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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 211 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: One Button Blazer

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Anne Klein One Button BlazerGood morning, sunshine! This blazer is bright, to be sure, but it looks well made and like a fun addition to a wardrobe — I particularly love those darts. I'd probably wear it primarily with navy and gray pieces, but it looks great with white trousers as styled also. I could see it being a lovely topper to a gray-on-gray outfit. It's on sale at both Nordstrom and Amazon for $84.49 (was $169). Anne Klein One Button Blazer Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-3)  

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Comments

  1. AEK

    This yellow’s not for me but I’m on board with bright colors today. I’m wearing a bright coral-ly blazer in protest of yet more rain in Chicago. Of course, mine is wool because it’s also only 40 degrees. (If anyone’s interested, it’s the Pim + Larkin Addison jacket which is on ridculous sale at Piperlime right now.)

    • Cb

      I haven’t been out yet but it doesn’t look very nice outside. On the architectural boat tour this afternoon so I’m hoping it clears up.

      • NOLA

        I hope you get to go! The only time I’ve been in Chicago was April a few years ago. A storm came in on the day we were supposed to go on a dinner cruise. I think just about everybody bailed on it because it looked pretty scary out! I went shopping instead…

        • Cb

          Me too! The back-up plan is the Field Museum (did Science and Industry yesterday). Not sure if Dad is up to shopping although I’m coming from the UK so everything is just. so. cheap.

    • Divaliscious11

      Ugh…this sideways rain!!!!! My boss had an amazing bright pink jacket on yesterday…. Completely digging the color this year….

      I do have a sweater this color… I may wear it tomorrow!

  2. KC

    I think my bright yellow blazer is the happiest thing in my closet. Agree with Kat that yellow looks great with navy, gray and white. I also wear it with pale blue and kelly green in the spring/summer.

    • hellskitchen

      I have a bright yellow cardigan that I wear to death. I really love this blazer and this particular shade of yellow

      • BMBG

        And now I just bought a bright yellow cardigan. Seriously, I have a problem — I want to buy everything in bright yellow this year!

          • Lynnet

            I’m wearing a pair of bright yellow pumps this morning and they are making me so happy!

          • lucy stone

            I had the best pair but wore them so much that I wore a hole through the sole. Let us know if you find a good pair!

          • a passion for fashion

            Highly recoomend the AGL’s — nordstrom has them (most comfortable shoes i own). But if the price tag is too high, nordstrom and zappos had lots to choose from

          • KC

            I’m considering the Cole Haan Air Bacaras, but I’m not sure if I like the lace up back. Have heard great things about their comfort (from everyone from my best friend to my mom!) though. The other option (with a smaller lace up detail) is the Lucky Brand Emmie Ballet Flat. Will probably order both this week to try in person.

        • a passion for fashion

          I am on the same bright yellow kick! I’m also wearing a lovely pair of bright yellow (w/ kelly green lazer cut trim) manolo kitten heels that are about 8 years old but i love them and wear them just a handful of times each year!

          My bright yellow AGL flats arrived yesterday, and I got a lovely yellow creep blouse and skinny yellow patent belt from AT last week. Im also on the hunt for a great, but inexpensive, big yellow bag to use for work this spring/summer.

          I really do wear other colors, but yellow just seems to go so, so well with so many colors

    • CKB

      I’m craving a bright yellow handbag, but am on a shopping freeze for the next 2 months. :(

  3. ohc

    So springy and fun!

    Here’s an immediate food TJ, because y’all always have such great recipe ideas:

    A new friend and I are getting together to make dinner tomorrow night. I’m a decent cook but have been told (by her) that she’s hopeless, so I’d like to make something that has enough moving parts for her to feel like she’s helping. Any ideas? No food restrictions.

    • anonymous

      What about a stromboli or calzone? Depending on what veggies you use, it could involve a lot of chopping. You can make it using pre-made pizza dough, and add a side salad.

    • AIMS

      What about tacos/fajitas? Super easy but enough prep that extra hands are welcome. Plus it’s fun to assemble all the stuff. Last night, SO & I had fish tacos with salsa verde and a radish/scallion salad and it was soooooo good and easy (Martha Stewart recipe), but you will still feel accomplished because you made a sauce, etc. If fish isn’t your thing, you could easily do it with shrimp or sub out chicken and avocados or red peppers.

      • Anon

        Haha, just saw you recommended fajitas at the same time I was typing my recommendation for fajitas!

      • a passion for fashion

        I love the fish taco idea, though I have been using shrimp lately. And last weekend I was out of lettuce, so i used arrugla and it was so delish that I will never go back to regular lettuce. Even the kids ate it! Add some blackbean/mango/corn salsa and you have a simple yet awesome meal. Chicken and avacado version is also tasty.

      • TO Lawyer

        mmm tacos. I can be a decent cook but I like tacos/fajitas because it makes you feel really accomplished and you don’t have to do much plus everything is really easy and yummy. Plus it gives me an excuse to eat my body weight in guac/avocados…

        • a.

          Amen. I’ve been on a big fajita kick recently. Veggies marinated in lime + avocado, tomato, and cilantro salsa + some queso fresco = very happy a.

    • Anon

      Quiche can also involve a lot of chopping of vegetables and is so yummy. Make the pie crust from scratch if you really want to go all out. (I usually use refrigerated, cause I am lazy.)

      Fajitas come together quickly, (I am not a big meat eater, so I make them with portobello mushrooms instead) but there is a lot to do, especially if you do a homemade salsa or pico de gallo and guacamole.

      Spaghetti squash with a homemade marinara sauce and italian sausage is also good and it is kind of fun to “fork” the noodles out of the squash!

    • Diana Barry

      How about a stir-fry that involves chopping a lot of veggies? If you have garlic, ginger, peppers, bok choy, etc., then she can do a lot of chopping while you marinate the meat or whatever. :)

    • Anonymous

      Taco night? Tons of pieces to chop and guacamole is deceptively simple, so she can take it on!

  4. Jacket Fabrics -- Q re Lightweight Wool

    Like the jacket (but haven’t done one-button ones yet), but cannot do that color.

    BUT I do have a jacket question. This jacket is a cotton blend, which I think would be lovely with a lot of spring skirts, which are often cotton or blends. But what about wearing lightweight wool jackets (twill, not flannels or tweeds) with spring skirts? I’m usually a cardigan wearer, but like the look of a jacket, but the fabric difference is throwing me a bit of a learning curve.

    Thoughts?

    • BB

      I think it’s fine if it’s a very lightweight wool. I have a summer blazer that is a linen/silk/wool blend in a khaki color.

    • Susie

      Yeah I was actually going to submit a question to Kat asking for a rundown on different fabrics – feel, texture, wear, warmth, etc. I pretty much don’t buy anything online because I need to see it, feel it, and try it on, but if I had a better understanding of fabrics maybe I would be more willing to risk it.

    • Hel-lo

      There is such a thing as “all-season wool.” It should be fine. Just not heavy wools.

      Men also wear wool year-round.

  5. Advice to a job applicant?

    TJ off the bat. I work in talent recruitment for a 2000 person org. We have one applicant who has applied to dozens of jobs, everything from a payroll accountant to the VP of marketing. He hasn’t really been qualified for anything he has applied for, and even if he did, my teammates would likely overlook him because this is a major flag. To make matters worse, he included a very cursory answer to why he wants to work for my organization, so we are far less likely to take a chance on interviewing him than we would someone else with some related skills who clearly understands our organization, the work we do, and shows a passion for the industry.

    My question is – would you contact this applicant and let him know this behavior reflects poorly on his application and he should not continue to apply to every job under the sun, or would you let it go? It sucks up someone’s time every time he applies to a role and we have to weed through his whole application history, so there is a selfish reason to get him to stop. But I also wonder if he just doesn’t know better and doesn’t realize how poorly this reflects on him. The advice I would give would be to think carefully about what he is qualified for before applying, and to write a thoughtful cover letter. I can’t figure out how to word this via email and might offer to have a 10 minute call. I am also worried he will continue to follow up with me and create more of a nuisance than I will solve. Thoughts?

    • Tina

      If he had sent in really extensive applications for all of these positions, I would say it would be worth your time. I wouldn’t spend more time thinking about how to improve his applications than he has.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe I’m overly cautious, but having just read the chapter on overly persistent people in Gavin de Becker’s The Gift of Fear, I’d continue on as you have been.

      • Mpls

        I’d also imagine that he would be the person who, when you did contact him, who then take that as an invitation to argue with you about why he is indeed qualified and why you are wrong to not hire him. Engaging him, in any form, is encouragement for him to keep in contact. Which is the opposite of what you want, yeah?

        And if you think you wouldn’t hire him anyway, can’t you just flag his application to be ignored, rather than reviewing it every time he sends it in?

        This would be something really good to take to the Ask a Manger blog…

        • Anon in NYC

          I agree. It’s annoying and a hassle, but 1) I wouldn’t engage with this guy; and 2) I can’t really see any way that this situation works out in both your favor and his favor.

    • Silvercurls

      Ask a manager (www[dot]askamanager[dot]org, “terse answer Thursday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions”) today has the other side of this question: how to encourage a candidate who wasn’t hired but has positive points, plus the same unusual mix of skills & experience as the HR person asking the question. Since ask a manager said yes in that case–contact the candidate if you can spare the time because it would be a nice thing to do–I’m extrapolating that it might be good to contact the candidate in your case because it would be both nice and (in a good way) self-serving (by heading off future timesucks for yourself or your colleagues).

      My usual disclaimer: am responding w/ common sense but no HR expertise; defer to any HR experts who respond. More thoughts:

      It might be better to figure out how to word your message by email. That way you can say everything you want all at once instead of being interrupted in every sentence. Because your applicant sounds a bit un-clued re the social nuances of applying for multiple positions (given the range you say he’s applied for) I’m projecting that he might also not have good listening skills. A follow-up phone call would perhaps give you a chance to confirm that your message was absorbed; and him a chance to feel that he has been able to express himself in response. I’d set pretty clear limits on when to call (and be assertive if he calls at another time which doesn’t work for you) and how often he can call back.

    • anon

      I have a friend who is a recruiter for a large org who just had to take out a legal restraining order on a candidate who would not leave her alone (at home or at work) trying to get a job at her org. I’d stay out of it.

    • Ellen

      I would IGNORE this guy, b/c he sound’s like he will NOT stop.

      BTW, I use the same aproach when it come’s to guy’s. You do NOT want to get them mad at you, so confronteing him will probabely not help. Also, if you commuceate with him, he will think you may be interested in him, and will not stop.

      If there is a guy you do NOT want to deal with, why would you send him an EMAIL? He then can spam you or worse. I say FOOEY on comuncation to this person.

      David is now also texteing me. I wonder if the warm weather is bringeing out all the guy’s who are now interested in me. They must have been hybernateing like bear’s over the winter. But now that it’s warm, I have to loose weight to get into my swim suits. FOOEY!

      BTW, Kat, I LOVE ANN KLEIN, but the yellow color is not good for us blond’s and I would look very washed out. If it came in red, that would be another storey.

    • Susie

      When I was applying for jobs I would have given anything to have a recruiter give me an honest response or practical feedback instead of a canned rejection letter telling me how great I was. (Don’t tell me how impressed you are by my skill if you have no intention of offering me an interview!)

    • Anonymous

      Does his application say he is currently employed? If not, this sounds to me as though he’s applying to open positions to maintain eligibility for unemployment.

      • Hel-lo

        Good call.

        I can’t think of a way to word a message to this guy that doesn’t sound like you’re trying to be helpful to him. And you aren’t really. What you want is him to stop applying. You don’t want to help him get a job at your organization.

    • saacnmama

      How bout sending him a quickie email that’s really just a link to what you’ve just said but frames it differently? There are tons of job-seeker advice sites out there that have articles saying to customize your application and cover letter for every job you apply for, and lots of them also include something on choosing your positions carefully. You could tell him you’ve noticed his applications and were sending this because it could be helpful.

      But I very much agree with the commenter who said not to put more thought into his app than he does, especially in light of the cynical but very real possibility suggested by anon at 12:23.

  6. Leslie

    I love this bright colour! I’d love to have a blazer like this. I think it would be fun over sundresses during the summer (my office is more business casual).

  7. Famouscait

    Does anyone have any experience with J.Crew’s leather iPhone cases? In my mind, it would feel lovely in the hand, and I’m in need of a new case…

    PSA as well: Giltcity is offering a 25% off coupon for J. Crew Factory today!

    • Amber

      I bought one for my fiancé at Christmas and it’s still going strong. It’s got a nice patina now, too, and aging in that way quality leather does. I say go for it.

  8. SJ

    My husband and I have started aggressively paying down debt and saving money for a down payment on a house and I just paid off our first debt. It’s a good feeling but I also want to kick myself for not buckling down sooner. But most importantly, that debt is checked off the list a full 3 weeks early. Yay!

    • Cornellian

      I’ve buckled down in the last few months in order to save for a down payment and am also kicking myself for not doing this last year, even I only saved one third as much as I’m saving now. Stupid, stupid stupid! But better late than never, I suppose!

    • Merabella

      We have been doing this at my house too, it feels so great when you get that first one done! Now start taking the money you were paying towards that debt and apply it to some other debt – seriously, the debt snowball is magic!

    • Granola

      I’ve buckled down lately too thanks to whoever on this site recommended Mr Money Mustache. Those are some enlightening ideas on his blog, and now with almost all spending I ask myself “do I want to buy this, or do I want to retire earlier?” Early retirement usually wins. I also really like the idea of building up financial independence to take away the fear of losing my job – I like working, but I’d like to not be so scared of being laid off.

  9. heel blister purgatory

    I have now spent a small fortune on what I think are high quality pumps (geox, LK bennet, kate spade type price range) of varying heel heights. (i can’t wear flats..i am short and they are not comfortable for me…and have had blister issues with them as well). I have recently had my feet measured by the shoe salespeople at Nordstroms (who are saints, btw), so I know what size to start with. When I buy the shoes, they fit and feel ok. (no heel slipping or squeezing; and i don’t buy the ones that don’t fit even if i love the look.). Alas, I *always* end up with heel blisters. My heels are a bit nobby/bone-y; but otherwise I don’t have special feet issues (narrow, wide, flat, fallen arch, etc). Bandaids help, but I would like to not have to prophylax every morning with banddaids. Do the heel slip inserts help with this? any other thoughts? Anyone successfully addressed this problem?. (Note, I can wear Naots with no problem right out of the box, but I would like to move to something a bit less orthopedic looking.)

    • a passion for fashion

      i wear the heel slip insterts in most of my shoes and never, ever get blisters anymore. I am particularly liking the dr scholl gel ones these days.

      In a somewhat related PSA, I just discovered AGL shoes (mostly flats, but some heels too). They are simply the most comfortable shoes i have ever owned in my life. The all leather flats are so soft (you would never get blisters) and hug your feet perfectly — i would totally put these up against my sneakers. They are mostly casual, but come in some great colors and styles. I also recently got a pair of nude for me patent w/ a patent bow that is not quite as comfy but i can get away with these at work.

    • Anon in NYC

      I have never had any luck with heel slip inserts (maybe I’m just not using quality ones). What works for me is Body Glide. The stuff that runners use to prevent chafing. I buy it in a solid deodorant-like form and when I wear shoes that I know have a tendency to irritate my feet, I rub it all over my feet, particularly on those spots that are more sensitive. This has worked wonders for me.

        • Lady Harriet

          You can even just use regular solid deodorant for this. Get a cheap stick and rub it on areas you tend to get blisters. Just make sure you don’t use the clinical strength kind, since it has a different texture and will just smear.

    • same here

      I have the same problem (no idea why, but I also have nobby-boney heels) & here’s what’s been my solution — I have a separate stick of deoderant that I generously rub over my heels/back/sides of my feet when I’m barefoot in the shoes. If I have it around, I’ll do a preventative moleskin (Dr. Scholls) on my heels before I wear the shoes. After a while, they tend to break in to my foot shape & the moleskin is less necessary. I hate band-aids as those don’t stay put & get all gummy. I also put a ton of baby powder in my shoes too.

    • Miss A

      1. Monistate Anti Chafing soothing cream rubbed on the back of your heels in the morning. carry it with you and reapply as necessary. Also works great for thigh chub, as a primer (apparently, never tested) and anywhere else you get sweat + friction.

      2. I don’t think it’s necessarily a price point thing, but finding which manufacturer’s shoes fit your feet better. E.g. Cole haan heels do not stay on my feet because the heel part doesn’t come up high enough; but apparently the Payless pumps featured here do.

    • heel blister purgatory

      Thanks all…will try these things. ..appreciate the suggestions…

      • roses

        Just wanted to chime in to add that for pre-existing blisters, don’t use regular band-aids, use the special blister pads that have a soft gel-like center (band-aid makes them). Regular ones can chafe and cause more irritation.

        • a passion for fashion

          When I get a blister I use a liquid band aide (lots of brands — my fav is nu-skin). you just paint it on like nail polish. works like a charm

    • n.

      I’m also very blister prone no matter how nice the shoes are I’m wearing (save for Merrells, which are magic for me, but not very professional looking). I’ve come to the realization over the years that even with well-made shoes not everyone is built to effortlessly wear shoes with bare feet. Things that work well for me for heel blisters are:
      1. Wearing nylons or tights (although this can increase my chances of getting a ball of the foot blister)
      2. Foot petals heel inserts (much better than other brands I’ve tried)
      3. Body glide (I have a small size that I can take in my purse and reapply, too)
      4. Compeed blister pads for when I actually have a blister (they stick and protect better than bandaids)
      5. For shoes that I love but are really hard on my heels, I put a strip of athletic tape over my heel as a preventative measure (obviously this works better if you’re wearing dark nylons or tights to hide the tape).

    • Meg Murry

      When I’m breaking in a new pair of shoes or ones I haven’t worn in a while, I slather NuSkin or Liquid Bandaid anywhere that they might rub, and I always carry it in my purse if I’m going to a wedding or somewhere where I’m wearing strappy shoes – those always give me the worst blisters. Just be warned – if you already have starting to form a blister or wear away some skin – applying this stuff stings like crazy on broken skin – but it totally stops the wound from getting any worse.

    • s in chicago

      Bodyglide is good for day-to-day use.

      If you have something involving a ton of walking (like an all-day conference), I totally recommend spray-on protectant. I bought some in the foot health section at Walgreens before attending a trade show one year and it was a complete life saver. The aerosol forms a clear shield on your heel (sort of like rubber cement) that protects until you scrub it off. I also try to minimize friction by wearing tights whenever I can and (not always as stylsih) seeking mary jane styles or others where there is a strap to help hold the foot in place. I agree with the other poster though, a lot of it happens to be luck of finding shoes that work well with your foot shape.

  10. Equity's Darling

    It’s sort of wet snow/almost hailing here right now and hovering around 0. It’s so icky and depressing. It sort of makes me grimace everytime I look out my office window.

    So! Let’s play “What is everyone wearing”, because it usually cheers me up.

    I have on the J.Crew 120s navy pinstripe skirt suit, with smoky gray nylons, red pumps, and a tan cowl neck blouse from BR. Acessories: none, I fail at accessorizing, except for wearing glasses. I have on this awesome pink nailpolish from Essie that I picked up last night, called I am Strong. Great colour.

    I also plan to pick myself up an eyeshadow palette later, I think “In the Garden” from Stila, though I’m open to alternative, if anyone has suggestions.

    • momentsofabsurdity

      My office is crazy empty today (seriously, there are like, 4 people here) and I’m just holed up in my own office working, without any meetings or anything scheduled, plus it’s rainy and gross outside. So I am supremely un-R e t t e – appropriate and wearing dark skinny jeans (okay, jeggings, shh), ankle boots, and a v-neck sweatshirt with my grad school name emblazoned on it. I am considering taking off the boots and curling my feet under me.

      Keeping it classy….

        • momentsofabsurdity

          Right? I feel like everyone else got a memo about a week off this week, and I somehow missed it. Oh well COFFEE MACHINE ALL TO MYSELF.

      • a.

        We’re almost twins! Except I’m wearing riding boots and a non-university sweatshirt. The sweatshirt has some embroidery around the neck, so maybe that makes it less shameful? Real talk though: my boyfriend and I got into our first fight last night, so after drowning my sorrows in wine (because I always make healthy decisions) and crying myself to quasi-sleep, my job should count itself lucky that I showed up today at all. Adult clothes were not in the cards.

        • momentsofabsurdity

          Adult clothes are overrated.

          I’m sorry about the fight! Hope it gets resolved quickly.

    • TO Lawyer

      Your outfits always sound so cute! I’ll play today because the weather is also icky here.

      I’m in a black pencil dress with a sweetheart neckline and a red and black striped knit blazer on top (that is actually really structured for being knit). Black tights and black wedge knee-high boots because it is SNOWING IN APRIL. I have on a gold necklace and matching earrings, plus my black and gold watch and a gold heart ring.

      What kind of eyeshadow palette are you looking for? I love Naked by Urban Decay if you don’t already have it, or something similar.

      • Equity's Darling

        Your outfit sounds awesoem too- tell me more about this blazer!? Where did you get it?

        I got a sample of the Stila palette, and I liked it because it sort of showed me where to apply the various colours, and blending them, which was awesome (because I’m not great at applying makeup). Plus, the colours looked really awesome with my skin tone- I’m mixed, so I sort of have a perma tan, and I also liked that all the colours had a bit of shimmer to them.

        However, I’ve heard really good things about the Naked palette, why do you receommend it?

        • TO Lawyer

          I got it from Judith & Charles – it was part of their fall 2012 line so I got it on sale in Jan (it was still pricey though…)

          I haven’t seen the Stila palette so I don’t have anything to compare it to but the Naked Palette (esp the first one) would probably go really well with your skin tone. I like it because I can basically use it every day of my life and get a different look – it’s super versatile and I can use it for both professional looks and more going-out looks too.

          • hellskitchen

            I have a Stila palette and while the colors are lovely, the staying power is not great. I don’t use an eyeshadow primer so that could be a factor but I have heard (not tried myself) that UD shadows are more lasting

        • Nonny

          I second TO Lawyer’s recommendation of the Naked palette. It’s gotten to the point now where I don’t use anything except the Naked 1 palette (although I actually have both 1 and 2). It’s just so versatile and you can combine the colours in so many ways. Go to Sephora and play with it a bit – it’s totally awesome.

          • Equity's Darling

            Yeah, I started looking at palettes because Sephora is having a VIB sale starting today (15% off), so I figured I’d take a trip. I sort of wish I wasn’t part of the VIB club (though it’s easy to do because I buy my shampoon/conditioner there), but now that I’m in, I may as well take advantage of the benefits? Riiight??!

      • Jules

        Can I just say that I want every. single. one. of these outfits? (Well, okay, except Diana Barry’s loafers.)

        • Jules

          Yeah, this should have gone at the end of the string of what-are-you-wearing posts.

    • Jules

      Pencil skirt (from Target) in shades of brown, pink and rose, kind of an impressionistic flower look, pale pink cardigan buttoned up and worn as a top, earrings and necklace of small red pearls, watch from the animal shelter rummage sale with a deep red band and deep red patent slingbacks that are impervious to today’s yucky rain.

      • Equity's Darling

        That sounds like such a sweet outfit! I like that you mixed the red pearls/shoes with a pink cardigan. I always get so nervous doing that combo, even though I love how it looks. I’ve never done the cardigan worn as a top, I’m quite busty, I’m always afraid of popping a button…

        • Jules

          I often have the same problem — this one’s a bit big in the shoulders, and I’ve got three safety pins in between the buttons!

    • JessC

      Burnt orange and cream floral printed wrap dress from Antonio Melani. Large-ish gold filigree earrings and nude patent peep-toe pumps.

      • Equity's Darling

        That dress sounds amazing. I love orange with cream. I’m a lot jealous that your weather is peep-toe friendly. I love boots, but…my calves haven’t felt fresh air since October.

        • JessC

          Come move to central Florida! The weather’s lovely today – though in a couple months it’ll be 95* with 95% humidity!

    • Z.

      I’m pretending it’s actually spring and not in the 40s in Texas in April. I’m wearing the medallion pencil skirt from J Crew (it’s a fun medallion print in pink, navy, green, and white), pink silk shell, navy J Crew schoolboy blazer, nude Cole Haan chelsea pumps, chunky gold link necklace, gold studs, and gold watch.

    • lucy stone

      It is raining/sleeting here right now and not too much warmer. BOO Midwest. Where are my daffodils?

      I’m wearing a L.L. Bean 3/4 peacock blue crewneck sweater, purple Coldwater Creek camisole with lace at the bottom, Talbots tan wool trousers, pink ballet flats. Moissanite studs, chunky amethyst necklace, silver watch, wedding set, Cape Cod bracelet.

      I am also on my second cup of hot chocolate out of my Just Say Fooey and Move On mug, which is by far the best accessory I am sporting.

    • Seattle Freeze

      Also nasty weather here today – that classic soaking PNW mist – so bundled up in lichen-colored Uniqlo skinny cords, abstract white & grey dotted long tank, orange merino cardigan, red/gold/orange paisley pashmina, and grey ART oxfords. Accessorized with vintage Italian glass bead drop earrings and oval Art Nouveaux onyx cabochon ring.

    • Diana Barry

      J Crew perfect shirt, silk blend in off-white/taupe flower print, sm ruffles on front, very pretty. J crew grey pinstripe suit. Terrible Naturalizer loafers, black. I need some new ones – these make me feel blech every time I put them on.

    • Senior Attorney

      I love this game! It’s nice and springy here today so I am wearing yellow! The (original) Skirt in mustard with matching cardigan, and black and white polka dot silk top from J Crew. Black patent pumps, long silver pendant necklace, and shiny silver tote with my initials (which are the same as the designer’s initials) all over it! ;)

    • Nonny

      It is actually Not.Raining here today (honestly, if you aren’t familiar with PNW weather, this is Big News), so I am not wearing tights – for only the second time this year. Feeling springy.

      Elie Tahari black sheath dress, chartreuse cropped cardigan, necklace from Anthro with gold tones and a green stone, and my black Sofft heels with a big black flower on the toe.

      Also very excited because my boudoir shoot is coming up on Saturday and I am going to get a mani and pedi this afternoon – am going for classic red.

      • Equity's Darling

        I heartily approve of classic red for a photoshoot. You don’t want the photos to look dated in a few years, and I think only red and pale pink, in terms of polish, really achieve a “classic” look that doesn’t end up being dated.

        Your necklace sounds awesome. I’m jealous of your weather, it’s actually gotten worse here, and I can’t even see out my window at this point, it’s basically just white from all the wet snow.

    • Anonymous

      White and blue striped shirt, black slim-cut cotton pants (with the hems rolled up), black pumps, tiny black belt with studs, triangular “antique-like” earrings, fuschia lipstick, messy ponytail. And a black trenchcoat to go out.
      Spring is here !

    • Susie

      I don’t know how to describe my top without making it sound hideous. It is a button-up, rust colored but with sort of an Indian-looking (?) pattern with blue, gold and yellow, and sort of bell sleeves. I’m wearing it with a tan pencil skirt and brown pumps, hair up in the dreaded claw clip. I hope I look better than I made it sound!

    • anonypotamus

      navy sheath dress (with stretch) that has teeny white polka dots on it. navy belt, hot pink cardigan, and tan flats. white gold/diamond hoops, chopard happy ring and hair down. its been so nice and sunny and warm here (got burned at lunch sitting outside yesterday!) but i have to do doc review all. day. so comfy dress it is!

      • another attorney

        this sounds lovely. Im totally obsessed with navy and hot pink lately

    • Sydney Bristow

      Jeans, t-shirt, and a hoodie for me today because I took a week off between projects. I wore much cuter stuff earlier this week when the weather was nice, but today is gray and damp so I went super casual. Actually, I’ll probably change into sweatpants soon. Taking a week off has been glorious!

    • Leigh

      My office is on the casual side of business casual, so I’m wearing a 3/4 sleeve striped shift dress in black, white, and navy (knee length), with strappy tan t-strap pumps, a tortoise shell bracelet watch, mustard scarf tied in a bow, and my hair is up in a ballerina bun. I’m incredibly comfortable, and want to wear this outfit every day!

    • ohc

      It has been in the mid- to high eighties here for the past few days, but we’re suddenly back down to mid-sixties and cloudy today.

      I work in a *very* casual office (seriously, there are people who wear jeans and sneakers every day); while I tend to be much dressier than most, I have a lot of running around to do today setting up for an event this weekend. I’m wearing black skinny jeans, a dark gray silk shell, a black silk cardigan, really rad black wedge sandals (the wedge part is wooden), and a long light blue necklace. I just cut my hair really short a few weeks ago–I posted about it here–so the somber palate and sleek silhouette combined with the short hair makes me feel very futuristic and kick-ass.

    • another attorney

      navy ankle lenght slacks, cream sweater, and a kelly green blazer, with a green, blue, cream stripe silk long scarf, and yellow pumps. cream and gold earings and a navy and gold bangle.

    • freyja

      Mid-grey slacks, yellow/grey/white geometric print blouse from Banana, white Topshop blazer, grey snakeskin pumps, long yellow resin necklace and yellow/grey/white resin chunky bangle. By far the most coordinated i have been in a while.

      And my new fave, my Modalu Pippa grab in Shark, was a treat to myself!

    • elz

      New DVF wrap dress (outlet-GREAT DEAL!!), hose, and Kate Spade pumps. Oh, and my Kendra Scott Elle’s to give it a kick.

    • Hannita

      Emerald green blouse w/ 3/4 sleeves & little pleat/ruffle things horizontal across the front. High-waisted black pencil skirt w/ vintage camel belt w/ black and cream leopard print on the front, and black patent peep top wedges with tortoiseshell pattern on the wedge part. And gold hoop earrings.

  11. AIMS

    Mole skin on the shoe itself helps. Though for some shoes, I still do better with a fabric band aid.

  12. anon for one

    TJ inquiry for the hive, please:

    Do any of you have “househusbands”, or a spouse/SO who works at home for a significantly lower income than yours? What considerations did you make before committing to a life with this kind of partner? This is the path we are headed on with my live-in bf since I’m the breadwinner, and he refuses to pursue the career he got a master’s for because 1) it is just as low-paying as working from home, and 2) he rather work at home and help w/ housework if/when we start a family.

    Obviously in matters of the heart I want to believe that all that matters is how he treats me, but how much do I worry about his ability to contribute monetarily down the road at this highly variable work-from-home situation he does now? How much of the housework do you expect him to do/does he actually do? I should add that he gets very stressed out (he’s working on it) when he is not making enough $, and it affects me. I wonder what would happen when he has a low income AND a crying baby to take care of! What considerations should I make before making a life-long commitment? Seems like there are no guarantees that things will go well despite assurances to that affect…TIA!

        • L

          I am cranky today, so perhaps I read the tone wrong, but househusband?! It just seemed to be a little demeaning in tone. Either he’s going to pull his weight because he values you as a partner or he isn’t. Pulling weight is more than just financial contributions. You might be frustrated with him, but re-read that post and tell me if this wasn’t one of your friends you wouldn’t look at her and be like you’re joking right, DTMFA.

          • anon in-house

            Well I put the word in quotation marks because of the lack of a better term…stay at home spouse I suppose would’ve been more PC.

            “Pulling weight is more than just financial contributions” – I guess that was the crux of my Q, what do women in a similar situation consider enough to be ‘pulling weight’ and still be satisfied with the arrangement? Like I said, he works and is therefore not free to keep the house pristine and full dinners ready, so I wonder what is and is not reasonable to expect from someone in this situation. Many of the responses below actually helped put things in perspective for me, so thanks ‘rettes!

      • Avril

        I wonder if she is as pretty as Ellen? Anyone who is so good at spelling and sentence structure cannot be as pretty as Ellen.

    • Anne Shirley

      For me, what matters is if we’re making decisions together for the good of our family. So- deciding to pursue a lower paying career because we both value him being home to take care if the kids = yes. Him deciding to live off his girlfriend because life is hard and he doesn’t want to bother trying for a career or getting therapy to help him handle his stress = not worth my time. And with no kids to take care of, and it sounding like he isn’t actually working a full time job at home, I’d expect my house to be clean, my laundry to be done, and dinner ready when I get home. Long term, it’s not a dynamic I’m looking for.

      PS- “how he treats me” includes “does he treat our finances with respect”

      • Diana Barry

        +100 again. The language in your post re: “he refuses to pursue the career” is a big red flag for me. Is he not working at all now?

        Obviously having a SAH spouse can work for couples, but I worry that there are other things going on from reading your post.

        • anon for one

          No he is working from home, but it produces variable results in terms of income, although the time put in is like a 9-5 equivalent…

          • Sandra

            Could you just say what the work-at-home job is? For one, it would be helpful to know if it’s the type of thing that could go on a resume and help him get a real job down the line, or if it’s something totally fake like stuffing envelopes…

      • hoola hoopa

        I agree. I’m seeing red flags, too.

        It sounds like you’re mostly interested in division of labor, so here’s ours: He watches two kids, makes dinner, does laundry, and does light cleaning during the day. I earn the money. We’re evenly split on deep cleaning and errands, as well as parenting and light cleaning during evenings/weekends. We grocery shop once a week together. If he was not watching two kids, he’d be doing nearly all the grocery shopping, errands, deep cleaning, and additional projects like home repair, gardening, canning, etc.

        The key to not having a grudge is respect. I respect everything that he does to support our family; he respects everything that I do; we repect each other as people. We also discuss the labor assignments, rather than assuming.

      • CKB

        +1000 My dh will be a SAHD after his contract ends in June, mostly by mutual consent, partly because his field is not hiring. We made this decision because it is best for our family. He takes care of most of the day to day chores now anyway, and I do the deep cleaning, decluttering type tasks and help out with the day to day stuff as well. For us, though, with 3 kids, the childcare (even though they are older at 7, 10 & 13) is the most important. We try to make all decisions based on what is best for the boys.

    • anon too

      I think this can work (a division of labor as “staying home spouse” vs “working spouse,” has worked for generations, after all) but my big concern would be that you DON’T have kids and (if I’m reading you right) current SO is not working or working very minimally?

      IMO, there’s no real benefit to having or being a “stay at home spouse” if there are no children in the picture and it would probably breed some resentment on both sides. If he’s not working hard on *something*, when he really has only himself to take care of, I’d be concerned about him in the future working hard on taking care of a child. JMHO.

      • n.

        I’ve had a SAH spouse for the last year due to immigration reasons (he wasn’t legally able to work while his residency paperwork was being processed), and it’s actually been lovely. He cooks, grocery shops, does laundry, taxes, errands, etc. The lack of income sucks, but it’s also been money saving in some ways because he has time to be ultra thrifty (bargain shop, build things rather than buying them, buy cheap produce and preserve it). Obviously it’s a different situation because it’s temporary, but now that he’s been back at work full time for the last month, I find myself really missing my house husband :)

    • Anonymous

      I have a house-spouse because of medical circumstances. I am fortunate to have a very good income and he receives disability. We did build a large cash cushion in case anything happens to my job. We are very cognizant not to let our expenses get ahead of his income plus a small kicker from mine (in other words, I don’t need to replace most of my income if I couldn’t work). You need disability insurance for your income. We hire out housecleaners and yard service. He does dishes and I do laundry. He’s a better housekeeper than I am. No kids – that’s the next hurdle. We expect to have help then too given our special circumstances.

    • Anon

      My husband works part-time/contract basis (he is an engineer), and stays home to take care of our three children and the house. We knew pretty much as soon as I got accepted to law school (we have been together since we were 20 and in college) that this would be our likely set-up. He does his work for the most part in the evenings and dedicates one full day on the weekend to working, so that we don’t need child care for the most part. (Every now and then he has a meeting or something and his mom will watch the kids.)

      Anyways, he does almost all of the cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, taking the oldest to school, etc. We have had this set up for about four and a half years and it has taken some time to get it figured out. Initially, his idea of clean and my idea of clean were not the same, but he does much better now. I also plan our meals and make the list and he shops and cooks, because, although he is a good cook, he would not plan things out or make things I like to eat/want the kids to eat. He has also started gardening with the kids which is awesome!

      He is also super handy and can fix anything at home or on our cars, so I really feel like he contributes a ton in that way because we never have to hire a mechanic/plumber/etc.

      Honestly though, he is not opposed to working and would go back full-time if he needed to. He has enough part-time work that could easily turn full-time, and that is part of why he does it. We don’t really need what he makes, but he wanted to stay “in the game” or whatever. The real reason we did this is because we wanted someone home with the kids and did not want the stress of two professional careers and I made more, so he scaled back.

      I know he does not consider himself to have a “low income” because we have combined our finances and so our family has a comfortable income. Would your partner feel the same way? I think he should only stay home if he wants to and you really have to decide if you are ok with it, because it is easy for either party to become resentful.

    • In House Lobbyist

      My husband stays at home and it great for our family. I travel a lot and it is so much easier knowing he is there to take care of everything. It was an adjustment for him for awhile – stay at home moms were the worst to him but I think there is an increasing number of dads that take on this role now. He does all the house maintenance, maintains our rental property and deals with our tenants, does all the cooking, majority of the housework, shopping and errands. Now do I always like the way he does laundry or how he dresses our son? Absolutely not but I had to let it go. I still do all the event planning and organizing for our family – he just usually executes the plans.

      As far as money, we treat everything equally. He worked at a very high paying job when I was in law school and helped support me even before we were married. To continue with that work, he would have to travel for 6 months to a year at a time. He also has very generous family members who have given us good sums of money for down payments and investment propery over the years. But he is generally hands off with the money and luckily doesn’t have too many expensive hobbies. It also helps that we able to afford trips to the zoo, indoor play places and things like that.

      My only other advice is that he has to want to take on that role and be comfortable with it. My husband loves it and routinely expresses his appreciation at being able to stay home. But it is not for everyone. His brother is trying the same thing right now and is really struggling with not feeling like he is supporting his family.

    • anonymous

      My husband is a “house-husband.” We do not have kids. He is looking for a job, but to be honest, he’s not looking that hard, and I’m more than OK with that.

      My husband does almost all (95%) grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and yardwork. He also runs a lot of our errands (goes to the bank, picks up drycleaning, etc), makes sure our computers and cars and everything else are working, and does a lot of the work on projects (currently supervising a renovation). We own a triplex, and he also handles rent collections, problems with renters, and repairs that need to be made. His parents live nearby, and he helps them out with stuff occasionally. Right now he is supervising a major kitchen renovation. Honestly, he’s pretty busy.

      I try not to impose my perfectionism on his housework and cooking and to not be a jerk if I come home and the house isn’t spotless or dinner isn’t ready. That said, I do get upset if I can tell he hung around until 4:00 and then thought, “oh sh*t, wife will be home soon, better get moving.” Basically, as long as he’s trying.

      Besides work, I handle most of our finances, bill paying, and filing. I also do my own laundry, but mainly because I’m a control freak about it (he has offered to do it). I’ll also chip in for a “big clean” on Saturday a couple times a year.

      I think this arrangement works out well for us financially. If he worked full-time in his field, our take-home would go up, but I’d probably bill fewer hours and have less potential for bonuses. We’d also order more take-out and would probably have to hire a maid service. And we would probably incur more costs managing the rental units. When we have kids, I’m sure the cost of child care alone would exceed what he would make (even at the top of his field). So, basically, I’ve decided that as long as he’s contributing to our marriage and our family, I’m happy if he’s happy.

      • anon for one

        Thanks for the replies everyone! I really appreciate your input. I can relate to the situation of Anonymous right above and Anon. He works til 4pm at home and I have trouble calling it work even though he tells me it’s full time in that sense, but I know there must be downtime and afterwards he goes to the gym so by the time I get home things are far from what I expect (sometimes dinner is an afterthought and things are not tidy as I’d like, which he apologizes for but I still haven’t come to terms with it). I guess like Anon over time we will get the hang of things and I do love having someone else run errands, except because he tells me he’s busy with work til 4pm then gym he rarely runs the errands I need done until I’m home and then it looks like I’m waiting to be served food and lounging around waiting for him to clean. At which point it feels a bit ridic…

        I am also trying to reconcile the one part of me who wants everything done and possibly needing him to scale back his work for even less $$ into the house in order for him to get everything done, with the part of me who enjoys the lifestyle my income allows without dividing it up between 2 ppl and skrimping more :/ (I realize I probably sound selfish…)

        • anon

          For whatever it’s worth, anonforone, there’s nothing wrong with deciding and arrangement like this wouldn’t be for you. Maybe I’m selfish too, or a bad feminist or something, but I don’t think I could come to terms with an arrangement like yours. Especially when kids enter the picture – I think I would resent my husband for the opportunity to stay home while I had to work and I don’t think men often experience that same feeling.

          • Flamingo

            Being a feminist means you think men and women should be treated equally. That’s it. There’s no such thing as a good feminist or bad feminist. Do what works for you.

          • Anonymous

            well I think that’s what she is saying- she doesn’t really want to be treated totally equally, she is distinguishing between women/men and saying men don’t resent not being able to stay home. stating what works for you isn’t a matter of feminism though, its a matter of personal preference. There is nothing wrong with a woman who wants to stay home with the kids. there’s also nothing wrong with a man who wants to stay home with the kids. It gets into “bad feminism” when we start saying MEN (plural) don’t like to stay home with the kids, WOMEN (plural) are more suited to stay home. Feminism means people are equal, and recognizing all people are different. I’d love staying home when kids- I really don’t care for work. That has nothing to do with me being a woman, its a combination of my personality and my career choices. My best friend would not like to stay home with the kids, but married a man that is very good with kids. That has nothing to do with male/female- just again, personality and preferences.

        • Sydney Bristow

          I don’t think you sound selfish, but you do sound like you don’t trust that he is working as much or as hard as he says that he is. It sounds like there is already a level of resentment there. That is something that I would examine before making any major decisions.

          • Hel-lo

            It sounds like he’s telling you he works on his job (from home) until 4pm. Then you expect the entire house to be clean and dinner on the table when you get home.

            That’s kind of unrealistic. He can’t do an entire day’s worth of chores and cooking in two hours.

            If he has a job, but just works on it from home, that doesn’t mean that he also has time to do all the chores and cooking.

            If he does not have a job, and just sleeps in or watches YouTube videos until 4pm, that’s a different story.

    • Jill

      One thing to consider is that if you have children, many employers who offer work-at-home options want the parent who works at home to have other childcare arrangements – while they’re probably going to be flexible about “leaving early” to pick up children from daycare, doctor appointments, and one-off childcare emergencies, they don’t want someone trying to be a parent while they’re “on the clock.”

      • Meg Murry

        Yes, it sounds like your SO is working from home, not necessarily SAH without job responsibilities. For more ancedata, my husband runs his own business with his father, is a local elected official (paid, but not much), manages and maintains our rental properties and is a large scale gardener/small scale farmer. Because he’s home more than I am and has a semi-flexible schedule (I work long hours and have a long commute) he does most of the errands like grocery shopping, taking kids to/from school, kids dr appts, etc. I will admit I am jealous of him sometimes, because he has flexibility with his time – if he wants to take an afternoon off to go see a movie matinee or have coffee with a friend, he can – but he also deals with midnight phone calls for work related emergencies or rental property disasters. I am also jealous sometimes that he can choose to scale up or scale back on projects, while I have to maintain “working for the man” for health insurance and maintaining at least one steady paycheck. I try not to let the jealousy get the best of me, but sometimes I complain to him and ask me to remind me of the negative things he deals with so I don’t feel like I’m getting the short end of the deal.

        I would caution that unless your SOs job is flexible on what hours he can perform his duties, he will not be able to be a stay at home parent without at least part time help – be it a parent’s helper or part time daycare. My husband tried taking care of our son when he was 2 and his work was especially slow and it only worked because we had my retired father on call when needed.

        I know you mentioned the “I know there must be downtime” – could you work together to optimize that downtime/the fact that he’s at home? Like, you throw in a load of laundry before you leave and ask him to put it in the dryer and the next load in? Same with the dishwasher? Or plan casserole style meals together so all he has to do is turn on a crock pot or put a dish in the oven at a certain time and then it would be ready at dinnertime?

        Sometimes I wonder – back in the day when women were first starting to work outside the home, were there a lot of husbands who were frustrated if their wives DIDN’T want to do that? Being the primary breadwinner is stressful, sometimes I wonder how men felt about that when it was just a given for them?

    • anon47

      I *had* a house-husband. We ended up divorced. The original plan was that he would be working from home for variable pay or continuing to develop professional skills, and that his support around the house would balance out everything. Originally he was great about doing dishes and helping with housework, and made a significant effort to do interesting professional work. His upkeep of both the house and his career slid rapidly after about a year and a half, and once things became a wreck at home he felt that the things he had agreed to do were his territory and that if I did them instead of him that I was preventing him from earning his keep. I totally stopped being able to relate to him after a while because he simply wasn’t interesting – he didn’t make sufficient efforts to be involved in the community and do meaningful work outside the home, and all I could see when I came back from a long day was that basically nothing had happened. I eventually just found it easier to live on my own and do my own housework, but I bitterly resented the implication that I had become dependent just because it would have made him feel better to see it that way. I am sharing this to make sure you know where I am coming from with my advice, which is that if you think you might lack the passion to make things work if your house-spouse goes through a difficult spell, be honest with yourself and figure out how to approach him about a better arrangement NOW.

      • Avril

        Good for you! I agree. If a house-husband does not pull his weight around the house, and is otherwise a dud in bed, you can do better on your own.

    • Anon

      I’m sort of on the flip side of this. My SO makes a decent living, but works long hours at a physically demanding job. I make good money and we could do just fine on my salary alone. I would love, love, love for him to be a house spouse, but he isn’t interested.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Are you okay with paying alimony and/or child support if you two ever split? That is one big downside of having a financially dependent spouse, male or female.

    • Anonymous

      About a year ago my DH ended his engineering career to turn his hobby into his own business. While getting it started he has free time to do most of the household management. Honestly I might be the main breadwinner for the rest of our lives and I am okay with that for several reasons. He is a hard worker, we have similar financial values, he put me through grad school and a spell of underemployment, he contributes both to running his business and cleaning/repair/household tasks.
      We were married before making this decision and it came after many years of his first career. I actually love having a part-time househusband. We had several discussions about it and it was a mutual decision for him to step back from his previous career.
      Right now the hardest thing is that he misses the daily social interactions that he used to get at work. I’ve suggested meetups with other small business owners and volunteering but he needs more social interactions.

    • another anon

      I just had a mini-crisis about this very issue last night. When we married, my husband had an office job, and made a comparable salary. Nearly 2 years ago, he was laid off, and decided to start his own company and work for himself from home. His earnings dropped considerably. He continues to contribute half of the mortgage to our joint account, but otherwise I pay for all the household expenses, property taxes, vacations, etc. We have a joint account, and also completely separate accounts.
      We still split household responsibilities as we did before he was laid off – he takes care of the yardwork, repairs, etc., I cook and do laundry, and we have a cleaning lady every 2 weeks.

      My main issue is that he is a cheapskate, which has been exacerbated by his reduced income. I resent this a lot sometimes, less most of the time. I mean, I’m glad that he’s not a big spender, since he’d be spending my money, but on the other hand, I feel like he’s holding me back from spending money on things that I enjoy or want.

  13. Cardigan recommendations?

    I’m in need of wise advice. I am six months in to my first post-grad school job in a business casual office, and I have become increasingly disenchanged with my existing cardigans! I have several J. Crew Jackies and J. Crew Boyfriend Merino Knits, and after multiple wears they are not looking quite as professional/pressed/formal as I would like. Material wearing slightly, gets wrinkly too fast, a little misshapen.

    Any recommendations for good-quality professional cardigans under $100, that I could either hand wash or wash on the delicate cycle? Or what I should look for in material?

    • lucy stone

      Talbots charming cardigan is great. It also has buttons the same color as the sweater, which is what bothers me about the Lands’ End cardigans.

      • KLG

        I have bought a bunch of these on sale and they seem to have held up well so far during my 6 months in business casual employment.

    • Anonymous

      Good question. I am also in search of this. I feel that nothing I own is appropriate to wear with pencil skirts or a nice blouse. I feel frumpy in cardigans…

      • Anonymous

        Thanks. Is there something unique about the cut/fabric that makes them look nicer/more professional?

        • anon

          They’re not 100% cotton, and so have a bit of a sheen to them. But in a good way, not a cheap-looking way. They’ve also help up really well, and the colors are lovely.

    • anon

      I’ve been in the same situation, and ended up now borderline starting a collection of Tory Burch cardigans that I’ve got on consignment ;) but it added up quickly to a very expensive collection of cardigans, even w/o paying the original $250/pop!

    • hellskitchen

      I have a Design History cardigan that I have been wear 2-3 times a week for the last 3 years and it looks as good as new after dry cleaning. It’s a simple black open cardigan but the material has retained its shape and color after all these years. I bought it at a sample sale so I don’t know retail price but if I had to buy one full price again I wouldn’t hesitate because I now have a sense of their quality. I have also had very good luck with some H&M cardis in bright colors – they shrink a bit in the wash but otherwise retain their shape and color well. Plus at an average of $15 they are not hard to replace

    • Sydney Bristow

      This isn’t a “high quality” option, but the cardigans that I’ve had hold up the best lately have been from Target. I’m not sure what is in the fabric content, but it just does not get stretched out over time like every single other cardigan I’ve had lately does.

        • Meg Murry

          Yup, I’m a cotton Target cardi fan, I also have some cheap Old Navy and Gap ones. I don’t baby them at all other than to wash them cold all together and then dry on low. I even keep them on those velvety hangers and they don’t get hanger bumps. They are also cheap enough that if they do start to look bad I can easily replace them. The only problem with them is that being cotton, they aren’t nearly as warm as cashmere or wool – but in my office thats probably a good thing, its usually too warm in my office for wool sweaters.

  14. Migraine Sufferer

    Not a big fan of that jacket set, but I love this blog. Just sayin’.

  15. Emmabean

    If you were going to buy a c8cktail ring for someone as a birthday gift, what size would you buy? I’m thinking that since it could really be worn on any finger, that there’s got to be a good “average” size that would fit most people, right?

    FWIW, the person I’m buying for has pretty regular looking hands (what a strange thing to say…). I’d say they’re definitely not small, and she has longish fingers. I’m thinking a 6?

    • n.

      I think the average ring sample size is a 7 — I’d err on the side of larger rather than smaller, because you can buy a sizer for a bigger ring or wear it on a different finger, but if the ring is small you’re SOL.

      • Senior Attorney

        You’re not, actually. I’ve had rings enlarged. They put it on a metal cylinder and hammer it to make it bigger. As long as the band itself is plain it shouldn’t be a problem.

      • Brant

        I’ve gotten rings enlarged. My Engagement ring, actually. DH was SO CLOSE with the sizing (he used an old ring to guess-but it was sadly one that i didn’t wear because it didn’t fit!). I had to have the jeweler increase the ring by either .5 or .75- i forget. My ring has a thick platinum, band so the jeweler was able to shave off a bit from the entire inside to make room. If it had been a full size off, we would have had a bigger issue.

      • n.

        Yeah, bad choice of words, perhaps — I know you can get rings resized at a jeweler (and certainly should if it’s something you wear every day like an engagement ring), but I probably wouldn’t want to pay forty bucks to resize a c*cktail ring I received as a gift (unless it was somewhat valuable and not just a “fun” ring), and it can also be more difficult to resize rings that are plated/not made of precious metals.

    • mascot

      Cocktail rings tend to be top heavy. My jeweller suggested sizing down a little to keep the ring from spinning. It seemed like a snug fit at first, but now it’s great because my ring doesn’t move much.

    • NOLA

      I wear a 7 on my middle finger, which is where I wear a c*cktail ring. I also recently found out that my friend who appears to have much smaller fingers wears the same size. Odd because I’ve always thought I had large hands.

  16. Hindy

    Any San Francisco corporettes that can give some advice? I’m heading to San Francisco tomorrow morning for a quick weekend to visit a friend. I’ll get there about noon, but he’ll be at work all day, so I’ll have the day to myself (probably till about 5 or 6pm). Any advice on what to do, where to go? I haven’t been to San Francisco since I’m a kid. Thanks!

    • Orangerie

      Where are you staying? The weather will be gorgeous tomorrow… I’d recommend checking out the Marina neighborhood. Union Street and Chestnut Street are chock full of cute boutiques you can wander into, if you like that sort of stuff. Plenty of places to sit outside and enjoy lunch or a coffee, too.

  17. Anonymous

    Is there anyone out there that lives in San Francisco that can give some advice? I’m heading to San Francisco tomorrow morning for a quick weekend to visit a friend. I get in at about noon, but he has to work, so I’ll have the afternoon to myself (until about 5 or 6pm). Any advice on what to do or where to go? I haven’t been to San Francisco since I’m a kid. Thanks!

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I did a long weekend in SF in January. Here was our itinerary:

      Saturday
      Sears Fine Foods
      Walk around Union Square (Cable Cars?)
      Lunch around Alameda
      St. George’s Spirits / Hangar One
      Foreign Cinema or
      Tadich Grill
      Drinks in the City

      Sunday
      Light and Quick
      Wine Tasting
      Gott’s Roadside (St. Helena)
      Wine Tasting
      Grace’s Table
      Drinks in the City

      Monday
      Buena Vista Café
      Fisherman’s Wharf
      Lunch on the Wharf
      Alcatraz Night Tour
      Sam’s Grill or
      Suppenkuche  (DAS BOOT!)

      For the wine tasting we did:
      Peju
      Silver Oak
      Grgich Hills
      Inglenook
      Alpha Omega
      Sterling
      Domaine Carneros

    • Merabella

      I don’t live in San Francisco, but I’ve traveled there. My favorite thing to do – eat. There are tons of great places to go around the city depending on what you want.

      The Art Museums are quite awesome, and you could also do the touristy thing of riding the cable car.

    • k-padi

      I would go to Alcatraz (if there are still available tickets). It’s a really great tour and you do need a good chunk of time to do it.

      If you want to shop the big stores, go to Union Square.

      If you want to walk, I’d follow the Embarcadero from the Giants Stadium to the Golden Gate. You’ll avoid the hills, won’t get lost, and can stop for a sundae at Ghirardeli at about half way. You’ll see plenty of San Francisco character.

    • sf resident

      you have some good suggestions on tourist things to do. Personally, I love to go hang out in neighborhoods & SF has tons. My perfect afternoon would be to head over to the Mission, go to Dolores Park, eat at Tartine or Craftsman & Wolves, walk around Valencia street (tons of cute shops). I also love walking around Fillmore Street (start up around California) & Union Street (start around Laguna). Or Hayes Valley (Gough & Hayes). You can easily pass an afternoon in any of these places & get a real feel for living here. Check out the blog SF Girl by the Bay for good city guides that are local.

  18. stocks?

    Can we talk investments that are outside of 401 (k)/IRA/typical retirement buckets? Do you ladies buy individual stocks, and if so, how do you research them? Do you have more of a day trader approach, or do you hold for the long haul?

    I ask because I’m at a point where I can afford to invest in a few stocks outside of retirement buckets, but I don’t really know where to start.

    • k-padi

      I use Vanguard index/mutual funds (same funds that you probably have in your 401k). It’s really easy to open and fund an account online. Check out Vanguard’s website for education about Vanguard’s buy-and-hold, long-term investment strategy.

      • Silicon valley chick

        +1

        Unless you have the time, interest and knowledge base, I would stay away from individual stocks and go to a reliable company (Vanguard) and invest in a low fees mutual fund. Index funds and/or Retirement year based index type funds are the right vehicle for you.

    • mascot

      I have a blue-chip stock that I have held for years. All the dividends just keep re-investing and then every 10-10 years, the stock splits. It’s pretty easy to manage and I have built a nice nest egg by just leaving it to grow.

    • Anon

      I used to work in financial planning and we didn’t put anyone in individual stocks unless they had over a million dollars to invest. With smaller amounts your portfolio will be too heavily weighted in one sector/company. If this is “fun” money and you’d be OK with losing all of it Enron- style, then go ahead and research a stock to buy. Otherwise, I’d go with mutual funds. If you are looking to be aggressive there are plenty of aggressive mutual funds you can choose.

      The above is not financial advice; it’s for entertainment purposes only.

    • Hel-lo

      Meet with a financial planner or investment adviser. My money is in mutual funds, but there may be other options that would be better for your situation. (I personally love Edward Jones and have had several financial advisers in different parts of the country, and have had positive experiences with all of them. I’m sure there’s a branch in your area. It’s ok to just call them up or drop by. )

  19. T. McGill

    My husband and I are trying to motivate ourselves to go to the gym on a more regular basis. We’d like to have some kind of incentive — X times a week for 1 month gets us “BLANK”. “BLANK” can be something individual or joint (provided we both met the goal of course). We don’t live an extravagant lifestyle, but we don’t really want for anything, which makes it hard to select the incentive. Has anyone done this? Suggestions? TIA!

    • anon

      A ladygarden party for every gym session – everyone wins and it’s even more health benefits to boot!

    • Equity's Darling

      Couples massage?

      I’ve recently been rewarding myself with pretty smelling shower things that I can *only* use after I go to the gym. For example- I usually use a Dove bodywash, but after the gym, I get to use my LaVanila coconut vanilla body wash. I like to smell pretty, so this is a big incentive for me.

    • Anon in NYC

      For me, it’s a mani/pedi if I go X number of times, and new workout gear if I go Y number of times. But I’m thinking of changing this up to include things like trips to Sephora. TBH, even when I meet my quota I often don’t purchase these things.

      What about experiences? Like, if you go X times in a month, you’ll go to one of your favorite restaurants that you don’t normally go to. Or, if you want to avoid food related rewards, you’ll go to the movies, go on a hike, do an activity that you both love to do, or transfer money into a vacation fund.

    • hoola hoopa

      My husband and I did our own version of biggest loser once. Essentially we weighed ourselves weekly to earn bragging rights. We are not competitive people and it was all for fun, but it was really motivating to track our progress together. We both met our goals.

      You could do something like the weekly ‘winner’ gets to pick the date night activity or the overall ‘winner’ gets to pick the location for a weekend away together.

    • NDR

      On Pinterest I saw a good suggestion: you decide on a $ amount and an increment of time ($1 per workout, $10 per hour you workout, etc. / whatever you can afford/want to achieve), and put that in a jar to save towards your reward. Even if you don’t decide one what BLANK is immediately, you have a tangible and visible reminder that you’re working towards a reward.

      • momentsofabsurdity

        +1. When I get to $100 in earnings, I’m withdrawing and getting some awesome workout gear.

    • shortiek

      fancy date night at BLANK new restaurant.

      We default to dinner at home and cuddling on the couch for date nights, so this was an opportunity to get out of the rut. He enjoys getting dressed up (and seeing me dressed up lol) and I love interesting/different food (and am the picker eater) so we both win.
      I’ve heard that tying exercise rewards with food is a bad idea, but since this is an event + food I think it’s okay.

    • S

      Those deals with myself never work. I either lose motivation to get the reward or just give myself the reward anyway. I did cancel cable though and getting to watch cable TV is a great motivator to go to the gym. It’s working well for me.

    • Anon

      I didn’t start working out until a couple years ago, and I literally hadn’t been to a gym until this year. As you can probably guess, I needed some help getting motivated to get into a good workout routine. My boyfriend wanted me to go to the gym with him on a regular basis because having a workout buddy helped keep him motivated too. He made a deal with me that if I worked out X times per week, he would give me a massage. Full disclosure: I’m a major sucker for massages. Now we don’t keep the deal anymore but I’ve built good habits and still meet my workout quota most weeks. Maybe massage isn’t your thing but I think there are some good ideas above. Find what gets you motivated, even if it’s different for each of you, and reward each other!

      • Anon

        I should add that for me it helped that the reward was something that I couldn’t cheat and give myself anyway (i.e. boyfriend would withhold massages if I didn’t work out X times).

    • b.d.

      Yes! I have done it with “lift weights 3x / week for 12 weeks = new pair of boots” and currently “exercise 5x/week for 8 weeks get = [our favorite no-cost date].” This approach doesn’t work well for my spouse, though.

  20. Corporate Cowgirl

    My husband has been a SAHD for 9 years (2 kids). While this was not the original plan when we got married, it made sense when we had kids because he made significantly less money than me, less education, less earning potential. I don’t have a problem with this arrangement since I knew I would always earn to take care of myself, so marrying a low earner was not an issue for me. But being a low earner is very different then being un-motivated and/or lazy. That….is not the guy for me.

    But, if he is not going to work, I have an expectation that he will do all the things required to run the household. For example, I should not have to work all week and then clean the house on the weekends. This is where I have had to adjust my expectations. He does not do everything the way I would, obviously, and that’s where I have had to let go. Not easy for a Type-A controlling planner like me! I have also had to outsource a few things that he just wasn’t getting done. Yes, it annoys me to spend money on something he is perfectly capable of doing, but that is a far better solution then fighting about it or doing it myself (I tried both!).

    It is hard some days but I know it is the best option for all of us, and when I feel resentful or have a “poor me” day, I remind myself of this. And I am grateful that I have a job that pays very well that allows us this option.

    • Corporate Cowgirl

      Sorry, wrong thread! This was for the stay at home/work at home SO thread.

    • anon in-house

      Sounds like me ;) But that is my concern, I feel like I would be very resentful having to outsource help on things that simply won’t get done even w/ ample capability.

      • Corporate Cowgirl

        I seem to pick and choose what feel is acceptable to outsource, even though he could do it. I am okay having a cleaning service, because I like a really clean house. But things like landscaping and pool service, I don’t outsource because I care less about them getting done. Plus, he has started making dinner every night, which he didn’t do for the first few years. So for me that makes up for a lot!

  21. anon

    TJ-

    I’ve been an avid Corporette reader for a while, but I need advice.

    A bit of background: I’m a new-ish transactional lawyer at a Big Firm trying to make a name for myself. I recently started dating someone (less than six months). Things are going well, and I care very very deeply about him as a person.

    However, I have always considered myself to be independent, self-motivated person who is able to do things on my own–without the need for social support. Recently, I decided that I need to start attending more community events in order to meet potential clients/contacts. I heard about a charity dinner through the grapevine and RSVPed for myself. No guests.

    I mentioned to the bf last night that I have a charity event to go to. He was immediately put off because 1) it’s “weird” to go to events like these alone when a) I don’t know anyone and b) am NOT single and 2) I didn’t even extend him an invite.

    Ladies, I have ALWAYS been comfortable attending events alone–as it gives me the ability to mingle and meet people without having to entertain a guest and to be locked at the hip with a guest (which I always feel inhibits my ability to network). I love my bf, but sometimes I just want to be able to get in there and network without worrying about whether he is entertained and is having a good time.

    Am I crazy for 1) going to this event alone? and 2) not extending the invite to my significant other?

    • anon

      NO and NO, but if he is in a different industry than you he might not “get it” and have more traditional views, so just communicate your feelings on the matter to him and as the saying goes that “it’s business, not personal”. He shouldn’t impose himself on your time to shine!

    • bankerette

      I see nothing wrong with this. You aren’t going to this event to have a fun night out. You plan to network and make contacts that can help advance your career. I would approach it that way with the BF. Tell him that this is essentially a work event, and you need to be able to focus on your goals while you are there. This is not about going to a party without inviting him. Unless this kind of event has the reputation for being a “singles mixer” kind of thing (some are, some aren’t), I wouldn’t sweat it. If you explain why you want to go alone, he should understand and not pout about it.

      Side note: It seems like your BF would like to attend events like this. Maybe you should consider blending him into the networking circuit after you get your network a little more established. He might really enjoy the opportunity to help you meet people and get ahead at work. Be open to it!

  22. annnnon

    I think it is perfectly appropriate for you to go to this event alone since you consider it a work/networking function rather than a social function. Tell him that was your thinking, and you did not think it would be something he would want to go to. But to keep your bf happy, maybe invite him to the next one so he does not feel left out. Lots of people bring spouses/SOs to work events, so that would be totally acceptable as well.

  23. anon

    No, definitely not crazy for either 1 or 2. People have different expectations about how far your “coupled” status should or does extend to situations not exclusively involving both parties. But each party might not realize his/her expectation isn’t universal until a situation arises. I’m in your camp. My husband is somewhere between our camp and your bf’s. I think my H originally felt hurt sometimes because he thought I thought he was a professional liability to me (not quite ashamed of him, but sort of), but now he knows it has nothing to do with how I feel about him or how I view him. So, not only did I explain that to him, but I’d sometimes invite him (when I normally wouldn’t) to show him that even if my reasons for not inviting him didn’t have anything to do with him, I was acknowledging that I cared about his hurt feelings. Now he doesn’t care if I invite him or not… or at least he knows that it’s not a slight.

    You might get more eloquent responses if you post on a newer thread…

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