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Today’s reader mail comes from a reader with a serious problem… she has belatedly realized she has body odor, and worries it’s affected the way her colleagues view her.
I happened to see my mother at lunchtime today and when I walked over to her, she had a strong reaction – she said I smelled! I had just come from work and was going back to work, so I was obviously very upset. When I inquired a little further, she said that I actually have a body odor issue, apparently on a somewhat regular basis. I was shocked. First because I truly had no idea; second because neither my mother nor sisters nor other close friends have ever given me any indication I had a problem. Now I’ve moved on to mortification. I’m reliving every moment of my professional and professional life and wondering if I’m thought of as the stinky girl.
I realize that I need to take steps like finding a stronger deodorant-antiperspirant (I thought my old one worked fine), dry clean my suits more frequently (I used to do it once every few months), etc. But is there anything I can do to address the negative impact this must have had on my image – professional and otherwise?
To give a little more background info: I’m nearly 32 years old and have been working in my current job for a little over a year. I just received a very decent raise at my review. I’m also happily married to a man who has never mentioned that I have any body odor issues. At the same time, I don’t doubt my mother’s word…we’re close and she’s said she’s hesitated telling me for quite some time. (I wish she’d told me sooner!)
I have vowed I will never be smelly again. Do you or your readers have any other advice for damage control?
Wowza — we’re sorry to hear this. We’ve already talked about antiperspirant and deodorants here (with tons of great recommendations from readers in the comments). In terms of other tips — we would guess that drycleaning once every few months is fine, so long as you’re wearing decent layers beneath the suit. For example, if perspiration is a problem, don’t wear sleeveless shells — wear t-shirts or other pieces with sleeves. We hate to say it, but you may also want to reconsider your underwear and your drycleaning situation — skimpier underwear might necessitate more frequent cleanings. (We had a lot of good comments on specific brands of boy shorts on this post.)
In terms of other things that might be causing odor — if you can, give your shoes a “day off” in order to air out — there are also odor-eating things that can be placed in shoes. If you wear sweaters or other pieces multiple times before washing, keep those clothes in a different spot than “clean clothes.” (For example, I try to wear sweaters at least twice in order to prolong the life of the sweater; I have a separate place where I keep those sweaters after I’ve worn them.) You may want to consider putting a dryer sheet or two, or cedar balls, in that spot.
{related: here’s what to try when the drycleaner can’t remove the smell}
Finally: you may want to see a doctor — we’ve heard of instances where a body odor issue could be medically related.
{related: office-appropriate perfumes: do they exist?}
Now, in terms of damage control — for our $.02, do not say anything to folks. First, it sounds like it hasn’t been a hindrance in your advancement (you got a new job in the midst of a recession, you just got a raise). Second, what would you say?* Just make the problem disappear and things should be good. Readers, what say you? Have you ever belatedly realized you have body odor? How did you deal with the career fallout (if any) after you got it sorted out?
Pictured: 196/365 Need new shoes, originally uploaded to Flickr by stuartpilbrow. 2019 image updates (woman smelling flower) via stencil.
* This author’s personal backstory here is that I did a great job of screwing up my eyes a while back. Allergies, dry office air, and overuse of contacts (paired with typical office blunders like staring at a monitor without blinking enough, working for really long hours, and so forth) — I had basically been exfoliating my corneas. After I finally got on a good treatment course there was a serious concern about what, if anything, I should say to superiors I worked with. After all, my eyes had been bloodshot for months — what if they thought I was on drugs, or that I was in my office crying all day? My father and other friends pleaded with me to not say anything, and, ultimately, I didn’t. Looking back, I’m convinced that was the right call for my situation.