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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 100 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: ALTUZARRA

Suit of the Week

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Altuzarra Topstitch BlazerFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. This suit won't be everyone's cup of tea (or even everyone's fantasy cup of tea), but I keep coming back to it — I think because the proportions feel right to me, at least for a suit with a longer blazer. Full length pants! Nipped in blazer with collar! Slightly longer blazer, yes, but not humorously so. The matching dress shares the topstitch details, while the pants don't seem to have any of the details. Ladies, what are your thoughts — do you like the proportions or do you prefer trendier details like ankle pants and collarless blazers? The blazer (ALTUZARRA Topstitch Blazer) is $1795, and the pants (ALTUZARRA Flare Leg Serge Pants) are $795; the dress (ALTUZARRA Stripe Sleeveless A-Line Dress) is $1595. It's difficult to find matches with topstitched details, but proportionally, here's a slightly more affordable version (lots of the higher-end designers have this look right now!), and here's a plus-size suit with a collar and nipped waist. (L-all)

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About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Week Routine?

    How much of a routine do you all tend to follow? Both in terms of like, “mondays I run and tuesdays I go to trivia and wednesdays I do yoga” kind of stuff, but also in like ‘Sundays I do laundry, Tuesdays I pay bills” kind of thing? I feel like I am old enough I should have this stuff on lock (I’m nearly 40!) But for the past 10-15 years, I’ve done a ton of work travel, and therefore had to just roll with it–some weeks I was gone Sun-Thurs, others just Tues-Weds, etc. And now I’m floundering a bit, because some of the urgency of “I’m only home two days this week, must do all the cleaning and see all the friends and do all the things!” is gone, replaced by “Oh, well, I will still be here tomorrow, I can do it then” (yes, I tend to be a procrastinator!) I”m thinking if I can get a bit more of a routine going it will help shape my weeks, but I”m not sure how much is helpful vs how much would be trying too hard or getting stuck in a rut!

    • EM

      With respect to cleaning, bill paying, mail reading, grooming, laundry, etc etc etc…yes, this is my early morning Sunday task. I look at it as maintaining MY LIFE, which is a joy and privilege, not a drudgery chore. While doing laundry I take the time to admire my clothes and the work I put in to afford them, while grooming I take pride in my overall health and the good results from having a proper skin care routine, while bill paying I admire my financial restraint….and so forth.

      FWIW, it takes me less than 3 hours to do all this, and at the end I feel so proud of my accomplishments. And then I drink coffee (sometimes with a drop of Bailey’s) and do the crossword puzzle and feel quite relaxed.

      • Bewitched

        OK, is this comment from a troll? “admire my clothes and the work I put in to afford them”????

        To answer the “real” question polled, I don’t have a set routine but I do tend to throw laundry in at night and fold in the morning a couple of days a week. I’d like to be more conscientious about doing a weekly update of my checkbook register but….We usually do most of our cleaning on Saturday mornings, we are up early so even with coffee and reading the paper we can be done before noon.

        • Maddie Ross

          Ok, the language used is a bit odd perhaps, but I agree with the general sentiment. Before I had kids, I used to take time every couple of weeks to “curate” my closet, by which I mean I would go thru and try new combinations, rotate clothing, and put aside certain things to be donated/mended/cleaned. I don’t know that I thought about the work that went into buying them per se, but I did really enjoy the process and wish I still had more time for this…

        • EM

          No. Maybe I used the wrong expression.

          Clothes are expensive. Quality clothes are, anyway. To afford many of the things that Kat posts, well, one must have a degree of financial success to be able to buy them. And I don’t want to ever forget that a) I can afford clothes and b) I can occasionally afford designer clothing.

          There were periods in my life when I couldn’t afford new clothes, or had to chose between gas and food.

          So yes, it gives me a great deal of pride to maintain the material goods that I have not always had the good fortune to have.

          • emeralds

            It sounds like you have a routine that works for you and that you have some great positive self-talk going, so A+ for that, and way to frame tasks that many people view as drudgery into the important acts of self-care that they are. You keep doing you!

          • Anonymous

            Seriously! It so bugs me when people call a comment a troll just because it doesn’t conform to whatever that person thinks is the norm. Your comment was great! We should all realize that we are very fortunate.

          • nutella

            I like this philosophy. Years ago I was sidelined by an injury that made it difficult to walk, eventually requiring surgery and PT. Now, even years later, when I exercise I think “I am grateful I can jump” – especially at the hard parts when I want to quit. It’s a nice pep talk because yes, I know that being fully able-bodied is lucky.

            … I also do the same when I do laundry now that I have it in-unit because I hated how hard it was to get to the laundromat before!

          • Nati

            Gratitude is so important. Rock on! I thought your comment was inspiring. I love to see people who really cherish what they own – it’s rare these days.

          • Mindy

            I also like your comment because I realize I just fit stuff in when OMG, I need to pay bills! I need to hang out my clothes! ugh, I have to wash my face… etc.

            I think it’s a fun way to think about the things we take for granted, so thank you for sharing!!

            It’s also similar to the Kondo philosophy!

      • Anonymous

        I thought that line was a Konmari obsessed poster but I call troll based on the claim that all this gets done in 3 hours (grooming+ laundry + bill paying + cleaning). And probably a male troll because of the low time estimate!

        • EM

          Cripes. Female here. I only maintain for myself. And HEAVY DUTY cleaning is not included.

          • not OP "em"

            I tried to reply to this (in moderation, if it ever makes it out) and accidentally used “em” as my username. Sorry, OP.

        • em

          Maybe I’m abnormal, but I don’t think it’s that ridiculous. Figure 30 minutes each for laundry (because you can do something else while the loads are running), grooming, and bills/mail. An hour for cleaning, and the extra 30 minutes to whatever needs extra attention.

          I get that this wouldn’t work for all people — you might have a house instead of a small apartment, or kids, and I try to spend 10-15 minutes every night generally straightening up. But just because it doesn’t work that way for you doesn’t mean that that commenter is necessarily a troll or a man?

        • Anonymous

          Why would this be a trolll???? My goodness gracious. Calm down, people.

      • Anonymous Poser

        This sounds *awesome*.
        And like how I’d like to be when I grow up. ;-)

        Seriously, though–I am starting to relate to this, “I look at it as maintaining MY LIFE, which is a joy and privilege, not a drudgery chore.” Not all the way there, yet, but it is making a difference. More specifically, it’s about maintaining the kind of life I want to live…

    • lawsuited

      I don’t have a day-by-day schedule for these things, but I have a rule that I do at least one chore in the morning (e.g. unpack the dishwasher, drop off a package) and at least one chore in the evening (e.g. do a load of laundry, vacuum the living room). It means each chore is pretty small and doesn’t become so enormous that I avoid it, it prevents me from vegging out and not doing anything the whole night (which makes me feel wretched), and things stay pretty well-managed.

    • tesyaa

      I’m not sure if it’s helpful. I have a large family, so I do laundry whenever the baskets are full; I clean when things are dirty enough that they bother me (my standards are fairly average, I think). I pay bills when they need to be paid, etc. Unless you are procrastinating so much that your home is unsanitary, you never have clean clothes and your bills are overdue, I think it’s OK to take time to do what you enjoy instead of tying yourself to a strict schedule.

    • TO Lawyer

      I try to do things as I go. Most of my bills are on auto-pay and the rest of them are set up as payees on my online banking so when I get a bill that doesn’t get paid automatically, I will pay it right away from my phone.

      I try to do the same thing with respect to other chores – unload the dishwasher while dinner is warming up, put dirty plates in the dishwasher right away, put my clothes away when I take them off… it just makes it so much easier than having to view it all as multiple chores that need to be done at the same time.

      • Nati

        This year, I started living by a new rule – if something takes less than 5 or 10 minutes, I just DO IT! Immediately! You wouldn’t believe how well it works to keep things under control.

    • SC

      I don’t really have a routine where “Mondays I do this, Tuesdays I do that.” Really, during the week, it’s about all we can do take care of our kid, make dinner, and do the dishes after we get home from work. I know that grocery shopping has to happen over the weekends. And Sundays I clean the litter box and take out all the trash and recycling because pickup is on Monday. Once every couple of weeks, DH and I set aside a good chunk of time over the weekend to do more deep cleaning stuff or run errands. But mostly, we get to stuff when we notice it needs to be done.

    • Anonymous

      I’m all about the routine. I have a workout routine (specific classes on specific days) and a chores routine (i.e., grocery shopping and tidying get done on Sunday because the housekeeper comes to cook, clean and do laundry on Monday). I don’t have much of a social life between working 70 hours a week and having a young kid, so no routine there.

    • Anonymous

      I am such a creature of habit – I definitely have a weekly routine.

      Mondays – gym/run after work or once a month a meeting.
      Tuesdays – barn night, lesson at 6.
      Wednesdays – gym/run after work or hair appointment every two months.
      Thursdays – run/gym after work then barn.
      Fridays – off day for working out, hang with dog and /or make social plans.
      Saturdays – long run first thing in the morning, clean house/do laundry, read/relax, grocery store.
      Sundays – barn first thing in the morning, finish up laundry from the day before if necessary, put clothes away (I am the worst at this), make lunches for the week, manicure.

      Obviously, there are weeks where things adjust slightly for events or whatever, but this is the schedule I generally follow every week and is my ideal schedule.

  2. KT

    I love this suit, and I usually hate Kat’s suiting picks. This looks like such a fun non-basic go-to, though.

  3. online LLM

    Have any of you tried online LLM programs?

    I am looking at them for area-specific learning. Is the education good? Do-able if you area already working?

    I am not necessarily looking to get an LLM (more like taking LLM level classes periodically to have good teachers and good advanced content). I have a fear than an online LLM would probably be viewed as a net minus on my resume anyway (true? no? where I live has no local option, so it’s this, PLI, or nothing (although I have a CLE budget that would let me take a class or two a year)).

    What do people do to learn (outside of things coming up in practice)? There are only so many Intro to X CLEs that I can go to before I go mad. [Or is CLE just a bit of a joke and I should just play the game?]

    • Anon

      LLM quality varies widely, depending on whether it’s a diploma-mill cash cow type program or a legit one. Varies depending on the subject. I just finished a joint JD/LLM, and the quality of the instruction in the LLM was much more similar to college (not law) classes. Very little cold-calling. Less case-based law. Much mor e lecture/much less Socratic method, etc.

      I find PLIs to be very high quality, so I am not sure why you couldn’t do more PLIs. And if you are creative, you can find absolutely excellent, in-depth CLEs given by many firms looking to land clients. The ABA has free CLEs in many different divisions all the time (but membership is pricy). Loads of firms have free ones, and they are often really specialized.

      You might get better suggestions on where to find good content if you posted the area of the law you’re interested in.

      • Tax LLM -- worth it?

        Not sure if this is tax-related, but is an LLM in Tax worth it?

        E.g.:

        NYU attended live (if on your dime, but you at least are already in the area)
        on-line LLM started during clerkship (but perhaps finished after, so I could say X credits towards LLM on my resume at some point)

        (Do LLMs from online places even flag them as such if there are on-line and live programs for the same degree?)

    • Coach Laura

      I can’t answer questions about the quality of instruction or the rigor but I don’t necessarily think an LLM would be a resume negative. Mid-career degrees are different from entry level JD or bachelors degrees in that it’s more accepted that an adult would have to complete the degree while working and, if limited by geography, online. An online LLM may be beneficial but may not lead to increased salary though a tax LLM may be an exception.

      Most online programs from reputable brick-and-mortar universities don’t put “online” on the diploma and many don’t make the notation on the transcript: However, I don’t think there’s any point to misleading an interviewer were they to ask if the degree was on-ground or on-line.

      I completed my masters while working 50+ hours (and parenting) and the key was only one class at a time and perhaps some weeks between classes to catch my breath and, often, to read the textbook ahead of time so that I could focus on the papers and additional readings during the class.

      What you’d want to stay away from are low-level programs (for-profit universities and/or Nationally Accredited universities). I would suggest a university that has a physical location near you. Just a quick google search gave the names Boston U, University of Southern California , Washington University in St. Louis, NYU, Northwestern and Loyola Chicago. Check your alma mater too, either undergrad or law. So if you’re on the east coast, check out BU or NYU, or if you’re mid-west try WU, NW or Loyola and USC if you’re west coast. Or pick a program with an area of emphasis that appeals to you and will help you be engaged.

      If you have more questions let me know.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve done it about 9 months now and LOVE it. I’ve become a bit of an addict. I was a runner before who only dabbled in light lifting, so this was a perfect find for me. The classes are a reasonable length (budgeted for an hour of time, but really last about 50-55 minutes) and I really feel as though I get a good workout. The interval training has definitely helped with my general fitness level and I like that I am getting more definition with the lifting. Despite my “addiction” I do appreciate that it doesn’t have the cultish feel of Cross Fit and is very open to all fitness levels.

      • Anonymous

        I do CrossFit so maybe I’ve been brainwashed by the cult, but I found the coaching at OTF severely lacking – there is too much going on there for coaches to give individual attention and a coach might have 30+ people all going at once. If you are pretty comfortable with form etc and just looking for some accountability or somebody to structure an hour of time for you, it’s fine and I have friends who love it and I go occasionally. If you need instruction on the proper way to squat or an adaptation for an injury, this isn’t the place for it.

        • Anonymous

          True in a sense. The room is probably 15-ish people lifting and 15-ish on the treadmill. And there’s really no “form correction” involved in the treadmill portion. If you don’t have any lifting experience at all, it would probably be worth going early (when there’s not an earlier class) and getting some instruction. Or pointing it out. But I’ve definitely had form corrected. And most of the moves are repeated fairly frequently (goblet squats, burpees, Arnold presses), so it doesn’t take long to get them down.

          • Anonymous

            I’ve been in OTF classes where the weights, rowers and treadmills were ALL full – it’s called a cyclone or something?

            Mass chaos. It gives me anxiety thinking about it.

        • Anonymous

          See, this is why I stopped going to CF. The classes were too big to be safe, period, and certainly too big for the coaches to give any individualized attention.

      • anon-oh-no

        me too. I started in October and its awesome. its a great workout. its broken down into running, rowing, and weigh room. And from there, there are Strength days, Endurance days, Power days and combo “ESP” days.

        Im not sure how much individual coaching you really need — youre running (no coaching, just encouragement), rowing (form is corrected if necessary, otherwise just encouragement), or weights (for is generally corrected and encouragement given — e.g., more weight on strength days)

        • anon-oh-no

          the weights, rowers, and treadmills all full are called “3G” classes. Sometimes you just do 16 min. on each and then rotate. Other days you switch around after each 4-5 minute block. I find these classes more exciting. 3G classes really only happen in high volume areas, but I actually like them better.

          Once in a while they do a “tornado,” where you switch every minute. that was a bit chaotic. but still fun and nice to switch things up.

  5. Legally Brunette

    NAS question. If I have a Nordstrom credit card, do I need to set up an appointment with a stylist to go in-store tomorrow for the early access sale? Or can I just walk in? I strongly prefer the latter.

    • MJ

      You can just walk in, but if you want a stylist available, I’d make an appt. If you just want to browse on your own, have at. I am personally a fan of overordering on the web and then returning in person shortly thereafter, once I try stuff on. This is sort of how it has to go, since so much sells out and I am a non-standard shoe size, even by Nordy’s size range!

    • anon in SV

      At my Nordie’s, last year it was a sectioned-off portion of the store and you didn’t need an appointment. Given that Nordstrom is underperforming this year, I would expect they want to create as many opportunities for customers to spend money as possible.

  6. Anon

    I want to talk sh!t about a particular wedding trend I’ve been seeing: huge bridal parties. I think it’s tacky and unnecessary.

    • A different Anon

      Interesting.

      I have no dog in this fight – our bridal party was my two brothers on my side, his two brothers plus two friends on his. And I’m a smaller, more casual weddings are more fun person generally. But why is it “tacky and unnecessary”? If the point is that you want to be surrounded by people who support you and encourage you and who have been there for you as a couple, and you happen to be the type to have a LOT of those people, then why is it tacky or unnecessary to want to include them?

      • tesyaa

        When was this not a thing? I remember huge bridal parties in the 80s and 90s. Not everyone did it, but it certainly wasn’t unheard of.

        • A different Anon

          That too. I mean, I guess if you’re talking about 12 on a side, then that is new. But I’ve seen plenty of 80s/90s wedding photos with 7-8 bridesmaids and groomsmen.

          • Anonymous

            As a flower girl in many weddings, my life goal used to be to be a bridesmaid in as many weddings as possible. I’d look through the Sears and Penney’s catalogs at the pastel dresses (and the matching hats and parasols (for indoor weddings — crazy!)). I’d hot roller my hair. It would be great. Seventeen Magazine used to have a wedding issue in late winter — for people who got married out of high school. So awesome!

            I think this was as close as I got to Cinderella. Dressing up, walking around before people, and being called pretty.

            [For a tall, skinny, buck-toothed girl who was good at math, I loved every bit of this. It was so Barbie-fantastic. But, you know, that for when I was a kid. It was just not like that once I was old enough to start paying for a dress and matching shoes I’d never wear again and having to give up weekend time. When I got married, I didn’t have any attendants (but anyone who wanted to could fuss over me before).]

          • Anonymous

            Yeah, it seems like one of those 80s/90s things to me. My parents (early 80s wedding) had 7 on each side… between them there were six sisters, three brothers, a cousin and a few childhood friends.

    • engaged

      My fiance and I have 10 siblings between the two of us, so assuming we ask them to be in our wedding parties, if we also want to each have our 2-3 closest friends included, we are already working with giant wedding parties. I am very interested to hear what about “large” wedding parties you find to be tacky.

      • Anonymous

        I’m not the OP, but I’m pretty bah humbug about weddings:

        You’re getting married, not inventing a cure for cancer. You are not entitled to have a dozen people fawn over you, or to be at your beck and call for a year, or to throw away thousands of dollars on multiple parties and dresses they’ll never wear again.

        • arya

          then they don’t have to agree to be in the wedding! no one is saying the bride is entitled to these things. presumably the other adult humans who were asked to participate did consent before they wore their pastel dresses.

          personally, i love being in bridal parties. i find it to be super fun and special and i like spending time with my friends in those groups celebrating things.

        • Anonymama

          But there isn’t necessarily a correlation between those things and large bridal parties. I mean, it may occasionally be a symptom of over-the-top wedding ridiculousness, but at weddings I’ve been to it usually means people have big families, plus a few close friends.

        • SC

          I think the difference may be in what is expected of bridesmaids. I had a relatively large wedding party (8 bridesmaids, 8 groomsmen). But in no way did I expect the 8 bridesmaids to be at my beck and call for a year. There was no group dress shopping, no outsourced wedding planning, no crafts when they arrived for the wedding weekend. My MOH helped me shop for the bridesmaids dresses, and another bridesmaid came to one dress fitting so she could help me put it on at the wedding.

          We had multiple parties in different cities and for different sets of people before the wedding, but only my MOH attended more than one pre-wedding party (shower in our hometown, which her mother threw, and bachelor*tte). I also paid for a lot of wedding party expenses, including hotel rooms and hair/makeup.

          I’ve been a bridesmaid in at least 7 weddings now (and my husband has been in several more). The size of the wedding party has varied. But I’ve never felt like I was at someone’s “beck and call.” I’ve always loved the bride/couple and have been happy to celebrate with them. I’ve also only been in one wedding where I had to do anything besides show up with my dress, and even then, it was only the weekend of the wedding (and I was the MOH-other bridesmaids came in right before the ceremony and did much less). I HAVE spent thousands of dollars traveling, but DH and I adopted a “one pre-wedding party per wedding” rule, and it’s worked out well, at least for out-of-town events.

    • CPA Lady

      Where do you live? I think huge (10-12+) bridal parties are normal in the South and have been for as long as I can remember.

      • anon

        +1

        Esp. when you’re getting married close to college graduation (as southerners are wont to do) and still have a large network of friends/sorority sisters.

    • Anonymous

      What do you mean by huge? I know some people consider 5 on each side to be big, but I personally know a bride who had 16 bridesmaids and I would consider up to 6 or 7 to be pretty typical. I don’t think it’s tacky, but I do kind of think it devalues the meaning of being in the bridal party and, at least in most cases, results in people who really shouldn’t be/don’t want to be in the wedding party getting conscripted. If you are that rare bird who REALLY has 14 best friends or has five sisters, three future sisters-in-law, and then wants to have a couple best friends too, that’s one thing, but a lot of people seem to be doing it to prove how popular they are and using people who are barely more than acquaintances. My husband had to be a groomsman in a wedding of a second cousin because his bride was having a huge wedding party and wanted it to be even. And even with drafting basically everyone he had ever met, he had only 9 and the girl had 13 so it was uneven anyway. I wish he had just stuck to his real friends and not made my husband spend $200 renting a tux.
      FWIW, I had five and if I had it to do over again would just have had three (my SIL, high school best friend and college best friend). The other two were friends I hung out with a lot around the time I got married, but we never got to that BFF level and haven’t stayed close.

    • cbackson

      I’m from Georgia, and that is not a trend here. It’s a fact of life from time immemorial. Or at least, for several generations. 4-5 bridesmaids, a maid of honor, a junior bridesmaid or two, flower girls, groomsmen, best man, ringbearer, guestbook girl, program girl, the girl who serves the punch, the girl who cuts the cake…you give everyone a job so the amount of time that can be spent gossiping/covertly drinking Jack Daniels under the church fire escape/getting into fights/painting obscene slogans on cars is limited.

      I mean, I had three bridesmaids, who wore black dresses, an odd number of groomsmen who wore whatever, and no other attendants, but my wedding was considered offbeat and “interesting” by my local community given the lack of tulle.

      • Anonymous

        Yes — junior bridesmaids — the crowd who really lives for this! I know I did.

      • Gail the Goldfish

        Yep, this is very much a Southern thing. But I think the trend is actually swinging toward smaller bridal parties.

      • Not That Anne, The Other Anne

        Oh my lord, you have described Southern Weddings so well. And I think my well-hidden Georgia accent is trying to re-emerge just from reading that description.

        Thank you for the laugh!

      • Idea

        Is that why we all had jobs? That’s hilarious.
        I wasn’t a bridesmaid TOO often, but I was really good at standing by the guestbook and reminding people to sign in…

    • Anonymous

      I actually think the trend is waning in favor of having no or very small bridal parties. Maybe because of the economy? Millenials have to move farther away for job opportunities, have less job security, and have more student debt at a higher interest rate. We don’t have the time or the money to be super involved in 10-15 weddings. Hell, a lot of my peers don’t even attend weddings of friends from high school or college due to cost and limited vacation time.

    • nutella

      Getting married soon and decided at a young age that I was not going to have bridesmaids – I had been in too many weddings and just decided No. Still, from what I have observed, anywhere from 5-10 is considered ‘normal’ range to people, and has been for a long time — to the point that when I tell people we are not having a bridal party they are so surprised by it.

      • A different Anon

        Yes, people will be surprised. When I told people my bridal party was my two brothers, most people responded with “Oh, cool! And how many bridesmaids?” None – just my brothers.

        • nutella

          Haha, yeah, it has been like this:
          -How big is your bridal party?
          -Oh, actually we aren’t having one, so it will just be us! (with a smile)
          -Oh. … (awkward pause)

          I don’t care; it doesn’t bother me and won’t change our plans, but it’s been funny to observe. I think just because it’s one of those choices people feel reflects on their choices – it doesn’t, it’s just what we decided – so whatevs! Shrugs!

          • Senior Attorney

            I had five bridesmaids and a flower girl the first time. Two bridesmaids the second time.

            This time it’s just going to be my son standing up with me, and Lovely Fiance’s surrogate daughter standing up with him. We’re calling them the Best Gal and the Man of Honor.

          • Not That Anne, The Other Anne

            Also causing an awkward pause, for the record, is being a woman on the Groom’s side. It really confused the bridal salon when I called to order the bridesmaid dress style but in black.

            “But, the bridesmaids are in green for that wedding.”
            “I know. I’m not a bridesmaid. I’m on the groom’s side.”
            ” …..”
            “Look, can I just buy the dress and have it shipped to me? Thank you.”

          • Anonymous

            I’m going to a wedding in a few months that has a Man of Honor. And I think my fiance and I may have a fight over whose side our mutual close friend ends up on.

          • Senior Attorney

            OMG I love the woman-on-the-groom’s-side wearing the bridesmaid dress but in black. LOVE!

          • Not That Anne, The Other Anne

            Thanks, SA! It seemed the best way to indicate that I was indeed (a) supposed to be up there and (b) wasn’t just confused about which side I was supposed to stand on. :)

    • Anonymous

      I went to a wedding once where about half of the attendees were in the bridal party. As in maybe 50 people in attendance at the wedding, and 20+ of those were in the bridal party (10 or more per side).

      At the time I thought it was a bit silly or tacky or something.
      But with the benefit of hindsight (this was 10 or more years ago), I’m more on the side of thinking how the couple can probably look at the pictures and enjoy seeing all of their family standing up for them.
      To each their own.

  7. Lyssa

    Looks like I’ll be spending Sunday in Philadelphia with my husband & 2 kids (1 and 3.5) and my sister and her husband and 1.5 year old. Any suggestions on what to do and how to get around? I’ve been there a number of times, but it’s been a long time (pre-kids) and I’m terrible with navigation. We’d like to go to the Franklin Institute, and I’ve always loved Reading Terminal. We’ll have a car, but are not adverse to leaving it somewhere and walking/taking public transportation.

    TIA!

    • Cat

      Where will you be staying? A few other kid and adult friendly options that come to mind immediately:

      -Spruce Harbor Park (on the Delaware waterfront at Spruce Street) is a good crowd pleaser for kids and parents — there’s food trucks, beer/wine, chairs, hammocks, and kid-friendly play stuff set up like giant legos.

      -If you like walking, head to the Schuylkill Banks Trail — there’s access points off Race (which is the street just south of the Franklin Institute, head about 4 blocks west) and enjoy a walk by the water. It’s also a nice way to go north/south if you’re needing to go that way anyway. You could walk from the Franklin Institute down to Markward Playground (a popular play area on the Schuylkill) in about 30 min. with a good pace.

      -As an alternative to the Franklin Institute, you could drive over to the Please Touch Museum (open 11-5 on Sundays) – they have a wide variety of activities that could be fun even for young toddlers.

    • LilyB

      Please Touch Museum!!! The kids will love it and it’s not bad for adults either. Franklin Institute for sure. And check out one of the beer gardens- spruce street harbor, south street beer garden (15th and South) or the new viaduct beer garden (in an… up and coming neighborhood… but pretty cool). They all have good nibbles and craft beers.

      • Lyssa

        Oh, I remember going there when I was a little kid, and loving it (the Please Touch Museum, not the beer gardens). Those sound great!

        • LilyB

          also, you should be able to park no problem at the PTM, and it’s a good 15 minute drive from center city. For just getting around center city (including franklin institute/beer gardens), I would say take ubers, but I’m not sure what your car seat situation is. Parking can be rough.

        • Anonymous

          Some of my earliest memories are of the Please Touch Museum! I’m so glad to hear it’s still around (I haven’t lived near Philly for 20 years). It must have left a big impact on 5 year old me because I have no other memories of my time there!

        • SW

          With kids that age, I’d skip the Franklin Institute and just go to the Please Touch. The exhibits at the FI will be over their head, and admission is pricey unless you have a reciprocal membership. Climbing on the sculptures in Rittenhouse Square (particularly the goat) is also a hit with kids if you’ll be in that area.

    • Anon

      I was there last summer sightseeing, and I thought the Philly PHlash busses were great. It’s ~$5 for a ticket for the whole day, and it drives you around to about 20+ tourist stops, hop-on, hop-off. This’d be perfect unless your kids are super-small. Everything from Liberty Bell to the Rocky Steps to fountains they can hop in!

    • Momata

      The Zoo and the Please Touch are within 3 minutes of each other. The Zoo is a bit spendy for non members but the kids zoo is great and the bigger animals have wire tunnel enclosures that allow them to walk around the grounds, overhead, etc etc. plus there are pony rides, face painting, swan boats, etc (all extra fees for non members though).

  8. Anon

    I think I need a new job. I’m a consultant and I love my field but I am really starting to dislike my company. I work with mostly men, they all fall on the socially conservative side (where I am very liberal), and they are the worst. I frequently hear sexist remarks and some of them are straight up openly racist. There is no real leadership in my practice area, and I don’t get the sense that the guy who is assigned to be my boss is any position to be my manager.

    I know I need to leave, and I am subtly making moves to get out of there. I’m frustrated after another day of boring nonsense. I haven’t gotten an email since Monday. Blergh.

    • Nati

      Less than two months ago, I was you. I’ve just accepted a dream job with the federal government and start in a few weeks. There is hope! The hardest part for me was sustaining the energy to keep up the search when I was so drained from work each day. I used to motivate myself by imagining how good it’d feel to resign…when the time came it was just as great as I thought it’d be.

      Sending all my positive energy and luck your way!

  9. Pinky

    Y’all, I’m about to start my first “executive” job (I guess I was technically at the same level last year but in a startup where the distinction wasn’t that significant and the money was comparable to individual contributors). I’m struggling with my husband’s envious anger over my new paycheck. Day to day, he is pretty consistent in saying he wants to be an individual contributor long term, but I think it’s just hit him in the cajones to be making a lot less than his wife. Do any of you have advice for helping him through this and/or avoid antagonizing him? I was making more (by a smaller percentage) than he was when we first met, but my salary stagnated for a while and he passed me by, so I think he got used to the idea of being the higher earner in the house.

    • NYtoCO

      I don’t know– not to rag on your husband but this would bother me so much, it’s just so selfish and transparently insecure. If either my husband or I got a huge pay increase, literally the only reaction would be “holy crap we have so much money now!”.

      He should be proud of you (and congrats, by the way!). Despite the fact that I’m having a really hard time sympathizing, I would suggest that you try to speak about it as little as possible, though it sounds like he’s the one who brings it up. Are you antagonizing him? If you are- stop; if you’re not, there’s really nothing more you can do. Perhaps he should consider speaking to someone about his anger? Is this the only part of your relationship where this issue presents itself?

      • lost academic

        My husband and I talked about this a couple weeks ago in response to another thread here… I asked him if it would bother him to be making less and he said, well, yes. I was surprised. And then he said, for all of half a second, because we’d have more money and that’s what I really care about on that end. We both laughed. There’s a potential for that to occur in our current roles (especially if he were to ever leave his current firm) though with his bonus structure in tech is much better than mine is.

    • Anonymous

      Yup, I think my husband would be pretty psyched if I made more money than him just because it means more money for us and better vacations! Actually, he constantly tries to get me to apply for jobs where I would obviously be making more money than him. Try to frame it as all the fun things you can do (together) and financial goals you can meet with the additional income.

  10. Anon

    In our house we flipped- I used to make more than DH, now he makes double what I do. We view our money as joint. Can you two decide how you are going to spend your *joint* new funds? Maybe plan a big trip together?

    • Pinky

      We have a trip planned, and intellectually he does get that this is beneficial to both of us. I think it’s really just the thing of basing professional self-worth on the dollar value that is upsetting him, and that’s harder to address rationally.

      • NYtoCO

        But he’s not even basing his value on the amount of money he makes, he’s basing on the amount he makes relative to you. It just seems so weirdly competitive and petty. I suppose I find this so difficult to understand because everything my husband and I make is “ours”– and the reason we don’t have separate finances is because of issues like the one you’re having.

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