy reviews on Yelp at the moment but keep in mind it just rebranded a month ago – it has decent reviews from its Days Inn days).

      I’ve had some luck getting deals at the Hyatt Regency in downtown and also the Red Roof Inn off the Mag Mile.

      • Anonymous

        Chicago’s cracking down on Airbnbs – we tried doing one for later this month (made the reservation a couple months ago) and it was cancelled within a couple weeks. So I actually would stick with hotels for the time being and just do a cab.

    • d;flj

      I recommend the Palmer House hotel. It’s not very close to the Vic, but it is near the red line train which will drop you off almost at the Vic’s front door. The Palmer house is downtown, architecturally beautiful, and near Grant Park (which would probably be a fun place to visit with your son).

      • Minnie Beebe

        A great recommendation– and a 5 yr old will *LOVE* Maggie Daley park, which is a fun walk from the Palmer House. You’ll walk past the Bean, the Pritzker Pavilion, and over to Maggie Daley– it is so much fun! Bring comfortable shoes and sunscreen (there’s little shade there.)

        You can eat at Shake Shack, at the Chicago Athletic Club. That would be a good hotel as well.

  7. Friend in Maine

    Is anyone from Maine (I know at least one regular poster is from there) or more generally familiar with social services that can help someone obtain permanent housing? A former colleague lives there and is essentially homeless. She cares for her best friend, whose medical condition precludes them from staying in homeless shelters. So she is constantly trying to scrape some money to live in a campground or a cheap motel, and this gets really expensive. She can’t afford the first and last month of rent to pay for permanent housing. So she’s in a vicious cycle. She and her friend stay in their van when they have no other option, but her friend is very very ill and seems to get worse sleeping in a van.

    Are there organizations that would provide my friend with a loan? That’s really what she needs right now. She get food stamps and eats meals at churches so she’s ok on food, the biggest issue is PERMANENT housing.

    Can anyone lend any advice, either services that are specific to Maine or just more generally on ways to obtain permanent housing?

    • Anonymous

      I remember you posting about this before. I know your colleague wants to continue caring for her friend, but I’m concerned she’s not providing the level of care needed. They may need to split up. Her friend should be getting disability benefits- is she getting Medicare? Medicaid? She may be eligible for some type of low income assisted living. Your friend can then work on saving until she has enough to get herself an apartment. From my understanding, Maine has budget issues and the Medicaid expansion was not passed- probably not the best state to seek aid. They need to find someplace where they have family/friends to lean on or one that has more in the way of benefits and jobs before winter.

    • Anonymous

      Go to a homeless shelter. Many can provide advice. But she won’t be getting a loan for permanent housing. Her friends needs to be getting disability benefits.

    • Anon

      I went to law school in Maine. The Cumberland Legal Aid Center might have some resources for her. Also, I highly recommend they check out the local community health center (an FQHC). They should have social workers that help with obtaining disability benefits. No one is going to give them a loan. They may help the disabled friend get benefits. I’m struggling to understand what kind of disability allows one to live in a van but not stay in a homeless shelter. Catholic Charities and Lutheran Charities do a lot of refugee resettlement so they have resources for temporary housing. She might want to try there as well.

      • Pen and Pencil

        Just off the top of my head, if the friend is at all immuno-compromised a shelter could be really dangerous, and while a van is not ideal at least she is only sharing germs with the same person most of the time.

        • Anon

          Thanks for the reply. After re-reading my comment, it sounds like I didn’t believe OP and that’s not my intent. I want to offer suggestions but was getting stuck on what suggestions would work with the disability – which is why I wrote what I wrote.

          • Pen and Pencil

            I didn’t read your reply like that at all, I actually thought your comment was quite helpful! I was trying to help you help her by guessing what kind of ailment would prevent her from staying in a shelter.

            Has she tried contacting a foundation for what is causing her immune system to be compromised? For example if she has lupus the Lupus Foundation, etc. They would probably know the best social workers and routes to get on disability (and/or low cost or free treatment so she does not need to go on disability).

            I am also confused as to if one or both of these people are working? The immunocompromised friend might be able to look into jobs that could be done over the internet. That way she could be pulling in some money without compromising her health.

        • OP

          Yes, that’s exactly right — she’s immuno compromised.

          I appreciate all of your thoughts. While I agree that she needs to put on her own oxygen mask first, her best friend is essentially like her sister and this friend has no else in the world to call her family (orphaned, bad foster family, etc.). She could never abandon her.

          She’s already tried the St. Vincent/Lutheran/CC route, they have been helpful in some respects but not on housing which is the critical issue.

          If anyone has other ideas please share them. Thank you.

    • Coach Laura

      Can she go to Catholic Family Services, Jewish Family Services or Lutheran family services or St Vincent de Paul and ask for first/last/rent deposit help? Even some churches have homeless outreach. (Being religious isn’t required.) You could try calling around from where you are.

    • Silvercurls

      This may be thinking way. way too far out of the box, but would your former colleague and her friend be open to living out their days as members of a religious community? This could be anything from a formal, church-affiliated convent or abbey to some sort of unaffiliated organization that exists to serve and shelter people facing terminal illness or long-term bad health.

      I have no idea whether they could continue to draw on Social Security or Medicare/Medicaid benefits (if they have them at present) and I’m certainly not suggesting they join a place with beliefs antithetical to their own. However, they might be able to help others by sharing in the prayer/spiritual life, or praying for others.Perhaps the friend’s immuno-compromised condition would even improve a tiny bit if she were somewhere safe, nurturing, and stable. Perhaps they would both be able to work remotely.

      Whatever happens, good luck to them and good wishes to you as you help them find a solution (or several solutions).

  8. Self-Assessment

    During my 6 month probation period, I am expected to have monthly one-on-one meetings with my supervisor. Our first meeting is this week, and she requested that I complete a self-assessment beforehand using the supervisor evaluation form. I understand that self-assessments are pretty standard, but I’m finding it very difficult to complete.
    Since it’s summer and I work in higher education, I’ve had very little work to do so far. A lot of my time has been spent completing my new hire housekeeping, and I’ve struggled to stay busy during the workday. I know that things will pick up in the next month or two as the new school year starts, but I would love any suggestions for how to best write self-assessment answers about things like productivity, timeliness, and work habits when I feel like I really haven’t done very much here yet.

    • Anonymous

      I’d just acknowledge that you’ve been slow due to time of year and that you’re looking forward to being busier/more productive during the coming months. I’m sure your supervisor understands that you’re slower than normal due to the time of year.

    • Anonymous

      Unless I’m misunderstanding, you’ve been there less than a month? I think it’s fine to say your plate is not full yet and you look forward to taking on more projects as you settle in and things get busier. Nobody expects a brand new employee to be super productive.

    • Coach Laura

      I would emphasize what you’re doing to build a strong foundation for the upcoming academic year. Learning about department, school. Meeting people with whom you will be working. Organizing files. Getting to know computer shared files.

      If you’re going to be using Excel or Word or Access, you could take a free online class to improve your skills. Put something future oriented into the review.

    • Also in Academia

      Is it asking for “just this job” info or “you in general” info? These types of things, if you can comment on yourself in general/past work, can be really helpful in letting your supervisor know how you communicate things, how you like to organize your day, the most effective way to communicate with you, how your supervisor can support you, and so forth. I know this probably sounds strange to those in non-higher-ed, but in higher ed at least all these things can be part of the supervisory relationship, and it is expected that supervision is a two-way street. Your supervisor probably just wants to get to know you!

  9. LAnon

    I really messed up this morning! I’ll be in Chicago next month and hope to see Hamilton. I went online this morning to search for tickets, found some great ones and purchased them. Wasn’t until I got the confirmation email that I realized they are for July 11, not August 11. (Where things went wrong: I clicked August 11 on the calendar view, but it just took me to a listing of all upcoming shows.)

    I’m pretty much screwed at this point, right? I’m thinking there’s no way I’ll be able to resell these tickets for tomorrow. I’m on hold with Ticketmaster but their website says no exchanges within 7 days of an event.

      • LAnon

        I’m not so sure about that – there are plenty of tickets still available from the theater and others up on Stubhub; I guess I could just price them way below face value.

        • Sharon

          I wouldn’t try pricing way below face value because Hamilton tix are a hot commodity. Also, I live in Chicago and happen to have no plans tomorrow so I may be interested! Feel free to email me at corporette956@gmail.com!

        • Anonymous

          Yeah…the market for the Chicago tickets is going to be different than the New York tickets (CHI has a bigger theater, it’s not Broadway-Broadway, etc.)

      • LAnon

        Thank you!! I just called the box office directly at the theater – they are going to call me back re: exchanging once someone else gets into the office, so I am keeping my fingers crossed. I will let you know as soon as I hear back.

      • LAnon

        UPDATE: I just heard back from the box office – they were super helpful and able to get me switched to tickets for next month. Thank you both though!

    • Chicago Attorney

      Call the box office and explain your mistake. I’ve made similar goofs a number of times at different theaters and they’re often able to exchange despite the written policy if you are polite and they have the flexibility.

    • Linda from HR

      Woah, I’m surprised you managed to get tickets for tomorrow’s performance of Hamilton, I assumed those tours sold out within minutes of the tickets going on sale. Do they release a small batch the day before?

      (tickets for my city haven’t gone on sale yet, so now I have hope that maybe – just maybe – I’ll actually be able to get tickets)

      • Anon

        Yeah they’re available but they start around $200 a seat if you’re lucky. Weekend performances are closer to $300 a seat. So yes if money isn’t an object, you can absolutely get last minute tickets.

        Most shows, including Hamilton, do a day-of lottery for a handful of tickets for really cheap, like $10 a seat. But the odds are almost zero that you’ll get those. I think NYC has 40 seats available for each show, and something close to 10,000 entries. Since most people buy two seats, that’s 20 slots out of 10K people. Not likely.

        • Case

          in Chicago, you can walk up to the box office day-of and may be able to get Hamilton tickets at face value. It’s a risk that you won’t get them, but I’ve known at least two groups that did so (separately and on different days) on a whim & were able to go to the show that evening

  10. Two Cents

    Any suggestions on a weekend destination from Washington DC that is nature-oriented and enjoyable for toddlers? Just somewhere beautiful where we could take some walks and enjoy the scenery. We have some family visiting from out of town and would like to take them to a nearby destination, as they have done the touristy thing in DC several times. Somewhere within 2-3 hour drive. We recently did Deep Creek Lake, so not that. We don’t want to do the Delaware beaches either. I was thinking Harper’s Ferry since it’s close, but not sure what there is to do with young kids.

    Any ideas would be appreciated!

    • Idea

      The national parks in Virginia area, Maryland area. Manassas is in Virginia, though I can’t spell it and I now we’re proofing posters’ spelling today. Sandy Point State Park is a beach in Maryland. Prince Williams National Forest. There’s a big mountain in Maryland – Sugarloaf? That I think has a winery or 2 nearby. Vinyard, I guess. Winery? Vinyard? Also Gaithersburg Maryland has some great public parks, too.

    • AnonyM

      Is this for a day trip or an overnight stay? A lot of people at my firm who have kids like going to Lake Anna in VA. I think Harper’s Ferry would be nice if you want to take pretty walks and enjoy the scenery. The town of Staunton, Va is also cute and close to Shenandoah.

    • nuqotw

      Day trip to the beach at Sandy Point State Park (never been but heard good things) or Terrapin Beach Park on Kent Island (our toddler who happily played in the sand and went wading the the Chesapeake Bay).

    • Two Cents

      Thanks all! I should have specified that we’re for looking for some place where we could stay overnight for 2-3 nights. Great Falls for example is great, but too close to where we live and it wouldn’t make any sense to rent a house in that instance.

      • Anonymous

        Chincoteague is nice if you like beaches but don’t want a typical developed beach. There’s no boardwalk and you’re not going to stay on the beach, but there’s a lot of nature, horses (keep your distance), kayaking, biking, shell collecting, etc.

      • Katie

        How about Frederick, MD? There’s a very cute historic downtown with lots to explore, but further out are some B&B’s and large parks and I think it’s beautiful. Also a good bit cooler and less muggy than DC.

    • Anonymous

      Wintergreen, VA. Stay in official Wintergreen housing and you can use the pool, take chair lift rides, go to the lake (which has a real sand beach), and of course hike. Plus you can do the wineries and breweries, which all have great places for kids to run. I like Wild Wolf Brewery especially with kids as they have a bounce house and play area.

  11. Personal hotspot suggestions

    Personal wifi hotspots suggestions? I’m going to start traveling quite frequently for work – mix of train, air, and driving and would like a personal hotspot to stay connected to the office on a regular basis. I was thinking of going to AT&T (my cell provider) and getting something there. Thoughts?

    • Anonymous

      Get whatever your office will provide – typically they should pay for it, along with your work cell phone. I’ve had both AT&T and Verizon hotspots and both are fine.

    • Anonymous

      Sprint just gave us 3 lines of unlimited talk, text and data plus 10 GB of Hotspot data per each of the 3 lines for $100/mo pre-tax. I agree that your office should pay, but if not then talk to your current carrier and see what their offers are. I didn’t even ask for Hotspot data and they offered it up.

    • Torin

      You can use most reasonably recent smartphones as a hotspot, as long as you pay for the data.

  12. Wear Everything Challenge

    Good morning! Are you on track to wear Everything in your closet by the end of summer?

    I’m getting close on the work wear front. I’ve gotten rid of several things and have made some new outfits around forgotten/neglected items.

    This weekend in the spirit of the thing I wore a pair of sandals (dansko) I’ve had for around 3 years and rarely wear. At first when I put them on I thought, wow, another find. These are cute and comfy and I should be wearing them. But by the end of the day I realized why I don’t wear them. They have an instep strap that really cuts into me. They are not right for my feet.

    Before this challenge I would have put them back into my closet with some kind of rationale that I would wear them someday. But realistically they are always going to hurt my feet. I put them in the bag for goodwill.

    How’s the challenge going for you?

    • Trying to Purge

      I am on track to wear everything in my closet by the end of summer (but only because summer ends in November or so in LA). I have too much stuff. I’ve tried culling but it’s hard to justify donating something I like just because I have accumulated too much stuff.

      Today I am wearing a very lightweight cotton shirt dress with some detailing that always strikes me as a bit twee BUT I get lots of compliments, it’s office appropriate and it’s cool in the heat. I can never figure out what shoes to wear either. Flats looks a bit prim, sandals look too informal with the cut of the dress (before the flaming begins, sandals of all varieties except flip flops are completely acceptable on women in my business casual office).

      So far I have purged nothing :( But I did cull the worst offenders when I moved so there isn’t anymore low hanging fruit to purge.

    • Rainbow Hair

      I was on vacation for a bit so everything was thrown off (because I was wearing the same three things for 10 days — don’t worry I had laundry access!) — but now I’m back on track!

      I’m wearing a dress that’s just ok… I attacked it with my fabric shaver, which makes it better, but I think I just fundamentally don’t like the texture that much. It’s kind of almost brocade-y, but very matte? Oh the description says “jacquard” (link to follow). Anyway, I suspect it will stay in my closet because it’s easy to wear and packs well.

      Most exciting thing: last night I reorganized the work section of my closet so that the have-worns are in the back and the not-yet-worns are in the front to motivate myself!

    • Anonymous

      They look awfully similar to the very trendy Addidas Supergas. Honestly I would consider coloring the Cole Haan label green with a sharpie or fabric marker so they look even more like them and calling it a day.

      I would wear them with liner socks and jeans/crops, or casual/sporty skirts.

      • Meh

        I don’t like these much. Like a lot of Cole Haan shoes these miss the mark for me. I like the Supergas a lot better. I agree with the poster who said you should return them. Nordstrom has an excellent return policy for times like this.

        I have foot problems and I struggle to find fashionable, non-frumpy, work-appropriate shoes. So I get comfortable feet. Not these though.

        • Anonymous

          It didn’t even occur to me that you could return them but if that is an option after wearing them all afternoon, then of course do that rather than DIY.

    • Anon

      I see what you mean about the looks of those sneakers. I could not pull them off as I am 52 and it would do nothing but confirm the old lady stereotype.

      Are you young? If you are young and the rest of your outfit is young and on-trend you’ll be able to do it.

      But honestly I’d return them if you are older.

    • Cute sporty shoes!

      Not sure what context you want to wear them in, but I think they’d be cute with casual dresses and skirts for the weekend (including maybe a more casual version of the Tahari dress linked). I also think you could wear them with shorts, if you’re a shorts person, though I picture them with something shorter than Bermudas. I don’t picture them with pants but maybe someone else will have good ideas on that front.

      • Winter

        As long as the rest of your outfit is on point, I don’t think these shoes would age it. But I agree — I don’t see them with pants — just with something that’s light and summery.

    • S

      No sharpies. Wow….

      I’d wear with athleisure bottoms. Like Athleta’s chelsea cargos or options that aren’t leggings but more pant like.

    • Anon

      Depends on how you style them. If you’re a chic, trendy 22 year-old you’re probably good. If not, yeah, they’re pretty grandma.

    • SF in House

      Thanks for the confirmation. I’m late 40s, so grandma is a real fear. I did wear them, so feel like a return is not ethical. That’s the problem with desperation shopping!

    • BankrAtty

      Are these your commuting shoes? They’re fine, I don’t care how old you are. They’re on trend and they’re not meant for running. You’re overthinking this; keep the comfortable shoes.

      • Miz Swizz

        That’s a good point. Keep the comfortable commuting shoes and change if you have something important going on. They kind of remind me of Ked’s, which I think are still on trend?

  14. Anonymous

    Downtown Frederick is charming and walkable, shops and places to lunch. There’s the weinburg theatre there too and depending on when you are in town, you may be able to catch a show or speaker. There are walkable areas and baker park closeby, again also sometimes movies in the park.

  15. Horseback riding

    I have been following the recent posts about horseback riding with interest. I always wanted to ride when I was a kid, but never could, and I’m wondering if I can start now. The catch is that I’m heavier than I’d like to be (220 – down 30 lbs from my peak). I’m happy with my progress and feeling okay about my body, but I have heard that being heavier can make it harder to ride because not all horses can handle heavier weights (plus, I’m sure I would be self-conscious about it if I needed to be put on a special horse). Does anyone have any thoughts on whether I can pursue this or whether it makes sense to wait until I’m a bit lighter? I would just want to do it for fun, of course, but I want to make sure it actually will be!

    • Anonymous

      Don’t men ride horses? There are a lot of men in the 220 lb area. I bet you’ll have lots of options for horses.

    • CountC

      Generally speaking, horses can comfortable carry about 20% of their body weight. Assuming your run of the mill horse weighs 1200 lbs, that’s 240 lbs of human + gear. IMO, it’s not even so much the weight, it’s how the person on top is balanced, positioned, and all that. A good instructor will help you with all of that and make sure you are not over-faced and uncomfortable yourself while up top and you’ll be fine! Definitely explore the barn options in your area. Lesson barns usually have a good range of horses, both in size and capability. :)

    • Winter

      I’m in the same weight range as you, and recently went riding with a group of colleagues. They had a lovely horse for me (and everyone else in the group), but I’ll admit it was more than a bit embarrassing when they circulated a piece of paper at the beginning for us to write down our weight so they could best assign horses. If this will be sensitive for you, too, maybe considering calling ahead and making arrangements in advance so that you know you will be comfortable.

      That said — I had a wonderful time, and would consider taking this up more seriously!

    • anon

      There are a couple of people in my riding class who appear to be in that weight range and they are excellent rides. Weight does not appear to be an impediment to being an excellent rider. Go for it!

    • Coach Laura

      The replies to horseback riding are why I love this s!te. My SO is 220 and it’s not a problem with the right horse.

    • AnonZ

      I have worked at a horseback riding camp for kids, and a dude ranch as a “wrangler”. We had a 200-lb limit at the camp because, being a children’s camp, most of our horses were all the small side. The weight limit at the ranch was 300 lbs since we had a wider range of horses and most of our guests were adults.

      I’ll just second what Winter said about needing to share your weight with the barn staff. It is a standard question that most stables will ask, and they are not asking you to shame or judge you. We had a lot of guests in your weight range, and plenty of men who were much heavier.

      They may also ask that you use a mounting block. Again, this is not an attempt to make you feel bad, it’s just easier on the horse’s back, especially since you are likely to be on a taller horse. I had a lot of debates with people who were embarrassed for some reason about using a mounting block, which is so silly. Most adult riders I know prefer to use a mounting block if there is one around.

      • CountC

        On the mounting block point, it’s a good idea to use one no matter how much you weigh. This prevents stress on both the horse’s back and the saddle. I am pretty small and I would never get on from the ground even though I could if I really wanted to, so please do not let a mounting block suggestion get anyone down!

    • emeralds

      Just chiming in to say that you’re fine! Just make sure that your instructor is aware of your weight so that they can assign you an appropriate horse. And don’t worry that your horse is going to be a like, special model for people who weight 220 lbs. People choose different breeds for all sorts of reasons. I’m lighter than you and used to regularly ride a giant draft who weighed at least 1,300 lbs. Drafts and draft crosses are also calmer and often great beginner horses, anyway! No one’s going to be looking at you strangely, even if a heavier draft-type horse does end up being the best fit for you. And finally, lots of men are over 200 lbs and lots of men successfully ride lots of horses. You’ve got this. Enjoy!

      • cbackson

        Love draft horses, although as someone who leads for special-needs individuals, if a draft horse don’t wanna go, he ain’t gonna go. A thing that happened regularly:

        Me to Horse: Walk on!
        Horse: —
        Me to Horse: Come on, buddy. *kiss noise* Let’s go! Walk on!
        Horse: [silence, vaguely amused expression]
        Instructor: cbackson! Just get him going! Show some authority so he respects you!
        Me to Horse [attempting authoritative voice]: Let’s go! Walk on! *tugs bridle* *taps horse with dressage wand* *more kiss noise*
        Horse: [continued silence, clearly entertained by my efforts]
        Student: [notices what’s happening, lightly taps horse on the neck, which is the signal for “walk on” for nonverbal students]
        Horse: [happily starts walking, tosses head to signify entertainment/victory over cbackson]
        Student: [hugs horse]
        Me: [sigh]

        • CountC

          Hahaha! You could put Appaloosas and most ponies into this “I do what I want, when I want to, and you can’t make me otherwise” category. :)

        • Blonde Lawyer

          I love this. Maybe he sensed his rider wasn’t ready yet and was waiting for the signal from him. :)

          • cbackson

            I do love it when the horse starts taking cues from the student and not the leader – it’s so awesome. And this draft horse (now retired, sadly!) was definitely much more experienced with therapeutic riding students than I am :-)

    • Horseback riding

      Thank you everyone! It sounds like I can go for it. I don’t mind sharing my weight (with the trainer, anyway – wouldn’t want to pass a paper around a group…). My weight stopped me from doing things for a long time and I’m ready for that to change.

      • emeralds

        Way to go! Please report back about your horseback riding adventures! I’m not riding now for a variety of reasons, so I’ve loved all of the people who are talking about getting into it and am totally living vicariously through everyone else.

  16. Prime Day

    Anybody have anything they hope to score on PrimeDay? I’m in the market for new nonstick pans and headphones for running. Currently trying to figure out how to have it sort by a list of items I’m watching, and hoping the deals are better than last year…

    • Anon

      Can someone please explain to me how you’re supposed to keep up with Prime Day? Also, wasn’t Prime Day a huge disappointment last year?

      I love Amazon, but this seems like a lot of work. Kind of like the sample sale websites (Gilt, etc.) that I stopped visiting because they stressed me out.

      • AttiredAttorney

        I added a bunch of things to my shopping cart last night. I will hit refresh on it a couple of times this week. If anything drops in price significantly, I will buy it.

    • Anonymous

      I was coming here to explain the same. Can someone explain Prime Day to me? I’m suddenly in the market for a new TV and I imagine Prime Day is a good time for that sort of thing.

      But it starts at 9 pm and goes 30 hrs – does that mean I need to be checking for deals all night long?? Or are there certain things that will just be “on sale” the whole time? Do they only offer things in limited quantities — i.e. Black Friday a few yrs ago where WMT would advertise TVs for $10 and have 2 of them in store?

      And do you have to have the app for this or is the website enough?

      • Prime Day

        You can definitely just use the website, but it sounds like the app will give you a notification when something you marked as watching is about to go on sale. I’ve played with it for a while and haven’t been able to get it to give me a “watch list.” If someone knows how please share!

        For finding something specific you can look through some product groupings. A TV it looks like it would be included in “Techies” on the PrimeDay landing page.

    • Lana

      Can you post back when you figure out how to do that? I’m thinking about buying a Roomba and would love it if they went on sale, but I don’t know how to figure out if they will or how to “watch ” them. I’ve added every model to my list, but there has to be a better way to watch the prices, right?

    • Anon

      There is camelcamelcamel.com for price tracking, but I’m not sure how quickly it updates you once a price is changed.

    • Anonymous

      There is camelcamelcamel.com for price tracking, but I’m not sure how quickly it updates you once a price is changed.

      • anon a mouse

        If there is a Wegmans near you, ours had wheeled coolers at great prices (all price points – $20-200) this weekend.

    • anon

      I have things on a wishlist. If it’s an item sold by amazon rather than a 3rd party vendor, it’ll tell you if the price goes down from the price it was when you put it on the list.

      Also, my husband works at amazon and he calls prime day “amazon’s yard sale”. That about sums it up. You can get super lucky if you’re looking for what they’re selling, but it’s all so random.

    • Linda from HR

      A new pair of headphones. Not earbuds (although a spare pair or two is probably a good idea), but a big pair that goes over my head. Not sure what brand, though. I got a set of Bose headphones for Christmas but recently they started skipping, or whatever you call it when they miss a hot second of music here and there.

      Protip, a few days ago I noticed they had some heavily discounted movies, many of which were old school Disney channel movies like Zenon and Cadet Kelly. If you liked those movies, may be worth seeing if they’re still on sale, they were like four dollars when I was browsing.

  17. Tidying

    I posted a couple of weeks ago about being inspired by all the people wearing everything in their closets and throwing out what they don’t love. As suggested by quite a few, I read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Okay, so I’m in. I want to do it. But how do you deal with clothes when you fluctuate sizes? I’ve recently lost weight, so a lot of my closet isn’t sparking joy right now because things are too big. And it’s actually really frustrating trying to get dressed in the morning when half of what I pull out just doesn’t fit. But based on my personal history, there’s a decent chance I may be needing to wear the larger size of clothes again at some point. Any thoughts?

    • Anonymous

      Put them in a tupperware container in your basement/storage closet. Retrieve them when you need them.

    • anoniest

      I’ve not read Kondo, so maybe this doesn’t comply, but I’d put that stuff on a high shelf or a different closet or a basement or something. It’s accessible and you can pull it all out when you need to wear it (and put away the smaller stuff that won’t be working at that point), but it’s not getting in your way and complicating your life. As part of the storage process, I’d get rid of any of the larger clothing that doesn’t spark joy even when it does fit.

    • Anonymous

      That’s my big issue with it! My size 16 suit and my size 10 suit spark no joy! But they’re expensive and potentially useful so they stay.

    • Anon

      I have a range of sizes in my closet from size 8 to size 14 – my weight fluctuates plus sizing is so wonky in that range. I can gain a size during that time of the month, and then lose it a week later. I also live in a climate that goes from 100+ degrees in the summer to 0 degrees in the winter. And on top of that, my office is more formal, my weekend wear needs to work with young kids, and I like to work out. I feel like I need a million sets of clothes and getting dressed is so incredibly frustrating.

      What I do is divide my clothes into two sets – bigger and smaller. Right now I’m in the smaller set, so that’s what’s in my closet. The rest are in storage boxes on the top shelf. I’ve focused on really curating a smaller “capsule” type wardrobe so every piece coordinates with the others. It means I’m making fewer impulse purchases and really thinking about how a piece will fit into my wardrobe. I’ve also organized my clothes by function – workout wear is in one section, casual wear in another, and work wear in a third. It helps focus my options.

      But I don’t know the right answer. I always feel like people who liked Tidying Up were work-at-home bloggers who live in California and don’t seem to have weight fluctuations. I’m not sure it translates to my “real life”.

      • Anonymous

        You know what gives me joy? Not having to repurchase clothing because my weight fluctuates! Having clothes in my house that fit me because I know I go up and down occasionally!

        Do I love that my weight changes? Not so much. Do I like being able to shop my closet? Yes.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, pull out those items and put them somewhere else for now. (Forget Marie Kondo for the moment — you have the live your actual life, not her version of it.) I would, however, sort through the clothes as you store them away. Get rid of the stuff that you really don’t want to wear again, even if you’re back at that size. (You know, the top that always bugged you and you kept pulling at it, the pair of pants that never fit right, the cardigan that is getting worn out.) Then, if you do need to pull the clothes out of storage again, you’ve got the good choices left.

    • Miz Swizz

      I have a couple of suits that don’t fit (too small) that I haven’t needed in the last 4 years. I was all set to type out a long response about keeping them just in case, but it occurred to me that I’d rather go get something that fits if the need arises rather than try to squeeze into a 1-2 size too small suit. I understand this is a luxury that not all can afford, but I’ve felt really good about donating things that no longer fit. Are you in a position to cull down some or all of these items?

    • Wear Everything Challenge

      My weight also fluctuates. I kept a nice suit in a too small size for years but when I finally got back into it, I didn’t like it any more. Subtle changes in style made it feel really outdated. I still store some things but mostly I donate things that don’t fit because I am sure that if I ever get magically skinny again I would like to go shopping!

      • SW

        +1. I lost a significant amount of weight a few years ago, and a dress I had kept for years just did not fit like it did when I was 26. You will want new things!

      • Idea

        This. I think Kondo asks, “would you buy this TODAY?” and if it is more than 1 size off, or has more than 1 thing that needs to be adjusted (like shoulders AND waist, or hem AND lapel are out-of-style) than you should NOT feel guilty about donating it! You live in a modern world with stores and delivery — trust that you will be able to obtain the proper size clothing when you need it. You don’t to keep your suit from your first interview 3 years ago, when your next job interview comes up you’ll be able to get (new) suit.

        • Tidying

          I’m trying to wrap my head around this, but I’m struggling. I definitely understand that fit and styles are constantly changing and I may not want these things even if they fit my body. But I’m coming off of a several year, not insignificant weight gain and it was so, so traumatic having to buy basically an entire new wardrobe in my larger size. Now that I’m losing the weight, it’s really scary to think about just getting rid of the wardrobe I just spent the last year+ building because it doesn’t fit anymore. Because of a lot of reasons I won’t get into, I don’t think I’ll ever be quite back where I was, but I just hated spending all the money to get clothes that fit (and now just getting rid of it all) and have this fear of needing to do it all over again.

          • Idea

            You’re ok. It’s more important to let go of the anxiety and guilt than it is to get rid of the clothes. If you prefer to keep them in you closet for the time being — guess what? That’s ok too! No guilt. No woman is running around half-naked because “Tidying” didn’t donate her clothes that don’t fit her perfectly. Also — no one is grading your closet on how it appears. No magazine is going to come take pictures. As long as it is ok FOR YOU and FOR YOUR NEEDS than guess what?! It’s ok!

          • Anonymous

            I was in a really similar situation — weight gain related to a life-specific event over the course of a year or so, about 2-3 years at that weight, and then lost (most of) it. I love some of my larger clothes, and they gave me joy at the time I bought them, so it was hard to get rid of them. I put them in a box in the corner of my closet, and gave myself a year to see what happened to my body/life after I lost the weight. It has stayed off for that long, and they are now all getting donated. Take your time in getting rid of stuff, if you feel that’s what you need to do. It doesn’t have to happen tomorrow.

          • Anonymous

            Really, don’t worry about this. Just box the clothes up for now, and enjoy your smaller size. Down the road, you’ll know better what to do with the larger clothes. Don’t let them make you crazy.

    • anon

      So, I am a rules follower and a perfectionist, and I think Kondo really resonates with people like that, who tend to go “all in” on something.

      I kondo-ed my wardrobe a couple years ago, did the special folding, etc. And honestly, it doesn’t really work for me. She says to have all your clothes, summer and winter, all out at the same time. Sorry, but no. I gave it the old college try, but I am actually planning on getting an under bed storage box and putting my sweaters and winter pants in there because they are bulky and take up a ton of room in my dresser.

      I’ve embraced a lot of what she talks about. I’ve gotten rid of things I thought I “had” to keep. But if I were you, I’d box up the stuff in other sizes, stick it in a closet, and move on without guilt.

      • Miz Swizz

        I didn’t like the special folding either. I recently bought some baskets to put out of season clothing in and it has helped me to better see what I have to wear right now. I’ve got a couple of things hanging in the closet currently that are probably going to be donated but I’ve given myself the week to either wear them or put them in the donations box.

        Like you, I’ve embraced that I don’t “have” to keep anything. And honestly, it’s helped me be a more purposeful shopper because I want to buy clothes to go with what I already have because I purged so many things I bought that were okay but didn’t go with anything else.

    • Linda from HR

      I use Space Bags for the stuff I never wear but I’m not sure I’m ready to get rid of, and I go through the bags after they’ve been in storage for a year or two. Just cleared mine out this month and went from 3 bags to one. Most of the clothes are going to H&M to be recycled, and there’s a small bag stuff that really is still nice as well as practical that’s gonna be donated.

      Just know that anything you put in storage may smell funky when you retrieve it, and will need to be washed before you can wear it, so try to plan ahead.

      Never feel like you “have” to get rid of everything that doesn’t follow certain rules, that’s only going to make tidying up harder! Instead, try to focus on getting rid of clothing that no longer serves a purpose in your life, and you don’t anticipate it serving a purpose for some time. If you honestly think you’ll gain the weight back, keep your bigger clothes for now.

    • Tidying

      Thank you all for both the practical advice and the head check. Much appreciated!

  18. NYC workouts

    I am finding myself with a free day in Midtown before attending a wedding that night. NYC-ers, what workout should I try to kill some time and try something that I don’t have in my much smaller city?

    • Anon in NYC

      In Hells Kitchen, there is a Cyc (spin) studio. There is a Soul Cycle in Bryant Park. If you’re willing to go to the Union Square/Flatiron area (~14th – 23rd St. & 5th/6th Aves), there are more spin studios (Flywheel, Peloton) and Pilates/megaformer studios (SLT, Flex).

    • Anonymous

      There are tons of great dance classes – beginner ballet, bollywood, hip hop, whatever you can think of. Also on the weirder side – aqua cycling @ aqua studio nyc.

      • Anonymous

        Yes – go to Broadway Dance Center and dance with dancers. Or Ailey Extension.

    • Anonymous

      Any particular activity that you enjoy or are looking for?

      Mile High Run Club – kind of like the SoulCycle for treadmill running. they have different run length classes including a shorter run + interval training exercises or a longer running only class. they coaches are super knowledgeable and will make sure you have good form, are landing on the right part of your feet etc.

      Tone House or Fhitting Room – HIIT/Bootcamp type classes. Tone House is the seriously the most intense workout I’ve ever done and a lot of former athletes go there and workouts are inspired by what athletes do in conditioning. You can take the 101 class for something slightly less intense. Fhitting Room isn’t as crazy but a very good workout and fun.

      Chaise Fitness – mix of ballet and pilates, with focus on the pilates chair apparatus

      Also have some recommendations of favorite yoga studios…which isn’t something you can’t get in your city but if you like yoga there are some really great studios here.

      • Anonymous

        Oh also Aerial Arts NYC is right in midtown east (some of my previous listed are more in Flatiron as there are a lot of studios there). They have all the circus arts classes like silks, trapeze, rope etc.

    • Katie

      I like Peloton for spin, but also Swerve (two locations – one in Flatiron and one in Midtown). There are also many Flywheel locations in Manhattan.

      Physique 57 (4 locations in Manhattan) is a well-loved barre class.

      I’ve recently gotten into rowing classes – there is CityRow by Union Square (warning, I don’t believe they have shower facilities), RowHouse (three locations – Chelsea, Columbus Circle, Upper East Side) and ICE NYC (Financial District).

      Seconding Tone House or Fhitting Room for a tough boot camp/HIIT workout.

    • NYCer

      Physique 57! There is a location in midtown on 57th Street between 5th and 6th Ave.

    • APC

      running loop of Central Park? The exterior loop is 6 miles but there are shorter paths as well. Otherwise +1 for Broadway Dance

  19. anon

    Recommendations requested for a dermatologist in the DC/MD area, esp around Rockville or Gaithersburg? I have adult, hormonal acne and am fed up with trying topical, over the counter solutions. I’d like someone that doesn’t push the latest, greatest stuff from a sales rep that often isn’t covered by insurance.

    • Pompom

      Dr. Tim Curtain is no nonsense, but considerate of patient concerns about pretty much everything. My husband and I both saw him for different concerns–some purely cosmetic, some more “medical”–and he was respectful of both concerns and gave solid advice without being flashy or salesy.

      I have had other derms who have skewed to the opposite extremes: one was alllll about fancy $$$ skincare from pharma, the other was so dismissive of appearance-related concerns (I have very early stage rosacea) to a fault where I felt stupid bringing her those issues. Dr. Curtain is wonderful and in the middle. Offices in FH (across from Tiffany), and Rockville.

    • Anon

      Try googling “vitamin B5 and acne.” I’ve posted this before, but I have two family members who’ve experienced wild success with large doses of vitamin B5 completely clearing up their acne. There are a few Reddit threads with dosage protocols. It may be worth giving a try before you go to the derm. Inexpensive, no side effects, and super fast results.

  20. First World Problem

    The Sound of Music and Cabaret are showing at the Kennedy Center, and I would like to take my 70 year old mom to one of the shows. Which would you choose? Mom has seen The Sound of Music film a million times, which is not a bad thing in my mind because she could follow the story and know what is going on. She knows nothing about Cabaret and neither do I. It might be neat to take her to something totally new for her, but I just dont’ know.

    Thoughts?

    • Winter

      Cabaret is powerful and I love it, but my 70-year old mom would not. If your mom, like mine, uses the word “racy” like it’s a bad thing, stick to Sound of Music. If she’s only seen the film, the musical would still be something new and fun and different.

      Maybe take a spin through youtube to get a flavor for some of the numbers from cabaret to see if the jokes are to your mom’s personal comfort level?

      • Anonymous

        +1 to the seeing Sound of Music on stage, if you can. First time I actually liked “Climb Every Mountain” (loved, actually), since I really don’t like that section of the movie. The product I saw had an operatic soprano singing the Mother Superior part and it was amazing. Goosebumps on my arms amazing. A million times better than the movie version of the song. And the rest was pretty good too.

        • Nessie

          I want to give a plug for the Audra McDonald version of “Climb Every Mountain” from when NBC did the live version. It makes me (and Carrie Underwood, apparently) cry every time I see it.

    • Anonymous

      Is she senile? She’s 70 not dead! Why wouldn’t she be able to follow along with Cabaret?

      • Senior Attorney

        Right? Good grief! Cabaret came out when today’s 70-year-olds were 20 years old, fer cryin’ out loud!

        • Pompom

          This! My 68.5 yo mom was IN a production of Cabaret once, and would LOVE to see it again. She’d kill me if I tried to drag her to mumsy old SOM.

        • PHX

          Thank you! (I remember my 20-something parents watching Cabaret at the drive-in with a very young me in the backseat. I’m sure the logic was that I would sleep through the movie.)

      • OP

        She’s not senile, but English is not her first language and that combined with the racy stuff in Cabaret leads me to believe she wouldn’t enjoy it. Thanks everyone!

    • Anonymous

      Agree that Cabaret is racy – read the plot summary on Wikipedia. They are kind of the antithesis of each other in terms of plot. I am not saying Cabaret is bad or that a 70 year old won’t like it, it just depends on your mother. Cabaret involves the cast wearing lingerie and fishnets for most of the show; Sound of Music is raindrops on roses, etc.

    • Anonymous

      “Would be able to follow it”?? Unless your mom is experiencing difficulty with her thinking (and she might be) … 70 year olds are perfectly capable of following a plot line, even for something they’ve never seen before.

    • Anonymous

      I just saw Sounds of Music this weekend with my husband and friend. Husband and friend are very into musicals, know the show well, and have seen it before (several times). They enjoyed it, but felt like the lead was the weak link. I am a total noob to that stuff, so I really enjoyed it. But what do I know?!

      That’s to say, if you and your mom are well-versed in Sound of Music, this might not be the time to see it again.

    • Current events joke

      Did the alt-right take over Broadway, too? Why does every show gotta be a Nazi show or a Founding Father show nowadays?! What happened to the good old fashioned socialist shows on Broadway?!

        • Drunk Uncle

          So now you’re giving out participation trophies?! What are you, a Baby Boomer running a Little League?!

      • Linda from HR

        I heard the new stage version of 1984 is causing audience members to faint.

    • Anonymous

      TBH, I am a huge musicals person and was underwhelmed by SoM at the Kennedy Center. Maria and the Captain were mediocre, and the addition of the musical only Baroness etc songs added time, but nothing of value for me. As a result, my indifference to the adults made it feel like a children’s production. That being said, it’s neat to see a show version of something you’ve only seen as a movie and the sets (and nuns) were awesome!

  21. J Krew

    Question on J Crew super 120s suit sizing. I wear a 10T in Ann Taylor jackets and 14 in Ann Taylor pants (curvy through the hips and thighs). What sizes would you recommend in the Jcrew super 120s suiting?

    • Anonymous

      I’m a pear shape, and I always size up one size in J Crew pants from my normal AT size.

  22. Boston Running

    I will be in Boston a few days next week staying near city hall. Any recommendations on good running trails?

    • boston anon

      I’m not a runner, but I know people like to run around the esplanade and over to cambridge (it’s a big loop over 2 different bridges). I have also heard people really like the “emerald necklace” (google it).

      • CHJ

        +100 to the Esplanade. It’s my all-time favorite city running trail and a fantastic way to see Boston. I’ll post a link to the map with mileage in a second…

        • ponte python's flying circus

          +1 million to the Esplanade!

          From City Hall specifically:
          – From Park Street T, run along Beacon Street at the edge of Boston Common and Public Garden, and cross the bridge to the Esplanade at the corner of Beacon and Arlington streets. Keep running west. Turn around at Massachusetts Avenue and retrace your steps, ending at City Hall — about 3 miles.
          – From Government Center, take Cambridge Street west and cross Longfellow Bridge. You’ll pop out at the eastern end of MIT, near the Sloan business school. Run along Memorial Drive, either on the MIT side or the Charles River side. Cross the river at Massachusetts Avenue and come back along the Esplanade — it’s about 5 miles.
          – Government Center T station is on the Green Line, so if you wanted, you could take the T out to Cleveland Circle or Reservoir stops, run around Chestnut Hill Reservoir (1.5 miles and change), run the last 3 miles of the Boston Marathon route, then run from Copley Square back to your hotel.

          • MJ

            Tigger and I will wave to you! That’s my doodle who overlooks the Esplanade all day from my apt in Beacon Hill. It is her solemn duty to make sure there’s no shenanigans out there.

          • ponte python's flying circus

            You’re welcome! Sorry, I miscalculated – the Govt Center – Cambridge Street – MIT loop is not going to be 5 miles; more like 3. For 5+, go all the way to the BU bridge, and then you can either go down some stairs to get to the river trail (more scenic, fewer traffic lights), or run back along Commonwealth Avenue and Boston Common.

    • Anonymous

      Go along Charles Street to the river, and then run along the Esplanade.

  23. Beach days

    I took my favorite water bottle to the beach and now it has a cloudy sheen I can’t shake. Tried rinsing with hot water, scrubbing a bit and the dishwasher. Any other suggestions?

    • Anonymous

      Oh the outside? I wonder if it’s sunscreen. That stuff does a number on things. I always hate how it damages my manicure, but I of course wear it anyway.

      • Minnie Beebe

        So that’s what destroys my manicure when I’m at the beach? My sunscreen? The polish always, always gets sorta soft after a day or two. This is why?!?!

        Thank you for clearing up this mystery for me!

        (Also, does gel polish survive better?)

        • Anonymous

          It’s the sunscreen that destroys mine to be sure. It never gets shiny again and the edges wear down much faster than normal wear. I can’t speak to gel versus regular polish though, sorry!

    • another fan

      I’m betting it’s scratched on the outside. It’s happened to all our water bottles this summer and they look like cr*p.

    • Idea

      If it’s not scratched but instead has a residue or something, try vinegar rinse.

    • Senior Attorney

      Try a Mr. Clean magic eraser. It works wonders on car headlights when they get cloudy.

  24. Sheets

    I’m looking for cotton sheets that are nice but don’t break the bank. Not jersey, not flannel. Trying to keep under $100.

    Does anyone have brands they particularly like? We moved from a cold climate to a very warm one and ALL our sheets are flannel.

    Bonus if available on Amazon Prime.

    • Anonymous

      I like whatever the house brand at Bed Bath and Beyond is. Wamsutta Home, I think? It’s a pretty high thread count and they’re very sturdy and soft.

    • Anonymous

      thesweethome dot com just did a roundup of the best sheets. For cotton percale they found LL Bean to be the best.

    • Pompom

      The Threshold sheets from Target–maybe 400 tc max if I recall–are my stand out winners in the budget category. They wear so well.

      My dog ate a hole in them, they are that good…! I digress. But still. Super great affordable sheets! Have a feel!

      • ELS

        +1. I get the percale kind, because I like stiff, old-fashioned, cool-to-the-touch sheets for the summer.

        • MJ

          Threshhold percale. They are crispy and sleep cool. They wrinkle because they are 100% cotton, but that’s why they are crispy awesome.

      • emeralds

        I got the Threshold organic cotton sheets because of a recommendation from here, and I love them more than I know I could love sheets!

      • Cookbooks

        The line about your dog made me laugh. I like that your dog appreciates a good bargain!

    • Miz Swizz

      I like the Charter Club sheets at Macy’s, which I buy online. They aren’t Prime fast but the shipping has been pretty fast for me. They sell them in store too.

    • Anon

      Pima is the softest cotton for bedsheets because it is the longest, finest staple cotton. (Think fewer little tiny ends sticking out to poke you)

      I order 800 thread count pima cotton sheets from overstock. They take a few washes to break in but then they are silky smooth and cool. I love them so much.

      I always order white so that I can wash on hot with bleach.

  25. Intrigued

    Reposting from Friday in hopes of advice…am intrigued by the idea of using a coach in the job interview process, as someone here alluded to recently. Can you tell me more? How did you find this person, can you work with them remotely, would you recommend, and a ballpark for costs?

    • Idea

      I emailed 3 folks – 1 nationally known, 1 locally known, and finally went to my grad school alumni office (locally) and asked about resume help writing/coaching. The coach my alumni office suggested came at $125/hour for 2 sessions, 1 2 hours and 1 1 hour (so total 3 hours x $125 per hour). We were able to schedule all within 2 weeks. I think she does job interviewing help too. But it was great to work with her in person.

      I have used my grad school alumni office career services remotely for help with job interviews (a few years ago when I lived elsewhere). That was free. Maybe a 90 minute session with a volunteer alumna who went over behavioral questions with me. Harder to schedule, but worth it.

      Does that help?

  26. Feeling alone and needing a vacation

    Will try to remember to repost in afternoon thread –

    I really need a vacation. I’m in my early 20s and not sure I really have anyone to go with. I’m in a relationship but still early enough that I don’t think we’re ready for travel together (beyond a weekend to a wedding). Parents are older (late 60s / early 70s) and just aren’t very into travel. Friends are all busy. My bff excitedly suggested we travel together but she’s been flaky about scheduling (she doesn’t have a ton of money right now which may be part of the problem). I solo traveled last year and I really liked it but I did feel a little lonely for meals and such so I’m not sure I want to do that again.

    First off, I’m just feeling sorta bummed I don’t have anyone to go with. And second on a more productive note, anyone have any suggestions? I have a few ideas but bleh feeling sorta down. Of course this is why I need this vacation so badly. I’m totally burnt out from working a ton of crazy hours and always having to be available to work. I just need some space and time to think and recharge.

    -I’d be open to just sitting on the beach. Any suggestions for good beach destinations / hotels? I’ll be traveling from New York area. Only catch is I have specific dietary instructions so I’m interested in a resort, but all inclusive could be tough.
    -staycation. Not really sure if this will help me feel better. Think I need more distance to catch my breath.
    -visit my parents and staycation in my hometown. Catch is my parents are only an hour away and I already visit them a lot (like at least once a month).
    -take a week off and try to coordinate weekend trip with bff and very short trip with parents. No guarantees that either of them will really say yes though since so far my bff is flaking on scheduling and my parents turned down most of my vacation suggestions. The only idea dad liked he said “too late they’re probably all booked. Maybe next year!”

    Tl;dr anyone have any good ideas for a solo travel trip that will give me time to rest and recharge and not feel lonely or unsafe? Staying within the U.S or greater North American area is fine.

    • Anonymous

      Have you looked into yoga retreats? You can do them all over the world, but especially places like Costa Rica have al inclusive retreats where you’re in with a group so there is companionship, but still lots of quiet time.

      • anon

        +1

        I’m older than you, OP, but have faced the same dilemma. I did a yoga retreat last year and it was awesome. The group bonded and had fun, the locale was amazing, and having everything planned for me (logistics, transport) was great but not too restrictive. They’ve got them all over the world. Even if you’re not a yogi, I’d still recommend it. Yoga was twice a day for us, with lots of time to do other stuff and there were several people who were new to yoga or not very experienced.

          • Anon

            diff anon than above but I did a retreat with Exotic Yoga Retreats and loved every second. Awesome hosts. Met cool people. Came back a balanced, calmer gal who felt more like myself than I had in long time. My group went to Xinalni in Mexico. Would love to go again!

          • Amy H.

            Rancho La Puerta was made for this! Not just yoga — hiking too and every other kind of workout you can imagine/want — plus amazing food incl. care with dietary restrictions. Meals (and hikes and classes) are communal so you can be with others or alone to whatever degree you want. It’s a phenomenal place to recharge solo.

    • Anonymous

      Do you have any hobbies or things you’ve always wanted to learn, like yoga, scuba or surfing? There are themed camps/resorts around these things and you’d be doing the activity most of the day so it wouldn’t feel as lonely. You’d probably meet people you could join for meals.
      You could also join a group tour. There are lots aimed at 20 and 30-somethings. Many colleges also offer alumni trips if you want to have a pre-existing connection to your travel companion (these tend to skew older though).
      Or what about volunteering? I know Elephant Nature Park in Thailand takes volunteers for one week. You spend a lot of time with the elephants but also do productive work for the park, and you’d meet and get to know your fellow volunteers. I’m sure there are also volunteer opportunities closer to home but Thailand has a TON of solo travelers.

      I’m also not sure why going with your significant other isn’t an option if s/he is into travel. Now-DH and I went on vacation together a month in.

    • Godzilla

      Even if you don’t have a friend you can crash with, I’d recommend SF. I did the same thing this March although I’m a decade older than you. I just really needed to get away from my life and be in a place accessible to nature via car/public transportation and still be a walkable city. SF was amazing. I ate amazing food and saw beautiful things and really enjoyed being by myself.

    • CHJ

      Language school in Mexico can be really great for solo travelers. I’ve done it a couple of times and solo travelers usually outnumber couples/groups, so everyone is looking to make friends and go out to eat or explore the city together. I did one in Oaxaca (Instituto Cultural Oaxaca) and another in Guanajuato (Escuela Falcon) and liked them both. The language part is just a couple of hours in the morning and then you can do organized cultural outings or just go explore the city on your own.

    • Anonymous

      Contiki tours – I have friends who do them all the time (even though they have “real” friends they could go with). They love meeting new people. But I don’t think it would be a good option if you really need time to recharge.

    • Silvercurls

      A friend of mine enjoyed the Kripalu institute (yoga retreat) … about 20 years ago. I’ve never been; it could have changed; who knows? look them up online. They’re somewhere in New England.

      Or go to a writers’ or artists’ retreat if you have that interest, plus the time available?

    • Dahlia

      How about an organized yoga or spa retreat? Or- are you interested in learning to scuba dive? Dive boat trips have a lot of solo travellers and you have a built in activity that you are doing together. If you aren’t already certified, you can do the “classroom” portion online fairly quickly and slam out your pool sessions in a weekend before you go, then you get all your open water dives done on the trip. Any reputable diving school typically has dive trips planned and should be able to help you plan and sort all that. Other “activity-based” trips might be similar good options- like a cycling group or a historical interest group. A friend of mine took a trip that traced the route of arctic explorers as they discovered the northwest passage. They had lectures from historians and scientists on the boat, visited inuit villages, kayaked around glaciers, etc. I think there were a number of other solo travellers and a few couples. These sort of niche interest/activity trips might be a good fit!

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