Coffee Break

Briefly (because I really have nothing good to add to the conversation and get all choked up anyway when I think about it): instead of suggesting another random gift idea, I thought I’d devote today’s Coffee Break to places you can help the victims of Friday’s tragic shooting. Mashable did a roundup the other day of places, and Rue La La is, this afternoon, directing the entire page to donating to the United Way of Western Connecticut. I might also suggest checking with your local school districts — either to see if you can donate to enhance school security (equipment, personnel) or if they have suggestions for where to donate. Ladies, if you have any other links, please add ‘em below.

 

Comments

  1. Anonymous for This :

    Our prayers, thoughts, donations–these are all good things. If we really care, if we really want to make changes, then do something. Doesn’t matter if your passion is gun control or mental health care or both, but do something. Don’t walk away after a small act in the moment, but commit to the tough battle of lasting change.

    And if you have any time left over, you can add taking on our press who has spread rumors, ruined reputations, stuck cameras in the faces of six year old children and are blocking our streets so it’s difficult to get to our homes and families.

    • And you can boycott blogs ran by people who are NRA lobbyists (capital hill style). I dont care if her blog is for fashion, not her job. If Osama bin laden had a blog on fashion in the day I hope you wouldnt read it and contribute to his revenue stream.

      get some morals, stand up for things you believe in people!!!

    • Then what? :

      What would you like people to do?

      I ask without snark or sarcasm. My children are the age of those children. I can’t undo what happened. I can’t bring those beautiful, poor children back to their heartbroken parents. So what can I do? You don’t like these suggestions. That’s fine. What do you support? Be specific, because what you’ve said above is not any more specific than the comments you criticized this weekend. If you want to see a change in how people are responding and supporting, then tell us what you want.

      • style advice needed... :

        Good question. Probably now is a good time to simply go to the website for your representative or congressman and write a quick email or letter in support of improved/more background checks looking for psychiatric illness/histories. I heard some stories that background checks are not done if people purchase at gun shows etc… Or maybe there should be educational outreach programs to gun owners who have family members with mental illness in the house. Or for banning assault rifles. Or whatever relevant issue makes you most upset, if any.

        Speak up. Not just at a blog website. But to your congressman.

        Continue to teach tolerance to your kids? No bullying? Sometimes I wonder if some of these unstable adults were not ostracized as kids, maybe things might turn out better.

        • In this case, it would be gun owners who have family members with mental illness in the house. The shooter did not own the guns. They were his mother’s. Background checks wouldn’t have helped at all.

          I am also wondering, other than this, what any of us can really do. I guess donate to counseling for the children and families. I just don’t know.

          • style advice needed... :

            Of course. Let’s be helpful here. We are talking about the big picture.

        • Sydney Bristow :

          Yes, this is all stuff that we can do.

          In addition, treating people with respect and setting an example for others around, whether children or adults, are important. Think about what impact your words or actions have on the people around you. I read Malcom Gladwell’s book called The Tipping Point and found it to be a useful way of thinking about societal issues. If enough people work to change their environment, even in just some little way, it can develop into something that has all sorts of other effects. This can be either a positive or a negative. If we work on taking a second before attacking with our words and try to give people the benefit of the doubt and see where they are coming from, I truly believe that we could all understand each other better, which could lead to people working together to achieve things we would all like to achieve even though we have completely different opinions on how to achieve those things.

      • Anonymous for This :

        Write your local, state, and national representatives. Tell them what gun control you want. You don’t think private individuals need semi-automatic weapons? Or that guns should be harder to get? Or need stronger licensing? Write them that. Write the White House. Sign a petition. You think mental health care is the issue? Tell your elected officials that you support national health care coverage for mental illness. Think we are becoming numb to violence? Don’t buy the violent toys, see the violent movies, or let your children–and speak out about why you are not. Ask the entertainment companies to do a better job.

        You know some one in the NRA who supports gun control–and many members do–ask them to speak out. If your local politicians take NRA funding, write and ask them to engage the NRA in helping to devise workable solutions. If they can’t, ask them to stop taking the NRA funding as if your vote depends on it.

        Vote with your vote, vote with your words, vote with your wallet. There is no political lobby or special interest group that is better funded than a united American public.

      • I’d add to this list: wait until the rest of the information comes out. This shooting, more than most, has had piles and piles of completely wrong information come out in the news and on social media. Being a citizen in a democracy carries a responsibility. Before you advocate for this new law or that one, become educated about what you’re asking for. I can think of quite a few very bad laws that were written quickly because everyone was scared, but I can’t think of one good one written that way. Hastily written law carries two risks: (1) that it creates unnecessary burden and expense; and (2) that it lets us wash our hands of a problem without actually fixing it. If you care enough to petition for a new law, do the research and wait for the information you need to petition for the right one.

        • style advice needed... :

          Fair enough. But honestly, nothing happens quickly in a democracy!

          • It does when people are scared enough (Patriot Act was enacted in Oct 2001, I think). Even so, I don’t see how it’s relevant that the process can take a long time. Advocating for a law without doing your research or understanding what you’re advocating is irresponsible no matter how long the law takes.

          • Susan (edna_mode_nyc) :

            TBK, I completely agree. Fear can egg people on to be wildly reactive, and to pass a bad law just to say they’re doing something. One should never mistake activity for progress.

        • Sydney Bristow :

          I think that we as a society are to blame for that as well. I was certainly a part of it listening to the live news coverage. We want so badly to hear all of the information immediately that there is such pressure on officials to come out with any info they can without taking the time to fully investigate it. The ID is an example. It looks so clear like that is the same person so it looks like its ok to release the name while you’re going to the address listed on the ID to investigate only to find out that he was carrying his brother’s ID.

          I don’t know what the answer is to this because its just human nature to want to know everything possible as soon as possible when something major happens.

    • I think your last point is one we can all agree on. The media is outrageous these days. Who thinks it’s a good idea to interview a third grader after something like this? Who thinks it is okay to stalk the internet for pictures of victims? It is disgusting. I’m all for freedom of information and freedom of the press, but we have crossed over to almost glorifying heinous crimes.

    • And if you have even more time left over, CNN just posted this:

      Update 3:52 p.m. ET] The U.S. Postal Service has established an address where people can send letters of condolence to the people of Newtown, the service’s Maureen Marion tells CNN. Here is the address:

      Message of Condolence
      PO Box 3700
      Newtown, CT 06470

  2. Anonymous for This :

    Oh yes, and to the poster that told me this weekend I’m vile? Thanks for that.

    • So, my advice from years of having read this blog, its easier to just ignore/let these things go and just forging ahead. Because nothing constructive has ever really come from these rehashings.

      I’m sorry this happened though.

  3. DC Lawyer :

    Anonymous — Thank you for such a constructive thought. I agree with you, and admire you for the good advice to all of us. I’m so sorry for the burden your community is experiencing.

    If the poster who described your as vile thinks he or she is being successful in suppressing free speech and action to protect children, that’s sadly mistaken. You’ve inspired me to be more active in supporting my passion for gun control.

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      If I’m thinking of the right thread, Anonymous For This criticized everyone for “intellectualizing” the tragedy. Though, IMO, the best actions to prevent something like this actually do come from intellectualizing a tragedy, thinking critically about what steps to take next, seeking feedback from different groups as to how to implement those steps, then implementing them.

      If I’m remembering the wrong thread, or misunderstanding, I apologize.

      • Yep, that was the one.

      • I say this on the side of both Anonymous (I’m a resident of CT too, quite near Newtown, I send you my thoughts and hugs, this was far too close to home) and the posters who were engaging in the intellectual discussion.

        Right now, isn’t it OK to let people discuss intellectually, or for people to express their frustration at these intellectual discussions, if that helps each respective poster process? Can we please get through these next few weeks together, rather than calling each other names, for voicing our opinions? Some people talk through issues, others internalize. Either way, whether we’re in Fairfield County, another part of Connecticut, another state, or the other side of the world, we are all in pain here. Let’s keep in mind that we might deal with these thoughts and emotions differently, and if someone might deal with it in a way you don’t agree with, at least be respectful when discussing those differences.

  4. Miami conference :

    TJ to keep things from getting ugly:

    After a long hiatus (thanx, recession), I have a work conference in Miami to go to. YAY! Clients will be there, and my competition.

    I usually dress conservatively (skirt suits, etc.) and am wearing two layers of wool today b/c my office is freezing.

    But this is Miami! And I want to be more Pippa Middleton than Margaret Thatcher (though I love them both). Please style me!

    • Miz Bizcuit :

      Wow, no responses yet?

      Miami = COLOR. Wear your brightest, most interesting color combo (eg, red silk tee + turquoise necklace; navy suit + purple blouse, etc). Miamians also tend to wear more figure-conscious silouhettes (tighter, shorter, etc). Think NYC in Technicolor.

      It’s 80 degrees, but Floridians think that’s winter. So don’t be afraid to wear something that looks wintery, like boots or opaque tights.

      But never wear sheer hosiery in Miami… unless they’re attached to suspenders. ;-}

  5. Diana Barry :

    Hey ladies,

    Another TJ for those of you who are more senior/involved in management:

    How transparent are things at your firms? A responder this morning suggested that I ask about the “firm’s plan for me”. But law firms are notoriously non-transparent, and I can’t imagine that this kind of question would go over well, either within the context of an annual review or as some kind of special meeting or whatever. Any suggestions for how to ferret out this information when a direct question would be taken badly?

    • This is Anon :

      Just a cautionary tale, I was in a similar position. I changed firms after my first couple years as an associate and went to a small (15 or so attorneys) firm with no set partnership track. They brought in a couple of lateral partners with only a year or two more experience than I had, but when I’d bring up my future there or what one had to do to make partner they always changed the subject. I was working my rear end off just to keep up with my caseload, much less doing what I could try securing some clients of my own. At one point, I advised my boss there that I felt that the fact that I was still an “associate” was a disadvantage to me when dealing with older atorneys who were “partners” at other firms. Their solution was to change my title to “of counsel.” Fast forward a year and they decided they could hire a shiny new graduate or two dirt cheap these days and they laid me off because I was expensive. I had no clients of my own and no firm wanted to hire an attorney of my “vintage” unless I had a big book of business. After five months of unemployment, I now have a JD optional job since no firm would touch me. Without your own clients, you have no leverage. You need to come up with a plan, ASAP.

    • I wish I could give you an answer!

      I’m not quite sure of your # of years in and location, but if you’re junior and busy and have good reviews, that’s a good sign to getting to midlevel. If you are worried that you are just aging (so not fired, not getting The Talk, but perhaps not going to be partner, so don’t become a senior associate with no plan), you’ve got to pull someone aside who either 1) knows and will tell you or 2) will at least be candid if you’re not quite making it. It seems that a lot of people know #2 and that this is never shared with the person (reviews are OK, hours are OK, but the person isn’t the favorite or is often farmed out to other groups b/c the star of the group gets the assignments).

      Otherwise, even for firms that are objective and relatively transparent, I’ve found that there is a huge amount of subjectivity, favorites are given rewards that don’t jibe with the objective stats, and no one really knows what the rules are. If the people you directly report to are crazy about your work and you are really busy, you probably have a future.

      I’m not sure if our profession is horrible in this way b/c we’re just bad managers / business people and this is the best we do at what is seen as as secondary task or if the curtain were to be pulled back we’d be in open revolt (both?). But we’re terrible.

      • Diana Barry :

        I am already a senior associate, if you go by years of experience. There are no divisions except for “associate”, and very few associates. There are income partners (non-equity) and equity partners. All of the “of counsels” are old (eg about to retire). There seem to be some permanent non-equity partners (who have been that way for many years). I am not super busy, but am PT and am working at my pace. I am also essential to my boss and there are no other associates in my ‘department’.

        • OK. My firm is cloudy on the income/equity partner distinction. It seems that income partner isn’t hard to come by (previously skilled senior people, but many have their own clients).

          Maybe find a decision-maker type of person (your boss?) and frame the discussion of what are meaningful metrics for what the firm will want to see from you for your practice to continue to advance. Maybe it is a conversation to have with more than one person?

          I could see your situation as one that would just ossify where it is, but what do you want? If you want to advance, $ is the key area to focus on (so quantifying financial contribution — originations and hours), but also considering writing / speaking — both establish you more in your field and make you more visible (which benefits them, but also you if you want to leave). What do they want to see and can you have any resources for doing that?

          I think it is a bit like living with your BF and wondering when, if ever, he will propose.

        • Maddie Ross :

          Given that you are “essential,” do you want to make partner at your firm? I am at a larger firm, so not in the same position, but my husband is in a similar boat I think. He is at a very small firm and is the only associate. He’s been out of law school though for 10+ years. I think it irks him to be an associate based on the title, but he’s totally essential to the operations. And frankly may be better compensated than the partners in some ways, esp. during the lean economy years, as he is not contributing to the general upkeep of the firm. Because of the financial aspects, he’s never pushed the issue. Would the same possibly be true for you?

          • Diana Barry :

            I don’t want to be a partner. I would rather just be a senior person – eg “counsel” – with no pressure of biz dev.

        • Anne Shirley :

          To me, not super busy + part time would equal no chance at partner, firm’s keeping you around to service other’s cases. I disagree with the advice to ask for a plan- unless you’re telling them “here’s my plan to ramp up to full time, and the list of clients I’m developing” I think you risk making your lack of plan even more of an issue.

    • I think that poster said that if you don’t know what the plan is, that isn’t a good thing. I’m sorry to say it, but if you don’t think you can ask what the long term plan is for you, that doesn’t bode well. One solution is to come up with your own plan for yourself at the firm. You would need to point out what clients *you* have (even if they’re nominally a partner’s, these would be the people who call you first and often don’t even need to talk to the partner because you’re able to solve their problems), what clients you anticipate bringing into the firm (not necessarily specifics, but are there areas you can target?), and how you see your practice fitting into the firm’s overall business picture. If you can’t make this argument, maybe this firm isn’t the right fit for your skills.

    • My fear in asking about the “firm’s plan for me” is that it would sounds too passive. If I asked that question at my review, I could see the partner just flipping it on me, saying, “Well, that’s up to you–what’s your plan for how you’re going to get to be partner?”

      I am a class of 2008 JD, and it has been instilled in me since Day 1 that becoming partner is not something a given if I work hard/am liked, but, instead, I need to lay out concrete steps to network, write, get my name known, etc., and make of my career what I want. If I were you, instead of asking about their plan, I would tell them about yours.

    • They really aren’t that non transparent. I would not ask, especially since you part time. Agree with MK that it sounds passive

  6. TO Lawyer :

    Two fashion-related questions:

    1) An ad popped up on the sidebar for Lily and Violet. They have really cute dresses for fairly reasonable prices. Has anyone ever bought from them before?

    2) I saw a really cute pair of black Coach pumps (not labelled). Does anyone have Coach pumps and can speak to their comfort?

    Thanks ladies!

    • TO Lawyer :

      I now realize my first question is probably moot because they don’t ship to Canada but if it’s really worth it, I have friends/family in the US I could ship to…

  7. Any recommendations for a place to stay in Marrakech? I’m planning to go solo so I don’t need loads of space.

    • Riad L’Orangerie. Excellent location. Helpful and friendly staff. Opportunities to interact with other guests but not forced to do so. It is a small and quiet property.

  8. hellskitchen :

    Have I asked this before? Apologies if I have but does anyone have suggestions for a good driving school in NYC?

  9. To the other Canucks on here: A Judith & Charles has recently opened up here. I have no experience with them so am just wondering – do you consider them to be a useful store? How is their customer service? Any “do not miss” items there that I should look out for? Thanks!

    • TO Lawyer :

      I find Judith Charles to be really over priced. I like the look of some of their clothes but just cannot justify the prices they’re charging. That said, I get great service whenever I try to forget about my clothing budget and go try stuff on.

      If you like statement jewelry, I’d take a look at theirs. Some of it is unique but still classic and still expensive but more justifiable I think for what you’re getting.

    • I like their stuff, and I like the quality, but I only have a few pieces from them.

      Unfortunately, I find that they’re not really my style, and they aren’t really cut for my body, but the few items that I have from them, I really do love (I have a couple of sweaters and a dress or two). They’ve always been really good to me with customer service, we have 2 locations in our city, and they’re always happy to hold sizes at the other store for me for a couple of days until I can get there, and they’re always nice and not haughty like the ones at Holts. The stores aren’t huge, so they definitely don’t stock a ton of sizes, and they don’t get restocks usually (from what I understand…), so that can get irksome, but as a bonus, they frequently have new stuff (you just have to buy it relatively fast since sizes go quickly).

      So, I’d definitely give a run by the store, and see what you think- I usually pop in if I’m walking by, just to see if anything piques my fancy.

    • They have great service but unfortunately for me most of their clothes max out at a SMALL 12. A bit pricey for me in general but my mother has Teenflo stuff from years ago that still looks great so if they didn’t change their manufacturing too much may be worth the investment.

  10. After finally splurging and buying a pair of CH Air Violets and wearing them a few times, I can safely say I HATE THESE SHOES! Do they get better over time? Or should I just try to unload them on ebay?

    • Is there a reason you can’t return them? If you’ve only worn them a few times without any visible damage, you may be able to straight up return them.

    • What do you hate about them?

      • To me, they are not very comfortable. They slightly pinch in the toes and seem to have very little padding in the shoe. Given that they’re already slightly tight in the toebox for me, I’m hesitant to add another insert, but I guess I could try?

        • Gail the Goldfish :

          Maybe a cobbler could stretch the toebox?

        • I hate cole haans. I tried to like them but they are soo uncomfortable for me.

        • CH shoes have a narrow toe box. If your feet are even a little bit wide, there’s a good chance they won’t work for you. But if return isn’t an option, I would suggest that you take them to the cobbler to be stretched.

          • FWIW, I have this problem frequently with shoes and I try to make it a point to wear them around the house for a couple of night before I decide I am actually keeping them. I have saved myself from a few pinchy pairs that way.

          • I have a couple pairs of Air Talias that I love (and I have sort of wide feet). I have a pointier pair (not sure of the name) and those do pinch some, but I’m hoping they’ll stretch.

        • style advice needed... :

          I also disliked mine. I wore them around the house for awhile, then mailed them back to Zappos.

        • I know the feeling. I had a pair of loafer flats that pinched in the toe and once they stretched out they were still too tight in the toe but fell off my feet when I walked. I think I’d only wear their shoes in a wide size now.

    • anon in tejas :

      what size and color? I might be willing to take them off your hands.

  11. e_pontellier :

    TJ: hive hugs? Still exhausted (see: friday morning post re exhaustion) and things have gone from tough to so.much.worse. I’m staying with a friend right now. I have one more final. I’m reachable at e.pontellier.r et te at gmail. I like pictures of animals, calvin & hobbes, and support that I’m not the crazy one. Thanks everybody; I would not be able to do this without you all.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      E – I was thinking of you a lot today and thinking of emailing you but haven’t yet had a good break in my day. Yes, I have been all over this site but this is my mindless “waiting for something before I can do my next step” place. I want to write you something more thought out. I have your email and will be sending something. I’m glad to hear that you have a friend to stay with. Don’t forget how stressful law school is too and that everything is going to be SO MUCH HARDER because of finals. I just took a call from my 1L brother who maybe deciding law school really wasn’t for him. Chin up. You took the first big step by staying with your friend. I’ll be in touch!

    • Hugs. I’m glad you’re staying with a friend right now. Just one more final. You can do it!

    • LadyEnginerd :

      Sounds like you need a dose of zooborns (http://www.zooborns.com/). More to follow when I get home. You are not the crazy one, and you are doing the right thing. Sometimes, we need the stress of something like finals to catalyze whatever change we need to make in our lives, because it really forces us to prioritize and see what is sapping our energy and what is worth making the effort to nurture despite the stress. I think it’s clear which category your husband falls into.

      I hope you take some time after finals to really clarify what you want and take the opportunity of the winter break to start making steps towards the life you want to lead. I know it’s hard to start over, but I have faith you will come out on the other side stronger and wiser.

    • So, I sent you some cute and fun and funny stuff, but I got so carried away that I’m almost CERTAIN it would have gone to spam there were so many links in it!

    • Focus on your last final; don’t let your bad situation prevent you from doing well there. Also, it’s very hard to stick up for yourself and I hope you are finding the peace, comfort, and clarity you need right now. Good luck with your final.

    • Charlotte Peloux :

      Oh, e, I’ve been following your story. I’m newish to the site, and tend to read sporadically on weekends and late evenings, so I don’t bother to post too often.

      I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time, but I think there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck with the last final, and know that you’ll be in my thoughts.

  12. Anon Fore! this... :

    Want to know something you can do that knits together a community and helps them work together for resolution?

    Support community mediation and conflict resolution centers. A community is only as good as how it resolves its conflicts. If we leave people alone, or allow too much isolation (including sitting and staring at screens without all of the face time that even newborn infants respond to – we are poorer for it.

    There is a lot of promise and peace-building with these centers. I do wonder if community conferencing would have allowed the circle of people that surrounded the young man that brought such grief, pain and havoc on his community to see that it wasn’t just his mother that loves and cares, and worries about him, to balance out the message, as well as offering hope.

    With 20/20 hindsight, many will say, I won’t touch that situation, not at all. When the village, or someone’s community stands behind the health and expected behavior of families and the mentally ill, everyone is stronger. Even when they are misbehaving. Honor those with disabilities by holding them to appropriate standards. I work at a place that has 50 acres of people and property. When I sought a ban from our property for someone who just wasn’t all the way there mentally (public grope caught on camera) the victim was furious because they were convinced that this person was beyond help. She would not write out an impact statement. Somehow thought they were saving this person’s only shot at a job. I got to do the discussion. It clicked for him when I said, do you have a sister? yes. Would you want this to happen to her? NO! Ok, so you will understand why this is so wrong. The police officer said his part about safety and not scaring people. I got a nice letter from the guy’s case manager. People need consistent messages from a variety of people.

    I live in a neighborhood with long driveways. we make an effort at least twice a year to have a gathering so people can meet and greet and become more familiar.

    Talk more, bark less.

    If you are having trouble talking with your neighbors, family or friends find your local community mediation program and see how they can help get the conversation to a peaceful level, brainstorm scenarios, maybe agreeing to disagree…

    Here is Maryland’s

    http://www.marylandmediation.org/

    (non-profit donations are happily accepted, and each local center is its own non-profit. I’m on the board for Baltimore County, and also volunteer as a mediator for Baltimore County, Baltimore City and Carroll County as it fits my schedule.) They even have a conflict coaching program. Most, if not all services are free – after all, it doesn’t cost anything to try for resolution by punching someone in the nose…and cost can be one more barrier to getting people in the door and taking that next step.

    If you can’t donate, consider referring your own matter there. It doesn’t have to be horrible stuff. We are mediating with my mother who is retiring in February – so we have a good thorough discussion of what child care and expectations look like…She wants to do this, and this is a positive way of looking at how we are thinking about this and setting realistic expectations.

    Parent-teen mediations, neighbors, roommates, adult child(ren)-elder parent, business partnerships, workplace – it’s a flexible format, not just for divorce or police referrals.

    if we can all be a little more engaged, and competent with conflict – life gets better.

  13. mindless fun :

    My O.G. came today. (Thanks to whoever posted about the 35% off code.) I have it sitting here next to my Longchamp Pliage tote (large) and even though I ordered the O.G. because I’m tired of not being able to find anything in the tote, now that I have them here side by side the O.G. seems enormous. Please enable me to keep this and not send it back for the OMG – the O.G. really is the one I need, particularly when I travel.

    Anyone? Bueller?

    • If you have a large computer, the consensus seems to be that the O.G. will be much less frustrating in the long run (less struggling to pull it out and put it back in). Maybe fill it up with your stuff so you can see just how helpful it is? Enjoy the bag :)

    • I just used my O.G. to go to the gym for the first time and it was really stuffed. So an OMG would definitely be too small!

    • I too received my O.G. a couple of days ago (also shopped with the 35% coupon) and used it today for the first time….it is awesome! I love how it looks at the end of the day – not sagging, professional, and polished. Also, it fits my laptop so much better. It does have more head room than the OMG but it really does not look that much bigger on me (I was worried about that). And now, I have a bag that can double up as a carry-on for a weekend trip!

    • Thanks, all… it is quite a lovely bag…

  14. I am for STRICT gun control. I do NOT understand why the mom either needed so many GUBS, nor why she exposed her son, who was NOT normal in anyone’s book, to all of these guns. It is bad enough when peeople have guns. But why expose the son, a TICKING TIMEBOMB, to guns like these??? FOOEY ON THAT!

    I AGREE WITH OBAMA THAT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Limit guns to those who need them, not every loser on the street. FOOEY.

  15. Anonymous :

    One of the victims, Catherine Hubbard, was the daughter of a fellow RMWC alum. Catherine loved animals and wanted to open an animal shelter when she grew up. Her mother has asked that donations be made to the local animal shelter in Catherine’s name. This is a link to the Newtown Animal Shelter/Pound (they care for cats too, despite the name) http://canineadvocates.org/index.html

    And more information: http://www.newtown-ct.gov/public_documents/newtownct_police/Op%20Folder/Animal%20Control%20Officer

    On the immediate front, I think that’s a very concrete and loving thing to do. Donate money to causes helpful to society in general, maybe splitting the money 50/50 with Newtown and your own community. Do it in the name of a specific child, or in the name of all of the children.

  16. Just a general note on donations… When you donate to something that gets a huge amount of attention like this, please donate unrestricted to the general fund of the charity instead of for one thing, unless you feel compelled to donate to that specifically for one reason or another. When you allocate it to one thing, the charity is forced to use it for what you specify, even if they get too many donations. Especially in this circumstance, where the victims are from an affluent area, I can’t imagine there is a huge financial need. I love the pp’s idea of donating to something that helps society in general!

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