Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Armantine Fitted Tailored T-Blouse
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Sales of note for 2/14/25 (Happy Valentine's Day!):
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- M.M.LaFleur – Save up to 25% on select suiting, this weekend only
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase — and extra 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + 15% off (readers love their suiting as well as their silky shirts like this one)
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 300+ styles $25 and up
- J.Crew – 40% of your purchase – prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site and storewide + extra 50% off clearance
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Flash sale ending soon – markdowns starting from $15, extra 70% off all other markdowns (final sale)
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
Does anybody know of a nice white blouse (preferably collared but not necessary) that is a bodysuit? I have such a problem with shirt staying tucked in. I have looked high and low and am not coming up with anything appropriate for the office. Thanks!
I would suggest Tuxe Bodywear ($ but nice) and Victoria’s Secret (really).
I don’t think Victoria’s Secret makes those anymore. They seem to have done away with most of their clothing line, now it’s mostly lounge wear.
I had one from VS and it was vanity-sized to the max, super baggy, undermining the entire POINT OF A BODYSUIT SORRY I’M DONE
I don’t know if you’re still checking, as I’m about a week and a half late, but the Eva Mendes collection at New York and Company does bodysuits. I have three and wear them all the time for work.
I feel like a fashion commentary is needed before having a TJ: This shirt looks a bit costume-y, like what a Barbie doll wears to her office job. It’s nice, but t-shirt fabric is awful for pit stains and in general and I just don’t think it would be workable IRL.
That said, for those of you with ADHD, when you were in school (not college, school before that), what (if anything) was helpful to you? One of my children (a girl) has it in combined form: both the adHd but also with a lot of daydreaming. She presents differently than boys with ADHD (and I’ve read some great books on girls with ADHD). We try to keep her away from screens and more outdoors / active. We encourage her to have her friends over and to do lots of outdoor activities.
That said, in school, she’s sweet but struggles with wanting to go zooming around the world and being awfully distracted (fidgeting, putting things in her mouth, etc.). she is starting to lag on things like tests where she needs to focus (but not to the point where her large urban school system sees a problem; my opinion differs from theirs). We’ve been on meds since Christmas break, but I don’t think that they are really helping (I don’t notice any difference and often it’s night/day with an ADHD is on meds or isn’t). I’m going to give it one refill’s worth of time before seeing if there might be something else (or going without) as a next step. I’m not sure therapy (as I usually think of it) is quite the answer but am not sure what else there might be that might be worth trying. You all have been great with advice / annecdata and I am all ears . . .
Is she on an IEP at school? Does her psychiatrist have suggestions for therapists? Her pediatrician? Have you worked on study skills and test taking strategies? There have been some recent posts on the Amalah blog about her experiences with her elementary aged boys with ADHD that might have some additional suggestions.
Thanks — no IEP (the school seems to think that she has to be failing / having significant discipline problems to get this) even though we went through testing and no one takes issue with her having AD/HD, they just don’t think it’s impairing enough yet. My goal is to say far, far away from that.
I will check that out.
That is SO not the way this works. Check this out: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/711.html
She’s an exceptional student (Gifted or Learning Disabled – ADHD counts), she gets an IEP. Fight them for this. It made ALL the difference for me in middle school and it’s important to get it documented early because she may need accommodations in college, and colleges tend to frown on students who don’t have lengthy history of existing accommodations. The thinking is, that the student is making up the problem.
I grew up Gifted / Learning Disabled, so I’m speaking from personal experience. For my ADD, things that helped were being able to take tests in a different (quiet) room and extended time on tests. This was provided through Gradschool with no issues (my parents taught me to advocate for myself early, so I was very involved in the process as early as middle school and became familiar with what I was entitled to and how to approach it.)
Don’t feel like you need to stay far far away from an IEP (unless I’m reading your comment wrong, and you mean far far away from her ADHD being impairing). An IEP can make the HUGEST difference, especially in elementary and middle school, and is definitely not just for those failing– it’s for those who are struggling.
Sorry — what I meant was that I don’t want to wait until she is failing to take action. If the school will only act when her AD/HD makes her have a significant impairment, that is too late in my opinion. They agree that she is AD/HD, but since she isn’t having significant problems, then there is nothing to do.
The meds were my idea (so a year ago: teacher + me discuss daydreaming, summer: battery of tests with psychologist, fall: see how next grade goes, follow-up with ped, talk with teacher and school, meeting with ped; winter: start meds and follow-up all around). I’m the the driver here — the school is . . . very passive? overwhelmed with bigger problems? I don’t know. Ultimately, it is my job to help my daughter become a functioning person and if she is wired differently, I still need to help equip her live in the world as it is and as she is.
My parents were asked about putting me on meds when I was 8 or so and they didn’t do it. When I was approached with the idea, when I was 15 and my parents allowed me to make the decision, I went with them and they have helped. But like was mentioned before, there are several brands that work differently, so you may have to try a few to see what works.
You have to ask in writing for IEP or 504 help. You ask for testing/evaluation of her in writing for potenitial issues covered by a 504 or IEP. This triggers timelines for things to happen and data collection requirements.
I had a gifted IEP, and incidentally, was (and still is) ADD.
Ask for a 504 for school. It’s similar to an IEP but not as involved. It takes longer and is harder to get an IEP under the regs entered several years ago but at least starting at the 504 level will help. You have to ask IN WRITING.
also, meds should help pretty quickly with ADHD meds generally. Talk to your doc but I wouldn’t wait.
Also try behavior therapy. They’ll give you tools to help deal with the issues you describe. Ask the therapy team if she may benefit from occupational therapy too.
Is she tired all the time? Hard to get to bed at night? While getting tested for ADHD I ended up diagnosed with sleep apnea. In my docs words, I don’t “look” like someone with sleep apnea. Thinking back through my days of school, the sleep apnea really held me back. The ADHD meds (started as an adult) didn’t make much difference for my work life. They helped me socially (interrupted less, less fidgety in a car) but I still had a rough time concentrating. Treating the sleep apnea helped but didn’t cure it.
She is (and always has been) a champion sleeper (and shares a room with her sister). She goes down pretty quickly and stays asleep all night. I check on her before I go to bed and when I wake up and getting checked on doesn’t disturb her.
The ADHD meds didn’t interfere with this (thankfully).
She not otherwise tired, just worn out after an early-starting school and after-school (which includes a sports / outdoor play component).
There are lots of great suggestions in the ADDitude magazine. I understand about not wanting an IEP or 504 designation at school. However, there are accommodations which can help, including breaking tasks and tests into smaller pieces, preferential seating, etc.
You may want to check out the information on accommodations on Wrightslaw dot com.
I would also consider some physical activity/re-energizing activities such as found in : 404 deskside activities for energetic kids (Barbara Davis) and the website called Brain Gym. All of them should be suitable and easy for any elementary school teacher to apply — for all kids. That being said, you may need an accommodation plan for them. Schools are acquainted with this approach for AD/HD students, yet are overly focused upon grades as opposed to meeting one’s personal capabilities.
Yes, I am a PhD who does assessments for parents and writes reports that go to the schools.
Finally, consider a change of medication; they all have different chemical actions and the first choice may not be the right route for her – ask the prescribing physician if there’s an alternative if the teacher does not see any difference. It’s common for parents not to see changes as the rx can “wear off” by the end of the day …
Your daughter has you by her side – what a great thing!
Thank you. And thank you so much for this (the last part especially):
Schools are acquainted with this approach for AD/HD students, yet are overly focused upon grades as opposed to meeting one’s personal capabilities.
It seems that the school will act if something is truly on fire, but I fear that with non-disruptive students (particularly girls), they will not achieve their full potential or get the support they need because they are not “bad enough” to warrant any attention.
My school(s) were exactly like this. I never reached my potential but as I was neither failing nor disruptive they didn’t consider it a problem.
Thank you for being onside with your daughter. It makes a world of difference.
I just want to clarify one thing in my comment. The symptoms I was referring to for sleep apnea included me being a champion sleeper meaning if I didn’t have an alarm I would sleep forever. I also slept very soundly and couldn’t easily be woken up. I had a really hard time getting going in the mornings but come night time, I wouldn’t get the signal in my brain that it was time to go to bed. That’s because I had one constant amount of foggy tiredness all the time. If I sat down to watch tv, I would fall asleep. People often think they would know if they were suffering from sleep apnea since it involves sort of waking up all the time. I would change sleep cycles to get breathing again but never fully wake up so I had no idea. My brother is being tested for ADHD now and since I have sleep apnea they are having him get tested for that too before they will medicate him.
Thanks for the clarification. Sadly, she will get up at 7 on weekends. And it isn’t that much trouble to get her up on weekdays (she’s like me: she’s hungry and needs to pee).
Sorry to TJ but could you elaborate on the process of getting diagnosed – your symptoms re sleep are EXACTLY how I am!! I’ve been blaming it on being sleep deprived post baby but the baby is a toddler and my husband gets up half the nights so I should be feeling more rested plus sleep was definitely a problem pre baby as well. I’ve wondered if the poor focus/mental fog with possible ADHD related as well.
To Anonymous at 11:23 am –
The process was very simple once the possible issue was identified. My primary referred me to behavioral health for the possible ADHD. When I filled out the questionnaire with all of my symptoms the ADHD NP suggested I have a sleep study to see if I could have sleep apnea. I have excellent insurance so there was no fight there but that can be the biggest battle for some people.
So, I went off to my local hospital for a sleep study. They hooked up some sensors to me like an EKG and stuff and then I was supposed to try to sleep. I found it a bit claustrophobic because I didn’t like having to call someone to unhook me if I wanted to get up to pee. I didn’t sleep well but I slept just enough for them to be able to diagnose me.
Sleep apnea is measured in part by the number of times you have breathing incidents per hour. Under 5 is normal, 5-15 is mild, 15-30 is moderate, over 30 is severe. I don’t remember my exact number but I think it was 33 per hour. I was basically never getting REM sleep.
That test gave me the diagnosis. Then I had to go back and sleep with a cpap so they could figure out what settings would keep me breathing all night. I got to try different masks and find one that I was most comfortable with. Once they had my settings figured out, that was it. Now I just sleep with the machine every night.
I had other issues that resolved or improved post cpap but I can’t say for certain they were related. I had a too high heart rate, I would get winded easily walking fast or up a flight of stairs. My ears always felt swollen and infected. Docs could see the swelling but no infection and no idea what was causing it. I felt AWFUL first thing in the morning. No appetite. Headache. Nausea. I had acid reflux and would wake up coughing on some occasions but not too often. I would feel very tired driving.
I have heard that if someone who is overweight is diagnosed, their doctor or insurance may want them to try weight loss strategies and be retested after losing weight to see if they still need it. Particularly so if you carry fat in the neck region. I was on the lower end of normal weight so they did not ask me to do that.
I replied. Just in mod. Check back later. :)
Thanks Blonde Lawyer. I’m also lower normal weight and I never would have thought to push my doctor to consider sleep apnea as a possible issue.
We have also learned that there are basically two types of ADD- Inattentive and Hyperactive. Inattentive ADD presents just how you’ve described- lots of daydreaming, hard time staying focused on the task at hand, etc. There are some life skills that can help with here- short bursts of work or lots of movement throughout the day- but they only thing that we found that truly made a difference was finding the right medication. I don’t say that lightly. I wouldn’t medicate my child just to take the easy route or if life skills/ occupational therapy worked for us. You can always ask your pediatrician if you can switch meds instead of refilling a script that isn’t working. We have had a lot of trial and error with ADD meds with my kid, and we were told from the beginning that it is definitely more of an art than a science to find the right one for each person.
She presents with what they call combined-type. At first I was thinking just ADD, but she is driven, as if by a motor, so zoom around the house and at recess just zooms around the playground to burn off the restless energy. Also rolling around on footstools or bouncing like crazy on what was supposed to be my exercise ball for ab crunches. So there is the ADHD issue as well — not being alble to sit still (and we had her sit on a wiggle pillow / exercise ball in class for a while until the bouncing got to be too much). (I wish she liked running as a sport, but just seems to be interested in sporadic sprints, like a greyhound.)
She needs to live on a farm where she can hoe a row and then have an hour of class followed by more fieldwork, followed by class, followed by fieldworld. She’s just wired that way.
Have you tried swimming? The water pressure sensation has been helpful to my nephew with adhd. He also has a fidget bracelet thing to direct his nervous energy in class.
Mom to 2 ADHD Boys here. There are actually 3 types. Inattentive, hyperactive and impulsive. One of my do is inattentive/impulsive. The other is hyperactive/impulsive. Both diagnosed by an psychologist that specializes in children and educational issues.
Dh was an elementary school teacher at the time we had our boys diagnosed. We tried every kind of behaviour mod we could. The only thing that really, really worked is meds. And the right meds were life changing for them. We use the meds to help take the edge off. They still struggle with attending to things they don’t like and considering consequences of actions, but the meds give them a step up and make it so they can be successful in implementing strategies to help with this. Our ped described it as their brain needing glasses. Just like our eyes (my boys wear glasses) need a little help so they can see, their brains need a little help so they can focus. The ped also reminds them at every appt that they are the ones that have to do the work. The meds just a tool they use to get the work done.
As a parent I also had to modify my expectations a little. Neither boy will probably ever be able to do more than 2, max 3 requested tasks if I ask all at once, especially in the evening. Every time before we go somewhere that will have lots of people we remind them to be aware of their surroundings. I worry about mr inattentive learning to drive. I think the attention side will be a challenge for him. And that’s just the way things will be. It’s part of their personalities. And wile it is annoying to deal with sometimes, I wouldn’t change them for the world.
Should I wean my 1 year old? We’re going on a trip to India at the end of March when she will be exactly 1. She nurses to sleep but if she’s in bed with me she tends to wake up more to nurse (when she’s in her crib she’ll stay asleep for 10-12 hours). On the trip she will be in our bed and I dont want to wake up frequently to nurse her. On the other hand, I am worried about food quality and want her to have a reliable source of food if she gets sick. We will be gone for one week. Would you wean? If I wasnt going on the trip, I would probably continue nursing only at night before bedtime but I am really dreading the idea of waking every 2-3 hours to nurse her (and creating a bad habit!).
Weird… I thought I posted on the Moms s i t e. Will re-post on moms s i t e.
I would be inclined not to wean. I think the food/possible gastro issue will throw more of a wrench into your plans vs. risk of poor sleep. Why does she have to sleep in the bed with you? Baby Bjorn and Phil & Ted’s have great travel cribs and you can put a mosquito net over top if you’re worried about bugs. The Phil and Ted’s one folds down small enough to go in a carryout. They are also useful for containing babies in non-baby proofed rooms. If she must stay in bed with you, once she falls asleep, switch spots with DH so that he’s next to the baby instead of you. If she can’t smell you, she may not wake up.
“carry on” not “carry out”
I moved to India with my infant and stayed until he was two. It took quite a while for him (at least a week, often longer) to adjust to the time difference every time we came back to India after traveling, so she may be up in the night anyway. Nursing is good when gastro stuff strikes. For food, he mostly avoided the gastro stuff I constantly had because he only ate cooked or peeled fruits and veggies. It’s the salads that’ll get you. Have a great trip!
If you’ve made t this far I’d keep going, out of sheer laziness. No need to pack milk or bottles or sippie cups! Nurse on the plane. If you were traveling 6 months from now I’d reconsider, but I also thought BFing was a royal PITA after 6 months. I made it to 9, barely.
How do you teach your kids how to stay at a healthy weight? I never had food issues growing up, but am now overweight because of my bad eating habits (eating too much!). My kid is 1 right now, and I try to offer fruits and veggies at every meal, though he mostly ignores and goes straight for the meats/carbs/sweets. I let him eat how much he wants, but he eats very little and sometimes not at all. I just had a ped visit and he is underweight – the ped told me since he is a skinny kid he will overcompensate for years of not eating well and will become a fat adult (like I am slowing his metabolism or something?). Though the ped’s comment is bizarre, I do want my son to have good eating habits. For those who haven’t had to struggle with weight or who have kids who haven’t had to, what do you attribute it to?
The doctor’s comment is so weird. Most of the skinny kids I knew growing up are now slender adults. I never had food issues growing up and am currently a healthy weight. My parents didn’t force me to eat any particular type or quantity of food. I was picky growing up, and didn’t really eat veggies (and many other things) until college, but now I eat almost everything. I was sometimes not allowed to eat dessert if I hadn’t eaten enough of my real meal, but I was never told to “clean my plate” or anything like that. In my very anecdotal experience that sort of force feeding may lead to overeating as an adult. The only thing I would do differently from my parents is offering fruit or veggies at more meals. Your approach sounds really good. I would keep doing what you’re doing and maybe get a new doc.
Complete snap!
That doctor’s comment is really weird.
The best thing you can do is maintain healthy habits yourself so your child will mirror them. Eat plenty of fruits and veggies and let him see that. Keep sugar and desserts to a minimum. Stress that “desserts” like ice cream and cakes are for special occasions only. After dinner “dessert” can just be fruit or yogurt.
And watch what you say in front of your child–this is so, so important. My mom and dad (my dad was a boxer, so weight classes were a huge deal to him) talked constantly about needing to lose weight, cravings, and woes about dieting. Every gained ounce was hysteria.
I will say hearing about the impact of a small bowl of pasta CONSTANTLY really skewed my view of food. Pasta, carbs, sweets all became these forbidden devil creations that of course became more appealing.
Meh, I disagree that you should keep desserts to special occasions. My mom *always* had something chocolate in the oven, we had dessert after almost every meal, and I have a healthier relationship with food than just about anyone I know. I’m capable of eating just one cookie because I know I can always eat more at the next meal. My friends who didn’t get desserts except at occasions like birthdays have way more tendency to binge. Also, life is short and I would be miserable if I didn’t eat dessert every day or tried to convince myself fruit or yogurt are a “dessert” (No. Just no.) Just don’t give your kid a whole cake and he’ll be fine.
+1 on the watching what you say in front of your kid.
My mom’s obsession with weight definitely skewed my view of what I can eat. Plus moderation was never really a thing I saw so it makes it really hard for me, at 28, to moderate what I eat. I either have awful eating habits or am on a really strict diet. There is no in between for me, and I’m trying to change my mental patterns about this.
+1,000 to the two comments above me. Do not create the mindset that desserts are for special occasions or use them as rewards. My parents did both and I’ve struggled with dessert binges to make myself feel better when sad or reward myself when happy.
+a million to being mindful about modeling a healthy relationship with food. Eat your veggies, eat your fruits, enjoy desserts and burgers in moderation; never let your kid hear you complain about your body or talk about dieting or cutting carbs or what have you. Both of my parents were really good about this, which I appreciate so very much. I still developed an eating disorder in high school, but I think it would have started earlier and been many magnitudes more serious if my mom had ever talked negatively about her body in front of me, or declared groups of food bad.
And totally agree that the doctor’s comment is bizarre. Can you get a second opinion? Maybe from a pediatric dietitian?
I agree to keep desserts for special occasions or rewards. I was a very skinny kid and my mom let me eat tons of sweets just to get my weight up. I now have an incredible sweet tooth and can’t stop at one cookie. Sweets aren’t evil but LO has to eat his dinner and veggies before he can get a treat. That being said, we don’t force him to eat food that he does not like. His pediatrician said to keep intorducing new foods and let him decide how much he wants to eat.
I had the opposite experience growing up, but I have the same problem now. We were not allowed to have sweets or junk food as kids and my parents treated such things as a reward. I have a VERY hard time with self-control when it comes to that category. I realize I am an adult and should be able to stop myself, but I cannot keep junk food or sweets in the house because I shovel them into my mouth.
+1 to not forcing kids to eat something they don’t want to eat. I don’t remember this, but my parents have told me the story. Apparently in preschool, I once took what the teacher deemed a “too large” portion of macaroni and cheese at lunch. I ate until I was full, but then she made me (i.e., spoke to me sternly until I complied, while crying) finish the rest, after which I was sick. 25 or so years later, I still despise cheese (except on pizza for some reason) and most dairy products, and take calcium supplements daily.
Your ped’s comment sounds nothing like anything else I’ve heard on the subject. If you like the ped, but are concerned about your son being underweight/not eating much, would an appt with a nutritionist help?
We approach mealtimes like this: everyone sits down together. It’s our job as parents to make healthy meals with all or most of the food groups. It’s DD’s job to eat it. Sometimes she clears her plate, sometimes she has 2 bites and she’s done. That’s up to her. We don’t fight or force her to eat. I’m pretty sure I got most of this from Ellyn Satter.
Also, if he’s one, is he still getting a lot of calories from milk? We had to be careful that DD wasn’t filling up on milk, and then not eating food. We found milk at meals didn’t work for us, it’s more of a ‘snack’ between meals.
Yes, I’ve literally never heard a similar comment from a pediatrician before. Mine always told me that, until they’re closer to 2, we can choose what we offer them to eat and the kids can choose how much they want to eat.
I was very lucky that my mom was a wonderful cook, and she usually made us dinners with lean protein and veggies. We still definitely had pizza and Taco Bell, but it was a lot less often than vegetables. I’ve grown up appreciating good, healthy, food and I think my family has a pretty good diet. I would just model moderation and relatively healthy eating habits for your son. To me, that means nothing is “off limits,” but we can look at food as a sometimes-food and always-food.
I found that the Ellyn Satter philosophy (the parent chooses the food that is provided, the child chooses whether and how much to eat) only exacerbated my daughter’s pickiness and failure to gain weight. My child was so stubborn that she would literally starve herself for days on end rather than trying a new food or eating a food she didn’t like or thought she didn’t like. When we were adhering to Satter’s methods, the range of foods she would eat steadily decreased. Eventually she would eat nothing other than breakfast because she didn’t like the food at day care and she didn’t want to eat the family meal at dinner. When we finally threw in the towel and started preparing her alternate versions of our meals and sometimes rewarding her with dessert for trying new foods, she started to eat a wider range of foods in more appropriate quantities.
I think it makes the most sense in context. Parents choose what is provided, and parents choose to include something picky child does eat as part of the vast majority of meals.
…except that this is difficult when parents eat mostly veggies, whole grains, etc. for health reasons and all the picky child will eat is chicken fingers or buttered white-flour noodles. That means a separate dish or meal for the kid, which is against the Satter philosophy.
I can’t say we follow the method fully (I read the book while pregnant, so I’m doing what I think I remember). We do sometimes adjust DD’s meals -giving her a different vegetable or adding some fruit to her plate since she’ll always eat that. DD isn’t a picky eater though, so I can’t speak to that.
Or it means the parents loosen up a bit! You can make a reasonable meal out of baked chicken fingers, broccoli, and a grain. Or buttered noodles, which child mostly eats and you use as a side.
For me, it’s about compromises all around. I don’t think it’s reasonable to both expect not to make a special meal for kids and to expect that you will be able to just eat whatever your adult tastebuds desire.
I think it totally depends on the kid. Ds1 would/will eat pretty much anything. Veggies were his favorite as a kid. Ds2 is picky. For him it’s a texture issue. We had to do more encouraging with him, without forcing because he can be so stubborn. We did a lot of talking with him about how good is fuel and his brain uses most of the calories he eats. Now that he’s 13 it amazes me that he will often want to try something new at restaurants (never ever would have happened when he was 5) although he still refuses to have dressing on his salad. He will always eat carbs, as long as they don’t have sauce. Ds3 was in between his brothers except he’s a meat lover. We used to joke that between the 3 boys they ate a very balanced diet.
We’ve always tried to not make dinner time a battle. And we’ve always respected that there are some foods that they just don’t like. We also worked on teaching them from a young age the whys behind what we eat. I think all my boys have healthy relationships with food. We don’t have dessert every night, but we also don’t save it only for special occasions. All 3 are healthy, if on the slender (or even very slender) side of things but their doctors are not at all concerned about it.
Your doctor’s comment is weird.
Your one year old is one. If he wants to eat extra meat and is underweight, why not let him?
One of the things I deeply resented when growing up was being treated like a sedentary adult when I was a very active kid. No, a second Entemman’s doughnut is not a sign that I will be “fat when I grow up” if I “keep eating like that” – it was a sign that I had burned about 4,000 calories at track practice alone the previous week and needed fuel.
When your kid is a bit older, push the fruits and veggies. For now, he’s one and underweight.
I don’t love the title, but the book is a miracle: How to Get Your Kid to Eat: But Not Too Much by Ellyn Satter. It’s the only parenting book that has truly deeply changed some aspect of our family life.
I decided to let my kids kind of free range feed. I have always made sure we have three squares (family dinner is particularly important) but there is always fruit, crackers, pretzels, peanut butter, etc for them to snack on if they’re hungry between meals. I’m not restrictive about when they snack or what they snack on.
I’ve always struggled with my weight. My husband has always been a normal weight.
My kids are both teens now. One seems to be naturally thin. One is slightly chubby. The naturally thin one, my daughter, seems to have worse eating habits than my chubby guy but she just doesn’t get chubby.
I really think so much of body shape is genetically predetermined, just like their personalities.
My dentist of all people warned us against “free range feeding.” It’s the first I’d head of it. Did your kids have any majorly noteworthy dental issues?
She told us basically limit juice, sticky snacks (fruit snacks, tootsie rolls, etc) and avoid grazing.
No dental problems unless you count two rounds of braces (ugh $$$) for my daughter! Which is also genetic, I had the same.
WHAT. That’s crazy. I have one skinny kid, one average weight kid. The ped looked at my slim husband, then at my skinny kid, and said, “Yep.” That’s genetics. I put on weight after years of relatively slimness because I never had any conversations about quality and quantity of food (the 80s and 90s were so low-fat-focused, that’s all I ever heard). I lost it when I started thinking about what my body needs to stay strong and function well.
In our house, we prioritize real food. The kids do have sweets, but we make them. There is no soda or grabbing a candy bar from the checkout aisle, and because there never has been it doesn’t occur to them to ask for it or expect it. The older one did beg for pop tarts, so we made them. If we can make it, they can have it, but the reality is that it ends up being a weekend thing. There’s still sugar in that stuff, but I like to think it has directed them away from the idea of an instant fix and loads of extra chemicals. Ice cream happens, but usually we go for frozen yogurt trips instead.
In general, we talk to the kids about nutrients and energy and growing strong brains and bodies. My husband sat me down once and told me the way I talk about my body was going to harm the kids, especially our daughter. Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to talk about positives, not negatives, with both food and physical appearance. My kids are still growing up, so I can’t say if it’s been effective, but I will say I have nearly 8 years under my parenting belt, and the idea of dooming a 1 year old to obesity for anything short of giving him have soda and *daily* fast food is nuts. Nuts!
On the underweight part, offering frequent amounts of high quality and high caloric foods will help. Great that he eats meats as that is a real struggle with my toddler. High fat yoghurt with a bit of granola (Liberte makes a 10% one that is so good!) and oatmeal made with full fat milk instead of water are good morning options. bite sized pastas with tomato cream sauce is an easy dinner (cream, can of tomatoes. onions/carrots in food processor, then heat). Offer solids at least five times a day or more (meals plus morning snack and afternoon snack). My toddler prefers canned fruit over fresh because it’s softer (e.g. peaches). Buy the packed in fruit juice ones (pack in water have artificial sweetener added). cut up fruit into pieces he can feed himself. broccoli is another easy to hold and eat option. At one my toddler wanted to feed himself and finger foods were much preferred over being spoon fed.
I’ll give a differing anecdote. I was the eldest child so my parents were very “eat your veggies” with me. My sibling, the youngest child, didn’t have that expectation to eat veggies. As adults my kitchen is full of veggies, sibling’s kitchen is full of processed junk food. I’m healthy, sibling is “skinny fat” slender but absolutely no muscle tone or endurance. I’m almost positive that is a result of our parents using differing parenting styles on us. (To be fair I think my parents were just so worn out by child two they didn’t want to face the veggie fight and just gave up)
I was once told my a weird substitute teacher in high school that because I was a skinny kid I would “balloon out” as an adult (I think those may have been his exact words, in fact). So, your ped and my skeazy teacher, right up there.
Read something by Ellyn Satter. Her books are about children and food and they are amazing.
Ped sounds weird.
I don’t have a magic bullet, but this is (mostly) working for us; YMMV: We serve at least 2 fruits or veggies at every meal. We do allow kids to pick what they eat – one will eat carrots, one loves cucumbers, one cannot stand tomatoes…as long as there is something they will eat on the plate I don’t care if they deconstruct the salad. We taught them “anytime foods” and “sometimes foods;” I think we stole that line from Sesame street. Any fruit or veggie anytime. Cheese sticks anytime. Cereal anytime. Triscuits and applesauce; fine. (We don’t buy chips or sugary cereals, so those aren’t available). Eating only in the kitchen or dining room, not in front of computer or TV. (Popcorn family movie night is ok, though; special event rules.) Three nights a week are “fruit nights” for dessert; that could be a pile of strawberries or canned peaches or whatever is on hand. Other nights can be candy, cookies, ice cream, etc but they have specific portions allowed. I will sometimes drizzle fruit with chocolate or condensed milk on a fruit night if we have it and they ask for it; more about getting the nutrients and not just carbs than an issue of sugar (fruit is high sugar too). I have two slender kids and one who is normal weight but loves loves loves food and would have thirds if allowed. We are working on teaching her portion size and when she can/cannot have second helpings and that she needs to give her stomach time to tell her brain she’s full. (small portions of more protein is fine, more salad is always fine, maybe a little more spaghetti but after 20 mins) I praise her lavishly for her willingness to try new foods and tell her that I love that she loves food; we discuss together the importance of making good choices for our bodies. We often cook together so she knows how to make good-for-her food. We also bake together, though, because cookies are also delicious and it’s great to be able to bake a cake…but not good to eat it all at once.
I was underweight growing up and am now a healthy weight. I recall that when we were younger, desserts and sweets were only for special occasions only – but we could always eat one junk food item for snack at school for lunch (so it was often a juice/water, healthy-ish sandwich, and junk food item probably from Costco) and one junk food item for snack after school. For meals, though, our family typically prepared meals family style, so we always had to eat some veggies to balance out the carbs – and we always had a plate of fruit after dinner. Our parents often told us we should finish the food we have but did not force us to finish if we were already full.I don’t overeat on junk food or sweets nowadays but do treat desserts as rewards (but portion it so I don’t eat a lot of it at once). I think it has not had a negative effect on me, though I do notice that as I grew older, I started to be more aware of eating healthy foods and to eat sweets and fried foods and junk foods only on occasion.
Besides when I was a baby and toddler my hair has been midway down my back. It’s mostly straight and all one length with no layers. I was never allowed to cut it and when I was 12 my mom “encouraged” me to dye it blonde, a process I’ve kept up for 12 years.
Recently I decided that I’ve has enough. My hair dryer broke and it was kind of the straw that broke the camels back. The upkeep was annoying. The expense of getting it dyed every three weeks was a lot. I was constantly shedding and finding hair in the drain. Plus there was all of the time I had to spend in salons and taking care of it at home. I couldn’t wash it in the morning because it took over an hour to blow dry and all day to air dry as it’s so thick (and I live in a place where the temperatures go below freezing in the winter so I can’t go out with wet hair). Needing an expensive hair dryer, straightener and drawers full of salon hair products was another hit to my wallet as well.
This weekend I either tossed or gave all my hair products, tools, hair ties, clips and everything else. I cancelled my appointment at the expensive salon across town and chose less expensive but well reviewed salon near my place. I had it dyed to match the natural color of my roots and chopped into an Emma Watson style pixie. The only hair stuff I have in my entire apartment now are shampoo and conditioner from the drug store (not the salon) a basic hair dryer, some styling wax and a comb.
I feel so liberated and wish I had done this years ago. I feel so stupid for saying this but the amount I feel my mood and mental health has improved from this is astronomical. I can’t believe a haircut can change me so much. I feel great. Happy Monday everyone.
just wow!
Congrats!
A huge way to go! Excellent decision . Congratulations on making yourself happier and hassle free! Short hair rules. :-)
CONGRATULATIONS! It’s amazing how our hair can be such a weight on our personalities and how much baggage our parent’s views of our hair can shape it.
My parents always told me I needed blonde hair, so for years I bleached the hell out of it. I hated it, but I thought that’s what I “should” do. I finally gave up, embraced dark color, and was so much happier.
I’m so pumped for you. Congrats on freeing yourself from straight irons!
Congratulations! It doesn’t sound stupid at all: you spent a lot of time and money on something that you didn’t like.
(A slight tangent: beyond “clean” and “brushed,” I cannot understand why parents make hair into a fight, especially with teenagers or middle schoolers. I can understand telling the college senior to ditch the purple and blue hair dye before a big interview, but, ugh. I’m in my mid-thirties and still want to curl up in a ball when I think about the hair wars.)
+1. I don’t get the hair battles either bud my boys wanted to do something totally crazy with their hair is 100% support them. It’s only hair! And experimenting when you’re young is the best time to do it. Alas, none of them want to grow or dye their hair. Sometimes they don’t even want to comb it. None of them even want to use hair products! I think it’s a little strange, tbh. They are 10-16yo. I’m also a little surprised at how many commenters are saying their parents told them they needed to have blonde hair from a young age. That seems odd to me.
And congrats to the OP! I’m glad you love your hair now!
I was lucky in that my parents didn’t really care what I did with my hair, as long as it was clean and neat. Of course, when I had terrible frizz in middle school, my dad would get frustrated with me because he thought my hair was always messy and I distinctly remember him saying things like “go brush your hair, it’s a mess!” or “why is your hair always messy?” And then he didn’t get why I rocked a gelled ponytail for a whole summer . . .
But it was my friends who kept telling me what I should and shouldn’t do with my hair, and it drove me batty. Hair always down? “you should wear your hair up more!” Hair up most of the time? “you should wear your hair down more!” When I’d grown out my shoulder length hair, people started getting on my case about how I needed to get a bob and donate my hair, because it would look so much better short and it was selfish of me to keep all of that hair when some kids didn’t have any. Part of my kept my hair long to rebel against everyone telling me to cut it, and the general trend of society telling women they should be constantly changing their hair to reflect the latest trends.
In college, people would insist my hair should be red, but I held off because while I wanted that red, I wanted to find just the right shade. When I finally dyed it red, this guy I was dating told me it looked good, but I really should try blonde hair now.
Now that my hair is short, I’m sure people will eventually start telling me I’d be so much prettier if I grew it back out, but right now most people seem to be digging my hair the way it is, which is awesome.
“When I’d grown out my shoulder length hair, people started getting on my case about how I needed to get a bob and donate my hair, because it would look so much better short and it was selfish of me to keep all of that hair when some kids didn’t have any. ”
I got that a lot when I had hip-length, thick hair. Even strangers would walk up to me and tell me to donate it. Suffice to say, I hated it, and hated the implication that I didn’t deserve my own hair.
Add in the pressure from one parent to cut it into a “cute” bob and dye it “platinum blonde,” and, yeah.
I truly do not understand how parents, especially mothers, expect that their daughters will form healthy relationships with men (or women, if that’s how they roll) when the daughters spent their formative years basically being told that their bodies are ornamental and not theirs to do with what they want.
Wow, good for you! It’s crazy how much hair can be an emotional thing for women. I feel ya.
Awesome! Were you the poster looking for pixie examples last week? Glad you went for it and are happy.
Hooray, sounds awesome! And reminds me that I need to find a stylist in my new city…not going for a pixie but my hair is pretty blah right now, and what a great reminder that I need to freshen it up!
It’s so weird how odd parents can be about their children’s hair. My mother was the opposite. She told me I “only look good with short hair”.
Good for you! Short hair does rule. I never get why people want to spend so much time and money on hair, when you don’t have to.
Thanks everyone. Your kind words are appreciated.
I don’t post on Facebook but I have a private profile so I can keep up with family stuff and see pictures of my younger cousins and nieces and nephews. I just changed my picture to one of me with my new haircut. My parents have seen it. Apparently they are very upset and I’m expecting to get a call from my mom soon. I don’t get why my parents think they can still tell me what to do with my hair. I haven’t lived with them or gotten money from them since I was 18. I can’t wait for her head to explode when she starts to lecture me about how I’ll never find a husband now and I tell her that a guy on the train this morning complimented my hair and asked for my number and we are meeting up for coffee later this week.
Congrats on making the decision and good for you! Good luck with the guy. (You’re parents – whatevs; they can deal.)
Are you Rapunzel?
How do you answer the question “Tell me about yourself?” in an interview?
I take this generally to be one of two actual questions:
a) give me a 30 second pitch on why your background is a fit with this specific job
b) give me a quick chronological rundown of your schooling and experience.
You have to gauge the situation in terms of time and where it comes in the interview, but I have often heard that a) is more effective when it comes to landing the job.
+1
I normally do (b) but I feel like (a) is much more effective if you can do it.
I use b) to explain a).
I agree that it’s usually a call for your elevator pitch.
Depends when this is asked. If it’s one of the first questions, then I agree with MJ. If it’s asked toward the end of the interview after you’ve covered the professional stuff, they want to know if you’re a fun and interesting person outside the office. Topics that have gone over well for me in interviews: anything local to show you’re tied to the area – new restaurants/bars/anything on the arts or music scene, food, craft beer, whiskey, being interested in wine but stating that I am still learning (even though I know a good deal about wine – plenty of people know WAY more), short vacations to local-ish destinations (proceed with caution re: international travel), music, concerts, and sports to a way lesser extent (because I’m not a sports person, but if you are then that’s an easy in).
It’s generally the first question I get, so I use it to explain a bit of my professional life story (2-3 minutes tops). I find it necessary to do this because I haven’t had a linear path at all, and hearing the story helps the interviewers learn my background.
Thought this article on diversity in tech/ raising money as a startup founder when you’re pg was interesting. Enjoy.
http://nyti.ms/1RvCG7e
Saw that this weekend. I actually didn’t like the article. Thought it painted this women in a poor light. Made her look entitled and whiny and disorganized when I doubt she’s anything of the kind. Worst part was when it basically said she had mommy-itis and decided to drop all her startup plans because, well, babies. Not a great pro-women message.
I agree with this point of view. When women who are smart, driven, and have great ideas decide to walk away from it all when they have a baby, it reinforces the message to employers everywhere that you shouldn’t hire women because they are going to get pregnant and leave. Many of us will be going right back to work full time and will be fully committed to our careers, but many of us have also been subjected to that perception/fear that is spread from stories like this one. Nytimes, you can do better than this!
Agree it left me a little hollow, but I still thought the coverage was unusual for the Times.
And I also agree that 90% of stories on startups are “rah-rah” and this one emphasized the failure part of it, which is often downplayed in favor of unicorns, etc.
I feel like she must read here because she has that fugly Lo and Sons bag.
Just wanted to say thank you for the rec for the Farm House in Nashville! It was the best meal of our trip, and one of the best meals I’ve ever had. Locals – you should go there if you haven’t already.
YAY! I’m so glad you liked it. My mom and I still talk about how good it was.
Yessss I love that place! So many good cheeses.
What else did you like in Nashville? Going in a few weeks & would love reccs!
Sorry, I just saw this! We ate dinners at Hattie B’s, The Farm House, and The Row, and breakfasts at Southern Steak and Oyster, Biscuit Love, and Monell’s. I really enjoyed and would recommend every single place, although I’m not sure Biscuit Love is worth braving the lines for (there was a long line even though we were there on a weekday). Hattie B’s has long lines too, but is more unique and worth it IMO. The rest of them take reservations or had no wait. I really wanted to go to Loveless Cafe and Arnold’s but couldn’t fit them into the itinerary. (Obviously Nashville has more than just Southern food but that was the focus of our trip, since I love it and good Southern food is hard to get in our area). It’s a fun city! We also saw a show at the Grand Ole Opry, which is a really fun experience if you’re at all a country music fan.
Ugh. I can maintain a good plank for a while. But my skin (south of the belly button) just hangs down looking very very sorry. A tummy tuck (or a shirt) is the only fix, right?
The tummy tuck ain’t happening. The flappy skin is a surprise (will not workout in just a bra top again), but I didn’t realize this and it is (ahem) a bedroom look that now I’m not a fan of (am otherwise a person who is very, very OK in her skin).
FWIW, except when pregnant, I’ve been the same weight for about 20 years and am otherwise trim (but with hips / thighs).
Do you do any weight lifting? When I lost a good amount of weight, I had some saggy loose skin in the belly. I know you said you’ve been the same weight, but if you don’t do weights, over time the skin can become a bit loose.
All-over strength training with heavy weights and crunches helped the skin bounce back for me, no tummy tuck needed!
Not really. I have dumbbells (7 pounds?) and do squats and stairs a lot. Arms are tight — yay! I’m mainly a tennis player but am basically just a person who is older and sits all day at work. Legs are pretty firm. I usually have to have my pants taken in due to having a small waist for my hips.
Were you thinking overall strength training or some sort of other lifting? More saggy planks (which I can do, maybe in just a bra for motivation).
Yeah, weight training can make a huge difference. Planks and things that use your body strength are great, but heavy weights can really make a huge difference in your skin’s tightness.
7 pound dumbbells won’t cut it–I used heavy weight machines for full-body workouts: i.e. squatting more than my body weight, bench presses, weighted crunches, etc. Working the whole body made mys kin all over tighten up, but especially in my stomach.
Thanks — I can only up the reps (and get the 10-pound weights from the garage) due to the FT-work-with-kids vortex (so what I can do at home, I do at home and can make it to a real gym maybe ever other weekend). But this gives me hope of how to get to better.
Don’t underestimate the power of home-based items! When I was broke and couldn’t afford a gym membership, sacks of potatoes, gallon jugs filled with coins, etc all served as my preliminary weights.
I’ve been liftin weights heavy for a couple of years and still have loose skin that hangs when I plank. My abs are pretty good. I blame the skin on having 3 babies. My youngest is 10yo now and I was huge when pregnant with him (I had a stranger once argue with me when my due date was, and the told me I must be expecting twins then because I was so big).
If your issue is just he loose skin, I think that’s genetic on whether it will tighten or not over time. You might be stuck with it.
Sorry, but this is just age and kids. For some of us just age.
Ugh. Totally feel you on this. In my case, it is 100% a result of a twin pregnancy. My only suggestion is a pair of highrise exercise pants with support and tight enough shirt. I notice it through the neckline of my shirt. I’m really trying to practice radical body acceptance as I know I will not get surgery for it (the c-section was bad enough).
In my case, I don’t think it’s something weights can cure.
Another twin mom here. Yes, I had heard of “twin skin” before but now I’m intimately familiar with it. I won’t be doing surgery either. The only change I made was getting a swim shirt to wear over my bikini. But whenever I start feeling depressed about it, I am reminded that I went through a lot and I should consider the stretchmarks and extra skin a badge of honor.
If it’s below your belly button, just wear high-waisted pants. Done. And don’t plank naked.. or just dim the lights. But seriously, your pants should cover it. Low-rise pants aren’t in style right now anyway.
Nordstrom personal shopper – worth it? I have a fall and winter wardrobe that I love, but I can’t seem to put together a spring/summer wardrobe to save my life. I want to invest in some quality go-to pieces that will serve me well. I could of course watch Pinterest/blogs, make a list of basics and go from there, but I’m wondering if an outside perspective on my body and style could help – especially since this seems to be a recurring wardrobe issue for me.
I’m also really bad with date night – I have a pretty corporate style and could use some help injecting some fun. Bonus if anyone is in the DC area and has worked with someone they like.
It’s free and they tend to not pressure you much, so definitely worth a try!
I did the Nordstrom personal shopper thing in the DC area and didn’t have a great experience. I then did Trunk Club, where you fill out some info in advance and then go into their second floor storefront in Penn Quarter to try on clothes, and it was AWESOME. The first time I only liked a few things (I’m pretty particular), and I gave the stylist a lot of feedback about exactly what I did and did not like. The second time it was like looking in my own closet. She got it exactly right and I came out with 4 work dresses, a fun dress, a suit, jeans, a blazer to wear with dresses, a couple tops, and a comfortable stylish pair of shoes. They also have a tailor there who will pin clothing as you’re trying it on and then they do the alterations for free or very cheap. The stylist I used was Kelsey Pinker and I can’t say enough good things about her.
Thanks! I’d never heard about this – definitely checking it out. Which Nordstrom did you try for the personal shopper, if you don’t mind saying?
I’ve tried both Montgomery Mall and Pentagon City.
I would love to know more as well! I didn’t realize that Trunk Club had an in person option in DC. Do you fill out a detailed questionairre beforehand so the stylist knows what you are seeking? How much were the clothes, per piece? What is their return policy like? Thanks!
As for Nordstrom, I had a very good experience (not in DC, in another city). I was very specific in what i was looking for and got exactly what I wanted. I love shopping in general but there were certain things I wasn’t able to find on my own (ie: for me it was comfortable flats, skinny jeans, and work tops). It’s free so there isn’t a lot to lose either way.
I will say, however, that I ended up buying several items full price through the stylist and when they later went on sale, I wasn’t able to get a price adjustment because it was several months after. So be warned.
Yes, I filled out a detailed questionnaire ahead of time. The clothes are the same price as Nordstrom (e.g., I got a Halogen blazer that was $95 and a Boss dress that was $350). The questionnaire will ask your price range, and I found that my stylist was pretty good about sticking to it.
Appreciate your help, DC anon!
Free! Try it. Also, there is a way for you to add items to your online list and for them to pull that item for you. Saves you some time from hunting stuff down in the store and they get an idea for what you like.
I just did it in Pittsburgh and loved it. I walked away with some great stuff and didn’t feel any pressure to buy. Plus, it was helpful to have someone there to get a second opinion. It’s free, so why not?
Totally worth it! It’s free and they will work with you to find stuff that suits you.
Does anyone in Tampa area have a particular person at Nordstrom they’ve used and liked? A good friend of mine has used this service but didn’t like the stylist/shopper.
I would say try again. I used two at Nordstrom and liked them both a lot. I just don’t remember their names off hand.
Thanks, everyone!
Ladies, I didn’t see the request for my book list until this morning so I’m posting it in this thread, as well as in the Weekend thread:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/15HuQqL9wxxwu5PxaRQWA7KPsKEACWYol3oW94LOjpSw/edit?usp=sharing
Thanks!
Thanks! Love your book lists.
For anyone who has refinanced with Sofi, how long did the process of paying off your previous servicer take once you signed the loan document?
A little over a week maybe?
1-1.5 weeks for me.
I think a week or two for the payment to get there, though Sallie Mae messed up the attribution (I was only refinancing part), which took a call with SoFi on the line to fix.
2 weeks.
Oscar dress thoughts? Let’s vote, ladies……
I’ll go first:
Best: Saoirse Ronan and Cate Blanchett. Also liked Alicia Vikander.
Worst: there were many but I am going to pick the A listers who flopped here as they have so many choices to start with so fewer excuses….Kate Winslett and Rooney Mara
Most Boring: Julianne Moore and Charlize Theron
Best:
Seconding Saoirse — that was a gorgeous color and fit perfectly.
Meh:
Brie Larson — people seemed to love this one, but it didn’t read sophisticated to me. I would have loved to see that jeweled belt on something more structured.
Rachel McAdams — must have been pissed when she saw Saoirse pulled off the slinky minimalistic green way better than she did.
Reese Witherspoon — was that a Zac Posen? It looked stiff and overworked. Tina Fey’s purple column worked better, IMO.
Biggest surprise:
Sofia Vergara, who normally I just skim by, managed to translate her mermaid obsession into a really flattering gown (plus with hair up, which I believe she rather emphatically said she would never do in the past).
Worst:
Heidi Klum — so much WTF.
Kate Winslet — oof.
Reese was Oscar de la Renta, per her Insta. I did not like it at all. Agree that Tina Fey’s purple column was better.
I loved the top of Brie Larson’s, but it lost me in the middle with the belt.
I liked Saoirse, Cate Blanchett, Charlize, Sofia Vergara, Sarah Silverman, Olivia Wilde, Naomi Watts and Jennifer Garner (WHY was she there? Girlfriend hasn’t worked as an actress, let alone in Oscar-type movies, in years) but didn’t LOVE any of them. I think my favorite gown might have been Alicia Vikander’s mom’s gown.
I didn’t hate Kate Winslet’s but thought it was meh. Also didn’t hate Heidi Klum’s dress although it was too much. I think I would have really liked it without the sleeve.
I hated Kerry Washington’s dress.
Mindy Kaling looked like a stuffed sausage, and I’m normally a big fan of her looks (and think she’s gorgeous).
Amy Poehler was a trainwreck.
This is so mean spirited!!!!
Come on…. This is a fun fashion blog.
Every time we discuss red carpet fashion, someone comes on and says this exact same thing. Celebrities spend a TON of money and stress trying to craft the perfect image to sell the public on nights like this. This is not a tabloid posting pics of some celeb out picking up her drycleaning in lulu and circling her fat (although I am willing to bet a ton of those shots are pre-arranged, too). We, the public, are entitled to react.
Also inaccurate. Jennifer Garner has been working consistently. Re: oscar-type movies, she was in Dallas Buyers Club in 2013. She also was in Draft Day with Kevin Costner and Danny Collins with Al Pacino and Annette Bening. All within the last 2-3 years.
Eh, the only one of those that was Oscar worthy was Dallas Buyers Club, and her parts in all those movies were small. She’s still a working actress but I feel like her star wattage has fallen considerably and does not have the same level of success as just about everyone else who presents at and attends the Oscars. The people who present at the Oscars are mostly critical darlings or “leading lady” types like Reese Witherspoon, and she is neither. Not saying she is not talented or that this is fair, but at this point she is most famous for being married and then not married to Ben Affleck.
But there were a ton of presenters who are not regularly in Oscar-worthy movies. I don’t understand the hate for Jennifer Garner. Please tell me the “Oscar” relevance of: Sofia Vergara, Olivia Munn, Sarah Silverman, Sacha Baron Cohen and Louis C.K.
I don’t hate Jennifer Garner! I loved Alias and would be happy to see her headline a movie. Doesn’t change the fact that she has not done so in a long, long time. Sofia Vergara and Sarah Silverman starred in movies this year (Sofia’s was not a great or successful movie, but she’s also a major TV star and she’s married to the star of Magic Mike, which was a big box office success). Olivia Munn is a major celebrity in the scifi community and headlined the sci-tech Oscars which was why she was at the real Oscars.
Sacha Baron Cohen and Louis CK are random, I agree, but awards shows always have lots of comedians to do little stand-up bits and I don’t think they go to the Oscars every year like Jennifer Garner. Louis is also the star of a currently-airing critically acclaimed show, and SBC’s movies (although not to my taste) are way bigger than any movie Garner has done.
My comment was not so much that it was crazy to see her there once but that I don’t understand why she’s there year after year. She is as much of an awards show staple as people like Reese Witherspoon, Kate Winslet, Jennifer Lawrence and Cate Blanchett and those people have all been nominated and have headlined major movies recently.
I’m embarrassed that I know this, but Sofia Veraga isn’t married to Tatum Channing. Jenna Channing is. And Sofia Veraga looked incredible and I love Jennifer Garner.
Louis CK was in Blue Jasmine a couple of years ago.
Sofia Vergara is married to Joe Manganiello (sp?) who was also in Magic Mike, albeit maybe not the “star.”
Best: Naomi Watts and Alicia Vikander
Worst: Charlize Theron, Olivia Wilde and Jennifer Lawrence
Everyone else… Meh
A lot of people seem to have loved Charlize’s dress but I thought it was not very flattering on her – she is obviously a beautiful lady and has a phenomenal body, but to me that dress made her look much wider on top than she is.
The after-party (Vanity Fair) dresses were amazing. I love Gwen Stefani, Elizabeth Banks, Hilary Swank, and Marisa Tomei.
I didn’t watch all of the show but my husband called me in to watch two parts – Lady Gaga’s number (amazing) and “Ali G” presenting (love him).
I am really so over those dresses that basically show the whole boob save the n ipple. Olivia Wilde I’m looking at you. And I’m looking at more of you than I want to see.
Looking at a slide show on HuffPo this morning I like Patricia Arquette, Sofia Veraga, Olivia Munn, Isla Fisher, Mindy Kaling, Alicia Vikander (though I don’t know who she is) and J Law. I understand Amy Poehler is taking some heat over her kimono dress but I like it, and I would wear something like that if I could. (I imagine having a soirée at my home and meeting everyone at the door with air kisses and coupes of champagne)
Best – Jennifer Garner, Saoirse
Best Accessory – Kate Winslet (Leo!)
Did not Love – Jennifer Lawrence, Alicia Vikander, Kerry Washington, Daisy Ridley
Worst – Lady Gaga, Heidi Klum (speaking of “why was she at the Oscars??”), Priyanka Chopra (not appropriate for Oscars), Amy Poehler
My favorite presenters were Ryan Gosling & Russell Crowe.
I didn’t get all the love for Lady Gaga’s song, it sounded like a hot mess to me.
I don’t understand why Priyanka’s gown was inappropriate for the Oscars. I feel like I can see through it a bit, is that why or another reason? I don’t love it either, just curious.
And while I thought Gaga’s song could have been performed a tad better, I still thought she did a very real/emotional portrayal of a song with a super important message.
Any ‘rettes in Quebec City? I’m investigating a potential job offer there and would love to hear more about the city, since I didn’t even know it existed until yesterday (geography fail!) I like what I see based off preliminary googling, but I’d love any personal anecdotes/advice.
Not in QC but I have lived there for a few months about 15 years ago. It’s a beautiful city – very historic but very Francophone. It’s touristy enough that you could probably get by if you’re unilingual but it’s not like Montreal in terms of bilingualism. Relatively good air connections to USA I think but not great to Europe – you’d have to go through MTL/TO for everything.
QC has public daycare – $7/day but not sure what waitlists are like.
It’s now $20/day for income over $150K
I should explain that I speak French and in fact will be thrilled to live somewhere Francophone!
Also, no kids (and no plans to) so daycare is not an issue. I’m more curious about what the arts/culture scene is like- I’m not big on clubs and don’t eat out much (yay vegetarianism) so that’s not as much of a concern.
They have a very strong francophone arts scene, thanks to it being the provincial capital. There’s a big winter festival (whose name escapes me at the moment) and then concert series outside in the summer. I’ve only visited for the weekend but have the impression of it being a fun place to live. Be prepared for intense winters though! In the summer you can continue up the coast to the Charlevoix region and go whale watching!
LOVE Charlevoix! One of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited and totally low key / unknown.
I don’t live there, but have visited many times. Love it.
What kind of French do you speak? Quebec French is quite different, there would be a bit of a learning curve, but I love learning, so that would be fun for me.
It is a very “European” city in many ways. Historic, walled, lots of tourists.
I am vegetarian, never had any trouble eating out there. Lovely lovely restaurants.
Well traditional food is very meat and potatoes heavy (like tortiere) so not great for vegetarians. There are lots of modern, farm to table type places too though that are great for vegetarians. The city looks old but lots of it was actually rebuilt, most of the original buildings got destroyed in wars with the US. The traffic laws are different so be sure you learn them, like mandatory winter tires. Be sure you can drive in real snow, it’s cold and snowy like none other and the city doesn’t shut down very often like they do in the US. They don’t really speak French so much as Quebecois, there are moments where you will be absolutely bewildered because some words vary so widely. It’s absolutely beautiful, on the water, with a reasonably low cost of living (maybe mid cost of living). The monks in the country side make the best bread and cheese and honey, plus local produce is awesome. It’s one of my favorite places ever.
Ladies, how should a junior associate deal with being asked to do something they are completely unqualified to do and for which there will be no senior supervision? Here’s the situation: Transactional practice, client has heard about forming a certain kind of entity under Statute X. Statute X shares the same number as a well-known statute in my practice area, so Partner thinks this is totally in my wheelhouse. I had never heard of this type of entity, so I did some background research and found that Statute X is actually from a completely different area of law (incidentally, HIS practice area) that I have no experience in. I tell this to partner and he responds “I have no knowledge of Statute X. Work directly with Client on this.” I have told Partner that the statute is not what he thinks it is, that it is not within my practice area, that it is within his practice area, and that I have no experience with it. He wants me to do it anyway, even though this means there is no one at the firm who I will be able to consult with on it or who will review my work. I do not feel comfortable with this, but I’m not really sure how to handle considering what I’ve already told him and his response.
For background, this is a midsize firm that considers itself “full service” (despite consultants hired by the firm telling the management committee that the firm is actually too small to be full service) and the partners are incredibly reluctant to refer out work that we are not competent to perform.
Step 1: Document. Write a short internal memo to Partner outlining Statute X and why it’s different from the statute in your practice area. Explain how that makes it different from the deal.
Step 2: Do what you can to find someone, anyone, in your firm with experience in Statute X. It can be in a different office or different practice area. If you find someone, inform Partner that you will be collaborating with So-and-So, who has experience with Statute X that will add value to the project etc etc.
Step 3: Do your best and force senior supervision. Copy Partner on EVERYTHING. If you have questions, write an internal memo or email re: your analysis of such-and-such aspect of Statute X and ask Partner to weigh in. Send any work product to Partner in advance, even if you suspect s/he won’t review it. It sounds like you’re stuck with this project, so CYA and view it as an opportunity to learn a new area.
Co-sign all of this. Ugh, why do partners do this? Don’t skip step 2. Good luck.
I agree with this, but I would skip Step 1. You’ve already raised your concerns with him, and he told you to go forward, knowing you are a competent lawyer who will figure it out (even if it takes you longer than it “should” — but that’s his problem). Also, don’t be shy to ask him (smart, targeted) questions (ones you still have after doing a bit of research to answer on your own) since this is his area of expertise.
Step 1 is only to put your concerns in writing to CYA. It might help get his attention if/when he has more time to consider it, but I’m not optimistic about that. I’m also not optimistic that he’s going to remember the details of the concerns you raised with him, so I wouldn’t skip Step 1.
+1. Step 1 is absolutely critical for your own CYA.
Not a transactional attorney but this sounds similar to my experience in midlaw. Some matters are sink or swim. You just have to do it. Of course, “Work directly with the client” doesn’t mean “Don’t cc me on emails or involve me whatsoever”. You should absolutely copy the partner on everything. But to some extent, being in a “full service mid-sized firm” means that you’re going to advise clients on issues that you (like everyone else in your firm) have little to no experience with.
Most senior partners are so far removed from the law that they are a legal malpractice suit waiting to happen. When I was a newly minted JD, a senior partner asked me to draft a motion to dismiss overnight in a jurisdiction I was not admitted in, based on facts I was completely unfamiliar with. There were ample people who knew the facts and were admitted who could have helped, but he wanted to “test” me by making me do it in a vacuum. I got no help and was a nervous mess the next day.
If clients knew how often partners “test” associates with assignments like this, they would find new legal counsel.
Out of curiousity, how did things end up going at that firm, and with that partner?
I am not an attorney, but have had a similar experience with a senior man in my department who insisted that I cover for him while he was on vacation for 2 weeks. He had given me no background and did NOT share his files with me before he went away. Yet, about 5 clients got my telephone number and called me incessantly while he was away. He did NOT give me a number to call. Men can be the ultimate urethras at times. And they call us uterine heads?
Agree with the advice you’ve received already, but after this project is over, consider switching firms. I was in Midlaw and asked to “dabble” in all kinds of stuff from employment to immigration to banking regulation (yes, I directly advised clients on all of these matters, even though my experience was in a totally different area of practice). I lateralled to a bigger firm where we have specialists and it’s been way better for my piece of mind, and my clients get better and more efficient advice. I’m convinced that lawyers who claim to do anything and everything are not that qualified to do anything really complex.
I wanted to thank the commenters who responded to my post a couple of weeks ago about finding clothes for a Pakistani wedding. I had a great time shopping along Oak Tree Road in NJ and I got everything I needed. The bride is SO excited and grateful that I put in the extra effort; I sent her pictures and she could not stop gushing. Thank you all so much for your help!
Anyone of you ladies work in the Charlotte area? I’m looking to get out of biglaw in a major city due to burn out and wondering what the lifestyle is like in Charlotte. It’s been popping up more and more in recruiter emails.
Yes. But CWT and Mayer Brown are also here, so you can burn out in a lower COL city. Even in the smaller AMLaw 100 and regional firms, some people bill 2500 hours a year, so be clear why a firm might be looking. We have a horrible group that can only lure in strangers since local work-of-mouth is pretty damning.
That said, I walk out the door at 4 and log in after the kids are in bed and only a fool would comment on that to my face. It is CLT, after all.
Yeah, my brother lives in Charlotte and regularly is one of the highest billers in his firm (whoopee!). You certainly can work a ton in CLT. I will say that housing is cheap, there are cool neighborhoods near downtown, people are SO NICE(!), and the food is great. CLT does have biglaw and some pretty large regional firms. My brother is at a regional 500+ attorney firm. He regularly works across from folks in money-centers (and he’s worked in NY too). Lifestyle is somewhat better in CLT, but transactional law is transactional law. (He does bank finance stuff.)
My SIL was in biglaw too and she “retired” when she got pregnant. She’s got a great but busy life chasing after two toddlers and has a ton of friends, is very social. Charlotte always seems super-fun when I visit, except when it’s crazy humid. (I’m from CA, so my view of humidity is skewed.)
Don’t go there if you’re single – it’s awful for highly educated and earning singles. Married is ok but make sure you like the culture bc it is a small city.
I’ve been here a lot time and that was really true a while ago, but I think that it is probably more true now if you are a woman and lateral and you are 35+ (or 40+). Younger CLT is not so different than other places. It may be more married (but not overwhelmingly so) and more likely to have children younger than other places (lower COL, holla!). But I think that that view can be compounded by how overwhelmingly young and male the banks / big4 hires are (and you can see a lot of that uptown at lunchtime). OTOH, it is less player-ish than many other places in a way that maybe the young-married thing is good b/c I found it just a better quality dating pool than my two bigger cities before moving here.
I was so, so, so Bridget Jones when I moved here from DC (and was in NYC before that). Married a fellow transplant. My neighborhood (close in and very fun) is a mix of marrieds, divorced, gay, straight, kids, no kids, singles, empty-nesters, all in cute little houses where we can stagger home from bars / restaurants / brunch places. We all get along. It’s a good place to live.
Anyone have a favorite tea mug? I’m looking for a really nice, big one that has a lid that you can also use as a coaster for a tea bag.
World Market sells infuser mugs with lids (you don’t need to use the infuser) in a variety of pretty designs.
Their “non-paper cups” are pretty, too, though more casual.
I really like my mugs from David’s Tea. I’m kind of obsessed with their flavored teas too.
The David’s Tea mugs are amazing. It was my first thought when I read this.
That looks perfect, thank you!
I have an infuser mug from Aladdin that I like. The infuser is in the lid so you can drop the bag/tea into the water and raise it up when you’re done steeping. It’s this one:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001Q3L9PA/ref=s9_al_bw_g79_i5
http://www.amazon.com/Fred-Friends-TEA-Infuser-Gift/dp/B0144ZNXNW and the associated ones.
Hee hee hee
I use these things with regular mugs: http://www.amazon.com/SDBING-Silicone-Watertight-leakproof-selection/dp/B0111YR7FO/ because I find them adorable. Maybe not at work, though.
Is there any way to regilt costume jewelry?
Anyone have any advice on laddering CDs — or buying municipal bonds? Time frame is 2-3 years for about $200K.
I need a new swimsuit. My family reunion this year is at the lake and the I need something I’d be comfortable wearing in front of my in-laws and nieces and nephews. Definitely need some support up top. Where do y’all go for that kind of suit?
Lands End. Nice quality. Lots of options.
I can vouch for LE. I’ve had their swim t-shirts / rashguards for years and am not gentle on them. They are having a big sale today and I’d stock up if I didn’t have 5 already. They do run large, so I get an XS (even though my DVF size is an 8).
Try HerRoom, especially if you need underwire and/or a large cup with a small band.
LL Bean.
JCrew. Screw Lands End.
I always found JCrew has zero support up top. Have they changed?
I’ve had good luck with several JCrew suits with underwire/bra sizing. DD chest, for reference.
Boden.
Got a super cute one piece with plenty of support there last summer.
Agreed, screw Land’s End. Not shopping there any more.
Boden or Garnet Hill. GH has some really cute suits every year that are not grandmotherly but still one-piece.
Cosign on screw LE.
Title 9 and Athleta had some options if you need something suitable for watersports. I used to love JAG suits, but haven’t looked at them in several years.
I recently heard of Limericki and their suits look promising.
Department stores like Nordstrom (online only) or Lord & Taylor, or Everything But Water. Athleta if you want something solid colored. Don’t shop at Land’s End, their stuff is very mumsy, even if you ignore the Gloria Steinem fiasco.
Panache has bra-sized swimwear for the well endowed. One pieces and two pieces that cover the girls up. I buy mine via Amazon and Bare Necessities.
+1 on bra sized swimwear from Panache, Fantisie, Freya, and other lingerie brands – visit a good bra specialty store to try on in person or order from Lindasonline, Herroom, Bare Necessities, FugLeaves, etc. I’m a 36DDD or 34DDDD and prefer underwire suits.
I actually love Victoria’s Secret for bra-sized bathing suits.
I’m a new convert to Tommy Bahama for different options with underwire and supportive cups (large bust on small frame here, so I have trouble with more standard sizes). I like their solid colors. Mix/match tops and bottoms for the style you like.
Any recommendations for great networking, associations, or other legal groups in the Bay Area?
If you’re interested in environmental issues at all, check out Women’s Environmental Network and Green Drinks.
The Club SV: it’s a group of about 200 women from all experience levels and industries. We have lots and lots of small group programs. It’s a really awesome, welcoming group!
Commonwealth Club (SF, although they do some SV events)
Churchill Club
Junior League of PA/Mid-Peninsula
Palo Alto Menlo Park Parents Club
Dartmouth Club of SV (you can go with any friend that’s a Dartmouth alum, and they do amazing events)
Stanford has a ton of open events – sign up on the GSB FB or Stanford Alumni Assn groups and you will see them all.
Thanks for all the recs!
Had a haircut this weekend. Short bob-ish, not quite pixie for my very straight, very fine, thick hair. The hairdresser used a tool that looks like a wide tooth curved hairbrush, but has heat like a curling iron. In 2 minutes, he created subtle body and lift that was great… especially because it lasted for 3 days. He said it was a relatively new tool, and I could get it at a beauty supply store for $20-80 bucks. But I couldn’t find the same tool locally.
This is likely what my hairdresser used…. but it is pretty pricey. Can anyone who uses something like this and has a cheaper version they like suggest an alternative? It has the bristles only on one side…. not completely around the barrel.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01A659F8G?keywords=paul%20mitchell%20brush%20iron&qid=1456763316&ref_=sr_1_2_a_it&sr=8-2
I use this, but it has bristles all the way around the barrel:
http://www.amazon.com/John-Frieda-Salon-Shape-Brush/dp/B0056GDG90/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1456766195&sr=8-1&keywords=jon+frieda+hot+air+brush
Thanks for this link.
Do you have short or long hair? Your tool is a pretty wide barrel, and wonder if it will be too big for my shorter hair, but I honestly don’t know the size of what my hairdresser used.
Also… is this a hair “dryer” brush? I am looking for something that doesn’t blow air, but something that just heats up like a standard curling iron but has a brush on the end.
I have this one. My mom had it, I used it while visiting her, loved it & bought my own-
http://www.amazon.com/Infiniti-Conair-Tourmaline-Ceramic-Coated-Attachment/dp/B003Q6TC6I/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1456786585&sr=1-4&keywords=infinity+pro+conair
It has a spinning iron thing & a brush thing- no blowing air.
I have long hair normally, but recently had it cut so it’s a little above my shoulders. I still use it. It does blow both hot and cold air. My mother and sister have thin hair and can use it to dry their hair, but my hair is too thick to do so.
I love my Babylis big hair. It’s a heated brush (2 heat settings plus cool) but which rotates in both directions (to avoid tangles). It works fine for hair just below the ear and longer. I’ve also seen a smaller version (32mm vs 42mm) on QVC. It doesn’t dry hair but finishes, smooths and volumizes (once you get the knack of it). The rotating barrel allows a blow dry effect without having to juggle a drier and round brush.
Thanks for your rec. Unfortunately, it looks like this tool is only in the UK right now… how weird.. but I will keep looking.
Ah. I’m in the UK. Didn’t realise it wasn’t available over there.
Justice Thomas broke his 10+ year vow of silence.
http://thehill.com/regulation/court-battles/271140-justice-thomas-breaks-silence-on-supreme-court
I can only assume he’s making up for the lack of Scalia.
Totally due to the fact that it’s leap year day. Won’t happen again for at least 4 years. ;-)
Question and PSA:
I know some of you (SeniorAttorney? Other?) have purchased Betabrands stretch dress pants. Has anyone bought the yoga riding pants? I went ahead and bought them already (because of the discount below) but wondered if anyone else has tried them. I want something I can wear to ride my bike and then in to the office.
PSA: BetaBrands is having a Leap Day 29% off sale with the code “leap29”. I’ve been seeing 20% off and was happy to get the extra 9% plus there is free shipping.
Nope, not me. I’m a BR Sloan lover.
But now you’ve got me interested!
I have the Betabrand dress pant/yoga pants. They are very comfortable, but extremely tight. I normally wear a 10-12 and bought the large, but wish I had bought XL. Even with XL, though, I feel like i need a big sweater or tunic because they are so form fitting. They’re great for travel b/c so comfortable, but definitely would not wear them to court or a more formal occasion.
In the stretch dress pants I wear a L and I’m a size 8. If you’re on the border, size up.
I ‘m not sure about the riding pants, but the dress pants look like regular dress pants on me. I have a pretty straight figure,but I think if they’re black and not super tight, they will work fine. I think Lululemon also used to have similar biking/office pants, not sure if they still do.
Looking for tax accountant recs in Philly who are familiar with trust income/inheritance and self-employment income. TIA!
(And yeah, I know I’m a little late to the party. We got over-ambitious thinking we could navigate this ourselves.)
I’m trying to reign in spending on food and also my diet because it’s atrocious. I’m starting first with breakfast and lunch, because those habits will be easier to change (I think than dinner because I’m single and I have to work up to preparing dinner after a day of work).
Can I get some suggestions on breakfast and lunch items? I have access to a fridge, microwave and toaster.
Also, does anyone have one of those mini crockpots (http://www.amazon.com/Crock-Pot-SCCPLC200-R-20-Ounce-Lunch-Warmer/dp/B006H5V8US/ref=sr_1_4?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1456766419&sr=1-4&keywords=mini+crock+pot)….Curious about if this would help.
I am equally terrible at lunches, but have always brought my own breakfasts:
Oatmeal packet
English muffin w/ PB or other nut butter
Yogurt w/ high fiber cereal mixed in
Breakfast for me is toast or oatmeal every day. Cheap and easy.
For breakfast, I like to do oatmeal in the microwave with cinnamon, pecans, and some kind of fruit (either dried or fresh depending on what I have at the time.) I prep it the night before, then add milk and microwave in the morning. I also sometimes make little egg muffins on the weekend and heat up each day–bake in a muffin tin with whatever veggies, meats, cheeses, herbs you like.
Lunch is sometimes a salad (greek is my current fave, but I also do things like a Mexican inspired one with black beans, cheese, salsa and/or guac on top of lettuce/spinach, or blue cheese, walnuts, strawberries and chickpeas or grilled chicken), sometimes I make a big pot of soup or curried lentils or stir fry and section out each day to bring in sometimes with a side of rice or rice noodles, or a casserole-type dish with black beans, spinach, artichokes and cheese. If I am feeling lazy or short on time I will bring in yogurt, fruit, and nuts (or apple with peanut butter) and keep things like cheese sticks at work and will eat some combination of those for lunch.
Breakfast for me as well is usually oatmeal and blueberries or I get something at the office cafe. If I’m feeling really ambitious over the weekend, I’ll make a batch of breakfast burritos and freeze them.
Lunch is usually leftovers from whatever dinner was that week.
Breakfast is usually an English muffin with PB and fruit or a frozen breakfast from Smart Ones. Lunch is usually an Amy’s frozen meal. I also bring in small bags of popcorn, fruit, yogurt, and nuts for snacks. The frozen meals aren’t ideal but are much healthier and cheaper than eating out.
I wouldn’t want to deal with the lunch warmer – just another thing to clean. Can you go really simple and make yourself a bagged lunch with a sandwich, cut up apple (I bought one of those apple slicers and they work really great) and some other simple stuff (like baby carrots, cheese sticks, maybe hummus packet)? For breakfast, I normally eat cereal or yogurt at home.
For breakfast I’ve been on an avocado-on-English-muffin jag and enjoying it a lot. I also like to make a batch of steel cut oatmeal and divide it into small containers I can take to work and heat up. I like to stir in some chopped nuts and/or raisins/craisins. Another favorite is chopped apple and walnuts stirred into honey flavored Greek yogurt.
For lunch I like frozen entrees from Trader Joe’s. I also like to bring leftovers from dinner.
I’m a fly by the seat of my pants type but I can always remember to grab a yogurt and a granola bar on my way out the door in the morning. I have those two basically on my permanent shopping list so I’m almost always stocked.
Overnight oats are my life, since I have zero time to make breakfast on weekdays mornings. You can google around for ideas. I make them in old peanut jars and batch-prep 2-3 days at a time.
For lunches, I’m currently making a big pot of hearty soup every week, and freezing it into single servings so I can mix up what I bring each day. I cook mostly vegan/vegetarian, so I’m doing a lot of Italian-style bean+veggie soups, Budget Bytes’ sweet potato tortilla soup, and Cookie and Kate’s vegan chili and black bean soup. Other ideas: grain salads + roasted veggies, burrito bowls. Once the spring seasonal veggies start coming in, I’ll swap soups for salads with beans and veggies. Again, prep everything the night before or on a Sunday.
Overnight oats, soup, and an apple or banana (to go with PB that I keep in my desk) go into my lunch bag almost every day.
I LOVE overnight oats. Eat them every day for breakfast.
I make smoothies the night before (usually, a handful of frozen cranberries, some fresh strawberries, 2 heaping tablespoons of non-fat vanilla greek yogurt, a handful of traditional oats, about a teaspoon of agave and some water to thin it). And every few weeks I make either a batch of The Food Lab’s Creamy Parmesan and Broccoli soup or the 15-Minute Quick Pantry Tomato Soup. I then put the soup in individual containers and alternate them for lunch each day.
I’m in the same situation. My solution for lunch is an AGABAG bowl that has 1 cup cooked Grains, 1/2 cup Beans (more if using tofu or other less fatty bean), and 1.5 cups of a Green. I cook a batch of the grain over the weekend and, if using tofu, tofu. Using canned beans and pre-cut veggies, I just assemble the bowl in the morning cold and heat in the microwave over lunch.
I’ve done combinations like: brown rice, black beans, cauliflower; millet, adzuki beans, collard greens; barley, tofu, broccoli; couscous, chickpeas, and kale. Add in some flavorings and you’re good to go.
Budget Bytes is a great site for cheap, easy meals. Not linking bc moderation, but it’s easy enough to find via Google.
Can anyone who has transitioned from working at a law firm to working in-house at a company explain to me how you realized you were ready/needed the change (assuming that you are happy now). Every couple of years, I find myself bouncing from firm to firm and although I suspect that I would be happy somewhere in-house, I am concerned that maybe this is just “me” and that I will always be dissatisfied with my job.
Anyone know of a cotton (or mostly cotton) camisole with built in bra for 32C?
Victoria’s Secret bra tops used to work pretty well for me. Some of them were somewhat low cut, but they were the only ones that had a band small enough with enough room in the cups.
I’m missing a pair of shoes from my line-up: I would like something neutral (black, brown, or cordovan) with a wedge or chunky heel of about 2-3″ that I can wear outside on rainy days. Not a substitute for rain boots, of course, but not so precious/delicate that I worry about getting it wet.
Any ideas? Prefer under $150, standard sizing.
I love Franco Sarto Nolan’s. They are comfortable, sleek and look great with all of my pants. I bought them from amazon.
I love Fidji shoes for this. Amazon has the whole lineup, with some cordovan colored ones on pretty good sale in lucky sizes.
85% of my shoes for work are Fidji. They’re really well-made, have walkable heels and come in interesting styles.
I am not the OP, but thanks for the Fidji suggestion! I’d never heard of them before. I’m looking for some versatile, non-fussy oxfords and it looks like they have lots of options.
I had two different first dates this weekend. I liked one guy more than the other. But of course the guy I liked less is super nice and already sent the first date follow up text, while the guy I liked more has not. Meh.
Classic.
Give Mr. Nice Guy the benefit of the doubt and try him on while you wait for Mr. Delayed Response. You never know – first impressions aren’t always correct!
Agreed!!!!
OP, I went through the exact same thing a year ago, and guess who I’m married to now? Mr. Nice Guy.
Preface: i know we need to talk to an accountant to get a complete picture based on our personal circumstances, but i’d like to do my own diligence first, so looking for resources/suggestions/anecdata on how others have handled this.
I’m getting married in June. I bring ~20k in student loans (down from 205k!) and they’ll be fully paid off by August 2016. Income ~ 200k.
My fiance has roughly 150k in student loans, earns 45k now and for the next 1-2 years, after which his salary will increase by a factor of roughly 2.5x. He is on IBR right now.
For 2016, i think our answer is married filing separately bc he will have been on IBR for half the year. After that, it is less clear if we’d be better off combining and making his fulll loan payments or filing separately to let him stay on IBR. Add to the mix that we want to start trying for a baby as soon as we’re married.
Thoughts and good resources to point me to? I feel like everything i’ve found on the internet is geared towards couples with disparate incomes by maybe 20k and a much smaller student loan balance.
Right away I am ready to do my breakfast, later than having my breakfast coming again to read
additional news.