Wednesday’s TPS Report: Inga Blouse

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Lafayette 148 New York Inga BlouseNeiman Marcus has so. many. good. things. on. sale right now. This Lafayette 148 Inga blouse is probably not everyone’s cup of tea, but I love it — I like the longer length, the wrapped waist, and the dusty blue color — and I’m intrigued by the “tech fabric.” This blouse was $228, but is now marked to $114. Lafayette 148 New York Inga Blouse

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Comments

  1. And here I thought pregnancy was going to be a shopping hiatus . . . but this looks like I could TOTALLY wear it for a month or two now!

    • saac n mama :

      Peasant blouses were big when I was pregnant. I was disappointed to find that even though they looked loose and flowing on the hanger, when I put them on, they were tight around my tummy.

  2. Cornellian :

    Want! I am a petite, pale person, so maybe it would work? But I feel like this is one of those tops that looks better online than in person…

  3. This blouse is really pretty, although I don’t think I could wear it – I don’t have a long enough waist. This color would also do nothing for me. I’m wondering – it looks like the kind of fabric that could really wrinkle. Or maybe it’s just made to look that way.

  4. AnonInfinity :

    In. Love. With. This.

  5. This reads “mother of the bride at formal bridal shower tea” to me. Something about the fabric is a little too daytime formal for the office.

  6. Beautiful blouse. Say, I saw an ad on the side of the Corporette page for Bluesuits – looks to be a vendor of fairly pricey but nice interview-type suits. I’m tall and always in need of a well-fitting suit. Has anyone ordered from Bluesuits? If so, what’s the verdict?

  7. SV in House :

    It has been a long time since I looked for a job, so please forgive my ignorance. When you find a job online and also have a connection (e.g. a friend who knows someone at the company), in what order do you apply? Apply online, then ask friend to link you up or ask friend to pass resume along before filling out online application? In the Stone Age, when I last looked, the online application was rare — we actually used nice, heavy ecru paper sometimes! (OK, so I did email resumes the last time around, but I do remember paper resumes).

    Also, k_padi recommended a couple of career coaches, but I would love some more San Francisco area recommendations for folks that can help with my resume and mapping out career possibilities.

    • East Coast Anon :

      Kind of what you’re asking about…I applied for my current job online. I then saw I had a connection at the company on LinkedIn. My connection susequently submitted an employee referral for me and it got connected with the info I submitted behind the scenes.

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      IMO, it doesn’t really matter as long as both happen within a reasonably short time frame of one another (like, within 48 hours or so), but I would probably apply and then have your friend pop by and give the heads up, “Hey, my buddy SV in House mentioned she’d be applying and she’s pretty awesome, I’m just passing on her resume” so that the hirer can then immediately pull up your info from the online application and take a look, before it slips their mind.

    • Cornellian :

      What field are you in, and what size employers are you considering? If it’s a small place, I would probably give the resume to the connection if it’s a close one and ask him/her to put it on his/her boss’ desk. If it’s a larger place, I imagine they have a more formal process in place, and I would submit it through there, then follow up with your friend like East Coast Anon suggested.

      I imagine it would also depend on field and your level of experience. I would imagine higher up positions or more specialized or creative fields would make it more likely that a friend placing the resume on someone’s desk is the way to go. Take this all with a grain of salt, as I’ve only hired 18-23 year olds, and am 26 myself.

    • I always apply online but then immediately send my application materials (resume, cover letter, etc) to any connections I have saying I just submitted it, but could they please forward it on, etc. I’ve been one doing the passing on many times and our HR dept always insists they apply online as well.

    • I would ask your contact first for advice — some companies don’t pay EE referrals if you applied online first b/c they already “found” you. You always need to apply online, but I think it’s really best to talk to anyone internally that you know before you do that as each place can have its own quirks & if there is a referral bonus at stake, you want your contact 100% incentivized to help you out.

  8. meh.

    in other news, i’m trying to come up with a good answer to the ‘why are you looking for a new job?’ interview question. i only started my current job in september and i am miserable. i have been bullied a couple of times by my boss and there is dysfunction on a grandiose scale. i have an interview friday and haven’t yet found the right words. i want to stay positive and not dwell on why i’m leaving, but i don’t really feel like giving a stupid job interview response (“it was a bad fit”). ideas?

    • I’d focus on why you want the new job. Does it require a specific skill that you have and really enjoy using? Have great opportunities to contribute off the bat, but also encourages personal development? You don’t have to say anything bad about your former employer. Instead of “Company X was a bad fit”, demonstrate why Company Y is a phenomenal fit.

    • (former) Clueless Summer :

      Agreed about focusing on the new job – if you can genuinely say this, tell the interviewer that this new job seemed like such a great opportunity, you didn’t want to pass it up, even if you haven’t been at X company long.

    • You can say that your current job turned out not to be in sync with your career goals. Whereas the new job description is, as KC says, a phenomenal fit.
      Be prepared to talk about your career goals, what’s “off” in the current job, and take care not to appear inflexible.

    • I think you could get away with saying all of the above, plus some reference to the culture not being a great fit. “Culture” is a code reference for “they’re all insane there.” Plus depending on the industry, the interviewer may know exactly what you’re talking about by saying that and not judge you negatively at all for leaving said insanity.

      • This. Workplaces get reputations and some of them are not good. I’ve had two job hunts where I didn’t fit with the “culture”. Have a stock answer and don’t lie. Mine was “they hired me on expecting a certain type of work (done by the target firm) but that work never came through. So I ended up doing another type of work (that was really outside my expertise) to make hours.” If they press you, and some interviewers who are in the know will, don’t let them trip you up. Try to say something along the lines of “yes, Workplace does have a reputation but the culture isn’t the primary reason why I’m looking for a new job.”

        And practice your wry smile and eye roll–they’ll come in handy for follow-ups. At one point, an interviewer went on about my employer for a good 2-3 minutes, looked at me for a comment and I just stayed silent. After 10 seconds (maybe it was less but it felt like an eternity), he threw his hands in the air and said “well, we all gotta eat.” and moved on to other topics.

    • I think many people underestimate fit. But rather than just saying it was a bad fit, maybe you could come up with some reasons why it’s a bad fit. Not mentioning the bullying, of course. You could talk about what you thought the job would be and what it was in reality and how those two things didn’t match.

  9. I have a similar shirt (long sleeves though) and the waist sash is really flattering, especially if you have a straight figure. I also love that the bottom poufs just enough to disguise a large lunch ;)

  10. Bob and collar :

    How do you ladies deal with having (longer) bobs and then wearing collared button-downs? Is it possible at all? Somehow it never works for me, no matter how hard I try

  11. So. For the first time since I was laid of from my big law job a year and a few months ago, I’m officially unemployed. My contract jobs have both ended. I have a lead on a new contract job and a lead on a real job – but for now I’m unemployed and I’m lonely and frustrated and I just don’t know what to do.

    I don’t even know if I’m asking for advice or just venting. The impact hasn’t been so bad this last week or so because I’ve had the plague that’s going around and have thus been basically comatose – but I’m starting to feel it. I’m kind of lonely and depressed. And wondering if I should apply for non-lawyer jobs. Though I have no idea what non-lawyer jobs to apply for. Any ideas would be appreciated. Or even any encouragement. Or just whatever.

    Mostly I’m just frustrated. It.is.so.frustrating.

    • Oh, TCFKAG, I’m so sorry. I know you’re probably sick of hearing this, but keep your chin up, dear. I think any action is better than inaction at this point – if a non-lawyer job sounds interesting, give it a shot! You don’t have to make a decision until you have an offer. Try to get out and do things that will get you a bit more social interaction, too, even if it means parking yourself at Starbucks to do job applications. The best I can say is to find ways to invest in yourself during this time – start a new gym routine (or run, if you’re not a gym member), maybe pick up a new hobby, but do things that remind you of your (ahem, extremely high!) self-worth. I think it’s very easy to get our sense of self worth from our jobs, and it’s just not reality. Your job or lack thereof is not what defines you. I wish I could bring you tea/cookies/scotch/chocolate/whatever, but know that we’re rooting for you from far and wide!

    • Houston Attorney :

      I agree with petitsq. First of all, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you were laid off and I’m sorry you are sick. Somehow, being sick makes everything feel worse, doesn’t it? So yes, yes and yes to petitesq’s advice.

      I would certainly add an “amen” to looking for non-legal jobs. Let’s face it – so much of what we do transcends job title. Review, negotiate, supervise, see projects through from beginning to end, communicate, market, write… What non-profit/business/PR firm/whatever wouldn’t need these skills?

      One thing I’ve read (it was in a Marcus Buckingham book) is that your strengths are things that make you feel strong, and your weaknesses are things that make you feel weak. Where we typically think our strengths are things we’re good at and our weaknesses are things we’re bad at, actually there can be a benefit in taking note on what we feel good about doing and what we do because, well, we have to do it, but it just leaves us depleted or not strong. Maybe there are parts of your jobs or personal life that you can think back on and know it made you feel great and you actually really enjoyed this part. This might help you as you look for jobs.

      And call in those friends! All of your attorney friends and non-attorney friends and the great people who know you and love you – tell them if you decide to look for a non-law job. Tell them what you’d love to do and ask them to keep their eyes open for you.

      But all my rambling aside, really the thing to do now is eat soup, drink tea and feel better.

    • Next week will be another Boston meet-up, assuming we have any interest (and the weather isn’t ridiculously cold). You can vent to us.

      Meanwhile, I agree with petitesq. While you need to send out apps, take some time for yourself. I’ve been laid off twice. I would get online and send out apps/resumes in the morning and then work out. You might also look into doing some daytrips. The last time I was unemployed I did some fun things like taking my niece out to lunch on her birthday.

    • So sorry to hear that. I hesitate to make this suggestion, but have you tried anti-depressants? I saw my doctor so many times when I was looking for a job that she offered to write me a reference, and when I told her that I felt angry and irritated all.the.time, she said that was an early warning sign and prescribed a low dose of a common anti-depressant. It’s made a big difference for me.

      I hope you feel better soon. I’m in bed with the flu myself.

      • Houston Attorney :

        I absolutely mean nothing but good – reading that you saw your doctor so many times she offered to write you a reference made me laugh! And it is proof positive that you are not crazy at all (a doctor whose job it is to know that says so!!) but that circumstances can be overwhelming and that it is a-ok to need an anti-depressant to get you through a tough season. Great advice for TCFKAG and a great reminder for all of us who are struggling.

        And I hope you also feel better soon. The flu is no fun at all, says Captain Obvious. :)

      • Actually – I am on antidepressants – though they were initially prescribed for migraines (though I think my doc was stealthily treating my feelings about my job search.

        Funnily enough, one of my doctors once wrote a letter of reference for me for a scholarship once too. I spend a lot of time with my doctors. We’re besties.

    • I’m so sorry!! That’s got to be rough. Someone just yesterday (I think) suggested making a list of things you’ve wanted to improve in your real life, not work life, and begin accomplishing some of those things. I thought that was a great idea. So you could list “make photo books for the last few years, run 10 miles without stopping, read this list of books I haven’t had time to read, get better about writing handwritten notes to friends, etc.” And then start checking those things off so you’re still really accomplishing something. I thought that was a really good idea!

    • Hugs and rawrs, friend, hugs and rawrs.

    • Good luck!

      Perhaps you can meet up with some old contacts for coffe/lunch/drinks to stay in the loop. And don’t forget to talk about other things, or life starts to seem really depressing.

    • Infrequent poster, regular lurker here. Ditto what petitesq said. I was unemployed for an extended period of time (did a career change post-layoff) and it can be a tough road to walk – but definitely good things to come. And with the benefit of some hindsight, I really do value that time now.

      First of all, give yourself some time to grieve the layoff. While it happened awhile ago, you’ve had the cushion of contract work. It’s okay to need a couple of weeks to absorb/process – you’ll be much sharper in interviews if you do.

      Second, let yourself take control over your time and your life. It’s easy to focus on what was done to you – to feel like a victim. Take it back – you now have 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week that are entirely up to you. As CEO of your life, how do YOU want to spend the time? Sign up for a class, tackle that hobby you always wish you had more time for, exercise (great for confidence), etc. It’s truly not possible to job hunt 40 hours a week (you’ll just end up driving contacts crazy), so gift yourself the time to do what you love.

      Third, there is no faster way to sink into despair than being alone all day. That was the hardest part for me. I felt like I didn’t have any perspective because it was just me alone with my thoughts – couldn’t make decisions, evaluate what a phone call or interview meant, etc. So I started making nightly commitments 3 to 5 days a week – book club, coffees, happy hour, etc. It can be really hard – sometimes the last thing you want to do is see people b/c all they’ll ask about is your job search or unintentionally make you feel inadequate by talking about their work. But you can’t do this alone! I also found it helpful to get dressed and go “work” somewhere on my job search. And spend time with or talking on the phone to friends with flexible schedules during the day.

      Best of luck to you! You’re on to something great. And I promise when you are crazy busy at the next job, you’ll look back and really value the time you invested in yourself when you could – who knows, you might never have free time like this again.

      • I definitely second this. I was unemployed for 6 months in 2012 and the only thing that kept me sane was setting up lunch/coffee dates a couple days a week. And exercising.

        It’s a really difficult time to go through, and you just have to do whatever keeps you sane.

      • Ditto- my last unemployment streak was only 1 month (relocated to a different market), but despair sets in when it’s just you and a job search engine.

        Eventually, my husband rolled me out of bed and drove me to the boardwalk to play games like a little kid. Surprising how much that helped!

    • Oh, I’m so sorry!! That is horrible. I think people have given great advice, but also, if you’ve been sick, just give yourself time to really recover. And definitely find things to do during the day that make you happy, even if it’s having a glass of wine and rewatching episodes of shirtless Matt Bomer! ;o)

      Huggsss

      • Seconding this. Matt Bomer! Also, GG!

        Also, hugs on the layoff.

        If you are one of those ppl that went (big)law because it’s what follows law school and not because law/partnership is what you want to do FOREVER, it might be an opportunity to look for something that you TRULY want to do? (too many classmates of mine are wanting to jump ship so they can pursue their govt/public health/education career)

        Sending you a virtual hot choc from City Bakery.

    • I’ll just note that if you need something to get you out of the house (hopefully it’s a short amount of time) consider some volunteering. If it’s your baliwick, consider volunteering to help prepare tax returns (AARP are training now, probably have sites in your area and are often looking for help – also you might run into retired professionals that could help your network, eh?) or volunteer with the local pro bono board.

      • Agree with this. It sounds cliche, but it makes you feel better. Plus, as my mother would say, you never know who you’re going to meet!

      • +1 on this. Also consider (finances permitting) getting away for a few days now and then. I found that being home just reminded me all the time that I was unemployed. When I was away, I just paid attention to the change of scenery and could forget for a little while, which was a nice break. If you can’t afford to go away overnight, consider taking just a day trip once in awhile to a totally different town/area and giving yourself the day “off” from job hunting.

    • MaggieLizer :

      Hugs, I’m so sorry. Any chance of expanding your tumblr as a source of income? I know we all appreciate your shopping advice!

    • Well, you know I’m in the same boat. So we should have lunch, get sloshed and make fun of people who can’t do that in the middle of the day.

    • *tea & sympathy*

    • I’m very sorry to hear this, TCFKAG. Not being a lawyer myself I can’t give specific suggestions job-wise, but I will say that I’ve had some periods of terrible disappointment and frustration in my career too. The advice people are giving is great–I especially second getting properly dressed (this is a major one for me psychologically–button-front shirt every day for some reason helps tremendously) and making a point of being around people as much as possible, even if they’re coffee shop strangers. I also like to think that finding what else you are, other than a worker/brain, during times like this, provides some insulation against inevitable future knocks.

      If you’re interested in medication then it sounds like you could talk to your prescriber about upping dosage on the one you have now. I can equally see wanting to go that route, and not wanting to go that route.

    • Wine and dark chocolate cookies, my dear TCFKAG. Having watched my DH go through a painful period of unemployment, I think the other ladies have offered great advice about actually getting dressed at a reasonable hour and leaving the house almost every day, volunteering (I bet your local Boys & Girls Club or public library would **LOVE** to have you come help with homework and reading skills), and taking advantage of your time off to do fun things at off-peak weekday hours, including musuems, matinee movies, and getting sloshed. I am not sure this was suggested yet, but once you start feeling un-sick, exercise at least 30 minutes every day. Use your time off to get in the best shape of your life, with the very important side effect of a feeling of accomplishment and endorphins which will help manage your depression (as it does mine).

    • Well – I channeled my frustration into some action. I contacted some networking contacts. I applied to some new jobs. And I signed up for a training for a pro bono project that would hopefully get me into court eventually.

      I shall not be a failure. Or at least not more of one.

      • Given that I am prone to catastrophic thinking and obsessing about perceived “failures” for years and am terrified of one too many “failures” making me A Failure At Life, I have to step in right now, look you straight in the eye, hold your shoulders, and say firmly to you: YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. If anything, the economy failed YOU. You are fabulous and smart and loving and hard working and diligent and honest and perceptive and witty. Now go tape a note to your mirror that says YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE cuz you are absolutely not.

        • springtime :

          When I was going through a rough time in undergrad (relationship wise amongst other things), applying to med and law school at the same time (I KNOW THAT IS CRAZY), and had a heavy course load, I wrote inspirational quotes on my mirror with dry erase markers and I honestly think it helped me to KICK butt that semester.

    • This is terrible, TCFKAG, and I hope it doesn’t last long.

      But here’s an idea. People have been saying on here for some time that they’d be willing to hire you for your super shopper skillz. Maybe now is the time to have some fun with that idea?

    • TCFKAG, I’ve got nothing to add to all of this excellent advice but hugs and good wishes.

    • Anonymous :

      Hugs. Am so sorry. I was unemployed for 3 months and I was a major wreck. Don’t let that happen to you. I like B23’s suggestion. While on one side, you need to figure out your work-side like preparing for interviews and being as prepared as possible, applying for jobs, may be taking up short-term courses which could help in your career, you should also take some time to do other non-work related stuff to keep yourself busy and I bet it’s going to be time well spent. If you’re in the habit of reading, start with reading books that are happy and end well (like a chicklit where the chick gets it all at the end, if you’re into that kind of stuff) and you could forget your work situation for a bit. Good luck!

    • Wine & cookies. :(

    • Diana Barry :

      Aww, man! Hope you feel better soon. And you will find a new job soon! Keep your chin up. I can buy you coffee sometime too. :)

    • So sorry you are sick and feeling down. Unemployment is the worst and can be so soul-crushing when the job search isn’t going well. I was officially unemployed for 4 months before doing contract work for two months and then I took a job I was wary about because it was a permanent gig. Huge mistake. I was depressed and they wanted me and it felt SO GOOD TO BE WANTED after so much rejection. I ended up being miserable there for 10 months before I finally found my current (wonderful) job. So my two cents is to go ahead and stick it out for a job that you really want. In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck.

    • Chinarette :

      Just came off of a long(ish) job hunt myself, although I think I’m much younger than you. The best thing I can say is: tell everyone you see that you’re looking. I got the connection for my new job from a completely random acquaintance I’d only met once. Keep it upbeat, but when people asked me what I was doing, I’d be frank and say “Well, I just [relocated/transitioned out of my previous position/etc], and I’m looking for a new opportunity. Let me know if you know anything!” Most people didn’t, but some great opportunities came my way. It took 6 months, but I found a great new gig.

      SFBAyA’s comments are spot on, too.

  12. I met another [this websiter] last night! Friend of a friend that I met at a going away party; we got to talking, and [this website] came up. Pretty cool.

  13. Is it okay to cry in the office if the reason is physical pain? The elevator doors closed on me on my way in and owwww. and I just want to cry it hurts so badly.

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      As long as you aren’t like, wracked with sobs like you’re seeing your one true love off to war, I think its okay to let some tears escape if you’re in physical pain. Yesterday, I definitely had tears running down my face when I was fixing the copier, stood up too fast, and banged my head (hard) on the top of it.

      I hope you are okay! Can you get an ice pack?

      PSA guys, be cautious in running or slipping into elevators that are closing. My sister worked in that NY building where the woman died in the elevator last year and it’s made me be super careful in elevators.

      http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/15/nyregion/elevator-accident-kills-a-woman-in-a-madison-avenue-building.html?_r=0

      • MaggieLizer :

        Omg just reading the description made me nauseous. This is one of my #1 fears and why I always put my purse in the elevator if it’s starting to close rather than my hand or foot. Shudder. OP, hope you can get some ice packs and start feeling better soon.

      • ugh that is the saddest story.

      • terrible story. I don’t remember if she rushed in last minute but it is something I just never understand with elevators/trains. All the time on the DC metro people rush to get in after the bell, and then look so shocked when they get stuck. that elevator story was something out of a movie, it was so sad!

        • momentsofabsurdity :

          I believe she rushed in at the last minute but my sister told me the elevators in that building always closed way too fast, and it was a regular topic of conversation how quick the elevators seemed to start moving up even as they were closing. So I think there was a safety issue at play there as well.

        • The article says the elevator unexpectedly lurched upward with the doors still open, after she placed one foot inside, and she was trapped against the wall between floors. I assume she lost her balance when the elevator lurched and was unable to jump in or out. Sounded like a total elevator malfunction, not rider error.

      • Yep. I NEVER run for a closing elevator now. When my husband was living in Houston a few years ago, a medical resident got stuck in a closing elevator door and well…have any of you seen that scene in the first Resident Evil movie with the elevator?

        The people already in the elevator had to get counselling for their PTSD – it was that horrific. So yeah…never try to “catch” a closing elevator.

        • momentsofabsurdity :

          One of the women who was in the elevator (not the woman who died) is now suing the building for emotional trauma. She said she can’t get in elevators at all anymore, at work or at home, and I don’t blame her. I don’t think I’d ever get into an elevator again if I was trapped in one after someone had been stuck.

          • SoCalAtty :

            I don’t blame her. I was already scared of elevators…that didn’t help. The one saving grace about me working on the 18th floor (I hate tall buildings!) is that the building is only 5-7 years old and everything is very shiny and new. My first firm had the type of elevators that caused this accident, and I never tried to run for one or get in one that was too full!

        • Anyone else remember the law school cases with a guy being DECAPITATED (sorry for the Ellen caps) by an elevator? The crux of the case was the people couldn’t sue for emotional distress because they weren’t directly related to the deceased, but o.m.g. I’ve been afraid of elevators ever since. And I’ve lectured total strangers in elevators when they stick their hands in to hold it. Wherever you are going, just wait for the next one!!

          • Oh but to the point, if no one can see you, no one knows if a few tears escape. Find a quiet corner if you can. Sorry it hurts :(

      • Woods-comma-Elle :

        Aww hope it stops hurting! Yes I think it’s ok to cry for physical pain!

        There was a case here a few years ago at the gym near my office where everyone was getting out of the lift and the last person was left in and the lift dropped and she was caught in the doors and died. They no longer have a lift in that building, only stairs. Really sad.

    • I hope you are ok! Get an icepack, take some anti-inflammatories if you’re swelling and that’s your thing, get a comforting snack/hot drink.

      I am pretty sure I cried somewhere between the street, CVS (looking for an ice pack and new tights), my office health unit, and my cubicle last year when I fell on the metro escalator.

      • Yep, got an icepack. Just let a few tears slip. This is my second large-ish work injury in two weeks (smacked my knee on a marble floor last week). Maybe it’s a sign. Thanks for the positive thoughts!

    • In the Pink :

      When I was in grad school, another student put his forearm into the door’s path and had his wrist broken. Please, be careful! Nothing is that important that you can’t wait for another lift…right?

    • You actually should be reporting this to your office HR person since it’s a workers’ comp injury. That might become important if it turns out to be more severe than you think it is.

  14. yeaa i got tickets to a band i loovee. now, what to wear? it will be cold outside (DC) and hot hot inside.

    • Well if it’s this weekend, it won’t be that cold in DC, I don’t think.

      Layer with things you could tie around your waist? Assuming it’s a show where you stand the whole time.

      • yup, this. I think it’s supposed to be almost 70 on Saturday! How far do you have to walk outside? It will probably cool down again at night, but you might be fine with just a scarf/pashmina over your choice for indoor weather.

    • First, is there a coat check? If yes, are you comfortable arriving early enough to be sure of getting a slot in it, and are you comfortable fighting your way through a drunken aggro crowd to pick it up? If yes to all, plan to take a cab and dress for the hot hot inside.

      If there’s not a coat check, or if you don’t feel like dealing with it, take the lightest and/or most easily collapsible piece of outerwear you can get by with.

      …but seriously. Coats are SUCH AN ISSUE. I remember one time this random girl and I got the literal-to-God last two coat hangers at the 930 Club, and the people behind us in line lost. their. tiny. minds. Or the time in Richmond there was allegedly shoving in the line to pick coats up, and a fight broke out. Etc. etc. etc. /vent

      Coat aside, I usually wear a cute top, miniskirt, boots, and tights, or a cute top, leggings, and boots. Probably with a big pashmina–they’re easy to crumple up in my purse, or tie around a strap, if necessary.

      Also this is all assuming we are talking about the same kind of grungy sticky-floored concerts. Things are different at nicer venues. DAR, for example, has fixed seating, so you can bring whatever outwear and then sit on it.

      • thanks everyone! the show is at the 930 club next weekend. the last time i was there the coat check was maxed out and i had to hold my huge coat the whole time. its supposed to be pretty cold next week, so i’ll just have to deal with the coat issue. my larger problem is that i dont know how to dress on weekends.

    • Love the Mindy reference!

  15. Lurker/sometime commentator here: calling all… Canadians! Please help! How do I get hold of Joe Fresh shoes online? I basically have seen the most incredible pair of shoes but I can’t find them anywhere online. Will reply with link to get through moderation.

    Or US equivalents? Ahh!

    • Equity's Darling :

      I have no clue if they’re available online or in the US.

      Butttt, I will be stopping by a Joe Fresh store (well, I wasn’t intending to visit the store proper, but I’ll be the same mall area, so close enough) this weekend, and I’d be happy to have a looksie for you and mail them to you? You can email me cdn[this site] at the gmail, to see if we can figure something out?

    • Those are adorable shoes, but since that blog post was from Jan 2012 I doubt you’ll find them anywhere. :( They’re pretty vigilant about clearing out old stock in store, and I’m not sure if they sell online anywhere. Sorry!

    • Divaliscious11 :

      Do you have friends in NYC or places where there is a Fresh Joe store? There stuff apparently sells pretty fast so if you see something, its best to make the call. I wonder, though if you could call, purchase over the phone and have someone pick up? I’ll need to ask…..

  16. SV in House :

    By the way, thanks to the poster that noted that the Target/NM collaboration was on sale. I got a great dress for my daughter, down from $80 to $24 (http://www.target.com/p/marchesa-girl-s-floral-dress/-/A-14207117#prodSlot=medium_1_24) and a cute top for me, down from $60 to $21 (http://www.target.com/p/lela-rose-top/-/A-14206601#prodSlot=medium_1_20). I saw the dress in store, but didn’t want to spend full price for a non-utilitarian piece for a growing girl.

  17. I got a “no, but keep looking” rejection from my dream job. I’m bummed. I have another runner up dream job that I’m waiting to hear from, and not uncrossing my fingers yet, but I’m bummed. And obviously I can’t vent about it to anyone at work so….that is all.

  18. FrownyFace :

    Ladies – quick question: I’m in my late 20’s, and have always (since I was a little girl) furrowed my brow/forehead when I concentrate. It’s totally unconscious, and I can’t really do anything to stop it. In the past year or so I’ve noticed that some lines are showing up on my forehead (more eyebrows-raised expression lines than deep-furrow in between my brows), and from looking at my parents, I can tell that this is something that is likely to become more pronounced over time. I’m a pretty low-maintenence gal (wear SPF-15 moisturizer daily, but no makeup, etc.), but I’m starting to wonder if this is something I should be trying to head off now, while it’s still early. No botox or anything crazy like that, but some sort of cream I can use daily or a few times a week to help ward these forehead-lines off. I’m pretty clueless about all things beauty-product, and don’t know if there’s a difference between these sorts of lines and the ones you get around your eyes, or if there are creams targeted at these particular expression lines. Any thoughts/recommendations would be greatly appreciated!

    • FrownyFace :

      Just re-read: I’m not saying that botox is crazy in and of itself. I think it’s probably great, and has its place for certain people. It’s just something I don’t see myself doing at this point :)

      • If you’re not into it, you’re not into it. But I started Botox a year ago (I do a little bit every six months) for these exact reasons. Between my job, dark corners of the internet, and sunshine, I realized I was scowling at everything all the time. I don’t have creases, and hopefully Botox will prevent (or minimize) them.

        Added benefit: fewer headaches. STG.

    • Are you me? Because you and me are forehead wrinkle twins. Awaiting responses to this!

    • I think when it comes to those deep forehead wrinkles, genetics has a huge role to play. My mom, who otherwise doesn’t have a lot of wrinkles on her face (she’s 60), has very deep forehead wrinkles. I really don’t think it has a lot to do with how often you frown/furrow/smile etc. And I feel like any wrinkle cream wouldn’t be powerful enough to combat the issue; so maybe use them but also consider that when they get to be an actual problem you may want to try botox.

    • I do the same thing and my derm actually recommended botox. Apparently if you do it while you’re younger, you only require a little dose and it actually prevents you from continuing the action so you don’t worsen the wrinkles. I haven’t taken the step yet ($$) but likely will soon. In the mean time, I’m using olay’s night regenerist cream.

    • Cornellian :

      i have legit had forehead wrinkles since I was 18, despite religious sunscreen, moisturizer, etc. I have also heard good things about preventive botox, and as much as it creeps me out to have that suggested to then-24 year old me, I’m considering it.

      I think my 8 years post high school of education and lawyer job have only made it worse.

      I have found that philosophy’s microdermabrasion soap helps a little bit. It’s expensive, but you really need tiny amounts. I bought a bottle a year ago and I’m only a third through it… I should probably throw it out because of its age, but I think it’s really quite cost effective per use.

    • Actually, a bit of botox would probably be best. It sounds like this has to do with the way you move your face, so a tiny bit of botox to paralyze, or weaken, the furrowing muscles would probably help.

      Otherwise, Retin-A is the only thing I know of that actually promotes collagen production. Wrinkles and crevices form in part because of the breakdown in collagen. You might want to consider seeing a dermatologist, maybe one with an attached “med-spa” service, they’d probably give you the best advice.

    • You can use Retin-A, I think that’s pretty much the only thing that will actually prevent wrinkles.

    • No More Wrinkles! :

      I have been using a great face cream for a while that works great on brow lines. Full disclosure – I also now sell this product on the side when I’m not at my “real” job. :) If you want more info, feel free to e-mail me at nomorewrinkleshere @ g mail . com

      • No More Wrinkles! :

        I also want to add, that I normally wouldn’t even offer this on this website….but since you specifically asked for a cream that can be used to help, I felt like I had to offer it. It really does work great.

    • I’m in my early 20s and sleep with a mean furrow on my brow at night. After some research I’ve started wearing “frownies.” The concept sounds ridiculous but I really notice an improvement in the morning. As far as day time frowning, I’m at a loss.

    • I will have some sort of injection in my forehead before I’m 40, for sure, but in the meantime what helps minimize their appearance for me is hydration, sleep, Vitamin C serum during day, peptide cream at night, moisturizer, and semi-regular facials/peels.

    • springtime :

      Retin-A helps re-build and maintain collagen to prevent wrinkles. I don’t know how well it works for deep set ones, but it certainly won’t hurt and will stop others from forming.

    • You are me! I catch myself furrowing my brows all the time when I’m thinking about something, and now I’m developing some lovely horizontal forehead lines at barely 25.

      I’ve started being more conscious about taking my makeup off at night (which I NEVER used to do – shame on me) and using an Olay night cream with beta hydroxy. I also purchased the Boscia black mask, which I think is just good for your skin in general and have been researching a few other anti-aging creams at Sephora as well. However, I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I’ll be botoxing that area once I cross the threshold of 30. Whatevs.

    • Don’t knock the botox! I started it when I was young and only just starting to notice those expression lines from my unconscious brow-furrowing due to a stressful job. If you start early, you don’t require a lot of of the chemical, which means that it is 1) less expensive and 2) less frozen-face looking.

      The way my derm explained it is that each time you “furrow” you’re flexing that muscle, and that muscle gets bigger and stronger over time, just like doing curls will make your bicepts bigger. While you might like to have defined arm and leg muscles, you don’t want defined forehead muscles :) Also, the stronger the muscle is, the more toxin it takes to relax it. So if you start the injections early, you don’t require as much toxin and you prevent the muscle from becoming stronger.

      As an aside, I used to often find myself with the occasional headache due to brow-furrowing. Since doing the botoxing (about 2 years now), it has not been a problem.

      • FYI, I receive botox shots for horizontal furrows in my forehead–a small dose in four locations across the middle of my forehead. It takes about 10 minutes at the doctor’s office, and I do it once every 3 months and it costs $75 each time.

    • Same problem/age/etc. except I don’t think I frown at night… Went to my derm a few months ago because I wanted to deal with this and a few other things. She put me on a perscription-strength retinol (a.k.a. Retin-A), but there are over the counter versions available as well, and that will help, but she also recommended Botox. The Botox isn’t to make the current wrinkles go away per say, but what it does is, since it boosts the skin up, it prevents the wrinkles from getting deeper and worse over time. I haven’t taken that plunge but I do think about it from time to time. I can’t imagine being a 28 year old Botox-user, but if it means I’d be less likely to need/want more work done as I get older…. Something to consider.

      • Just a correction to what Lola said. Botox doesn’t “boost skin up”–it’s not a filler. It is a toxin that paralyzes muscles under the skin. It can be used in conjunction with a filler if you’ve already developed the wrinkle before you begin botox, but that will cost extra :)

  19. laid off associate from yesterday :

    I wanted to thank everyone for the advice and encouragement yesterday (and for defending my emergency fund!). It helped.

  20. Guys, how do you shop for new pillows? Do you go to a fancy pillow store or do you go to Macy’s or do you go to some place like Bed Bath & Beyond? How do you test your new pillows? How do you know what kind you need?

    I know that I desperately need to replace my current pillows, and I sort of know what I like or dislike in pillows, but beyond that I just feel lost. How can you know if something will work without sleeping on it, and how on earth can there be a return policy for something that’s been slept on?!

    (Also, all those chiropractic-health guides saying “Are you a back sleeper or a stomach sleeper?” are no help because I sleep on my back *and* my side!)

    • I get cheaper but not the cheapest pillows at Macy’s on sale once a year or so. I read that after a while, a significant percentage of pillow stuffing ends up being dust mites. Eww.

    • Are there actually fancy pillow stores? We need new ones and Mr. TBK has been talking about how he wants to go to a fancy pillow store for them (he who never wants the “fancy” version of anything). I didn’t think they actually existed.

      • Cuddledown has some very fancy pillows. (Seriously, like a three thousand dollar pillow, although they also have many that are under $100.) Brookstone has a few pillows that are fancier. We splurged on one with a gel insert for my husband and he LOVES it.

    • i get my pillows from Ikea, but maybe go to Macy’s, grab a few different pillows and take them to the beds to ‘try them out’? obviously keeping your feet on the floor, but try different pillows out in different positions.

      I sleep on my side and back as well, and i’ve found i like really fluffy down pillows of ‘medium’ firmness (not too firm) they are really malleable, so i can have a lot of support under my neck when i’m on my side, but make it more flat when i move onto my back. Just if that helps. ;o)

    • Marshalls/Home Goods. I just walk around and squeeze all the pillows that are marked for side sleepers, then for the top contenders put them on a lower display and bend over to put my head on them. Yes, I am that crazy lady.

    • Like Zora, I get my pillows from Ikea. I have a “side” and a “back,” and I usually just start out with whichever one for the position I think I will fall asleep in.

      Costco near me had a decent selection of pillows, including some kind of memory foam one. I would guess their excellent return policy would apply, so if you really did not like what you got and didn’t want to save it for guests/watching movies in bed, you could return it.

    • I go to Bed Bath & Beyond, look for some that Just Right (not too fluffy, not too flat), then, like MsZ, put them down & put my head on them. I like to replace them more frequently than most people (every 9-12 months), so I don’t worry about fancy.

    • Divaliscious11 :

      I buy my pillows at Costco….

    • I think mamabear posted once that she got measured for new pillows and was really happy with her purchase. I want to do this.

    • A note of caution – Ru’s 59 day monster headache that after a dozen (?) doctors turns out to have been caused by new pillows which resulted in a very un-ergonomic sleeping position. If you start noticing new aches/pains, consider blaming your pillows. That said, mine are the down ones at Costco. My chiropractor insists on sleeping on my back, so I’ve trained myself to comply (former stomach sleeper here).

      • How did you do this? I always read that sleeping on your back is best for minimizing wrinkles but I just. can’t. do. it. I am a side/stomach sleeper and cannot fall asleep on my back ever.

      • Your chiropractor sleeps on your back? Teehee. (I know it wasn’t what you meant but it made me giggle.) I actually think I could use a chiropractor hanging out in my bedroom at night telling me off when I sleep in a bad position….

        • Ha! There was a missing “my” in there – My chiropractor insists on MY sleeping on my back. It would be really great if he hung out and adjusted me every night though. AnonAZ, I’m not sure… I think my subconscious finally complied with what I wanted. I’d start reading in bed while on my back, get sleepy on my back, and not let myself turn over to fall asleep. Sometimes I’d wake up on my stomach, and I’d force myself to turn over on to my back until I fell asleep again. Each and every time I realized I was on my stomach, I’d make myself turn over. After about three months, my subconscious got with the program.

      • Gurlfren, I should’ve consulted you first! I am learning how to sleep on my back. The three things that are training me are:
        1. sleeping on the couch (the arm rests are low and perfect for my head, no wonder I sleep on the couch many nights)
        2. sleeping on a u-shaped travel pillow with two pillows stacked under my legs (I woke up hungry – I don’t remember the last time I was hungry before that. Maybe Ramadan?)
        3. sleeping on my heated gel pack under my neck because of ouchies (it’s this cool bag filled with gel and beads that you can microwave or freeze)

        Day 60 is the least painful day so far. Yay! My chiropractor also told me to learn how to sleep on my back. He said it took him 6 weeks to learn, so I’ll give myself 2 months.

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