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Coffee Break: Michel Bootie

Black Ankle Boot: Born Michel BootieOooh: It may be a bit early for bootie season, but if you’re a fan of Rag & Bone’s hugely popular Harrow bootie, you may want to try these much more affordable, lower-heeled boots from Born. I love that these are only 2” high (as opposed to 3.5” with the Harrow) yet still have the flattering cutout in the front of the boot. The fact that they’re from a brand renowned for its comfort (and that they're enjoying 14 5-star reviews at Zappos) doesn’t hurt at all. The boots are $135 at Zappos, and also available at Amazon for $99-$218. Born Michel Bootie (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

159 Comments

  1. For those of you who’ve ever done group travel (like those paid tours) — what did you like/not like about it? In this morning’s discussion it seems like people were talking about it as a last resort. Is it bc you risk just not clicking with people or is there something more to be aware of?

    Also is there any realistic way we could have our own travel group/list serv thru readers of this site? I feel like there are a decent number of ladies here who want to travel but don’t necessarily have friends/partners to go with. So I think if there was a way to post someplace/shoot of an email saying — hey I want to go to Austin or Nashville or wherever in a month, would anyone want to join — we could get some kind of response, even if it was just people traveling separately but having night time plans with people from here so it didn’t feel like totally solo travel.

    1. A good way to do this would be through an email list. Email is a bit more accountable than just a thread. I met a woman in my town who has her own social mailing list (brilliant) and I’m going on a trip with her and some of her extended friends after they were looking for a bigger group discount.

    2. I did a tour where I used them just for airfare / hotel and a schedule of moving from London / Paris / Rome / Florence. I didn’t do any bus activities other than transit to the ferry at Dover and on to Paris. The rest was trains b/w the big cities (I think they arranged for the Paris to Rome leg). The rest was on my own with a friend and we befriended two similar groups of women traveling with us. There was a group and we clicked with some people, but mainly it was having days free and the rough schedule / big transit / lodging arranged in advance.

    3. I did a group tour a few years ago and had a really good experience. There were maybe 50 of us and my then-husband and I found several couples with whom we clicked. There were a few people who were a little annoying but it was easy to avoid them. I think the thing to be careful about is maybe less the “group” aspect and more the “is this the itinerary I like” aspect.

      As I posted this morning, Lovely Fiance has a group of people he’s been traveling with for 10 years now and he loves it. I’m looking forward to meeting them in a month or so.

    4. I like G Adventures for small group travel. Many tours are like 15 people or so.

      1. My partner and I did a tour with G Adventures in SE Asia (Vietnam, Laos, Thailand) last summer. We’re in our mid-30s, but the group skewed very young (think 19-21 year olds). I’m not sure if that was a fluke, or because of the location/timing. They were all lovely people, just at a different phase of their lives than we were, which made certain activities less than ideal.

        1. Depends on the tours – I think the Comfort (or whatever they’re called) are the cushier/more luxish ones and they tend to be older on average.

          1. Yup. They’ve now broken down their tours into categories like YOLO (for young, lower budget travellers), Comfort (as described above), and Standard (in between). I did their Absolute Peru trip for three weeks in 2013 and it was one of the best travel experiences I’ve ever had. But my group was amazing – there was an age range, everyone was a solo traveller like me, and we just clicked. We crossed paths with a few other G tours and I remember thinking “I would not be having fun with them.” You can’t really control who you go with and that’s the biggest risk in my eyes. I lucked out. I think you can probably call ahead and ask whether there are other solo travellers signed up and what the age ranges are before booking.

    5. I’ve never done a group tour and the main reason is because I get a lot of enjoyment out of planning my own travel. I would say at least half of the fun of a vacation for me is pouring over blogs, guidebooks and TripAdvisor reviews and figuring out where I want to go, what I want to do and where I want to eat. Not only do you not get to do any of that planning with a group tour, you risk not liking the hotels and restaurants someone else has picked out. I also tend toward the luxury end of the travel spectrum, but at the same time I’m pretty budget conscious. There are group tours that are aimed at luxury travelers, but they’re insanely expensive, and there are many group tours that are aimed at more budget-minded travelers, but I haven’t seen any group tour that replicate the kind of ‘champagne taste on a beer budget’ deals I often find for my own travel.

      That said, there are destinations where I would definitely consider a group tour for various reasons. I’m thinking of doing one to Cuba in the next couple of years.

      I would totally subscribe to a ‘r e t t e travel email thread!

    6. Why don’t all the meet up hosts post their email addresses here, and Kat/Kate can list it as a permanently stick thread (or create a separate post for this purpose)? That way folks can refer to the list and meet up for a drink in LA or coffee in DC when passing through.

    7. The hubs and I have done several group trips (including part of our honeymoon). We do not like larger group tours of the “it’s Tuesday so it must be Belgium” variety or tours where we always have to be with our group all the time or do not have any “down” time. For example, one of our friends and her husband organize trips to Hawaii every other year because he is from there, but we decline to travel with them because they think Denny’s is perfectly acceptable as a daily dining option on vacation. Um, no.

      We gravitate towards “tours” that are focused on the things we like (food, wine, cooking) in areas that we want to go to and that generally are off the beaten path. There is no need for a tour group of European capitals; you can take yourself around those (although it can be fun to do one day chocolate tours or morning cooking classes in those cities).

      We have had good experiences with small barge cruises where the itineraries were set in advance, but there was a decent amount of free time to do our own thing and the ability to request certain activities (i.e. a particular museum we wanted to see or a scenic route instead of the highway). We have had good experiences with The International Kitchen in both Italy, where we focused on cooking, wineries, and small Tuscan villages, and Morocco, where we did not want to travel without a guide because of cultural issues and the fact that we wanted someone else to do the detailed travel planning needed to cover over 1200 miles in 12 days. We often have had single people on our trips and they were very welcome (one of our Morocco travel companions is now a dear friend).

      All of our trips were “self-selecting” to a large degree by interest and price, which probably helped us avoid some issues. The biggest issue for us early on was that we tended to be younger (like 30 years younger!) than people on some of our trips which occasionally meant part of the group was not up for being as active as we wanted to be. That problem has resolved itself to a large degree as we have aged and it has been a long time since we had people in a group that we could not stand (although there always will be people that you like more and less with any group).

  2. I was wondering if anyone has unconventional ideas for reducing waste.

    We have started returning things – we return the hangers to the dry cleaners, we take vases to the florist near our house (even if that’s not where they’re from, she’s always happy to have them), and we return the buy-six-bottles-of-wine carriers to the grocery store.

    I love these sorts of ideas because they both reduce waste but also help out a small business’s overhead in a tiny way.

    Anyone have similar ideas?

    1. I try to reduce my waste at lunchtime by using reusable containers or making sure I recycle if I grab take out.

      1. I really try not to use baggies. I stick things in Tupperware to save them, even like a piece of bread. My husband thinks this is weird for some reason, but what’s the difference??

    2. At Dad’s house, he RECYCLE’s everything. Paper’s, can’s, bottels, newspaper’s and metal’s like hangers from the dry cleaners. Mom also compost’s all of the orange peel’s and bannanna peel’s, and she has a compost heap that she uses for the garden veggies that she grow’s. Rosa has started to have her cleaneing lady to the same up in Chapaqua, but she is not as advanced as Mom and Dad. Dad also put SOLAR panel’s on the roof, b/c he says that is natural energy, and he is right. I think this is a great idea we should ALL be doieng. YAY!!!

      1. There’s a local non profit here in Florida that takes left over flowers from florists to nursing homes. They accept vase donations. Maybe there’s something similar in other areas.

        1. There are a number of these around the country. They take re-made arrangements to shelters, hospitals, hospice, nursing homes, to individuals who wouldn’t otherwise get flowers. I used to volunteer for one, but my new city doesn’t have one. I LOVE helping to make the new arrangements and I think the mission of the org is so kind hearted- simple and not solving world hunger, for sure, but incredibly kind.

    4. I’ve been thinking a lot about this over the past few years, and tried to do small things like use fewer plastic bags and not ask for a bag at the store unless I really need one. This includes clothing shopping — they really want to give you a bag with their logo on it, but you can just as easily take a reusable grocery bag clothing shopping as the grocery store.

      I buy compostable plastic bags for dog waste. Leaving poop on a neighbor’s lawn isn’t really an option, obviously, but I have always hated the idea of putting something that will biodegrade in a plastic bag and throwing it out. I was really happy to discover compostable plastic bags a couple years ago. Though, I tried using them for regular trash bags in my kitchen trash can, and it didn’t work. The plastic isn’t as durable, and a full bag ripped like half the time when I tried to take it out of the can, making a gross mess, so I switched back to petroleum plastic.

      I wash all of my laundry on the cold cycle; I used to wash my sheets on hot, but read that water temp makes very little difference in a modern washing machine and stopped doing that. Bonus: savings on the electric bill.

      V. interested to read others’ responses!

      1. Agreed on the clothing stores! Especially when you’re buying makeup. A little tube of lipstick comes in such a nice Sephora bag with tissue paper when you can easily drop it in your purse. The store below my office puts your candy bar in a plastic bag, which drives me crazy too. I also try to remember to tell restaurants no silverware when I am picking up to eat it at home. I wish they would take the responsibility to ask you before putting it in there ! It would help their bottom line too.

      2. I use the produce bags from the grocery store for doggy cleanup and store them in an empty Kleenex box. I hated using any plastic at the grocery store, and buying bags just to put poo in them, so this at least reduces the number of plastic bags involved.

    5. I think bringing lunch to work in reusable containers instead of buying lunch is one of the best things I can do when I can swing it. Also (and this probably only works in a city), if I’m throwing something out that someone could possibly want, I put it on our outside steps with a little “free” sign to see if someone takes it before throwing it in the garbage.

    6. I got a pack of 8 washcloths at target and use them with all purpose cleaner to wipe off the kitchen counter tops and table after dinner rather than using paper towels or clorox wipes. They are a distinctive pattern, so I know they are used for cleaning only.

      Also I got some re-usable zipper bags to take the place of ziploc bags because my husband always used a ton of zipclocs for lunch/snacks every day.

      1. +1 to not using paper towels. I only use them to clean up pet vomit. Otherwise, cotton rag that gets thrown in the washing machine with the towels.

        Thanks for the tip on the reusable zipper bags!! I was not aware that these were a thing.

      2. Similarly, I stopped buying paper towels and bought a big bag of rags from the hardware store. I use them to clean everything. I compost food waste, reuse all the food containers I can (especially glass now that my city doesn’t recycle it), give my beer bottles to my dad for his bottling, don’t use produce bags at the store, bring my own (clean) containers for bulk food items (the extra cost is worth it to me), never allow the stores to give me plastic bags even if it means making more than one trip, use old contact lens cases or toiletry jars to put liquids in for traveling, reuse boxes at Christmas time, and many of the things already listed here by others.

        1. Also, old threadbare towels, cut up and a zig-zag stitch on the edges. Work for cleaning rags, or dishclothes.

    7. I don’t buy garbage bags and just use plastic bags from the store to line trash cans.
      I also try to throw a foldable tote into my purse so I don’t have to always rely on plastic bags for my groceries (and it’s amazing how I still end up with so many bags).

      Cute shoes boxes can make very handy boxes for organizing various odds and ends (I use them with the lid under on a shelf in our coat closet for corralling various smaller items – one holds hats/gloves, one has lightbulbs and batteries, etc.).

      Take out chopsticks (they always send so many) are great for propping up houseplants.

    8. If it fits your serving size, buy milk in the glass bottles. You pay a deposit, but it’s refundable at the store when you return for your next bottle.

    9. When my toaster/lamp/record player broke, I brought it to my local Repair Cafe and volunteers fixed it for free.

    10. I use a lot of products made by Norwex. Yes, Norwex can be a MLM company, but it is the only one I can support as they try to reduce waste & chemicals. I have several of the cleaning cloths (instead of paper towels), laundry detergent, dryer softener things (instead of dryer sheets), reusable plastic bags that you can wash, metal straws and other various cleaning products. Also some things are available on Amazon.

    12. I line dry clothes, would be crazy not to do so, given that I live in a sunny place.

      Return hangers to dry cleaning place.

      Recycle take out containers.

      Store everything in plastic reusable containers.

      Recycle grocery bags as trash bags.

      Put makeup purchases in my tote rather than getting them wrapped. I also do this for small items of clothing.

      Cut up old towels for dusters

      No kitchen paper towels except when I need to dry washed produce.

    13. We reduce waste by hanging towels in sun to dry instead of washing, using plastic bags from bread, tortillas etc instead of buying ziplock (which seems incredibly crazy), obviously bring our own bags to all stores, we compost instead of buying soil, we catch water in buckets when we warm up our showers and use it to water plants… The list goes on

  3. By way of background, there are 4 female partners in my mid-law law firm office (18 total partners). Each of the 3 female partners employs multiple staff people, ie, nannies, drivers, cooks, housekeepers, etc. Each of them has at least 2 children. 2 of them have kids under 5. Their husbands (or ex-husbands) all work, with only one husband being in what I would call a less-demanding job. They almost never go on vacation, and when they do, they work the whole time. These partners are heads of their practice groups or on the compensation committee, likely bill in excess of 2,500 hours a year, regularly send 3 am emails, etc. They’re “successful” by all measures of law firm achievement.

    I guess my questions are….
    1. Is this what diversity in law firms looks like? I guess what I mean is.. are law firms getting to tout diversity, not because they’re truly evolving with respect to women’s issues, but because some women are willing to outsource every aspect of their non-professional lives to make success work? That is to say, maybe law firms aren’t really any more family friendly- but women are wising up to how to play the game better?

    2. If you’re someone reading this and thinking “I hope that’s me one day,” I am genuinely curious about what the appeal is. I know making partner isn’t for everyone, but there also aren’t enough in-house jobs to go around to employ everyone who decides law firm partner life isn’t for them. If the prize for winning the pie-eating contest is pie, and if you’re a woman you also have to pay someone to do your laundry, what’s the point?

    1. Re #1, guys do this all the time (or they have a wife who does or sees to it that someone else does). And aren’t tasked by society with sending Christmas cards, thank you letters, or a bunch of other tasks that fall to Mommies.

      Me, I’m not setting the world on fire. Probably will never move to equity partner from income. I sleep at ngiht. I don’t work on weekends. You never see anyone making a fuss over me, so I’m invisible. But I’m probably more like most partners in a law firm (never mind women partners / mommy partners).

      1. As to mommy tasks, I have to stick up for the guys too. Maybe this is less common in NYC where people don’t own houses as much, but my husband here in Houston does a ton of work that doesn’t fall to me. I would have to look up how to turn on the lawnmower. I have no idea when our air filters get changed. Etc.

        So yes, I do all of the emotional labor – thank you letters and buying gifts (we really split along gender roles perfectly), but he makes up for it in other areas. And I would encourage other women to look at your relationships to see if there are things your SO does that you aren’t crediting him for.

        When there was that big article about emotional labor a few months ago and everyone here was talking about it, I was like, yes, that’s so unfair!! But then I talked to my husband about it, and he pointed out all he does, and I think it’s about fair. So I wouldn’t want anyone to become resentful.

        1. 100% this.

          I felt like I was doing all the emotional labor stuff until I really talked it out with DH and realized that there was stuff he was doing that I hadn’t noticed (air filters, insurance issues, cable/wifi stuff). I was still doing more and we addressed that but it wasn’t as unbalanced as I realized. Homeownership + Parenthood is just A LOT OF WORK.

          1. When I was single and owned a free-standing house, I did all of the house stuff. Now I’m married and the nice man we pay comes and mows the yard. Yet no one is “OMG, a man can’t mow his own lawn; time to bail on the whole job thing.”

            Someone changes the oil in my car but I understand how to do it (and not to dump my oil in the storm drain). I send my children to school rather than home school. I don’t weave my own cloth or sew my own clothes. I buy store-baked bread. I’m not Robinson Crusoe.

            I do iron b/c I find it to be soothing: order from the chaos. Also, I can TiVo The Americans while doing it.

        2. Wow, I’m so glad I read this. I just realized that I don’t give my husband enough credit for everything he does. I just tallied it up and his contributions to the maintenance of our household and our lives significantly outnumbers mine.

    2. 1. Yeah, I think that’s pretty typical. I think men at the top work similarly hard, the difference is they are way more likely to have a spouse who is a stay at home parent, works part-time or works in a less-demanding job and is willing to shoulder much more of the responsibility for the children and household.
      2. It had no appeal for me, and I left, so I can’t answer this question.

    3. I can’t speak to No. 1 — but I can speak to No. 2. I do hope that’s me one day — making partner. I didn’t make it on my first go around in biglaw; am taking a break in govt to (hopefully) gain some marketability that way and praying I end up in midlaw as partner. Why — bc I like litigation; I like client service; I like travel; and my professional life isn’t complete without those things and those aren’t things I can get in govt or in house. As for whether I want a staff or someone else doing my laundry — yes — I want to outsource as much as possible bc to me, I have ZERO interest in cooking, cleaning or anything of that sort. Honestly my true interest IS working and doing fun stuff so if I didn’t have to pick up dry cleaning and could pay someone for that task — I’d be fine with it. The other reason — my true interest IS work, so if that means I give up things in other areas that people find valuable, that works for me. As you say yourself — it isn’t for everyone.

      1. Seriously OP — what’s your response to this? Don’t you think there are other women out there like Anon 3:12? Just bc it’s not for you doesn’t mean it isn’t for ANYONE and any woman who wants it is less than.

        1. I didn’t mean to imply than any woman who does it less than. and I appreciate Anon at 3:12’s response because it makes a lot of sense to me.

          I’m an associate who outsources. I have plenty of free time and I still outsource everything. Because like a lot of people said, I value my time over the money I spend to have those tasks outsourced.

          I think my bigger issue is, and I let it get lost by mentioning laundry, is that I can’t see a path to female partner at a law firm that doesn’t require focusing almost exclusively on professional life. That doesn’t mean it’s not out there, I just don’t work at a law firm where a woman can give near equal consideration to her personal and professional life and be considered for partner or other promotion. I don’t understand why law firms get to act like they’re doing something to promote diversity in leadership when what’s really happening is that previously under-represented people are having to do all the work to make diversity happen.

          1. If you want a job that allows you to give equal time to personal and professional life, that’s not even an in-house job. I work a regular 9-5 in-house job and I, like most people, spend most of my time at work. I don’t think the problem is with your law firm, I think it’s with how much free time you expect to have while working full time.

          2. Disclosure: not a biglaw partner or on that path (I went in-house because I knew it wasn’t for me). But I think you’re missing the point. It isn’t about the path to being a “female partner” – it’s the path to being a partner. Partnership does not permit equal consideration to personal and professional life. Do you want to work at a place that says women don’t have to put in as much effort as men if they want to be partners because the higher ups want to make sure they have time for “traditional womanly pursuits” too? I don’t. I want to work at a place where I’m treated fairly with respect to my work, and fairly with respect to my personal life, as compared with the men. You work somewhere where personal life is not given any priority. The fact that, traditionally, that impacts a man’s trajectory less than a woman’s trajectory doesn’t change the fact that it is a nature of the game, not the players.

          3. But I’m still failing to see how this is a diversity issue. The path to partner at a law firm requires focusing almost exclusively on your professional life, regardless of whether you’re male or female. The only difference I see is that it’s more socially acceptable for men to focus exclusively on their professional life, but that wasn’t the concern expressed in your original post.

          4. There is not a path to partner, male or female, at any law firm of any size that does not require you to put your professional life first. When I was in private practice I often stated that the people who are the most successful are those who put “work” at the intersection of “what I love” and “what I have to do,” right smack in the middle of their personal Venn diagrams.

          5. That’s the path for all biglaw partners. If you want to talk about maternity leave and b-feeding as female specific needs to assist women in making partner then let’s but the assumptions that these were choices that women make that men don’t is part of what is holding women back.

            I’m on track to lead my organization. I outsource everything I can (and did even in an entry level job). I am focussed on my career because that’s what it takes right now to get the job I want but….. That doesn’t take away from me being a good mom, it means I have said that housekeeping, chauffeuring my kids and washing their clothes will need to fall to someone else if I want to be there for doll tea parties, soccer games and reading time. It works for me, it doesn’t work for everyone. I’m privileged to have choices, the woman working 3 minimum wage jobs on the same hours and no help doesn’t.

      2. Yeah, I already outsource or automate a ton – I have a cleaning lady, a dog walker, and a person who runs my errands; I use Blue Apron and get my other groceries (and my dry cleaning) delivered; I order virtually everything online (from prescriptions to clothes). I hope to have kids soon, and I expect that I’ll have a nanny (probably also a night nurse for the early years), and likely a housekeeper. Maybe I won’t need some of those things if I have a nonworking spouse.

        I like my job, and I also like doing something that I’m good at; in addition, my work enables me to contribute to the community in very real ways (from the donations I make to civic leadership through board service to the firm’s own efforts to provide opportunities for historically underrepresented groups int he law).

        I work a ton, but as a result, my non-working time is mostly leisure (sports, playing with my dog, seeing friends, travel), church, or volunteer/community work. I feel like my work-life balance is better than a lot of my friends who work shorter hours than I do.

        IDK, I don’t think it’s morally superior to buy my own groceries, clean my own bathroom, or return my own cable box. I’m more than happy to eliminate the second shift from my life.

      3. Me too! I LOVE outsourcing laundry and putting away clothes to the lady that comes to my house 8 hours a week. I LOVE having a weekly cleaning service in addition to the laundry service. I was a SAHM for a couple of years. I LOVED playing with and reading to my babies. Laundry, food prep. grocery shopping, dropping off dry cleaning, cleaning my house . . . no thanks. I’d about a billion times prefer to write a brief or go to a client meeting or prep for a court hearing. I find house-related tasks dull beyond description and completely unfulfilling. Also, I love that my home time is way more focused on my kids as opposed to the mind-numbingly boring (to me) task of folding laundry. Also, it is truly a gift not to have to leave the house on Saturday for hours to run errands like going to the grocery store, dry cleaner, etc. I’d rather pay for those tasks, get paid to do something I love, and spend 95% of my free time focused on my family (and, 5% focused on working out, hair cuts, eyebrow waxing, etc.) I think working moms who make high salaries and get to outsource are truly blessed. No one talks about this, but the hardest role in my eyes is being a stay at home mom without resources to outsource anything or join a gym or go for a spa day. Those women really never get a break. The sad truth is, while money may not buy happiness, it goes a long way toward balance, which is something every mother, whether they stay at home or run a big law firm, needs.

        2. All of this. I don’t mind folding laundry because that’s when I catch up on my DVR, but I am totally happy to outsource most of my household tasks so that I can spend my time on family, work, and myself. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy choice. Plus, I like to think that my willingness/ability to pay for lawn care, a house cleaner, task rabbits, etc give other people a little more economic opportunity.

    4. There’s a lot of judgement in your post.

      I don’t get working a job with crazy hours but I also don’t get living in a big city or choosing not to have kids – that’s why those aren’t my choices. Doesn’t mean they aren’t 100% equally valid choices – they’re just not for me.

      I work a 9-5 govt job and I pay someone to do my laundry because I hate laundry and I would rather spend time with my kids than doing laundry. I buy time with my money and I earn my money doing something I love. I’m a better mom because I’m a happy person. In order to have money to pay someone to do my laundry, I shop at walmart or carters for kids clothes not jcrew and more likely ann taylor or Banana than Nordstroms for myself.

      People spend money and time on what matters to them. You do you.

      1. There isn’t intended to be. Honestly. And I tried to word it carefully, but it’s hard to convey my internal monologue in a comment.

        1. “if you’re a woman you also have to pay someone to do your laundry, what’s the point”

          The point is that everyone values money/time differently. Some people (me) would rather drive a ten year old car than deal with 3 kids worth of laundry so that’s how I spend my money. I’d rather spend time writing a legal brief to earn money to pay someone to do laundry instead of doing the laundry myself, so that’s how I spend my time.

        2. For what it’s worth, I don’t really understand the pushback you’re getting. I think “why make partner?” or “why pursue partnership?” is a valid question, and one I’d like to know more about.

    5. It’s not either/or. You can be #2 without getting near #1. Not everyone in MLB is Derek Jeter. There are people who come in, do their work, tend to their clients, and aren’t rock stars, but just serve their people and train their people. Like MLB, it is not for someone who wants to be home for dinner every night.

      Many of us are like the Long Snapper in the NFL — there, but never in the spotlight.

    6. I think you’re miscategorizing this as a women’s issue. It’s not a women’s issue that law firms expect people to send 3am emails and work through their vacations. It appears to affect women more because, in addition to work, we have the societal expectation of managing the home as well. The men are outsourcing it too, either to their stay at home spouses or to hired helpers, but no one considered it their job in the first place.

      1. “The men are outsourcing it too, either to their stay at home spouses or to hired helpers, but no one considered it their job in the first place.” This.

      2. I agree. I hope that this doesn’t sound rude, but I find it very sexist that this gets lumped in as a woman’s issue. It is not OK to assume that women don’t want to do the same level of work that the men have been doing, with the same level of outsourcing or other lifestyle tradeoffs. Some do, some don’t. Some men do, some don’t. We are individuals, and that’s OK.

      3. This — this isn’t a ‘woman’ or ‘mommy’ issue as much as it’s a law-firm/work-life balance issue. The nature of the job (sometimes/usually) requires that it become your main focus. So anything outside of work either doesn’t happen, happens to a limited degree, or is outsourced — either paid or to a SAH/less intense career spouse.

        I’m an associate in big law on a ‘reduced scheduled’ (i.e., 9-5 with evening work as needed), my husband is in a job that does not pay big law bucks, but requires a similar commitment. We have to outsource some (house cleaners, lots of takeout) in order to have any free time on the weekends, and now that we have a kid it’s STILL more intense than I expected.

        Most of my co-workers (male or female) don’t want work to take over that much of their lives either, some of them have kids, some don’t and have other interests, but some (male and female, some with kids, some without) do, and they are the ones who are more aggressively pursuing partnership. More power to them, it’s not for me.

        It may seem like a woman’s issue at first, maybe because having a family and wanting (or having) to be more involved with the day to day business of running a household was the only socially acceptable reason one could use for stepping off a very intense career track.

      4. Cosign. And the only way to overcome the expectation is to create an environment that has different expectations. However, that will require a major societal change and not just lip service to diversity or even more women-run firms.

        That said, the best comment ever about partnership came from a friend of mine (now a judge) who said “I am not sure I want to be a partner, but I am D*MN sure I want to stop being an associate.” Words to live by.

      1. I kind of feel like the OP was saying this is fake diversity because yes, they employ women, but the women are hiring other people to do the traditional “woman/mom” tasks because they don’t have time to do them. Which rubs me all kinds of the wrong way.

        1. Yes agreed. I pay to have someone do my cleaning. That doesn’t make me less of a woman.

          1. I’m going to quickly stick up for the OP because I get what she’s saying, but I also get what everyone else is saying about it’s not a “women’s” issue. I think there are two things at play 1) the societal expectations of what is “women’s work” at home – the norm for centuries has been for the female to take care of things at home. If she is the one who has to organize the outsourcing, she’s still the one taking care of it.

            2) I think the larger issue is the definition of success and “making it.” I’m not an atty, and my profession doesn’t have “associates” and “partners”, where you’re racing to get out of one category and into another. It seems like that either/or job choice is the real issue for females in the legal profession.

            I get the OP’s diversity comment – it’s not job diversity, or personality diversity, though, and it doesn’t work for everyone. It’s diversity in that no matter what you look like or where you come from you can put on a suit and work your ass off and achieve success.

        2. I do not practice law, but in my office there is a double standard. Men can take all kinds of time off for recreational activities, especially childless men, but women with kids are actually expected to put in more face time and produce more work than men or childless people to prove that we are dedicated to our jobs.

          1. 80% of my group of Sunday School teachers are SAHMs. Their husbands seem to go on a golf vacation with guy friends at least monthly. If I did that, I can’t imagine the scorn / judging.

          2. Thanks for this perspective. I did a crappy job articulating my questions, I guess.

            I do believe there is a difference between making partner as a man and as a woman. There are far more male partners in my office for a reason. There are far more male associates who self-identify as wanting to make partner. And it’s not because women value promotion in their jobs less than men. It’s because for a woman to have the same personal life as a man she has to make sacrifices in her career than a man doesn’t have to make. Or she has to make sacrifices in her personal life to have his career.

            A man can be a partner, coach his son’s baseball team and spend Friday afternoon at the golf course. I haven’t seen any examples of women in law firm leadership who can balance work-life balance the way male partners get to. Male partners work hard too, and they often work till 3 am. But no one is side-eyeing the male partner who shrugs off work to take his kids camping.

          3. OP — what year associate are you? You have a LOT of opinion on this subject and aren’t AS informed as you think. You think female partners aren’t spending Friday afternoons doing client development? It may or may not be on the golf course, but they are. As for those male partners on the golf course on Friday — it is for client development – whether they’re golfing with a current client or someone who knows someone who could be important in 2 yrs.

            No one is side eyeing a male partner who shrugs off work to take the kids camping? Really? Must just be at your firm bc at my firm “being a good dad” is great as long as it DOES NOT have any effect whatsoever on your work — and disappearing for a weekend into the woods does effect work and is not thought off as a wonderful thing whether you’re male or female.

          4. OP, I’m really struggling with the questions you’re asking here, because you seem to be equating “personal life” for women with “domestic labor” and “personal life” for men as “leisure/parenting.”

            Frankly, the male partners you describe sound much like me (a female partner). They outsource stuff they don’t want to do (say, mowing the lawn) so that they can do things that they want to do in the off-hours (coach baseball). If you WANT to do domestic labor, that’s fine, but no, you won’t be able to handle all the domestic and parenting tasks a stay-at-home parent would handle, have a full social life, and make partner at a law firm. Because that’s trying to fit two jobs (both demanding) into one day.

            I’ll also say that virtually every male partner I know misses stuff with his kids and is sad about it.

          5. As someone who recently made (income) partner in a 450-ish attorney firm, I believe what ACTUALLY matters are results – hours and your book of business. If you take off afternoons to golf, go to lunch, whatever, no one cares, but everyone cares about the numbers. If you’re not available to service client needs, your hours will go down. If you service clients well (translated into hours billed) and have the client relationships, you are valued. Period. Whether you outsource laundry or not is irrelevant.

    8. From your post, I get the impression that you think all the house hold responsibilities belong to woman and if a woman spends most part of her salary paying for a help she hires, then what is the point of earning so much? However, that is not the case. Adults in a household are equally responsible for household chores especially if both are working outside of home and in demanding job. And that is the reason for so much hired help. Say, if the partner’s husband was a stay at home spouse..probably they could cut down on the hired help (the same way if the woman is a stay at home spouse and man is a partner ).

      Now, would you ask something like ” if you’re a man you also have to pay someone to do your laundry, what’s the point?”

      1. Again, I’m going to push back on OP’s behalf. There’s a difference between being a dual-income household where both partners work equally demanding jobs, and a dual-income household where one partner leans in to their job at a time, while the other leans into the family. I’ve been in the shoes of #2, where I wished I could be the one leaning into work more than my family, which feels cr@ppy as a parent and a partner. It’s difficult to get the setup where both partners are high-achieving, but I think no one knows how another’s marriage works so it’s hard to see from the outside how things function. (And I hope the OP subscribed to the comments b/c I’m obviously a day late on this juicy thread!)

  4. Can someone please start an adult baby-sitting service?

    I literally need someone to stand over my shoulder and shame me into doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

    2. This is a job I’d be terribly unqualified for.

      “Refresh one more time. Oh! Dancing kitty gifs. Click that one!”

    3. I want a cheerleader, not a baby-sitter. “Come on! You got this! You can do it! Go you!”

  5. So, a commenter this morning posted about changing contact solution every day, and another person left an article about the risks and issues with contacts. Among the ‘contact sins’ it mentioned swimming and showering. Upon further googling, it appears this is standard advice given to people with contacts.

    I’ve worn contacts for all of my adult life, and while I don’t open my eyes underwater or anything, I have always worn contacts when swimming. This is partially because it has never occurred to me to do anything else, but also because I am super super blind without contacts in, and swimming in glasses seemed … also problematic. I also sometimes shower with my contacts in, because I like being able to see, and it seems silly to take them out to shower. I don’t remember anyone telling me not to shower and or swim with contacts in, but I also first got contacts when I was 13 so maybe I just wasn’t paying attention.

    So, I guess I’m wondering what other people with contacts do. Is there some sort of alternative that I am missing here? Or are other contact-wearers just throwing caution to the wind as well?

    1. I saw this too, recently, and thought, “Isn’t that the point of contacts?” I always swim with mine in, otherwise I can’t see anyone. Maybe it applies to actually swimming, like laps, rather than just the water-based hanging out that I do. I have no idea about the showering thing – mine aren’t in for my first-thing shower, but if I take a later shower after a run or something it would never occur to me to remove my contacts. So yes, I am one of those throwing caution to the wind. It has worked well for the past 20 years or so, contacts-wise.

      1. +1 – this is my take. I’ve gone laps swimming a couple of times w/ contacts in & they stick after (like when you fall asleep with them in) so I avoid that (by not going laps swimming). I can’t imagine re-using saline solution but these things feel a little extreme. I’ve read that water can have bacteria in it, so it’s probably a good practice if you’re traveling somewhere with water issues, but overall I can’t imagine worrying about these things.

    2. I’ve worn contacts forever and never heard that advice. I usually don’t put in my contacts until I get out of the shower (I go straight from bed to shower), although if I shower later in the day, I don’t take them out. I also don’t take them out for swimming, but don’t open my eyes underwater. Goggles I guess are the alternative?

    3. I wore contacts for many years until I had LASIK, but I never took them out to shower or swim. I don’t recall knowing that I was supposed to– I’m not sure if I would have, even if I had known that. I did follow all the other contact lens “rules,” though.

    4. I’m glad that you brought that up, because I have the same issue. Being able to see and swim was a major selling point of getting contacts, and I’ve showered with them on pretty much every day since I’ve had them, too (I guess I don’t really need to see to shower, but it’s nice). I was annoyed that the article mentioned that with no detail as to why.

      Unless someone comes up with a massively convincing “You will lose both eyeballs and die immediately if you do that” study result, I’m going to keep doing those things.

      1. or wear regular googles over your contacts to at least reduce the amount of water near your eyes.

    6. I’ve tried showering and swimming in contacts before, and they dried out so much I could barely get them out of my eye.

    7. I would be especially cautious about swimming. You can get prescription googles if you swim a lot.

      The reason it’s a problem is that public water supplies are not treated in a way that reduces the bacteria present to a level where it’s okay to have it trapped in your eye. Safe to shower or swim – definitely. But with contacts, water (including highly chlorinated pool water) can get trapped between your eye and the contact.

      At a minimum, remove and rinse your contacts with solution after showering and swimming.

      1. Thanks all, glad it’s not just me!
        I don’t swim a lot, and when I do, it’s basically me loitering in a pool on a floatie when I get hot in the summer, so prescription goggles might be overkill, but it’s good to know those exist!

      2. Just reread my comment – in case it wasn’t clear – Public water supplies are safe for swimming and showering generally but not to the level where it’s okay to wear contacts. manage risk by rinsing or changing contacts after you swim/shower or using regular googles over contacts or prescription googles

    8. I don’t have contacts but as a lawyer who had a case where people got severe eye infections from contact lenses that were exacerbated by not cleaning their lenses properly or swimming with them, please take better care of your contacts/eyes! A glass eye/blindness in one eye/cornea replacement surgeries are terrible. I know they’re the worst case scenario and not likely to happen but I wouldn’t want blindness because I was lazy and didn’t follow directions.

    9. I swim in my contacts. I’m super blind too, to the point that, uncorrected, I see nothing but color and light. I quite literally have no focus point -not at distance and not at a couple of inches, nothing. I can’t imagine swimming without contacts. Glasses do not fully correct me so I don’t think goggles would either. If I am going somewhere where good, accessible, insurance covered medical care won’t be available, I travel with Levaquin eye drops. I’ve had to use them once.

    10. Seriously? This is nonsense. I played waterpolo or swam daily (often 2x a day for 2+ hours each time) for upwards of nine years (middle school through college), always with my contacts in. I’ve gotten more eye infections from super-dry office air than I ever did during the swimming years. In fact, I cannot recall EVER getting an eye infection during that time.

      I’d also like to note that you cannot wear goggles while playing waterpolo (your eye socket could get seriously damaged if you were hit in the face, which is common), and, as a result, all of my eye doctors knew I was wearing my contacts, and I wore weeklies. Many of my teammates wore contacts. We couldn’t have seen if we didn’t wear contacts. Also, wearing contacts had the added benefit of the contact soaking up the chlorine and protecting my actual eye from chlorine. I often was better during the second or third game of the day, eye-wise, than my non-contact-wearing teammates.

      So, yeah. I guess this might be conventional wisdom. But I survived literally THOUSANDS of swimming outings without one eye infection, so there’s some anecdata for ya.

      1. Just because you were lucky does not mean it’s nonsense. you took a calculated risk and it worked out for you but if you did contract an infection while wearing your contacts, it could have serious consequences and if there was a tort issue, you would be found to be contributory negligent.

    11. My guess is that the warning is in the labeling for contacts (considered a medical device), so it’s a risk you need to consider for the infection/irritation concerns referred to above. But, chances are it’s a pretty low risk, as long as you are taking care of the contacts/your eyes in other respects.

      But…the company/doctor is still suppose to warn you, so you are an informed consumer.

    12. Contacts wearer here; I was told both of these rules. Swimming is for opening them underwater or doing a LOT of swimming where a lot of water could get in your eye. Not for “I only lounge in the water, do 10 leisurely laps in the pool on vacation.” The shower is so (1) they don’t fall out with all the water and (2) the steam will dry them out. They also tell you not to wear them in saunas for the same reason. If I shower late at night/before bed, I will take them out because they really do dry out and are uncomfortable to take out aftewards.

    13. I wear my contacts swimming, SCUBA diving, lifeguarding, and surfing. Aside from losing a few to waves (note to self: don’t take mask or goggles off until out of the water), I have had no problems. I have super bad eyesight so I wear contacts when I am in a new-to-me shower so I can find the soap and avoid burning myself with hot water.

      I wear a pair of 2-week lenses for about 6-8 weeks. Aside from a two minor infections in 23 years (not needing medical intervention), my eyes are healthy. My eye doctor thinks I purchase extra lenses online instead of wearing the for so long.

      FWIW, after a week long dive trip, I do change out my contacts for a new pair. It just feels like the right thing to do.

      I never wear contacts on plane flights longer than 2 hours–that is asking for trouble.

    14. I have terrible vision and have had glasses since 1st grade and contacts since fifth grade. I always wear mine in the shower – I’m just careful about not rubbing my eyes and keeping my face out of the stream of water except when necessary. I wore mine throughout 10+ years of competitive swimming as well (always with goggles), and wear mine swimming recreationally, as well as SCUBA diving and snorkeling. As long as you have goggles/mask to sufficiently keep water out, I don’t see the issue. I wear monthlies and change my solution daily, wash my case with saline weekly.

  6. I have a two-part career question! I’ve just gotten an offer for a staff attorney position at a prestigious boutique firm in a HCOL city. I am inclined to accept because I really like the firm (great culture, smaller size, etc) and I’ve been told the position will be substantive and in my preferred interest area (meaning not just doc review) and I will likely be promoted to partner-track associate within an year (unless I suck, I guess). I am two years out of law school and have some good selling points. My previous job was a highly-regarded but unpaid government fellowship. Now for the questions:

    1. I would, of course, prefer to be a partner-track associate now rather than a year from now. That’s my biggest hang-up on the offer. Do you think there is room to negotiate the title? The firm does not have any other staff attorneys and I expect the position was offered to me as such because I am only two years out of law school and they generally require three. Honestly I would be happy to accept a staff attorney salary for that trade-off, because I am concerned that having an off-track staff attorney position on my resume will do more harm in the long run. I’ve also interviewed for some biglaw, partner-track associate positions lately (and am still waiting to hear back on one), so I don’t think I am totally off-base as to my qualifications. What are your thoughts? Am I being crazy?

    2. The offer is for 120k, which is obviously great. But I keep reading that we ladies are doing ourselves a disservice and contributing to the wage gap by not negotiating offers. So should I negotiate? What should be my counter? Any tips?

    Sorry for the rambling. Thank you in advance for the advice!

    1. No idea on market for wage.

      On staff attorney vs. associate to partner track – you’re saying this is a bit of a unicorn position so I would request a formal review at 6 months including consideration of early transfer to A-P track. If you don’t get early transfer, the review should give you some specific feedback to focus on so you can make sure you will be transferred over at one year.

    2. I’m a little confused by your post. The firm requires partner-track associates to have three years of experience? That’s not normal. Is it possible “staff attorney” is just their name for junior associate? Or is this really a different, off the partner track position?

      I think it depends a lot on how long you’ve been interviewing and what your options are. If you’re unemployed or finishing up a fellowship and this is your only option, absolutely take it. There’s a risk that you will not be promoted to partner-track, but this still sounds like a very good gig, and is preferable to unemployment or being a contract attorney doing doc review. If you are in a job and have six months to a year before you’ll be unemployed you could keep hunting, although there is a substantial risk you won’t find anything better than this. I would take this, but you sound more fixated on eventually getting on the partner track than I would be.

      Re: negotiation, law firm associate salaries are fixed and not negotiable. If they really don’t normally have staff attorneys, it’s possible there is some room for negotiation but I probably wouldn’t. The whole law firm model is based on lockstep salaries at the associate levels, so it risks coming across as out of touch if you try to negotiate.

      1. No disrespect to Anonymous, but I would take the advice that associates cannot negotiate compensation with a grain of salt. I’m an associate at what’s considered a prestigious boutique firm. When I got my offer a friend/mentor in biglaw told me I couldn’t negotiate because associate salaries are lockstep. So I happily accepted what they offered. After I had been working here for a few months another associate at my firm told me I probably could have negotiated my salary because they really wanted to hire me. It’s also pretty well-known amongst associates that raises are negotiable.

    3. Honestly does this firm has a history of taking staff attorneys and promoting them to associate? Bc if it doesn’t — I’d be weary. Not bc I don’t think you’d do a good job — but bc you don’t know if that’s just something the hiring partner(s) are saying to you now. Maybe the hiring partners totally believe that and intend for it to happen but when they sit down at a partners meeting in Aug 2017 — the rest of their partners say — no way, not doing that.

      If I had a biglaw offer come through, I wouldn’t get myself into the staff atty track. If your biglaw offer doesn’t come through then obviously take it bc it’s way way better than an unpaid job — but be weary of promotion and if promotion doesn’t happen exactly when promised, look to move on bc you don’t want to be staff atty for 2-3 yrs bc then other firms will only consider you for those jobs.

      1. With all the love in my heart, I think you mean “wary” or “leery” but not “weary.” I hear smart people mix these up a lot and have an unmitigated need to let (some) people know so they don’t keep doing it– sorry for being the grammar police.

      2. I agree with being cautious. I’ve been doing doc review in NYC for years and only know 1 person who made the leap to partner track and he had an incredibly impressive background. Not to say it wouldn’t happen for you, just note that it is very rare in my experience.

        Each firm does staff attorney positions differently. That is my current role, but mine is much more document review focused and not substantive. I just wouldn’t have the opportunity to prove my skills aside from doc review to someone in my firm to try and jump to partner track.

        As for salary, my firm does it lockstep based on years of experience. Some of us (myself included) negotiated but didn’t get anywhere with it. It didn’t hurt us with our superiors though.

        1. For the OP, are you going to be doing doc review? Or something of substance?

          My old firm used to send routine matters (e.g., mutual fund filings) to staff attorneys. They were well paid and trained and got to go on the same CLE trips as regular attorneys. I would take that sort of job. Fixed hours. Good work. Other firms are like this (all BigLaw though, but niche practices).

          For document review, I might not last that long at it to worry about career progression.

    4. My advice is to take the offer as it stands now because you are a junior attorney — not exactly an irreplaceable candidate. If you want to negotiate now, I would ask that the firm agree to evaluate a transition to partner-track associate at year-end, but it shouldn’t really scare them off. It lets them see your value before they commit, which is more important to small firm management. Alternatively, you should accept the offer, then work your butt off to prove your value and come year end, ask about transitioning your role to become partner-track associate.

    5. Can you just ask them about this? I don’t know this firm’s culture, but if you think it would be acceptable, I would consider a conversation where you say you are very happy about the offer and would like to clarify expectations about becoming partner-track. You understand that a promotion to partner-track is likely within a year, and you understand that the firm generally requires three years experience to hire a partner-track associate. Is that why this offer is for a staff associate position– because you have two years, and not three? And then after they answer that, you can say you appreciate the clarification and just want to make sure you set the right goals from the start, because you want to be part of this firm for the long-term, etc. etc.

    6. HCOL dweller here and former biglaw associate. I agree with others to be very wary about getting put on associate/partner track. Friends of mine who were biglaw associates and hated it actually considered going staff attorney/non-partner track and $120 is definitely market pay for that. You will likely not receive bonus and raises will be small (i.e. not in line with lockstep progression). Friends of mine who considered it wanted to because they wanted to still practice law and get projects without worrying about hours, but they were ok with — and you should be very aware of — the stigma that unfortunately gets attached to Staff Attorneys at biglaw firms. That is why I would be very, very wary of any promise to be placed on an associate track. You may not only be stigmatized at that firm but other firms you try to apply to as an associate. I don’t know your financials and career goals, but it can be somewhat of a dead-end position if you have dreams of partner, etc. In many ways, a biglaw associate can also be in a dead-end position, but because it does’t carry the same stigma, it opens a bit more doors elsewhere. That being said, if you don’t mind making around this amount for doing a lot of writing and research for the next 5ish years,go for it! The lower pay comes with less of an expectation of buying your time and being on call, but it can vary by firm and partner. Do not expect to be making 70k more in 5 years and be aware that you may not have as many career prospects, though I do think things have changed from, say, 2010.

      1. Also, I don’t understand the whole “because you are less than 3 years” thing. I think most firms will just subtract a year or two from your associate level, so start you as a 1st year associate instead of a 2nd year, despite your class year. Not sure about the associate by way of staff attorney years requirement.

  7. Cystic acne treatment suggestions? I get bad cysts on my chin from stress and hormones. I’ve been to the dem and tried Differin and Epiduo, both to no real improvement. I take ortho tricyclin BC pills, have for 12 years. I didn’t have real cystic acne till my mid-20s, and I’m in my early 30s now. Its quite embarrassing!

    When I get a cyst or several, is it better to use benzyl peroxide, salycilic acid, combo? Sulfur? What works for you? TBH icing them seems to help a lot. They are quite painful.

    2. Not to go all earth mama on you, but have you tried eliminating different foods from your diet to see if that helps? I spent years trying to figure out my skin without much success, until I discovered the culprit – soy. Soy makes me break out. Once I eliminated all forms of soy products, my skin cleared up. Dairy doesn’t affect me at all (which is great because om nom nom cheese) but that is apparently common as well. Try different things and see if something is causing or exacerbating the problem?

        1. Yes. It is the top of the line gold standard treatment for cystic acne for a reason, as any dermatologist will tell you. It’s powerful and it works. Yes, it causes severe birth defects and is annoying to access because of that. Yes, it can cause dryness that is irritating. Yes, if you truly have cystic acne it is the best treatment available.

        2. Yes, I did two courses about 6 or 7 years ago. I’ve never had a problem since. Sure, it’s “scary” but it absolutely works. If you’re worried about scarring or anything like that, I wouldn’t even bother with anything else, just cut to the chase and get Accutane.

    4. Change your birth control, eat a strict low-GI diet, and I used to put epsom salts on mine to reduce swelling. Accutane if nothing else works.

    5. How frequent are the cysts? I’d get one or two a month , usually around my cycle. It took me a while to train myself to leave them alone. I’ve had good luck with Mario Badescu buffering lotion, diluted tea tree oil, and the Evologie blemish serum as spot treatments- not all at once, just rotating.

      1. Exactly, usually one or two on my chin the week before my period comes. I also get cysts in between my eyes. They are all painful and rarely come to a head, so I leave them alone, but they’ll linger for 2-3 weeks.

    6. Spironolactone.

      I’d try that long before Accutane.

      Retinoids for topical. Wash with sulfur daily.

      Bad cyst? A tiny dot of steroids at night, benzoyl peroxide in the morning. Very very sparing use of steroids or risk thinning and damaging skin. Talk with derm.

      1. Yes to spironolactone. It makes you pee like crazy but I liked it. And my derm said I could stop using it regularly and just when I was going thru stressful periods. That + Retinoids definitely helped. And they prescribed clindamyacin for occasional breakouts.

    7. I use a sulfur wash (prescription Sumadan) and Aczone (also prescription). They were effective enough for me to not require Accutane for sporadic cystic acne.

    8. Spironolactone and Vitamin D pills. Worked wonders for my skin. Have been on both for 6+ years now.

    9. Have you tried large doses of Vitamin B5? There are several Reddit threads on successful B5 protocols for cystic acne that are easily google-able. No side effects and you’ll know if it works for you in a matter of a few days. I’d try that first before trying Accutane or other drugs with known side effects.

    1. WOW. Love this. Any idea how the sizing runs versus Vince Camuto, Tahari, or Classiques Entier?

      1. I’ve tried this on- it’s a little bit shiny and therefore looks a little dressier/more evening than my other work dresses. I wear a 10 in Classiques and an 8 in VC, and the 8 in this fit fine.

      2. I ordered this dress in white with polka dots and just a word of warning it is a whole lot of ruching. Like way too much for work, imho. But sizing is pretty standard, “TTS” to the extent that’s any help. I find CE runs a bit larger maybe? I ordered the same size as I would try in BR.

        1. I second this. I ordered the navy version and it looked great, but felt a little too much for work. Also, fyi, there is some oddly placed ruching on the back that causes fabric to pucker and stick out. Hard to explain, but it was weird and probably the reason there are no pictures of the back…

      3. Thanks for the sizing info. It can’t be perfect since it’s still available in all sizes but looks great in the photos.

  9. I’m wondering if anyone has a recommendation for a good OB-GYN in the Boston South Shore area? Thank you!

    1. How good? For mainly GYN or mainly OB? I used south shore women’s health and they were fine (but I have no GYN issues and had three vanilla pregnancies). The best thing about them was extensive hours and location (I was in Hingham). They have a bunch of NPs and midwives so avoid if that’s not your thing. Have heard decent things about Crown OBGYN if you are closer to Quincy.

      1. I use Crown OBGYN and – if you’re in the market for a regular doctor – mine is in the same building and her name is Nancy Drew. And, yes, I totally chose her because of her name!

      2. Mainly OB. Extensive hours sound good. Will look both up. Haha I would totally remember a doctor named Nancy Drew! Thank you ladies.

    2. I loved Michelle Cahill at South Shore Medical Center in Kingston! Unfortunately I moved to DC but highly recommend Michelle.

      1. No, not at all. It’s floral, it’s lovely, it’s totally wedding appropriate. I think people on this s!te can go kind of overboard about the white thing. As long as you’re not wearing a literal white dress, you’re good.

  13. Oh no I’ve had my eye on that dress for that price forever! But I am on a serious buying freeze :-(

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