Suit of the Week: Ann Taylor

101 Comments

1. Is anyone familiar with how assisted living facilities handle laundry for residents or how they take steps do things like bullous impetigo don’t spread? I’m just wondering if commonly done laundry makes sense or as a precaution you should aim for separate laundry (or just find a place that will guaranty laundry is done only in hot water, with generous bleach on towels and bedding).

   1. My mom’s facility washes laundry separately, so her items are not mixed with anyone else’s items. I have no idea whether that is standard or not though! I would think it’s easier – they come get her laundry, wash it in one or two loads, and then return it to her – so they don’t have to sort out what goes to which resident. She also provides the laundry detergent they use, which is helpful in her case because she has allergies and needs the free & clear version.

      1. My mom is no longer with us, but that was how her facility worked. All of her clothing had to be labeled, but they were washed separately from other residents’ clothing. Fortunately all of her clothing was easy care and didn’t require delicate wash or line dry, because I think they washed it all on hot.

   2. This is very facility dependent. You will need to talk to the place to find out how they operate (and not just to the office staff, preferably to someone whose family member lives there).

      I worked at one during college and there was communal laundry in giant machines. Those used all hot water, and things like towels or bedding that were provided by the facility were not kept separate. The residents could have their laundry done separately for an extra fee, or the family could handle the laundry themselves if they were local. There were facilities in each wing for that. Accidents that resulted in laundry were generally where it broke down. For instance, the staff would not just let soiled bedding sit untouched until family came to do the laundry on weekends which meant it was cleaned quickly, but also meant the treasured wool blanket might end up doll-sized or with bleach holes if the staff was in a hurry.

   3. Assisted living is so expensive, you gotta decide if you care about this or if you’re comfortable with hot water.

      1. I think if it is not done individually, they can all be cross-contaminating each other. Lots of bodily fluids. I would only do this for my family and separate depending on medical conditions known to me. IDK how laundry staff could keep up unless they dry things on the autoclave setting.

         1. Even if done individually, contamination can happen. How this is handled is facility by facility, but I will say, from the perspective of someone whose partner spent two years in assisted living, you will make yourself crazy if your expectations of a facility are too high. If this is a concern, figure out how to handle laundry yourself each week, or via a separate service. You have to have REALLY realistic expectations for communal living like this. They just are not staffed to do otherwise (and really, you want them focused on PEOPLE, not services).

            1. Better said and exactly the point I was getting at.

   4. If you have a family member in assisted living, ask the facility. If this is another one of those odd hypotheticals, who cares.

   5. Even hospitals don’t do a great job sanitizing laundry in 2025. (Or preventing impetigo from spreading really!) Like the hospital, congregate care has some risks even if it’s safer than alternatives.

   6. It depends on the facility. At my MIL’s facility, each apartment had its own washer and dryer. The staff did her laundry in those machines so it was never mixed with anyone else’s laundry. At my aunt’s skilled nursing facility, all the laundry was done together and we had to put her name on all her clothing.

2. I just had to return a huge Ann Taylor order because the fabric was so, so awful and the cuts were odd. Like, the one pair of pants was already cheap-shiny at the seams with the tags still on, and two of them had an odd crotch-bulge thing happening that was rather horrifying. I would have thought it was a defective pair, but the fact that two separate styles had that…uh, feature? I will not be attempting to shop there again.

   1. Ann Taylor is pretty garbage quality.

   2. As one of the few retailers that sell small petite clothing for the office, this is such a loss for me. (00P) BR has really reduced their petite lines even online as well. Sorry, but tailoring is not an option when the clothing is all over too big.

   3. Once in a while I’ll get lucky and get a top from there that is a total workhorse and holds up and looks great. I have a few AT tops that I have worn nearly weekly for years. But for every one top like that, I return 15 other pieces that are weird fitting or just not good.

   4. This has been every AT order for me for the last several years to a tee. I don’t even window shop them online anymore.

   5. I’ve been crying about the quality in Ann Taylor for quite sometime as I am a 14 petite. I need decent suits for court. The worst part is I had several pieces that just sat in my closet for months, not being returned.

   6. At this point, Ann Taylor is basically H&M for adults.

3. Cat question. Is it basically impossible for a cat to get their front claws stuck in something? We have two kittens who are about 17 months old; the first anniversary of their gotcha day is coming up soon. They’re still a bit skittish around me but they’re mostly relaxed with DH.

   Occasionally, a kitten will scratch at a piece of furniture (we try to distract them from it but we don’t scold them, they’re usually just scent mark scratching not destructively scratching) and then will look like one claw is stuck. They’ll kind of tug at the paw and then give up for a minute and just sit or lay there with their paw hanging onto the furniture. When we try to rescue them, they’ll quickly pull the claw free and jump away, and give us a very offended look that we tried to help them — as if to say, omg MOM, we’re big kitties we don’t need your help, HARUMPH. Should I assume that they are perfectly capable of freeing themselves if they want to? Or is this a boy who cried wolf situation where one will actually be stuck some day?

   1. I have had cats get their claws stuck in things and require assistance. If you want to reduce the chances of its happening, you can keep the sharp points on their claws clipped so it’s harder for them to get their claws intertwined in fabrics.

   2. Cats gonna cat.

      They’ll get free, but they may rip a hole in the couch from pulling harder. If this is a thing that happens often enough, you may want to trim their claws a bit- removing the pointiest part can usually stop them getting stuck.

   3. This is just basic physics.

      They are almost certainly going to free themselves if the nail has snagged, but they might tear their claw or the fabric in the process. They obviously don’t have the dexterity to use another paw to carefully disentangle themselves the way you or I would in the same scenario. Tugging until they get the angle right or something gives is pretty much all the technique they’ve got.

      1. In fairness, cat physics seems to work differently than physics for the rest of the universe; ie, cats are liquids.

         Thanks to everyone for the reminder on claw clipping. We try to keep up with it but it’s definitely a two person job!

         1. I feel like a fifth state of matter needs to be defined for whatever cats are.

            Agree with the prior comment that cats are gonna cat. My cat gets his claw stuck in things all the time but always frees himself with no help from me. He’s a giant baby and if he really couldn’t do it, he’d let me know for sure.

   4. My cat got a claw properly stuck once and I knew about it, she meowed very urgently. That was in a piece of metal she couldn’t rip (a suncatcher decoration now put away, I didn’t know she could reach it). I regularly think she’s stuck in a blanket or something but as long as she seems relaxed I don’t worry about it. They can tear claws off to below the point of blood flow which is messy. You should get a couple of scratching posts if you don’t have those already to redirect the scratching behaviour and second the suggestions of a regular claw trim, especially for indoor cats (outside they will sharpen on trees and other things that keep the claws shorter and blunter naturally); long claws can curl around and back and dig into their toes. My cat is very skittish and either I have hers done at the vet or a travelling groomer comes to do them, other people with less jumpy cats can do them themselves at home with some practice.

   5. They can theoretically get stuck and need help, but if they’re stuck it is usually because they’re trying in a way that isn’t working. Sometimes distracting them helps because they forget what they’re doing for a moment and just do something smarter by instinct. Based on the age of 17 mo, you are correct in your assessment of what they’re trying to convey with the offended look.

   6. Yes, cats get their claws stuck like that sometimes. They will just pull until the fabric rips which is why I help them get unhooked and then I know it’s time for a trim. Just ignore the offended look and teach them that you can help with this!

      1. Yes, I’ve never had an issue with giving my cats trims at home each week or two – save yourself a time of money and trouble and learn how.

   7. Do you have a good scratching post? It helps with this too by semi filing their nails a bit.

4. What is your favorite shortcut for putting healthy meals together? A friend was just telling me about how she buys a salad kit, adds additional greens, beans, and a protein, and then portions out the whole thing for 4-5 servings.

   1. Acknowledging that two or three components that don’t have to touch constitutes a healthy meal.

      I also do salad kits often, though I usually eat about half a kit in a meal, sometimes the whole thing, with some kind of added protein, maybe adding some nuts or seeds and sometimes pre-prepared beets or carrots on the side.

   2. I guess this is more of a meal prep hack…sometimes I’ll do breakfast for dinner and make a breakfast casserole, which in turn gives us breakfast for the next couple of days.

   3. I make pasta, rice, or some other grain like farro as a base. Then I add beans (usually chickpeas or cannellinis), whatever vegetables I have around (today was cherry tomatoes halved), diced onion or shallot, and handfuls of whatever greens I have in the fridge (usually spinach).

      I then toss it with either olive oil/lemon juice/parm, balsamic vinegarette, OR my new favorite — a mix of TJ’s garlic spread and zhoug, which makes a delightfully creamy and spicy dressing. Shake it up in a tupperware and eat!

   4. Air fry roasted chickpeas and sweet potatoes and zucchini. Dump Trader Joe’s sauces on them. Rinse. Repeat.

   5. For fall dinner: Big pots of soup.
      For breakfast: Big pots of steel cut oats, with rotating flavors so I don’t get bored (favorites are oats cooked with diced apple + cinnamon and topped with pecans, and plain oats + blueberries + chopped strawberries + a lot of peanut butter, microwaved)

   6. This is just meal prep. Think logically about what you want to eat and then put it together in bigger portions. You don’t need guidance for this.

      1. This is unnecessarily rude. Lots of things do NOT meal prep well, so many vegetables get slimey or grains absorb liquid or sauces become gelatinous. When I was first learning how to feed myself I certainly made the mistake of cooking ‘lots’ of things I like them finding out they didn’t store well.

   7. Can recommend this book: The Ultimate Meal-Prep Cookbook:… https://www.amazon.com/dp/1948703580?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

      I think it was recommended on Reddit. I like the shopping lists, and the variety that it includes. We all have our go to meals, and it’s nice to mix things up.

5. Re: this mornings question – How much sexism do you experience on a day to day basis in the workplace?

   We definitely have some sexist clients and directors based in other countries. It’s interesting because I’m senior to a lot of the sexist employees and sexist complaints wouldn’t go anywhere in my work place, so I guess they just deal with it. Clients are more difficult but I do have support from the rest of the org so that helps.

   1. On a daily basis? None, or at least none that I’m aware of.

      I’ve had multiple clients who I’d consider to be fairly sexist guys but they have treated me fine. It’s almost like they think girls and women are two different genders. “Girls” are at least 18 and effable. “Women” are people like proctologists and lawyers and ex wives; they are frightening and not to be trifled with.

      1. Second paragraph – love this way of describing those guys.

         1. +1

   2. None.

   3. Among my colleagues the sexism has entirely come from men from other countries (either currently living there or immigrated to the US). Talking down to me, outright saying that I don’t have legitimate personal obligations if I don’t have a husband, etc. I’ve been brusque or snapped at those coworkers in front of my superiors. Superiors haven’t intervened to reprimand the offender but haven’t had a problem with my response either. Thankfully I’ve only experienced this with a handful of people over the last decade.

      Maybe I’m more intimidating, maybe I’m more high ranking, or maybe I’m just not as cute as I used to be but I haven’t been harassed since my early 20s. Even then it was subtle and rare.

   4. None. Other than getting mistaken for the court reporter earlier in my career, it hasn’t really been an issue (lawyer). Oh, and the creepy expert that hit on me once, which was particularly dumb of him, because guess who doesn’t get hired as an expert any more. My firm is fairly progressive as far as law firms go (we have a lot of women in leadership positions).

   5. None.

   6. Very, very little.

   7. All of it comes from a small handful of guys (one of which who controls budgets)…

      Though I’m worried since all of our DEI efforts have been quashed, and it doesn’t take much sexism to make things awful.

      1. I have never seen a single DEI effort have any effect other than that now an employee gets paid to send emails and attend meetings. Not saying they’re bad. Saying they are completely ineffective and impotent. Window dressing. Sounds like it’s good money for the person who is in that role, though!

   8. It’s not necessarily overt on a daily basis, but when your male boss decides dudebro who really never does anything has more “leadership” qualities and promotes him instead of you, you’ll realize it was a daily erosion.

      1. This is where I am. It’s not overtly sexist in recent years, but guys will have better opportunities or common interests, and things open up for them. The women are smarter and sharper, but there aren’t enough of us to pull each other up from the work versus the deals.

   9. A lot, daily. It’s mostly micro to medium aggressions rather than open comments that chicks should be barefoot and pregnant. I’m in a position that tests a person’s perspective on gender equality. (My job involves telling stakeholders they are wrong and there are negative consequences. When I was allowed to use just my initials in my emails instead of my feminine first name my job was easier.) In other positions I only noticed the general issues like holding women to higher standards for nurturing others.

      1. It must be exhausting to be you.

         1. Do you understand what it means to be a girl’s girl? I used to be edgy too, then I got therapy and learned about social power structures.

            1. That therapy sure seems like it helped.

   10. A lot, most of it is covert like the Director of a parallel team introducing himself to me for the hundredth time even though we’re in the same boardroom bi-weekly. Some of it is more overt like saying I’m ‘not right’ for the type of authority I have (sorry old Finnish man, I took you down, accept it).

   11. It’s not daily, but it’s not uncommon. I’m a union-side lawyer and it mostly comes from management representatives (sometimes attorneys, sometimes not) in hearings and negotiations. The most common forms are talking over me, talking down to me or trying to bully me. A big-firm attorney just told me everything I wanted to delete or change in a document was “standard practice,” when I’ve been doing this work for 30+ years and this was complete BS. Another time, when a management negotiator in bargaining asked the Union side a question and I began to answer it, he pointed to my client and said “I was talking to him.” I shut this down and told him my client pays me to be there and to speak for them. But this gets old.

       And a couple of years ago a mechanic from a downtown auto shop was giving me a ride to me office in the morning so I could leave my car there for the day. I was telling him the best route to take, given that my office was on the other side of the downtown area, the back parking lot of my building is the easiest in-and-out and there are mostly one-way streets. He said “I’m going to give you a treat and let you tell a man what to do.” I told him I make a living telling men waht to do.

   12. No sexism in my workplace from coworkers. Not once in 7 years at this company. And I am in a manufacturing company where it is 5 women to 35 men sort of ratio.
       Yes sexism from customers based in other countries. Specifically middle east and India.

       Previously i worked in a firm where the head of the company did not relate to women at all. Like, seemed to have no idea what to say to them in casual chat. Worked fine with them on client work but just a total loss in around the office chitchat. It often felt like he could have done it if he tried. Other than that, none.

   13. Plenty, especially being a WOC. I’ve experienced it in positions of authority as well.

6. Cooking a bit batch of meat that can be seasoned on demand throughout the week. A big tub of ground turkey, grilled chicken, ground beef, etc. DH and I are athletes, so we can easily consume 4+lbs of meat in a week between lunch and dinner servings. We’re not fussy about eating the same thing, so sometimes I’ll make a big batch of spaghetti sauce and a big batch of Thai curry, and we just alternate those two meals for the week.

   But 2-3lbs of cooked ground turkey and grilled chicken means we can just make fresh rice, veggies, salads, etc. quickly during the week.

7. Someone posted on the morning thread about their boss saying they mistake professionalism for lack of passion. I’m a manager and I’ve had this thought about people on my team in the past. I don’t give the feedback as “you lack passion”, but it usually manifests in ways that are actually performance issues.

   Examples of feedback that I’ve given:

   Need to take ownership of the project end-to-end, don’t wait for someone else to give you tasks to complete.

   Need to speak up in meetings, particularly when there’s a discussion about assigning work, and tasks that are your responsibility come up. Come off mute, say that you’ll take on the task and deliver a plan by a certain date, add it to the agenda for the next team meeting, etc.

   Proactively update the team on progress, don’t wait for someone to ask you when to expect the first draft, when it will be delivered, etc. Post it in Slack, update the tracking board, add it to the weekly updates, etc. Your peers and stakeholders should not need to constantly ping you (or me) to ask for status updates.

   Write up and/or present on experiments you run, tools you’ve tried, etc. that would be helpful to the team. This is common and expected in our industry and at our company. I should not need to assign you to do a quarterly write-up and/or share projects with the broader team that would be relevant to their work. People regularly post articles they read, announcements from adjacent teams, etc. to make sure everyone is aware. I’ve given this feedback multiple times to the same person, with it explicitly called out to share, and giving praise when they share, so this is clearly spelled out as part of the job duties.

   Basically, if you’re just waiting for me to give you a to-do list and then waiting for me to ask you if it’s finished and then waiting for me to send it out to the team, you look completely disengaged from the work and the team. Even if you’re doing the work and the quality is acceptable, the communication, ownership, connecting the dots, etc. is required if you want to move up. This is true for our overall craft, but particularly true in our large company (and many large companies, based on what I hear from my network).

   1. Interesting. I give the same feedback—take more ownership of your work end to end, but what you listed sounds exhausting. Your industry must be more reading heavy than mine. Mine is more 1:1 follow ups. So I guess make sure your direct report knows the culture of your org might be different than where they came from at their last job.

8. Which would you choose? I am engaged and we’re aiming to have a wedding in December of next year. I have never wanted a wedding, but my fiance really does, so I am going with the flow. My fiance’s parents would be paying for it, and my fiance’s friends and family will account for 90% of the guestlist. My family is pretty middle-class/working class, so big destination weddings where people fly internationally isn’t a thing. I think we will do a dinner when we get back.

   The issue is, my fiance’s father is extremely wealthy and powerful in their home country. My future brother-in-law’s wedding was an enormous affair, that would’ve easily cost 7 figures in the U.S., but was more like mid six figures since their country is quite a bit cheaper. 5 days of accommodations covered for the guests, safari trips as additional excursions, event after event with incredibly elaborate florals and decor, etc. The official reception had close to ten thousand people, while the other events had around 300.

   Fiance’s father wants us to do the same thing for our wedding, but my fiance wants us to have it in a neighboring more touristy country and keep it very lowkey. Simple florals and decor, fewer than 150 people, more focused on quality time than showiness or flashiness. Fiance feels that the wedding in the home country will be default be performative because of the expanded guest list, and won’t be possible to make meaningful as a result.

   I was on board with this originally, but I got our first quote back for a venue and it was around $150,000 for 3 nights of rooms for 150 people and venue/catering for 9 events over 3 days. This doesn’t include florals, DJ, etc, which would be a separate budget. While it’s technically in our budget, it just feels like a huge waste of money. It might wind up costing around the same as his brother’s wedding, but without the amazing decor and food and grandness. His parents would still be paying, as at least half the guest list is theirs and if we were paying we’d just have it in the U.S., which they wouldn’t be okay with.

   Part of me now feels like we should just let his dad and mom plan the wedding in their home country. We’d get a beautiful and grand wedding, and his dad gets the wedding he wants to show face to the community. But my fiance thinks if we do that, neither of us will enjoy ourselves, which is also probably true. For his brother’s wedding, 80% of the time was either them sitting for rituals/ceremonies or having to do meet and greets with people they didn’t know.

   Anyway, should I just let my fiance choose? We have to choose one of the options, as it would be a huge faux pas to not have a big event according to his family. I don’t understand how wedding culture has gotten so crazy, even in cheaper countries.

   1. Oof. A lot here. So this isn’t really wedding culture like most people define it. You’ve got a whole layer of political/family/cultural expectations on top of it.

      This won’t be the only time his family will have outsize expectations in your life. Is rolling over now, and potentially whenever things come up in the future, what you want for your life?

   2. You seem fixated on amazing decor and things being grand. Either be honest with yourself that you want this, or leave it in your fiancé’s hands.

      1. I should add, I wouldn’t judge you for wanting it—it’s a once in a lifetime experience that most people don’t get!

   3. I would elope and then just let his family plan all those things and show up. If it’s not in the USA, you likely need to get married here anyway. Have that be the romance and the family stuff the formality.

      1. Slightly different but similar sentiment: I’d think of this as the wedding party that your in-laws are throwing. And think of that separately from *Your Wedding*. And maybe plan a very small courthouse thing for just you and witnesses, plus a relaxed family dinner later.

         1. I suggested eloping, but that or this, I’d just do something meaningful to the two of you as your real wedding and then the family thing as something separate.

         2. I haven’t been in anything like this situation re: weddings, but I am really comfortable and confident working with international teams in cultures very, very different than mine – and I also once started crying while on assignment in Canada, because I was looking for bathrooms and it took a few minutes to figure out they were labeled “Washroom” and I was just overwhelmed with “stranger in a strange land” feelings.

            Sharing this embarrassing anecdote because I think there can be something /easier/ about knowing you’re just in a situation that is wildly different from anything you’ve ever experienced, and you’re just going to lean in to the strangeness, compared to the uncanny valley where things are similar enough that you start expecting it to be “like home” and then the differences are even harder. Maybe the 600k, thousands of people version would be easier for your brain to categorize as “some kind of party that is entirely different from a wedding” but the smaller version would feel more like “a wedding but not really how I picture a wedding”.

   4. It sounds like you want the big to-do in the home country, so just own it. No shade. It sounds pretty amazing.

   5. I agree with your comment about wedding culture, but as I parse through your post, you say: a) I don’t care; b) financee wants a wedding in neighboring country and c) dad wants big wedding in home country. So, if you go with dad’s option, then both you and fiancee are not getting what you want-which seems weird to me, even if dad is paying. I would want my wedding to reflect both me and my fiancee’s wishes, or if I didn’t care, I would want him to have his wishes fulfilled. Not sure why dad’s opinion is prevailing.

      1. +1

         Of course your money doesn’t go as far in a more-expensive destination. You’re picking it presumably for natural beauty, so don’t gild the lily with OTT design, and enjoy more low-key elegance and the size of event that at least one of the couple actually wants.

   6. If the smaller wedding in neighboring country will cost a fortune anyway, it sounds like it’s going to be a compromise that will make you uncomfortable (since it’s still expensive) and yet achieves less (since it’s not the big home country event). That’s logical to me, but if your fiance is the one trying to distance himself from the performative expectations of his parents, it probably needs to be his decision. It is probably not a bad thing if he’s trying to draw a line on where his parents’ influence on your marriage ends right from the start, even if this doesn’t have to be the line. So I think I end up where you do: let him know that you’re okay with either option, and let him choose.

   7. I would not marry into this family.

      1. Why? It sounds like they’re giving her the option of whatever she and her partner want.

      2. Given the amounts of money described here, I think that there is a good chance that OP is marrying into a politically connected crime family whose riches come from corruption in DH’s home country. She can go ahead and enjoy the lifestyle, and certainly let her inlaws plan and pay for the wedding on their terms, but should plan her escape routes for when the revolution comes and your husbands family winds up in jail or worse.

         1. Wow, racist much? Given the descriptions we’re probably talking about somewhere in Africa or maybe south Asia. There are wealthy business people in those areas, as well as elsewhere. I mean, they’re probably as corrupt and awful as super wealthy people are elsewhere, but that doesn’t mean they’re a crime syndicate, or that a revolution is imminent.

   8. I didn’t realize the Ambanis had any unmarried sons left. Enjoy the money!

9. Has anyone here decided to leave a VHCOL city (NYC, SF, LA) for a MCOL or LCOL area? Do you regret it? Where to where? And how do you know when it’s time to make the leap?

   1. Nope. It’s worth it to me to live here. You get what you pay for.

   2. I haven’t, but my daughter left Los Angeles for Portland, OR and she is very happy with the change.

   3. It wasn’t our decision (my husband is an academic and we had to move wherever he got a job), but we were very happy to move from the Bay Area to a LCOL Midwest city for his permanent job. Partly because it was closer to our families and more similar to where we grew up, but also because the cost of living and traffic felt really oppressive even as 20-something DINKs, and it only would have gotten harder with a family. We really wanted a kid and to be able to afford excellent daycare, a nice single family home in a good school district, enriching summer camps and activities, and to save a lot for college without sabotaging our retirement savings – none of that would have been possible in the Bay Area on a higher ed salary. We’re incredibly comfortable here in the Midwest on a <$200k HHI.

      No regrets. I wish we were closer to a major International airport but that's the only thing I really dislike about living here and there are plenty of LCOL/MCOL areas with good airports. I would probably have moved to the Chicago metro if we'd had complete freedom of choice about where to move. That's more expensive than where we live now but nothing like the Bay Area. But I've also come to really love our (much smaller) city, which is very diverse thanks to the university.

   4. Yes. Bay Area to my home town. No effing way I was putting my kids in Bay Area schools, public or private. Parents are insane there. Truly insane.

      1. +1 We couldn’t have afforded to stay there post-kids (at least not with lifestyle we wanted), but the schools would have been the sticking point if we’d had more money. The academic pressure is unreal in the private schools and decent public schools.

   5. I think it’s key to aim for MCOL or LOCL and not just HCOL. The income segregation that can make for some very out of touch people in VHCOL cities doesn’t have as much pushback in HCOL cities in my experience.

   6. Yes, not a bit, NYC to a Southern city, and I’m originally from the South and was so over cold winters and high cost of living. NYC is wonderful, but I also have outdoor hobbies and like space and nature and was just over it. Fun place to live in your 20s, less fun in your 30s.

   7. Yes. Moved from San Francisco to Chicago. Chicago is a bargain, relatively. No regrets. I am forever single, and I think if I was married/had a family, I would have moved sooner. I moved in my late 30s.

   8. Yes. Left VHCOL SoCal to raise kids in upstate NY. Stayed 15 years, but winters and Polar Vortex did us in. Also stagnant jobs/income. Moved back to SoCal a few years ago to make triple but due to all the things post pandemic still broke. Absolutely hate it and regret leaving upstate but work opps are much better here. 4 years on, trying to make the best of it/plan to leave in next 2-5 yrs.

   9. No regrets. Moved with DH 25 years ago from NYC, where we’d thought we’d live forever, to my largeish midwestern hometown. We miss New York, but this has been a wonderful place to raise our kids, we’re not constantly struggling to survive financially, and we’ve made an interesting, diverse group of friends. I felt a bit sucked into suburban momtopia during my kids’ school years, but honestly I think there would have been a similar (maybe even worse due to outsized wealth) dynamic in NYC.

   10. Yes, left NYC for a Midwest college town. On balance, we’ve been happy with the move. NYC was amazing for a certain part of our lives, and now this fits us better. I miss the city sometimes, but we’ve been back to visit. I think we knew it was time when the frustrations and difficulties starting to outweigh the fun and excitement. This was roughly when our first kid was approaching elementary school. No place is all good or all bad, and the human mind is quite resilient in focusing on the upside if you allow yourself to.

   11. I left the SF Bay Area, where I worked in tech, to move to a MCOL midwestern city. I do not regret that move. Bought a fixer-upper farmhouse in a beautiful spot. Loved the lower stress from lower cost of living.

10. PSA that I switched our checking account from a local bank to Capital One and now we get our paychecks 2 days earlier! It’s apparently some feature Capital One (and maybe other banks have?) where you get the money. I don’t really want to think about how much extra money I’d have if I’d done this a decade ago, but better late than never I suppose.

    1. that should say “where you get the money when your employer sends it, not on pay day.”

    2. How would this leave you with extra money over the years? I’m not sure I follow the logic.

       1. Just the extra 2 days of interest on the money which is of course not much in and of itself but multiplied by 24 paychecks a year over many years it adds up

          1. You are probably getting 0% interest in that bank account, so I don’t see how

             1. I immediately move it to a high interest rate savings account with 3.5% interest.

          2. Ah. I suppose that is predicated on the person not spending that money so it actually does earn the extra interest, and on the account not having fees that negate any extra interest earned.

    3. Unless you are living paycheck to paycheck (and paying a lot of overdraft and late fees), I don’t see how this would have saved you significant amounts of money.

    4. Not much? I think you’re doing the math wrong

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