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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Honor Dress

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. washable midi dressOoh: this well-reviewed dress looks both slinky and professional, if that’s possible, and the midi length feels friendlier than other dresses like this I’ve seen, where the only way I can envision them looking good is if you wear sky-high heels. I like the sleeves, the fact that it’s machine washable and lined, and the price — it’s $118 at Boden, available in three colors, sizes 2-16 in regular and long sizes. Honor Dress Hunting for plus size midi dresses? Try these. Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

248 Comments

  1. This dress is perfect. Especially the sleeves. I hate my arms, and cap sleeves always make them look extra chunky. A little extra length is awesome.

    1. OMG THIS DRESS. It is perfection in the emerald (well, duh…) but already sold out in my size. It may still be my first Boden purchase in the black.

      1. I want the Emerald so badly, but it’s also sold out in my size. There is a similar Felicity & Coco one at Nordstrom, but it has that ugly zipper down the back and cap sleeves. Love this dress however!

        2. I bought that Felicity & Coco dress and that zipper is the WORST. It went straight back.

    2. It actually is perfect. A colleague wore it twice before I broke down and ordered it myself. It hasn’t arrived yet but I am very optimistic.

    3. I love Boden dresses. I graduated in the Maggie Ottoman one this summer and just got one of the last Marion Ottoman Tunics in the sale

      1. Ahhhh I love Boden. They just had an awesome clearance sale and I cleaned up! Their dresses are so ladylike, but still fun.

  2. It doesn’t really show up in the black photo but it’s actually ruched and so quite form fitting. The blue and green versions over at Boden show the ruching more clearly.

    1. I agree. The scoop neck also looks much lower in the photos. I doubt this is work appropriate on anyone who isn’t an A cup.

      1. I find Boden to be cut pretty generously so things end up a little more conservative than pictured oftentimes.

      2. please stop assuming low necks work for small-chested women. We have gaping problem because there’s not enough to fill.

        1. Exactly! Also, a neckline that might show cleavage on a woman will large breasts might show most or all of a woman’s breasts if she has small ones.

      3. I’m a DD, so I err towards Boden’s crew necklines for work. But, I’ve been eyeing this in emerald to wear to a November wedding but was worried it would look too work-like, but I think I’m going to take the plunge. Worst case scenario, it’ll be a great office holiday party dress.

    2. Yeah, I’m not a huge fan of ruching on dresses, esp. for work. But can I just say how impressed I am with Boden? I got a shirt dress there recently and it has buttons inside the placket, in addition to the regular buttons, so there is zero chance of any bra being visible. So clever. Wish every shirt/shirtdress had this kind of detailing.

      1. THAT IS AMAZING. Heading over to check that out. On the rare occasions I wear button-ups, I safety pin the inside of the placket.

        1. I’m wearing this dress today!

          It was part of my first Boden order, prompted by the Carolyn ponte dress post. I ordered a few other dresses and the Honor dress is the only one i’m keeping.

          The midi length hits me right below the knee so very elegant pared with the slinkiness. The scoop neck works ok on me and I’m a D.

          I usually prefer sleevless due to broad shoulders but the cap sleeves don’t feel confining.

  3. I’m a pear-shape and am looking for flattering jersey pants (joggers, trouser style, really anything). Comfortable > flattering, but I’d like to look put together and stylish at the same time. The reason behind this is that I’m really sick of jeans (too tight and restrictive in most of the styles), but I’m a casual person at heart and just can’t get behind skirts every day. Any ideas for where to look for these pants for under $100?

    1. Not jersey, but the Palisade crop from Athleta fits me perfectly. I’m a pear and need some elastic or stretch in the waist so that pants that fit in the seat don’t slide off. Athleta bottoms have become my go-to. Maybe try there? They have some that are jersey material (metro? mine is a from a past season) and most things from there I wash and then hang to dry.

    5. J Kill has a line of coordinating jersey pieces that, IIRC, includes several cuts of pants. I’ve never seen them in person, just in the catalog, so can’t attest further.

    6. Talbot’s curvy style fits me well. I’m an hourglass with hips and thighs….

  4. Love it in the green! The ruching would be flattering (hides bumps, slims the waist). The bottom half looks just a tad too stretchy and revealing for me. I wouldn’t wear to my office, but would love to for social.

  5. We are focusing on debt repayment but have around $10k in savings. We definitely want to keep it liquid (accessible within 24-48 hours at least). Where is the best place to keep this money? Currently it is in an interest bearing checking account, but I want to move it because we would be wiped out if that account got hacked. Our bank is not good about handling fraud, so I am reticent to move it to a savings account at the same institution.

    1. If you don’t trust your bank, find somewhere else and don’t keep your money there. We keep our liquid savings in an online bank account with Everbank. It doesn’t earn a ton of interest, but it’s very easy to transfer funds to our main bank and the security seems pretty solid so far.

    2. Keep it there. It should be FDIC insured if its a bank and it’s well below the limit. There is nothing better for liquidity and with only 10k of savings, you can’t expect interest worth squat. Check with the bank and remember not to share your PIN number with people on the subway.

      1. You won’t lose your money even if your bank sucks, but if you think the bank is not good at dealing with fraud, it’s best to switch. You can get your identity stolen even if you’re not careless with your PIN and having a bank that is super helpful and responsive makes a big difference in terms of how stressful it is.

    3. Er, change banks…? Not sure why you’d keep any money at a bank you don’t trust…?

    4. Not sure what your bank is, but as others say, even if you’re not personally happy for some reason, it’s probably safe. The biggest thing with fraud is to stay on top of your account and report it asap. Banks do have time limits beyond which they may not refund all your money if something happens. That said, if you’re looking for other options, I have my liquid savings in a Capital One 360 (formerly ING) account and am happy with it. The IR is nowhere near what it was when I opened it 10+ years ago, but it’s something. And it’s accessible, but not immediately, which is kinda nice.

    5. Find a higher-yield online savings account. I have one with Discover that’s .95. My main checking account is with Wells Fargo, but transfers go through in ~24 hours.

  7. I bought a CK pencil skirt at a department store out of desperation (as a part of the only navy blue skirt suit in the entire mall, what the heck, retailers???), and ended up really loving it. Does anyone know if CK stuff goes on sale a lot? I’d like to get the skirt in several other colors, but wasn’t sure if I should wait on a sale, and since I almost never shop in department stores, I’m a little lost.

    1. Don’t know about department store sales but I see CK suiting all the time at Nordstrom Rack. I bought my own CK desperation suit there last fall when I realized the night before I was to speak at an out-of-town conference that I had packed a jacket and blouse but no skirt. :/

      IIRC, the Rack had the suiting in navy, gray, black and tan, and I’ve seen CK items since then, too, but haven’t looked closely.

    2. I feel like it’s always on sale at Macy’s and Lord and Taylor, and at discount stores like Nordstrom Rack or TJ Maxx. Not sure how much you paid but I feel like I always see it for around $39.

    3. Have you checked the Macys website? They are bound to have a “sale” soon and they reliably carry the CK suiting line.

    4. A lot of the CK suiting at Macy’s is priced as “everyday value” so doesn’t go on sale. (I think anything where the price ends in .98 is considered EV)

      I see CK suiting and shells at Nordstrom Rack all the time.

    5. Macys will have a Labor Day Sale. There should be coupons around too … I get them in the mail regularly, more than I can reasonably use, because I have a store card. Also, anytime now, they will have launched their “thanks for sharing” program where for $25 (I think), you will get 10% off all your purchases (with the Macys card) from now through Dec … you get the returned cash in February as a gift card to use at macys, of course.

      They will, also, have sales for Thanksgiving and lots of discounts as the fall proceeds toward the end of the year.
      I tend to get the majority of my suits there, although I’d usually choose a pencil skirt and one of my Armani jackets from consignment shops …

  8. Long-shot travel query:

    Has anyone here been to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia? I’m trying to convince a friend who’s been invited to a conference there to go, and thinking about going with him, but he has an anxiety disorder and is super germ-phobic. Travel in the US is stressful for him, as are crowded public places, so this probably (almost certainly) would be too much, but I’m wondering what the city is actually like for visitors. Any information about nearby locations, or travel in adjacent Kenya, also would be welcome. Thanks.

    1. Why? Like srsly why? Africa is not the trip to take when you have travel anxiety even getting around your own country.

      1. Got to be kidding me. It sounds like you’re right really selfish, Trying to cop a ride with your boyfriend even though he clearly has no interest in going to such a dirty place. If you want to go fine but leave this Poor schnook at home.

          1. Just let it go…. When you respond like this you provoke more. Just, everyone…. Relax and let it go.

            I feel like a Dean at the University of Chicago. ;)

          2. You can’t really let it go, because then it just sits there as an unchallenged statement that one can interpret as carrying the tacit agreement of the community.

          3. One does as one does.

            I think that crazy things speak for themselves (so I have no more work to do).

    2. If travel in the USA is stressful for him, this would be a really bad idea.

      Are there any fun places in the USA/Canada with similar conferences he could attend?

    3. Germophobic, anxious, and travel in the 50 states stresses him out and you want to send him to the developing world, esp. Africa?? Are you just forcing this bc YOU want to go but don’t want to you alone? Find another travel partner — one who won’t be miserable/anxious the entire time . . . .

      1. Nope, it’s not my thing and not where I would choose to travel. See below – it would be an amazing opportunity and some valuable recognition for him, which he could use, but as I said probably not doable.

      2. And I probably mis-spoke when I said I’m trying to convince him. I’m just helping him explore if it’s feasible at all, it will be up to him to decide.

    4. I know, I know. But this is an unusual situation, an arts festival and conference where his work will be featured prominently, he’s been specially invited by the organizers and his travel would be paid. So not just a random idea.

      1. Definitely pass.

        Think about your friend, and put your own excitement aside. This sounds potentially awful for him, and at best…. Maybe just unjoyable.

        I’m not a fan of implosion therapy.

      3. It does sound really cool, but not doable. I just came back from a trip to Tanzania – I’ve been to India a million times with my family so I am familiar with traveling in a third world country but it was still stressful. I’m not germaphobic but allergic to just about everything in a third world country and was constantly sick and on multiple types of allergy medicine. I knew what to expect and was able to deal with it, but it would not be ideal for someone like your friend.

    5. I am personally dying to go to Africa, but I have to agree with the comments that if someone finds travel within the US stressful, Africa would be a disaster. Find a different travel partner or go on your own.

    6. My husband has been to Addis twice. He really enjoyed the visit overall, but said he could never really relax. As a white man (all his travel companions and colleagues there are African), he was stared at constantly and mildly harassed on the street.

      If your friend has anxiety around travel, my husband said the airport in Addis is the single most stressful airport he’s ever been to. He got there 4 hours early and almost missed his flight. The city has lots to offer but it is not for the faint of heart.

      2. One of my college roommates has done development work in Ethiopia (and throughout East Africa). This sounds about right. She loved it, but is a very adventurous, non-germophobic, laid-back lady. From everything I heard from her, I can’t see recommending Addis Ababa as a first-time international travel experience for someone who is already likely to have issues with anxiety and germs.

      3. I’ve traveled in West Africa, not East Africa but I’ll bite. Like emeralds’ college roommate, I normally love traveling and am the farthest thing from a germaphobe. I survived but it was overwhelming. The constant attention, people following me and touching me (if your friend isn’t white that might not be an issue because he won’t attract the same attention), the lack of proper sanitation, the confusion caused by the lack of infrastructure and resources, the bribery, etc. I would consider traveling there again if it was a career defining opportunity but even then I might pass. In fact, I recently passed up an opportunity to go to Addis Ababa in part because of my experiences in West Africa.

      4. Thanks to all of you for these helpful comments. This is someone who has traveled extensively in North America and Europe, including cold-war-era Eastern Europe, but not in some years (because: anxiety). This confirms, it’s not feasible and definitely not the place to try to resume international travel.

    7. I’m curious – to the people who are responding here (except a.k. and emeralds) saying that travel in Africa is so horrible, have you actually been to Addis Ababa? Because you know Africa is a big, diverse place right? Unless you have actual knowledge about this city, I’m not sure a knee jerk “All of Africa is the third world and not someplace OP’s friend should go” is really a helpful or particularly enlightened approach. Maybe this city is a terrible travel idea for OP’s friend, but let’s not just automatically assume that Africa = awful, shall we.

      1. I don’t think Africa is awful by any means (and nobody said it is) but I think that you can pretty safely say that all of Africa (except maybe South Africa) is much less like traveling in the US than say, Canada or Australia or most of Europe is. For many reasons – language barriers, having a different skin color than the majority of the population, the many challenges associated with travel in developing countries, to name a few. You can recognize that Africa is a diverse place while still recognizing that the continent as a whole presents challenges to an inexperienced, anxious, germophobic traveler that many other more developed places don’t. I don’t have to visit Ethopia to know that an American with limited international travel experience and a phobia of germs is going to have a lot more culture shock and stress there than he would in Australia.

          1. Yea I realized as soon as I posted that that someone would flip out at me. That actually wasn’t in my head when I wrote my initial comment. I was mainly thinking of what travel in a developing country is like (I haven’t been to Africa but I have been to SE Asia and it is NOT germaphobe-friendly), and I know Ethopia is a developing country, so that was the main reason I thought the guy shouldn’t go. But then several people made comments in the thread about white people being pointed and stared at so I added it to the list. Shouldn’t have assumed he is white though. But if he is white, that’s another reason culture shock would be stronger in Asia or Africa than in Europe.

          2. Or just not African-looking. Everything she said would also apply to Asians, Pacific Islanders, many Latinos, indigenous people, people of mixed race, and even lighter-skinned African-Americans.

        2. Also, travelling in South Africa is definitely not like travelling in the U.S., Canada or Australia.

      2. We aren’t. But we are assuming that if you can’t handle traveling to another city in the US because of your anxiety, no where in Africa is better.

    8. Two thoughts:
      (1) Can his work be displayed at this event without his presence? Can you or someone else go as his representative?
      (2) Does he have plans to work on his anxiety? It’s different, but my husband made some good progress on his anxiety re: flying through hypnosis! Really!

      1. Thanks for the response

        Yes, the work can and will be displayed without him (he’s not a performer), and there’s no need for a friend or family member to be a rep. on his behalf. I was considering going only to help him cope and because it would have been interesting; I would have liked to see him go to get back in the game and to get a much-needed boost from the positive recognition.

        And, yes, he’s been getting therapy, trying meds., etc. Hypnosis might be an idea in general, but this trip seems definitely off the table.

    9. I have not been to Addis but have been to Nairobi and surroundings. This was at a time when I was traveling frequently. I was picked up at the airport and taken to the hotel where we were staying. I also had friends on the ground who helped us arrange cabs, figure out where to stay when we extended out stay, etc. With that kind of support — which the conference staff might reasonably be willing to supply — my travel in Kenya (and, incidentally, Ghana and Nigeria) ended up pretty stress-free. I really think the presence of trusted local support would make all the difference for your friend.

      That said, I have also had travel-related anxiety rooted in PTSD from another trip. If he’s suffering from that and doesn’t have good coping strategies, any travel will be miserable, because airports and long flights are just hard for a chronically anxious body.

      Good luck to both of you!

    10. I have traveled to Addis Ababa a couple of times. Both of my parents are from there but immigrated to the US decades ago. I am born and raised in the US. Stick to only bottled water and avoid eating lettuce. Stay away from produced that may have been washed in tap water. fruit is fine if you you wash it with bottled water. The cuisine is unmatched, but I am biased. So be adventurous! It can get really cold at night so dress appropriately. Addis Ababa is very metropolitan and a true Afropilitan city. However, there is a lot of poverty alongside the skyscrapers and nightlife. Don’t be afraid. Ethiopia is a very low crime city but still be smart about travel like anywhere else.

      And minor pet peeve, people tend to refer to any travel within Africa as “Africa” even if you know the specific country or city being referred to. This is rarely done with travel to Europe. I hate this so much. The countries of Africa are just as diverse as the countries within Europe and deserve to not be lumped together.

      1. +1 to your pet peeve.

        I’ve also noticed that if someone asks about travel tips for Paris, no one weighs in and says “So I’ve been to Barcelona and I found that…”. But if someone mentions Tanzania, someone else is bound to chime in with their experiences visiting Senegal.

        Also – I remain shocked by the number of people who have responded to my telling them I visited “South Africa” with “Cool! Which country?”. That country.

        1. I’ve noticed this language behavior often here and have bitten my tongue in the past. But I had to finally say something when used about Ethiopia. We could all be more thoughtful about our language and confront our biases.

      2. This bugs me too. I’ve never been to anywhere in Africa and generally haven’t traveled as much as I’d like. I’ve picked up a lot of general knowledge about travel to Europe, Asia, and South America from internet and cultural osmosis but “Africa” is just one big blur to me because its so rare for anyone to differentiate which country/region/city they went to/are going to.

    11. I’ve never been outside of the airport, but the Addis Ababa airport is not for the faint-of-heart. I travel often, and I found that airport disorienting and chaotic every time I have flown through. So many people and so little direction. There also is never anyone to help or answer questions in the gate areas.

      I didn’t feel it was more dirty or germy than any other airport though. Airports and airplanes are dirty places. Bring some Sani-wipes and hand sanitizer and you will be fine on that front.

  9. All of a sudden I have a 12 hour layover in London – tomorrow. I know I can take the Heathrow Express train to Paddington station, but what would be a good museum to visit nearby? Other ideas?

      1. +1 it’s free and it’s awesome. Also neat to check out Trafalgar Square etc while you’re in the area.

    2. 12 hours total? or 12 hours with travel. With travel you probably have then about 7 hours because you will have to get out of the airport through customs and into the city so thats 1.5 hours taken up, and then you will want to get the airport 2 hours before your flight + plus travel back time so thats looking like 3 hours.

      Have you been here before?
      If you haven’t one idea is to go to the Tower of London. Budget about 2-3 hours to see it fully.
      Walk across the Tower Bridge and down the south bank until you get to Borough Market and get a toastie at Kappacasein. Get other delicious food. Walk down the rest of South Bank until you get to Tate Modern. Go up to the 9th floor of Tate Modern and have a cream tea. Go back to the airport.

      Another Idea:
      Depending on when you arrive do an afternoon tea – see if sketch can fit you in! Go to Liberty London and then wander around Hyde Park because the weather is supposed to be decent.

      There are a ton of museums of course that you can explore. British Library has a great free manuscript room. My favorite museum is probably the Churchill War Rooms but I would boomy tickets now. This will take up 3 of your hours.

      1. You can also have tea at Harrod’s and just wander around the store. It’s amazing. Especially the fancy dresses.

      2. Yeah, getting through immigration at Heathrow recently took me 1.75 hours on a Saturday morning and 1.5 hours on a Tuesday night, so your 12 hours window could shrink rapidly.

    3. Take the Heathrow express to the Victoria and Albert Museum– it has a bit of everything (I love the jewelery and glass display), and is not as huge as the British museum — I enjoyed the food in the gorgeous Victorian cafe rooms. Outside, there are some shops. This is what I would do and I have visited London as a tourist eight times. Btw, the V&A is a museum that houses everything from sculpture, stained glass, textiles, etc.

    4. Churchill War Rooms….and then maybe spend time in Hyde Park/St James Park (cannot recall which one is closest).

  10. Is it my imagination or are their fewer petite styles than usual on the Boden website? Boo! I’ve been waiting till my size settled down post-BF’ing to order from Boden and now there are fewer options for my 5’1″ self…

  11. Morning all~would any Chicago ‘rettes mind weighing in on what it’s like to live there? (Likes/dislikes) Trying to decide on a move there and I’ve only been a couple of times. Also, any ideas on how competitive the legal market is? The move would be for me, DH, and baby. TIA!

    1. There were a few discussions on this over the last week or so, so if you missed them, I’d suggest searching the recent comments. The bottom line seemed to be: If you don’t mind having very short spring/fall and a long winter, it’s a great place to live.

      Anyway, a little more info would be helpful if you want more specific advice — where will you be working? What kind of a home do you want (suburban vs. urban)? How long / what kind of a commute are you looking to have?

    2. Someone posted a thread about this last week in the comments, I’d search it on this s*te, good advice.

        1. google “s!te:corpore**e.com [whatever you want to search]”

          replace ! with an “i” and the * with t’s, obviously.

    3. Where are you coming from? Where are your family?

      Likes: city culture, beautiful/clean/huge city on a lake, relatively reasonable cost of living (c/w NYC, DC, Boston, SF….), seasons

      Dislikes: segregation, too many Midwesterners, rents are rising quickly, poor schools, terrible statewide financial mismanagement, long winters

        2. Yeaaaaaaaaaaa. Can you imagine if you replaced this with a religion or ethnicity? “Too many black people,” “too many Jews.” yeah, no.

      2. Too many Midwesterners? So, does that mean they’re just being too polite, or helpful, or just quietly getting on with life. Never mind that Chicago is part of the Midwest, If I said that NY had too many Eastcoasters would that make any sense? Nope.

        1. Forgive me for trying to do quick bullet points. I am born and bred in Chicago and live there now. It is full of Midwest transplants, and is not as integrated with folks from all over the country like many other large cities of its size are. For people who enjoy big cities and the diversity they have to offer Chicago can be frustrating. For some people that is a neg, for others a positive. And even though it is full of immigrants, the city is very segregated.

          I have lived in major cities in the east and west coasts.

          And let me now go sacrifice my first born….

          1. So “Too many Midwesterners” is a bullet point for “segregated and not really diverse”?

            I can see where people got confused.

          2. As a native midwesterner, I knew exactly what you meant and was not offended at all. She was using “too many midwesterners” as shorthand for “unlike the atmosphere in other cities of its size, the people you’re likely to encounter mostly all come from the same background as each other, which can feel stifling.” Honestly, this is the main reason I didn’t move to Chicago when I went to law school. I wanted to meet people from all over, and Chicago wasn’t a good place for that.

          3. To me, too many midwesterners means not enough westerners, easterners, southerners etc..

            I read this without problem. I live in the midwest.

            I guess I don’t feel like an oppressed group, and usually try to read what people write in the best light.

          4. I live in Chicago and I am from the midwest originally (Indiana) and I totally agree with too many midwesterners here. :)

        2. As a person who moved to a midwestern city (not Chicago) after having lived most of my life in coastal big cities, the culture shock was huge. Bring your baby photo to work day for an identity competitiion was revealing, as I had never seen so many blond children at once in life. There were also coworkerrs who occasionally made rude comments about Asian food, poor white people, and who knows what else when I was not around. Some had limited diets that appeared to be related to lack of broader cultural exposure. Many had never left the area, and had families that went back for generations. Like many insular communities, it’s great support and comfort for those who conform, and difficult for those who don’t.

          Many midwesterners are polite, but indifferent or hostile to outsiders. There is a difference between nice and kind.

      3. clearly you guys don’t want me in this community.

        Good-by

        Signed,

        Doc who answers all of your medical questions

        1. This reaction is exactly why I hate internet boards. You said something offensive, people called you on it, and you’re now acting as though people have driven to your house and told you you’re a terrible person.

        2. Good grief, nobody said they don’t want you in this community. You said something offensive and people called you out. Just apologize and move on.

        3. Just as you expect people to give you the benefit of the doubt when you use shorthand phrasing, it is also good to give other people the benefit of the doubt when they question that phrasing. Makes things go smoother all the way around, and cuts down on drama.

    4. I believe there was a thread about this last week that was quite good! I think the OP asked how Chicago compared to NYC? Might not be exactly what you’re looking for. Just thought I’d let you know.

    5. Native Chicagoan here and I practice both in Illinois and in California. Check the thread from last week about living, but I will speak to the legal market. It is competitive in a good way. Now in 2016, there are more jobs popping up and the compensation will be on par with NYC, but with a much lower cost of living so you are effectively earning more money. I worked in biglaw and Chicago was a very elite office, just not as frantic and miserable as NYC. Among other biglaw firms, Chicago will be regarded as on-par with NYC in terms of quality, so you will be getting big cases. We had clients from all over – essentially NYC and LA offices had their immediate surrounding areas pretty well mined, but Chicago got clients from everywhere else: Florida, Texas, Seattle, Ohio, international, etc. As for competition, there are plenty of Ivy/H/Y/S grads, but then there are a lot of top law schools nearby with Chicago being the best market in the area: Michigan, Northwestern, UChicago, Wash U, U of I, as well as a few more in the city that have a local advantage. After DC, I believe LA has the most saturated legal market, and NYC is really competitive, too, so it is still competitive, but that is mostly for new grads and that is changing.

      One thing of note: Chicagoans (whether by birth or by adoption) L-O-V-E Chicago, so if you are interviewing they will want to see that you intend to stay in Chicago, so I would really play up any roots you have (family, went to school, buying a home in X neighborhood, etc.) because that means a lot to them – even in biglaw. By the way, you don’t even have to have family IN Chicago, just anywhere ‘nearby’ in the midwest will do for them! If you are looking at more regional, mid-sized firms, they will look even harder for a local tie.

    6. Reposting my novel from last week on this:

      I have lived in Chicago for all of my adult life (and grew up in the suburbs). However, I went to college at a school that drew people from around the country/world, and I think that has greatly impacted my social scene here. Most of my friends are transplants who have bought places and are committed to Chicago long-term. I met many of them through undergrad or through loose undergrad connections. Also, I work at a company that has a lot of transplants, so I feel like the odd one out for being a native.

      I agree with what everyone above has said re: weather. Winters are really rough. Plan a February or March vacation to make it through. The unrelenting combination of gray days, snow, and below freezing temps makes me question why I live here each year — and I say this as someone who loves seasons. Fortunately, fall is absolutely beautiful here, though, and summers are lovely and lively.

      As for the diversity thing, while the city as a whole is diverse, you’d never know it spending time in most trendy neighborhoods. You have to make an effort to get outside of the bubble of popular neighborhoods. Few areas feel truly integrated.

      Agree that certain north side neighborhoods are way too fratty if you’re not a sports and beer loving type (I am most definitely not!). That can feel like the default here.

      COL is great. I live in a $1200 1 BR with parking and in-unit w/d. However, my commute is 45 minutes. I don’t mind at all because it’s a pleasant ride on the brown line and I get some walking in on both ends of the train ride, but that may be too long for some.

      There is endless housing variety, like most big cities. I live in a leafy, quiet neighborhood with a very residential feel, but if you want 3-flats, high-rises, or anything else, you’ll find it.

      I struggle with the cosmopolitan thing. It’s not NYC, true. It is noticeably less international than SF or DC. still, you can find those pockets by getting involved with the right activities.

      Cultural scene is amazing, especially in fall.

      The last 5-10 years have seen the rise of a real tech scene here. Lots of startups and digital firms. Check out 1871 to learn more.

      I think the city has undergone a transformation in the last 15 years. It feels much glossier and prettier downtown. The additions of the riverwalk and millennium Park have revived the Loop, bringing much more foot traffic and high-end residential to that area. More companies are moving their headquarters from the suburbs to downtown. The downtown area feels robust and thriving in a way it definitely did not when I was younger.

      Speaking very generally, my impression is that while poorer people have been leaving the city (we had a net loss of people last year), we are getting a lot more wealthy people at the urban core.

      Phew. Sorry for the novel. Hope this is helpful, and I’m happy to answer any other questions. Good luck!

    7. I love-love-loved living in Chicago, but I had a h*ll of a time breaking into the legal market. Just last week I was looking through my emails and I found one I had forwarded to my husband, and it brought back all the memories. Basically it was someone in big law in Chicago (I was networking my butt off after we moved there) telling me that I really didn’t have much chance of finding a job because my credentials (NY big law, top of class at a top 5 law school, academic awards) weren’t good enough. A Chicago recruiter told me the same thing. I have no idea what else I could have done, but I think maybe they wanted more *local* prestigious experience?

      Your experience might be totally different since it’s 5 years later, and maybe you aren’t as new to your career as I was (about 5 years out of school).

      Anyway, I ended up doing doc review for a bit (good thing the COL was so low!), then working for small firms where I got great experience but not great pay (and no benefits).

      It seems like the market was glutted with young, desperate attorneys. One of the small firms replaced me with an admitted attorney who was working for $12/hour. Twelve. They hired him in 2014 at that rate.

      1. +1

        One of my parents worked at one of the major international Firms that were centered in Chicago for decades.

        Very old boys club, and they really like the local law schools as feeders. There are a lot of law schools just in Chicago alone, although of differing caliber. But hey… the ex-Mayor went to DePaul and DePaul alumns like Depaul alumns. It doesn’t matter if your law school is higher up on “the list”, if you know what I mean.

        It is really crazy, but even if you have an outstanding pedigree, a local who did well at a local law school and can get an introduction through connections (easier to do when you grow up here) will usually trump.

        I would reach out to folks at your current firm and search for connections they have in Chicago. Any introduction can help.

        1. Hi, I’ve been using the lawsuited handle for 5 years, and I didn’t write this.

    8. Thanks so much, all! I didn’t see the previous discussion; I will be sure to check it out. Thanks also for all of the replies today–much appreciated.

    9. I really like living in Chicago. I grew up in the Midwest, lived on the East coast and moved back around 5 years ago. The cost of living is high (for the Midwest) but affordable. There are many nice neighborhoods within a 45 minute commute from downtown on the train.

      Agree with other posts that it is terribly segregated. If you are a person of color (unless you are Asian) you will definitely stick out if you live in a north side neighborhood.

  12. Recs for an app that assists with budgeting and financial planning? My cousin just bought a truck outright with money she saved up. It’s not brand new but it is only a few years old. She makes a third of what I do, we live in the same area and neither of us gets help from our parents or anyone else, yet I am just scraping by at the end of the month. I have no savings and couldn’t imagine having cash to buy a vehicle like she has done. This has been a huge wake up call for me and I realize that I need to get my ducks in a row and plan better. I already know I spend way to much on Starbucks and eating out and there are probably other things I spend too much on without realizing it.

    If anyone can suggest an app that helps to get finances planned and organized I would appreciate it. I plan on seeing a financial advisor but I would like to get a bit organized before I do. TIA!

    1. You Need A Budget – basically an electronic envelope system. There’s a web-based program for the planning (I access via my computer), but a phone app to help track spending.

      2. +5 thousand. YNAB also has great forums and online resources. I would also recommend reading through Mr. Money Moustache and Frugalwoods to get a financial planning jolt–they’re both great resources for reframing thinking around budgets and frugality. (MMM can be pretty preachy and in-your-face, but I just internally eyeroll at his more off-the-wall recommendations.) I try to think of my budget not in terms of deprivation, but in terms of making sure that my money is working towards the things that I really value and want to mindfully invest in. Like, would I rather spend $15/week on Starbucks, or direct those funds towards the Boden dress in this post? Definitely the dress.

    2. Read Mr Money Mustache. The forum where people list their monthly spending and ask for advice will be eye opening for you.

    3. If you are looking to track day-to-day spending, I use the My Budget app to track the “fun money” category of my budget (I input all restaurant, clothing, cosmetic, etc. spending on a daily basis). I use an Excel spreadsheet to track our actual budget. I wrote down and totaled every single monthly expense (mortgage, car payments, insurance, retirement, utilities, subscription services, gym payments, monthly grocery expense, the aforementioned “fun money,” etc.). I then added up mine and my husband’s monthly incomes and deducted our total monthly expenses from that to find out what our leftover money is every month. If we have any unexpected expenses during a month (car repair), I record those and deduct them from the leftover money. At the end of the month, whatever is left either goes towards debt or savings, depending on what our current focus is.

    4. ++++ 1000 Very enthusiastically cosign YNAB- it’s amazing and super user friendly and they have forums that are useful too.

    5. Dave Ramsey’s financial baby steps are awesome for getting your finances in order, even if you decide not to use his cash-only, envelope method. I’ve used the envelope method for budgeting on and off. It works really well when I actually sit down at the start of the month and map everything out, prepare my envelopes, etc. (I’m sure that’s true for all budgets! Discipline of actually doing it is key).

    6. Kudos to you for wanting to get your financial ducks in a row.

      On another note, I have noticed a lot of people here comparing themselves to others (i.e. a cousin who makes a lot less bought a house in a LCOL area, she stays at home and her husband makes half of what I do, etc.) and I just want to say (1) comparison is the theif of joy, run your own race at your own pace, and (2) those people could still be making lousy financial decisions for themselves – you have no idea!

      All this is to say, good for you for wanting to save more! But don’t get upset comparing yourself to others’ milestones. :)

      1. I appreciate what you are saying and you are right.

        The reason it was a wakeup call for me is because my cousin and I live in the same city. We are both on our own when it comes to finances (independent from parents or any else). We both graduated from college at the same time and started our jobs the same month and neither of us had any debt at that time.

        Fast forward a few years and I have some maxed out credit cards, I make minimum payments on everything, I barely scrape by every month. Meanwhile she has no debt and has saved enough to buy a three year old truck outright, while making a third of what I make.

        It’s not so much keeping up with her, it’s more realizing that my financial situation is messed up and I need to fix it now. There is no reason for me not to have anything saved. When I saw the truck is was surprised she could afford the payments and was gobsmacked when I found out she bought it outright without a loan. Meanwhile I am barely getting by. I definitely need to change things.

        1. Good for you.

          Remember, you are young. You have a good job. You have plenty of time. And you have seen the light!

          While you start reading, step back and look carefully at your biggest expenses. Where you live/rent, car payments/insurance/transportation to work, and credit card debt. These will often give the greatest rewards once they are optimized.

          Then start making your lunch, start cooking at home, and put a halt on impulse buying until you figure out what you can afford.

          Remember, lots of fixed expenses are negotiable. You can move, and use public transportation. You can get rid of an expensive car you can’t afford. You can negotiate down or switch your insurance/cell phone plan etc.. You can switch from the pricey gym to a cheaper one or start exercising at home.

          It’s all priorities.

          But start with consolidating your credit card debit, and throwing everything at that. Considering moving.

          One step at a time. Good luck!

    7. I use Goodbudget which is similar to YNAB but FREE! Have just passed four years of recording every penny I spend and earn and it’s been so useful.

    8. Thanks for the advice and encouragement everyone. I will check those things out.

    9. Someone on this site recommended Pear Budget dot com and I have been really happy with it. Very simple and easy.

  13. I have short legs and a long torso (if I’m sitting down I look like I’d be tall, but when I stand up all is revealed).

    When people talk about long waisted vs short waisted…which one am I? The terms are not intuitive for me.

    And, being built thus, when I’ve tried Boden the proportions have been off. Are all Boden dresses built for the opposite leg/torso length from me, or have I had bad luck and should try again? I really like the way they look.

    2. Long torso is typically long-waisted.
      Short torso is typically short waisted. From what I’ve heard, Boden is skewed towards short-waisted women (like me). My natural waist (where I bend if I tilt to the side at the waist) is really high – like just under my b00bs.

    3. Long waisted. I’m built similarly and haven’t had any luck with the few Boden items I’ve tried, but I haven’t given up yet.

      1. I’m long-waisted, and I have good luck with their A-Line dresses. Seamed dresses hit me too high. If I love the dress, I’ve gotten one in a Tall and had the hem raised.

      2. I’m long-torso’d in comparison to my leg-length (5’6″, 30″ inseam) and Boden dresses are great for a conservative work fit. I avoid midi-dresses (like ASOS’s) like the plague because they jack up my proportions by visually further shortening my legs, but have never had an issue with Boden’s.

    4. I have very long legs and a short-to-average torso, and I find that Boden fits me very strangely and doesn’t look right. I’ve bought so much stuff from there, because it always looks really cute on the models but I’ve only kept one item and I literally never wear it. I think Boden just doesn’t fit a large segment of the population.

    5. Check the distance between your bottom rib and your hip bone. That’s how you can tell if you are long or short waisted. Long waisted means your rib and hip bone are far apart.

    7. I am 5’9″ and very long-waisted. Boden dresses generally work well for me (though I have not yet found a top from them that fits well). I order the tall sizes.

  14. Gift ideas that would go with a picture frame besides a nice photo to put inside?
    I have to go to an aunt’s birthday party and got her a nice frame but would like to add something small to it (~$20 or so). Drawing a total blank and don’t want to get something completely disjointed.

    1. My mother has over 100 picture frames in her basement. All ready for re-gifting.

      I am now of the belief that you shouldn’t give a picture frame anymore unless it is filled with a pcture of your newborn baby or is a digital frame.

      But if you must, just get a bottle of wine or sparkling cider, or pick up an orchid from Trader Joe’s….

      1. Ha, I agree and honestly I don’t care if the frame gets regifted. Although this is also someone who has a lot of pictures that she likes to frame and display so I suspect it may actually be a keeper.

        The whole thing is a last minute plan (I didn’t realize she’d be in town) where I am expected to bring a gift because the recipient would be offended if i didn’t but where she does not need anything and I don’t want to spend a lot of money on something that has at best a 50/50 chance of not getting regifted regardless of what it is.

          1. Agree.

            Don’t get other small things that she probably doesn’t need. Keep it simple.

            This is actually a scenario where a card with short but thoughtful hand-written message is perfect.

          3. Yes, wrap it beautifully and add a nicer-than-average card and you’re good to go.

    4. Would she be amused at the idea of a selfie stick?

      Other ideas: Nice teas, coffee table book about design or some subject she likes a lot, a good bar of chocolate, delicious seasonal jam/honey, coasters?

  15. Has anyone here hiked half dome? BF and I are set to go in a few days. Looking for any last minute advice or tips. We have been training for a few months, are brining 4 liters of water each and lots of food, have gloves for the cables, and are planning to start around 4 am so we don’t feel rushed.

    I’m still debating whether we should bring trekking poles. We haven’t trained with them, but I have a friend who used them on the hike for the first time and found them immensely helpful. BF thinks we don’t need them. (If we decide to get some we will probably just rent them).

    I would love to read about experiences from anyone who has done this or similar hikes. TIA!

    1. I’ve done it. You sound super prepared. Nobody in our group used trekking poles, so I’d skip them especially if you haven’t trained with them.

    2. I have not done half dome, but I find that hiking poles are useful for hikes that involve a dramatic elevation change or unstable footing. They take some of the weight off your legs, if that is a concern, and make you more stable so you can move more quickly. I would take them if you have bad knees or ankles or bad balance. I like poles because I feel more secure descending with them and I feel like it cuts down on the effort you need to ascend by a lot, but if that is not an issue for you then I would pass. If you do rent, before you leave the store check how you will secure them to your pack when not in use. Also, you can check youtube to learn how to use them the most efficient way.

      2. Agree with this. My husband and I always use hiking poles on steep hikes that will have some uneven footing. I don’t think a lot of training with them is necessary, although I think it’s important to get them to the right length, but that’s pretty easy, and the youtube suggestion above is a good one. Plus, they collapse when you don’t need them (again, suggestion above about securing them to your bag is a good one). Have fun!!

    3. You seem pretty prepared, so forgive me if this is “duh” territory for you, but just so you don’t get a disappointing surprise: do you have your permit?

    4. No, but I did to the top of Nevada Falls a couple of weeks ago (on the way up to Half Dome), and I could see how hiking poles would be useful coming back down. I am admittedly not in great shape (or probably even good shape), but my weaker knee was killing me by the time we got back to the bottom–the down seemed worse than the up on the knees, even though we went down the easier trail (we went up Mist Trail, down John Muir trail).

      1. I do not have bad knees and trained for months to survive Half Dome because I was a non-exerciser previously. I would have loved hiking poles on the way back down with all the stairs, but I don’t think there’s any reason to get them if you’re not used to using them. I did not have hiking poles and I was really sore the next few days, but it was ok.

        Lots and lots and lots of water, sunscreen, hand sanitizer, cheap gardening gloves. Hat. Consider also biodegradable toilet paper in case you need to pee along the route and are far from the potties, and some biodegradable doggie poo bags to take the paper with you until you get back to the potties. Leave the gloves there on the stinky glove pile once you get down from the dome.

    5. In my experience the best way to hike half done is overnight with a full moon, arriving at the top at sunrise. We didn’t even need headlamps. No crowds. Pack a thermos if you take that approach.

    6. We hiked Half-Dome 2 years ago – it was amazing! I think you sound really prepared, but I would definitely bring hiking sticks. DH and I bought a set (cheap from Walmart!!) and each carried one. It helps immensely on the downhill sections (which is essentially the entire way back). Also, we took the Muir Trail on the way down. Its a little longer but avoids all the awful stairs on the Mist Trail. My knees thanked me for it.

      Wear layers and bring a hat and gloves. It was hot on parts of the trail but it was also really chilly in some parts. I was glad for a hat and gloves. My DH was sad he didn’t have any.

      For food, I liked snacks I could keep in my pocket and eat while I was walking. We did have a sit-down lunch with scrambled egg bagel sandwiches and fruit, but it was helpful to have trail mix and granola bars for my pocket to snack on to keep my energy up. If you don’t have a Camelbak, I found that useful as well since the “straw” part is constantly available and you don’t have to stop to drink.

      Lastly, I descended the Dome backwards (like climbing down a ladder) and felt MUCH more comfortable that way. It’s much steeper than it looks in videos. Just something to think about.

      You will do great – it’s a tough climb but so rewarding and beautiful. Also, despite the large number of people on the actual Dome, we hiked in peace and quiet for the majority of the trip. It was lovely. Have fun!!

    7. We have done up to the start of the cables, we have also done Nevada and vernal falls and just a few weeks ago we hike the John Muir trail out of tuolomne meadows — everyone carries poles.

  16. My soon-to-be husband is very very DIY. He bought a falling-down house and essentially rebuilt it himself. He’s super handy and impressive with a lot of work, but larger projects are often half-a$$ed because he wants things done quickly and has a “good enough” mindset. We have a ton of home improvements to make, and I would love to outsource a lot of it. We make plenty of money, and he outsources larger projects (plumbing, major renos, etc). But in general his attitude is “why would I pay someone to do this if I can do it almost as well myself?” He also loves this kind of work (though sometimes it’s stressful because he is a lawyer with very little free time)!

    Some recent examples. We have done a lot of painting recently that hasn’t turned out well. He thinks prep work is a waste of time, and just paints over dirt and dust. No filling of holes, uneven walls, etc. It really doesn’t look good. Like, there are dog hairs visibly painted into the walls. Dripped paint, uneven edge work, etc.

    We have a major rat problem outside that is slowly moving inside. He thinks an exterminator is a waste of money, and insists on doing it all himself. Putting out traps and poison, but not filling holes in the walls – “there are more holes than we could ever fill, so it’s a waste of time.” So far he has only killed one rat.

    This is just a handy work issue, and he’s not generally so stubborn. We outsource a lot – laundry, cleaning, grocery delivery. He is just extremely proud of his handy skills. This is pretty much the only thing we fight about regularly. He gets hurt if I suggest hiring people, and he takes the house so personally. I can understand. I take great pride in my cooking, for example, and if he complained regularly that it wasn’t very good, my feelings would be hurt. Also, good painters, exterminators, etc doing this amount of work, would be several thousand bucks. So he has a point.

    Is this just a ‘cost of admission’? Do you have any ideas for compromise? Do I just need to suck it up and stop being such a perfectionist? Because it’s awesome and s*xy to have a man who can do this kind of work. But when there are rats in my basement and grime painted into my walls, it’s pretty gross.

    1. I’d fight about this. Sorry. I like an impeccable home and rats and dog hairs painted into the wall and dripped paint and uneven edge work isn’t it. Sorry. He is a hobbyist and I’d tell him over and over that the house will be done by a professional. Maybe give him one room or garage that he can mess around with if he needs to tinker, but the rest of the house should be professionally done esp since you can afford it.

    2. The exterminator is not negotiable. I could live with everything else and I think imperfect paint jobs could be a price of admission. I could not live with RATS in my HOUSE.

      Let me repeat: RATS in your HOUSE. You do not “suck it up” if there are LITERAL RATS in your LITERAL HOUSE.

      1. OMG we had rats in the house and it’s all fun and games until the night they decide to have a gigantic rat party in the attic right above where you sleep. Also they are incredibly destructive. They ate two dining room chairs and a pair of Italian loafers. You MUST get an exterminator and you MUST have the exterminator fill the holes. Srsly. They can eat your wiring and then you will be in a world of hurt.

        I would also take a stand on the painting. If he refuses to prep, maybe you can compromise by hiring someone to do the prep and letting him do the actual painting.

      2. My hubby is the same. Claims he wants to do home repairs but is 1) slow at starting them 2) doesnt finish them timely and 3) doesn’t do them as well as a pro would. Now, I” cheat” on him with handy men when he travels, which, conveniently (for this), he does frequently. Often he wont even notice the problem or the solution and I’ve taken care of it. When he does notice the problem and lays claim to fix it, I say, okay, if its done well within 30 days its yours, but if its still broken in a month, I’m calling somebody. 4 out of 5 times I call somebody. Good luck. Our conselor explained it to me: he gets to do what he wants (say he feels like fixing something) but I get to do what I want (pay someone to fix it) — and its not reasonable/fair for him to say he wants to fix it but then not actually do it.

    3. Well, this is really a question for you, and what your “costs of admission” are.

      For me, this would not be okay and I’d need to have a talk with SO about this. I’d love to have a “handy” husband. But it doesn’t really sound like your SO is actually handy. I would definitely not be okay with the result of his “handiness” being that our house is messed up and has rats. Maybe (and this could be a long shot, as I don’t know him), your SO could sort of re-channel his handiness and start building things, like coffee tables or bookshelves, from wood. But leave the actual house to professionals.

      So, I’d suggest that you have a deep talk with yourself about what you can handle in the long-term, and then figure out if/how you want to approach it with SO.

      2. Do you know how much dirt a wood shop generates? My DH is handy and has a wood shop with a shop vac. He cleans (“cleans”) before and after he does anything in his wood shop. There are still shavings and saw dust and just plan old dirt and mold all over the place. (OK well maybe not ALL over the place but more than I want to be around). It’s like a ceramics studio, there’s just going to be dust no matter how much you clean. If OP’s DH cannot clean dog hair off the walls, then do not encourage him to do anything with wood. He can maybe knit or something.

    4. I’d insist on an exterminator for the rats. That’s a health issue. The other stuff, I guess it depends on how much it bothers you. I would insist on outsourcing it too, probably. Yes, it costs money but you say you make plenty, so I don’t really think the $$ is a factor. It’s just his pride that’s at issue, but if he’s not doing stuff right, he needs to overcome his pride. It’s only comparable to him saying your cooking sucks if you’re serving him raw chicken every night, which I assume you’re not. This isn’t a matter of preference or someone doing something satisfactorily but maybe a professional could do it slightly better. He’s not doing a minimally acceptable job.

      1. +1 It really doesn’t sound like he’s doing a minimally acceptable job. It really sounds like he’s too impatient to take the time to do things right.

        I do some home repair myself when it’s not a big deal and 1) my crappy job would be easy to fix in the event I decide to sell or 2) it wouldn’t affect the value of the home. Rat holes in the walls and dog hair in the paint …? Affect the value of the house. And are gross. Really big emphasis on the gross.

        I really do not think you need to suck this up.

      1. This. Rats are a health issue. It’s dirty and gross to paint dirt and dog hair into the walls.

        Can he build himself a workshop/shed in the backyard while you let contractors handle the house?

    7. He’s not really “super handy” if he isn’t doing the job right. And he’s not saving time or money in the long run if, in order to sell this house or make it livable for you, you end up hiring a professional to redo everything. For the rats, that’s an immediate call to the exterminator (and why are there so many holes in your walls???). For other projects that he should be able to tackle, now’s a great time (before you’re married) to lay out your expectations: he can do the DIY projects as long as he does them correctly — which means washing the walls, prepping appropriately, not skipping steps, understanding his limitations, agreeing to call in a professional when a job runs grossly over time / budget or beyond his skills.

    8. I agree with others – this isn’t a simple price of admission. Rats in your home are a health issue and rats and damaged walls are a home value issue. If he wants to ‘suck it up’ for health reasons, maybe focus on the home value: “Sweetheart, we need to protect the value of our home and should hire professional help on this. We just need to do it once and we can maintain from then on, but we cannot get rid of the rats on our own. I take so much pride in this home and don’t want to see it diminished by pests.” Tackle that first and then address the damaged walls, etc. because of the same reason.

    9. What does he do for a living? I often have to remind my husband that I wouldn’t go to a neurosurgeon for heart surgery when justifying the reason we hire people who are professionals at what they do. We’re both in fields where people without expertise think they can do the work themselves and they often end up paying us more to fix the problem than they would have if they’d come to us first.

    10. Your husband is exactly like my father.

      It isn’t going to change, unfortunately. Price of admission.

      BUT you can choose your battles wisely. When raccoons moved into my Dad’s attic he finally agreed the pros had to come in to remove them etc… When potential disease/health is at stake, that’s where you draw your line.

      And then…. Let it go.

    11. NOOO. I work for a pest control company and if someone calls for rats we get out there the same day, within hours. The burrows outside need to be treated, not to scare you but there’s more work involved than just putting out bait. A really good inspector (and often inspections are free) should be able to identify where they are coming in.

      If you’re concerned about price- call around. I’m in a NYC suburb and our yearly contract starts at $550 and includes treating for rats. Actual construction would be more

    12. Could you get your house appraised and show him what this is doing to the value of the house? It sounds like the house is kind of in shambles, to be honest, and he may be shocked to learn it’s worth much less than what he expected because of his bad DIY-ing.

    13. I’d also insist on an exterminator with rats.
      Your description of his painting doesn’t make him sound very handy, honestly. Proper prep work is an essential part of painting and he’s missing that and the attention to detail that’s needed with edges/trim. Maybe it’s just a bad example and he’s really good with tile installation or something. Being handy doesn’t mean you have to be good at everything so I encourage him to outsource the tasks that he finds tedious as well as those that are way beyond his skill set.
      -signed, several doors in my house are covered in wood putty and dust while my husband slowly preps them for re-painting.

      1. Right. I can’t imagine describing myself as handy if I didn’t even know how to properly paint a wall. That’s kind of DIY 101, I think. I’m skeptical he can tackle any bigger projects successfully if he can’t even paint.

    14. Is your husband TJ from Gilmore Girls? Because he sounds about that handy (in other words, NOT HANDY AT ALL, for those of you who haven’t seen the show).

    15. Painting the walls might be a price of admission thing, but not the rats.

      My DH is very handy and very stubborn. He takes it personally when I want to hire someone. Our AC broke on the hottest day of the year and he was pouty that I insisted he call someone instead of trying to do it himself. My/our rule is that, except in emergencies or dangerous things, he gets to try first and if it’s not done either in a time frame or at a quality level that I’m happy with, we hire someone. So for painting the walls, he gets the first crack at it, but if there are dog hairs or whatever, then I’m hiring someone to redo it.

      A couple of additional points about the rats – 1) once they’re in, you need a professional to get them out. It’s dangerous and a layperson just doesn’t have the knowledge to get them all out. 2) He simply doesn’t have time to keep up with it. You need to stay on top of pest prevention. It’s worth it to pay a service $100/quarter or whatever it is rather than someone (you) bearing the emotional labor of remembering to follow up on it and then finding time to do it when it needs to be done. 3) LIABILITY. A layperson should not be putting out poison or traps. You could easily harm or kill a neighborhood pet or even a small child. You do not want that liability to be solely on your shoulders. Hire someone so you have at least some cover.

    16. Option 1: just hire an exterminator and be there when the exterminator gets there. No explanation or justification given or needed. I mean, rats.

      Option 2: I am horrible at this one. Focus on the good stuff – how sexy it is that he can do a lot, how hard he works at his lawyer job, how impressed you are with his skills. Then don’t say anything remotely mean or derogatory, but frame it as “he’s stretched too thin and it’s money well spent to just get stuff done right.” Don’t say that it’s gross that dog hair is painted on the walls (even though it is); just say that it is one of those “big jobs” that should be outsourced.

      And if you can, diplomatically point out that it costs a sh*tload more money to fix something done badly than it would to just pay a professional in the beginning. As in, get an estimate for redoing the walls and exterminating once the rats really move in.

    17. I’d call an exterminator today. “Sorry honey, you tried, it isn’t working, and I’m not living with rats.”

    18. I don’t know if it’s a price of admission thing or not, but it definitely needs to be a discussion. You mentioned that this is his house, which makes it a more difficult situation. What’s the plan when you’re married, will you be added to the deed, do you feel like you don’t have standing to call out his sh*tty work because it’s his house?

      Also – there’s just no excuse for half-assing home improvement. This is coming from someone who started pretty unhandy and spent half of last night putting up drywall at my old house. If I can learn to do things right, so can he.

    19. What? No. My partner is handy and we DIY essentially everything. But painting dirt on to the walls? That is unacceptable. Rats in the freakin house? That is hella unacceptable. You need to chat about expectations – as in, for you, living with rats is unacceptable. Also, point out how different seasons in life bring about the ability to do different projects. Right now, as a busy professional, he can do smaller projects really well. That’s great! But doing major DIY projects is not appropriate right now for his season of life.

  17. Dumb question. I’ve never done any color with my hair, but recently I’ve been wanting to shake up my hair game without a drastic cut. How do I find a good person to do some highlights or balayage-type stuff? I like the person who is now cutting my hair, but I’ve only seen her once and she’s in a very no-frills, unisex-type place and I don’t know how to like…vet her for coloring ability. Can I make an appointment with someone if they’re not also cutting my hair? How does this even work? This is How to Adult Woman knowledge that I’m completely missing. Please advise.

    1. I’ve gone to different cut and color people before. You might check Yelp or Angie’s List in your area, or ask friends for recs.

    2. You definitely can see different stylists at different salons for cutting and colouring. Stylists have their strengths, one stylist can’t necessarily do everything. It’s completely normal to see different stylists.

    3. Look around your life (work and personal) and identify people who’s hair you like. Ask them who does it. I have actually done this to random strangers too. That’s how I found the girl who does my color now, and she is a wizard. For real. And yes, you can totally do color and cut with separate people. I am so much more particular about my color than the cut.

      1. Ha! I’m glad I’m not the only one who asks random strangers who does their hair. I found my current stylist by asking opposing counsel who cut hers during a depo break a few years back.

    4. Okay, thanks! I don’t know anyone here whose color jobs I particularly admire, so I will do some Yelp searches and see what I come up with.

  18. I would go for one of these two options:

    1. Communicate better. Tell him that you can’t live in a house with rats and yucky paint and it’s important to you.

    2. Hire an exterminator, and then before he comes, tell fiance “Peggy at work told us a horror story about a rat infestation in her house. They woke up with rat droppings in their bed! She said her infestation started out just like ours (insert key details). It freaked me out, so I made an appointment with her exterminator. He got rid of the problem really quickly. He’s really booked up, but great news – I got him to squeeze in on Wednesday!”

    Then hire a contractor to patch the holes and say the exterminator required it. Yep, I’d make up a story to rationalize it/convince him it’s necessary. Rats are gross and carry diseases and there are holes in your house that they enter through. A white lie to get an exterminator in is worth it to me here.

    2. I think this is borrowing trouble. White lies are only a good plan if it’s going to be a one-time situation and the person being lied to won’t find out. This issue is going to come up again and again, and unless your fiancé is incredibly stupid, he’s going to pick up on the lying. You’ve got to talk it out now.

    3. I just feel like you shouldn’t need to tell a white lie to have your husband want to exterminate RATS from your HOUSE. That is not something I’d be willing to have to talk/coerce someone into. Like, what?

  19. Suggestions for emerald or hunter green tops/dresses? I just realized this color looks best on me, and now I want to saturate my wardrobe with it. Anyone have favorite pieces to suggest? I love the featured dress in the green, but it’s sold out in my size sadly!

    1. Nordstrom had a bunch of stuff in “pine” and “ponderosa” during the anniversary sale- check there!

  20. Okay ladies-

    1. What do you keep in your gym bag? Spare brush? Mini shampoos? Etc.
    2. If you have a gym locker, what do you keep in there?

    I’m trying to lighten my travel load by keeping my gym bag at the office. I was thinking it would be great to keep a second makeup kit, but I’m not sure I really want to go out and by dupes of all my products.

    1. I keep an entire mini toiletry arsenal in my gym bag. I will literally just take it out and plop it in my suitcase if I’m going on a trip, it’s everything I need. This may be excessive but I like having everything I need ready to go. So for me, that’s extra contacts, solution, case and spare glasses; shampoo, conditioner and soap; my usual makeup; toothbrush/paste; hairbrush, ties and 3-days worth of my usual vitamins/most used OOC items (I used a mini container smaller than an old film container). Everything is mini-sized and I refill the little bottles when they run out after a trip. For makeup, I like to wait until an item is half-used up and put it in the gym bag. That seems to help with not double buying. Or I’ll use a perfectly good drugstore alternative.

      2. I do this too. I have the shower stuff and the makeup in separate bags/pouches, though

        1. I did this after reading a post on here and it’s been SUCH a life saver (it’s what hooked me to this website). I have a gym in my office building and can sneak down during lunch or afternoon lull’s and get a workout in. I have a free locker I can use in that gym to store stuff long term.

          In gym bag (small discrete bag, that doubles as every-day carry all tote. I leave this at my desk and bring it down to the gym with me. I like to keep this with me/not in my locker so i have my makeup at my desk if I need a touch up during the day, and I can use it to bring my keys, phone, water bottle down to the gym with me. Bonus points that my bag kinda looks like a purse, so I’m not announcing to the whole office with my gym bag that I’m going to be gone for long!):
          – Makeup bag: mascara, eye liner, eyebrow gel, concealer, eye lash curler lipstick, old eye shadow pallet
          – Toiletries pouch: face lotion w/sunscreen; spray deodorant (more fragrant to me that stick, so good for returning to work); moist towelettes; hair spray; brush (all travel size)
          – Gear pouch: arm band for phone, earphones, hair thingies
          – Extra change of underwear, bra, socks

          In locker (I love having a locker and not ever having to carrying this junk. If i didn’t have a free option, I would pay for a long term locker just to avoid ever having to schlep all of this heavy crap):
          – high quality/full size blow drier and straightener (bc time is always of the essence if I’m needing to use hot tools at work-i.e. I squeezed in a workout and have a meeting to get to)
          – Waterproof baggie: shampoo, conditioner, facewash, shower shoes (all travel size, except shoes duh) (soap provided for in gym shower)
          – Gym shoes
          – I leave my dirty gym clothes in my locker hanging up to dry between workouts. Every Friday or Monday, I bring fresh gym clothes with me to work and take dirty gym clothes home to wash.

    2. In my office gym bag:
      – comb
      – dry shampoo for the roots*
      – hair balm for the ends *
      – concealer, small blush, eyeliner, browliner, lip gloss*
      – deodorant
      – creme perfume
      – shower sandals

      *I subscribe to birchbox and ipsy, so I have plenty of sample-sizes for my gym bag and travel toiletry “go-bags”

    3. mini shampoo + conditioner (from past hotels), deodorant, dry shampoo for if i dont have time, some powder. if i need to look nice i have a small mini-travel version of my makeup (bareminerals) that i bought with one of those palettes with mini amts of mineral foundation, mineral veil, etc so it’s smaller.

      i also bring in 4 gym outfits at the beginning of the week (ambitious…) and use them up throughout the week. also 1 pair of gym shoes and 1 pair flip flops

  21. I have an ‘intern with a Birkin’ question: I was just given a very expensive monogrammed padfolio by my family as a present for starting my new job. I’m straight out of university – will it be obnoxious to use it?

    1. Are we talking monogrammed with your initials, or monogrammed with Louis Vuitton’s initials?

      If the former, use it all the time! What a great gift.

      If the latter…I don’t know what to tell you, mostly because I’m not a huge fan of that print in general.

    2. Does it have little LVs all over it? Is it otherwise recognizably high-end and not just high-quality?

      1. No LVs, no! At the Smythson price point. Not sure if it’s recognizably high end.

    3. Can you tell how expensive it is just by looking at it? The Birkin is perceived as problematic because it’s recognizable as very expensive- a status object. Does Hermes make padfolios? Does it say Chanel? ;)

    4. How expensive are we talking? A Birkin bag is insanely expensive…like $20,000 I think. Plus there is or was a long waiting list to get them and there were really well-known people who had problems getting one. That’s why it’s so ridiculous for an intern to have one. If it’s just an “average” (ha) $1,000 fancy handbag or portfolio I wouldn’t think twice about it. You could mention it was a gift to people who compliment it.

    5. Honestly, most people probably won’t even notice that sort of thing. I think you’re fine.

    6. If you can pay your cell phone bill with the money the portfolio cost, it’s fine. If you could buy a brand-new car, there might be issues.

  22. Is it a mistake to request an informal performance review if there’s no policy for a formal one? I’ve been here just over a year, so if there are areas where I’m falling short, I want to give boss an opportunity to tell me. But I don’t want to imply that he isn’t just telling me as things come up…? But also maybe that’s an excuse because I don’t want to hit “send” on the email because I’m nervous.

      1. I think it’s a good idea to ask for feedback even if a formal review isn’t necessary. It shows that you care about your performance. Maybe your boss hasn’t given you informal feedback because he’s 100% completely satisfied and he doesn’t have any suggestions (nice to hear). Or maybe he does have suggestions but hasn’t had the proper oppourtunity to talk with you about them (also nice to hear those). I think this is win win.

  23. I just started a new job Monday, and the walls are killing me. I have a beautiful office with a large window, more filing space than I could ever use, and a desk space for days. However the walls are white. I face sitting the walls, and there really isn’t a way to not face the walls. I already know what art I want to buy; it’s a set of similar-type quirky prints on dictionary paper; I work at an arts institution so more unique art seems fitting than a general landscape/art made to be non-offensive. Most people here have nerdy things in their office or on their cube walls. The prints can come unframed or framed in simple black frames with basic matting. I would prefer the framed versions because I think it looks better, but how soon is appropriate for me to ask who hangs things? It’s a large institution so I would imagine I would not be allowed to hang them on my own. I feel like with a set of prints it would take a while to hang, so I don’t want to appear needy, but I also really really want art. Also no one else seems to have anything hung, there are a lot of things put on walls with push pins. I am also the most junior person I think that has an office if that plays into things.

    1. What about diplomas? I might loop that in (if that’s a thing in your field?) like “I was going to bring in my diploma and some prints for the wall, do I need to ask someone to hang them?” — that’s what I did, anyway!

      1. Unfortunately, that is so far from my field it isn’t even a thing. I *think* I took my diploma out of the tube to see if it was spelled correctly. I’m not event sure where my diploma is at this point. How long did you wait to ask?

        1. I would do it sooner rather than later if you can. This is a pretty standard request for someone who’s just moving into their office. If you can help it, try to only have to ask once. But it’s nbd if you put up some stuff now and then in 6 months decide you want to add something. Just don’t (1) constantly ask for just one more thing to go up, or (2) constantly change your wall art.

    2. You don’t have to make some huge pronouncement of how you NEED art bc OMG white walls!! Isn’t there an assistant/admin person/HR kind of person around? Can’t you ask them? If there isn’t and you must ask someone more senior and be dramatic about it, I’d wait until at least the end of week 2-3 and if things are going well, then ask.

    3. If no one has stuff hanging on the walls, before you order Id ask whoever the facilities person about it.

    4. Does your work have a facilities management department? I would contact them to see what the process is. I work for a large corporation and my husband came in and hung my artwork. I did it late in the day so it wouldn’t be a huge to-do.

    5. I would wait a month before hanging anything, just because the optics of moving in with a bunch of stuff can be taken the wrong way. Once you’ve made it past the one month mark, ask your office manager or HR whether it’s fine for you to hang a couple of framed pictures in your office. They might say, “Sure! Go for it!”, or they might say “Actually, we have X hang any pictures. Here’s how you can contact her.”

  24. Looking for advice on interviewing for a civil AUSA position – I’m in a Midwestern city and have so-so credentials: good but not perfect grades from a locally well-regarded but nowhere near T-14 law school, no firm or clerkship. I have been in local government ligation all my career, where I’be done well and am extremely well-respected, some trial experience, and very involved in the community. I’m a little surprised at getting the interview since I don’t have the kind of credentials the office normally takes, but I know I can do the job well. But any advice on what to expect would be much appreciated!

    1. With typos corrected (oy phone typing):

      Looking for advice on interviewing for a civil AUSA position – I’m in a Midwestern city and have so-so credentials: good but not perfect grades from a locally well-regarded but nowhere near T-14 law school, no firm or clerkship experience. I have been in a local government agency doing ligation all my career, where I’ve done well and am extremely well-respected. I have some trial experience, lots of litigation experience, and very involved in the community.

      I’m a little surprised at getting the interview since I don’t have the kind of credentials the office normally takes, but I know I can do the job well. But any advice on what to expect would be much appreciated!

      1. They may or may not actually be hiring. USAOs are known to bring people in when they see a resume they like bc they think they may have additional budget to hire 2 yrs from now or 3 yrs from now. So if you know anyone who knows anyone there, figure out if there’s actual growth.

        As for the actual interview — be ready for lots of questions about why you want to do this. They do NOT want to hear anything along the lines of “gaining experience” — bc most view that as “I want this on my resume so I can get more lucrative jobs later.” Rather you have to spend a lot of time talking about how you want to serve the public interest — which makes sense for you given that you’ve been at a local govt agency. Also be prepared for a lot of questions trying to figure out if you want to use this position as a foothold to get into a criminal AUSA position. Obv they don’t want to see that and like to see commitment to civil, since criminal usually draws the better resumes.

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