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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Double Face Wool Blend Jacket

Wool Work Jacket: Akris Double Face Wool Blend JacketOur daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Happy 2016, everyone — we hope you've had a great year thus far. For our first workwear pick of the year, I present this ah-ma-zing navy blazer from Akris. I loooove the layered lapel on one side only, and the whole blazer has this sharp, tailored look to it. As styled, it's a great example of how to wear navy with black. It's available in sizes 8-14 at Nordstrom for (gulp) $3,990. Akris Double Face Wool Blend Jacket Here's a lower-priced blazer (that includes plus sizes). Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-3)

Sales of note for 12.3.24 (lots of Cyber Monday deals extended, usually until 12/3 at midnight)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

197 Comments

  1. Immediate TJ – I am new to serious, committed relationships, and am younger, so I have grown up accustomed to people posting and sharing on social media. I share a good bit of vacation pictures, pictures with friends, funny pictures, etc. I am wondering what is reasonable now that I am in a serious relationship as for posting habits. Do couples have agreements on what to post and what not to post (outside of the obvious)? Do you take down prior pictures of yourself with male friends? Does it completely depend on the comfort level of those in the relationship versus what others may think?

    This may seem like a stupid question, but clearly I am naive about all of this and am looking for guidance. I’ve only ever been single and haven’t really considered how my posting habits would affect a SO (for better or for worse).

    1. I think it’s a couple-specific thing, so talk to your SO about his/her comfort level. We found it reasonable to take down pictures of previous SOs, but I’d have a huge issue with a guy who didn’t like pics with me and male friends. I think in general you should let your preferences drive your posting habits instead of what others may thing (barring stuff that may harm your employment prospects).

    2. My family and friends are on another continent so I tend to post photos, anecdotes, and links fairly frequently as a way of feeling a bit more connected – with the caveat that I wouldn’t post anything that I’d be uncomfortable with my boss seeing. Friends have partners who are anti-social media or have job-related privacy concerns and they work together to share appropriately.

    3. My most important rule of thumb is to not make fun of my SO on social media. Like, very occasionally I will because he’s a really funny guy, but mostly I should keep our ribbing between ourselves.

      Deleting all photos of you with male friends seems really extreme unless you’re from a very different culture than me.

      1. Absolutely agree! I will post a silly picture (my husband was under the bed looking for something and I may have instagrammed the picture of his feet looking like the wicked witch of the west) but nothing mean-spirited and I’m much more likely to post something silly that I’ve done.

        I always think people who use social media to vent about their partner make themselves look foolish.

    4. I want to start by saying this is not a stupid question at all! A big part of my personal Learning to Relationship trajectory came from reading thoughtful discussions of questions like this, since my parents have been split up since before I was born and neither has been in a relationship that I would want to emulate since then. I never had exactly this question, but I give the Internet a lot of credit for the fact that I’m in a stable, long-term relationship now. So it is completely fine to not know and need help on figuring things out :)

      Definitely talk to your SO about what they’re comfortable with you posting, since that’s something that reasonable people can differ on. I wouldn’t worry too much about what other people think, since someone’s going to judge you no matter what you do. I would give someone who wanted me to take down pictures with male friends a major side-eye; but I know people have different ideas on whether to take down pictures of previous SOs. I never have, and have never asked a SO to do so, but honestly…sometimes it makes me feel not-great to know that my boyfriend’s engagement pictures with his ex-fiancee are still on Facebook, and that like 50% of his previous profile pictures have her in them. That’s not something that I would have thought would bother me, and I’ve never asked him to take them down because that’s part of his life story, but, eh. I can see getting to a point in our relationship where I ask him to.

    5. I absolutely do not take down photos of myself with male friends, or with former romantic partners, at a new partner’s request or to not hurt their feelings. I sometimes delete pics of old boyfriends but that’s only when I no longer want to see them.

      For pics with a new person I just talk about it “hey ok if I FB this” is pretty quick and easy.

      1. +1 –

        I will also say that while my BF posts stuff on facebook/instagram, he’s pretty careful about not getting too personal, as am I. So funny pictures are ok, things that are too sappy are not. So we’ll both post pictures of each other, but won’t label or hashtag them as love or something cheesy like that.

        I think once you’ve been dating long enough to get a sense of each other, you’ll probably know what’s ok and what isn’t.

    6. Like others have said, it depends on you as a couple. Be sure to talk it over with him.

      My guy and I are mid-thirties and both recently divorced. Even though we’re talking about a future together, we still aren’t FB friends with each other and don’t mention or post pics of the other on social media. I guess we’re old enough that being “Facebook official” feels like a really, really big deal haha. My younger girlfriends will post whoever they’re dating for a bit, but since our lives are more settled, it feels like a very serious announcement to mention someone online.

      We did remove pics of our exes from FB, but that was because of our divorces. And yeah, FB wasn’t around the last time I was single haha, so there aren’t any old boyfriends on there.

    7. I think you’ve gotten a lot of good advice here, and the other thing I would suggest making sure you are on the same page about is tagging each other and when/how often you post. For instance, I’m a little more paranoid than my husband, so when we are on vacation and he posts a bunch of photos with “having a wonderful time in [vacation city]” I got irritated with him, because I’m paranoid about advertising “hey, we’re not home and our house is empty for the next week, and FYI anyone that knows us knows that some of our doors on our hundred year old house aren’t all that sturdy! Let yourself in and have at our stuff!” Along the same lines, I have one friend that tags herself practically everywhere she goes and everyone who is with her (at restaurant X! at the zoo! at the hairdresser! etc), which drives another one of my friends nuts

      It’s a running joke between me and one of my friends that the definition of oversharing/overposting on social media is basically “someone who posts approximately 5% more than you personally do” – it’s all in the eye of the beholder.

      1. I like your oversharing definition!

        My husband has basically stopped using facebook, and I think I posted fewer than 10 times in all of 2015, so we’re on the exact same page. Obviously this ship has sailed, but if I were dating a guy who I thought overshared about where we went together, or one of those types who write love notes on my facebook page or tag me in posts about how great I am because I made breakfast/got him a small gift/other mundane thing, I would find it incredibly off-putting. It’s definitely relationship-specific. Take a look at how much your significant other uses social media and what he shares; that will probably be a good starting point.

      1. This is a surprisingly cross-age question. My mother asked me the same thing when she got into a significant relationship and she’s in her late 50’s-

      2. No, because the point of a multi-generational community is for more experienced folks to advise the young, and for the young to keep the more experienced folks current.

    9. It may be reasonable to take down pictures of exes, but not pictures of you with male friends. Other than that, I’d keep my posting habits the same. It’s a double-edged sword when it comes to posting activities with male friends, on the one hand seeing them might make your new guy jealous especially if there’s one guy you’re always doing stuff with, or if you’re also constantly unavailable to do things with the new guy (balancing friends with your love life can be tough, you gotta make time for both!), but if you’re suddenly keeping everything on the DL he might be suspicious of that. Communication is key!

      I’d worry more about how much I’m posting about the relationship. The occasional picture of the two of you together, status about how much fun you’re having, or check-ins at some restaurants are fine, but if you’re constantly posting photos, statuses, check-ins, and gushy comments on his pictures, it’s gonna look like you’re either flaunting the relationship or trying to compensate for something. You can always ask them if it’s okay to post something, otherwise do what feels right for you and invite him to let you know if you get too personal on social media.

  2. Hi DC’rettes. Coming off of Christmas, I have two jewelry related questions. My family believes in the handing down jewelry, which is awesome, but…

    1) I need to get two rings appraised for insurance reasons. I have no idea their value.
    2) I need to get a ring resized because it is too small for my ring fingers, and too large for my pinkys.

    Any recommendations? Any ideas about what appraisal and resizing should cost?

    1. I got 2 rings resized recently, and I want to say the total cost was $100 or so.

    2. I recently got a ring resized at Pampillonia for about $30 in Friendship Heights, but the complimentary cleaning was very surface-level and didn’t clean around the stone.

    3. I like Bensons downtown. I recently got two rings resized and appraised for about $300 total, I believe. Sounds like we’re in a similar situation :).

    4. I just went to my local, good reputation, family-owned jewelry store and they did my appraisals for a modest fee. Most will say on the website if they do appraisals.

      It is good to do this once, for insurance purposes. My renter’s insurance has a cap on how much it will pay out for stolen jewels/furs, and if you want a higher cap you pay a higher premium.

  3. I’m thinking of a trip to Louisiana in March- flying in and out of NOLA, total trip time of about 7-10 days. Is it worthwhile to venture to Baton Rouge or Lafayette? Other places off the beaten path? What kinds of things would you put on your itinerary for NOLA and otherwise?

    1. I would not venture to either BR or Lafayette.. If you want to get out of NOLA, I would recommend hiking in Jean Lafitte Park. They are really nice boardwalk trails through the bayous, the caveat being stay away if you have a healthy fear of alligators or snakes, as you will most likely encounter both, close to you, in March. But, a great way to really see wildlife. More out-of-NOLA, off-the-beaten-path places I would recommend: Ponchatoula is a little antiques town that holds a huge strawberry festival that time of year – might be worth it to see when it is. Near Ponchatoula, I love this charming little German place called Taste of Bavaria that has been there forever. If you are a beer fan, there is a burgeoning “brewery trail” in South Louisiana. The Abita Brewery “tour” in Abita Springs (across the lake from NOLA) is a lot of fun, but be warned that it is essentially an hour-long open bar. I haven’t done any of the others, but I know Tin Roof and Covington have good beer.

      In NOLA, the WWII museum is fantastic and the cafe there has a nice happy hour as well. For food, I love Luke in the Central Business District as a cajun/french gastropub. Go shopping on Magazine Street, go to Frenchman Street – my favorite is The Spotted Cat – for jazz. Have fun!

    2. Not to steal NOLA’s screen name and cred – but another NOLA lurker here. I’ll leave it to others to comment on whether you should leave town, but here are some things to do in town that are a bit off the French Quarter tourist map:

      – City Park. If the weather is nice, allot an entire afternoon. It’s a real post-K success with TONS to do, from just wandering the grounds, outdoor sculpture garden, NOMA, paddleboats on the pond, botanical gardens, a 24 hour Morning Call (beignet place). Nearby is Bayou St. John which is also a fantastic place for a good walk.

      – Agree with the suggestion about Jean Lafitte park. There are other good places to go to get out of the city, but Lafitte is great.

      – Go to the new Crescent Park along the River. There is an entrance on Piety in the Bywater and you can walk a long way up and down the river.

      – I’ve never done it but my husband has taken tourists/friends on airboat tours of swamps and swears they are awesome. Reply here if you want a recommendation for a company, I’ll try to find one.

      – Music: Google WWOZ Live Wire. That’s the best calendar for local music and has a ton of information on artists and venues. You can just go to Frenchmen any night and wander until you see a place you want to duck into. I like DBA because there’s no entrance fee. Another option if you want to have a place to sit and eat while you hear music is to make a reservation at Three Muses when they have music (check calendar online but it’s most nights I think). Reservation is usually a must.

      – Restaurants: What’s left to be said?? It’s hard to make recs without knowing what you like because there’s so much great food here. Right now we are into Shaya on Magazine.

      Sorry for the info overload! We love visitors in New Orleans!

      2. Ha ha, I have no cred about touristy stuff in the city. I’m just really bad about that. Sorry I’m just seeing this. I’ve been working on a system migration since 5:30 this morning.

        The hot new restaurant is Boucherie, which is FANTASTIC and not incredibly high priced, but really hard to get a reservation. It’s up in my neighborhood, at Carrollton and Jeannette.

        I like to take people to Magazine St. – around Jackson Ave to where it turns one-way is fun and between Washington Ave. and Napoleon. Little shops and antiques, etc. Plus, Sucre and Ignatius (really good local food, not too expensive).

        I also like to walk up and down Chartres and Royal Sts. Go in the shops and galleries. Walk along the river.

        Uptown is a total mess of construction right now. I apologize in advance if you want to come up to the park or the zoo.

        Don’t bother with BR or Lafayette. The plantations are in between New Orleans and BR.

    3. I totally thought NOLA stood for North Los Angeles.

      You learn something new every day!

    4. I loved NOLA! I second the recommendations for the park, WWII museum and swamp tours. Another suggestion is to possibly rent a car and go on a plantation tour a little outside of NOLA (I think it was a 30 min drive). We did the swamp tour + plantation tour in one day because both were outside the city and found it was really convenient that way timing-wise and a lot of fun! Enjoy!

    1. I like the Washington Center for Dentistry and I know they do invisalign, but they are not cheap.

    3. I like the Virginia Center for Dentistry (they do both general and cosmetic) and have gotten an invisalign quote there but same as Wildkitten, they won’t be cheap.

      1. Disenchanted and Wildkitten — did you both end up doing Invisalign? What did you think of it?

        1. Nope, haven’t been able to justify the cost and hoping to eventually have a job with some ortho benefit. I have to have an implant done this year so that is my dental spending. They told me I was a typical case of relapse – adult who stopped wearing a retainer.

          I did have a couple clear retainers as part of my initial orthodontic work, but I was about 13 years old so I don’t remember.

          One of my coworkers just finished his Invisalign treatment and is very happy with it, though.

        2. My mom recently completed her course of Invisalign – her teeth do look fabulous. She claims if she had to do it again, she’d instead go with “real” braces (I think traditional braces are slightly faster and perhaps fewer appointments) — BUT, unlike me, she never had “real” braces as a kid/an actual basis for this comparison, so I do not believe her!

          1. My sister in law says the same as your mother – Invisalign was more of a pain than braces.

        3. I had Invisalign my first year of Biglaw. It worked really well, but be warned: upkeep is kind of a pain. Want a cup of coffee? Take out your aligners and brush your teeth. You switch aligners every couple of weeks to move your teeth slowly. The first day or so of the new aligner takes some getting used to, so I used to have to pop them out for important calls or meetings. If your teeth require any torque at all, they have to glue little attachments to them. I had a few on my front teeth, which were hard to see but not invisible. And, unlike the aligners, I couldn’t take them off based on what I was doing.

          All of that said, metal braces would’ve been more disruptive and (at least at my orthodontist) were roughly the same cost. I’m happy with my results and I think it was ultimately worth the money.

    4. I would do a consult for both traditional and invisalign. My sister (who isn’t very strong on the research side of things) went with invisalign to fix her teeth and ended up with a mild case of TMJ. She regrets this and wishes she went with traditional braces.

  6. Any tips to get better at mental math? This is on my list of things to improve this year.

    1. It’s been a while but I recall the book, ‘the secrets of mental math’ being fairly helpful. It’s all pretty cheap.

    2. This sounds odd, but you might take a look at the way elementary school math is taught these days — at first it seems bizarre, but one of the goals is to help kids learn math the way adults actually use it in everyday life (i.e., quick mental calculations). So rather than, for example, doing 375 + 415 the “old fashioned” way (5 + 5 is 10, carry the 1, and so on) it focuses on the larger numbers first (ok, you’ll be at more than 700, actually close to 800 once you do a quick scan of the 10’s positions). If you really need an exact answer you can get there, but if you don’t, it’s a lot faster!

      1. +1. I had a great math teacher in elementary school who was big on teaching mental math skills. Lots of estimation work and then drill down on the simpler math. 96×4 is basically 400 (100×4), then just adjust by 16 (100-96= 4, 4×4=16).

  7. I’m about to temporarily leave my office for a few months and would like to make sure the transition with my cases is as smooth as possible. Anyone have advice and/or examples of transition memos I could use? Thanks!!

  8. I’m about to temporarily leave my office for a few months and would like to make sure the transition with my cases is as smooth as possible. Anyone have advice and/or examples of transition memos I could use? Thanks!!

    1. I was thinking about buying an OMG. Since you’re seeking a different bag, I assume you weren’t all that happy with your OMG? Or are you just wanting to move on?

  9. Did anyone else scope out the Lilly sale this morning? I was disappointed this time around – I normally try to pick up a classic sweater or two in navy/cream/white/pink as Lilly’s fabrics are still nice, even the cotton, but almost all the offerings were super-patterned. I was also surprised at how many items were shown but already sold out only 1.5 hours into the sale! Why not just remove them from the s!te rather than clutter up the remaining items?

    1. Whoa, that was today? I’m normally very on top of the Lilly sales, but this one slipped past me. That’s strange about the lack of solid colored items. It might be that they offered less of them for the fall season, and that’s why they aren’t as prevalent. I agree though, they do make nice cotton tops and cardigans.

    2. I imagine showing the already sold out items makes you more aware of the limited quantities of the others and therefore more likely to buy

      1. Maybe you’re right — I do think Lilly does a good enough job of hyping up the limited quantities that there’s no need for that tactic, though. Anyway, there was nothing (sold-out or otherwise) calling my name this time, so no effect on this prospective purchaser.

  10. In keeping with our annual tradition, how much did you spend on clothing/beauty in 2015?

    Clothing (includes accessories like bags, shoes, jewelry, etc.):
    Beauty (includes spa and salon visits, makeup/skincare, gym/personal training):
    Salary:
    Industry:
    Best purchase:
    Purchase you most regret:

    1. Clothing/accessories: $1463
      Beauty: $1230 (includes $500 personal training)
      Salary: $149
      Industry: law, government
      Best purchase: Black Editor pants ($70) and hot pink skinny ankle pants ($80). I love both and wear them constantly. Also a pair of “bridge” skinny jeans from Ann Taylor for $19.99.
      Regret: Bellefit corset ($100) — I didn’t wear it often enough to make a difference and it was just too tight/uncomfortable.

      I’m really happy with my expenditures for the year. I spent $1K less than last year, in part because I already have a lot of nice clothes and just don’t need as much.

      1. clothing/accessories: 2K
        beauty: I’m guessing $2K
        industry: law, fed
        salary: $130K
        best purchase: nursing top from milk nursingwear t for $9. wore constantly, super flattering.
        regret: $60 nursing top from Milkstars, could never figure out how to nurse in it discreetly and never wore it

        I like this thread. Curious to read all of the comments.

    2. UGH I qualified for VIB Rouge on the last day of the year… I’ve been a VIB for the past couple years, but this is really quite embarrassing. Does anyone actually use any of the perks? Can you really just walk in and get your makeup done any time?

          1. VIB is only $350, actually. Thank god. I feel like I remember Rogue being $750 when it first started.

    3. Ooh, I’ll play:

      Clothing: $4000-5000
      Beauty: $1500-2000 – mostly highlights and manicures
      Salary: Went from senior associate in Biglaw to in-house – so mid 200’s to high 100’s
      Industry: Law
      Best purchase: Pricey: Black pearl stud earrings. Bargain: Clearance-rack black a-line skirt from Brooks Bros. Cost per wear is probably a dollar at most after 1 year of ownership.
      Purchase you most regret: Well, not regret, but I *really* need to stop wasting money on new lipsticks, because I never wear them! I end up just reapplying from the same tinted Chapstick at my desk all day.

    4. Clothing: $1200
      Beauty: $900

      I also spent $700 on my gym membership but I consider that health not beauty.

      Salary:$75,000

    5. Clothing/Accessories: $1,292
      Beauty: $1,340
      Salary: $96K
      Industry: IT in Higher Ed
      Best purchase: Gray Boden Duffle Coat ($50), Black LifeStride Wedge Heels ($39), Bootcut Dark Denim Jeans (Nordstrom $37). I wear the coat and the heels everyday. And the jeans are such a perfect fit that I almost don’t want to lose weight…
      Purchase you most regret: Magenta Boden dress ($40), sample sale. Doesn’t fall right at the waist and can’t be returned…

      I spent $300 more this year, but all of it was on books…

      1. Hubs and I go over our monthly spending every month or two – so I could pull the exact amounts if I wanted to, but for a beauty example, I know that hair is about $150 every other month, I get two or three $20 manicures per month, and the rest is occasional pedicures and cosmetics purchases.

      2. I’m very old school. I just have an excel spreadsheet and track purchases manually. Extra Petite has a good model to use. I use Mint as well but Mint doesn’t always categorize things correctly and sometimes I forget to re-categorize.

        The spreadsheet is like this:

        Month of January

        Boden top – $40
        J Crew dress – $150

        I will sometimes also include items that I have returned (and then put $0) and in a separate comments section I will write down why I didn’t like it. I find that helpful so that I keep track of stuff I have bought so I don’t make the mistake of buying it again.

        At the end of the year, I just use a sum function to add everything up. I have a separate spreadsheet for beauty expenditures.

    7. It’s the time of year for reviewing finances for me also! You ladies are making me feel bad about my shopping relative to income:

      Clothing/accessories: $2,545
      Beauty: $1,256
      CrossFit: $2,400
      Salary: $80K
      Industry: Nonprofit

      Best purchase: Frye Melissa boots for 50% off.
      Regret: J Crew flats that didn’t wear well at all.

      This spending is high for what I make, but I have a minimal transportation budget (I don’t have a car and walk to work), and I have a fantastic deal on my apartment. I have no debt, I max out my 403(b), and clothing and travel are my splurge areas. I just love bargain hunting, and Nordstrom Rack is my greatest weakness.

      I use Mint and review it every month or two to be sure my expenses are categorized correctly.

    8. Clothing (includes accessories like bags, shoes, jewelry, etc.): $850, consisting of a full maternity wardrobe and a few things to wear on maternity leave

      Beauty (includes spa and salon visits, makeup/skincare, gym/personal training): $600 on hair (cut and highlights a few times a year), $250 on spa visits (including the occasional mani or pedi), $360 on makeup and skincare

      I didn’t count services/items I received as gifts- e.g. Massage gift cert, makeup as a gift from my sister, etc.

      Salary: $65k individual/ $150ish household

      Industry: government

      Best purchase: $15 target Liz Lange maternity t-shirt dress that I wore constantly

      Purchase you most regret: I got a maternity coat on super sale in July, planning on needing it in the winter while I was pregnant, but then baby came early and I ended up fitting into my regular clothes within a month. I gave it to a friend who is expecting and she’s thrilled, but I do regret that purchase.

    9. Clothing:$1000

      Beauty (includes spa and salon visits, makeup/skincare, gym/personal training): $800, mostly for haircut/color every three months

      Salary: low 100s

      Industry: education

      Best purchase: A gorgeous Cinzia Rocca cashmere coat, barely worn, for $50 on Etsy

      Purchase you most regret: Some underwear (Natori Bliss Fit bikini) that was more expensive than my usual and is just not all that

      I made a real effort to spend less on clothing in 2015 — cut my previous year’s expense by about a third — but am still astonished to see how easy it was to spend $1000. This year I will make more of an effort at a monthly clothing budget. I use Quicken to keep track of finances.

    10. Clothing (includes accessories like bags, shoes, jewelry, etc.): $7000
      Beauty (includes spa and salon visits, makeup/skincare, gym/personal training): $1200 on haircuts (I have a short style that needs to be cut every 4 weeks); $700 makeup/skincare; about $1500 on gym membership/yoga classes; no spa/salon spending (I’m very good at doing my own nails)
      Salary: $230k
      Industry: in-house attorney in asset management industry
      Best purchase: black ponte seamed Hugo Boss top that I love love love
      Purchase you most regret: a pair of J. Crew heeled sandals that I bought while in denial about the fact that there is no scenario in which I want to wear uncomfortable spike-heeled sandals

      Most of my clothing spending this year was work-related. I started a new job and jumped from “business casual” to a “business” dress code, plus my new role is much more visible. I ended up completely overhauling my wardrobe in a way that I’m really pleased with — bought some suits, several work dresses, several pairs of shoes, and a new work bag. Looking to bring the spending back down to around $2000 this year since I should need little to zero work clothes after this year’s bonanza.

    11. Clothing: $3500
      Beauty (includes spa and salon visits, makeup/skincare, gym/personal training): $700
      Salary: 76000
      Industry: ngo
      Best purchase: wool wrap coat from uniqlo for $20, ponte pants from jcrew, a few things from the Talbots Outlet
      Purchase you most regret: a few dresses from Boden. The ponte ones seem fine but some others do not wash well at all.

  11. I think I promised a review of my 13″ Dagne Dover to a couple people here! It came in the day after Christmas and I’ve been carrying it since then, including on one airplane trip. I have the 13″ in Midnight Blue, which is a lovely color and to me very clearly blue – I would carry it wearing black in a heartbeat. In fact, I am doing so today. I paid $160 for it combining end-of-year sales and a coupon.

    Pros: The organization is great – there is a pouch for nearly everything, including eyeglasses, which I thought was neat. Cell phone, water bottle, etc, it’s all covered. The quality is top-notch. The straps are just long enough to carry over my shoulder. I have a tendency to carry my bag over my hip, and I can do it with this one.

    Cons: The “fold down” handles, don’t really work in practice. They pop back up or kind of droop. It’s not like the click up and down or stay down when you put them down.
    I don’t feel like the 13″ is big enough. When I have my water bottle in the holder and my laptop + iPad/current book (usually softcover nonfiction, so pretty thin), I don’t feel like there is much room left for anything else. I literally just fit my make-up bag, which is a small pouch, and a couple other small things like sunglasses. Granted, almost everything has its own pouch – pens, cell phones, a strap for your keys, etc. so this isn’t a huge issue. I would sometimes through my workout cl0thes in my work bag and that is definitely out. So would be a pair of flats, unless you remove your water bottle (the holder snaps out).

    It is smaller than my Kate Spade saffiano leather tote, which I wasn’t expecting. I would buy it again, but I would buy a 15″. I don’t think I can exchange it now that I’ve been using it for a week, but I wish I could.

    1. Thanks for the review! I’m waiting for my mini to come in the mail and I’m worried it’s too big :)

    2. Thanks for the review! I was considering the 15″, and you solidified my decision:)

    3. Thanks for the review! The 13″ is definitely on my shopping list for 2016 :)
      Have to wait until my next visit to the US though, as they don’t ship to Canada. Boo!

  12. Can I just whine for a second…

    I was so pumped to start the new year this morning. Packed lunches and breakfasts for the week, laid out clothes, dragged myself out of bed at 5am to make it to a yoga class before work. Then….fell down the stairs leaving the house and sprained my ankle pretty badly. Now instead of having the awesome week I planned, I am home from work and on the couch. Dear universe: F you.

    1. Oh you poor thing! Whine (& wine as your preferences may be), ice, and elevate. I am not into yoga, but are there any circuits/moves you can do while laying your back without bearing weight on your ankle? That way you keep your commitment to do “something”–though not as satisfying as not spraining your ankle.

      1. Oh no, that’s terrible! I felt very virtuous on my NYD hike and managed to fall and land on my wrist. Luckily it’s healed quickly but I thought all my yoga plans for the month were shot. Could you do a mediitation app or Amazon prime a bolster so you can do some nice reclining postures?

    3. So sorry. I had great workout plans and then broke my toe. I’m learning that inability to wear shoes eliminates most types of exercise. Even yoga is out.

    4. Remember – there’s nothing magical about 1/1. You can start your awesome new year on 2/1.

      Are there any other resolutions you had that you can do while immobile – read a book, learn a foreign language? Pick out healthy recipes online to make when you feel better?

  13. My typical home cleaning habits consist of slowly letting my house get messier and messier, then doing a marathon daylong deep cleaning about once or twice a month. Then letting it get messy and gross again, until it becomes unbearable.

    I finished a marathon cleaning over the weekend, and my apartment is sparkly and beautiful. Tips for maintaining this?

    Thanks to recs here, have checked out UFYH, which is awesome. But am curious as to how you ladies organize cleaning around your busy schedule (beyond housekeepers). It makes me so much happier to have a pleasant space!

    1. Timers are helpful for me. You’d be amazed at how much cleaning you can get done in 10 minutes. Either set an actual timer or do something more fun like put on music you like and clean for 3 songs worth of time.

    2. I am all over this thread today – can you tell people aren’t *really* ramped up back to work at my office??

      My main tip is to clean as you go – so rather looking at the kitchen and thinking “oh that’s not so bad, it’s just some tupperwares that need to be put away and the stove needs wiping, that can wait” – just take the minute right then and do it. By doing that, (1) you’re preventing mess from begetting more mess (i.e., if you keep the kitchen organized/clean day to day, any new messes will be obvious rather than blending in with the other clutter), and (2) the actual cleaning is way easier – wiping up some little splatters of pasta sauce is NBD with a paper towel on Day 1, but after another week of cooking, that stuff is caked on.

    3. Housecleaner. Weekly. I don’t have time to worry about keeping things neat. Cost of my sanity.

    4. *Clean as you go while cooking– I just leave out a bottle of Lysol spray and there are always paper towels/sponges near the sink for this purpose.
      *Never leave dirty dishes unless they are all rinsed and just waiting to go into the dish washer.
      *Put away clean dishes in the morning while you make breakfast.
      *Have Lysol wipes under your bathroom counter so you can give the counters a good wipe down while you’re brushing your teeth.
      *When you are about to leave a room (or in my case, go upstairs or downstairs), take a look around to see if any items need to be put away or taken to another room to be stored.
      *Try to put away clothes as soon as you take them off (either hang up/fold or put into hamper). If you simply must pile up clothes when you take them off (I do this sometimes) make sure they are out of sight and deal with them at least once a week.

    5. I am going to dedicate the 10 min a day or a podcast a week (one that I really like) and only listen to it when I am cleaning. I think that may help a lot.

    6. I try to do 5 minutes in the evening of just whatever is obviously in need of attention. Sometimes this means just doing one task (taking garbage and recycling down to basement, clearing off my dining room table of whatever was thrown there, wiping down bathroom mirror and counters, etc.) and that’s all I do. Sometimes I do stuff that takes 20 minutes to do it right, like washing all of the dishes, drying, put away, wipe down counters. Sometimes I am a gross lazy slug who does zero things and leaves dirty dishes on the coffee table overnight. But I have a small enough apartment that an average of 5 minutes per evening keeps everything good enough that I would always be company-ready in less than 10 minutes, assuming I spend maybe an hour/half-hour on weekends for big stuff.
      For me, it really was all about just starting a cleaning task. Once I let go of the need to “finish” cleaning, and focused on a low bar, that became much easier to manage and maintain. (I normally do just finish the task once I start it, but giving myself permission to not finish if I didn’t feel like it was a mental/emotional assist. YMMV.)

      1. I do this too and it has made my life so much easier. Especially the part about giving myself “permission” to stop after 5 min (sometimes I do but often times I realize it’s actually kinda relaxing anyway and I keep going).

    7. Is it messy or dirty? Or both?

      Messiness tells me that I don’t have places to put things, or at least not places they’ll stay. The usual offenders for messiness are kid toys (because they don’t put them back after playing) or paperwork that I haven’t dealt with yet, or that I need to file. For the latter, I have a stand-up desk file that lives on the kitchen island, and I deal with the paperwork that accumulates once a week. I do the same thing once a week with my half-worn clothes – they sit on hangers in the closet (or for sweaters, a pile draped over a chair) to ‘air’ until the once a week when I either put them back or put them in the dry cleaning pile.

      For actual dirt, we have cleaners who come once every 2 weeks and I try (but sometimes fail) to clean the kitchen counters while and after I cook.

    8. I don’t do this, but I found it interesting… A recent podcast that I listened to suggested essentially never leaving a room empty handed. If you’re in the living room and there’s an empty cup for example and you’re headed to the bathroom which is closer to the kitchen, but not past the kitchen, take the cup from the living room to somewhere closer to the kitchen on your way to the bathroom. The idea being you’re always moving things closer to their ‘home’, in the cup’s case, the kitchen.

      Last year, I tried to declutter (different than cleaning, I know) by throwing out one thing a day. I think it helped and I almost always moved more than one item per day to the trash, recycle bin, or donation pile.

      Even though I absolutely loathe the idea of using the Lysol wipe things – they seem wasteful in terms of money and in terms of waste – but, I put one container of the wipes in each main room – my kids room, both bathrooms, the kitchen… And I actually do wipe things down much more frequently by having those containers there. It helps me feel mostly like those high traffic, “seem to get gross fast” areas are more clean. I also will grab one every now and then if the tile floor looks funky, etc.

    9. I take 5-10 minutes to pick up every night before bed. Do the dishes, fold the blanket on the couch, wipe down the counters, etc. It only takes a couple minutes, but the effect in the morning of walking into a clean space is so wonderful, not to mention coming home at night to a clean place. The discipline is necessary, though! I so often want to forget about it, but I always feel great when I do it.

    10. I have a habit of doing this and have slowly broken it.

      I do some small things each day that are “must-wins”; I make the bed as soon as I get up. That really sets the tone for my day, and since I love a fresh bed and it makes my bedroom look so much more orderly, I’m less likely to just throw clothes on the floor-drobe.

      At night after my shower and before I get into bed, I spray some scrubbing bubbles in the toilet, shower, and sink and let it sit overnight. In the morning after I get ready, I use a Clorox wipe to wipe down the surfaces. It takes about 10 minutes a day to do the above and keeps me from falling into slob-mode.

      I also try to designate one bigger task each day, like Monday=laundry, Tuesday=vacuum Wednesday=mopping Thursday=dusting…then I usually do nothing Friday-Sun. This doesn’t make everything PERFECTLY PINTEREST CLEAN, but it looks way better without the clutter and explosion of junk.

    11. I clean the kitchen while cooking and always clear the counters and the sink before going to bed. With other parts of the house, I never waste a trip, meaning that every time I go upstairs/downstairs, I return things to their right places.

    12. Having a housekeeper (mine comes monthly) is the biggest trick. I also like the do-dishes-while-listening-to-podcasts trick. Another thing I do is go into a room and put everything that doesn’t belong there into a basket, and then put the basket away. If I put things away one at a time I get distracted.

    13. I tidy as I go for everything except the kitchen. That means bed made every morning, work clothes and shoes put away after I get home, all makeup back in bag in drawer after use, not leaving books/papers/water glasses everywhere, etc.

      For the kitchen, I’m in awe of people who do dishes in the morning. I just don’t have the time (or, honestly, the ability to care–I haaaaate doing the dishes). In the mornings, I rinse everything and put what I can in the dishwasher; the rest of the stuff sits in the sink until the evening. Then I hand-wash stuff while I’m making dinner. So I only do dishes once a day, for the preceding 24 hours. Counters, sink, and stove get wiped down after dishes are done. I rarely have to do a deep clean in the kitchen.

      For bigger tasks, I try to vacuum once a week and clean the bathroom before it gets too grody. I do keep Clorox wipes handy in the bathroom to wipe down the sink bowl and countertop when the mood strikes me. But a deeper bathroom clean is actually on my schedule for after work this week.

    14. Haven’t read the replies yet, but my biggest tip is: everything has a place, and everything goes in its place. Don’t put things down in the wrong place. If things have a place that’s inconvenient or annoying to reach, they need a new place that’s more accessible. For example, if you have mail that accumulates on your dining room table, get a wall shelf/bin for right next to your front door for it! Good luck!

    15. I just started using the app Tody, and it’s making a big difference for me. I put in stuff that should be standard (like Wipe Dining Room Table) in increments that are my absolute minimum (every 3 days), and it gets done. Dirt and mess both tend to creep up on me, so making them part of a flexible schedule I’m reminded of works. I tried to do the 1 room/day thing, but in an apartment full of adults with no pets, who actually needs to vacuum the living room every week? And then I start to feel like I’m falling behind if I miss a day, and never feel like I can catch up, which is discouraging so I quit.

      Tody lets me do what I feel like doing and get the reward of that thing cleaner (Wipe Down Counters) and the visual gamifying of cleaning as well, without making me feel like it’s an all or nothing.

    16. Choose your zones in order of priority for you and start with just one or two. For instance, tell yourself that your living room is going to be picked up before you go to be every night for two weeks. Then it will become a new habit and won’t seem as hard. The nightly picking up will teach you to put things away as you use them rather than waiting till the end of the day.

      Move on to other rooms once you have the living room down. For instance, make your bed every morning. This will force you to put your dirty clothes that are on the bed into the laundry basket.

      Baby steps. It can be done. I’m naturally a clutter-y person and now have a mostly-presentable house any time someone stops by. My remaining areas are the clutter on the “mail table” and the area around my desk.

  14. My skin and all is getting so dry this winter! I started getting small nosebleeds last week, which often happens to me when the air is so dry.

    Any recommendations for a humidifier in the office? I wouldn’t want to spend more than $20, but I’ve heard that they now sell small humidifiers that could fit my needs, and I’m wondering if anyone has had good experience with a certain type.

    2. In my experience, really cheap humidifiers do not actually create fine enough steam, and so your surfaces near them just end up wet, and the air is no moister. It really is worth it to spend a little more for a good one.

  15. Any thoughts on traveling with a two and a half month old for a 3 hr. flight/5-7 day trip to Florida? We go every year but questioning whether it would be worth it with such a small baby. FWIW, we’d be staying in a condo so lots of amenities to make day to day comfortable and allow us to stay in if needed, we would have a travel crib there already so only need to bring stroller/car seat & the usual luggage. I’d love to hear from those of you who’ve travelled with really small kids and whether you thought the experience was a good one, or any tips/things to avoid. TIA!

    2. I found travel much easier with a little baby than with a toddler, so I’d say go for it. Spring for the plane ticket for the baby. You will all be more comfortable and it is safer for baby. The hardest ages for travel, in my opinion, are the 1 to 3 year old range. They are active, mobile, and have minds of their own.

    3. 2.5 month old babies are super easy to travel with. Do it – once they start walking, it only gets harder until they’re like 4. Then it starts getting easy again.

    5. Yes, do it. Babies that age are great for sleeping in their stroller or carrier while you go to a nice dinner.

      Definitely condo over hotel with little ones, so you don’t have to leave for maid service right when the wee one wants to nap.

      My husband and I love to do road trips and stay in rental houses and condos. Nothing changed when we had kids. Only difference now that they’re teens is that they don’t usually want to share a bed, so the rentals have become pricier!

    6. Do it! It’s so easy to travel with them when they are that little. DO NOT pay for a seat for them. Waste of money. They will sleep in a carrier most of the time and they will want to be in your arms the rest of the time.

    7. Lone voice of dissent – babies this age are easy to travel with if they don’t have colic. Our guy had intense crying bouts every night, without fail, from about 5-8. There was nothing we could do other than walk him around for those three hours. We tried to take a vacation at 2.5 months and spent three nights cooped up in our hotel room walking in little circles. It was really stressful. In retrospect I wish we had saved the money and gone on vacation after 3 months (colic magically ended at right about the 3 month mark, which is typical).

      If you already have the baby and know that it isn’t colicky, then I say go for it. Or just accept the risk. I think colic is pretty rare, right?

  16. Anyone else feel like 401k savings is a slog? Any way to make it seem like less of a slog? Been out of school for 10 yrs post law school and have contributed for just over 7 of those yrs (one yr clerking with no retirement plan; and 18 months of unemployment). So I already feel behind, and add to that that I’ve always been in an industry where there is 0 match, so it’s all on me to get to 18k or not.

    Not sure why this annoys me so much. I’m a saver generally, but there’s something about saving for age 65+ when you’re 35 that’s unmotivating in addition to the fact that I got next to no return in 2015 given that the S&P was in negative territory.

    1. I don’t really think about it. I have it set to automatically deduct enough each paycheck that I reach the maximum every year and that’s it. I don’t really monitor it or think about it. What’s the alternative? Be 65 with zero savings? You’re not really a saver if you find this prospect de motivating.

      2. There is no way to make it feel less like a slog because it’s a slog. And Anonymous at 10:31, it’s possible to be a saver and still be unmotivated by kissing goodbye to a significant chunk of your paycheck for the next 40 years, every single month, when you always have immediate needs (rent/mortgage! emergency fund! food! car repairs!) staring you in the face. I’ve saved at least something every year since I graduated from college, and while it makes me happy to reach milestone dollar amounts in my retirement accounts, it’s not like it was thrilling to kick 90% of my bonus last year into my retirement account.

        Because of that, the only answer is to auto-deduct the amount you need to reach your goals, so you’re never tempted to do anything else with it. Sucks but it is what it is.

    2. Yay! Happy New Year to the HIVE! Kat, I love the Akris collection at Nordstrom, but it is to expensive for me, tho in a paralel universe, I would have everything in my closet that you have in your’s! If we were sister’s we could also share, tho I am sure your tuchus is alot smaller then mine!

      As for the OP, just continue to save, save save, even if the S&P is down this year. What alternative do you have– for 401k, you can’t spend on skirt’s and shoe’s and you will NOT even need those for retirement, b/c by then we will all be wearing moo moos like my mom does with Berkenstock’s! Not exactly fashioneable, but very comforteable. Dad alway’s skowles when he see’s mom like that, and he grumbels about all of the cute svelte blonde’s he “dated” while behind the Iron Curtan. Ed said that most of them are probably big as a house now with dirty teeth, if they have any teeth left. Dad agreed!

      Anyway, OP, my Dad runs my retirement program for me and he is abel to get some gain’s. Try diversifying he said, when I asked him and that is what he does. I wish I knew what he meant, but he had to get off the phone b/c he was goeing out to see a sick freind. Just diversify, OP, and you will be fine. YOu are about my age, I think and you have along way to go so keep saveing and you will be abel to retire and buy your moo moos then! YAY!!!!

    3. I’m in the “don’t think about it” as well, though I only pay up to the match because a) I’m not making all that much yet since I’m still early in my career and b) still have a good portion of my student loans to focus on as well. It’s an automatic deduction that I don’t see in my paycheck, so it just happens and I know it’ll be beneficial in the long run.

      1. That’s dumb though. You get that? You’re setting future you up poorly. Pay your studeng loans AND get as close to maxing out your 401k as you can. What’s your salary?

          1. If you mean bubbly and pleasant and superficial, nope. If you mean sincerely invested in strangers lives and genuinely wanting the best for them, absolutely.

          2. You know, there is a vast middle ground between being bubbly and pleasant and superficial and being actively unpleasant and unkind. And yes, calling someone dumb is pretty unkind. You can be straightforward and honest while also being kind, and you are smart enough to figure out how to do that.

        2. It’s not dumb, though. Get rid of debt now, when you know you have the funds to do so, instead of incurring additional interest down the road, while still contributing (though maybe not maxxing) to retirement. Sounds like some pretty responsible financial planning. You contribute up to the match so you don’t leave free money on the table, but there’s nothing magical about maxxing out your annual amount, except for taking advantage of the pre-tax deduction – and that’s not a priority for a lot of people when paying down debt principle is.

          Maybe it’s not perfectly optimized, but most financial decisions aren’t because you can only optimize with the benefit of hindsight.

        3. Fun fact! Lots of people can’t afford to max out their 401ks because $18k is more than one third of their salary, and student loans plus a cramped, shared apartment in the bad part of town already take up 2/3 of their income!

          This has been your Check Yo Privilege Reality Check for the day. Thank you for tuning in!

          1. +1.

            Also, I regularly work with elderly people who are trying to scrape by on social security and it is not pretty. Anything you can save will be helpful. Don’t feel like it’s pointless even if you are saving only a very small amount.

          3. Yes – thank you! No way could I afford to max out my 401k contribution AND, you know, pay my rent, which I’m pretty sure is a higher priority right now. Also, pretty sure I know my current financial situation better than an anonymous poster on the internet and what other assets/retirement plans/financial goals I have laid out.

          4. Awesome? Can we not weather mildly mean internet comments without hang wringing? If you know I’m cray, great!! Fantastic!

          5. Seriously. I’d love to max out my 401(k), pay off all of my debt and save enough for a house down payment. But until I’m named in some dead billionaire’s will, I have to pick my battles. Not everyone who reads this site is a 6-figure earner.

    4. I like the trick to have 1/2 of your salary at 30, 1x your salary at 35, etc etc etc, so that you can check in and make sure you are in good shape at various points along the way. But I hide both my student loans and my retirement in Mint because they are long term and automated and it’s not helpful to see my balances every day.

    5. I can commiserate. No match on my 401k and it lost money instead of making it. All while my student loans continue to accrue interest. The intelligent part of my brain understands there is a purpose, but it is very difficult to see the payoff here under these conditions.

    6. I feel the same way, but remind myself — it’s very fortunate to be in a position that I’m merely annoyed by putting in 18k in my 30s. Much better than squandering that opportunity now and then being worried/panicked in my 50s as I play catch up. I also tell myself that if I max out young, if I REALLY need to — I can cut back contributions later — as it may not be as easy to max out if financial obligations grow.

    7. Precisely because the S&P was down for the year would imply that this is the time to ramp up contributions, even by 1 or 2 percent. Buy into the market while it’s on sale!

      (For reference, I had a very similar freakout at the end of 2008 when my retirement took a 20 percent hit. My dad convinced me to up my contribution and the next few years were very good to Future Me.)

  17. Shopping help!

    I’m looking for a warm knit hat that has a band of fleece on the inside, like a headband. I found one I loved but it’s long with a Pom at the top. Cute on the shelf but looks terrible on me. All the other hats I could find don’t have the fleece!

    TIA!

    1. I got one for my husband at Target, part of the C9 line. I think they have a women’s version as well.

    3. Try looking at Turtle Fur hats. I bought mine at a local backpacker outfitter type-place, but I think that REI and Amazon have them too.

  18. X-posted on the moms site: Has anyone used/hired (not sure the right term) an au pair? We are seriously considering asking an au pair to join us for a year. We have the private bedroom and need childcare for 40 hours per week, and currently have a nanny. We are thinking we will need to lease a car, add the au pair to our insurance and obtain a cell phone for her. Any insight into hidden costs, companies, tips or lessons learned? Thank you!!

    1. No personal experience, but a friend of mine has hired an au pair for the past four years or so and finds it much more affordable and better for their needs than a nanny.

    2. No personal experience but i have several friends who have used au pairs, with differing degrees with success. Some hired au pairs who become like family members, others have fired au pairs or didn’t get along with them well, which made for a difficult year.

      From hearing their stories, I think it would be ideal to hire an au pair who has been an au pair before, so that you can thoroughly vet references. The au pairs that seem to have issues or those who have never au paired/don’t have a lot of childcare experience and are using the au pair program as a way to get to the US and have a good time.

      Also, I would strongly consider the degree to which you feel comfortable having a stranger live in your home. Some of my friends thought they were completely fine with this, but then the au pair arrived and it was a little awkward having your full time care live with you (and esp. if the au pair is not good). Make sure your home is set up so that she can have optimal privacy when she is not working (ie: separate entrance to her place, ideally).

      1. Just posted a LOONG reply and it got eaten. (Hopefully will pop back up at some point.) I’d say you absolutely do not need a separate entrance. Our au pair has a small bedroom directly across the hall from ours (and next door to our kids). If you have a smaller house, you just need to be okay with the fact that you’re getting a new family member, full stop. If you’re open to that, it’s really fantastic.

    3. YES! We have an au pair and I have been all over the moms s!te singing her praises. We’ve had her since March and just filed for a 9 month extension (so she’s staying until Christmas 2016).

      So hidden costs. I think you’ve covered most of them (plus her food, of course, plus incidentals of having another adult — e.g., an extra shower every day). We also give her gifts from time to time or pay for things she needs. Like we bought her winter boots and a fleece because she comes from a warm country and doesn’t have them. We didn’t have to, but we found them on sale and figure if she’s happy, our kids will be happier. Also consider that it’s customary to bring your au pair along on family outings and to pay for her ticket/meal/whatever. So on weekends she’ll often come with us if we go out to brunch and we pay for that. When we travel to visit family, we typically bring her along. Sometimes she’s working and sometimes it’s more like “hey, want to see this other part of the country?” And so that’s an extra plane ticket (we’ve put her up with family when we’ve traveled so there isn’t another hotel room, but we’re planning a trip this year where we will need to pay for a room for her). The plus is that if you have a good au pair, even if she’s technically not working, she’ll pitch in with the kids if you’re out and about.

      Things to consider. First think about culture and see if you can get any insight (the au pair company should be able to help and if they can’t/won’t, find a new company). We have a smallish house and knew that we’d be all up in each other’s business so we wanted to jump into the “new family member” thing with both feet. We specifically looked at South America because they tend to have very family-focused cultures and the au pairs tend to want a real second family here in the States. Our au pair is Brazilian and she is definitely very much a part of our family. She eats dinner with us at least 6 nights a week and joins us for weekend errands/outings probably 1/4 of the time. She has friends here, but she really seems to enjoy having a family as a home base. I’ve heard of at least two other host moms who had South or Central American au pairs and got frustrated that they were “always around.” They’ve both switched to northern Europeans and are thrilled. The northern European au pairs tend to be very self-sufficient and used to living their own lives. They do their work then they’re off with friends. Also consider different parenting styles in different cultures. We’ve heard that eastern Europeans tend to be more reserved with children than Americans are used to. They can be excellent au pairs but, for example, are more likely to sit on a chair and watch the children play than to get down on the floor and crawl around with them. Part of the program is cultural exchange so think also about what cultures you like. We got terrific advice to the effect that your au pair will probably cook food from her culture in your house — if you hate the smell of some cultures’ foods, consider that when picking a country.

      As for picking the au pair herself, two things stood out to me about our au pair when I was interviewing her. First, she wasn’t at all afraid to tell me when she hadn’t understood what I’d said. They often are coming here to improve their English and I’d say most au pairs arrive with a low-intermediate level of English. I could always communicate with her effectively, but when she first arrived, I had to consciously speak slowly and use very simple words. A friend had an au pair who was too shy to ask for things to be repeated or explained and it caused a lot of trouble because the friend never knew that the au pair hadn’t understood her instructions until it was too late. Second, she seemed to grasp not only the meaning of the questions I was asking her but also the concern or issue that prompted the question. She has excellent judgment and I find she’ll often take something she knows is a parenting principle of mine (even if I’ve never explained it as such — she gleans my principles from other decisions I’ve made) and applies it to new situations.

      As for companies, we’re with Au Pair in America and have been very happy with them. They offer a very high level of support, both for the families and for the au pairs, and do a very thorough screening of the candidates. I felt comfortable that any candidate we chose would be an entirely competent au pair and that what we were selecting for was really just fit. If you have a particular country in mind, however, you might want to take that into consideration when you’re looking at companies. They tend to recruit heavily in particular places and so some companies have more candidates from specific countries than others do. Au Pair in America seems to have a lot of Brazilian, Thai, and German au pairs, for example. I know some people have au pairs through Euraupair and have liked them (I think, based on the name, that they have exclusively European au pairs).

      I hope that helps. We went with an au pair at first because of the cost. We live in the DC area and have twins and finding two infant slots at the same daycare would have been almost impossible, never mind paying for that. But now I wouldn’t do anything else. In addition to the work she does, it’s so nice to just have another adult around the house. She empties the dishwasher, helps take out the trash, helps put away the groceries, etc. She and I also get along great and it’s like having a little sister or friend living with us (I can’t count the number of chats we’ve had where she’s ended by shaking her head and saying “the mens, they are like that” — apparently dating in the US and in Brazil is pretty similar!).

    4. I had au pairs throughout my childhood — generally they were great and you seem considerate of all their needs (car, cellphone, private room, I’ll add ESL class availability). From my experience, the older au pairs (21+) were generally much more mature than the younger ones (18-20) and really wanted to be in America, rather than coerced by their parents to leave a boyfriend (true story). However, we have had younger au pairs who were also excellent — I think the key is to thoroughly interview potential au pairs about their motivations for coming here for a year.

    5. Not personal experience, but one of my best friend’s has had two (they generally stay for one year at a time). She’s had a good experience, but said screening is key – a lot of the potential au pairs are looking for a “fun year” and aren’t necessarily into childcare, it’s just a way to get an expenses paid year somewhere else, so she screened for a real interest in children. A big house does help too, since the au pair lives with you. Also, there are a lot of rules around what they can do and what kind of overtime you can ask for. My friend has found it a budget friendly way to get a lot of what she’d get with a nanny, but has said if she could afford it, she’d prefer to have kept her nanny.

    6. I have used sitters but have close friends who have used au pairs. One family had one great one — she was in her late 20s, had traveled before, was a good driver and quite competent at life and child care. The other one was in her young 20s and they had to teach her how to drive, how to shop, how to go to the bank — honestly it was more like adopting a teenager than getting real help. I think to make it work you have to really want to like/love the person and have them actually be like a member of your family.

    7. I’ve never hired an au pair, but I grew up with five of them, so I can give you insight from the child’s perspective, if that helps. The experience on the whole was very positive — we are still in touch with one of the au pairs. Four of the five were kind, helpful, and loving caregivers. One of them was clearly unhappy to be caring for other children while she was away from her own (who would blame her?) This was self-evident from the beginning and unfortunately made for an at times uncomfortable atmosphere in our house. She barely spoke. Several months in, she got very sick and had to have a major operation. Right before the operation, she started mailing large quantities of her things home. After the operation, she never came back. My parents still get calls from the hospital about her bill. I think the key here is screening — perhaps more information could have revealed these red flags earlier.

  19. How do you all keep your makeup brushes for cream/liquid liners clean for each application? I’m using ELF’s cream eyeliner, and really love it. But, the brush requires cleaning after each use…which takes some time to thoroughly clean every morning (I’m a 10-15 min makeup person). Or, am I missing some sort of genius makeup hack that would solve this problem? Happy New Year!

    1. Synthetic bristled brush + a baby wipe are normally all I need to get the majority of the crud off the brush.

    2. Have you tried ELF’s daily brush cleaner? I just spray my makeup brushes a few times with it after I’m done each morning, rub them on a towel to get the gunk off, and the brushes are clean and sanitized and ready to be packed away. It takes 30 seconds per brush.

    3. I use a Sephora brand citrus spray cleaner. Just a one or two spritzes, wipe on a paper towel, and leave to dry for tomorrow. It dries pretty quickly so if you didn’t have time in the morning, you could also do the night before and it would be dry in time.

  20. Shopping help! I’m looking for a wristlet/wallet that can hold 2 phones, my work key card, and cards/change.

    I’m sick of running out for lunch and having to either take my big purse/gym bag, or carrying my wallet, and hoping to find somewhere to keep my phones and keycard, or clutching them all in my hand, like I’ve stolen them out of some woman’s purse. A wristlet that is small and can double as my wallet would help immensely.

      1. I actually have that bag, it’s too big for my purposes, unfortunately- I’d like it to be more wallet sized, so I can slip it into my daily work bag. But, checking out their website, I see that they have a smartphone wristlet, so maybe I’ll check that out.

        2. Maybe try the Hobo Sadie wallet. I can fit two phones in mine, one in the phone pocket without a case and the other in the cash spot. If that is too small, you probably need a purse.

        3. I got the wristlet for christmas. There is no way it will fit two phones. I have trouble fitting my keys, a lipstick and my phone.

    3. I have this in gray. It’s probably a bit bigger than what you were thinking (it doesn’t slip in a larger bag well), but I love it.

  21. I’ll be in Boston early April to see the figure skating World Championships. I have about 6 hours to spend before the competition starts. Any recommendations for things to eat/see that are close to TD Garden or accessible by subway? TIA.

    1. I’ll be in Boston early April to see the figure skating World Championships. I have about 6 hours to spend before the competition starts. Any recommendations for things to eat/see that are close to TD Garden or accessible by subway? TIA.

    2. Can you tell us a little bit about your interests? Boston is so small, everything is pretty much accessible. Without knowing what you’re into and whether you have been to boston before, I would suggest checking out the North end and faneuil hall, which are easily walkable from that area. I would also recommend checking out the Boston common/newbury st/beacon hill, which you could walk to but might prefer subway/uber/cab since you only have a limited amount of time.

    3. Thanks for the replies! I haven’t been to Boston before, and since I’m also aware of the limited time I have, I know I can’t cover everything. I’m mainly interested in good eats and some easy strolling/sight seeing to kill time before I go into the rink.

      Quincy Market sounds like just what I need!

      1. I was there for work and downloaded a podcast for the Freedom Trail that was very interesting and engaging and took me by the main spots.

    5. As a former figure skater, I’m very jealous that you’re going to worlds! I went to US Nationals in San Jose a couple years ago and saw the ladies freeskate – it was awesome and I’m sure Worlds is on another level.

      1. I’m also very excited! If you’re based in the US, you should try to make the trip. Flying to Boston is much easier than to Shanghai or Nagano.

    6. The North End is probably best for tourists in terms of sightseeing, shopping, and dining. Definitely get a cannoli from either Mike’s or Modern – I think Mike’s is a little better, and that’s coming from a Bostonian, but if the line’s ridiculous Modern is pretty good too. Fanueil Hall, Downtown Crossing, Prudential Center/Copley Place are nice and all, but mostly full of the same chain stores and restaurants you can find in most malls in the US.

      That said, if you like seafood and aren’t from a place known for it, definitely check out Legal Seafoods, that’s a New England-specific chain that’s definitely worth going to.

      Aside from that, I’d also recommend the Seaport (and a trip to the Aquarium). Harvard Square is also great but possibly a little far away, you may not want to spend that much time on the T.

      1. No way! I am 100% pro-Modern in that debate! :) I find Mike’s to be too sweet and over-filled on cream. I second walking around the North End, which will include a bunch of Freedom Trail sites, then maybe a stroll along the harbor. If you’re into art, the ICA is about a 20 minute walk away (or you can take the T out to the MFA ).

        1. Hah, maybe I’ll just push my sugar limit and jave two canolies! No need to choose.

          Thanks for all the suggestions. I was gonna skip North End because street views from Google maps look old and claustrophobic, but I think I’ll try it out for all of your endorsements. Maybe it’s the old charm of New England?

      2. Another vote for Mike’s over Modern, which seems to be an unpopular opinion among locals.

  22. I have a conference next week in Laguna Beach. Are my black tights and boots going to look crazy?

    2. I am sitting in my office in LA wearing black tights and boots today. When it gets into the 60s here, we break out the winter clothes.

    3. No, you will look like a local. I’m wearing the fabled FLEECE TIGHTS today in Los Angeles, because it was below 60 when I left the house this morning.

    4. No, you’ll look normal. We all think it is really cold here now. I am serious.

  23. What programs or methods do you guys use to keep track of your money/budget? My husband and I really want to be more on top of things this year with money. We are both attorneys, and we have an 8 month old daughter. I’ve tried using mint before, but I found it to be so time consuming because it would categorize things wrong, so I would have to manually re-categorize, the connections to our various accounts always got disconnected, etc. Are there similar, but more efficient programs out there?

    Thanks!

    1. How long did you use Mint? If you make rules each time you re-categorize it learns them. Most of the accounts will also reconnect on their own after a brief hiatus for upgrades. I use it exclusively and it really doesn’t take me much time. I love that I can see a list of upcoming bills.

      It is absolutely time consuming in the beginning but once you have put in the work it is all on auto. I’d say it takes about 3 months or so to get there. You can also just “teach” it once/month but it will obviously take longer than if you did it daily or weekly.

      1. There’s also the option to “always reclassify x as y” if you prefer to do different categories. For example, I classify a couple of local pubs as “restaurant” but Mint always wants to do it as “Bars & Alcohol,” so I have a rule to reclassify always when the charge comes up as Ye Old Pubb.

      2. My issue was that if I spent money that wasn’t categorized as one of my budget areas it would just not count it against my budget. So if I spent $500 on X, but X isn’t a category in my budget, it would think that I had not spent the $500 and that I was $500 under budget/had $500 left to spend.

      3. Yes, I find this too – it does “learn” eventually. I stop in and recategorize once every couple of months now.

      4. Agree with this. I realize there are quite a few YNAB fanatics on this site, but if OP is saying she is frustrated with having to manually categorize even just a few transactions, the answer is not “Do it ALL manually!” Mint does have its minor annoyances on things like OP mentions, but it’s still far better to have to fix 2 transactions out of 100 than to have to manually enter all 100. No thanks.

    2. I love mint for monitoring my balances but don’t like it for tracking my budget. YNAB is way better for budget tracking.

    3. I use Mint & find it pretty good generally — while I have to go in and recategorize items sometimes, I haven’t had the disconnected account issue you mentioned.
      You Need a Budget is also highly recommended on this s*te, and I know some people are old school & use an excel sheet.

    4. Yes!!! Pear Budget is fantastic. It’s a downloaded, customizable Excel budgeting template. Better than Mint.

    5. I use YNAB. It’s time consuming to set up but pretty easy going forward. They just changed to a web-based system so I set everything up fresh again. It took me about 45 minutes.

      You can link your accounts now but I prefer to manually enter things. The category for each company defaults to what you used last time but its quick to change as you input your transactions.

    6. I use an excel spreadsheet to keep track of our budget, the My Weekly Budget App to keep track of my own weekly expenses (my husband and I each get weekly “free money”) and I check our accounts (we have 2 checking accounts and 3 savings accounts all at the same institution and 2 credit cards we use regularly) everyday. Most of our expenses our automated, so I generally just enter any unusual expenses into the spreadsheet on the weekends and then balance everything at the end of the month.

      I used Mint for awhile and found it to be more complicated than I needed.

    7. I’ve been really happy with GoodBudget. I tried Mint for a while and had the same problems you listed. GoodBudget is a fairly simple envelopes system (I take the amount of money I make each month, dole it out into around 10 virtual envelopes, and just enter each transaction.) One pro/con is that there’s no syncing with accounts (that might be possible, but I’m not sure). I like this, because it means that I do have to manually enter each transaction, which keeps me well-apprised of what’s going on, even though it’s a little more work and easy to let slide. (I can set up automatic deductions, i.e., I have it programmed to subtract the mortgage payment on a specific day of each month, and I enter in things that change (like utility bills) to auto-deduct each month, which makes things a little easier). I think that it’s been really helpful in helping us understand what we are spending and what we can and can’t do, particularly with regards to paying down student loans.

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